#BloodRayne: The Third Reich

[gameofthunder66]

Bloodrayne: The Third Reich - Official Movie Trailer

-watched 7/31/2023- 1 [1/2] stars- on Tubi (free)

[gbhbl]

Game - Movie Review: BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2011)

It’s just so boring and its 76-minute run-time feels triple that. Even a ton of softcore porn can’t save this and there’s a ton of it.

We have been very vocal about how much of a hack we consider Uwe Boll. A director responsible for far too many video game adaptions and most of the worst ones you’ll ever watch. Movies like House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Alone in the Dark II, Postal and the Bloodrayne movies. The first one, Bloodrayne was released in 2005 and starred the likes of Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Billy…

[escape-my-reality]

Film Review-BLOODRAYNE: THE THIRD REICH (2011)

Directed by: Uwe Boll

Written by: Michael Nachoff

Produced by: Daniel Clarke & Wolfgang Herold

Summary: Rayne fights against the Nazis in Europe during World War II, encountering Ekart Brand, a Nazi leader whose target is to inject Adolf Hitler with Rayne's blood in an attempt to transform him into a dhampir and attain immortality. Cast:

Natassia Malthe as Rayne

Michael Paré as Ekart Brand

Brendan Fletcher as Nathaniel

Clint Howard as Doctor Mangler

Willam Belli as Vasyl Tishenko

Natalia Guslistaya as Sniper Natalia

Annett Culp as Magda Marković

Steffen Mennekes as Lt. Kaspar Jaeger

Safiya Kaygin as Svetlana Koerk

Vjekoslav Katusin as German Soldier

Goran Manić as Boris

Fabrice Colson as Partisan

Petar Benčić as Driver

Boris Bakal as Adolf Hitler

The 3rd BloodRayne film isn't much better than what proceeded it. It's so far from the source material that if you just started watching it and nobody told you what it was you wouldn't be able to identify it as anything relating to the BloodRayne series. The issue with adaptation films is usually that they end up being hated for failing to understand what fans enjoyed about the original work and in this instance, they don't even really try with what they have.

This installment in the trilogy IS the best in the series even with all of it's flaws, but that's not really saying much if you've seen the others. You see, Uwe Boll is most known for making schlock horror films which are made on a small budget and are usually campy to the point of hilarity. That style of filmmaking just doesn't work when you're taking on a property that already exists in entertainment because it feels like you aren't taking the material seriously and that this is just a cash grab for you. What makes this this one the best yet is the action is handled better but a lot of the same issues are present. The setting finally resembles something we know from the games, but it's handled with no skill or tact whatsoever. This is Nazi Germany for God's sake. Boll doesn't do ANYTHING to capture the grisly and sickening nature of that location during that time period. Rayne as a character is lifeless and boring, the villains are all stenciled and uninteresting. The concept of Vampires is still not used in any way that makes this film unique or special. There is really just nothing to see here. THE GOOD

This film manages to make strides at getting closer to the source material while also moving further away from it. At the very least though the action has gotten a little more watchable.

THE BAD

What made the games interesting from the antagonist standpoint was all the different experimental Nazi Supermen of the GeigenGeist Gruppe but this film doesn’t capture that in the least. It settles for these generic cookie cutter, bad guy, evil Vampires that are opposite Rayne.

Natassia Malthe is still a terrible choice to play Rayne and they changed the look so much that she doesn’t even remotely resemble any version of the character at this point. You never get the sense that she’s even aware of the stakes in this film, her emotions remain mostly the same throughout. In the games Rayne is mostly sarcastic and vengeful but she doesn’t react differently to certain plot elements.

I don’t know how Uwe Boll keeps managing to make sex and nudity unappealing but he pulls it off flawlessly every time.

For a film based on a game where you murder tons of Nazis and monsters there isn’t a lot of carnage or blood in this film. The fight scenes aren’t as bad as they were in the previous films, but more gore would have been nice.

I give this film a 2.1 out of 10 PLEASE STOP MAKING THESE!

[blood-of-bath]

Bloodrayne: The Third Reich (2011)

[movies-ive-watched]

The Blood Reich - Bloodrayne 3 (2010)

BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2011)

[alexalily]

Ranking of Video Game Movies - Part 2

I've watched ten more video game movies and so it's time to update the rankings again. Before we get to the new additions, we have some minor housekeeping to take care of.

Tekken (#31) moved above Alone in the Dark (#32)

The Tekken movie is bad but Alone in the Dark is so much worse. I mean, they're both terrible so it's like comparing getting kicked in the shin with getting your toes stomped. But I must give credit where it's due, congratulations to Tekken for being slightly less awful that Alone in the Dark.

Dead Trigger (#35) moved above BloodRayne: The Third Reich (#37)

See, Dead Trigger is a whole, complete movie. Only barely, but it does, in fact, have a beginning, middle, and end. Whereas BloodRayne: The Third Reich doesn't, really. It's like they got halfway through filming the ending and just kinda gave up and called it a day. And so for the amazing feat of managing to tell a whole story, it gets to be slightly above the absolute bottom of this atrocious barrel.

And now for the part everyone actually cares about.

#13 - It Came From The Desert

There's all kinds of surprises with this one. First off, did you know that Cinemaware released a game called "It Came From The Desert" in 1989? And, did you know, that there was a movie adaptation of it released in 2015? And, this is maybe the biggest surprise of all, it's actually a really solid movie! The game is originally inspired by 1950s monster movies so it makes some amount of sense that it'd adapt well back into movie form. I think what really saves this is that the movie is fully aware that it's a cheesy B-movie and knows when to push on that and when not to. Aside from a couple moments where they try to poke fun at the generic structure of many B-movies, this is a pretty good watch all the way through. Also, this is the first movie on this list to have actual in-game footage play during the credits, so that's neat.

#14 - Dynasty Warriors

This movie is a whole lot of spectacle. If you love seeing dudes fight other dudes, then select parts of this are for you. It gets dragged down by having a lot of big exposition dumps in it but on the whole it's pretty fun? The plot is held together with duct tape and string but it gets you from Point A to Point B well enough that the big fights can more or less carry the movie. But it is weird how this sorta just cuts off at the end. You know how the middle movie in a trilogy oftentimes has the issue of an unsatisfying end because it spends all the runtime setting up stuff to be resolved in the next movie? That's kind of what this movie feels like. Lots of setup but resolving very little.

#15 - Mortal Kombat (1995)

Just some good, campy, fun. I think if a Mortal Kombat movie tried to be too serious that'd be a pretty big mistake because the games are so over-the-top and goofy. You punch a man and he explodes into seven ribcages! You drop an arcade machine on someones head! You turn into a dragon and eat a person! It's silly and the movie version of it is as well.

#18 - Mortal Kombat (2021)

Yeah, so, about that. We found out what happens if they made a more serious Mortal Kombat movie. They gave Scorpion a dark and gritty and tragic backstory. And gave some guy named Cole an emotional arc about protecting his family or whatever. And Kano is there, too. This movie is too serious for its own good, so when it does do goofy Mortal Kombat nonsense (like Liu Kang’s dragon eating a guy) it really causes some tonal whiplash.

#25 - Ratchet & Clank

This is a movie for children. I am not a child. I don't watch many movies for children. I don't really know how to judge this aside from "generally fine, I guess?" I didn't watch this all that long ago and I've already mostly forgotten it. There's a lombax, he's got a wrench, and a robot buddy, I guess? It's whatever.

#29 - Assassin's Creed

This has got to be the most tragic misuse of Michael Kenneth Williams I've ever seen. They make it seem like he's going to be some important character but then he's barely on screen and is give some of the worst dialogue in the movie. What the fuck, such a waste. I had pretty low expectations going in to this one and yet it still managed to be worse than that. Most of its issues are that it's just plain dull. It's bad in very mundane and boring ways which, in some ways, is the worst kind of bad a movie can be.

#30 - Mortal Kombat Annihilation

The 1995 Mortal Kombat movie is a barebones plot with lots of fight scenes. This one is almost the inverse of that. Way too much plot and not enough people exploding into ribcages or whatever. The plot is terrible and a lot of the fight choreography here is a step down from the first one. And they don't even have the charismatic Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa to carry this one, either.

#34 - Oneechanbara The Movie vorteX & #36 - Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad

When I saw that there's two Oneechanbara movies, I expected them to both be relentlessly horny borderline softcore porn so I was extremely surprised that they're actually extremely serious and extremely bad low-budget zombie movies! Really, the only horny part in either of these are the character designs/costumes but those are the source material's fault and not the movies themselves. Both of these suck shit and I was barely able to sit through them.

#39 - Postal

Here's one I wasn't able to sit through. I only made it about a half hour into it before I had to tap out. It's the sort of movie which is made by and for people who think South Park is the pinnacle of both humor and political commentary. And it follows South Park's line of thinking that if it's offensive to everyone then that's totally fair and makes the bigotry just funny jokes and not actual bigotry, right? It was exhausting to watch the portion I did and I couldn't stand to watch any more of it. Did you know that Postal 4 just released a little over a week ago? Please, for the love of god, let this franchise die.

And that brings this update to a close. Ten more movies down. And not that many more to go, actually! There's plenty more movies but I'm only willing to go so far to be able to watch them. I'm committed to watching as many as I can but I'm not going to pay seven dollars or whatever to rent some piece of garbage for one night just so I can say that it's bad. Even I have standards.

[bloodrayned-blog]

Why don't you use Bloodranye's FC from the movies? This isn't a jab at your fc choice, I'm just curious

because the movies make me crave the sweet release of death.

they’re awful. absolutely awful. i think the one that gets even close to actual bloodrayne is third reich, and even then. the movies are just yet another example of people taking good games, stripping them of every bit of decency and then shitting out a stream of steaming, smelly diarrhoea. uwe boll can suck a fart out my fat ass.

[falconlord92]

All the Movies I’ve Seen (That I Can Remember): Rank F

These are, in my honest opinion, the worst movies of all time. I can honestly say I’m ashamed to have seen a few of them. You won’t see any Marvel Cinematic Universe, Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter movies here. For me these movies have no redeeming qualities. I got no enjoyment out of viewing them; no laughs, no smiles, no slight chuckle. I actually felt dumber watching these. I left a few of these movies feeling slightly dead inside. Movies that are “so bad, they’re good” will not be on this list... Those will be ranked D-. I personally cannot recommend any of these to anyone. This list will be ongoing.

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Godzilla’s Revenge (1969)

Gargoyles (1972)

Star Wars: Holiday Special (1978)

Captain America (1979)

Captain America II: Death Too Soon (1979)

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980)

Popeye (1980)

Game of Death II (1982)

Smokey and the Bandit III (1983)

Supergirl (1984)

Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)

Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985)

Howard the Duck (1986)

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Masters of the Universe (1987)

The Punisher (1989)

Captain America (1990)

Dragon Ball: Fight Son Goku, Win Son Goku (1990)

Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins (1991)

The Thief and the Cobbler (1993)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)

RoboCop 3 (1993)

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

The Fantastic Four (1994)

Street Fighter (1995)

Kazaam (1996)

The Birdcage (1996)

Steel (1997)Dogma (1999)

The Master of Disguise (2002)

Ang Lee’s The Hulk (2003)

House of the Dead (2003)

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Bloodrayne (2005)

Son of the Mask (2005)

RV (2006)

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

Bloodrayne: Deliverance (2007)

The Spirit (2008)

Dragon Ball Evolution (2009)

Bloodrayne: The Third Reich (2011)

Immortals (2011)

Pain and Gain (2013)

A Merry Friggin’ Christmas (2014)

Fant4stic (2015)

Kung Fury (2015)

[gbhbl]

Game - Movie Review: Far Cry (2008)

Is this the worst Uwe Boll video game movie adaption? It’s a mighty fine contender.

Uwe Boll. The bane of video games. Why? If you don’t know, he has been responsible for many, many video game to movie adaptions. Which might sound like a positive thing, except he is absolutely terrible at it. We know, we have watched almost all his work to date. House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Alone in the Dark II, BloodRayne, BloodRayne 2: Deliverance, BloodRayne: The Third Reich and…

[tmcoan]

What better way to start off than with our continuing shit-rospective on our least favorite director Ewe Boll. Tonight we sink our teeth into Bloodrayne: the third reich. Will it be as bad as the other two? (Probably) or will it be even worse? (Most definitely) find out tonight on TMCOAN!!! https://www.instagram.com/p/CBCJemMBC4J/?igshid=vyhkh5ygoix9

[schoolofrockgr]

Όταν ο πιο άχρηστος σκηνοθέτης, «προσκάλεσε» να δείρει κριτικούς

Μια ιστορία που θα μπορούσε κάλλιστα να μπει και στην κατηγορία fiction αν ζούσαμε σε άλλο πλανήτη. Αλλά όχι, σε αυτόν τον πλανήτη έχουμε την τύχη να συγκατοικούμε με τον διαβόητο σκηνοθέτη Uwe Boll που το σωτήριο έτος 2006, προκάλεσε 4 επικριτές για το έργο του, κριτικούς, σε πυγμαχικό αγώνα. Κανονικά, μέσα σε ριγκ. Και τους τσάκισε στο ξύλο «νόμιμα», βγάζοντας τα απωθημένα του.

Γιατί όπου δεν πίπτει λόγος, πίπτει ράβδος.

Αλλά ας τα πάρουμε τα πράγματα από την αρχή γιατί μπορεί να είσαι από τους τυχερούς που δεν έχεις δει ταινία του Uwe Boll. Εδώ δεν μιλάμε για ταινίες επιπέδου The Room ή Samurai Cop που είναι σε ένα επίπεδο διασκεδαστικές και ξέρουν κατά βάθος τι είναι (έστω και αν τους πήρε χρόνια να το χωνέψουν). Οι ταινίες του Γερμανού βασίζονται σε videogames, με «πολύπλοκα» σενάρια και… εφέ (γελάει ο κόσμος).

Ο Uwe Boll πριν και μετά τον αγώνα, δεν σταμάτησε ποτέ να λαμβάνει hate από τους κριτικούς. Απλώς έβγαλε το άχτι του.

Ήταν Σεπτέμβριος του 2006 όταν προσκάλεσε 4 κριτικούς στον Καναδά αν έχουν… αυγουλάκια στα παντελόνια τους να τον δείρουν μέσα στο ριγκ. Φυσικά και προέκυψε ένα θέαμα διασκεδαστικότερο από τις ταινίες του όταν και έφυγε με 4-0 νίκες από τους γιωτάδες που πήγε και τα έβαλε.

Ο ρεπόρτερ του site www.somethingawful.com, Richard Kyanka μπήκε πρώτος στο ριγκ, φωνάζοντας μάλιστα προς το Καναδικό κοινό ότι υποθάλπουν έναν εγκληματία (της τέχνης). Νοκ άουτ στον πρώτο γύρο.

  Ο Jeff Sneider από το Ain’t It Cool News ήταν ο επόμενος. Έφυγε με TKO και πολλά παράπονα ότι δεν περίμενε πως θα έπεφτε αληθινό ξύλο. Νόμιζε πως όλο αυτό γινόταν για τα media.

ΝΕΧΤ!

Ο Chris Alexander από το Rue Morgue radio ήταν ο μόνος που άντεξε λίγο παραπάνω αφού κατάφερε μερικά χτυπήματα και να ξεγελάσει για λίγο τον Boll. Έφυγε επίσης με ένα νοκ άουτ στην πλάτη και αιμορραγία από το στόμα.

Τελευταίος… Ένας 17χρονος blogger, o Nelson Chance Mintner που δεν θα είχε έτσι κι αλλιώς καμία τύχη μπροστά στον Raging Bull, Uwe Boll.

Φυσικά όλο αυτό, τόνωσε το ηθικό του 52χρονου, σήμερα, σκηνοθέτη που από τότε μας «χάρισε» ένα βουνό ακόμα από σκουπιδο-videogame ταινίες. Δες τη λίστα. Αυτό που θα προσέξετε είναι ότι αγαπάει πολύ το Rampage. Μάλιστα, αυτός ήθελε να κάνει το big badget Rampage που γυρίζεται τώρα με τον The Rock και τον Jeffrey Morgan και είχε βγάλει και ένα video βρίζοντας τους Avengers (!) που δεν του έδιναν τότε την ευκαιρία, αντί να βγάζουν «ταινίες με καθυστερημένους σούπερ ήρωες».

Μεγάλη προσωπικότητα. Μετά από αυτό το κείμενο, περιμένουμε τη δική μας πρόσκληση για ξύλο.

2016 Rampage: President Down

2014 Rampage: Capital Punishment

2014 In the Name of the King: The Last Mission

2013 The Profane Exhibit (segment “Basement”)

2013 Suddenly

2013 Bailout: The Age of Greed

2011 Behind the Scenes of ‘In the Name of the King: Two Worlds’ (Video documentary short)

2011 In the Name of the King: Two Worlds

2011 Blubberella

2011 BloodRayne: The Third Reich

2011 Auschwitz

2010 Max Schmeling

2010 The Final Storm

2009 Darfur

2009 Rampage

2009 Stoic

2008 Far Cry

2008 Tunnel Rats

2007 BloodRayne II: Deliverance (Video)

2007 Postal

2007 In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AebQIy5UNng

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuLa9xTqhbE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT1J65KHX8E

[diversegaminglists]

Games with Nazis, Nazi and Fascist Imagery

This list is intended primarily as a content/trigger warning resource. I’m including fascism in general as well as the more obviously named Nazis.

Content Warnings: Mentions of concentration camps, prisoner of war camps, ethnic cleansing, the holocaust, anti-Semitism, eugenics, rape, abortion, and general fascist horrible things.

As with all lists, suggestions and corrections are encouraged,

Fantasy/Fictional Games Featuring Nazis:

'Allo 'Allo! Cartoon Fun! - Licensed game from the 1980s British TV comedy series, set in occupied France.

Another War - Polish made RPG set during WW2 in the style of Baldur’s Gate.

Bionic Commando - The Japanese NES game originally had Hitler as the final boss, but the International versions changed his name without changing his appearance.

Bloodrayne - Set in 1933 and 1935, deals almost entirely with killing Nazis and Nazi vampires. The PC and Xbox versions have had the swastikas removed and replaced with a triskelion style symbol, which is also used by other real world white suprematist groups.

Bugs vs. Tanks - The player is a tank crew of Nazi tanks who have been miniaturised.

CannonCrotch - About killing Nazis with a dick cannon, yeah.

Call of Cthulhu: Prisoner of Ice - Something about Nazi scientists trying to harness the power of eldrich abominations.

Call of Duty: Zombies - Nazi zombies

Captain America: Super Soldier - Features the Iron Cross (the Marvel super soldier, not the medal) and Agents of Hydra, who are both Nazis.

City of Heroes - This defunct MMO had a villain faction who were Nazis.

Command & Conquer: Red Alert - Time travel led to Russia becoming the aggressor in WW2.

Death to Spies Franchise - Hitman style games about killing German spies in the Soviet Union.

Deus Ex - Brief mentions of Nazi gold.

Dino D-Day - As you’d expect from the title, D-Day with dinosaurs.

Double Hitler - A QWOP game where Hitler is two small kids in a trench-coat.

Download 2 - The plot involves terrorist trying to bring back Hitler with digital technology.

Enemy Front - FPS about an American War Correspondent fighting with the Resistance

Epic Fantasy Battle Series - The second game features a Nazi as the final boss. He joins the party in the 3rd and 4th games. Both the Swastika and the Iron Cross symbolism show up in his outfits, though the Swastikas point in the wrong direction.

Ethnic Cleansing - I don’t think I need to explain this one.

Flight of the Amazon Queen - Features a company which is a front for a Nazi group with the names filed off.

Fists of Resistance - Game about punching Nazis

Freedom Fighters - Alternative history where Russia won WW2.

Freedom Force vs The Third Reich - It’s in the title so I’m being redundant for sake of completeness, it features alternative history and time travel but no actual swastikas.

Golgo 13: Wolf's Lair - Infiltrating a Neo-Nazi lair and killing them.

Golgo 13: Top Secret Episode - The Japanese original features a cyborg Hitler and obvious Nazis. These were apparently changed in the English language localisation, but the imagery and use of the swastika remains

The Great Escape (1986) - Based on the movie, not the real events which inspired it.

The Great Escape (2003) - Based on the movie, not the real events which inspired it.

Gran Turismo - Something about Nazi cars??!

GROM: Terror in Tibet - RPG about fighting Nazis with mystical Tibetan magical relics.

Guntu Western Front June, 1944 - FPS set in occupied France

Hans Kloss - A platforming game based on a Polish TV show about a spy stealing German plans.

Hellboy: The Science of Evil - Story involves Nazi scientists, Nazi robots and Nazi gorillas or something.

Hour of Victory - A FPS set in Europe and North Africa

I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream - One of the playable characters is a former Nazi scientist.

Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis - It’s Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb - It’s Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones' Greatest Adventures - It’s Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade - It’s Indiana Jones.

Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings - It’s Indiana Jones.

The Intercept - Text Adventure about the Enigma decoders.

Into the Eagle’s Nest aka Eagle’s Nest - Gauntlet style game set during WW2

Iron Sky Invasion - NMR

Jang Pung 3 - Something about punching a Nazi Cyborg Dinosaur.

KZ Manager - A series of Concentration Camp simulators.

Kronolog: The Nazi Paradox - Alternative history where the Axis won.

La Croix Pan - Adventure game about an Allied solider.

The Last Resurrection - Some edge-lord nonsense pretending to be satire where Jesus is an anti-Semitic (yes, really) supervillain rapist and Hitler is his right-hand man or something.

Laura Bow: The Dagger Of Amon Ra - Set in 1926 but features a Germany security guard who goosesteps.

Lost Horizon - Point and click adventure game in the style of Indiana Jones with Thule Nazis, though all swastikas are replaced with the Iron Cross because it was made by a German company.

Len Deighton's Blitzkrieg: The Game - From the Rise of Hitler to the Fall of England - RTS where you play as Germany in a fictional scenario where they win the war.

Marine Raider - Text adventure about Allied forces in Japan.

Metal Gear Solid 1 - Hitler is briefly mentioned in dialogue.

Mortyr: 2093-1944 & Mortyr 2 - Alternative History FPS about time travelling to stop Hitler winning WW2.

Mr. T - Something about Mr. T and Will Wright teaming up to fight Nazis,I don’t know either.

Operation Darkness - Fire Emblem style JRPG with vampires and werewolves as well as Nazis and Vampire Nazis.

Opération Teddy Bear - French Edutainment title to teach kids about WW2 history and the French Resistance.

Operation Wolfsburg - FPS about stopping Nazis from doing... something.

Outlast - Nazi scientist research is part of the game’s backstory.

Partisan - Action RPG set during WW2.

Pathways into Darkness - FPS featuring Nazi ghosts.

Pearl Harbor: Attack! Attack! - Alternative history where you shoot down the Japanese planes and prevent the Pearl Harbor bombing.

Persona 2: Innocent Sin - Features Hitler as an antagonist who is actually an eldritch horror in disguise.

Pilot Down: Behind Enemy Lines - Stealth game about a pilot trying to escape to Switzerland

Police Quest IV: Open Season - Something about interrogating a very old Nazi.

Project: Weltuntergang - Mod for Wolfenstein 3D

Raiders of the Lost Ark - It’s Indiana Jones.

The Reckoning - Mod for Mount and Blade: Warband which features a Neo-Nazi faction.

Redcon - You play as an officer in an alternative history fascist future.

Red Shark Franchise - Flight sim involving a time travelling helicopter.

Relic Of War - Strategy game where WW2 didn’t end.

Ring of Red - Alternative history with mecha in WW2.

Rescue Raiders - Helicopter game involving time travel.

Rocket Ranger - Game involving time travel and a Nazi moon base.

The Saboteur - GTA clone set in occupied France.

Secrets of the Vatican: The Holy Lance - Hidden Object Game about trying to get the Lance of Longin (the spear which pierced Jesus’ side during the crucifixion) before the Nazis find it.

Signatory: Chouinsha - I can’t find anything about this old Japanese game but it has Hitler on the front cover.

Spear Resurrection & Spear End of Destiny - Fan made sequels to a Wolfenstein game

A Stroke of Fate: Operation Valkyrie - Adventure game with a German protagonist in the SS and Gestapo who sets out to assassinate Hitler.

The Simpsons Game - Features a level set inside a WW2 shooter.

Soldier of Fortune - FPS where the enemy is a Neo-Nazi Group who have stolen nuclear weapons.,

Southpark: The Stick of Truth - Features Zombie Nazi aborted foetuses, because of course it does.

Super Mario World Dark Horizon - A Super Mario fan game featuring a Super Saiyan Hitler.

Stalag 1 - POW Camp simulator

Stuart Smith's Adventure Construction Set - This early RPG creation kit features a Nazi castle as part of its included settings.

Time Gentlemen, Please! - Involves time travel and alternative history with Hitler and robot dinosaurs.

Titanic: Adventure Out of Time - Point and Click about a retired spy dying in the Blitz travelling back in time to redo a failed mission on the Titanic which will stop WW2 from happening, or something.

The Train: Escape to Normandy - Train simulator about trying to prevent Nazis from getting French paintings.

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty - Alternative History where Nazis invade New York.

ÜberSoldier Franchise aka Crimes of War - About a German soldier who gets super powers and then recruited by the Resistance to fight against Nazis.

Uncharted 1 - Features a U-Boat full of dead Nazis.

Uncharted 2 - Brief references to Hitler.

Undercover: Operation Wintersun - Point and Click adventure set during WW2.

Velvet Assassin - Loosely based on a real British spy. No swastikas because it was made by a German company.

Vogelstein 2D - Top down shooter inspired by Wolfenstein

Walker - Side scrolling WW2 shooter with a walking tank.

War Front: Turning Point - Alternative history RTS where Hitler was assassinated and the Germany and Allied power joined forces to fight against Russia.

Weird Wars: The Unknown Episode of World War II aka Weird Wars: Operation Pantherauge - Polish Isometric RPG involving Nazis and a mystical weapon.

Wolfenstein Franchise -Various reboots turned the series into Alternate History, Jewish-American Protagonist.

Wolfram - Remake of Wolfenstein 3D

Wolfschanze 1 & 2 - FPS inspired by the real life attempted assassination of Hitler by Claus Schenk von Stauffenberg.

World War II: Prisoner of War - Stealth game about escaping a POW camp.

Zombie Army Trilogy aka Sniper Elite: Nazi Zombie Army Franchise

Nazi/Fascist Imagery/Fascist Empires:

Absolute Obedience - This yaoi game is set in Germany and uses a lot of fascist militaristic imagery (also rape) but the exact historical period is unclear (it has the Berlin wall in it, for example,) and is visually all over the place.

Akatsuki Blitzkampf - Japanese Dōjin fighter which uses a lot of fascist militaristic imagery and is clearly inspired by the Axis and Allies of WW2.

Battalion Wars - The Xylvanians are based on the WW1 era German Empire rather than Nazi Germany.

Bioshock Infinite - Despite being set in 1912 Columbia is influenced directly by Nazi Germany in-game because of the time tears. Massively fascist racist society.

Bloodrayne 2 - Set in “modern times” but features a flashback with Nazi imagery and occasional triskelion imagery.

Borderlands Franchise - Handsome Jack is often referred to as a fascist in game, he kills people for no reason, has a massive ego, has huge statues build glorifying him, and wants to kill everyone on Pandora who doesn’t work for him because he has decided they are “savages”.

Bully aka Canis Canem Edit - During the Halloween section Gary’s costume is clearly a Nazi Officer uniform, but without any insignia

Civilization: Beyond Earth - The purity affinity is about glorifying humanity and destroying anything that doesn’t conform.

The Darkness - Apparently features Nazi imagery in a bonus comic which came with the game.

Einhänder - What’s left of the world is run by a German-speaking evil Empire.

Fallout 2 - The Enclave wanted to exterminate everyone who wasn’t part of them, though the later games made them a bit less extreme.

Fallout: New Vegas - Caesar’s Legion attempts to emulate the Roman Empire, complete with hating women, and crucifying all their enemies.

Fallout 4 - The Brotherhood of Steel in this instalment is obsessed with “purity” associated with not being irradiated.

Final Fantasy 2/II - The Empire of Palamecia.

Final Fantasy 6/VI - The Gestahlian Empire is definitely a fascist regime and the Emperor even uses a Nazi salute in game.

Final Fantasy 12/XII - The Archadian Empire.

Final Fantasy 15/XV - The Empire of Niflheim

Final Fantasy Type-0 - The Milites.

The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim - Both the Thalmor and the Stormcloak factions are really into the “racial superiority” of the Altemer and Nords respectively.

Half-Life 2 - The Combine.

Killzone Fracnhise - The Hellghast are obviously based on a mixture of Nazi and Stalinist sources.

Lusternia - This MUD has a fascist empire called the Empire of Magnagora.

Maken X - Apparently the Japanese features Nazi imagery but was censored for American release (not sure if this was deliberate or not in context, given the use of the manji symbol in Japanese culture and religion, but the game also apparently features a boss fight against the Pope, so maybe it was).

Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy - The Movement brainwashes people and has a uniform with red arm bands and jackboots.

Resident Evil Franchise - Almost every antagonist movement in the series has some element of fascism to it, from wanting to “improve” humanity through genetic therapy, to killing off everyone who is not “worthy”, to experimenting bioweapons on African villagers.

Starcraft Franchise - The UPL & UED are into genetic “purity”and purging humanity of “undesirables”.

Star Wars - Any game which features the Sith Empire, but especially The Old Republic MMO.

Tales of Symphonia - The half-elven Desians round up humans and put them in camps for being “inferior”.

Team Fortress - The design of the Medic evokes a Nazi doctor, especially since he has a German accent and refers to himself as “ze ubermensch”.

Tropico Franchise - The Nationalist faction hates foreigners, and in Tropico 4 their leader is depicted as a skinhead.

Under Defeat - Nazi inspired uniforms.

Valkyria Chronicles - Has an evil empire which is a mashup of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union.

Special Mentions and Exceptions:

Assassin’s Creed Franchise - In the lore Hitler was apparently a Templar with a piece of the Apple of Eden, but I’m not sure which game(s) contain Nazi imagery, if any, so needs more research.

Bazooka Bill - Is set during WW2 but all the enemies appear to be ninjas instead of German officers.

LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures - Unlike the films it’s based on, and most of the licensed games, the LEGO game contains no references to Nazis or Nazi imagery. Characters who were Nazis in the originals are referred to as “Enemies” in game instead.

Mass Effect - The Cerberus group is a “humans first” organisation in their first appearance but their portrayal over the three games is inconsistent.

The Secrets of Atlantis: The Sacred Legacy - Set in 1937 but omits direct references to Nazis and swastikas even though the Hindenburg is a location.

[bens-things]

BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2010) dir. Uwe Boll

Rayne is back and fighting Nazis this time.  In the opening fight she accidentally bleeds on one which gives her super-vampire powers to him.  Clint Howard is a Nazi scientist researching vampires.  The Nazi vampire and him team up to start creating more Nazi vampires.  Meanwhile Rayne has teamed up with the local resistance who are dismayed she has accidentally given a Nazi super-vampire powers.  Eventually they all fight in a big ol’ battle.  A visual improvement from the previous movie, but it’s still Uwe Boll so it still features lazy action. The trim run time and an extra long bordello scene filled with nudity cuts down on the amount of time available for action anyways.

[nontonfilmdrama]

BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2011) https://ift.tt/2OHcuK9

[idmoviebox-blog]

BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2010) Rayne fights in opposition to the Nazis in Europe throughout World Warfare II, encountering Ekart Model, a Nazi chief whose goal is to inject Adolf Hitler with Rayne's blood in an try to remodel him right into a dhampir and attain immortality.

[goldengun13]

The NHM-iverse

This is, essentially, an excerpt of the history of BHDN - a little series of anecdotes regarding my involvement with Kyo and his creation of the NHM series of hacks.  My involvement was fairly minor, so don’t think I’m trying to take credit for his masterpiece; however, it has been one of the most interesting episodes in my time with BHDN.

It all started very close to the beginning, on the original Bad Hacks Dot Net around 2008 or so.  The site’s original owner (name redacted), who had seen many an offensive hack, was completely blown away by the content of NHMFTDN.  The original hack was of the Super Mario Bros 1 & Duck Hunt ROM, so finding a file to patch the .ips to was a little bit of a hassle, but completely worth it.

I was a big fan of the original hack when it came out.  Expressing my awe, I ended up emailing Kyo directly.  He turned out to be the coolest, most easy-going guy, in stark contrast to the contents of the hack.  That’s something that I would come to find out more and more as I spent time on BHDN - that the hackers themselves would always have personalities at direct odds with the bizarre or offensive nature of their hacks.  

It was around this time that Kyo revealed that he was working on a new hack, a sequel to NHM, based on Super Mario Bros 2.  He was looking for playtesters at the time, and offered to send me the beta ROM to try out.  I leapt at the chance to try out the latest game before release, and I ended up playing more of it than I ever had of SMB2.  

I gave Kyo some feedback on the hack, as well as some questions about the characters.  I suggested that the weird, robot-looking outline character be given some sort of contrasting color, as the outline was hard to see when in the mirror-verse areas of the game.  Kyo told me that this character was actually “Crazy Grama,” a character he’d created in childhood who existed in a world of incredibly violent kids’ doodles, killing nazis and terrorists with thanks and planes and machine guns.  

For my efforts, Kyo immortalized me by adding several hidden “golden guns” throughout NHM2.  The easiest one to see is hidden in the curtain on the character select screen.  

This was the beginning of a long-lasting friendship that continues to this day.  Kyo has released plenty more hacks since then; and while I haven’t always had a chance to do any play testing, I’ve continued to offer my support never I can.

Now, after NHMFTDN2, Kyo began plans for the third installment of the series.  Knowing Kyo, he had to chose something big.  Instead of the logical choice of hacking SMB3, or even SMW, Kyo jumped two consoles forward and proclaimed that he would be hacking SMB64!  This was an incredible thing to hear, since up until that point anything but NES or SNES hacking was virtually unheard of.  But, true to his word, Kyo began to produce a few alpha builds here and there.  I can’t even remember how many builds he created, then started fresh from scratch (mostly due to hard drive or computer failures), but it was at least two or three.

In this interim time, roughly between 2010 and 2013, I began to discus the NHM-verse with Kyo: Who were the major players, and what were their motivations?  What would the plot of NHM64 be?  Who was the villain?  He offered me a few tantalizing details, essentially all he had come up with at that point.  I offered to write some ideas for him, to which he happily accepted.

I began to brainstorm answers to the biggest questions I had about the NHM series.  Who were the Dick Nazis?  Where did the come from?  What was their motivation to conquer new worlds?  Who was their leader, after HD was kicked out?  I began to sketch a rough outline of ideas.  The Dick Nazis were actual nazis who escaped from Earth in 1945 shortly before the defeat of the Third Reich by use of advanced, experimental portal technology.  Hitler’s Dick himself was to be an actual clone of the real Adolf Hitler - albeit an imperfect one.  My central character who helped pull all of this together was Ilsa Analverker - a female nazi scientist who created the Hitler clone and who designed the portal technology.

I was inspired by old exploitation movies like “Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS,” as well as the crazed nazi experiments in the PS2 game Bloodrayne.  I’d read several articles about German “wunderwaffe,” experimental wonder weapons that were supposed to turn the tide of war in their favor; this also inspired some of my ideas for nazi tech and experiments.  I wrote Ilsa as being pragmatic, resourceful, dedicated, and utterly bloodthirsty when needed.  

The idea for the Hitler clone was based around the old song “Hitler Has Only Got One Ball,” a British WWII song created to make fun of the nazis.  But, in doing further digging, I found that it was actually quite plausible that Hitler really did have only one testicle, following a groin injury he sustained during the Battle of the Somme in the Great War.  Indeed, the Soviet autopsy of der Fuehrer’s remains could only find one testicle!  This gave me the idea that Ilsa would mound a state-sanctioned expedition to France in 1941 to recover the missing gonad, in hopes of using it for a cloning project.  After all, Hitler was surely paranoid about attempts on his life, so having a biological clone would give some extra life insurance to both him and the Reich.  (Reichinsurance?)  

The idea was that, much like some modern cloning techniques where a single cell from an organ can be used to grow a whole replacement organ, Hitler’s missing gonad could be used to grow an entire replacement Hitler.  An outlandish idea to be sure, but the nazis were crazy for outlandish ideas.  Searches for ancient artifacts of power really did occur, and they even enlisted the help of occult masters and alchemists to try to bolster their empire.  So, in my concept, Ilsa would recover Hitler’s missing testicle (remarkably intact after over 20 years) and use it to attempt to grow a second Fuehrer.  However, being the first human clone, there were some... side effects.  The genitalia were a perfect clone, but the body itself... instead of being a human form, it more closely resembled humanoid genitalia with a face.  Oops...

It was around this point in the backstory concept that the Germans started to lose the war.  Fearing the worst, the real Fuhrer ordered Ilsa’s military and scientific force, dubbed the “Hodeninvasion” (rough German for “testicle invasion force) to mobilize to safety.  Ilsa’s side project, a long-range portal, was activated, and the Hodenvasion forces fled to a world on a far side of the universe.

Don’t think that I forgot to add any intrigue or dark moments to the story.  I came up with the idea that Analverker became strangely attracted to the Hitler clone, to the point that they were romantically involved.  I suppose that devotion to one’s Fuehrer knows no limit.  Based on real life-cases of German use of slave labor, I figured that the Hodenvasion base and portal would have been built by concentration camp laborers in deplorable conditions.  

As for what would eventually become the Dick Nazi homeworld, I had the idea that portal scouts had somehow found an exact duplicate of Earth somewhere else in the universe.  The same continents, maybe even the same vegetation and animals, but not humans for whatever reason.  This would surely be the best option for escaping nazis to flee to - even better than Argentina!  

But of course, a new world needs buildings, infrastructure, and all the benefits of a civilization in the midst of the industrial revolution.  While all the scientists can bring plans and designs and schematics for factories and buildings, you need labor to actually create all those things.  So, as you could imagine, the Hodenvasion/ Dick Nazis conscript Jewish concentration camp prisoners to build their new empire on the other side of the portal.  As awful as this would be, I intended it to have quite a bit of irony: Even in their new “aryan” paradise, they could not be free of those they considered to be “untermench.”  

Now, as for how the human Hodenvasion became dick nazis, I didn’t have anything that clear, but part of it all came back to Ilsa.  Being a scientist, I figured she’d have a bit of the Mengele in her, creating biological monstrosities in the pursuit of perfection.  The portal tech itself could have a bad effect, resulting in mutations.  And the new Earth could also have some detrimental effect to human life.  But, I think that perhaps the best idea I had was that the degeneration of the Dick Nazis/ Hodenvasion was self-inflicted.  That their lives became hedonistic, depraved, and inhuman, and that this lifestyle manifested itself physically like a role-reversed Portrait of Dorian Grey.  

There’s more to the story than just that, but this post has already gone on for way longer than I thought it would.  I’ll continue these tales next time!