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ooihcnoiwlerh · 2 years

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Watching Glass Onion

My thoughts below as I watch (I was spoilered in advance and knew what would happen. Still enjoyed it.)

-Lionel, the smartest of the Disruptors who stabbed Andi in the back, seems to think Miles is a genius when he’s clearly not from early on. Also, Miles definitely faxes snippets he hears from other conversations and none of them are original. Or they’re just weird brain farts that succeed only because Lionel’s able to make something salvageable out of them.

-I bet Kate Hudson had a lot of fun playing Birdie. Her character/dynamic with Peg is like something straight out of BoJack Horseman. (”No, they’re all in my pod, it’s fine.” and her being so deliberately obtuse/ignorant/immature.)

- Dave Bautista playing an Andrew Tate type is kind of funny in a meta sense because as far as I’ve seen, he (thankfully) doesn’t hold any of those views in real life and is just the opposite.

- Claire’s an ultimately unlikable/irredeemable character but I do like seeing Kathryn Hahn getting snarky. Cute surprise Yo Yo Ma cameo. I worked with a guy who cooked for him at a restaurant in DC who said that he’s really nice.

- Love the hard cut from the Disruptors getting really excited for “Miles’s” puzzles and working to solve them together to Helen looking at the puzzle, deciding “Nope. This man and this puzzle are not worth my time and I’m not going to give him the satisfaction” and proceeding to smash the shit out of it with a hammer.

-I haven’t seen Knives Out yet (although I definitely will after this, and it had been on my list for a while) so Benoit Blanc’s accent is new and hilarious to me. It’s the Southern equivalent to the French accents from Monty Python and the Holy Grail; ridiculous and over-the-top and funny. More cameos

-”You’re not in the bath again, are you?” “....No.”

- The movie says so much with the different characters by how they approach wearing masks. Blanc correctly wears a cloth mask that coordinates with his outfit. Lionel the scientist wears a medical grade mask, also correctly. Claire the politician wears a mask out of courtesy/image but not correctly. Peg’s masked up and doesn’t want to hug anyone but also doesn’t say anything about how her boss Birdie is wearing a useless decorative mesh mask. Duke and Whiskey don’t bother wearing masks at all and both they and Birdie refuse to respect social distancing. “Andi” is holding a mask as she gets out of the cab, implying she wore it during the ride, but takes the mask off so that the other Disruptors can truly see her full image and whoever the potential murderer is doesn’t get any doubt as to who this is and, let’s be honest, other than perhaps Helen, Blanc, Peg, and Lionel, they don’t seem concerned with the pandemic.

- Either Miles Bron has and is hoarding some kind of covid cure that can be used as a throat spray or the more likely answer: it’s a placebo because he wants to get away with being careless during lockdown even more than he and the Disruptors already are and is just trying to appear like he cares about other people’s health. It’s interesting that Blanc questions the spray and its effectiveness more than the literal scientist. Also, another fun cameo.

-It’s subtle enough that it won’t be distracting for the audience but will amuse people who do notice that Blanc clearly doesn’t have a gag reflex, and in fairness it did make me chuckle.

- “Is that a Banksy?” “Piece of shit.”

- That’s either not Paul McCartney’s guitar because it’s a right-handed guitar and Miles is lying about it to sound impressive or he had it re-stringed just so he could brag about owning the guitar on which Paul McCartney recorded Blackbird. And then he unceremoniously drops it like it’s worthless after making a point to gloat about how priceless it is to Birdie. Amazing character intro, I hate him already.

- Of course it’s the MRA meathead guy who looks the other way in regards to his girlfriend very obviously cheating on him with Miles/pimps her out to Miles so she can secure better job opportunities for him.

- Knowing the ending already I love how Ed Norton played Miles’s shock and horror and complete incomprehension at seeing “Andi.” You see him having absolutely no idea how to process what’s going on and how despite the fact that he and Andi had known each other for ten years and he had to have known Andi had a twin sister, he clearly doesn’t think that could have anything to do with it and just thinks, “I guess I didn’t kill Andi hard enough and need to do it again?”

- Janelle Monae looks so regal and beautiful in that dress with that “dressed to kill” poise Helen’s trying so hard to keep up despite how scared and uncomfortable she is.

-Peg and I have the same reaction to hearing Miles say “inbreathiate”

- Blanc being bewildered that everyone’s just leaving their luggage on the beach until he realizes the Disruptors just take it for granted that “the help” will do everything for them. Not sure if that’s part of the act but still a nice touch.

- Miles Bron, barefoot, calling his fifty-person staff-estate a “commune for creativity” as a robot butler collects everyone’s luggage is probably a hard reality but it’s hilarious; also him giving people rooms “based on chakras” and Birdie being into that

-Am a little fascinated with Miles telling “Andi” that he’s glad she’s there and her reacting coldly. Is he trying to act contrite for her “attempted” murder or trying to seem like he’s innocent and realizes that Andi isn’t falling for it? Like, I want to know the conversation Ed Norton and Janelle Monae had before filming that interaction and ask what they felt their respective characters are thinking in that moment.

- I like how Benoit Blanc is a renowned detective but the moment he starts playing “dumb” and pretending to be naïve, Miles, who knows that Blanc’s a renowned detective, immediately falls for it.

-For such a closely-knit friend-group, these people really don’t like each other. The only Disruptors who seem like they’re still actually friends are Claire and Lionel.

-HOLY SHITBALLS BLANC’S SWIM OUTFIT. A FUCKING FULL-BODY STRIPED SWIMSUIT WITH AN ASCOT? FUCKING FASHION ICON. Oh, and him just standing chest-deep in the pool while holding a drink? What an icon. Love this guy.

-I can’t wait until Miles’s condescending speech gets used against him, especially since he throws Andi under the bus as he makes his redpill speech. I will relish it.

- Birdie, how many times do you need to get the hint that Blanc’s not interested and you’re making him uncomfortable? (And he’s canonically gay but he doesn’t owe her that explanation.)

- Peg looks at “Andi” with open admiration/potentially lust and honestly, same. Also enjoy Peg’s reaction shots. She clearly loathes these people, including Birdie. Really wish she’d cut her losses and quit.

- Birdie, Blanc isn’t calling you dangerous. He’s calling you shallow, insensitive, and careless.

- This movie, while it has some dark/dramatic moments, really is funny. The asscheek statue, the hourly dong, Blanc panicking and throwing his cigar into the water.

- The movie does say a lot without getting too much into it the contempt everyone has for anyone considered working class or “the help.” Peg’s been Birdie’s loyal assistant for about a decade, has been to these get-togethers, and knows Miles and yet not only does she not even get to drink out of a glass (even if it’s not a personalized glass) he makes her drink out of a plastic cup like she’s at a frat party instead of a multi-billionaire’s estate, and has never bothered to learn her name. And Birdie sees this, is aware of this, and doesn’t see the problem or treat Peg as a human being, either. After a decade of putting out all of her many fires and baby-sitting her. Lionel and Claire both have a brief blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment earlier in the movie in which they acknowledge/are nice to her but see how badly Birdie and Miles treat Peg and don’t challenge it.

-Maybe it’s because I watched Mrs. Fletcher, in which Kathryn Hahn’s character’s alcoholic beverage of choice is white wine with ice and maybe it’s because I wait on/bartend a fair amount of reasonably affluent/wealthy women who have specific instructions on how they like their white wine, but was a little amused at how Claire specifically likes “room temperature Pinot Grigio.”

- Just realized Miles probably poisoned “Andi’s” drink and it’s only because Helen is a teetotaler and also wants to keep a clear head for the evening that she survives.

-While Miles is not a mirror of every nepotism baby who has no true friends and no original ideas, it has to mean that he comes from money in that his mother took him the Louvre at the age of six when he’s an American? I’m an American myself born in ‘93 and both of my parents worked full time but there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that they could’ve afforded a family vacation to any location in Europe let alone Paris. Miles was likely born in the late 60s, early 70s and still would’ve had to have to have been born to fairly well-off parents. Two of my best friends who are former roommates and international military brats were both born in ‘69 lived, briefly in Europe, and never saw the Louvre. Also the audacity to override the Louvre’s security measures so he “doesn’t have to look at the Mona Lisa behind glass.”

- Lionel and Claire are horrified by Klear but still sign off on it for money because they’re too deep in and they keep acting like they’re the voice of reason but they still agreed to this and even though I know the ending I keeping hoping they’ll be better than their greed.

-I could feed off of Miles’s pouting resentment and sulking both times so far Blanc has “accidentally” insulted his intellect first by calling the first-scene puzzle “a child’s game” and for solving Miles’s murder mystery within two minutes of hearing about it and with no clues whatsoever. It’s especially funny since everyone’s praising Miles’s intellect when it’s made explicitly clear that he didn’t design the puzzle nor did he write out the murder mystery and yet still is so entitled he acts as though his intellect, which is nonexistent and he didn’t lend to either of these things, has been undermined. And that Blanc, still playing the naïve and socially inept goof, is well aware of the fact that his comments and intellect bruise Miles’s narcissistic and yet fragile ego and is probably having a lot of fun doing it.

- Janelle Monae having a couple of moments where you hear a little bit of Helen’s natural Southern accent when she’s really upset as she’s masquerading as Andi is *chef’s kiss* and Andi probably also had a little bit of a hidden Southern accent that probably came out in small doses during emotional or vulnerable moments so it’s not surprising that it wouldn’t be a tell.

- “I want the truth!”

-Miles did in fact hand Duke the drink that killed him. Also, a bit fitting that a man with a deathly food allergy to a common food item insists on keeping a gun on him even when swimming but never bothers to carry at least one epi pen.

-Miles literally murdered a man and is shocked that a detective thinks to call the cops this is incredible.

- I appreciate how, except for his girlfriend who didn’t even like him very much, all of Duke’s friends are more concerned for how it will look for their reputations to be associated with his death even as an innocent standby than the fact that he died. And once again, the moment anything doesn’t go exactly his way, Miles panics and goes on impulse instead of thinking anything through and only kind of stumbles onto something afterwards. Also, him scampering off the moment anyone other than Benoit approaches Duke’s corpse. He’s so bad at hiding anything! It’s incredible he gets away with so much

- I was prepared for this but it really is delightful that Blanc has a posh English husband played by Hugh Grant who spends quarantine making sourdough starter. Also a cute little costuming detail that Blanc gets fully dressed, complete with a necktie to meet with Helen, but still wears a bathrobe over his clothes.

- Janelle Monae’s consistent, realistic Southern accent as Helen that does sound like it’s from one specific region from the South vs Daniel Craig’s hilarious, all-over-the-place Foghorn Leghorn Southern accent. Let’s discuss.

- “Heavens. The dog ate the caviar again.”

- Helen is so goddamn brave and I love her.

- The fact that Miles is such an inept and clueless murderer who only gets by on privilege and luck that Blanc doesn’t suspect Miles as Andi’s killer because it would be too inept and dumb of a murder, though

- It does kind of make me wonder--did Lionel and Claire want to be a positive force in the world once? Were they better people before easy money from Miles made them take ethical shortcuts or were they always weak and corruptible people who just wanted a meal ticket? They’re clearly more conflicted about Miles’s actions than Duke and Birdie and feel more guilty about betraying Andi, but they still chose money and convenience over ethics. I mean, that’s a big message of this movie; these morally questionable/bankrupt people at times wanted to do the right thing, but chose greed and corruption over their conscience. But I guess I liked Leslie Odom Jr’s and Kathryn Hahn’s performances so much that I was curious as to their approaches to the roles and how they took their respective characters’ corruption.

- Helen being terrified because of the high risks as well as getting seasick as well as accidentally getting tipsy because she didn’t realize the kombucha she was drinking had alcohol in it and still managing to mostly confuse everyone is amazing and shows not just her intellect and quick thinking but the love and commitment she has for her twin no matter how uncomfortable the situation gets. Blanc says himself that she has a natural talent for sleuthing.

- “That is hahd kamboocha! That is Jared Letos’ hahd kamboocha!”

- Oh heavens, the foreshadowing.

- the detail that Serena Williams is one of the world’s greatest living athletes and Miles still hires her to do nothing except do personal training if someone is there did get a chuckle out of me

- “If I ever meet Jared Leto, I’m gonna whoop his kombucha-brewing ass”-Helen realizing she accidentally got tipsy off of his kombucha and also I would watch Helen beat the living shit out of Jared Leto

- I know the only redeemable characters in this movie, realistically, are Helen, Andi, and Blanc but I do feel bad for Peg.

-”Birdie...please tell me you did not think sweatshops are where they make...sweatpants.” *Annoyed, unapologetic shrug.* “Oh my Go-o-od.”

- Andi’s notebook indirectly saving Helen is apparently a parallel to Knives Out, in which a prop shows the heroine surviving killing odds because of someone who loved them. Again, I need to watch Knives Out.

- “Miles Bron is an idiot.” “No one tried to kill you, you vainglorious buffoon.”

- A bit depressing that Peg and Whiskey, who didn’t actively stab Andi in the back, are still imbued enough with the Disruptors that they also ignore any kind of conscience they have for greater opportunities, but not surprising.

- Miles looking at Helen, again, undoubtedly knowing that Andi had a twin sister, and clearly thinking, “What the fuck, is Andi a terminator? How many times do I have to kill her??”

- Miles is so reckless, egotistical, and fucking dumb. He specifically asked for people’s food allergies and killed Duke in front of their friends with his own food allergy and only succeeded because Duke was too proud to carry a couple of epi pens in case of an emergency. This is on top of the fact that he murdered his high-profile former friend and business partner all because he just assumed it would be covered up because he’s a multi-billionaire and he thinks everyone is as much of an idiot as he is. “No! It’s just dumb!” indeed. It doesn’t even occur to him that it’s Helen who’s alive in front of him until Blanc spells it out and you can tell from his reactions.

- Speaking of which, Ed Norton eats in this movie. He’s amazing as a sleazy, smug, greedy, narcissistic scumbag. I love to hate him every moment he’s on screen and he’s always great as a villain but especially in this.

- “Heavens to...you dimwitted, brainless jackass! Your one murder with any panache at all, and you stole the whole idea from me!”

- Miles doesn’t even get the idea to burn the napkin on his own. Lionel, completely and justifiably mystified, goes, “You didn’t just...burn it?”

- Oh, but how cowardly the Disruptors are when they think Miles will win everything even though they know he’s a monster and are horrified by what he did.

-”Totally circumspective evidence”--Benoit rolling his eyes. Same. Also, apparently Miles Bron is not based on Elon Musk and their similarities are coincidental but Elon Musk stans saw this dumb fucking loser and went, “This talentless, unoriginal, evil person is definitely my precious boy” and that is amazing.

-Oh, but how incredible it is, that moment in Helen’s eyes that go from heartbreak and grief and anger, knowing she’ll never get proper justice for Andi to that moment of, “But fuck it. Revenge is also a viable solution.” I could live in it. That switch in which she’s like, “He’ll never be held accountable for literal murder. Time to burn it all down” and in fact does.

-Also turns out I was wrong about the poisoned whiskey soda theory--she drinks it and then raises hell. Miles is just so dumb, impulsive, and reckless I didn’t put it past him.

-I also like that Blanc realizes that proper legal justice is futile but also that Miles deserves every negative thing coming his way and knows when to let Helen take the reigns.

- “You would lie for a lie but you wouldn’t lie for the truth?”

- No, Whiskey. You don’t get to try to kill Helen and screw her over and act like you’re friends and comrades. Same goes for the rest of you shitheads. And yet the fact that these people never truly liked Miles shines through makes them all feel empowered up to a certain point until they realize that their cowardice and greed and association with him will cost them personally and then they become cowards again.

- Self-fulfilling prophecy, Miles, you motherfucker. Also the transition from him being completely unfazed (both by Helen breaking the ugly glass sculptures and the fact that everyone joins in at first and that none of his friends actually like him) to horror is deeply satisfying to watch. Everyone goes, “But you went too far” as if Miles didn’t literally murder Helen’s sister after stealing credit for her life’s work. No, actually. She’s the only real disruptor here

-She fucking blows up the Glass Onion! (also Blanc just handing Klear to her like, “I won’t, but you should.”)

- Is Daryl meant to be a metaphor for Covid? He enters the picture with a case of Coronas going, “I’m not here” and is there when Helen blows up the Glass Onion because no way is the throat coat actually going to protect any of these people from, Covid and chances are Birdie (and Peg, by association) Duke, Whiskey or Miles (or maybe Claire) infected everyone.

- His one-of-a-kind car that follows him everywhere is ruined too. Good.

-I can’t tell you how hard I laughed when Miles realizes that he rented the Mona Lisa and it’s on fire so now he’ll forever be known as the man who destroyed one of Europe’s greatest paintings. Also I know there’s discourse on whether or not it’s the actual Mona Lisa. For the sake of this movie I’ll say it is; the Louvre was that impressed with Miles’s money and that the catharsis is that, in the Knives Out universe, that Miles ruined his own image by ruining the Mona Lisa.

-I know it’s a movie but Helen running on broken glass while wearing sandals freaked me out for a moment, even though it is pretty urgent.

“You’ll forever be remembered in the same breath as the Mona Lisa.”

- Oh wait Helen had to point out to him that he’ll forever be known as the guy who destroyed the Mona Lisa. Amazing.

-This has been pointed out before but I did see what you did there: Cassandra predicted the fall of Troy despite no one believing her and Helen precipitated it.

- They’ll all burn him to save themselves now that he’s not their sugar daddy, which is obvious. I’m kind of curious to see how they’d try to salvage their careers after this, but I’m pretty sure we won’t find out. Benoit Blanc movies so far work like Mad Max movies, and he’ll be the ally/helper to another working class woman who exposes a corrupt and greedy wealthy group of people and any Helen/Marta fanfics will be strictly on AO3. And here. Also I’m here for it.

-Miles Bron you fucking idiot. You piece of shit. Hell’s bells you really actively planned to murder your former business partner/best friend as you sent her a puzzle invitation to celebrate a murder mystery-themed party. I...incredible. Not in a good way. In a “bought the Mona Lisa on a whim and let it burn to the ground” kind of way.

- Okay, I know the look on Helen’s face is meant to be a million things, because it evokes the Mona Lisa but still. As far as she knows, since she wasn’t there to hear that the Disruptors have agreed to burn Miles in court, she didn’t really get to clear her sister’s name and that’s probably the biggest source of pain for her. That said she did get to obstruct a deeply dangerous fuel source by the incompetent piece of shit that murdered her sister and ruin his public image. It’s probably a mix of catharsis and a lack of it. Either way, I enjoyed the movie and will watch it again as well as Knives Out.

#knives out #glass onion #janelle monae #daniel craig #benoit blanc #ed norton #kathryn hahn #leslie odom jr #dave bautista #rian johnson #glass onion spoilers

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52booksproject · 1 year

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Book 47: You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

Random letter generator spat out EM so I chose Akwaeke Emezi's You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty. It's a raunchy (in a good way) romance novel with a lot of depth.

I admit one of my guilty pleasures is reading Reddit's Am I the Asshole forum, which if you're not familiar people submit situations they've been in and the readers vote on whether they were acting like an asshole in the situation or not. Or at least that's how it's supposed to be, a lot of the entries are fake and it's really hard to tell which are which. Anyway, sometimes some of them feel like writing exercises in having the worst possible titles "AITA because I burned down an orphanage?" and yet somehow justifying it in the text. Well, in a lot of ways this book reminded me of that. [minor spoiler] "AITA for ditching my boyfriend for his hot, rich, celebrity dad?" and yet getting justified in the text.

It's a good read, it's a hot romance novel, but it deals with the topic of grief and survivor's guilt, etc all very well. It name dropped a lot of real people that my sorry white ass didn't know, but a well versed Black reader might (eg. Concha Buika and Helen Oyeyemi). And then some references I did get like Bojack Horseman and Bob's Burgers. It feels very hip, and modern.

Best Line: "I'm just trying to find out if it fucks like a duck"

SHOULD YOU READ THIS BOOK: I'd recommend it. If you absolutely don't read romance, or don't want to read something with dirty words you can give it a pass, but it's fun and deep all at the same time.

ART PROJECT:

Two pivotal scenes take place at an island sunrise, so I thought I'd give that a go.

#Akwaeke Emezi #you made a fool of death with your beauty #hot romance #rng

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notinmyvocab · 2 years

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top ten tv episodes!

Dreams in Witch House from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I wish the whole series carried this format of like, monster of the week. Good standalone episode. Also... Lilith's green robe.

Vincent and the Doctor from Doctor Who. I do not like the Matt Smith era of Doctor Who. I love this episode though.

The Harrowing from Inside No. 9. I blame @madamoiselledewinter for getting me into this show. This is my favorite episode. It's spooky, it's funny, it has Helen McCrory. And Hector is not a vampire, he just plays guitar.

Airborne from House M.D. It's the first time we see House work without a team and I'm a sucker for horror on airplanes.

Finding Judas from House M.D. Cuddy is suddenly the guardian of an eight year old and I just love the concept. It's so fanficcy.

The Witch's Familiar from Doctor Who. Missy pushes Clara down a pit. I love Missy.

Dada Patrol from Doom Patrol. We meet the sisterhood of Dada, and find out how complex Laura really is. This show is the only superhero related thing that I actually like.

Hitchcock Double from The Flight Attendant. Miranda and Cassie working together, hilarity ensues.

The View from Halfway Down from Bojack Horseman. The writing is sublime. The poem hits hard. And Sarah Lynn's song slaps.

Tunnel of Love from Hacks. Ava has a sex dream about Deb and we get to see them makeout in her dream. amazing.

#thank you!#this was actually hard #because I don't watch a lot of shows

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monstermaster13 · 2 years

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MM13'S TF Preferences:

Characters I'd Love To TF Into: Any Dan Aykroyd character (human characters mostly but Beldar is allowed too, even if it's Grocer, Wade Motch or Tom Everett, Aykroyd is my favorite SNL cast member), any Tim Burton character but either any character that was played by Johnny Depp, Adam Maitland, Betelgeuse, or the Hessian (you can also make me Max Shreck, Danny Devito's Penguin, any of the apes from the POTA remake, and heck one of my avatars was Otho Fenlock, it would be interesting to see what you could do with that, i've always wondered what having the voice of the late Glenn Shadix would be like), Jebediah Morningside/Tall-Man (Phantasm), Dawn Bellwether (Zootopia), Santanico Pandemonium (From Dusk Till Dawn), Jerry Dandridge (Fright Night 1985), Herbert West (Reanimator) - I am mad about Jeffrey Combs so it would be awesome to be Herbert West (or Milton Dammers or HP Hatecraft), Freddy Krueger (A Nightmare On Elm Street), Ludban (Leprechaun), Genie (Aladdin, only Robin Williams will do. I wouldn't mind being any of Robin's other roles either), Lady Amalthea (Last Unicorn), Lady Dimitrescu (Resident Evil: Village), Ash Williams (Evil Dead franchise), Hades (Hercules), Collector (Demon Knight), any Kyle Machlachlan character but in particular Dale Cooper or Paul Atreides, Salazzle, Lopunny (both in anthro form would work just fine), Angela Franklin (Night Of The Demons), Elvira (Elvira: Mistress of the Dark), Any South Park character (i'd like to try something with the adult versions of the kids from the recent specials), Any Simpsons Character (Treehouse of Horror is a must) teen versions of the Ghoul School Girls from Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School, Any Monster High character, Abe Sapien (Hellboy), Morticia Addams (Addams Family/Addams Family Values), Jareth (Labyrinth), Pinhead (Hellraiser), Annie Wilkes (Misery), Helen Hyde (Doctor Jekyll and Ms Hyde), Any Stallone character but in particular John Spartan (Demolition Man), Felicia (Darkstalkers), Bowsette, Any Bojack Horseman character (Beatrice, Bojack, Hollyhock or maybe any of the other animal-people chaacers too), Any Sing character but Buster Moon in particular, Carrigan Crittenden (Casper), Mirage (Aladdin tv series), Randall Flagg, humanoid style werewolves think Teen Wolf or Big Wolf On Campus, humanoid/anthro style Pokemon, Honey Monster (Sugar Puffs, either the actual HM himself or a Honey Monster in general).

Would Enjoy It: Akasha (Queen Of The Damned), Iago (Aladdin) - I like the idea of making Iago anthro or humanoid and well I cannot say no to having Gilbert Gottfried's voice, Scar (Lion King) - I have an anthro version of Scar I did a picture of (I made him a professor in my 'Prideland University' concept which is basically if the Lion King's characters were anthro and went to college), Professor Ratigan (Great Mouse Detective) - highly underappreciated, would be good to be him or Basil (or that sexy Miss Kitty mouse too), Lillith (Bordello Of Blood), Minerva Mink (Animaniacs), Julie Bruin (Tiny Toon Adventures), Seth Brundle (The Fly 1986), Grandmaster (Thor: Ragnarok), Philoctetes (Hercules) - Yes, to Danny Devito, yes...yes, yes. Selene (Underworld), any alien character from a movie or show but in particular Jumba or Pleakley or Gantu for example (Lilo and Stitch) and also maybe Mork from Mork and Mindy, Pete (Disney), Any Biker Mice character but Vinnie in particular (i'm also considering Lawrence Limburger or a plutarkian in general, but i'm having trouble deciding on how i'd do it), Sil (Species), Peggy Bundy (Married With Children), Weyoun (Star Trek: DS9). Anthro version of any MLP character (I have a whole section of humanoid/anthro MLP characters you can choose from or ones I can choose from, but i'd like to be Discord, Chrsaylis/Chrissy or King Sombra or Tirek or Cheese Sandwich, can't beat Weird Al), Any of Jay Leno's Tonight Show characers (Iron Jay, Mr Brain or Evil Jay perhaps), Kronk or Kuzco (Emperor's New Groove), Gaston (Beauty and the Beast), Serleena (Men In Black II), Live-action Grinch, Vacendak (Freejack), Mystique (Marvel), Lee (Critters 2), Djinn (Wishmaster), Jennifer Check (Jennifer's Body), Megamind (Megamind), Ursula (Little Mermaid), Edna Turnblad (Hairspray 2007), Mona Lisa Vito (My Cousin Vinny), Lisle Von Rhuman (Death Becomes Her), Seth Gecko (From Dusk Till Dawn), Buffy Summers (Buffyverse), Ahmanet (The Mummy 2017), Candy Kong, Tigra (Marvel), any Corey Feldman character, but specifically teen or adult Feldman characters, Vypra (Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue), Jack Burton (Big Trouble In Little China, the three storms or Lo Pan or Gracie Law would be good too, in case you're wondering my favorite of the storm is Thunder). Mileena (Mortal Kombat), Pennywise (It), any Star Wars alien species, any Warcraft species, but in particular Pandaren. Any species from the Star Trek franchise but definitely Klingon, Caitian, Romulan, Vorta.

Would Definitely Find It Interesting: Shao Lin (Captain Simian and The Space Monkeys), Donkey Kong or Funky Kong (Donkey Kong), Thirty-Thirty (Bravestarr), Beast (Beauty and the Beast, as long as it's not too focused on lovey-dovey stuff and actually has some action and other elements I like), Demona (Gargoyles), Any Flushed Away character, Darkness (Legend), Salvatore Moreau (Resident Evil: Village), Any Xenaverse character (i'm not picky, but I definitely gravitate towards Xena herself, Callisto, or Autolycus), Jara (Beetleborgs/Beetleborgs Metallix), Horribelle (Beetleborgs/Beetleborgs Metallix), Flabber (Beetleborgs/Beetleborgs Metallix), Kimberly Hart (Power Rangers), Toxica (Power Rangers Wild Force), Nefaria (Masked Rider), Astronema (Power Rangers In Space), Chuds...just Chuds in general, Assett (Shape Of Water), Smithy (Gavin and Stacey) - Okay, you can turn me into a James Corden character or James himself if you wish but i'm not very good at acting like James so you'll have to either teach me or i'll teach myself to do it, Amilyn (Buffy the Vampire Slayer 1992, any Buffyverse character would work well with me to be honest even if it's from the movie).

Would If Under Certain Circumstances: Louis (The Princess And The Frog), if I get to be Louis can I at least be a headcanon version of him I made in which he is a human turned alligator and in anthro form as opposed to a non-morphic talking magical alligator? Pegasus (Hercules), the thing is when I want to be Pegasus i'll choose anthro or if normal Pegasus i'd like to at least have some action, no lovey-dovey stuff for too long or I might get violently ill, besides...what good is being a heroic demigod's best friend if you cannot go on adventures? Maximus (Tangled), anthro please and i'd like for him to be able to speak, Sulley (Monsters Inc) - as long as nothing too out of character and nothing sexual and no lovey-dovey stuff because remember Sulley is more than just a snuggling machine. Also Randall must be involved too and must be given a redemption arc.

Uhhhh...No, Don't Want This: Non-morphic Pokemon, non-morphic style werewolves that sometimes run on two legs, 100% Wolf (I don't like that particular franchise), any celebrity from the 40's-60's, Tug (Brother Bear). The thing is I don't dislike bear transformations I just find that outside of hibernating and eating there's nothing much to being a bear so I would very much be bored if I got stuck as a bear character anyway, I don't understand how he and the other clearly non-morphic animals can talk I can get how Kenai can do it, but how come he can? Baloo (Jungle Book), the only exception is the Talespin version because at he's anthro and wears clothes in that universe (no non-morphic Jungle Book characters please, only anthro or humanoid versions, if you have to go with one species from that movie, primates only), Tiger Dancers (Zootopia)- they're overdone and I don't want it to be like that one piece with the tiger dancers essentially pulling an Agent Smith and creating clones of themelves by turning others, Fire Emblem characters (tried it, didn't like it and not too keen on the art designs, either make Kaden more half fox-like or don't include him or any Fire Emblem character at all), Simba (anthro only please and the last time I did something Simba related it got kind of uncomfortable), Homestuck characters - i'll only do Homestuck if I can do my own version of it where the characters look like actual human beings since I don't know how to even do a tf into how they normally look like or how to describe it also nothing overly predatorial (you heard me. I don't want any overly rapey subtext with Jade Harley, she's too good to be treated like that), Queen Ellinor (Brave, don't like her as a woman and as a bear, didn't like having to be her OTP in a tf rp and didn't like having to be a bear, so please don't include her), Norm (Norm of the North) - no Norm of the North period, I don't know why some people think non-morphic animals are sexy, so I wouldn't want to be him, Toothless (How To Train Your Dragon) - I got burned on out doing Night Fury stuff ages ago and will only do it if I can do anthro night-furies or night-fury-girls (half human/half night fury dragonesses) and don't have to do any cutesy wutesy momma and baby stuff/lovey-dovey stuff, Puro (Changed), please...DO NOT do anything related to Changed with me, the only way i'll ever do Changed is if I can parody it or do my own headcanon version of it or my own version of it which addresses the issues I have with said game, Gloria (Madagascar). Either make the Madagascar cast anthro or don't include them at all, don't try to do anything sexual with Gloria, I feel uncomfortable with non-morphic animal character x human character pairings plus I don't think she's sexy. Creepypasta characters (don't know that many and the only ones I know are Jeff, The Rake and Laughing Jack, I can do FNAF but only if I can use my anthro/living versions of them).

#Monstermaster13 #TF Wishlist #Preferences

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cannondisabledcharacters · 2 years

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Today’s disabled character of the day is Helen Chavez from Bojack Horseman, who has kidney failure

[Image Description: Drawing of a women laying in a hospital bed next to a monitor. She has short curly brown hair and black eyes. She is wearing light purple eye shadow and a white hospital gown.]

#ESRD character #Bojack Horseman #Bojack Horseman helen #Helen Chavez #disabled character of the day

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spookymultimedia · 3 years

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Stuff I drew today

Lovecore Lesbian Maude my beloved

#the simpsons #the simpsons fanart #reverend lovejoy #timothy lovejoy #maude flanders #helen lovejoy #homer simpson #todd bojack horseman

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incorrect-magnus · 4 years

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Helen, about to die: Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?

#the magnus archives #tma #incorrect #quotes #podcast #Helen #S5 spoilers #source: BoJack Horseman

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incorrectcecqutoes · 4 years

Conversation

Chuck E: "Why are you helping me?"

Helen: "Because my life is a mess and I instinctively help others when I don't know how to take care of myself."

#chuck e cheese #helen henny #s: bojack horseman

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powerpolyculeshowdown · 1 year

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Round 1 Match-Ups

I made 2 brackets and cut both in half in hopes this will make it easier to zoom in and read, but there's no side A or side B, which is why they aren't facing each other.

(reminder, i am willing to change stuff up if ppl ask nicely, so you can ask but there's not guarantee that i'll do it - these were randomized)

Masterpost has been updated, but here's a list of the match ups under the cut:

Kieran/Ray/Gemma (Trigonometry) vs Nicky/Joe/Andy/Booker/Niles (Old Guard)

Eugene/Rapunzel/Cassandra (Tangled the Series) x Sasha/Anne/Marcy (Amphibia)

Neal/Peter/Elizabeth (White Collar) x Jade/Dave/Karkat (Homestuck Epilogues)

Anzu/Kazuki/Junta (Romantic Killers) x Pyrrha/Commander Wake/Gideon The First (The Locked Tomb)

Syenite/Innon/Alabaster (Broken Earth) x Breq/Mercy of Karl/Seivarden/Ekalu (Imperial Radch)

Taylor/Theo/Josey (3) x Tessa/Will/Jem (The Infernal Devices)

Kieran/Cristina/Mark (The Dark Artifices) x Sofiane/Victor/Luisa (Mortel)

Jack/August/Rina (The Wicker King) x La’gann/Coral/Rodunn (Young Justice)

Roguish Semiotician/Infamous Mathematician/Player Character (Fallen London) x Alphonse/Seth/Listener (Bittersweet)

Emiya/Saber/Rin (Fate Stay/Night) x Winter/Moon/Qibli (Wings of Fire)

Amber/Reese/David (Adaptation) x Jack/Emma/Izzy (You Me Her)

Camina/Michio Pa/Serge/ Berthold/Oksana (The Expanse) x Enrique/Hypnos/Sofia (The Gilded Wolves)

Max/Jack/Anne (Black Sails) x Keiko/Miles/Kira (Star Trek)

Shikimori/Izumi/Ai (Shikimori is Not Just Cute) x Quincey Morris/Jack Seward/Arthur Holmwood/Lucy Westenra (Dracula)

Camille/Nyra/Dendro (Muted) x Turtle Heart/Melena/Frex (Wicked)

Storm/Helen/Mira (Love and Luck Podcast) x Neptune/Venus/Jupiter (We Know the Devil)

Nathan/Vlad/Ursula (Hunger Pangs) x Leif/Thorn/Kale (Leif and Thorn)

Haruka/Michiru/Setsuna (Sailor Moon) x Ichika Hoshino/Saki Tenma/Shiho Hinomori/Honami Mochizuki (Project SEKAI)

Sadie/Walt/Anubis (The Kane Chronicles) x Sherlock/Watson/Mary (Sherlock Holmes movies)

Dianda/Simon/Patrick (October Daye) x Caleb/Astrid/Eadwulf (Critical Role)

Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot (High Noon Over Camelot) x Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki/Nagisa Minase (Girlfriend Girlfriend)

Dashawn/Steve/Jose/Cupe R III/Otto/Arturo/Gregory/Quackers McQuack (Bojack Horseman) x Fluorite (Steven Universe)

Logan/Jean Grey/Scott/Emma (X-Men) x Uzui/Hinatsuru/Makio/Suma (Demon Slayer)

Eddie/Venom/Anne/Dan (Venom) x Ben/Ryn/Maddie (Siren)

Nathan/Gabriel/Annalise (The Bastard Son and the Devil Himself) x Peter Quill/Aradia/Mors (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Aizo/Yujiro/Hiyori (HoneyWorks) x Kyle/Rogelio/Lonnie (She Ra)

Princess Glisselda/Seraphina/Lucien (Seraphina) x Tess/Jacomo/Margarethe (Tess of the Road)

Daniel/Sam/Jack/Teal’c (Stargate SG-1) x Quanxi/Pingsti/Cosmo/Long/Tsugihagi (Chainsaw Man)

Wu Zetian/Li Shimin/Gao Yizhi (Iron Widow) x Tree Trunks/Mr. Pig/Alien Husband (Adventure Time)

Miss Piggy/Kermit/Gonzo (Muppets) x Rajan/Wolfgang/Kala (Sense8)

Megaera/Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades) x Rilla/Arum/Damien (Penumbra Podcast)

George/Gilda/Thomas (Design for Living) x Asmodeus Alice/Clara Valac/Iruma Suzuki (Mairimashita, Iruma-kun!)

#canonpolyculeshowdown #brackets

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incorrect-sanctuary-quotes · 7 years

Conversation

Helen: Why are you calling me on your day off?

Ashley: I need your help. I’ve done something bad, very bad.

Helen: Put the corpse on ice, I’m on my way.

Ashley: What? No, it’s not. Why would I-

#sanctuary #helen magnus #ashley magnus #source: bojack horseman

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little-specificity · 4 years

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All the movies, TV shows, video games, books and people I’ve reblogged/posted things about

I made this post exclusively for organizational purposes (my own peace of mind) because I’m apparently insane.

If you want to see all the tags you’ve used on your own blog, I recommend this site.

I also tag characters, pairings and some comments, but the list would be ridiculously long if I added those tags too.

Movies

500 Days of Summer

Batman Begins

Army of the Dead

Atonement

Brokeback Mountain

Bronson

Dallas Buyers Club

Community

Constantine

Cruella

Don Jon

Ex Machina

Going In Style

Harry Potter (tagged as hp)

High School Musical (all movies)

I Care a Lot

I Love You Phillip Morris

Inception

Inglourious Basterds

It Comes at Night

Kingsman (both movies)

Knives Out

Locke

Mad Max: Fury Road

MCU (all movies and tv shows)

Mean Girls

Midnight in Paris

Moonlight

Nobody Knows I’m Here

Project Power

Ratatouille

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Snatch

Swiss Army Man

The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight Rises

The Gentlemen

The Great Gatsby

The Hunger Games (all movies)

The Magnificent Seven

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

The Old Guard

The Shape of Water

The Witch

Twilight

Venom (both movies)

Warrior

X-Men (all movies, tagged as x men)

TV Shows

Avatar: The Last Airbender

BoJack Horseman

Breaking Bad

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Criminal: UK

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

Fleabag

GLOW

Lost

Mad Men

MCU (all tv shows)

Merlin

Parks and Recreation

Peaky Blinders

Squid Game

Supernatural

The Good Place

The Legend of Korra

Real People

Adam Scott

Alex Turner

Amy Poehler

Anne Hathaway

Anya Taylor-Joy

Armie Hammer

Aubrey Plaza

Brian David Gilbert

Brie Larson

Christina Hendricks

Christopher Nolan

Cillian Murphy

Dua Lipa

Elizabeth Debicki

Elizabeth Olsen

Emily Blunt

Helen McCrory

Henry Cavill

Jade Thirlwall

Jameela Jamil

James Mcavoy

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Leonardo DiCaprio

Lil Nas X

Louis Tomlinson

Marina Diamandis

Misha Collins

One Direction

Rachel Weisz

Rashida Jones

Robert Pattinson

Tom Hardy

Books

Flowers in the Attic

Harry Potter (tagged as hp)

The Hunger Games

The Namesake

Video Games

Borderlands 3

Dying Light

The Walking Dead (tagged as the walking dead game)

Dying Light 2

Left 4 Dead

Left 4 Dead 2

Team Fortress 2

Podcasts

Welcome to Night Vale

Other Tags

Ask

Ask memes

Cats

Dani talks

Fanfiction

In the tags

Made by me

Misc

Oc and yn stories

Picrew

Tagged

Uquiz

Writing

Writing and fandom events

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bxstvrd · 4 years

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ENTER STAGE RIGHT... JONAH PRYCE AS “THE VILLAIN”

content warnings for: infidelity, disassociation, emotional abuse, gaslighting, disordered eating / body image issues

FULL APP // PINTEREST // WANTED CONNECTIONS

&& basics–– full name: jonathan alexander pryce sinclair age: twenty-one (sensitive little cancer, his birthday’s july 1st) sexuality: bisexual baby (literally bc he’s still parsing all of this / figuring out this part of his identity) gender & pronouns: cis, he/him/his character comps: kendall roy ( succession ), the man in black ( westworld ), bojack horseman ( bojack horseman ), adam groff ( sex education ), tim riggins ( friday night lights ), max evans ( roswell new mexico ) full statistics page here

&& history––

jonah’s got legacies on both sides of his family. his father, william pryce, is the heir of a meat distribution company based in pennsylvania that’s become one of the largest beef distributors in the continental united states. his mother, charlotte sinclair, is from old money that’s now tied up in several magazines / newspapers in the tristate area

his whole childhood, he could never figure out why william hated him so much, why william would never give him an ounce of paternal love, not the way he did with jonah’s brothers. and then one night, in a drunken tirade, william reveals: jonah’s a bastard. he’s not william’s son, but rather a product of charlotte’s infidelity

the truth of who he is makes too much sense to jonah, contextualizes everything that’s ever happened to him, and it breaks something in him. he grows into the role of the ‘destroyer’, the villain, the bastard. he learns coldness from his father, apathy from his mother, and shoulders the guilt of his own birth as though he’s not just a child, as though he did something to deserve this. he comes to realize, it’s not that he did anything wrong. simply put, jonah was just born wrong.

theater helps, and he’s good at it too, but it doesn’t undo the ache of being cast aside. jonah becomes obsessed with finding his birth father and finally, after sixteen years of pretending, he confronts his mother, who reluctantly gives jonah his name: desmond burnes.

desmond burnes is a playwright, much to jonah’s delight. and he’s an alderidge alum (which is why jonah even applied here to begin with). the summer before he goes off to college, jonah decides to go to new york to track down his dad, using a summer theater program at columbia as a guise for tracking des down. and at first, des is everything he wanted in a parent: thoughtful, attentive, engaged. but the more jonah gets to know him, the more he realizes how hot and cold des is, how similar the two of them are, in all the worst ways.

the summer ends in turmoil, as you would expect. jonah developed a bit of a crush on hugh, the prop designer for des’ play, not realizing that des and hugh were already entangled sexually. jonah finds the two of them together, and it breaks him, not because he’s jealous, but because he realizes: des will never be the kind of father jonah’s needed his whole life. it leaves a hole in his heart, a void he thinks will never be filled.

until....enter stage left!! orson hobbs. that slimy mother fucker saw how much pain there is in jonah, but also saw how he could harness that deep, deep agony for something great. and jonah, for what feels like the millionth time in his life, put all of his trust and love and hope into the wrong fucking person because he was so desperate to be good in jonah’s eyes, so desperate to have someone who saw him and wouldn’t leave, like everyone else before orson.

his relationship with helen really threw a wrench in that though. orson always liked jonah broken, and with helen, he finally sound some sense of healing. so he reeled jonah back in, using the role of achilles as the hook line and sinker, and jonah, oblivious to how he was being manipulated, fell for it all. he’s always been so susceptible to changing himself for the approval of other people, always twisting himself into whatever shape he thinks people want to see. it’s only towards the end, days before the curtain rises for troilus and cressida, that jonah understands: orson never cared about him. orson likes him broken, docile, his. and orson will cast him aside if he refuses to comply.

orson’s death has shaken him to his core because, even though he didn’t kill orson, a part of jonah knows that, if he saw orson that night, he would have. knowing he has that rage in him, knowing that that’s what he’s truly capable of... he’s never felt more wrong, more evil in his whole life, and hell, maybe that’s just who he is. maybe he’s failed, so many times, at being good because he’s got a black mark on his heart, just like des, just like william.

&& random facts––

smokes too many cigarettes & doesn’t drink enough water

hates birds

sketches when he’s bored, likes drawing butts

is a staunch vegetarian, trying to go vegan but likes cheese too much

would cry @ everything if he didn’t have to deal w the embarrassment of being vulnerable in front of people

doesn’t know how to swim

knows literally every single thing there is to know about david fincher, one might call him... obsessed??

always looks like he just woke up from a nap... probably because he did

and in that vein, Nap King, he’s been diagnosed with a mild form of narcolepsy, don’t fuck w jonah’s naps

allergic to cats, but loves them so much its stupid

compulsively buys candles when he’s sad (so always buying candles because he’s always fucking sad)

gets HEATED about the great british bake off. don’t talk to him about it if you don’t want to open a pandora’s box of his love for mary berry

favorite color is yellow

always cold

disaster bi: clumsy as fuck. horrible driver. can’t sit properly in chairs. never knows what time it is

#ensembleintro #{ about }#{ to feel anything deranges you. to be seen feeling anything strips you naked }#im........VIBIN

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