#Barmen Declaration

[minnesotafollower]

“The Benediction of Life Together” at Westminster Presbyterian Church 

On September 10, 2023, Rev. Tim Hart-Andersen. Senior Pastor at Minneapolis Westminster Presbyterian Church, delivered the sermon, “The Benediction of Life Together,” which was the first of his last seven sermons before his retirement at the end of October. Scripture Psalm 1: 1-3: “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the…

[weimarhaus]

Wilhelm Schmid, 7 February 1892 Remigen - 1 December 1971, Brè sopra Lugano,

Swiss painter who is categorised as belonging to the New Objectivity and Magical Realism movements.

He moved to Berlin in 1912. He initially worked there with Peter Behrens. In 1913, he worked with Bruno Paul and in 1914 became studio manager in the Berlin office of architect Paul Renner.

In 1918, he co-founded the November Group, which brought together the "revolutionaries of the spirit" (artists such as Otto Dix, Wassily Kandinsky and Rudolf Belling belonged to it).

A monograph on his painting was published in 1923, in which his Pierrots lunaires or musician paintings such as Puccini Butterfly, the Mona Luna, early landscapes and individual still lifes were depicted. Wilhelm Schmid belonged to the New Objectivity artistic and cultural movement.

He moved to France in 1924. He returned to Berlin in 1930. Partly influenced by French surrealism, he painted pictures such as Le Duel and other Headless. His paintings were acquired by museums and private collectors.

In 1937, ten of his paintings were confiscated from the Städtische Gemäldegalerie Bochum, the Städtische Kunstsammlung Duisburg, the Museum Folkwang Essen, the Städtische Kunsthalle Mannheim, the Museum für Kunst und Kunstgewerbe Stettin and the Ruhmeshalle Wuppertal-Barmen as part of the Nazi "Degenerate Art" campaign. Seven of these were destroyed. The whereabouts of the others are unknown.

"Fuoco" (Fire), 1920

Three naked, gesticulating female figures with loamy skin and bodies like mannequins in nocturnal blue, behind them a man with a violin setting the pace. In 1937, the painting "Fuoco" (Fire) was declared "degenerate art" by the National Socialists. For Wilhelm Schmid this meant economic ruin.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

It Happened Today in Christian History

July 24, 1934: The Rhineland women’s auxiliary joins the Westphalian auxiliary in backing the Barmen declaration of the confessing church which resisted the Nazis.

[mysticalblizzardcolor]

Barmen Today: A Contemporary Contemplative Declaration

[bobmccullochny]

History

November 28, 1520 - Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan passed through the strait (of Magellan) located at the southern tip of South America, thus crossing from the Atlantic Ocean into the Pacific.

November 28, 1821 - Panama declared itself independent from Spain and joined the fledgling nation of Gran Colombia.

November 28, 1905 - Irish political party Sinn Fein was founded in Dublin by Arthur Griffith.

November 28, 1919 - Lady Nancy Astor was elected as the first female in the British House of Commons.

November 28, 1934 - FBI agents killed bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson near Barrington, Illinois.

November 28, 1942 - Fire erupted inside the Coconut Grove nightclub in Boston killing nearly 500 persons who had become trapped inside.

November 28, 1943 - The Teheran Conference began, attended by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Premier Josef Stalin. Among the major topics discussed, a second front in Western Europe, resulting in D-Day, the seaborne invasion of Normandy in northern France on June 6, 1944.

Birthday - British artist and poet William Blake (1757-1827) was born in London. Best known for Songs of Innocence examining life through the eyes of children and Songs of Experience exploring adult viewpoints of the world.

Birthday - British cleric John Bunyan (1628-1688) was born in Elstow, Bedfordshire. He wrote A Pilgrim's Progress, a religious allegory of the human soul.

Birthday - German socialist Friedrich Engels (1820-1895) was born in Barmen, Wuppertal, Germany. He was an associate of Karl Marx and edited the second and third volumes of Marx's Das Kapital.

[johnhardinsawyer]

Holy No - Holy Yes

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

11 / 26 / 23 – Reign of Christ Sunday

Matthew 25:31-40

2 Kings 22:1-13, 23:1-3

“Holy No – Holy Yes”

(When Jesus Reigns)

Nearly ninety years ago, a group of pastors and church leaders gathered together at the Gemarke Church in a town called Barmen in the western part of Germany.  Their gathering was in response to the rise of a group called “German Christians.”  

On the surface, most Germans did not have much of a problem with the so-called “German Christians,” which was. . . 

. . . a popular movement that saw no conflict between Christianity and the ideals of Hitler’s National Socialism. . . Most Germans took the union of Christianity, nationalism, and militarism for granted and patriotic sentiments were equated with Christian truth.  The German Christians exalted the racially pure nation and the rule of Hitler as God’s will for the German people.[1]   

But for some pastors and church leaders, professors and regular church folks, there could not have been more of a difference between the ideals of Christianity and the ideals of the Nazi party.  And so, this small group gathered to discuss and vote upon a declaration that opposed the efforts of the Nazis to coopt the church into some kind of nationalistic, government-controlled, quasi-religious-entity that would go on to rubber-stamp atrocities like the persecution of religious and racial minorities that led up to the holocaust.  In their declaration, the people who gathered at Barmen were issuing a holy “No,” or “Nein,” to the unholy demands of the Nazi state and offering a holy “Yes,” or “Ja,” to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  For the people at Barmen, Jesus Christ is Lord – not Hitler, or any other human being.  Christians belong to Jesus – not the Nazi party or any other human organization.  The Christian message is the property of Jesus – not that of propaganda peddling plutocrats.  The leaders of the Church are chosen, not by the government, but by the Church, itself – through the movement of the Holy Spirit.  The church has its own mission and is not an organ of the State.  And the Word and work of the church should be free from outside arbitrary human influences, desires, purposes, and plans. 

The Barmen Declaration was a bold spiritual move in the face of a dangerous political reality.  Karl Barth, the professor of theology who wrote much of the Barmen Declaration, was forced into exile in Switzerland and Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German pastor and teacher who supported Barmen and the movement that it represented, was eventually executed by the Nazis in the final days of World War II.  Taking a stand has consequences. . .

In today’s reading from 2 Kings, we find a young king named Josiah who took a stand.  Over the past several weeks as we have made our way through the Narrative Lectionary, we have been exploring how the twelve tribes of Israel were split between two kingdoms and how the Northern Kingdom was comprised of eleven tribes and the Southern Kingdom was comprised of one tribe.  Many years prior to today’s story about Josiah, the Northern kingdom fell to the Assyrian empire.  But, the people who ruled the Southern Kingdom – the Kingdom of Judah – had made a deal with the Assyrians, paying taxes to the empire and agreeing to adopt some of the Assyrian religious practices.  This meant that idol worship – worshiping the “small g” gods of the Assyrians – became regular practice in places as prominent as the city of Jerusalem and that worship of the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David and Solomon, was not a high priority, especially among the local rulers who sat in Jerusalem on the throne of David and Solomon.  

As the story goes, both Josiah’s grandfather and father, “did what was evil in the sight of the Lord,” (2 Kings 21:2 and 20)  Josiah’s grandfather even built altars to foreign “small g” gods in the courts of the Temple in Jerusalem – a big no-no.  But, for some reason – after Josiah’s father had been killed by his own servants – when Josiah became king, there was a change.  According to today’s reading, Josiah was eight years old when he became king.  And, according to the historian who recounts the story of Josiah’s rule, Josiah “. . . did what was right in the sight of the Lord” (22:2)

As the author of 2 Kings recounts, “Before Josiah there was no king like him who turned to the Lord with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his might, according to all the law of Moses; nor did any like him arise after him.”  (23:25)

One of the things that set Josiah apart from almost all of the fifteen kings of Judah who had come before him – and the four that came after him – was that when a copy of the old Law of Moses was found in some dusty corner of the Temple, Josiah chose to actually try to live faithfully by what it said.  And he encouraged his people to do the same.  They took down the altars to the “small g” gods, and the houses of the prostitutes that had been built on-site in the Temple.  They ran all of the so-called priests and magicians out of the kingdom and they dismantle every sign of idol worship in the land – taking the idols out and burning them and then scattering the ashes and dust in a graveyard.[2]  They did what they could to rebuild and repair the Temple and restarted proper worship in that place.  

In doing this, Josiah offered a Holy “No” to the Assyrian empire and a Holy “Yes” to God.  Josiah may have been a king, but his true allegiance was not to himself, or to the empire, but to God.

Now, when it comes to you and me, I’m pretty sure – for a whole host of reasons – that we are glad we are not living in the land of Judah, in the time of Josiah, six hundred years before the birth of Jesus – no antibiotics, no cell phones, no pre-sliced bread.  And, I’m pretty sure – for a whole host of reasons – that we are glad we are not living in the 1930’s in Hitler’s Germany – like the people who gathered at Barmen.  I mean, nobody in the 1930’s had even heard of the Great British Baking Show on Netflix.  “Was ist das Netflix?” they would ask.  “Was ist das soggy bottom on das pastry?  Nein!”  Our lives are, in so many ways, much easier than those who came before us.  

But our choices – especially when it comes to the Holy “No’s” and Holy “Yes’s” that God places before us – are they easier than those who came before us?  We live in a time when saying “No” or “Yes” to certain things – certain ideas, or ideologies, or belief systems, theories, and opinions – will earn us disapproval from those we love.  There are those who are disowned by members of their own families for how they vote or what they claim as “the truth.”  Some of you may have gathered around very awkward Thanksgiving tables this past week – uncertain of whether a mere mention of one thing or another would start some kind of argument with those to the right and left of you.  Or, your Thanksgiving table may have already been partitioned off to keep “those people” with whom you disagree out of your side of the conversation – maybe even out of the room or out of the house where you gathered.  Taking a stand can be so risky and sometimes we will do just about anything to mitigate that risk.  What is a Christian to do in such divided times?  Is it possible to stay true to God – offering a Holy “No” or a Holy “Yes” in a moment when it matters – even when it is risky to do so?  

It seems silly, but I do feel I need to make one distinction, here, when it comes to what I mean when I say “Christian.”  You see, there are some who claim to be Christian, but they aren’t interested in faith per-se.  Instead, the label “Christian” is more of an historical – tribal – identity.  Proponents of so-called Christian Nationalism – fall into this camp – echoing the idolatrous ideology of the “German Christians” of ninety years ago with an “us vs. them” list of grievances and a skewed pseudo-spiritual (perhaps, even violent) view on how to resolve these grievances.  And so, we see a rise in antisemitism and anti-“other-than-us” feelings and actions as a way to distinguish “us from them,” as if grievances and circling the racial and tribal wagons will save us from what we feel ails us.  Friends, there is no grievance in the love of God and we would be wise to be wary of those whose primary belief system seems to be built on us vs. them grievance.  Grievance and fear can become idols that we worship.  Safety and security can become idols, too.  The Lordship of Christ asks much more of us than we can imagine.  

There are also those Christians who say, “If you want to know what I believe, just open the Bible.”[3]  Well, the Bible says a lot of things.  It was said that Josiah made a covenant to follow the whole law and that the people joined him in this covenant,[4] but scripture never describes this, fully.  I mean, I’m sure that, out of concern for health and purity, they didn’t eat the rock badger, like it says not to do in Leviticus 11:5, but I also hope that out of concern for their neighbors, they took special care of orphans and widows and foreigners, like it says in Deuteronomy 14:29.  I hope that they loved God with all their heart and soul, like it is says in Deuteronomy 6, and as Josiah does in today’s reading, but I also hope that they loved their neighbor like it says in Leviticus 19.  

When it comes to being faithful to God, people of faith will often prioritize certain things. There are some who try so hard to be faithful to God by offering a lot of Holy “No’s” when it comes to their own behavior – trying to stay pure for God.  Sometimes, these Holy “No’s” from one group of Christians will spill over into other people’s lives – trying to make them more pure, whether they want to be or not.  

When it comes to being faithful to God, we might have our own priorities, but what are God’s priorities?  We can see them summed up in the often-quoted Micah 6:8 – “What does the Lord require of you, but to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God.”  We had this as a banner on our church lawn during the pandemic.  I don’t know if it made a difference, but it did send a sign – literally and figuratively – about what our priorities are when it comes to God. 

Some of you might remember that there was a banner on our church lawn prior to the one that quoted Micah.  The first banner said, “We stand against racism.”  This seemed like a fairly “safe” stance to take in the summer of 2020 when so many people across the country were marching on behalf of racial justice after the death of George Floyd.  I mean, Jesus was against racism.  Shouldn’t we be, too?  But I remember contentious Session meetings and other conversations in which we debated the risks of taking a stand.  Sometimes, offering a Holy “No” – to things like racism – can feel like a risky thing.  But offering a Holy “Yes” to the reign of Christ often demands risk and we would be wise to pay attention to what the Lord truly requires of us.  What does the Lord require?  

We see one vision of this in today’s reading from Matthew 25.  The Son of Man comes and sits in judgment – some folks really like this “judgy” part – but remember, it is God who judges, not human beings.  And the judgement of God’s people is based on the love and justice that they display.  God offers God’s Holy “Yes” to those who have offered a Holy “Yes” to feed the hungry, give the thirsty something to drink, clothe the naked, take care of the sick, and visit the prisoner – to “care for the least of these” as Jesus calls them. 

What does the reign of Christ to a Christian or a to a church who cares for the least of these?  It might not look like the church of our ancestors or the church where we are always comfortable and safe.  It will look different because Christ asks something different from us – especially the dismantling of poverty and racism and offering a “Yes” to the least of these when and where it matters most, because, as Jesus says, “every time you helped, served, loved, and lifted up the ‘least of these,’ you did this to me.”[5]  And so, the Christians at Barmen take a stand against fascism, and Josiah calls his people to live a different way – against the empire. . .  

And we . . .  ? 

Well, my hope and humble prayer would be that our Holy “No’s” and Holy “Yes’s” would echo and embody the justice, and mercy, and humility that the Lord requires – no matter the risk.  Does Jesus reign in your heart and mine?  Do we offer Jesus our whole heart and soul and mind or have we pledged allegiance to someone – or something – else?  Friends, in Jesus Christ, God’s Holy “Yes” has been offered to us.  May we offer our Holy “Yes” in return.  The love of Jesus – the reign of Christ – is worth the risk. . .  

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.  

[1] The Book of Confessions: The Constitution of the Presbyterian Church (USA) – Part 1 (Louisville: The Office of the General Assembly, 2016) 280.  From the introduction to “The Theological Declaration of Barmen.”

[2] See 2 Kings 23:4-25.

[3] https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/27/mike-johnson-christian-bible-lgbtq-abortion-rights.

[4] See 2 Kings 23:3.

[5] Matthew 25:40 – Paraphrased, JHS.

[trenenlasnubes]

Congregational or episcopal Character of the Church?

During my probation time – as a beginning pastor in Belgium – there was a lot of discussion on the congregational or episcopal principle in the United Protestant Church in Belgium – Verenigde Protestantse Kerk in België / VPKB). Next to the fact that the protestant church in Belgium (especially in Flanders) was somewhat different from protestant churches in other countries, the assumed character of the church was utterly important! In fact – there was an extra assessment for theologians from outside Belgium, who wanted to work within the VPKB – the so called “box” with reading Materials was very mysterious and very important… Among other things one was asked for an estimate on the church being rather congregational or episcopal?

Soon I found out, that it is not easy to define “episcopal”. Is it about bishops (local, regional or national)? Within catholic (and laicism) dominated Belgium, I noticed that even though people tended to call the structure (within the protestant denomination) rather congregational, some pastors were somehow like local bishops anyway. Whereas pastors have a contract with the local church council, it would mostly be clear, that the pastor (or the main pastor) would be the chair of the church council. On the other hand, pastors might not necessarily be a member of the board, which is dealing with finances and other “worldly” matters. This “local attachment” of pastors sometimes makes it difficult for the church on the district or the synod level to interfere with the business of the local church – even if this might seem appropriate.

Furthermore, it is not easy to define the congregational character either. Yes, as a general protestant principle we have sovereignty of the local congregation. However, local congregations eventually gather in larger entities, and define common basic values. These might alter over time as well as the individual character of local congregations being or becoming part of the larger entity might differ.

Whereas Den Norske Kirke, until recently, was led by the King and all power being derived from there, the Evangelische Kirche in Hessen und Nassau (EKHN) is a construction from shortly after World War II. Ensuring that eventually in Nazi time shaped power structures would be cut off, the EKHN evolved from three regional churches, Nassau, Frankfurt and Hesse-Darmstadt. Bringing together a Union (luth. & ref.) oriented, a pietistic plus Declaration of Barmen oriented and a confirmation-founded and synodal structured church. The election of Martin Niemöller (a former submarine-captain and renamed member of the “Bekennende Kirche” in Nazi-Germany) as its first church-president, established the EKHN in the tradition of the “Bekennende Kirche”, construed from the local congregation – from below. A since the 1990s ongoing discussion on adequate church structure led to empowering the middle level – the deanery. This led to important changes within the church order. After 75 years, the EKHN considers itself an argumentative, pious and political church.

In Den Norske Kirke the role of the bishop seems to have changed over time – many things being decided on the communal level now, basic things are also being decided in the prosti (cfr. deanery).

It seems then, that history shapes churches in very different ways. They have in common, the continuous need of change. Apparently, a clear distinction between the congregational and episcopal principle is not possible.

In order for churches to find and define their character (again?), it will be important to look at what the church of Jesus Christ needs in the here and now! What are the values it carries? What is its mission and vision? What resources are (really) needed, in order to make this happen?

~ To be continued ~

[buggie-hagen]

Barmen continues to remind us that there are times when we should, indeed, must, make a confession. In addition, the particular confession articulated so concisely and boldly in the Declaration is essential, if the church seeks to proclaim a message that is consistent with the very center of its faith and desires to live in ways that reflect this faith.

~Kurt Hendel, “The Historical Context of the Barmen Declaration” in Currents in Theology and Mission, vol. 36, no. 2, 136.

[a-queer-seminarian]

the Declaration of Barmen feels like a subtweet: we all know who the message is about, but no one's saying it outright.

a Polity classmate

[possil]

THE NECESSITY OF CHRISTIAN DISTINCTIVENESS

THE NECESSITY OF CHRISTIAN DISTINCTIVENESS

Conflict between biblical Christians and secularists is inevitable. In our secular society many find Christianity utterly offensive. Biblical Christianity is rejected and stigmatised because it holds fast to its beliefs whilst the surrounding culture rapidly changes. The clear message of the Bible concerning our purpose and meaning puts Christians totally at variance with the rest of society.

[richardsh56]

1st May 1948 Passing of Johannes Lesser – Faithful Pastor, Prussian Nationalist, “Half-Jew” #otdimjh

1st May 1948 Passing of Johannes Lesser – Faithful Pastor, Prussian Nationalist, “Half-Jew” #otdimjh

Johannes was the son of Heinrich Lesser, a Jewish bookseller from Halle who converted to Christianity in 1864, three years before Johannes was born on 17 February 1867. For most of his life this did not affect his career or ministry, but when the Nazi Party came to power, he was forced to retire early, denied a pension, and died on May 1st,  1948.

Johannes studied theology in Halle and Berlin,…

[jkinak04]

Barmen Declaration – United Church of Christ Barmen Declaration Source: Barmen Declaration - United Church of Christ

[rivage-seulm]

Lexington (KY) Bishop Questions Catholic Support of Donald Trump: He's Brutally Vilified

Lexington (KY) Bishop Questions Catholic Support of Donald Trump: He’s Brutally Vilified

Readings for 4th Sunday in Ordinary Time: JER 1:4-5, 17-19; PS 7:1-6, 15-17; I COR 12:31-13:13; LK 4:21-30

Last week, the bishop of Lexington, Kentucky, profoundly sharpened the recent controversy involving a student from Covington Catholic High School who confronted a Native American elder after this year’s pro-life march in Washington, D.C.

Writing an op-ed in the Lexington Herald-Leader

[bobmccullochny]

History

November 28, 1520 - Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan passed through the strait (of Magellan) located at the southern tip of South America, thus crossing from the Atlantic Ocean into the Pacific.

November 28, 1821 - Panama declared itself independent from Spain and joined the fledgling nation of Gran Colombia.

November 28, 1905 - Irish political party Sinn Fein was founded in Dublin by Arthur Griffith.

November 28, 1919 - Lady Nancy Astor was elected as the first female in the British House of Commons.

November 28, 1934 - FBI agents killed bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson near Barrington, Illinois.

November 28, 1942 - Fire erupted inside the Coconut Grove nightclub in Boston killing nearly 500 persons who had become trapped inside.

November 28, 1943 - The Teheran Conference began, attended by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet Premier Josef Stalin. Among the major topics discussed, a second front in Western Europe, resulting in D-Day, the seaborne invasion of Normandy in northern France on June 6, 1944.

Birthday - British artist and poet William Blake (1757-1827) was born in London. Best known for Songs of Innocence examining life through the eyes of children and Songs of Experience exploring adult viewpoints of the world.

Birthday - British cleric John Bunyan (1628-1688) was born in Elstow, Bedfordshire. He wrote A Pilgrim's Progress, a religious allegory of the human soul.

Birthday - German socialist Friedrich Engels (1820-1895) was born in Barmen, Wuppertal, Germany. He was an associate of Karl Marx and edited the second and third volumes of Marx's Das Kapital.

[shadowofthelamp]

More Together

Decided to finish off this thing I started back in Janury in honor of the Carnage trailer. Zadr Venom AU. Yes, Zim is named Doom, because how was I supposed to resist? Likes, replies, and reblogs appreciated!

Rated: T

Warnings: Mild mentions of gore/Venom canon-typical cannibalism, alcohol, and a brief moment where Dib remembers that he likes aliens a lot. 

Wordcount: 1175

In his twenty-four years of life, Dib had seen and been through a lot. He’d been knocked on his ass by more paranormal creatures than he could count, had lost six bs for one reason or another, and had worn his throat out screaming into three different pillows, two of which he’d then torn to shreds.

This, though?

This was new.

His arms rested against a creaking oak banister as a head made of a viscous substance that wasn’t quite black (but it was so deep of a red it may as well have been) settled on his arm, thick strands woven around his bicep underneath his sleeve.  That head had enveloped his entire body, had- had-

God, he could still taste the viscera sliding down his throat, still feel the crunch of skull between his teeth. He reached his free hand up, tugging his top lip up to make sure that he hadn’t grown shark teeth outside of the transformation. The sharpness of his canines wasn’t very encouraging.

There had been rumors of an alien crash. It had been dark, and he’d only had his flashlight and a taser, and yes, it was incredibly stupid, but that was what he did. Went off into dangerous places to prove the unprovable, to capture the uncapturable, to find the truth that no one else could or would. There had been searchlights, and he’d ducked behind a tree and cursed himself for forgetting to charge his phone. A cat had wandered past, and he’d only had seconds to consider how strange its eyes were when the searchlight had flashed on them before something had leapt forward and smothered him, an icy chill sinking through his skin and through muscles and bones to curl around his heart like a fist.

He’d run, ripped up his entire apartment for whatever food he could find, and then had started hearing voices other than his own. That was something he had been certain he’d grown out of, at least outside of hauntings. (Getting kicked out of the kid’s asylum three times meant you were either sane or so round-the-bend nobody could do anything for you anyway.)

An hour later, he’d turned into a monster, ripped a man’s head off, and stuffed it down his throat, so needless to say things had gone rather downhill from there.

The voice had pulled itself out of his skin with ruby pupil-less eyes and the most oil-slick and disgusting head Dib had ever seen, called itself Doom, declared they would be perfect together, and then passed out on his arm, half-sinking back into the skin. Which was where they were now, on the back porch of a bar that Dib had long since learned didn’t ask many questions as long as he paid his tab on time. He was glad he was wearing the trench coat that had both sleeves fully intact to hide his new “friend”, because even apathetic barmen may have been just a bit curious about the literal fucking alien chilling on and squirming under the skin inside a patron’s arm.

The porch had cleared out with the November chill, and Dib swigged a third shot of whiskey to wash the taste of guts from his throat.

“Stop that.” Oh, goody, the eyes were back.

“Stop what?”

“That horrible tasting sludge. I command you!” Dib’s arm jerked. He would have spilled the drink if he hadn’t already finished it, condensation dripping down and flattening a bit of hair on his wrist.

“I needed to-” There were other people staring at him. He narrowed his eyes, snarling, and they quickly looked away. Still, he dialed down the volume. “I needed to get the taste out of my mouth.”

“Intestines taste delicious, that liquid just burns!”

“Intestines taste like- like guts, guts don’t taste good raw!” Dib hissed back.

“They do, your unrefined human palate just has to adjust, then you’ll see.” Doom flopped Dib’s arm around a little more. “You need more muscle, muscle comes from meat!”

“Look, just because protein’s expensive-”

“Eating people is free,” the alien still hanging out on Dib’s arm said smugly, tendrils creeping down Dib’s other arm and shifting around his neck.  

“Eating people’s going to get real expensive if anyone catches us,” Dib said, fighting back his immediate monkey-brain xenophiliac responses to what felt like tentacles caressing his skin, pressing down just hard enough that it was clear Doom was only arguing as a formality and could probably regain control at any time. “Look. It’s not that there aren’t people who don’t deserve-”

“Of course there are! We’re on the same page!” Doom pulled back, reforming next to Dib’s neck, and the man pulled his coat collar up. “There is pain in you, Dib, rejection and fear, but together, we can fix it. Together, we hunt both man and beast-”

“-Sort out the frauds and the stupid cops and people who deserve to be eaten, and manage catch the real things,” Dib muttered as Doom purred, actually nuzzling against him. Like some kind of gooey alien cat.

“Yes, yes, exactly! You have strength and intelligence, I have power beyond your wildest dreams. Humans have rejected you-”

“Thanks a lot, goo-boy,” Dib interjected before Zim continued, one tendril tightening around his thigh as a warning but only drawing a rush of blood to his cheeks.

“-But I have not. On my planet, they misunderstand my genius, but here- here, I can be more. We can be more. You are the only being worthy of me, Dib-human. Be honored!”

There was something to the bright echoey timbre that Doom had that didn’t quite fit the fact that the only solid thing about him (them, it?) were the rows of razor-sharp teeth, but it was rapidly endearing Dib to the alien. Maybe it was the edge from the booze, or maybe that guy they’d ripped to shreds had been running high enough on adrenaline that the hormone was being digested and processed by now and making him go stupid.

“You know what?” Dib licked his lips, getting the last of the whiskey taste out as Doom gagged next to him. “I call the targets.”

“Is that a yes?”

“On a trial basis, understand? I can still find some way to fry you out of me, but I’m not about to look a superpowered gift alien in the mouth. Yet.”

He really hoped that the nip Doom made on his neck was supposed to be playful, but the fact that the alien was rumbling happily and pulsing joy through his body meant it was probably a good bet.

(Dib ended up puking up the whiskey twenty minutes later while Doom alternated cussing at him and crowing about being right. It was only remembering just how strong he’d felt when they’d been together that kept Dib from trying to make him stop with the blowtorch stuffed in the back of his closet.)