#Billy Washington/reader

[fan-goddess]

Yes sir…

Thank you @succnfuccubus for inspiring me to write this and convincing me to actually do this

Summary: After another rejection, Billy’s feeling a little down in the dumps. But after meeting with your friend that morning and looking at a unique source material, you get a very unique idea on how to hopefully cheer him up.

Authors Note: Gave the friend a name as it was just easier. I loved the idea, but I don’t like this for some reason

Taglist: @valeskafics, @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @omgbrcat @blue-serendipity @arcielee @targaryenbarbie @anjelicawrites d

Warnings: Smut books, p in v sex, m oral, praise kink, power imbalance role play, role play, angst, comforting, sad boy Billy Washington, the economy, begging, cuddling (if I miss any let me know)

Billy had never been a particularly avid reader. The most he’d ever voluntarily read probably being the required reading for secondary school English. You on the other hand, even before you’d stumbled across the smut section on the internet, had always been a common bookworm.

When your friend Lya first began to lend you books from her so called private collection though, now that’s when you became a woman possessed. Soon, most of what you were reading involved some sort of dark romance filtered in. Whether that was mafia, pirate, or just a simple brother’s best friend romance. You read it all with an expressionless face.

Yet when you’d begun to date Billy, you must confess to the amusement of Lya, who you’d been borrowing books from for all these years, that you hadn’t been borrowing and reading as many of those sort of books as you used too. Since now, you had a real life romance novel in front of your very eyes to carry out. It wasn’t exactly the dream romance kids pictured after watching a Disney movie, but what sort of relationships were these days?

The last few days, you and Billy had been unable to have sex due to a sudden difference in work times. Well, your work times and Billy’s interviews. Still, whilst you were used to this happening at some random times, your pussy had taken a sudden hit with the recent dry streak. Now, you were beginning to crave one of those novels of yours in your hands again. Desperate for a new sort of fiction that’d get brain stimulated and your cunt working.

So you called the best smut dealer you knew.

“Hey bestie!” You grinned, picking at your nail while your other hand was busy holding the phone. “I need a favour…” She’d laughed when you’d asked her for a new recommendation, yet to your relief, you and her had managed to agree to a meet up the next day to, exchange the goods.

The morning you were supposed to leave, you remember kissing Billy goodbye as your adorable half asleep boyfriend was still laying in bed all cosy and pretty. “Where are you going?” He’d grumbled, so cute with a small tired pout on his face that it almost made you want to strip back down to nothing and pounce on him there and then. The lack of sex it seemed was really getting to you right now.

“Visiting one of my friends for a morning drink. Nothing much baby. Remember though you’ve got that interview at 3, so don’t forget!” You smiled, giving him another deep kiss before you go that left Billy’s cheeks flushed from bashfulness. He’s so effortlessly fucking sexy it was utterly unreal…

When you got to the cafe you’d planned to meet Lya at, she eagerly waved at you from a discreet corner of the room. She may be honest as hell about what she reads, but she sure as hell knows how to act like a fucking dealer about it.

“Hello darling!” You smile, moving so you could give her a quick hug before sitting opposite her. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been alright thanks babes! Stocking up on my little novel collection, which reminds me!” She gives you a mischievous smile, and from her bag produced a book with quite a different cover than what you thought it’d be. As she places in front of you what looks to be a copy of great expectations.

“Think you’ve mixed up the books Lya!” You laugh, giggling in amusement when you see her look at you with such disappointment.

“Course I haven’t idiot!” She sighs, moving to grab the book and remove the book cover, before showing you the back of it. Where much to your surprise, you find the blurb for a very different book. Called ‘Unbuttoning the CEO’. “I read it last week and thought it’d be perfect for you!”

You laugh at the title and place the secret cover back on, before placing it in your bag. You don’t bring the book up again the rest of the catch up convo, but at the end when the two of you have eaten your cakes, drunk your coffees and were saying your goodbyes, you made sure to let Lya know what you thought of the book when you read it.

When you get back home, you head to the bedroom first to see if Billy’s back or not. The bed you can see is unmade and ruffled, yet when you feel it you can tell it’s cold to the touch, telling you Billy left a while a go. You head to the living room and sit on the sofa with a small sigh, praying Billy didn’t decide to head to the pub before a job interview.

You’re still for a couple minutes trying to think of what to do to occupy your time while you wait for Billy, and your eyes can’t help but be drawn to your bag, where the book practically taunts you from inside it. Before you even know it, you’re curled up on the sofa with the book in your hand and your lip between your teeth.

Words blur as you read sentence after sentence, but your eyes certainly eagerly tune in when you get to the actual sex part, which wasn’t even very far in to be honest.

The ceo takes the assistant on his desk, and you can’t help but clench your legs together when you read about how later on the assistant helps the CEO to ‘destress’. You take a small break to make yourself a quick drink, and can’t help but find your mind drifting to the idea of you and Billy in those scenes, playing those characters. You can’t help but forget about even making any sort of drink as you imagine exactly how you could help Billy destress from the recent unfair influx of job rejections.

You eagerly get back to reading though, and by the time Billy comes back home around 5, stinking slightly of cheap lager, you’ve already finished the book twice and reread your favourite scenes about three times over.

“Hey baby!” You smile, making note on how Billy nuzzles his body into yours as much as he can as soon as he gets close enough. Your pretty little teddy bear… “How’d it go?”

“Said I weren’t what they were looking for…” He murmurs into the length of your neck, as you kiss the top of his head softly. “Another fucking failure to add to the list…”

“Don’t say that!” You firmly say, placing both your hands on the side of his face to force his eyes to meet yours. You hate the way he looks so broken in that moment. So beaten by the world that all you want to do in that moment is wrap your arms around him and keep him safe from everything and everyone. The assholes who hurt him hurt him good and deep, and if you could, you’d beat them to death yourself. Maybe even with your porn book that’d be a right sight you must admit… “You are fucking amazing! You’re my favourite person in the whole world and I will not have you bring yourself down! Do you understand me Billy Washington?”

He gulps, and for a second you swear you can see tears build up in his eyes before they’re quickly blinked away.

“I-I underhand darling. Thank you, for being there for me. For everything.” He says, before bringing you in for a hug. Practically crushing you with how hard his arms lock around your waist and his head stays tucked in the skin of your neck.

The two of you stay there for what feels like hours. Holding each other while the time goes by. The only reason the two of you even break away from each other is because your phone rings so loudly all of a sudden and shocks the two of you into remembering the situation at hand. You quickly move to switch your phone on silent, and yet your eyes somehow manage to drift to the book peeking out from behind a sofa cushion, and an idea makes it way through your mind.

“Hey Billy…” You begin, smirking when you see Billy’s usual shy persona breaking through his shell once more when he sees that smile of yours. “I wanna try something tonight…”

“What is it?” He asks, raising a brow and stepping back slightly when he sees the grin on your face.

“Just something I read recently. Wanna see how you’ll like it…” You purr, placing your hands on his shoulders and dragging him to the edge of the sofa, before pushing him slightly so he falls backwards with a small gasp. His eyes open wide as they stare at you with such awe and admiration that you can’t help but find yourself blushing slightly.

You slowly lower yourself between Billy’s legs, which seem to open as wide as they can automatically, and with innocent fluttering eyes, lay your head on the side on his leg.

“Can I please suck your cock sir?” You beg, a pout on your lips to mimic pure desperation as Billy practically seems to have a heart attack above you. He appears breathless as you spring this sudden fantasy upon him, and yet by the way you can see and feel his trousers move and strain with his quickly swelling cock, you can tell with certainty that he definitely seems to be enjoying this.

“Yes…” He eventually murmurs with a heavy breath. “You can suck my cock….”

“Thank you sir, I promise I won’t let you down!” You smile, moving your hands to undo his belt and shimmy down his trousers and his underwear. When Billy is left sitting naked before you, as he’d claimed to feel silly if he was sitting in just his shirt, you can’t even stop yourself from admiring your boyfriends erect cock that stands proudly before your face.

“Such a pretty cock sir…” You murmur, before opening your mouth and taking it in your mouth as far as you can before your nose hits the small soft patch of hair lying at the base of Billy’s cock.

You can hear him keen and whine above you, and you’re very sad you can’t see the way his eyes no doubt roll to the back of his head. You slowly move your head back and forth, keeping a steady pace that leaves Billy practically shaking and whining above you.

“Please….” You hear him beg. A noise you love more than anything, and yet at this moment it’s not what you want. You want him to feel in control for once. To know how much you worship him and adore him. To know that he has the ability to make you become so needy and desperate for him that you’ll do anything to please him. That is, with the right words of course.

“Please darling!” He continues, his whimpering so delightful to your ears that you almost throw your plan out the window so you could give him as many earth shattering orgasms as he deserves. But patience is a virtue, so you continue to suck at Billy’s cock in a leisurely pace. Drawing all sorts of noises from him that leaves your own lower half aching for a release.

“Take control of me Billy…” You eventually say, admittedly growing tired of the lack of communication between the both of you. “Take hold of me and do whatever you want to me sir…”

It seems your words finally made it into his pretty little head. Since as soon as you try and go back to putting your mouth on him after saying those words to him, you feel a strong hand wrap itself between the strands of your hair, atopping you from getting anymore closer to his cock than what you already are. It makes your pussy admittedly wetter as you’re now effectively eye level with Billy’s weeping member, and yet am unable to touch it at all. Forced to stare at it while it weeps a single drop his precum and watch while it trails down his erection. It’s absolute fucking torture.

“Please sir!” You find yourself begging, an actual pout on your lips as desperation claws up your whole body. “I wanna make you feel good sir! Wanna warm your cock in my mouth and feel your cum trickling down my throat!”

You can feel the grip his hands have on your hair tighten, and before you know it, Billy’s cock is hitting the back of your throat and your eyes are rolling to the back of your head as your used like a pathetic fuck toy. You let your body go limp as you allow Billy to use you however he decides, yet he doesn’t seem to exactly have that part figured out yet, as he focuses on moaning and groaning about you like a porn star while he uses you to his current hearts content.

For a while, you almost find yourself unable to breathe. Gasping for air whenever the opportunity appeared. Yet still, you persist in your willingness, eager to see the usually so submissive man in front of you break.

“Fuck I’m gonna cum!” He groans, moaning as he further tightens his grip on you and forces you to work harder and faster on his cock. You moan wantonly and work your tongue harder as you feel his tip become drenched in a delicious mixture of both your spit and his precum, and feel his entire length throb under the weight of your efforts. It’s actually quite flattering really, seeing how fast he’s about to cum from your suggestions.

“Fuuuuuuck please swallow baby please please please!” He whines, that inner submissive of his still lingering as he holds your head down firmly on his cock while you feel his cum shoot down to the back of your throat, and practically choke you with how much you feel quickly filling your mouth. You cough slightly as you try and obey Billy by swallowing what you can, yet you can’t help but have a few drops of his essence flow down your cheek as you struggle swallowing the first few drops.

“Here you go baby…” Billy murmurs, using his fingers to pick up the stray dribbles and put them in front of your lips. Admittedly you feel quite bashful as you avoid his eyes while sucking the remaining taste of him off his fingers, but as soon as you finish, those same now spit covered fingers rest under your chin and force your head up so your eyes can meet.

A silent gasp releases under your breath as you see an uncharacteristic carefree yet somehow cocky smile on Billy’s face. That submissive man you saw not even five minutes ago gone as this new, changed man sits before you. Like some sort of strange sexual butterfly.

“You were a good girl for me.” He simply says, allowing you to bask in the feeling of his dominance that makes your legs weak at the knees. “And good girls if I’m right, get rewarded. You taught me that pretty girl. So please, get naked, and get on the bed for me arse up, so I can reward you for being so good for me.”

Fuck you’ve made a monster. A sexy one yes, but still a sexually dominant monster.

You do as Billy says to a T. Stripping yourself quickly so that your clothes are all over the bedroom floor, and placing your body on the bed in Billy’s desired position. You wait with bated breath for what feels like hours while your skin erupts in a multitude of goosebumps, and you swear you nearly jump out of your skin when you feel Billy’s warm skin suddenly against yours. You feel his half hard cock rubbing almost pitifully against your arse, and you realise with a very sick thrill that you can actually feel him getting harder the more your juices seem to coat him.

It seems though you were so caught up in your thoughts, that you miss the sounds of Billy’s own clumsy movements of stripping.

“So pretty…” He groans. A beautiful sound that leaves you wanting more more and more. How greedy of you… “You want to be fucked by me don’t you? By your boss?”

“Yes sir!” You whine, your head going dull as you stay focused only Billy’s body and nothing else. On the way he makes you feel so effortlessly, and without meaning. “Want you to make me yours! Want me to make sure everyone knows I only belong to you!”

You can hear Billy deeply grunt behind you, and with a gasp you don’t even at first realise belong to you, you feel Billy thrust his cock deep inside you. An intense feeling of fullness hitting you as you close your eyes and grip your hands desperately at the sheets in an attempt to ground yourself.

He gratefully allows you to get used to the sudden intrusion, but before you know it, Billy is quickly thrusting himself quickly in and out of you while you moan and keen for more beneath him. Your eyes screwing shut as your lower belly slowly tightens harder and harder.

“So good!” He groans, unexpectedly yet cautiously smacking your backside with his palm that causes an absolute pathetic sound to leave your lips. “My sweet little slut. All mine to fuck!”

An abundance of yeses comes quickly and brainlessly as you answer Billy’s statement with a high pitched moan. All you want right now is to cum. And by the way you can feel your cunt clenching and fluttering hard around Billy’s cock, you can guess it won’t be long before you do.

“Fuck sir I wanna cum please let me cum for you sir I’ve been so good!” You whine, your mouth hanging open in a silent scream as Billy somehow manages to move himself faster against you. The sound of his skin smacking at such a fast pace against your own to your ears sounding like an erotic symphony.

“Yes… you have been good…” Billy groans. His voice so strained it’s as if he’s struggling with all his strength to say them. “So you’ll continue to be good… by taking my fucking cum in your perfect cunt!”

You take that as your queue, and with a loud unwavering yell, you cum hard around Billy’s cock. Coaxing forth his own orgasm as he clutches hard at your skin and pushes himself as deep as he can to you. Moaning as you focus on the feeling of his hot cum filling you.

You can also feel his pubic hair stimulating your swollen clit, which leaves you silently gasping against the mattress and your aching pussy clenching against Billy’s softening cock.

The two of you stay where you are as you allow each other to breathe and calm down, yet it’s not long before the two of you are cuddling under the bed covers, with Billy’s cock still inside you.

“Did you like that baby?” You can’t help but murmur. Anxious on whether Billy was happy over you pushing him out of his usual comfort zone.

“It was different…” He summarises. You cannot see his face to make any assumptions. Given that your man has gone back to his roots by putting his head in the curve of your neck. “But I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

You may not be able to see it, but even so, your ego swells massively when you realise you can feel Billy’s bashful smile against your skin. It almost makes you want to have your wicked way with him again. That is though, before you realise with a warm feeling chest that Billy has steadily fallen asleep against you. With his softened cock still inside you, and your arms wrapped firmly around his body ensuring his safety.

“Sleep baby…” You murmur, kissing the top of his head with a smile. “You were such a good boy for me baby… we’ll see about rewarding you later….”

You may have imagined it, but you swear you can feel Billy smile against your skin. Yet you push the thought away and instead choose to close your eyes, and allow your own exhaustion to overcome you. You and Billy’s breaths and hearts synching as you hold each other with as much love as a sleeping person could handle.

[slasherscream]

the absolute INSANITY of the pushing your s/o away thing with the crazy ass boy gang… it’s like triggering a dog’s prey drive but for serial killers w abandonment issues

CRAZY ASS BOYS GANG + PUSHING THEIR HAND AWAY/REJECTING AFFECTION

❥ who gets pissed the fuck off ❥

Billy Loomis - Is irritated off rip. Billy plays it cool but he needs physical affection from you. He’s casual about it so he flies under the radar, but this is a stage five clinger. He’s always doing something small. Touching your fingers. A hand on your back. Neck. Sitting behind you instead of putting you directly in his lap. It’s little stuff. Hovering. Smack his hand away one of these times and his jaw clenches right away. “What the hell is your problem?” Please snuggle up to him and don’t start world war 3. It’s not worth the joke. 

Kevin Khatchadourian - Quick question, why do this to yourself? Kevin does not need, nor does he particularly enjoy, physical contact. Period. He is gracious enough to give you physical contact because he knows you’re built different (pathetic). For you to then turn around and spit in the face of him being kind enough to meet your needs? …. Quite crazy of you. The look he gives you is pure confusion because he’s honest to God baffled. What do you want to accomplish here? Go ahead and start begging now, because he’s not touching you for a long while. 

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - Swings wildly between damn near dodging any physical affection you attempt to give him to hanging off you like a squid on a ship. No in-between. For you to have the audacity to reject him when he’s feeling clingy? How dare you. He doesn’t have to beg anyone for attention! Did you forget who you’re dating? Doesn’t even care if you did it with obvious playfulness. He’s sensitive. He’s tender. He’s a bitch. He goes to get up and leave entirely and you have to grab him and beg him to cuddle so this doesn’t become a week long cold war. Happy ego stroking! 

Stu Macher - What you’re not about to do is ruin his mood. Baby, he’s about to ruin yours. How about that? If you push his hands off you once he enjoys a little playful bitchiness. Playing hard to get. He likes to chase, it’s cool. Twice? Okay…. We’re irritating him. Three times? He’s gonna grab your hand, stop smiling, and stare at you. When he places his hand back where it belongs, on your thigh, don’t act up again. He could make your whole week go to shit. Don’t start wars you won’t win. He’s the king of playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes. 

Nathan Prescott - Has to bluster and get visibly pissed off because he is rejection sensitive to a degree that is astounding, frankly. Let you see him upset after he tried to be affectionate and you said no? Hah! Not fucking likely. Being physically affectionate in the first place doesn’t come easy to him. Quality time is more his speed. Even worse if it wasn’t a sexual advance he was making. He tried to wrap an arm around you and you shrug him off? You’ll be lucky to get a hello out of him for the next week. Good luck soldier.

David Mccall - Outwardly, he pretends to be despondent and sheepish when you bat his hand away. He’s using sadness as a shield. If he’s sad then you might feel bad and give in. He’ll use any tool in his arsenal to get his way. One of his greatest skills is speaking in a soft voice, just shy of how you’d speak to a toddler, and telling you: “I didn’t mean to upset you, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” This is all to hide the fact that you rejecting him in any way, shape, or form makes him so angry he can barely think. You might be able to catch the rage hidden behind the veil. If you’re quick enough. David puts on a convincing show, but his gentle smile is twitching at the edges.

❥ who gets sad and mopey ❥

Jordan Li - Oh you pushed them away? No, that’s cool, it’s totally fine. You can want space. Everyone’s entitled to their own space bubble. Of course. Are you having a bad day? Are you mad at them? Did they do something wrong? Did they piss you off? These are the types of questions Jordan is going to “casually” ask for the next ten minutes while they sit really close to you. They’re not touching you! They always sit with their legs spread so wide. Their arm isn’t around you, it’s on the back of the couch. You’re nitpicking here, babe. They’re staring at you with their big brown eyes. No, they didn’t get any closer while you weren’t looking. 

Josh Washington - Why would you do this to him? Don’t push his hand off you unless you mean it or you’re being obviously playful about it. If you pretend to be mad at him while you do it, no matter how unconvincing of an actor you are, he will believe you. Sensitive king. He also won’t go to touch you again until you initiate the contact. Physical touch is reassuring and comforting to him but even he (category five clinger) gets touch aversion at times. As observant as he is, he knows some people are uncomfortable asserting their boundaries, so they’ll try to soften the blow of saying no by being “playful”. He cannot take the risk! You could mean it but don’t want to hurt his feelings. Josh interprets many playful no’s as real ones. Better safe than sorry.

❥ secret third worse thing ❥

Sebastian Valmont - Doesn’t take it for anything more than what it is. If you’re being playful he recognizes it. If you’re seriously not wanting to be touched at any given moment he understands that as well. However, in the case of being playful, you’ve started a war you can’t win. Because, as much as Sebastian enjoys chasing you…  Sebastian also likes to be chased. Ten minutes from now you’ll go to give Sebastian’s cheek a kiss and he’s going to dodge you. Hard. To such an extent it’s bordering on insult. He’ll be wearing a cat that got the canary grin all the while. 

Jason Dean/JD - Doesn’t take you seriously even if you are dead serious. I’m sorry, you’ve discovered his worst character trait by far. Most boundaries are a joke to him. He always wants to touch you. He loves you! He craves you like a drug. You should feel the same for him, in equal measure and desperation. So why wouldn’t you want him touching you? Holding you close. He’s so gentle with you (usually). His arms should feel like home. No matter how long a day you’ve had. No matter how overwhelmed you might be with sound, sight, touch. In JD’s eyes you’re one soul in two bodies. He always wants you near. He knows you want the same. You’re just a little dramatic sometimes.

[adragonprinceswhore]

All work is 18+, Minors DNI

Aemond Targaryen

🌊 Colour My Mind, Bring Me Back

Prince Regent Aemond Targaryen returns to King’s Landing victorious after besting his uncle during The Battle Above the Gods Eye, securing his withering brother's claim to the Iron Throne. Upon his arrival, he learns that his wife was a casualty of a Black ambush, suffering a severe blow to her skull. When her disoriented mind wakes, she’s lost all recollection of him and their shared past.

🌺 The Way I Feel Under Your Command

Disgruntled, Aemond agrees to accompany his family on their yearly summer trip to Red Lake; a luxury resort hidden away in the ruins of an ancient castle. Dragged to a staff party on his first night there, he meets a young woman working as a dance instructor in urgent need of a partner.

🎼 Rumours

After a painful separation, you and your soon-to-be ex husband agree to put your differences aside and continue to make music together. But Aemond Targaryen’s vengeful streak runs deep, and you’re the object of his ire.

🍄 The Commune

A modern AU where Aemond, power-hungry and high on hubris, is the leader of a commune with a peculiar affection for the Seven.

🐉 One Whore’s As Good As Another

Desperate to prove he’s no mere boy, Prince Aemond leaves his taunting brother and seeks out another conquest. Momentarily, he feels back in control, until his brother reappears.

🔥 Warm Me Up

When his wife speaks out of turn during a dinner with the King, Aemond needs to reprimand her indiscretions.

🏺Whatever Interests You

You’re hired as a journalist to interview Prince Aemond Targaryen about his complicated family and their colonial past. Meeting the prince in person, he proves to be much more than the pompous royal you had imagined.

🏒 Sexting w/ modern!Aemond

You may be the one Aemond asks for when carnal urges consume him, but never forget that he’s in charge.

❤️‍🩹 Soft & Hard

How do you forget about Aemond Targaryen when he’s everywhere you look?

🥀 Romancer

When his wife tragically passes away, Prince Aemond stops at nothing to get her back.

📸 Make You Feel My Love

A few months after you break things off with your boyfriend, Aemond, you start receiving strange messages and phone calls from an unknown number. Things escalate when you’re sent a video secretly filmed half a year ago, of you and Aemond having sex.

🍑 Celebratory Dinner

Aemond wants to try something new for your one year anniversary.

Aegon II Targaryen

💫 Rip It Up & Start Again

Growing up on the perilous streets of Flea Bottom, you’d learned that in King’s Landing it’s either eat or be eaten. When you hear from a friend that a posh rehab centre just outside of town is hosting an open AA meeting, you see your chance to infiltrate the elite of Westeros, hoping to swipe something of value from one of the rich snobs there. Unfortunately, it seems like the wristwatch you attempt to nick belongs to a man you share an unexplainable bond with.

🕯️Teaching the Unteachable

When all else fails, Aegon’s wife employs drastic measures to teach the unteachable.

Billy Washington

🚿 You’re Perfect

You ask Billy to fulfill one of your fantasies.

Tom Bennett

⚓️ Tell Me You Missed Me

Word around the street is that you went on a date with someone else? Tom Bennet, fresh of the navy vessel, is not happy to hear that.

Osferth

♨️ You’re Nothing But A Beast

After falling into a river in the middle of winter, Osferth needs to warm up his lady companion.

[aemondwhoresworld]

Ewan Mitchell as Billy Washington — Trigger Point (2022)

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

Private Screening

23/12: Home Videos and Voyeurism - Billy Washington Word Count: 1.5k~ | Warnings: masturbation (m), voyeurism, home videos of sexual acts, smut

12 Days of Smuff Masterlist

Fuck work Christmas parties, Billy thinks with displeasure as he slobs across the sofa, half a can of Stella in one hand, the remote control in the other.

He felt a bit pathetic missing her after only a few hours. Suppose that was the worst bit about having a girlfriend that was also your best mate. But it did sound a bit precious when he thought about it like that.

The choice in TV shows didn't exactly sour him to pass the time either. It was that crappy few days between the last of the working year and Christmas, and there was sweet fuck all on tele.

Turning the volume down on a Christmas special of First Dates he glances outside, seeing that it's just begun to rain and he pulls lazily at one side of the curtains just enough to obscure his flat from passersbys on the street.

Propping up to fish his phone out his pocket, he scrolls mindlessly for a bit on Instagram Reels. But even then,  the doomscrolling and repetitive music his algorithm thinks he likes gets boring fast.

A messenger bubble pop up on his screen.

‘missing me baby? 😘’

He huffs a short laugh, typing with one hand.

‘Bored out of my mind’

She reads it immediately, and the three bubbles feel like edging.

‘I’m sure you'll find a way to entertain yourself 😉’

Cheeky, he thinks with that warm feeling in his stomach. She knew how bricked up he was when he saw her leaving, in that velvety dress he always likes her to keep on when they come home and pull each other needily to the bedroom.

With a heaved sigh, he uses one hand to pull the buttons of his jeans apart, then the zip and slides his hand into his boxers, stroking his currently soft member while he found something to ‘entertain’ himself to.

The locked folder in his photos app was a godless place.

He blinked as the face recognition granted him access, his cock stirring in his palm when he was greeted by video after video and photo after photo. 

Some, just her.

Some, both of them.

His breath hitches at some of the previews. It was something he started getting into to about six months into dating her. She was much more willing to discuss what she was into sexually than his other girlfriends, and he supposes it rubbed off on him. 

And when he suggested if it was okay if he recorded them during sex, he'd never seen that naughty gleam in her eyes so bright before. 

Like most things it was awkward at first. The first time they tried, she kept laughing nervously, her cheeks flushed as she covered her face and body with her hands. “I feel weird,” she had said, glancing briefly at his phone camera in one hand.

But when he reassured her that the videos and photos he had of her went absolutely nowhere beyond his eyes only, she was more...confident. She'd tease him when he started recording, cast sultry glances over her shoulder and pull him close to whisper ungodly things for his ears only.

His heart rate kicked up as his thumb hovered over one video in particular, remembering how she’d looked that night. Her skin glowing in the low light, her lips parted in soft moans, her eyes locked on his like he was the only thing in the world that mattered.

He tapped on the video, and immediately the screen came alive with her image. The frame started with her face, soft and radiant, her lips curved into a teasing smile as she leaned closer to the camera. Her eyes, half-lidded and filled with mischief, sparkled as she adjusted the angle, her voice a low murmur, “You better enjoy this later.”

She laid back, clad only in the lacy black bra and underwear set he loved so much. The fabric was so delicate it barely covered her entirely, teasing more than hiding really.

She was looking up at him, the movement of the camera making it obvious he was on top of her. The video caught the slow, deliberate rhythm of his hips moving against hers. Her body writhed beneath him, her chest rising and falling with each deep, shuddering breath.

Her moans were soft at first, little gasps and whimpers as she adjusted to the fullness of him. “Billy, you feel so good,” she whispered. His pace quickened slightly, the sound of their bodies meeting filling the room alongside her cries of pleasure.

He watched the video as his hand made its way down her front, kneading one breast before travelling downwards, his breath catching slightly as the angle caught a glimpse of the way he disappeared inside her over and over.

He adjusted slightly, pushing her knee back to change the angle, and the gasp she let out was enough to make his breath catch as he watched. “Right there, baby,” she murmured, her voice breaking into a moan as he thrust deeper—

Fuck.

That's where the video ends.

He'd clearly been so caught up in the moment that he'd abandoned the video.

But keen to keep up the building heat in his stomach, he swiped to the next. The feeling coiling tighter at the new video.

This time she was on her hands and knees, the view was tantalising, the curve of her spine leading down to where he was behind her, his hand firmly holding her hip. Her body moved in time with his thrusts, rocking forward with every deep push, and the sound of her breathless moans filled the otherwise quiet apartment.

Her head turned slightly toward the camera, and her eyes were glazed with lust, her lips parted as she gasped his name. “Harder,” she whispered, her voice raw and needy.

He stroked himself tighter, harder. So fucking close.

On the screen, she reached back, her fingers brushing against his thigh, urging him on. “Don’t stop,” she gasped. 

And her voice was what finally sent him over the edge.

As the video reached its peak, he pulled back slightly, his hands sliding from her hips to the small of her back as he drove into her one last time. Her moans hit a crescendo, her body shuddering as she buried her face into the pillow.

His own hips stuttered, squeezing himself hard towards the tip, warmth coating his knuckles as he came.

The last few seconds of the video showed him pulling out, her body still trembling as he finished on her lower back, his pearly release glistening on her skin. She turned her head toward the camera with a sly, breathless smile, her voice soft but teasing as she said, “You’re cleaning that up, you know.”

He looked down at himself, chest heaving, and thought with a soft, tired chuckle, ‘yeah, no shit.’

He let his phone flop against his stomach as he laid his head back against the sofa, spent, boneless, with his softening cock loose in his palm.

“Am I interrupting something?”

He nearly jumped out of his fucking skin. His hand pulling so quickly out of his boxers out of sheer reflex, he was immediately brought back to the heart-wrenching moments his mum would enter his room without knocking.

But luckily, it was her.

She was smiling against the doorway, arms crossed and smug, her coat over the hook in the doorway.

“Fucking hell, babe, how long have you been there?” his voice was shaky, trying with sheer willpower alone to reduce his heart rate.

“Long enough,” she said, her voice dripping with teasing satisfaction. 

Her gaze flicked down to his lap, and he followed it instinctively, moving quickly to pull his boxers back up, but too flustered to do up the buttons of his jeans. There was something both embarrassing and exhilarating at the prospect she'd been at the door, quite blatantly, watching him pleasure himself to her image.

She huffed a laugh and stepped into the room, deliberately swaying her hips, eyes darkening slightly as she stood in front of him. He could tell she was flushed from a few drinks, but not enough to be drunk. Just enough for her inhibitions to waver, and her confidence skyrocket.

“I’m guessing you were watching one of those videos,” she mused.

He swallowed hard, suddenly feeling very exposed. “Maybe.”

She smirked, pulling the hem of her dress up so she was able to straddle his lap, relishing the hitch in his breath. “Which one?” she asked, casually, her arms slung over his shoulders, as if she were just taking a seat.

“The, uh…” He cleared his throat, trying to focus. “The one where you’re on your hands and knees.”

“Oh,” she teased, drawing the word out. “That one.”

She placed the phone on the coffee table. “Well,” she murmured, her hands sliding up his chest, “since you clearly couldn’t wait for me…how about we make a new one?”

He felt his body zing with excitement, but his cheeks quickly flushed at the realisation he'd only just…

She caught the look, “or do the soldiers need time to recuperate?”

Billy snorted, a boyish, albeit, embarrassed smile lighting up his face. “Uh, give me like…five minutes.”

With a barely suppressed smirk, she clambered off him and made for the bedroom. “I'll be waiting!”

“Keep the dress on!”

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[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Laugh Like Me Again

Pairing: Billy Washington (Trigger Point) x f!reader Warnings: Angst, smut. Word count: ~7k

Summary: Billy accidentally strikes up a friendship with the girl that's just moved into the flat next door, but when faced repeatedly with the baggage of their pasts they struggle to take it any further than "just friends".

Author's note: A (belated) birthday gift for @targaryenrealnessdarling. No tag list. Follow @fics-by-ewanmitchellcrumbs and turn on post notifications.

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon. Billy sat on the sofa in the living room of his flat with the curtains closed, blocking out the midday winter sun. He’d not long gotten out of bed, barely lucid as an episode of Come Dine With Me played away to itself in the background. He stared at the TV screen, but wasn’t actually taking anything in, it may as well have stayed switched off.

A loud crash against his front door, followed by several soft thuds upon the floor outside of it, startled him out of his torpid state, the sudden noise causing him to jump slightly. Billy didn’t cope well with unexpected loudness anymore, he hadn’t for six months, not since he’d watched his car explode into a fiery wreck on Cranstead Fields. He grasped the arm of the sofa tightly, eyes wide and breathing accelerated as he looked towards the door, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he worried it might burst out of it.

It wasn’t until he heard the muffled voice of a woman swearing on the other side of the door that he finally relaxed, fear giving way to curiosity, as he rose slowly from his seat and walked towards the front door, opening it with trepidation.

There, upon the carpeted floor, knelt a young woman, a collapsed cardboard box discarded to the side of her, as she scrambled to pick up books that were strewn across the communal hallway floor.

“You alright?” he asked tentatively, watching as she huffed, attempting to gather the books into a tidy pile.

“Give me a hand, would you?” she asked distractedly, not looking up at him. “Fucking box was too heavy and the bottom gave way.”

He hesitated a moment, taken aback by her request. Nobody ever asked Billy for help, nobody ever asked him for anything really, he wasn’t usually a person that anyone felt they could depend upon, yet here was a complete stranger trusting him to come to her aid.

Finally, he stooped down, picking up as many books as he could manage to carry. His eyes skimmed the covers, taking in the authors’ names; Stephen King, Terry Pratchett, Tanith Lee – he’d read none of them. He had never been much of a reader though; the last book he had touched had been Of Mice and Men for GCSE English. Billy hadn’t understood it, and the F grade he’d gotten had reflected that.

He adjusted the heavy load in his arms, standing awkwardly, as she finally righted herself, the remainder of her books cradled against her chest.

Fuck, she’s gorgeous.

“So, erm, where we taking these then?” he asked.

“Just next door,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder at him as she walked the short distance to the front door next to his. “We’re gonna be neighbours.”

Billy followed close behind. The flat next to his had sat empty for months. It had been nice not to have to worry about the odd hours he kept, or how loud he had his TV.

Oh god, had she been able to hear him watching trash telly through the wall?

Her front door had been left on the latch, and he watched as she gently nudged it open with her foot and began to place the books in her arms down upon the floor, off to the side of the doorway. Once her arms were empty, she gestured for him to pass her the ones that he was holding and then did the same with those.

“D’you want help shifting anything else?” he asked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his grey jogging bottoms once he’d passed her the last of the books.

She straightened, turning to face him as she wiped her hands on her blue jeans. She really was stunning. Her hair was pulled away from her face in a high ponytail, leaving her features open and unobscured, and despite the casualness of her oversized jumper and jeans, she carried herself with a self assuredness that, to Billy, made it seem like the sexiest outfit in the world. He was immediately self conscious of his own scruffiness at that moment. He hadn’t looked in a mirror since waking up, but he knew he needed a shower and a shave. A giant stain from last night’s Pot Noodle emblazoned the chest of his black t-shirt, the very same t-shirt that he’d worn all day yesterday and then slept in. It was suddenly difficult to look her in the eye.

“That was the last of the boxes from that carload, actually,,” she said with a soft smile. “I can only fit so much in my shitty Fiat Panda, so having to make a fair few trips. Thank you for helping me though, and sorry for chucking books at your front door.”

Billy huffed softly through his nose, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards as he rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. “Don’t mention it.”

She pulled the door closed and locked it. “Well, it was nice to meet you,” she smiled, giving him her name, “and what should I call you?”

“I’m Billy,” he told her, his tone almost apologetic.

“Well, see you around, Billy.”

He watched her retreat down the hallway, until she disappeared through the door to the stairwell. He really hoped he would see her again, if anything just so he could prove to her that he was capable of not looking like an absolute slob.

Billy headed straight for the bathroom once he was back inside his own flat, not emerging until he’d showered, washed his hair, brushed his teeth, shaved and changed into clean clothes. It all felt like an effort, everything did these days. Piecing his life back together in the months that had followed his car being blown up had been difficult. It had been hard to come to terms with the idea that he had been radicalised by a terrorist group, impossible to make peace with the fact that he’d survived the explosion designed to kill him. His older sister, Lana, had nagged at him to go to therapy, to work through the trauma of what had happened, but therapy was expensive and he needed to keep a roof over his head, especially since Becky had split up with him and moved back to her mum’s. He had managed to get a job behind the bar of a local pub – the hours were shit and the pay wasn’t much better, but it made him feel useful, especially when it came to the manual aspects such as changing barrels and taking deliveries of crates of mixers and spirits. Each shift left him too exhausted to think about all he’d been through. He was existing, not really living, but that suited Billy just fine.

As the sky outside darkened into the purgatory that exists between late afternoon and early evening, his stomach began to rumble and he realised he hadn’t eaten yet today. Pulling open the fridge, Billy sighed at the bare shelves within. A half used bottle of ketchup lay on its side, a red puddle of sauce gathering beneath its lid, while the dregs of a carton of milk that was already two days past its use by date occupied the space in the door.

Fuck’s sake, he muttered to himself, stepping into his trainers and pulling on his coat, preparing for a trip out into the cold to buy groceries. A soft knock caused him to pause as he was zipping up his coat, and he tugged the door open, eyebrows raising slightly in surprise at the sight of his neighbour standing on the other side. He hadn’t anticipated seeing her again so soon, but he was glad he was in a better state than he was on their first encounter.

“Sorry, me again,” she said, raising her hand in a slight wave. “You’re probably sick of me asking for help, but I’ve unpacked my kettle and was gonna make a brew, but realised I’ve not got any milk. Don’t suppose you could lend me some?”

Billy couldn’t help but grin as he looked down at her, clearly amused by her question. “I thought people only did that in films,” he admitted. “I was actually just on my way out to buy some, if you wanna come? I can show you where the Tesco Express is.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice, actually,” she said, her face lighting up as she smiled brightly, “let me just grab my jacket.”

It was bitterly cold as they walked, the frigid air nippled relentlessly at Billy’s fingers, causing him to put his hands in his coat pockets to keep them warm. The street lamps were starting to come on as the sky turned a blue so dark it was almost black, and the continuous shine of the headlights of passing cars, coupled with the hum of their engines felt almost oppressive. He looked to her, seeking distraction. Billy worried that she might be cold; she’d only put on a leather jacket over the top of her jumper, though she had paired it with a massive, woolen scarf that she kept her face buried in up to her nose. 

“You all moved in now then?” he asked.

“Yeah, all my stuff’s in the flat now,” she replied, lifting her face from her scarf to look up at him, “just need to unpack it.”

Billy nodded, rounding a corner to the street that would lead them to the nearest Tesco. “So, what brings you to this neck of the woods then?”

“Had to leave my last place pretty sharpish,” she told him, “needed somewhere that was furnished and available straight away. This was the closest available to where I work.”

Her eye contact was avoidant as she explained this, seeming to retreat into herself. They were almost at the Tesco anyway, and Billy didn’t want to push a topic she was clearly uncomfortable talking about, so they walked the rest of the way in silence.

Billy grabbed milk, chocolate covered digestives and a couple of frozen pizzas, while she did a larger shop of essentials she didn’t have at her flat. As he watched her scan bread, eggs, milk and fresh fruit and vegetables through the self checkout, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by the junk food within his own basket. She had done a proper grown up’s shop, his own was the furthest thing from that.

“Let me make you a cuppa, to say thanks for everything today,” she offered as they stepped back into the warmth of their block of flats.

“Alright, sounds good,” Billy nodded, following her through her door.

Her living room was a sea of cardboard boxes, with barely any room to stand, let alone to sit down to drink tea.

“I know the cups are in here somewhere,” she said, setting down her shopping bags and beginning to open a box marked ‘KITCHEN’,

“Tell you what,” Billy suggested, “let’s go to mine for a tea. You can owe me one once you’re unpacked.”

Her eyes softened in gratitude as she looked up from the box at him, and it made warmth spread through his chest that rose all the way to his cheeks. He had to look away for fear she’d notice.

“That would be lovely. Thank you, Billy.”

He regretted his offer almost as soon as they stepped into his flat. Billy had never been tidy, if he hadn’t realised it himself, then the countless times that Lana had visited and nagged at him for it had certainly driven the message home.

You know, you can tidy up, Billy.

You’re allowed to open the curtains.

When was the last time you washed up?

It was easy to ignore when it was his own sister's passing comments, however, with a pretty girl by his side, it was as though he was looking at his living space through a fresh set of eyes, and he hated what he saw.

“Sorry…” he muttered, shame settling over him like a weighted blanket as he looked at the array of empty beer cans and crisp packets that were strewn across the coffee table.

She huffed an easy laugh as she followed him through to the kitchen. “Honestly, it’s fine. It’s not like you were expecting company, and you shouldn’t feel the need to apologise for how you keep your own space.”

He turned to stare at her, his brow furrowed in confusion at her lack of disgust. There was sincerity in her eyes, she wasn’t just being nice, she meant it. Her reaction eased his embarrassment somewhat, until he opened the cupboard to find he had no clean mugs.

“D’you live alone then?” she asked as he flicked on the kettle.

“Was it that obvious?” he replied with a grin, fishing two mugs out of the full sink. He busied himself with rinsing them out, while she leaned her back against the kitchen side, watching him.

She laughed at his response, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself as he scraped off the plate of used tea bags into the almost overflowing bin. It had been a long time since there had been laughter in his flat.

“So, what do you do for work then?” he asked, once they’d settled on the sofa with their teas. Billy had discarded his dirty washing to make space for her to sit next to him, and cleared the table so they could set down their mugs, alongside the packet of chocolate digestives he’d bought.

“I’m the social media manager for a publishing company,” she told him, before helping herself to a biscuit from the open packet and taking a bite.

Billy didn’t think he’d ever heard anything so daft in his entire life. He took a swig of his tea in an attempt to hide the way his features twisted in disdain. “So…er…do you just sit on Facebook all day then?”

She covered her lips with her hand as she giggled around a mouthful of biscuit. “That’s a bit of an oversimplification,” she said once she’d swallowed, “there’s a lot more to it than that.”

“Yeah, I s’pose there’s Twitter and Instagram too,” he said with a playful cock of his eyebrow.

“Oh, fuck off!” she grinned, swatting playfully at his leg.

Billy adored how easy he found being in her company, he had anticipated them not having much in common when he’d helped her to pick up her books earlier, but was now finding he hadn’t been this relaxed around anyone in a long time.

“So, what do you do then?”

The question made him tense, all sense of relaxation leaving his body as the familiar feeling of shame found its home within his body once more. His gaze drifted down to the mug that he held cradled in his hands as he spoke, feeling the need to justify his answer, and terrified she’d judge him for it. “I…erm…I work at The Joiners. It’s a pub not too far from here. It’s just temporary though, until I find something else.”

“What would you rather be doing?” she asked, before sipping her tea.

Billy blinked, stunned by the genuine interest in her tone. He was used to ‘you aren’t trying hard enough, Billy’ or ‘there’s always an excuse not to’. No one had ever bothered to take the time to ask him what he actually wanted.

“I dunno,” he admitted, lifting his eyes to meet hers, “I applied to join the army a couple of times, and kept getting rejected. Not sure what else I could do, I just wanna feel useful y’know? Work with my hands.”

She nodded in understanding, shifting to sit cross legged on the sofa as she faced him fully. “So, like manual labour?”

“Yeah, I s’pose. Bricklaying or something, would be cool to have a trade.”

“Then why don’t you?”

He sighed, leaning forward to put his half empty mug on the coffee table, before settling back against the sofa cushions. “Not that simple, is it? I’ve got no experience, I can’t just rock up to a building site and ask for a job.”

“No, but you can train,” she said, leaning towards him, her eyes lit up with enthusiasm, “there are vocational colleges that have two year courses for that sort of thing, and it would fit in perfectly around your bar work.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he admitted, raking a hand through his hair.

“Well, that’s why it’s good you’ve now got a friend that sits on Facebook all day for a living,” she said with a playful wink, “because I do. Let me help you.”

Let me help you.

The simplicity of those four little words made Billy’s heart soar, the warmth of his smile lit up his entire face as he nodded at her. “Alright then.”

“Good,” she smiled softly, before gesturing towards his Playstation. “Got any two player games?”

She had utterly destroyed him at several rounds of Street Fighter, before all too quickly they had to call it a night. Billy went to bed happier than he’d felt in ages, never more grateful for someone having chucked books at his front door by accident.

When he woke the next morning, he was surprised when he looked at his phone to see that it was before midday – 9am, to be exact. Billy never got up that early, yet he found himself slipping out of bed with ease and, for the first time since Becky had left, he opened the curtains.

Letting light into the flat felt like opening up a new chapter of his life, but also it highlighted just how much of a shit state he’d allowed the place to get into. He busied himself that morning, clearing rubbish off of every surface, washing up, wiping down the sides, emptying the bin, and filling the washing machine with dirty laundry. He even hoovered the floors and cleaned the bathroom – neither one a job he had undertaken since moving in. It filled him with pride to think that the next time his new friend visited, she’d see his place clean and tidy.

By the time Billy finished cleaning the flat, it was almost time for him to leave for his afternoon shift at The Joiners. As he stepped out of his flat, he noticed a luminous pink post-it note stuck to his door.

‘IOU one cup of tea’ it read, with a smiley face next to it and the link to a vocational college’s bricklaying course scribbled beneath it. Billy smiled to himself, plucking it from the door and stuffing it into his pocket, before making his way to work.

A few days went by and Billy didn’t see or hear anything more from her. While he wondered about her, he figured it wouldn’t be unusual for them not to cross paths – they kept completely different hours – she worked a Monday to Friday nine to five, while he worked a combination of late afternoon and evening shifts at the pub.

It was a late afternoon shift he was returning from that evening when he heard raised voices coming from her flat. They were muffled from behind the door, but he could hear the distinctive anger of a deep male voice, and her softer one in response. She sounded upset.

Billy paused, his key lifted halfway to the lock, as her front door flew open.

“Just get out!” she sobbed, “I don’t want you here!”

She shoved desperately at a man that was slightly shorter than he was, but of a much sturdier build. He moved clumsily out of her flat, righting himself against the wall as he stared her down with fury in his eyes. “You can’t leave me,” he seethed, “who else would want you? You’re damaged goods!”

Billy’s anger flared as he heard that. That stupid cunt had no idea what he was talking about, and certainly had no right to say that to her. He shoved his keys back into the pocket of his jeans, and stalked over to where the bloke stood against the wall.

“Don’t speak to her like that,” he glowered, staring intensely at the man before him.

“Billy, don’t–”

“Who’s this then?” the guy scoffed in amusement, cutting her off. His gaze moved between her and Billy. “You moved on already? You lying bitch!”

“I said, don’t speak to her like that!” Billy snarled, grabbing him by his jacket.

“Liam, no!”

Her shout of protest came too late. The impact of the fist against Billy’s face whipped his head to the side, the inertia knocking him off his feet as he landed heavily on the carpet with a shocked expulsion of air.

Liam stepped over Billy, walking away towards the stairwell, leaving him to cradle the side of his face as he lay on the floor, a dull pulse of pain throbbing against his cheekbone and spreading out across his eye socket.

“Oh god, Billy, I’m so sorry,” she cried, kneeling beside him and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, “are you okay?”

A few minutes later, he sat in an armchair in her flat, with a bag of frozen peas clutched against the side of his face. The eye that wasn’t obscured by the makeshift medical aid took in her living room. She’d unpacked. The shelves were filled with books, the sofa adorned with colourful throw blankets and cushions, and she’d placed plants and candles on almost every surface. It was cozy, it felt like a home.

“Thought you might want something a bit stronger than tea,” she said, appearing from the kitchen with two open bottles of beer in her hands. She handed one to Billy, before moving to sit on the end of the sofa that was nearest the armchair that he currently occupied.

“Thanks,” Billy said, offering her a tight smile, “for the beer, and the peas.”

Her brows arched in concern, her eyes still red rimmed from crying as she looked at him. “I really am sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Not you that needs to apologise,” he told her, pulling the peas away from his face as he took a swig of his beer. “Who was that prick anyway?”

She sighed, her eyes downcast as her thumbs picked anxiously at the Birra Moretti label on her bottle. “My ex, Liam. We didn’t exactly part on good terms.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Billy huffed in mild amusement, placing the bag of peas on the table in front of him.

“You’re gonna have a bruise,” she said, her tone apologetic.

“I’ve had worse,” he replied with a shrug, “are you alright?”

“I will be…” - she drank deeply from her beer - “was stupid of me to tell him he could come round anyway. He said he was gonna drop off a few things I’d left behind and I was gullible enough to think it wouldn’t end in an argument.”

Billy longed to comfort her. He’d only known her a week though, and they’d only hung out once, he wasn’t sure how she’d take it if he just pulled her into a hug. His heart ached for her, yet at the same time his own selfish jealousy flared within him, wanting to know precisely what had led to their split, to know if Liam was still a part of her life.

“So, what happened between you two…if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Caught him in bed with someone else,” she sniffed, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand, “Liam had always had a bit of a wandering eye, but I never thought it would amount to anything serious. It did, so I found this place and moved out as quickly as I could. As you saw, he’s not enjoying dealing with the consequences of his own actions.”

“You think he’ll come back?”

“I dunno,” she shrugged, “I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Billy furrowed his brow, growing pensive for a moment, before an idea occurred to him. “Give me your phone,” he said, holding his hand out.

“What? Why?”

“I’m gonna put my number in it. If he comes back, I want you to ring me okay?”

“So he can deck you again?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “He caught me by surprise, is all. I’ll be ready next time.”

He knew he was lying. Billy had never been a fighter, physical strength just wasn’t a skill he possessed, it was part of the reason the army had rejected him twice. Still, as he entered his number into the contacts of her phone, he knew he’d feel better just knowing he could be there for her.

She never texted him, though over the next couple of weeks they spent every evening that Billy wasn’t working together. At his place, they played Street Fighter and he imposed a rule that she wasn’t allowed to choose Chun Li as her character, as her knowledge of her special moves put her at an unfair advantage. When they were at hers, she read aloud to him from a copy of The Shining by Stephen King – a chapter for each visit. Billy had never enjoyed books, until now; the story was engaging, and not just because of Jack Torrence’s slow descent into madness. Her voice made every word more captivating and he found himself disappointed when each part drew to a close.

He was coming towards the end of an afternoon shift when his phone vibrated in his pocket – a text from an unknown number.

‘Hi stranger. Got a surprise for you back at the flat xxx’

His heart skipped a beat, his pulse racing as he realised it was from her. She’d never text him before, which is why her number wasn’t saved. He wondered what she could possibly have in store for him, and the rest of the afternoon felt as though time had ground to a halt as he waited impatiently to go home.

He frowned as he heard music playing softly from his flat as he arrived back – how had she gotten in? She didn’t have a key.

Opening the door, the music grew louder – some 90s R&B song that he didn’t know that name of, and there were lit candles on the coffee table in the living room.

“H–hello?” he called out, struggling to keep the anxious tremor from his voice.

“In here,” a voice replied from the bedroom.

He froze at the sound of it. He knew that voice. It filled him with a sense of dread, and for a moment, he considered simply turning and leaving.

Slowly, he made his way to the bedroom, pausing in the doorway. The sight within formed a pit in his stomach. His ex, Becky, lay provocatively on her side, her curves encased in lacy black lingerie, as she looked at him with a sultry smile upon her lips. Six months ago, he’d have been a goner for the display before him, now it made bile rise in his throat.

“Hiya, gorgeous,” she cooed, “I’ve missed you.”

His lips set into a hard line as he looked away, annoyance in his tone. “Becky, what the fuck are you playing at? How did you even get in?”

“I wanted to see you,” she said, pouting as she slipped off the bed to move towards him, “and I’ve still got my key.”

Realisation set in – the text had been from her. On the advice of Lana, he had deleted Becky’s number when they’d split for good, a means of avoiding the temptation to reach out to her. It had helped a lot in the process of getting over her. But it was now apparent that she had kept his.

He backed away from her as she reached for him, his face hardened in an expression of disgust and anger as he clenched his fists at his sides. His nostrils flared as he battled to keep his voice from raising. “Well, you can give your fucking key back when you leave. I don’t want you here.”

“You can’t be serious?” she scoffed, “You are rejecting me?”

He stared at her, unable to believe that this was a person who he had once mourned the loss of – he felt nothing but irritation seeing her now, a desperate need to be rid of her. “I am, yeah. You bailed when things fell apart. I don’t need you hanging around like a bad smell now that they’re finally piecing back together. Get out.”

“You’ll regret this, Billy,” she said angrily, her movements erratic and hurried as she snatched her tan coloured trench coat from the floor and belted it around herself, “you won’t do better than me.”

“I think I already have. Keys,” he demanded, holding his hand out.

She pulled them hastily from her pocket, chucking them towards him, before barging past him and out of the flat. Billy followed, watching her leave. She paused once in the hallway, looking to her right and smiling, before turning her attention back to him.

“Bye then, Billy,” she said, her tone saccharinely sweet. She blew him a kiss and then sauntered away.

His brow furrowed in confusion at the sudden change in her behaviour, until he looked to the left and saw his neighbour standing in the hallway, her copy of The Shining clutched to her chest. Her eyes were wide, a look of shock upon her face, though Billy was certain he could also see something akin to hurt reflected in their depths.

“Oh,” was all she uttered, before hurrying back inside and slamming her door behind her.

No. No. No. No. No.

“Fuck!” he cursed under his breath, slamming his hand against the doorframe in frustration.

Billy’s heart felt as though it was dropping endlessly through his body. Every part of him screamed at him to go after her, to explain to her what had happened, to reassure that what they had was – what?

The more he thought about it, the more he realised he didn’t quite know what was occurring between them. It would be weird for him to show up at her door and explain all of that away, under the assumption that she’d care. Perhaps he’d misread the situation, but as he retreated back into his flat he couldn’t shake the heavy burden of misery that settled upon him. There was a lingering sense of loss, a feeling that he had just allowed something important to slip through his fingers.

Billy fell back into a state of miserable, lifeless existence over the following week. There were no further hangouts with his neighbour, and he ached with the sensation of missing her. The flat grew messier with each passing day, but he found himself not caring, trapped in his own cowardice of not being able to simply reach out to her. All it would take was a knock at her door, but it felt too big, too scary. The curtains had closed around his world once more.

As he stuffed his hands into his coat pockets on his way to work one afternoon, his fingers brushed against a slip of paper. Fishing it out, he saw that it was the pink post-it note she had left on his door the morning after they’d first met. He smiled faintly at the memory, though his heart twinged with sadness. He looked at the URL scrawled at the bottom – he had forgotten about it until now.

During a lull between customers at the pub, Billy disappeared around the corner of the bar, pulling his phone free from his jeans pocket and hastily typed the link from the note into the browser. It led to the page to register for an open evening at a local vocational college. He’d left it so long to check it out, that the day was now only a week away. For a moment, he considered simply locking his phone again and forgetting about it. It was overwhelming, the unknown, the possibility for failure, but something niggled at the back of his mind – the memory of how enthusiastically she’d offered to help him out – he owed it to her to register. Before he had time to convince himself otherwise, he input his details, hit submit and then pocketed his phone once more.

As he worked the rest of his shift, his mind was preoccupied by thoughts of the open evening. What if they told him he was too stupid, laughed at him for even considering applying to any of the courses and told him he was useless?

He realised he needed someone there with him, otherwise he wouldn’t go at all. For a moment, he considered asking Lana, but that would put too much pressure on the situation – she’d ask too many demanding questions, expect him to know straight away what course he wanted to apply to, and then feed it all back to their parents. That was the absolute last thing he needed; nagging from mum and disapproval from dad. He wanted her there with him, the person who had started all of this in the first place. She made him feel supported and inspired, and the thought of having her by his side made it seem less overwhelming. The question was, would she even want to come?

Once he finished work, he found himself outside of her flat, fist raised to the door, but not quite able to knock. In the time they hadn’t spoken, their friendship had existed in limbo to Billy – it either was or it wasn’t, but there was still the hope to cling to that she did still think fondly of him. He hated the idea of knocking on her door and her reacting negatively, telling him to get lost. It would add a sense of finality to it all, confirm once and for all that he was alone again.

Fucking idiot, just knock, he muttered to himself, before finally rapping his knuckles against the wood.

He heard her soft footsteps on the other side of the door before she opened it and for a moment Billy just stood there, lips parted and unable to say anything as his entire body surged with warmth at the sight of her. Her hair was loose, tousled around her shoulders, and she was wearing an oversized white t-shirt and pyjama shorts – it looked as though she was ready for bed.

Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of him, obviously not expecting to see him. “Everything okay?” she asked, a tinge of concern colouring her tone.

It was then Billy realised he hadn’t said anything, had just been gawping at her like a creep. He lowered his gaze, swallowing thickly as embarrassment made his cheeks blaze. “S–sorry…yeah…I erm…I registered for that open evening at the college you mentioned.”

“Oh…oh, right,” she said slowly, nodding as she wrapped her arms around herself, “that’s good…that’s really good.”

“It’s next week,” he told her, finally looking up to meet her gaze, “I wondered if you wouldn’t mind coming with me…if…if you’re not busy?”

She chewed her lip anxiously for a moment before replying. “Isn’t that something you’d want your girlfriend to go with you to?”

Billy sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew exactly what she was referring to. Of course that was what she had thought. Fucking Becky.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he admitted, “I mean…she was, but she hasn’t been for a long time.”

“What was she doing at your place then?”

Billy fought the urge to smile at the imploring look upon her face as she asked that question. She was jealous, and it made his stomach flip to know she still liked him enough to feel that way.

“Can I come in before I answer that?”

She gave a slight nod, stepping aside to let him in before closing the door behind them. They both took a seat on the sofa, and Billy felt a part of himself grow lighter as he was once more immersed in the familiarity of her flat. It felt like just as much of a home to him as his own place did.

Billy turned the upper portion of his body to face her, watching as she placed a cushion in her lap to cover her bare legs as her shorts rode up her bare thighs. The sight made his throat run dry, and he had to wet his lips before he spoke, to remind himself why he was actually here.

“Her name’s Becky,” he began, “we split up about six months ago. She left me when my life had gone to shit – that’s something I wanna tell you about one day, once I’m ready. I want you to know. But yeah, she came round, wanting to rekindle something, I guess. I chucked her out, and that’s the end of it.”

Billy watched her, eager for her to say something, anything, as she stared pensively at the cushion she held in her lap, her fingers idly stroking its edges. “I suppose it’s not my place to be upset, considering my ex decked you,” she finally said, her voice quiet, “and really, it’s none of my business–”

“But I want it to be your business,” he interrupted, “I don’t want anyone thinking I’m still with her, especially not you!”

His eyes were wide as he stared at her, hoping that she could see he was being sincere. She said nothing as she stared back, though her posture softened, becoming less defensive.

Billy wasn’t sure who moved first, but he hoisted her into his lap as their lips connected, weeks of pent up tension melting away as their mouths moved with urgency. His tongue licked against hers, messy and desperate, as he hands caressed and squeezed every part of her body his hands could reach. She was soft, so soft, and she felt right against him. He cock stirred to life, hardening in his jeans with embarrassing quickness.

When they broke for air, both panting softly, she pulled her head back as he tried to kiss her again.

“What is it?” he asked, stroking his hands up and down her sides in a soothing gesture. She hadn’t moved off of his lap and didn’t look disgusted by what had happened, much to Billy’s relief.

“I just…maybe it’s too much, too quickly?” she whispered, “We’ve both got so much baggage, I don’t want to lose you if this doesn’t work out.”

Billy shook his head, giving her hips a gentle squeeze. “I get it, I do. But why write it off before we’ve even given it a chance? I’m sick and tired of waiting for my life to start, tired of acting like we’re just mates. Can we just…”

He threaded his fingers into her messy hair, guiding her lips back to his. This time she didn’t pull away, she kissed back eagerly, only stopping to tug her t-shirt up and over her head, chucking it to the side as she straddled his lap. 

Fuck, she was gorgeous.

His hands trailed up her bare torso, tentatively palming her breasts, feeling their weight and softness in his palms. When she lifted off of his lap to tug down her pyjama shorts, she giggled as she watched him struggle with the button and zipper of his jeans. God, he loved her laugh, he’d missed that sound. He pulled her back onto his lap with a lazy grin, his eyes screwing shut as a groan escaped him. The feeling of her wet folds stroking across the head of his hardened cock sent shockwaves of pleasure shooting all the way up his spine, making him feel light headed.

“Go slow,” he pleaded, as she sank down onto him, enveloping him in her tight heat. He knew it would be over all too soon if she continued to make him feel like this. His balls were already drawing up tight against his body.

“Thought you were tired of going slow,” she teased with an experimental roll of her hips.

“Fucking hell,” he gritted out, burying his face in the crook of her neck as she rode him. Each rock of her hips made his entire body tense and tremble. The slap of their flesh meeting punctuated every undulation of her hips, combined with their soft pants and moans.

“You have to stop,” he whimpered, as the telltale build of pressure at the base of his spine signalled his end, “I’m gonna–”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, tugging at the hair at the base of his neck to prompt him to look up into her eyes, “let go for me.”

Billy stilled, holding her hips in a grip so hard he was certain he’d leave bruises as his vision turned white, his mind going blank as his cock pulsated and spilled inside of her. The sensation made his entire body shudder, his thoughts not returning until the last of the tremors had subsided.

“Fuck…fuck…” he panted, brushing his hair away from his forehead as he looked up at her, “I’m sorry, you didn’t–”

“It’s fine,” she reassured him, pecking his lips gently with hers, “you’re not getting away with doing this just once tonight.”

A grin spread across Billy’s face. He was no longer a bystander in his own life, and he had her to thank for that.

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More Billy fics

[silverspotted]

[alicesivory]

The Moon Song

Inspired by the movie ‘her’ 2013 - directed by Spike Jonze 

Pairing: Billy Washington x female! Reader

Warning: smut, angst, and teeth rotting fluff (mdni), and not proof-read lol. 

WC: 7005 

Disclaimer: I am not comfortable using [y/n] but I won’t be using any OC since it’s still an x reader fic. But I’ll slip a nickname or two in some stories ;) Oh and I took some words and sentences from my favourite scene from the movie and the iconic monologue at the end but I revised it so it would fit into the story but all credits goes to Spike Jonze. Enjoy!

“War? You don’t got a clue- what do you know about war?! War against halal butchers? You don’t know anythin-.”

Billy nodded as tears started to build up in his eyes. Of course he knew nothing. It's as if anyone gave him a chance to know something. It’s meaningless at some point, he meant his life and all this bullshit about all of this charade. Just when he felt like a somebody, of course his sister had to crumble it all down.

Or just trying to make him snap out of it from this dreamlike state he’s in as his inner self tries to justify his actions. 

He didn’t mean to be like this in the first place or mingle with those thugs. 

He never did. 

“-grow up, Billy!”

He nodded once more as a tear dropped from his eye. 

“You done?”

“Yes, I am.”

Billy kept an eye on his sister as she stomped away from his room, and finally from his apartment. 

Slamming the door. 

Humiliation weighed over his shoulders as he hung his head low, running his fingers through his sandy blonde hair with frustration. It wasn’t supposed to end up this way. Not the way he wanted it to. Taking a deep sigh, he lets go of all of his tears letting them roll down from his cheeks. Sniffling and crying alone in his dark room. But just as wanted to just curl up in bed and cry ‘till exhaustion, he heard a knock from his apartment door. 

Wiping away his tears and snot, he stood up bravely and walked towards the door. It’s probably his sister, wanting to yell or lecture him about…literally anything, really. Nothing’s good enough for her or their parents. He sighs and opens the door with no hesitation without checking who it was. 

“Coming back for mo-.”

Oh, it wasn’t his sister. 

Her name rolled off his tongue easily like he was dying to say her name for months. She looked at him curiously as she stood there with an awkward thin smile. “I bumped into Lana and…she looks pretty pissed. Did I come at the wrong time?” she asked, pointing towards the apartment hallway. He quickly shook his head.

“N-no! Not at all. We just had an argument- you know how it is.” 

It has been…8 months and 2 weeks since he broke up with her (yes he has been counting) and 2 months since he last saw her. Their breakup was hard for him and sometimes Billy believed that their breakup was the one that caused his downward spiral. He had known her since they were in university, she was his friend before he slowly developed feelings for her. His train of thoughts were snapped away by her gasp. “What happened to your hand?”

He quickly hides it away behind his back.

“N-nothing! By the way, What’re you doing here?” He asked, not wanting to tell her the truth. What will she think of him? He can’t just dump his troubles into her. 

“I know this is silly, but I forgot to take some of my stuff,” she sighed in defeat, clearly letting him brush away the topic of his hand. Billy knew what she left and he didn’t even bother to tell her since he..well..just wanted her to maybe stop by or just kind of let it stay in his apartment to remember something of her. A piece of her, some sort.

“Yeah? What did you left?” He asked, acting dumb. 

“Some books and my brown watch. Have you seen them?”

“No, not at all. Come in.”

Three years ago. 

Laughter filled the apartment floor as his pale cream couch was being moved from the first floor to the third floor. He was at the bottom end while his sweetheart was trying to pull the couch up. “It’s getting heavy, love!” He teased as he tried so hard not to laugh seeing them fail over and over again to move their couch up to their apartment. 

What’s now his apartment, used to be their apartment. 

“Hold on! Oh dear Lord-,” she cackled as she took a step back up the stairs, lifting up the other edge of the couch. 

“Alright, now push!” She ordered as they finally succeeded to drag and carry the couch unison. It took them a while to finally make the couch fit through the doorway, but they managed. Back then, their apartment was still empty. No mess or dirty clothes scattering around the floor. It still smelled like paint. “Phew!” She said before crashing onto the couch. Billy follows along, putting his arm around her, letting her lean onto him. 

“Tired, sweetheart?” He teased.

“Terribly.” 

“Gosh I think the last time you were this tired was two nights ago when I fuc-,”

“Ew, no ew stop-,” she says with a giggle trying to get away from him but he won’t budge.

“And you told me to keep going! ‘Ah harder Billy! Harde-,”

“You are so disgusting!” She exclaimed as she covered his mouth with her palm, but he kept teasing her with his stupid dirty jokes. “Really? The last time you told me that was when I gave you backs-,”

“You are so infuriating!”

The only thing to make him shut up was tickles and her plan worked. When her fingers started to wiggle on his stomach, he burst out laughing like a mad man. “Stop! Stop!” He begged her. After one last tickle, she pulled away with a satisfied grin. “You’ll be the death of me, woman.” Billy placed his arm back around her shoulders and gave her a sweet peck on her lips. “I shall be,” she replied cockily, booping his nose. He smiled at her as he admired her features that he loved more than anything. 

He didn’t know he was able to love someone this much. 

“Can’t believe we have this place to ourselves,” he said softly to her, brushing a hair away from her face. She smiled back, “Can’t believe I’m doing this with you.” They both shared a sweet kiss where no one could disturb them or interrupt them. Ever.

“I uh…I applied for the military,” he informed her as they pulled away from their kiss. “Yeah? That’s amazing..,” she said supportively, brushing his hair with her gentle fingers. “Yeah..I wanted to try, y’know? Seeing Lana on field…I  want to be like her y’know? Brave…tough…,” he listed. 

“But you are.”

Her words made him scoff. 

“You’re only saying that ‘cause I’m your boyfriend. It’s biassed.”

“It’s still an opinion,” she said gently, still brushing his hair. Seeking her comfort, he leaned his head on her shoulder. “You think I can do this?” He asked with a hint of insecurity in his voice. “Of course you can,” she reassured him, giving him a gentle kiss on his head. 

Present day

They ramage through his apartment trying to collect all of her stuff. Piece by piece they collect the stuff she left in his apartment. “Alright we have the books…wuthering heights, pride and prejudice, little women, yada yada yada, and all I need is my brown watch. And it’s nowhere to be found- you sure you haven’t seen it anywhere?” She walked towards his gaming chair and sat on the pillowed chair while he sat on the cream coloured couch. 

Normally, he won’t let anyone sit there. Even Becky, or Lana. She was the only one he trusted to touch his possessions. He smiles as he listens to her babbling and talking. He hates to admit it, but he missed it. 

“Nope, not at all,” he lied. 

Sighing in defeat, she starts rocking the chair as she looks around the room they’re in. “How you’ve been, by the way?” Billy shrugs at her question, acting all casual even if his life was basically crumbling down. No job, shitty friends, commit a minor crime, his sister, parents, even current girlfriend hates him. “Just fine, really.” 

His answer made her smirk. “Well your hand says otherwise,” she says. Her witty answer made him chuckle. “What can I say? I’m a busy man.” He always liked how easy it is to talk to her. “What about you? You doin’ alright?” He asks, his tone gentle and eager to know if she’s been alright. 

“Well, yeah I’m alright. Ups and downs here and there, y’know?”

“Compared to me, you look like you’re doing amazing,” he compliments her, leaning in to take a good look at her even if they’re a little bit away from each other.

His compliment made her chuckle. 

It always does. 

“Thanks..,” she replies, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“I’m serious though..you look amazing.” His tone genuine and full of meaning into it. 

She looked at him for a moment, trying to read him before nodding. 

“Well you look like you need a haircut and a shave.”

Her comment made him laugh. Genuinely laugh. It’s been awhile since he felt that much comfort in him. 

After a while, their laughter died down and a comfortable silence swept the room. “You seeing anyone?” she asked. He nodded, “Yeah, but it’s a bunch of crap. Her name’s Rebecca and I haven’t heard from her since last week.” She gave him a thin smile, both of them knowing that they don’t want to discuss that topic further. “And you?” 

“Been on a date or two but none of them worked out,” she shrugs. He nodded again, a little bit glad to hear that. “You happy with your new book?”

“You’ve read it?” She asks with a chuckle. “Well, I saw it in a book store last week and it looks pretty cool, I might have to buy a copy after this,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I mean sure I like how it is,” she says. But he saw how she pursues her lips with a pregnant pause coming from her. “But I feel like it’s true to what I set out to do. So I’m happy with that.”

“I swear, You’re your own worst critic, I’m sure it’s amazing. Even that paper you wrote on synaptic behavioral routines made me cry.” 

“Yeah, but everything makes you cry.”

“Everything you make makes me cry.”

A sense of familiarity washes between them. How easy it was to just talk like normal people would. Alice looked into his eyes for a moment before darting away and spots his injured knuckles once more. 

“No but seriously though, what happened?” She asks, pointing at his hand hesitantly. He looked down and felt heat coming up to his cheeks.

“I uh…it was an accident.” “What accident?”

“An accident that involved me and some glass shards.”

“How the hell did that happen?”

Why is she asking me all this shit?

“You don’t want to know.”

“I would love to know, actually.”

He looked at her for a while to sense any sort of hesitation in her words but the only thing he could find in her eyes was determination. It intimidates him. She could scoop anything from the bottom pits of his heart. 

“For fuck’s sake, Ismashedawindowatabutchersh-“

“What?!” 

“It was a fucking protest-“

“—What protest, Billy?! All I see is that you’re now doing property damage-,”

“—Am not!—”

“—Then what was that for? Why on earth would you smash a butcher shop’s window?!” 

Billy was silent.

Why did he do it?

“I..”

Did he actually believe all that bullshit? Or was he just tagging along with his buddies? To be…accepted?

“Everything I do is never enough for you, is it?”

His words created this thick tension in the room. Her brows crinkled as she took his word as an offense. “Why would you say that?” She asks, her voice cracking. “Because it’s the truth-.”

“No it isn’t,” she said, stern and true. “I always felt like you wished I could just be a happy, light. ‘everything’s great’, bouncy girlfriend who always puts a smile whenever you come home either happy or angry and I’m sorry but I can’t do that, I still have feelings too-.”

Billy winces at her words and shakes his head, “No I didn’t want that.”

“You avoid me and shut me out whenever I point out something wrong about you, or us- even when we argue you never wanted to listen!—“

“—No I don’t!—”

“—It’s like as if you can’t handle real emotions, Billy—,”

“—They are real emotions, how do you—,”

“—What? Say it! Am I really that scary, Billy? Say it- How do I know what?!” 

Silence hung in the air once more. They were both seeing red and they…she...he…realized how this argument was going nowhere. Billy saw how her gaze shifted, how her brow relaxed and her eyes slowly softening. Her once angry demeanour changed into what is now left with regret and embarrassment. Rubbing her arm, avoiding his gaze. God, did he really messed up this bad?

“I was gonna marry you, y’know?” 

He didn’t even realize that he said those words out loud, avoiding her gaze as his head hangs low once more. Not realizing how her eyes softened, looking at the man that she once loved and believed was the love of her life. Maybe he is still the one she loves- but he sees that as wishful thinking. 

“I’m sorry that came out of nowhere-,”

“—Billy, It’s okay-,”

“—But I mean it though, I…really want to marry you. Back then, after I’m finally in the military or something- but turns out none of that shit worked out, so…,” he says running his hands through his hair once again. His sentence hung in the air as he shut his mouth from talking any further. 

Billy’s birthday, last year. 

“You’re so infuriating..,” she giggled lowly as she laid on his bed, in his arms, tangled in bedsheets as the moon shone bright from the window. “Me? Infuriating? Is that a proper way to say to your birthday boy tonight?” Billy teasingly replied, leaning his head to hers letting his forehead rest on hers. 

She giggles again shifting her whole body close to him as she clutches the blankets close to her chest to keep her warm. “Jeez sorry, it’s not my fault that you keep giving bad activity ideas for your birthday. Like, seriously? Skydiving? You know I hate heights, you arse!” She slaps his chest, earning a cackle from him. “It was just a suggestion, love that’s all…,” Billy grunts as he cuddles her tightly. 

“Ugh you’re squishing me..,” she complained.

“Stop whining..,” he replied, giving her a sweet kiss on the neck. “It’s still my birthday tonight, I can hug you as tight as I can..,” he murmured sleepily. Alice chuckles and slightly shifts, facing up to him. “No but seriously though, what do you want to do tomorrow?” she seriously asked. 

“I don’t know, really…probably taking you out and the lads up for a few pints. Just the usual, love,” he said, rubbing her arm. “Just wanna spend some time with the people I love.” Giving her a sweet peck on the lips.

“Yeah? You gon’ give your mum and da a visit then?”

Billy groaned as he nuzzled his face on the crook of her neck. “Knew you’d say that.”

“Oh c’mon, love…it’s been a half a year since you saw them. One visit won’t hurt…,” she said gently, running her fingers through his hair. “Yeah one visit will end up my da making fun of me and seeing my mum’s disappointment up close,” Billy sarcastically chuckled. “I won’t let them,” she whispered closely to his ear. 

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Her response earned her a smile out of him. “What’d I do without you, sweetheart?” He asked sultry before he started to kiss her jaw…down to her neck as his big hands snaked her waist, holding her gently. “I think you’d do just fine,” she answered with a sensual sigh. Billy smiled, nuzzling her cheek with his nose before capturing her lips with his. 

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him back with a low hum, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as they explored each other's mouths. Billy took his time as he slipped his boxers down and placed them somewhere in the bed. “Mm…y’know I love you right?” He asked in between kisses as he pinned her down to bed, hovering over her. “I know,” she said. His kisses trailed down from her lips, her jaw, her neck, down to her chest. Gently squeezing and caressing one of her breast while his mouth nipped and sucked the other carefully. He’d then squeeze one to make her nipples perk so he could kiss it and suck it better, leaving wet trails down to her tummy and finally finding his treasure.

Gently spreading her legs, he could see that her white cotton panties had already left a dark wet patch on it. A smile tugging at his lips and he gently nuzzled his nose on her clothed sex. “Already all wet for me, babe?” He asked, placing a sweet kiss onto it before pulling down her panties in one swift motion as if he’d done this a thousand times already.

“C’mon…where’s my sweet darling..ah there she is…,” he muttered to himself. Without a warning he kitten licked her whole sex making her gasp in pleasure. Smirking smugly up at her, he continued to tease and lick her pussy before managing to eat her out properly. Hungrily munching on her like a starved man. He rubbed her clit gently in a circle motion as he stretched her hole with his tongue, fucking her with it. 

This motion made her squirm and gasp, her brows crinkling feeling the intense pleasure that she couldn’t get enough of even if he’d done this to her more than she could count. “M gonna put a finger in, yeah?” His voice said in a reassuring and gentle tone. She nodded with no hesitation and just as she knew it, she felt his finger slipping into her. One finger then became two fingers, slipping in and out of her dripping hole as he licked her clit making her cry in pleasure. 

He took his time to help her find pleasure. He could die between her legs and he’d be happy. He groaned in delight as he licked all of her juices when his fingers pulled out of her weeping hole. He couldn’t get enough of her as he licked off her juices before he had to pull away and looked up to her. 

“W-wha- why did you stopped?” she asked. He hovers over her once more, “Need you inside of me.” Needily nuzzling his nose to her neck, sucking onto her. He then felt his body shift as now he has is back on the bed as she sits on top of him like a queen on her throne. Straddling him, he could see all of her. Caressing her sides, he saw how she looks down and groped the base of his shaft, giving it a few strokes. 

“You okay with this?” She asked.

“Mmhm…y-yeah- fuck yeah,” he couldn’t even speak properly, blinded with pleasure.

Then he felt her lining up their sexes, his cock leaking with pre-cum as she teasingly rubs the outside lining of her pussy with it. “Don’t tease-fuck!” Before he could even finish his sentence, she slips his cock in making both of them gasp in unison. “F-fuck, Billy…,” she moaned, adjusting to him. She loved how he felt inside her. Not too overwhelmingly big or small, to her it’s the right size and girth. 

“You’re made for me,” he grunted as he needily thrust up begging for any movement or friction. Billy saw how she looked at him, eyes full of lust and love as she started to move up and down and rocking him as they adjust to their pleasure.

“Billy?” she called out to him as she thrust into him, her body full of sweat. “Y-yeah?” Holding her hips with his big calloused hands. “Wake up.”

“W-what?”

“I said wake up.”

Present day, Billy’s birthday. 

The sun started to rise, but only tiny streaks of sun rays managed to peek through the blinds. Billy opened his eyes, finding his room empty, finding his bed empty. 

Fuck, he just had another wet dream of her.

He looked down, finding a dark wet spot on his pants. Of course he did. His phone kept buzzing beside his bed, probably some ‘happy birthday’ notifications from his mum, dad, and sister. Becky didn’t even bother to send him a ‘i’m leaving you’ text. Ghosted and gave up on him. 

Like the others do. 

He sighs, getting up from bed and throws a shirt on himself and changes his shorts before finally picking up his phone. Then he saw it. A notification with her name on it. It’s been months since he last saw a notification from her. What is she going to say? Should he open it now? Maybe later- oh fuck it!

Hi Billy how you’ve been? I just want to say happy birthday here and hope you have a great birthday this year🎂 Sorry for the other day, I really didn’t mean a lot of those things, just wanted to see how you’ve been.

I know it’s been 10 months since we broke up and I know you probably don’t want me in your life again but I really just want to say that I wish you nothing but the best things in life. We’ve gone through a long way, we grew up together and all that shit and I just can’t act as if you don’t exist in my life. You always do in some way and I hope that’s okay. 

Have a great birthday Bil.

That text was the last straw for him. He looked around his no-good apartment, in the back of his mind he remembered everything he’d shared with her in every corner of this apartment. It drives him insane how he can’t have that now. But God he’d take it all back and do better for her. Reading her text, knowing how much of a shitty person he is, and she could’ve ghosted him and never talk to him ever again yet she decided to acknowledge him as a person. Not wanting to cut him out of her life, even he himself wouldn’t do the same thing if he was her. It drove him off. 

He hates the way he projects himself. But it is how he is.He hates everything in his life. It’s insufferable and suffocating in his own flat. He didn’t ask to live like this, but he knew the only person he could blame was him. 

Not his family, 

Not his friends, 

And definitely not her. 

He couldn’t stay in his place any longer but as he was about to just grab his stuff and leave the place, there was a heavy knocking on his apartment door.

-

Life went on for a while that summer. He jogged to his car and placed his phone on the phone holder. He opens his phone, checking if he has any texts to answer before he starts driving. He sighs as he spots her name again when he opens his messaging app. He has read her text but he hasn’t replied to her. Opening her chatbox, he realized that there were also a few things he’d like to say to her. Tapping his heel and his leg bouncing anxiously, he contemplates whether or not he should reply to her or leave it be. 

“Fuck it,” he muttered. 

Pressing down the voice message icon, he starts to speak,

“Hey uh…hey love, thanks for the uhm message, I appreciated it r- fuck why do I sound so nervous?” Billy presses the stop button and deletes it. He clears his throat, “Hey uh, I got the birthday message, I really appreciated it, ta. I’ve been doing better…thanks for asking.” He said as he starts to drive his car. 

“Listen, I…I’ve been sittin’ and thinkin’ about all the things I wanted to apologize to you. All the shit and…pain we caused each other and everything I put on you, like how you think I needed you to be or needed you to say, and I’m sorry for that..really. I think I’m just doin’ that because I want to be better for you,  even until now.  And you know what, you helped make the best versions of me. We grew up together and there’ll be a piece of you in me too, always. Whatever we are in the future, and wherever you are in the world I just want you to know that I’ll always look for you and…I…,” he paused. 

I love you and I’ve never stopped loving you. 

“...I hope you have a great day too. Bye.”

Taking all of his courage, he presses the send button. 

Letting out a big sigh, he leans back onto his seat and tries to drive peacefully. 

Maybe a gum will help him calm down. 

A year ago. 

Billy remembered it like it was yesterday. It was late at night and Billy was watching something off the old Telly. He had a terrible day. After he failed to get into the military, he tried applying for high end jobs but it didn’t work out. Did another interview today and he just knew he’s gonna flunk it. The next thing he knows he’ll get an email saying that they’re sorry and all that bullshit. He sighed, leaning his head back on the couch. 

“Billy?” She called out from the doorway. 

“Hm?”

“How was the interview?” 

“Horrible,” he grunted. 

“You don’t know that-,”

“-They laughed at me,” he snapped his head towards her to the point it sets her off. “I-I didn’t kno-,” “Of course you don’t.” He cuts her off once again before getting up from his couch, brushing her off as he passed through her. “Fine,” she muttered and went to the bedroom. “Can you just be supportive for once?” Billy snapped again as he threw his beer bottle to the trash bin. “Just for once, be supportive of me?” He emphasized, with a hint of sarcasm, bitterness and frustration. “Supportive? Isn’t that what I’ve been doing all these years, Billy?” She replied, taking his words to an offence. 

“Oh really? Well I don’t think you’ve been supporting me, more like nagging at everything I do!”

“Criticising isn’t nagging, Billy!” 

“You call that criticising? Critics are supposed to help me be better not bringing me down!”

“I wasn’t bringing you down, Billy! I was just saying the truth! Your CV was weak you didn’t put your best qualities that should’ve been the key point-,”

“--Just stop! Stop it, you’re such a know it all, aren’t you?--”

“--Me? Ha! I’m not the one who can’t accept criticism! Who can’t accept real emotions–”

“--Oh fuck you! Atleast I’m not the one who got rejected by 10 publishers just because the book you’re writing is complete rubbish!”

Her eyes widened. As much as they like to argue, Billy will never dare to say anything about her work- most of all, her book. Billy’s rage died down as he realized what he just said. He crossed the line. He fucked up. He saw how her lips slightly trembled as she wanted to speak. 

She nodded as tears built up in her eyes. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?-”

“--No, fuck- babe I didn’t mean that I’m sorry–,”

“--No, it’s fine–,”

He gently walked towards her and tried to keep her from going away from him. Trapping her in a gentle embrace. “--No, it’s not fine…I’m sorry..I didn’t mean any of that…I messed up I’m sorry,” he apologized over and over again. Placing gentle kisses onto her head. His heart sank when he heard her sniffles. Gently stroking her hair, he murmured his apology to her showering her with kisses to make it all better. “Why are we like this?” She asked in a small tone. “Like what?”

“We keep hurting each other.”

Billy’s thoughts were suddenly snapped when a notification enters his phone 

Lana: Mate, I’m with Becky. She came to mine looking for you. Call me NOW. 

Becky? Why did she came to Lana looking for him?

That doesn’t makes any sense. 

Billy brushed it off and probably thought that Becky’s there to call him off or take her stuff from his flat or something. So he clicks on Lana’s contact number and dials her after constantly ignoring her. 

“Billy!”

“Can you put Becky on?” “Where are ya? Ya sound like you’re drivin’,”

“Yeah was drivin’ to meet my mates, why? Let me speak to Becky.”

“What mates? Anyone I know?”

“Just mates, Lana.” Billy says as he takes a turn on the road. “Why, what’s going off?”

“Listen, Billy I’m not with Becky- I just needed you to call me.” Billy furrowed his brows as he listened to his sister speak on the phone. 

“What?- What do you mean you’re not with Becky?- What do you mean- what- why?”

“I need to talk to ya. You’ve not been answering my calls. You’ve not been about-wh-where are you driving to?

Suddenly his car bumped into some people who were doing some protests. Flipping him off for bumping into them. “Billy? Billy- Where exactly are you?” Lana asks again. Billy flips a protestor on his side bumping into his car. “Farringdon Tube Station,” he answered Lana, annoyed. 

“Listen, Billy, it’s important, what are you doing at Farringdon Station?”

“I was meant to meet the lads but they’re not here. Outside the tube he said, but I can’t see them. Just a load of lefty wankers.”

“Billy, why did you drive, was that your idea?”

“Nah, my mates asked me to give some of the lads a lift down. Must be some kind of joke.” 

Billy looked around not finding any signs of those so called lads. Shit, he got set up. A joke, like people would see him as. Fuck. 

“Yeah they’ve set me up, haven’t they? Havin’ a laugh, aren’t they? Knobheads,” he says with a disappointed demeanor that even Lana could detect. 

“Billy, these new mates of yours, they’re not who you think they are.”

“Lana, what you on about?”

“Nick. Nick Roberts, he’s a…he’s a terrorist. One of the Crusaders that killed Nut.”

In a flash, he finds himself in the middle of Cranstead Fields with a fucking bomb inside of his car. He could hear his heart beating rapidly, his ears ringing as it mutes everyone and everything around him. From many different scenarios in his head, Billy didn’t think he’d die like this. Trapped in a car in the middle of Cranstead Fields with a ticking bomb that’s about to go off at any minute by now. His breath ragged and unstable as he kept an eye on the timer. Swallowing a lump on his throat, he looked up to his rearview mirror. “Oh no..,” he pants to himself. Scared to death, really. He wondered if he’s ever going to survive this. Maybe he should’ve chosen better shit in his life and maybe he won’t get blown off by a fucking bomb latched onto those terrorists. If only he chose better friends, listened to his sister, he’d be at home patching things up. If he was any good maybe he’d be watching some old telly show with her. 

Fuck, he didn’t even said goodbye. 

He hasn't told his mum and dad how sorry he was for being a mop, and for everything he did. 

“Billy! I’m here! Alright it’s gonna be fine! Just stay really still for me, I'm gonna have a look around the car.”,“Yeah you gotta do something about this,” he pants, glancing at the timer that’s still ticking. “About three minutes, yeah?” Three minutes and twenty five seconds. Twenty four, twenty three..shit! He hasn't read her new book. Lana tried to take a look at the bomb as well through the window with a worried and nervous expression. But when Billy faced her again, she tried to put on a brave face for her brother. “Okay stay still, I’m gonna go have a look- Don’t touch anything, I’m just gonna check the car okay?”

“Y-yeah, yeah…just-just hurry!”

11 months ago.

Billy leaned onto the hood of his car as the night breeze swept through him. One hand on his jacket pocket, and the other holding a fag as he took a drag out of it letting out a puff of smoke into the air. Looking down at his phone, he saw that it’s 7:00 pm sharp. She should be home from work by now. He sighs, flicking the cigarette down to the ground before stubbing it as he walks to the building. After going through security, he saw his sweetheart talking to the receptionist at the lobby as she had her bag on her shoulder. After finishing her chat with the receptionist she turned around and spotted him immediately. A smile plastered on her face. 

“Heya Billy…,” she greeted with a smile, hugging him with her arms around his neck. He kisses her cheek and neck intimately. “Hiya, love.” As they pull away from the hug, he has his arm around her waist leading her out of the building. “How’s work?” He asked as they walked towards his car together. “Same old, same old,” she shrugged. 

“And…how’s your book going?” His question made her giggle and grins in excitement. “I just got an email that..they’re actually going to publish my book!” She cheers. “Told ya they’d love it,” he said to her smugly, giving her a kiss on the head. “I was so scared and nervous though…but I guess I just needed to take a deep breath with it all,” she said, opening the passenger door. “Yeah, you actually do need to do that,” he said with a pregnant pause. He kept his eye on her as she fastened her seatbelt. 

“Hey, babe?”

“Hm?”

He gently strokes her hair. “Look, I just wanted to say sorry about that night. I was a big dick to you that night, didn’t know what came over me…,” he said carefully to her. “It’s fine–,”

“Don’t say that it’s fine, bub. It’s not. It was stupid and fucked up for me to say about your book. Those 10 publishers who rejected your book were also stupid. I think everything you write is amazing. Can’t wait for the next one.” He kissed the back of her hand, his eyes not leaving hers for a second. “You forgive me?” He asked. Billy saw a smile creeping on her face, “I’ll forgive you. If you promise you’d buy a copy of my book everytime I release one.” 

“Easy, I’d buy Five.”

“Five, huh? I’ll keep your promise, Washington.”

He chuckled, giving a kiss on her temple. 

“Promise, love.”

Present day, Cranstead Fields. 

What felt like an eternity of Lana checking the bloody car, he gripped his steering wheel while glancing at the timer once more. Two minutes and fifty three seconds. Fifty two…fifty one…his heartbeat was banging like a drum inside of his chest. Breathing in, breathing out. Lana looked at the timer and the bomb through the passenger seat’s window, trying to find a solution and just..anything! To turn that stupid bomb off. But her expression wasn’t that convincing. It scared him. 

“How bad is it?” He had to ask Lana. 

Lana could only look back at him with a nervous smile. “It’s fine,” she lied. 

“I can tell when you’re lying, man! So how bad is it?!” He asked again. 

He kept screaming his sister’s name as she went away for awhile- but she can’t just  leave him, he needed his sister. Screaming out Lana’s name like a mad man, his face gone red as he cried inside his car. He does not want to die. He swore it felt like hours inside that stupid car. From the rearview mirror he saw Lana running back to him. “Billy! Listen to me! LISTEN TO ME! LOOK AT ME, YEAH? The timer means nothing! They put it there as a trick so you’ll open the door–,”

“--please–,”

“--Can you hear me?!”

“...please,” he begged again.

“Don’t touch it! Stay still! It’s gonna be fine.”

“Oh fuck,” His head hangs low as he realized that there’s no way out of this situation. 

“Listen to me, I’m your sister, okay?!”

She’s his sister.

“You need to trust me, I’m gonna go and get some stuff–,”

“--Lana please, don’t go–,”

“--You gotta trust me! It’s gonna be fine.”

He swallowed a lump in his throat as he nodded. Okay. It’s gonna be fine. It is. It is. 

He resisted the temptation and fear of opening the door. But when the timer ran out, it freaked him out. But everything was silent, no explosion or anything going off. There he realized that Lana was right. It was a trick. Okay- fuck. He has to stay focused right now. Watching from the rearview mirror once more, he saw Lana’s team hurriedly bringing their tools. 

“Alright Billy, we’re gonna just take off the rear window so you could crawl out, yeah? Stay. Still,” Lana reminded him calmly. She takes a glance at the bomb once more, giving him a thin reassuring smile. “See? It’s gonna be fine. Don’t touch anything.” Billy nodded at her words even if he was internally screaming. Slowly, he saw how her team plucked out his rear window. “Okay Billy, just slowly crawl right out. We got you,” Hass says, reaching out his arms to pull Billy out. Billy nodded and carefully crawled from the front seat, avoiding the shift gear or anything really! Not wanting to trigger the bomb. As he reached the backseat, the timer of the bomb went on again. 

“Shit!” Billy screamed, hastily scrambling out of the car. He lets his sister and Hass pull him out taking his arms. “Get me out of here!” He screamed as they all grunted, pulling him out of the car. Billy landed on the ground with a thud and the team ran from the car as the timer counted down from five.

“Fuck, ma ankle!” Billy winced as he rubbed his ankle that got twisted after he got out from the car to the ground. 

Four…

“Billy!” Lana screamed from afar. 

Three…

“Shit shit shit shit.”

Two…

Billy tried to walk as fast as he could, away from the car. 

One. 

-

Billy didn’t explode in the car, but his ankle got twisted and his leg was burned from the sparks of the explosion. Laying down on the hospital bed after consulting with medical staff in the ER, Lana accompanied him throughout the day. Not leaving his side. Even his parents came to check up on him. His mum was crying, thinking that he died or something. It made his heart warm by the fact that he had a second chance with his family. His dad hugged him for the first time in years which was also surprising. But, he liked that surprise. 

“Miss, you’re not supposed to go in there-,” he heard one of the nurses said from outside. What kind of commotion is happeni-.

And there she was. 

Panting like as if she was just running a marathon, she stood there by the ER doorway. Then she saw him. “Billy!” she sighs in relief before instantly running to him. Billy couldn’t believe it as they both embraced each other. She hugs his head close to her chest, her heart beating rapidly. 

“H-how did you-,”

“--Lana called me,” she says with a relieved smile, running her delicate fingers through his hair. Billy turns to look at Lana and saw Lana sipping her coffee with a mischievous smile that says; ‘Thank me later’ all over her face. He gave his sister a nod before turning back up to her. 

“Are you okay?” She aks, concerningly. “Never better, love.”

He was done with being afraid. Done being a coward. 

In her embrace, he pecks her lips. 

Even though she was quite surprised, he earned nothing but a smile from his sweetheart. 

“I’d say yes, y’know?”

“About what?”

“If you still want to marry me.” 

Billy smiles to her. Guess he gotta save up then.

A/N: I SWEARRRR this fic took me so long to complete cuz it’s so overwhelming to write especially the Cranstead Fields scene- I had to go back and forth on youtube to keep the dialogues and description right꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱. But anw, thank you so much for reading until the end! I hope you guys enjoyed it and I still had so much fun writing this fic. I hope this fic makes sense, cuz I really wanted to keep it as accurate as possible with ‘Trigger Point’ in the first place(゜▽゜;). I’m up for requests for any Ewan characters and if you want me to write something in the future or you have ANY fic ideas, don’t hesitate to hmu! My inbox is open :D THANK YOUU!!! 

P.S, I would like to give a little shoutout to @/targaryenrealnessdarling and the Cranstead Fields scene was also inspired by their Billy Washington series fic called “It’s Who We Have” so please check their blog as well they wrote so many amazing fics. 

That’s all! Love, Alice!ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

Tags🎀: @ladytargg @anukulee @michaelsgavey @whencokewascasual @fan-goddess

[humanpurposes]

I would love to suggest more than request this: 020. jamming out to a christmas song, and inflicting the pain of holiday songs on someone else

With Billy Washington. Like post events of TP and he’s healing. Happy even. Boy deserves some light.

Thank you for the request! This turned out quite bittersweet I think, I was listening to Phoebe Bridger's Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas and it sort of flowed from there 🌫️

A Sad Christmas Song

Billy Washington x reader

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of trauma, depression, yk the drill with Billy Wash

A/n: Not as sad as it sounds, I promise :)

Main Masterlist // Christmas Masterlist

A gentle Christmas song drifts through the speaker on the coffee table. You’re on the sofa sipping from a mug of tea just so you have something to do. Billy texted you half an hour ago to say he was on the way home. You’re waiting for the familiar sound of his key unlocking the door.

You’re about to check your phones when it comes. You turn towards the door as Billy walks in wrapped up in a black jacket over his suit and the red beanie you’d bought for him after he complained that the weather was getting too cold. He looks at you across the room. He’s frowning.

“Oh, Billy,” you say.

He can’t even say how the interview went, he just presses his lips together and unzips his jacket with his head hanging. 

You’ve been watching this unfold for months. He’s sent out ten job applications since Halloween and for the most part he’s heard nothing back but rejection emails, that is if they bother to say anything at all. Where’s the dignity in being ghosted by a corporation? But this was the one place that didn’t shut him down, the first place that had given him an interview. He had been nervous when he left this morning, but he wanted it, really wanted it. 

Back in September, you’d noticed a new barista working in the cafe opposite your office building. He was tall, with overgrown dirty blond hair, with these beautiful wide eyes and a coy little smile every time he took your order. The coffee was terrible, bless him, but he was cute enough that you kept coming back.

You’d talk over the counter when it was quiet sometimes. His name was Billy, originally from Nottingham, which you’d guessed by the midlands accent, but he’d moved to London with his family when he was a teenager. Working in a cafe had never been a career goal for him.

“So what is?” you had asked.

Billy looked utterly lost, but he tried to laugh it off. “I’m still figuring that out.”

There was a lot he was figuring out. He was in therapy after a close encounter with a bomb that had been planted in his own car. “My fault,” he said. He’d gotten himself involved with something he shouldn’t have that summer. Naturally you were skeptical. It was hard for him to talk about it, you could tell, and the last thing you wanted to do was push him. He said he was leaving that behind him, that talking through it with the therapist was helping, and his sister was offering some much needed perspective.

Then there was the ex-girlfriend; he didn’t want to tell you her name which you were sort of thankful for. “My fault again.” He seemed to think a lot of things were his fault. Things had been tough after the bomb scare. It was months before he could get himself into a car, and every time he did he would have to check the glove box. He woke up with nightmares most nights, shaking, sweating, crying. Eventually it became too much for the ex-girlfriend to deal with and once she’d moved out he was struggling to cover his rent. He said he would have lost the place if his sister hadn’t helped him out with the payments. 

Time went on. Billy got better at making coffee– as long as it was americanos and iced lattes– and after dropping a few hints that went completely over his head you finally bit the bullet and asked him for a drink.

You’d been seeing each other for a month when your own contract was up on your flat. It felt a bit fast but you figured you had nothing to lose. Move in with me.

You’re both still finding your feet in this new place, a cramped little one bedroom flat north of King’s Cross. You’ve done your best to decorate it for Christmas, fairy lights, candles and a little Christmas tree in the window. There are all sorts of things you want to do, host a dinner party, finally learn to bake gingerbread and it comes with the excitement of it being your first Christmas with Billy. It’s just a shame the job hunting has been casting a shadow over the season, even though you can tell Billy’s trying not to let it get in the way.

He mutters something under his breath, hangs his jacket up and slips his shoes off, but is less forgiving to the suit jacket and his tie, tossing them over the arm of the sofa. He tugs at his shirt collar before tearing the top few buttons undone and ruffles his hair with one hand. 

“I just feel…” his voice is quiet and thick. He collapses on the sofa beside you, arm instinctively draping around your shoulders as you curl into him, running your hand over his stomach, over the soft fabric of his shirt. His body is more than warm, the heat kept in by his jacket. His aftershave has mostly disappeared, he smells like himself and you can’t get close enough to him.

“Feel what?” you ask.

“God, I feel so stupid.”

You angle your head to look at him, ear pressed against his chest, over his heart. “You’re not stupid, Billy.”

“I panicked though. They were asking all these questions and I was stuttering like an idiot.”

“You’re allowed to make mistakes, and you’ll get better with practice.”

“What if I don’t get better? What if I…”

It breaks your heart to see those blue eyes glistening with tears. 

You sit up properly, legs tucked under yourself. You take Billy’s face in your hands, his cheeks rough with golden stubble. And a sad Christmas song drifts through the speaker. 

You’ll never get used to how dark it gets in the winter. It’s not even five o’clock and it could be midnight outside. Coloured lights flash from the street, through the open curtains; Christmas lights; shop signs; traffic lights. The room flickers with golden lights from the tree, the candles on the side table. Billy’s face is bathed in warmth and shadows.

You kiss him delicately, letting your lips linger against his as you take a breath.

He pulls you onto his lap by your hips, wide hands stroking along the curve of your waist. 

“You’re doing better everyday, I see it, Bill.”

He nods his head unsurely, like he’s trying to convince himself it’s true. “I’m trying,”

“And that’s all you can do. Something will work out, you’ll see.”

Looking into his eyes still strikes your heart like electricity. They’re wide and pleading. He leans up to kiss you again, keeping you close to him with a hand in your hair. Your hands fall against his chest, fingertips settling at the opening of his shirt. It doesn’t feel close enough. You slip your hands underneath the fabric to feel his skin and the edge of his silver chain.

Then he starts to smile.

“What?” you ask, holding back a grin of your own. You love the way Billy smiles, the way his lips curl and his eyes light up. It’s imperfect and charming and so infectious.

The sad song has ended. An upbeat, synthy melody appears next on the playlist, a song you’ve loved for so many Christmases.

“I’m just happy,” he says, “and I’m sorry if I don’t seem it.”

Your heart sinks and lifts, lurching between aching and an overwhelming urge to take him into your arms and never ever let him go.

You take one of his hands and kiss his knuckles. “You don’t need to apologise to me.”

“Sorry– fuck,” you both giggle to each other. “No, but I know it’s hard to put up with me.”

“Billy, that’s not your fault.”

He settles his hand against your cheek, keeping his thumb at the corner of your lips. “There were times this year where I thought… I couldn’t picture myself being happy again. And I’m so glad that’s been proved wrong.”

No taglist, follow @ficsbygee and turn on post notifs for updates!

[anjelicawrites]

Which Ewan boi is more likely to cry from gettin some reallllllll good sloppy head??? Poly bois too ofc!

Definitely Billy T.! He's red faced and hyperventilates, he can barely keep his legs from folding as he reaches his tripping point, when his whines become cries that reverberate around you two and he cries and cries, control shattered, until he comes in your mouth, almost passing out.

Billy W. also! After he starts putting his life together after the almost car bomb explosion. He starts crying immediately: he can't believe you're on your knees for him, torturing him slowly, thoroughly, taking your time to slurp him down, lick him, kiss his heated flesh, until he's gone, blinded by the pleasure and his own tears, he falls in your arms.

Osferth too cries, and prays, babbling the words through hiccups and whines. He's laying on his back. His legs, kept open by your shoulders, tremble and jump with every slow, deep suck on his heated flesh. He grabs his hair, rakes his fingers down his face, the salt of his tears burns against the inflamed skin. He needs to come, he never wants to stop doing this for the rest of his life.

For Aemond is hearing your words of praise against his erection that undo him. You slur them while you lick and suck is cock, kiss his heavy stones, drunk on his taste as he weeps and keens, arching his back when you pin his hips on the bed. Through the tears he sees your face, your lips a hungry O around his member, your cheeks sucked in for his pleasure: he comes with a long moan, breathless. He can't move, can't think or dry his tears, he's floating in pleasure.

Michael would. Weirdly enough, not in the moment, but days after, when he's lonely and he's thinking about you with his hand in his trousers. The memory of your wicked tongue mingles with the sloppy strokes of his hand, your warmth, the stickiness of his honey mixes with the obscene amount of spit you let rain on his erection, to lube him for his pleasure. He calls your name with his face smushed against his pillow, the tears dried by the cheap cotton of the pillowcase as his hips piston violently, until he comes, remembering the way you sucked him until he begged you to stop.

[slaytheusurper]

⭑ Hiking reward ⭑

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Day 3/12 of Smuffmas! In nature & Deepthroating with Billy

12 days of Smuffmas Masterlist

Pairing: Billy Washington x Gf!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, teasing, making out, whiny Billy, blowjob, deepthroating, anal fingering, exhibitionism (no one's around)

Summary: Billy is not up for the hike his girlfriend desperately wants but he might just comply for a delicious reward.

Taglist smuffmas ‘24: @venmondiese

Any sunny day in England was to be appreciated, for it was not often that it was actually sunny and warm in summer. And so you spent the whole morning begging your boyfriend to go on a hike with you.

Billy wasn’t into exercise, nature or going out his comfortable flat in any situation, but the way his sweet and kind girlfriend was begging him to made his resolve crumble little by little. 

His flat was hot, the cheap fan he kept blasting day and night doing nothing to get the heat out. “We don’t even have to go far, the forest is only three miles from here. It’ll be nice, I promise.” Billy shook his head but seemed to give in a bit more. 

“It’s way too hot love, trust me, it won’t be nice.” You walked over to where he was sat on the couch, sipping his hot tea even though it was warm outside.

Setting your knee on each side of his lap, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Leaning in, your mouth near his ear. “If you go with me, just for a short hike, I promise you will not regret it.”

His breath shuddered while he listened to your words. “I’ll put on me sneakers then.” Billy simply said before he moved you off him. You laughed as he almost jogged to his closet, getting some dusty old pair of sneakers he hadn’t worn in ages. 

However as you had only walked past the entrance of the trail for about a couple of hundred metres, he already started to complain. “So can we turn back now or?” You gave him a shocked look.

“Billy we just got here, don’t tell me you’re already tired.” He shrugged and smiled. “We could be doing something way more active right now.” You rolled your eyes at him and kept walking, speeding up your pace just a little.

“That’s not the point, exercise that is. The point is to get some fresh air and enjoy being outside.” He tried his best to keep up with you but sweat was already dampening his face as well as his clothes.

“Couldn’t you have chosen a less hotter day? I'm sweating me balls off.” You laughed at his words, and pondered if he was right. No one else seemed to be out today, everyone locked up at home with their air-con or fan.

“Well at least no one’s around. Come on, just a bit further and we’ll go back, I promise. And maybe you’ll get your reward.” Billy seemed intrigued by that and finally shut up for a while. 

At least he had a nice view of you in your shorts and tanktop. He hadn’t even changed, still in his thin grey joggers and green t-shirt. After a while and about two miles in, you arrived to a split path. 

The one to the right was further in the forest and to a thicker area and the left was a quicker way back with a thinner treeline and bushes. You were already turning right when Billy spoke up. “No, no love please. Let’s just go back, I’m tired and sweaty.” He whined.

“If you follow me, I’ll show you why we’re turning right.” He seemed to give in and followed you anyway. As he walked next to you again, you grabbed his hand and strayed off the path, deeper into the forest until no one following the trail could see you.

“Why are we going here, is it even allowed?” You smiled at his words. “Don’t worry baby, just giving you your reward. But no one should see us.” His eyes widened at that and he had no time to answer before your lips crashed on his.

Even though he was a bit sweaty, he still tasted divine. Somehow he was even more addicting this way, especially with how whimpers left his lips in between your hungry kisses. He bit your lip in the way you loved, leaving you breathless. 

When you slid your tongue in his mouth, he moaned. It was always exciting to tease Billy, to pleasure him, watching him come undone with the simplest touches. Your boyfriend loved to be at your mercy. 

His tongue danced against yours, spit mingling in a sloppy, lustful kiss. You could already feel your arousal dampening your underwear and when Billy pressed you close to him, you could feel his very obvious erection against your thigh.

He whined when you pulled back but when you saw his hard bulge through his thin grey joggers, your mouth watered and you couldn’t resist. Your hand moved from his neck down to his chest, his breath stuck in his throat as he anticipated your next move.

Wanting to be kind to him for somewhat complying with your activity today, you palmed his hard cock through his joggers, sending a shiver down his spine. Knowing Billy would be loud, you chose a secluded spot so even if someone did pop out today, they wouldn’t hear you. 

You massaged his cock some more and watched as precum bled through his clothes. Having decided you teased him enough, you sank to your knees. “Fuck, yes baby. Can’t wait to feel your warm mouth around my cock.” 

You moaned against his erection as you kissed and mouthed at it through his clothes. Making him beg for more. Pulling down his joggers and underwear at the same time, his cock sprung free.

You took him in your hand and kissed the head of his beautiful cock, earning a hiss from him. “Please love, please.” He almost whimpered, so desprate for his pretty girlfriends mouth. You complied and started to eagerly suck his cock.

Drawing curses from him as you swallowed him further down. Your other hand moved to massage his balls, something you had noticed over the months of dating him, he loved. He was sensitive on his slit too and the spot where his sack and puckered hole met.

As you took him deeper and deeper, thats where your hand moved next. Billy almost buckled over but his hands helped steady him when they grabbed your head. You knew all his weak spots and christ did he love you for it.

Your nose hit the hairs on his pubic bone, tip all the way at the back of your throat. Your finger softly massaged the sensitive skin near his hole and for a moment he wondered if you would go further. 

After only two more seconds, you moved back for air, spit and precum running down your lips and chin. Billy admired you as you swiftly moved back to suck him in again. “Please baby, please make me cum.”

In the heat of the moment, you moved your tongue at the underside of his shaft and moved your finger fully in his hole. Billy loudly cried out at the sensation, begging and begging as you fingered his g-spot. “I’m gonna cum- gonna cum-” 

His final straw was when you moved back a bit, focused on his tip and licked his slit as fast as you could, trying to move your finger inside him in the same rhythm.

Billy screamed your name as he shot ropes of his cum in your mouth, almost falling to his knees with the way you hit his prostate over and over again.

You made sure his orgasm lasted as long as possible before he begged you to pull of, the sensitivity becoming too much for him. So you simply swallowed his cum and retreated your finger. His heavy breathing and soft curses still filled the air.

Then he manoeuvred you over to a nearby tree, your back softly hitting the bark before he kissed your neck feverishly. When he now got on his knees instead, you knew he couldn’t resist returning the favour.

[fan-goddess]

If it hasn’t already been requested for Kink-tober, may I please request Billy Washington - Edging/Denial. (But he has to come in the end, please. Can’t let baby boy suffer. )🔥🔥🙏🏻🙏🏻

Authors Note: Exactly my sweet boy needs to cum he’s been so good 🥺 this feels horribly done and I’m so sorry it’s taken so long! But for some reason my brain got left writing the ones that took me the hardest last so that’s why all these ones took so long! But at least after this IM DONE! 🥳

Warnings: Sub!Billy and Dom!reader, m oral, p in v sex, talk of self doubt, depression, bad relationship talk, lack of self worth, Billy is a self anxious, not sure how to exactly describe the whole thing really (if I miss any let me know!)

Taglist: @sofiyathecunt, @marvelgirl123, @sylasthegrim, @mochi-rose, @valeskafics, @humanpurposes, @watercolorskyy, @blue-serendipity, @omgbrcat @helaelaemond @anjelicawrites

Becky, throughout the entire train wreck Billy had defined as a relationship, had insisted that he needed to be the one on top at all times, whether he wanted to be or not. He had no idea why, but that was always what he was told he needed to do. What he had to do. What was expected of him.

So when Billy eventually managed to break up with her and begin dating you, it was much of a shock and a revelation to him when you allowed him to be the bottom for once whilst you rode him for the first time ever. He remembers afterwards laying there with his brain all fuzzy, honestly thinking he must’ve saw God standing in the corner of his bedroom.

Now, he insists with what he denies to be a pouty face, to be the one on the bottom nearly every time. And you, ever the willing partner, were all too happy to oblige by his playful almost bratty commands.

“Please baby! Please let me touch you!” Billy begs, practically humping the bed as he attempts to resist himself from touching you.

Your hands though continue to play with yourself as Billy watches, and it only serves to make you wetter and your actions more lewder.

“I told you baby, you’ve got to behave if you want me to let you fuck me! Don’t you wanna be my good boy?” You smirk, teasing him as you whine slightly and begin to bite your lower lip with your teeth.

He whines in agreement, and it all comes tumbling out, whines and cries included. “Yes yes yes please I really want to! Please ride me! I promise I’ll be good!”

How could you say no to that? His pure sobs of relief sending shivers of pleasure running down your spine. You use a vacant hand of yours to grab his cock, which stands fully erect and practically pulses in your hand, even weeping arousal straight into your palm. When you move to position him at your entrance, a sigh of pure relief comes from both your lips while Billy whines likes a bitch in heat beneath you.

Your head feels like it’s spinning as you begin to move your hips back and forth, chasing the delicious friction of his pubic hair on your clit, and the feeling of his cock that somehow manages to already press and abuse the rough little patch deep inside you.

“Such a good boy Billy…you’re such a good boy for me!” You whine, relishing in the delicious feeling of his hands now clutching tightly against the skin of your upper thigh. His unkempt nails digging deeper into your skin that’s sure to leave marks for morning you to deal with later.

His own murmurs of praise are muffled by his slurs of pleasure as his eyes role back and his hands leave even more marks in their wake from how they’re now gripping your flesh. It even begins to sting slightly, but it seems to only serve to make you more enamoured with the sweet boy whining between your glistening thighs.

You can even somehow feel Billy’s hardness throbbing inside of you. Yet when his eyes begin rolling back into his head once more and his hips spasming erratically, that’s when with a menacing grin you quickly hop off his aching dick, much to his horror, as he whines like a child being told no dessert after a gruelling dinner.

“I’m just making sure you behave baby!” You simply say, giggling when you see how he’s already practically crying with how desperately he wants you. It’s actually flattering really when you think about it.

To get Billy worked up again though, you lick a strip of his wet cock before moving to kiss his bite swollen lips deeply. And while he’s distracted, moaning at the taste of his own precum that smears across his lips, you quickly get back on his dick, and ride him like your life depends on it.

“Oh fuck! Shit! Baby please don’t stop! Fucking perfect! Fuck fuck fuck!” He whines. Noises of all kinds spilling from his lips as his hands go back to their stations at your hips. His fingertips leaving further marks in all new areas. Practically making you into his own little art canvas. Not that you mind of course. You’ll make sure to get him back for that later though. You can’t have him forgetting his place.

You feel the coil in your stomach tighten as Billy manages to hit that spot inside you he never realises he’s hitting, yet you make sure to vocalise how well he’s unknowingly doing by practically screaming his name and praises for all to hear. The neighbours be damned at that moment.

“So good Billy such a good boy for me! Always so good never want anyone else!” You scream, your head tilted all the way back as you feel your orgasm shooting it’s shot and your eyes rolling in the back of your head. You’re barely comprehensible as you feel Billy awkwardly jerking his hips to help you cum quicker, yet you make sure to scream your thanks as you feel your walls practically death grip Billy’s cock as you cum hard around him.

It’s a familiar addictive feeling, but even still. As your catching your breath and trying to calm your erratic heart, you realise there’s a feeling your missing. The warmth of Billy’s cum in your pussy.

Your eyes hazily look at Billy, who in turn looks back at you like a lovesick puppy, but you ignore the way it makes you smile as you realise you can still feel Billy’s hard cock inside you.

The poor boy didn’t cum.

“Why didn’t you cum?” You find yourself outright asking as you try to lift yourself up to look at him, though admittedly fail as you flail around slightly like a baby deer walking for the first time.

“You didn’t tell me too…” He murmurs, his eyes shy all of a sudden as they look somewhere in the distance away from you. Your own eyes widen in surprise, as to be honest, you had expected him to cum with you. But now that you think about it, Billy has told you how before in the past he always felt like he had to put in the extra effort to make himself feel like he was worth something. So it’s honestly so sad to you to realise he felt like he needed to hold back on himself now in an attempt to make you feel proud, and make himself feel better.

Your hand caresses his face gently, and even though all your energy feels drained, you still manage to somehow move to kiss Billy softly on the lips. Smiling even when you feel him kiss you back with equal underlying passion.

“Billy, baby…” You begin, pulling back slightly yet smiling when you see his small pout of annoyance. The sweet brat… “Never withhold on these sort of things cause you think you need too. I wanted to cum with you. I’m sorry you felt like you had to hold back baby…” You give him another peck on the lips before with a smile and annoyingly a few awkward huffs, position yourself between Billy’s legs. The two of which are amusingly enough very obviously wet and glistening from where your arousal had dripped and smeared onto them.

“I want you to cum this time baby. Don’t tell me when though, leave it a surprise for me…” You say, moving to take his throbbing length deep in your mouth before Billy could make a protest of any kind, and moaning around him when you feel Billy’s rough hand tightly quickly wrap itself tightly in your hair.

You can’t help but groan at the salty taste already steadily spreading on the surface of your tongue. The taste of Billy being such an addictive thing you swear you could easily eat nothing but him all day everyday if it wasn’t weird at all. Not that the two of you probably haven’t done weirder things though in the time the two of you have been going out.

You take your mouth off him for a moment, using one of your hands to stroke him steadily whilst you drunkenly praise, “So fucking good.” to an equally delirious Billy, before eagerly going back down on him. You slowly push him deeper down your throat, till you feel his scruffy pubic hairs scratching slightly against the tip of your nose. You must admit that you’re not the biggest fan of doing this with a male partner, but it’s all worth it to hear your lovers sweet high pitched moans from above you, especially when you swallow and gag around him and hear Billy practically screaming from the feeling. It almost amusing to begin to feel his length pulsing in time with his no doubt erratic heartbeat.

It’s not a surprise to you though that after barely even a minute after you began to suck off your lover, you can feel Billy’s fist in your hair tighten and his length throb significantly before he all of a sudden spills himself down your throat. Your small sounds of happiness smothered under Billy’s own long high pitched whine of pleasure. Again, neighbour’s be damned.

You take your mouth of him slowly as you swallow all you could in your mouth, and when you stare at his cock, which slowly begins to soften, you almost giggle at the sight of his cock twitching slightly as it goes down. As if it was trying to desperately tell you it had another load in it. But with how much you just had to swallow, you honestly doubt that.

“Good?” You smirk at Billy, humming gently as he moves to pull you up so he could place his head under your chin.

“Fucking perfect.” He says back, sounding tired already as he cuddles your body tightly. You respond just as enthusiastically, clutching him as you shuffle a little to make yourself more comfortable before shutting your eyes as your own wave of exhaustion hits you.

You shut your eyes and allow yourself to be immersed in your lovers presence, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as you swear your heart sinks up with his. Your breaths evening out together as you clutch each other desperately, addicted to each others skin, soul and body.

[slasherscream]

crazy ass boys gang + reader who threatens to leave (part two: CAPTIVITY) 

warnings: extreme yandere behavior - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. part one can be found here.

BILLY LOOMIS:

The days move at a snail’s pace. There’s little distraction available to you. 

Billy has always thought you were clever. A survivor. It’s one of the reasons he fell in love. That sharpness to you. But it makes you completely untrustworthy, given the circumstances. And the circumstances are this: your life for the last few weeks has consisted of being chained to the bed.

Not all the time. Not when Billy is home, and can watch you. But when he goes to work, or goes off to kill, Billy takes out the cuffs, and meticulously locks your ankles and feet to the bed. The dark look on his face as he does it makes you watch the process in silence. 

He’s been killing more often. You hope, absently, that he’s still being careful to not get caught. In the years since you two had been together he’d slowed down.

Now, it feels like every other night, you were watching him get ready to go out as Ghostface.

You can tell when he’ll go out next by how he treats you the day before. You two don’t talk anymore. You eat together in silence. Sit together in silence. He watches the dark silhouette of your body through the shower curtain, in silence. (You’re never alone, anymore, when you do anything. When you’re allowed to do anything. You don’t have even a sliver of his trust left.)

But how he watches you is the tell. 

His expression has been a mask of neutrality, since the moment you first woke up, cuffed to the bed. 

On the days before he goes out to kill, though? Those are the days where the mask keeps cracking. Small glimpses at the anger sitting in his chest like a second heart, beating steadily. The silence only makes it worse. Makes the anger red hot and blinding. 

It’s the icy silence of a lover scorned, on his part. And yours is the fearful silence of the last survivor of a horror movie trying to evade the killer at the end. 

The two of you used to laugh together. Laugh, and smile, and love each other. But you, apparently, don’t love Billy anymore. 

But Billy still loves you. So he stares at you until he gets too angry to think straight. And he goes out and kills as many people as it will take to keep himself from ever hurting you. 

JOSH WASHINGTON: 

You’re getting sick of hearing how sorry he is. 

He says it endlessly. Like a prayer. Like a compulsion. The words fall out his mouth as easily as breaths do. 

It feels like you wake up to his apologies and fall asleep to them each night. 

Josh only tied you up that one time, at the start. He apologizes about it often. “I panicked. I’ll never do it again. Not ever. I’m sorry.” You believe him, maybe you shouldn’t, but you do. He’d untied you as soon as you’d begun to rub your wrists raw from trying to get out of the cuffs. 

Once upon a time, you used to use those cuffs on him, at the start of everything. Back when Josh felt he was more monster than Human. Back when he didn’t trust himself not to hurt you. You’d obliged him and would cuff him to the bed before you went to sleep each night, even as you whispered: you couldn’t hurt a fly, Washington. 

You feel like a fly now, in a nasty spider’s web. But you don’t even bother struggling. 

When you’d rescued him from the mountains, his parents had set you both up somewhere remote. Not on another mountain, of course, but in a comfortable cabin out in a forest. No neighbors for miles and miles. Everything you need gets delivered to you twice a month. You used to make the lists of the necessities and send it off to the Washingtons, who were only too happy to give you anything you asked for. 

You’re still getting the deliveries, so you guess Josh has taken over that chore of communicating with his parents. 

You could run away. You could. But you remember how hard it was to out run the monsters on the mountain. You remember watching your friends die, one by one. By claws and by teeth, as they tried to run away. You watched almost all of them die. Or found their bodies. 

Josh wouldn’t kill you. Despite everything, you know he isn’t capable of that. 

Sometimes he still reaches out and touches your wrist, where you’d made yourself bleed with the cuffs, and looks sick to his stomach. They hadn’t even left a mark. But Josh stares at your wrists like a kicked dog, like any day, all these months later, they’ll show up by magic.

No, Josh wouldn’t kill you. He wouldn’t even hurt you. But you know you wouldn’t get very far. The forest isn’t a mountain, but it’s close enough. Sometimes you sit on the porch and just look out at all the trees that border the property line, and try to think about how long it would take him to catch you. 

Ten minutes? Thirty? An hour? You always make yourself laugh, with that last one. 

He’d never let you run for that long. He’d be terrified you’d get lost. Get hurt. He’d drag you back to the cabin, arms a tight-but-never-bruising cage around your waist, and you could claw him to shreds like a hellcat all the while, and you know the only thing he’d say would be: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

You don’t want to hear him say it anymore because it isn’t true. For every apology he gives you, every tearful glance, there’s something beneath it - utter relief, delight, that he’s even able to tell you he’s sorry. That he can reach out and put a hesitant hand on your arm. That he can look over and see you stewing in your anger. 

If Josh let you leave he would have been alone. And Josh has been alone before. He can’t handle it. Not for one second longer. So all that’s left to say is sorry.

STU MACHER:

It’s terrifying how normal he acts.

Love had blinded you before. You’re not sure how, but now you can see Stu for exactly what he is. You don’t ever let yourself forget now. You’d made that mistake once, you can’t make it again. 

You’re not sure how no one else sees it. 

You watch him endlessly. It’s all you can do. Always on edge. Always waiting for him to snap. You watch him at parties while he effortlessly holds the attention of the room. You watch him during dates, while he talks to the waiter like they’re long lost pals. You watch him charm all your friends, all your family. You watch how everyone laughs off all the little creepy things he says. He slips up so often. But he smiles just as often, and his laugh is contagious. The whole world has written him off as an eternally playful man-child. Peter Pan, born again.

You flinch whenever he comes up behind you, draping himself onto your body in that playful way he always has. 

You’d never focused on how much stronger he was before. Now, it’s all you ever think about. You close your eyes, and feel the strength in his arms, and plaster a smile on your face, thinking: Please don’t kill me. Please don’t kill me. Please don’t kill me. 

He seems to have moved on so completely from it all. You wake up in the middle of the night in tears, remembering how much blood had covered your apartment on the worst night of your life. Stu marked the date on your calendar as your new anniversary. 

The heart he made had been comically large, eclipsing the tiny box of the day in red marker. You’d forced yourself to laugh at the enthusiasm and give him a kiss on the cheek. His eyes had been glued to your face. For just a beat too long. You watching him. Him watching you. He’s always watching you now. You feel the burn of his gaze on the back of your neck like a second sun.

You’d felt your smile shaking at the edges. Your eyes starting to sting. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. You begged yourself as those sharp blue eyes scrutinized you. Waiting for you to slip. But you didn’t, so he grabbed you around the waist, dipped you low, and kissed you like you were a lead in a rom-com at the end of the movie. 

“We’re almost at our happily ever after, you know.” He’d slyly said at a party with all your friends and family, his arm thrown casually over your shoulder. 

He playfully tells your best friend they’re gonna have to help him pick out a ring soon. Everyone laughs and congratulates you. Tells you how lucky you are. 

You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and make yourself laugh too, “Don’t I know it!”

JASON DEAN/JD: 

You have to say I love you a lot more. 

He doesn’t ask for the words. He never would, beyond saying them first and giving you an expectant look. Green eyes boring into yours, begging you to say it back. You could so easily interpret that expectant look as a demand. But you know it isn’t. It’s desperation. 

You say it more because there’s a pit in your stomach. And it twists every time you see how much worse the tangled weeds of that desperation for your love has gotten within JD. 

He’s your shadow, more often than not. Like if he takes his eyes off you for just a second too long you’ll disappear. It wouldn’t be an unfounded fear, with the life he’s lived. All that he’s lost. 

You don’t know why you said something so cruel to him. So thoughtless. JD pushes because he likes the passion you two share. Because he needs to know you care. Not because he wants to push you away. And now he looks at you like a kicked dog every time he thinks you’re not paying attention. But you’re always paying attention. 

You wish you could take the words back. Pluck them from the air and swallow them down, bury them somewhere deep inside you. 

I didn’t mean them. I swear I didn’t mean them. I was just stressed. You just push me so much. But you keep those words inside too. It’s bad enough you said them once. You don’t want to remind JD of them. Bring them up again. It’s clear from how he’s acting they’ve been bouncing around his head already. 

He’s been more quiet than usual. Trapped in his head. He doesn’t even look up when you walk into the room. The look on his face makes you ache. 

You curl up into his side, wrapping your arms around him, and squeeze as tight as you can. So he can feel you by his side, solid and permanent. “I love you, JD.” 

He turns to look at you. Those sharp eyes searching for any hint you don’t mean it. That these pretty words are the lie, and the wanting to leave him was the nasty truth. 

You meet his gaze head on. You would tell him how sorry you are, but you don’t want to think about how cruel you can be, when you get mad. “I love you.” You repeat, instead.

Finally he smiles at you, “Yeah, I know you do, darlin’.”

KEVIN KHATCHADOURIAN: 

You don’t have to pretend you’re happy. In fact, when you try, it makes Kevin very angry. 

He never tells you to stop. But whenever you try to fake a little enthusiasm. Put on a little smile you don’t mean… the look on his face is enough to make you feel sick. His expression hardly moves. It’s the look in his eyes. Like he wants to hurt you. Badly. 

So you stop pretending. 

He demands your presence. Your attention. He doesn’t want your disingenuous attempts to placate him. 

You sit in silence more often than not. 

You used to try and fill the air between you. The more he would stare at you, the more you would talk. He’d hardly blink. Just watching as you’d wind yourself up under the force of your own anxiety. He rarely told you to be quiet. You think Kevin must’ve liked watching you squirm. Watching you uhm and ah, only pausing for breaths, because otherwise the silence would be deafening. And all that would be left would be the suffocating weight of his gaze. 

You don’t bother talking now. What could you say? 

Now you stare back. He’d almost looked surprised, the first time. When you turned to look at him, while he looked at you. You didn’t stop until it was time for you to head home.

That’s how you spend all your time with each other now. You arrive at his home. You take off your shoes. You make your way to his bedroom. Sit on his bed. You take a deep breath, and then you stare at him, and he stares back. 

You hate him. A very big part of you hates him. An even bigger part of you is terrified of him. 

You carry on like this for months. Passing the time. Feeling isolated. Like a trapped mouse, or bird in a cage, even as you live every aspect of your life completely identical to the way you did before you knew what Kevin was capable of. There’s no chain around your wrist or ankle. No guillotine blade on your neck. But the threat is still there, and life feels paper thin now. Like some veil has been pulled back. It all feels meaningless. 

You hate him. But there’s no one you can talk to. No one to turn to. You don’t dare turn to anyone else. 

So one day, while you’re staring each other down you reach into the space between you on the bed with your hand, and lay it down palm up. Kevin’s eyes flicker down, sizing up your hand, sizing up you. After a long moment he puts his hand in yours. 

You go back to staring at each other.

NATHAN PRESCOTT: 

Nathan hates the way you flinch when he gets too close. 

He tries to be understanding. He doesn’t have a right to be hurt, after what he’s done. It hurts anyway. He just tries not to let it show. He’s sure that would make you angry. Him walking around like a little victim when he fucking kidnapped you. He makes himself angry. He makes himself sick. 

But at least he has you. You hate his guts, but you’re with him. 

Nathan tries to tell himself that’s all that matters. But he misses the way things used to be like he’d miss a leg that got cut off. Phantom aches all day long. Every time he looks at you, and finds you already looking at him, hatefully. You used to look at him like you’d never get tired of him. 

He still wants to know what finally made you tired of him. But he doesn’t have the right to ask. So he doesn’t ask. 

He reinforced the cabin so you can’t get out. If you try you’ll have to make so much noise there’s not a hope in hell he won’t hear. He can’t bear to tie you up, or chain you. You’re a fighter, and he’s not much of one, so he probably should. But he can’t. He’d tried and it made him sick. He’d actually thrown up over it. 

He keeps you lightly drugged instead.

He’d thrown up over that too. But he had to do something. 

He’s always careful about the dosage. Careful about every step of the process. He’ll never mess it up. Not ever. He loves you. He’d hurt you once, and he’ll never do it again. He doesn’t want to fight you. Doesn’t want you to fight each other. 

You love each other. It might take a while, but one day you’ll remember that. Until you do, you’ll both stay here, far away from anyone else. Nathan hopes you’ll remember soon.

SEBASTIAN VALMONT: 

He’s going to make you fall in love with him again. 

If he was stronger he’d let you go. Hell, he wouldn’t have paid someone to kidnap you in the first place. But Sebastian has always gotten everything he wanted. And he’s never wanted anything as much as he wants you. He’s never loved anyone as much as he loves you. Maybe, before you, he never loved anyone at all.

You split his chest open and carved out a space inside him where only you can fit. You’re the single occupant of his heart. Forever. You can’t expect him to just turn it off. Can’t expect him to forget you. He tried, and he failed. 

So now he’s going to try something else. He’s going to win you back. Obviously, this isn’t the best starting point. But there have been worse starting points for rekindling a romance. 

He hires only one chef and one maid for your new penthouse. He pays them very well to never ask any questions. And to never, ever help you escape. The money is too good to turn down. Life-changing, really. So they never help.

It’s just you and him. The way it was always meant to be. 

You do candlelit dinners every night. You wake up, every morning, to flowers outside your door. Sebastian fulfills your every desire. Hangs on to your every word. You can have anything you want. Do anything you want. You just can’t leave. Not yet. Not until you’re in love with him again. Then life can go back to normal. 

He’d laughed when you asked him if he was going to keep you in the penthouse with him forever. He laughed until he had to wipe a tear from his eye. Then he leaned forward and kissed you softly. “No, sweetheart, I’m not crazy. Just crazy about you.” 

There are a lot of locks on the front door. You’ve never even seen the keys for them. The windows don’t open. Even if they did… the penthouse is twenty stories up, you wouldn’t survive the fall. 

Sebastian opens your bedroom door, giving you a smile that’s both cocky and charming. Hiding something behind his back. Another gift. “Good morning, gorgeous.” 

You smile. Reflex, and don’t know if it’s because you’re too scared not to, or because looking at him makes you want to smile. Sebastian gives you a gentle kiss on the cheek, the way he does when he’s happy. 

Nothing makes Sebastian more happy than getting what he wants.

A/N: we all know it took me forever to do this part two. if you enjoyed this fic consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writers fuel is engagement. and this fic took too damn long to write. xoxoxo

[adragonprinceswhore]

You’re Perfect

Billy Washington x Girlfriend

Summary: You ask Billy to fulfill one of your fantasies.

Warnings: 18+, AFAB reader, deepthroat, throat fucking, breath play, fingering, cum eating

A/N: Here you go, anon! Made a header ‘cause I was bored 🤓 Also, I can’t believe I wrote this? Please forgive me for the crimes of my ovulation 🙏

Word count: 1700

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The days between Christmas and New Years always feel like being in limbo; stuck in time between the cosy familiarity of Christmas, and the rejuvenating passing of New Years. Never feeling quite like yourself; sometimes unburdened by the stressors of everyday life, sometimes fretting over the return of normalcy as a new year embarks.

When your head is swirling with endless questions, sometimes something as simple as a shower makes you feel human again.

You step out of the bathroom, steam accompanying your dampened silhouette as you enter the living room of Billy's small flat. He’s lounging on the small sofa in the corner, feet propped up on the low ikea coffee table, eyes flickering from the TV screen to you, taking in the way your dressing gown clings to your dewy skin.

Eyes still on you, he sits up a bit straighter, spreading his legs out while stretching out a needy hand, the other one fidgeting with the remote to mute the TV, “Come here”.

As you got more comfortable with each other as a couple, you learned a few things about Billy; he’s giving and he’s needy.

He wants you to know how much he appreciates you. He shows his love by making you tea each morning. By complimenting your cooking, even when it tastes horrid. By touching you, every chance he gets.

You take his hand and sit down on his lap. Billy’s face instantly nuzzles into the softness of your chest, nose trailing across your smooth skin as he inhales, “Did you use that shower oil I got you for Christmas?”

“The one I told you to buy for me?”, you giggle, remembering how panicked his blue eyes had looked in the over-crowded shopping centre before you slipped your gift into his hand and told him you’d go out while he finished up there, “-yes”

Billy hums, the stubble on his chin scratching your skin, “Great choice. Do you feel better after your shower?”

When your head is swirling with endless questions, sometimes something as simple as Billy's touch makes you feel human again.

He’s always so gentle with you, a stark contrast to the natural clumsiness he seems to possess. With you, he’s always careful, fingertips grazing delicately over your skin.

“Yes”, you answer honestly, grabbing his face to angle it towards your lips.

The kiss starts soft, plush lips moving against each other slowly. But once Billy finds your ass, squeezing it over your dressing gown, his mouth matches the neediness of his hand.

When you push on his shoulder to allow yourself a moment to come up for air, his lips chase your mouth, reluctant to allow separation between the two of you.

You dodge him, place a quick peck on his lips and stroke the smooth skin on his cheekbones, “There’s this thing I’d like to try..”

Unable to keep from adoring you, Billy peppers your neck with soft kisses, mumbling “Tell me” into your skin.

“It’s this fantasy I’ve had for a while”, you start, feeling Billy straighten up slightly as he lifts his gaze to meet yours, intrigued.

“Anything”, he says, grasp on your ass moving your body slightly so your leg makes contact with his crotch, feeling the hardness already there.

“Before we met, I’d… get off to this thought…”, you explain, hand moving to play with the sandy hairs at the base of his neck, “it’s something I’ve always wanted to try”.

“If you’re about to suggest a threesome with one of my mates, I’m throwing you out the window”, Billy jokes, still busy lathering you in featherlight kisses.

You chuckle, leaning in closer, mouth right by his ear as you purr, “I want you to fuck my throat”

Billy’s body goes stiff beneath you, but you can swear that you feel his cock twitch against your leg.

“Um-, y-, yeah. Yeah, guess we could try that”, he stammers, caught off guard by your brazen request.

You swing one leg over his lap so that you're straddling him, a playful smile turning the corners of your lips up.

“Yeah?”, you excitedly confirm, stifling a giggle at how rapidly your partner's cheeks have turned pink, “would you like to try right now?”

Tongue darting out to lick his lips, Billy looks at you in amazement, nodding a silent yes.

You’d already gotten a bit worked up from just mentioning the subject, and now the realisation that it’ll happen has your core aching; arousal overtaking you rapidly.

You leave one last peck on Billy’s rosy lips before standing, pulling him up from the sofa and laying down with your head hanging over the armrest.

He observes you, mouth hanging open in astonishment, shoulders slumped and tent in his adidas bottoms evident. You almost let out another giggle at his baffled state.

“I want you to use me, Billy”, you urge, hand closest to him grabbing a fistful of the soft joggers material to pull him closer, “please”

He exhales shakily, hand moving down to palm over his aching cock. If this is what you want, who is he to deny you?

His eyes flicker from your face, eyes expectant and half-lidded with want, to your scarcely covered body, peeks of your soft skin peeping through the middle slit of your dressing gown.

God, you’re perfect.

“Tap my leg if it’s too much, yeah?”, he says, hesitation still evident in his tone, and you smile in reply, nodding.

He grabs his cock in one hand, the other moving to your face, fingertips gently tracing your cheeks as his eyes softly regard you with utter adoration.

Sliding in slowly, he inhales sharply at the feeling of your hot mouth welcoming him. He takes the lead, setting a shallow, easy pace, allowing you to get used to the sensation.

After a few thrusts he pulls out, cock twitching at the sight of a trail of your spit connecting the two of you, “You okay?”

His consideration is sweet, but the feeling of his heavy length in your mouth and the taste of his salty skin leaves you craving more, “Yes Billy, try going deeper”

He inhales shakily again, face evidently hot; cheeks shifting from pink to red and skin glistening.

He slides in deeper, holding the side of your face carefully in his palm, fingers gently feeling the outline of his cock through the delicate skin of your throat, and moans.

“Fuck”

He lets his inhibitions go a little more, focusing on how good it feels; how his eyes are able to appreciate every inch of you as you offer yourself to him on the worn-out sofa in his crummy flat.

Feeling your throat close in a useless attempt to swallow whatever’s blocking your airway, Billy whimpers at the pleasurable squeeze before pulling out, eyes looking down at you in horror, “Shit, sorry!”

You cough slightly, inhaling deeply to fill your lungs again. He’s so cute when he’s like this; worried puppy-eyes contrasting his out-blown pupils.

Locking eyes with him, you smile as one of your hands slides down to slip inside the opening of your dressing gown, fingers diving between your folds, urgently seeking your entrance.

Without needing further preparation, you work two fingers inside your tightness, delighted that the wet sounds of your arousal echo across the room.

“I like it”, you reassure him, “Use me, Billy”

Instantly complying, he moans loudly at how good it feels as your mouth welcomes him again, wet squelching around his length matching the fingers still buried between your legs.

You continue like that, Billy still careful to let you breathe as he fucks your throat with more and more vigour.

Each time he pulls out, there’s more spit adorning his cock. That sight alone has his balls tighten almost painfully in arousal, ready to release at any moment.

You take in a few deep breaths before opening your mouth again, glistening lips and teary, half-lidded eyes illuminated by the harsh, bright light coming from the TV.

Billy leans forward slightly, slowly easing his length back into your hot, wet mouth, unrestrained moans falling from his lips at the maddening sensation. His large hands tug at the cotton belt holding your dressing gown loosely together, revealing your naked form to his hungry gaze.

His palms brace themselves on each side of your waist, fingers squeezing your soft flesh tightly as he begins to thrust his hips again, fucking your throat in slow and precise movements.

The sound of your fingers working your dripping centre, mixed with the moans contained in your throat vibrating around him forces him towards an unabated release.

“‘M gonna cum”, he whimpers, pulling out of your mouth, once again mesmerised by the glistening wetness connecting his cock to your lips as you cough, lungs eager to receive oxygen as you breathe heavily beneath him.

His hand moves furiously over his slick length, pearly spurts landing on your hot skin as he paints your exposed tits in his cum.

Still breathing heavily, Billy drops to his knees beside the sofa to kiss you passionately, warm hand lovingly cupping your cheek.

“I love you”, he whispers, kissing your jaw.

You giggle, still a bit dazed.

“I love you”, he repeats, lips moving down to brush against your sore throat, your collarbones. He crawls on the floor next to you, kissing his cum on your breasts, smearing it over your skin with his tongue.

His lips find your nipple, biting at the nerve-filled flesh before soothingly sucking at it. Meanwhile, his fingers push the limp hand between your thighs away, plunging inside your dripping centre fervently, causing your back to arch off the sofa.

“Does it feel this good when you touch yourself?”, he asks, voice muffled by the skin of your breast, “Can your fingers reach this deep?”

“No”, you moan.

Your Billy, who often looks so afraid and unsure, lights up with confidence as his blue gaze mets yours,

“Didn’t think so”

[haddce]

At My Table [1/2]

Ettore x Fem Reader – Inspired by Dexter

Summary: “When a bigger monster appears, the smaller monster’s only instinct is to hide.” But Ettore, a chaotic and not-so-methodical criminal, cannot escape the one person who truly saw him: you. As he draws closer, hungry for a connection he’s never had, you set the table where he will be brought down.

Author's Notes: First of all, I wanted to mention that English is not my native language, so I apologize in advance if there are any errors or things that sound odd to native speakers. And about the character Ettore: he is not being romanticized here, but rather explored according to my creative vision and the narrative I want to build.

Words: 3.365

The night was quiet. The kind of quiet that only exists when the world seems to have its eyes closed, ignoring what hides in the shadows. You walked with cautious steps, as if you were part of the shadows yourself — which was half-true, since you couldn’t suppress the darkness that lived within you. Your eyes weren’t just for observing; they were also for hunting.

Your gloved hands reached for the lock, which opened easily. He wasn’t there — he worked as a night security guard, a job that allowed him to choose his next victims. You had spent days learning his habits and deciphering his routine, which was messy.

The house was dark, ordinary, and almost banal. At first glance, there was nothing that betrayed the darkness its owner carried within him, but you knew — certain things shouldn’t be left out in the open. The sound of a wall clock echoed from somewhere, marking time like na artificial heart. You moved with precision; after all, this was something you did often. The black gloves prevented leaving fingerprints, but even so, it wasn’t safe to touch every surface. The small flashlight you carried illuminated only what was necessary. The house was a reflection of his disturbed mind: messy, foul-smelling, and dirty. On a table in the corner of the room, there were photos — not pictures of a united family, just one of a little boy you knew was him as a child, and a woman you knew was his mother. In the second compartment, there was na album you knew you didn’t need to look at. You already knew what you would find, what had shaped him.

In the bedroom, you found what you were looking for. A small notebook hidden under the mattress, alongside sleeping pills. The pages were filled with chaotic scribbles — it was practically a diary where he wrote about each of his victims and attached a small object that belonged to them. Personal items as trophies? Not very original.

You closed the notebook and put it back in its place. You didn’t need to take anything; you already had everything you wanted. Now, it was just a matter of time. He didn’t know it yet, but you were already inside his world. And soon, he would be part of yours.

After carefully closing the door, you melted back into the darkness, steps cautious and steady. Got you. That phrase echoed in your mind like just another item on your to-do list.

The morning sun was pleasant. The rays gently hit the sidewalk and the bench where you were sitting. Despite the countless passersby, your eyes followed only one. Ettore. His steps were unsteady as he headed to a diner on the corner. You noisily folded the newspaper and stood up, leaving your somewhat unusual disguise on the bench, the pages deliberately scattered by the wind.

The diner was small, with a facade faded by time, but it had a peculiar charm. That is, it was the typical place that attracted those who didn’t want to draw attention. People like you and Ettore.

You moved quickly, entering the restaurant alongside another man. There was an empty table by the window. Ettore always sat there; he liked to watch the street. There weren’t many customers at the counter, the line was short, and between you and Ettore, there was only one man. Your eyes never left the back of that man’s neck — the man who would soon be at your table, and then, in pieces, in the trash bags you carried in your trunk.

Finally, it was Ettore’s turn, and he did as he always did, with a slouched posture that seemed to defy any notion of order. His hair was messy, and the leather jacket he wore looked like it had seen better days. You and he were complete opposites. He wasn’t methodical, wasn’t careful. He was chaotic, unpredictable. And that, you knew, was both na advantage and a risk.

He leaned on the counter, greeting the cashier with a casual nod. He seemed oddly at ease, as if within those walls he was less vulnerable. You watched him discreetly, stepping slightly out of line in the process, memorizing every detail and movement of his body. The way he avoided prolonged eye contact, how his hands trembled slightly after picking up what he had ordered — a donut and coffee, the usual. He had specific tastes and a routine, even if both were messy. Typically, he would leave the line and head to the most secluded table by the window, casually glancing back or toward the door, as if fearing someone might be following him. He was a tormented man, trying to hide it behind a mask of indifference, and he fed his torment through a ritual of humiliation with his victims.

Finally, it was your turn. When your father taught you the code, he also taught you to be a “social chameleon”. Rule number twelve of the code of conduct: If you need friends, choose a diverse group and find something they share in common, then start sharing it with them too — or pretend to. You smiled and stepped up to the counter.

– Good morning — the cashier greeted you, nodding her head. – What would you like? Would you like to see our menu?

– No, no — You rubbed your hands together, not because you were nervous or anything, but because you needed to blend into the environment. – I think a donut and a coffee, please.

– Just a moment — the cashier said as she began preparing your order.

Your eyes finally returned to Ettore. He was sitting at the table by the window, far enough to avoid being disturbed but close enough for you to keep na eye on him without drawing attention. He seemed lost in his own thoughts, still hadn’t touched what he had ordered, and his fingers drummed against the tabletop, as if playing a song only he could hear. His posture was slouched, but there was tension in his shoulders, as if he were ready to get up and run at any moment — a tension unfamiliar to you.

And finally, you received your order. With it in hand and the code of conduct racing through your mind, a warm smile spread across your face. Your steps were calm—there was no rush, just a calculated naturalness.

– Excuse me, can I sit here? — Your voice was light, and you pointed to the chair across from him. – That side is a bit noisy.

Ettore looked up at you, and you finally got to appreciate that sharp, melancholic gaze of someone who seemed as troubled as the others who had ended up at your table. He glanced around quickly, as if only now realizing how far he had sat from everyone else. Then, he shrugged, indifferent.

– Sure, go ahead — He replied, his voice hoarse, as if he didn’t use it much.

You sat down, placing the plate and cup on the table, and after that, carefully rested your hands in your lap. Rule number 16 of the code of conduct: Your gestures speak — don’t stop gesturing while talking to someone, make them feel like your words and presence are genuine. After a few seconds, your hands wrapped around the cup, but not to warm them. It was purely reflexive, something to keep up appearances. You weren’t there for the coffee. You were there for him.

Your lips parted, and you allowed yourself to take a sip of the coffee. As you lowered the cup, you glanced at him for a moment before breaking the silence.

– You come here often, don’t you? — The words that left your mouth might have sounded like sweet syrup to others, but they were nothing but poison. – I’ve seen you a few times.

He raised his eyebrows, seeming a bit startled, surprised to have been noticed. But he quickly relaxed — or at least tried to convey that. His mind was working on the idea that he wasn’t completely invisible.

– Yeah, yeah, I come here. It’s close to home — He replied, finally taking a sip of his coffee as the corners of his lips lifted almost imperceptibly. – And you? I’ve never seen you around here.

– I moved here recently for work — One of your greatest skills was lying well, and that was the second lie of the day. – I was transferred from my job, a complicated process, and decided to start coming here. I like the coffee — Another lie. The coffee here was terrible.

He let out a short, hoarse laugh, almost a grunt.

– The coffee here is shit.

You laughed too, the instinct of a “social chameleon.” If someone laughs, you laugh.

– True, but at least it’s cheap.

He looked at you with a bit more interest now, as if that interaction were a test of authenticity.

– Ettore — He said, extending his hand.

You hesitated for a moment — he had trusted you with na introduction too quickly. But then, a smile adorned your face, and you shook his hand.

– Anne — Another lie. After all, it would be harmful if he discovered your real name. – Nice to meet you.

Ettore’s handshake was firm, almost as if he didn’t want to maintain contact for too long. You noticed the scars on the tips of his fingers and his hands, marks of a life he was trying to leave behind but that always caught up to him.

– So… what brings you here? — he asked, trying to sound casual, but you could hear the pessimistic, distrustful undertone in his voice.

– The diner or the city? — You asked, laughing at the end. It was clear he didn’t know how to navigate a conversation.

– Both.

He spoke while bringing the donut to his mouth and taking a bite. You mimicked his gesture before giving a light smile.

– I was relocated to a social psychological care unit. — You said. It was a bit risky to lie about your profession, but you lied according to your skills in certain areas. – Well, I work going from house to house checking if the people on my list are alive. As for the diner, well, the coffee is cheap, and I think it could wake the dead.

He nodded positively, as if he understood the situation perfectly.

– So, Ettore, what do you do for work? — The question left your lips like a dagger dipped in honey.

He looked at you for a moment, as if weighing whether it was worth answering.

– I work here and there — He replied evasively.

– Nothing major.

You simply nodded. He didn’t want to talk much about his life, so it was better not to push. You already knew everything, everything you needed. Time to change the subject.

– Have you lived here long? I need some tips from someone experienced — He smiled, a crooked smile.

– Unfortunately, yes. — Ettore finished his coffee and looked at you. – But the places I frequent aren’t very interesting for a woman.

You gave a slight smile before letting out a low laugh.

– I understand — You raised the cup and smiled before finishing your own coffee.

First interaction successfully concluded. When he got up to leave, your movements mirrored his, like a skilled imitator. It was time to go.

– See you around, Ettore — You said, with a smile that perfectly mimicked something genuine. – I’m sure we’ll run into each other again soon.

– Yeah — He replied simply, leaving the money on the counter.

You stayed still for a moment, watching him leave. You knew this was just the beginning. He wasn’t methodical, wasn’t careful. But you were. And, little by little, he would become part of your world. And when that happened, he would end up at your table. After all, rule number 8 of the code of conduct: Never let the target suspect your intentions. Approach like prey, so they never realize you’re the predator.

Ettore wasn’t the type to frequent obvious places. He preferred spots that didn’t draw attention, where he could blend in and go unnoticed, and that made him noticeably lacking in social skills. And that was exactly what would lead you to find him again, this time in a small bar. Ettore always went there on weekends, drank enough to wake up dizzy, and then stumbled home. The place was small, poorly lit, with exposed brick walls and na air of decay that seemed almost intentional. The smell that permeated the air deeply offended your olfactory senses — a putrid odor reminiscent of stale beer, urine, sweat, and cheap cigarettes.

You entered the bar carefully, not needing any attention directed your way at that moment. Your attire was simple, something that would help you blend into the environment: a dark leather jacket, tight pants, and boots that made little noise as you walked. Your hair was down but slightly disheveled, enough to convey na air of casualness. It was important to look like you belonged in places like that, like you were there by chance.

Ettore was sitting at the counter, a beer bottle in hand and his eyes fixed on something that, apparently, only he could see. He seemed more relaxed there than at the diner, probably due to the effects of the alcohol. But you could see that, even there, he wasn’t completely at ease. There was a tension in his shoulders that resembled the darkness you carried within yourself.

Your steps led you to the counter, and you sat a few seats away from him, ordering a beer from the bartender. As you waited, your eyes discreetly moved in Ettore’s direction, trying to decipher what he was feeling at that moment. He would certainly make a good page in your memory archive dedicated to building profiles for different killers.

When the bartender brought your beer, you knew it was time to act. You stood up and walked over to Ettore’s side, pausing as you put on a smile.

– Ettore, right? — After the words left your lips in feigned surprise, he raised his head. – We saw each other at the diner, remember?

After a brief moment of what appeared to be hesitation, he looked at you and, consequently, your body, with a gaze that bordered on sinful.

– Oh, yeah… Anne, right? — He answered your question with a question. Definitely someone lacking social skills. – What are you doing here?

– I guess the not-so-interesting places you frequent attract me — You replied, shrugging. – A beer after a tiring week always hits the spot.

You raised your beer as if toasting someone invisible between the two of you. He simply nodded, taking a long sip. It was detestable — the taste of alcohol was nauseating, and the environment only made it worse. But it was also a little nostalgic; after all, your first murder followed this method: drink and blend in.

– I like it here. Not too many people bothering you. Occasionally someone gets stabbed on their way out, but it’s nothing to worry about.

You laughed lightly, masking the disgust you felt for places like that. A few seconds later, you were sitting beside him, while he seemed to withdraw and try to contain himself. Rule number 19 of the code of conduct: Speak and act as you know the person wants you to speak and act. Every gesture, every word, every look must be carefully calculated to reflect what the other wants to see in you. Make them believe you are exactly what they need, even if it means hiding who you really are.

– Do you come here often? — Your voice was calm but carried a slight note of interest. – When I have time, yeah — He replied simply. His eyes turned to your hands, and you placed them in your lap. Starved and hungry for touch — that’s what defined his impulsive actions.

The next few minutes were silent.

Ettore didn’t know how to hide what his eyes and hands betrayed. Every time you got closer, even minimally, his body reacted as if he were starving for something he couldn’t name. You, on the other hand, could name your desire to kill. A shift in posture, a finger tapping on the table as you spoke, a gaze fixed on your hands — perhaps imagining what it would be like to touch them. He was a man who had experienced little warmth in the form of touch, and that made it easy to read and predict what he would do.

The next hour was just idle chatter and plenty of lies.

The bar was almost empty now, just a few scattered people and the bartender cleaning glasses behind the counter. Ettore was visibly more relaxed; the effects of the alcohol made his expression clearer, easier to decipher. He looked in your direction more often, and there was something in his gaze that hadn’t been there before: interest and desire.

That night, you decided to test Ettore’s limits. Sitting beside him at the counter, you let your arm brush lightly against his. He didn’t pull away. On the contrary, he leaned forward, as if wanting to prolong the contact. It was noticeable how tightly he gripped his glass, his knuckles white, as if trying to anchor himself to something real. Neediness, you thought. The same neediness he saw in his victims, the same he felt during his ritual. He chased in others what he lacked within himself.

He was a man who had spent so much time being avoided that now, any sign of attention left him disarmed.

The next few minutes were unsettling.

Laughing at a lame joke he made unconsciously, you let your hand rest lightly on his forearm, pretending it was a casual gesture. Ettore flinched, almost imperceptibly, but he didn’t pull away. And finally, those sharp, melancholic eyes shone differently, as if that fleeting touch were a gift he didn’t know how to thank you for.

– You laugh at anything — He said, trying to sound casual, but his voice betrayed a longing and gratitude he couldn’t hide.

– Not at anything — You corrected. – Only at the things that are worth it.

He smiled, looking away like na embarrassed teenager. You knew it was working. Every calculated touch, every exchanged glance, every laugh — it was all bait, and he was biting with na almost tragic ease.

– Do you always go out alone? — Your voice was melodic, but if a better definition were needed, it was like the voice of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Your knee brushed against his, casually, and he didn’t pull away.

– Not always — Ettore seemed hesitant to answer, avoiding eye contact while his lips were slightly parted. – But… it’s easier this way.

A knowing smile lit up your face, as if you shared the same feeling. You placed your hand just a few centimeters from his.

– Often, loneliness weighs more than we can admit — Your voice came out in a tone that seemed confessional. Mirror game. That’s how it worked: showing him a reflection of his own wounds, but polished enough for him to see himself in it. He looked at your hand, so close to his, and swallowed hard. You saw the movement of his throat, the tension in his jaw. He wants to touch but doesn’t know how. And then, you let your hand gently and gradually envelop his, in a gesture that could be interpreted as comfort. He flinched but didn’t pull away.

– Have you ever had someone who understood the loneliness inside you? — He stared at you before looking away.

– No — The answer was short. But you knew he would elaborate. – People always leave, or I push them away.

– Not everyone leaves — You said cautiously but with a firm voice, like a promise you would never keep.

He turned his palm upward, almost imperceptibly, as if secretly hoping you would intertwine your fingers with his. You didn’t. Instead, you slowly removed your hand, letting the touch linger like na unpaid debt. It was necessary to keep him hungry, not satisfied.

When the two of you left the bar, he was visibly more drunk but also bolder. Before saying goodbye on the dark sidewalk, he held your arm for a moment, his fingers gently squeezing. Meanwhile, Ettore’s other arm rose, and he brushed his fingers lightly against your waist.

And there it was, that sharp, burning gaze, as if he were a hungry wolf standing before a shepherd full of sheep. You smiled, placing your hand over his in a gesture that feigned tenderness.

– Will we see each other again? — He asked, his voice choked with a need he could no longer hide.

– Of course we will. — You lied, with the typical sweetness of someone holding the ends of na invisible rope. See you soon, Ettore.

Rule number 4 of the code of conduct: Do not form romantic or emotional connections with those you will dismember.

Final: Just to provide some context, this story is an experimental project for me, as I’m gradually getting back into writing and trying to adapt to different narrative styles.

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

An Appetite for More

13/12: Presents and Praise Kink - Billy Washington Word Count: 1.6k~ | Warnings: oral (f receiving), heavy petting, praise kink

12 Days of Smuff Masterlist

A/N: it's all about the sopping wet subby men in mid December apparently

She glances over at Billy in the passenger seat of her battered VW Polo. He looks fucking miserable, eyes heavy with fatigue, his head rested in the palm of his hand with his elbow propped against the window. 

The family gathering/present swap/intervention or whatever the fuck it was, didn't end the best.

It was the first Christmas since Billy's incident in the Summer, the one that nearly cost him his life. She still remembers the way her heart leapt into her throat when she found out what may or may not happen to him. 

When she thought she might lose him.

It was a feeling she wouldn't wish on anybody.

She even remembers the way she squeezed the life out of him in the police station. He smelled of sweat and fear, and she felt his desperation in the way he clung to her, as if he couldn't imagine ever entertaining the thought of letting her go.

And of course, the family gathering started fine, but ended with some choice words about what had happened. It got so heated that Lana nearly leapt over the table at a distant uncle, her accent so thick with anger that even she could barely understand her. In other circumstances she might have laughed. But one glance at Billy beside her, his knee bouncing erratically, jaw tense, half a sunday dinner still sat lukewarm in front of him, all she could do was hold his hand under the table.

When it had gone on too long though, even she couldn't hold back. If she had seen Billy's face, there was the slight glimmer of love and pride, that someone he loved would stand up for him.

He was doing so well, she thought, he didn't need this. Especially so close to Christmas. She almost thought about ditching her plan altogether, but thought that there was a slither of a chance he might enjoy it still.

She pats his knee lovingly as she drives, her eyes still on the road, but her gesture is enough to show that she was thinking of him.

Billy sighs, and slides his hand over hers, “sorry.”

“Don't be sorry,” she says easily, “it was shitty of them to bring it up.”

He glances over, the street lights passing by illuminating his blue, sad eyes. “Thank you for sticking up for me.”

“Always,” she smiles, squeezing his hand. "I should give your sister a medal as well, didn't know she could move so fast."

It was sad, exhausted even, the smile he gave back. But it was something. And it made her heart flutter all the same.

She sighed in relief as the central heating of Billy's flat hit her skin, pulling her coat off her shoulders and toeing her shoes off at the front door as Billy made his way to the kitchen. The flat smelled faintly of those knockoff Yankee Candles that Billy always bought from B&M. 'Fresh Cotton', my arse, she thinks as the acrid scent hits her nose.

“Brew?” He asks, filling up the kettle with anticipation that she'd say yes anyway.

A grin rose to her lips, leaning against the doorway, “um, you still have one present left?”

He half turns, his face set in confusion, “do I?”

She nodded, her grin widening as she folded her arms across her chest, “Course you do.”

Billy places the kettle on its base, his curiosity piqued as he turns to lean casually against the counter. “Alright then, where is it?” He asks.

She presses her lips together to suppress the desire to outright smile, her hands coming to the buttons at the front of her dress, unfurling the fabric, revealing inch after inch of tantalising skin. Billy's eyes follow, his jaw on the floor at the layer of red lace that adorned her curves. He swallowed hard, momentarily speechless as her dress rippled to the floor, leaving her stood in a crimson ensemble that rendered him stupid.

He said nothing, but simply made his way to her, making no attempt to touch her yet. And sank slowly to his knees, large hands bracing the spot above her waist beside her breasts, pressing his face to her bare stomach and exhaling.

“Good boy,” she praises softly, running her fingers through his hair as he raises his eyes to her, a flicker of hunger in them. She didn’t need him to speak. His body said it all, how much he craved her, how willing he was to please.

She let her fingertips trail down his face, her smile softening. “You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?”

He gives the slightest nod, his hands itching to touch her more. “Please, baby, don't…” he breathes, as if it physically pains him to be teased.

Her smile deepened, equal parts tender and wicked. “But you look so good like this,” she murmured, her fingers tracing the sharp lines of his jaw. “On your knees, desperate for me. You’re perfect.”

Billy’s breath hitched at her words, the praise sinking into him like fire. She took his hand, guiding it to her thigh, letting him feel the heat of her skin through the delicate lace. His lips parted, and without waiting for more, he leaned in, pressing reverent kisses against her stomach, each one slow and deliberate.

“Good boy,” she whispered, threading her fingers through his hair as he worked his way down, his lips trailing lower, his breath hot against her skin.

When he reached her waistband, he glanced up, waiting for her nod before carefully pushing the lace aside. She gasped softly as his tongue flicked out, the warmth of his mouth teasing her entrance, trailing up to her clit. Billy gripped her thighs, pressing her back against the cool counter as he buried himself between her legs.

“That’s it,” she praised, her voice breathy and warm. “Just like that, baby. You’re so good to me.”

His eyes met hers briefly before he doubled down, his tongue moving with purpose down to her entrance again, fucking her with his tongue as if he himself drew pleasure from it. Her fingers tightened in his hair, pulling him closer as her breathing grew more erratic, thighs shaking as his fingers made bruises in flesh.

“God, Billy,” she moaned, her head tilting back as the tension coiled tighter in her core. “You’re perfect. My perfect– ah.”

The praise strained his jeans, combined with the taste of her, having her all to himself, his knees burning against the floor. He thought, this was the best fucking meal he'd ever had in this kitchen. She was sweet, warm and needy, all he ever wanted.

He groaned against her, the vibration sending a white hot wave up her spine, the pleasure tightening in her gut. Her head threw back against the cupboards, her grip on his hair so hard she was sure she might have been pulling too much.

His hands slid up to her waist, pulling her down to his mouth in rhythmic movements. His nose brushed against her clit, and that was what sent her finally spiralling.

Her thighs trembled around him, her nails digging into the countertop for support as her climax crashed over her. Each wave of pleasure wracked her body, pulling a guttural moan from her lips. Fuck the neighbours, she thought, completely lost in the moment. Nothing else mattered but him and the way he worshipped her with his mouth.

Billy didn’t relent, his tongue working her through every last tremor. Even when she was fully spent, humming in the afterglow, he kept this slow, lazy pace of forcing her hips to roll over his face.

“Billy,” she whimpered, her voice barely above a whisper. “Too much…”

Only then did he ease off, placing one last reverent kiss against her sensitive flesh before looking up, his lips glistening, his eyes heavy with satisfaction. He pressed his forehead against her stomach, his breath hot against her skin as he waited for her to come back down.

“You’re amazing,” she murmured, her voice shaky but full of warmth. She cupped his face, gently lifting it so their eyes met. “So good for me.”

A faint smile tugged at his lips. She pulled him to his feet, her lips finding his in a slow, intense kiss, tasting herself on him, stoking a flame inside her. Their lips moved in sync as she guided him toward the bedroom. Her legs were still shaky, but she didn’t care. She wanted him, all of him, and nothing was going to stop her.

When they reached the bed, she pushed him back onto the mattress, climbing over him with predatory intent. His hands immediately found her hips, but she pinned them down against the sheets, her eyes gleaming with playful dominance.

“Not yet,” she whispered, leaning down to nip at his jawline. “You’ve been so good for me tonight. Let me take care of you now.”

Billy groaned, his hands flexing under her grip, but he didn’t resist. He trusted her completely, and that trust only fueled her desire. She kissed her way down his chest, her hands following the trail of her lips, savoring every inch of him.

When she finally reached his waistband, she looked up, her gaze locked onto his. “Tell me what you want, baby,” she murmured, her fingers teasing at the fabric, stroking his erection through his jeans.

“You,” he managed, his voice a low growl. “Just you.”

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