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torreshalstead · 8 months

Text

a ring to prove it

Summary - She didn’t know if it was because of the wait since the last time they had been together or if it was the addition of the ring on her finger and the promises of a future together. Whatever it was, it had been hours and she was still tingling. She was back in Matt Casey’s arms and couldn’t be happier.

Notes - a little post 11x22 fic, happy reading! ❤️ AO3 Link

His breathing was steady, his heart rate had calmed from their exertions hours ago and he was peacefully asleep. But she was awake. Her head was resting on his chest, his arms tight around her even in his dreams, her fingers were tracing patterns in his skin remembering the expanses of muscle she had memorised those months before.

Being back in his arms was more than she had ever thought she would experience again. Somewhere along the line she had forgotten just how Matt Casey made her feel. What he made her feel by just being in his presence yes but also how he loved her. She had never fallen as hard off the proverbial cliff as she did when Matt had his hands or tongue on her, when he was inside her. She hadn’t been with anyone that way since she had ended them by a phone call. A phone call she both regretted and knew was the right thing at that moment.

Dylan was nice enough but he didn’t make her want to rip her clothes off the way Matt did. And any pleasure she had given herself even when they were together, it was Matt’s name that passed through her lips when she finished. It was his eyes she saw staring back at her when she closed her eyes.

And last night had been nothing short of mind blowing. She didn’t know if it was because of the wait since the last time they had been together or if it was the addition of the ring on her finger and the promises of a future together. Whatever it was, it had been hours and she was still tingling.

When she opened the door the day before and was greeted by the sight of Matt Casey on the other side, the last thing she had expected was for him to drop down on one knee and ask her to marry him.

‘Sylvie Brett, we were meant to be. Will you make me and three kids the luckiest family in the world and marry me?’

She had clutched at her chest, staring at the man she had wished for so long would do exactly what he was doing now and ask her to spend her life with him. She could see the ring shining in the box but her gaze was fixed directly on him, on his eyes, his smile.

She nodded, how could she do anything else but say yes. This was exactly what she had dreamed of.

‘Yes,’ she said, the tears spilling down her cheeks as Matt’s grin spread wider across his cheeks. She dropped to her knees in front of him, pulling his face to hers and melding their lips together. Her salty tears mingled in the kiss but she didn’t care, she had just said yes to marrying Matt Casey. They were going to be a family. Her, Matt, Ben, Griffin and Julia. Her family.

She let her fingers thread through his hair, it was slightly shorter than it had been at the wedding - the last time she had kissed him. His arms wound tightly around her waist, pulling her close to him from their slightly awkward position kneeling in front of each other.

‘Yes,’ she said in between kisses, ‘yes.’ She felt him grin against her lips and let herself get lost in the familiar sensation of his against hers. It was only when she felt her phone vibrating in the back pocket of her overalls she pulled away.

‘It’s Hermann,’ she said, her lips still swollen from the kiss but she hadn’t been expecting Hermann to call. ‘I better get this,’ Matt nodded, the smile not leaving his face and his arms didn’t relax his hold on her either. She didn’t make an attempt to move away from him as she swiped and answered the call.

Sylvie didn’t think either of them expected to be called to the hospital before Matt even had a chance to slide the ring onto her finger but he had pocketed the box as soon as she had ended the call having heard everything Hermann had said and said he would drive, wrapping her hand in his and leading her out to the car.

The car ride to the hospital was silent, the tears silently streaming down her face that had started as tears of joy were now ones of pain and worry. Matt kept a tight hold of her hand all the way to Med and she was grateful she had him to lean on as neither of them knew what to expect when they arrived. Hermann had sounded scared on the phone, he had tried to tell her he was sure Mouch would be okay but his voice had cracked and Sylvie’s heart had sunk. Mouch couldn’t be dying, she refused to even entertain the idea.

‘I think we shouldn’t tell them,’ she whispered into the silence of the car. ‘About us.’

Matt nodded. ‘I agree, this isn’t the moment.’ He held on a little tighter for the reminder of the journey, her own knuckles were going white at the pressure she was applying back on his.

He went to let go of her hand when they entered but Sylvie couldn’t bring herself to unlink their fingers, she needed him right now, needed the feeling of his warm skin against hers to ground her or else she might lose it. Her words to Matt had originally meant that she thought they should keep the fact they were back together underwraps but the further they walked into the hospital, she realised she just meant the engagement. She couldn’t let go of his hand right now. Wouldn’t let go of it.

No one commented on them walking in together hand in hand, no one said anything at all. The waiting room was eerily silent, their friends scattered around, heads in hands, staring at walls, silently crying. Matt and her joined them, finding two empty chairs and settling down next to Stella. Sylvie reached across and wrapped her other arm around the Lieutenant’s shoulder. No matter how many times they sat in hospital waiting rooms whilst one of their own was hurt - it never got any easier.

Sylvie didn’t know long they sat there, waiting for someone to bring them news. The waiting room was deep in the middle of the hospital with no windows, hours could have passed or it could have been mere minutes before a doctor in black scrubs came out and gave them the news they had been holding their breaths for.

‘He’s going to be okay,’ he said and Sylvie felt like the elephant that had been sitting on her chest constricting her breathing was finally removed. She leant into Matt’s side and let him wrap his arms around her pulling her safely into his chest.

Mouch was going to be okay. And she was going to marry Matt Casey.

——————————————————————————

On the way back to hers from the hospital, Mouch having kicked them all out saying he wasn’t having Chicago’s best sleeping in a waiting room if they didn’t need to, the air was lighter in the car.

‘Did you tell the boys?’ Sylvie wondered aloud.

‘Ben and Griffin?’ Matt clarified. ‘I did.’ He chuckled. ‘They were very excited at even the possibility of us getting back together. Pretty much pushed me out of the house to the airport when I said I was going to propose.’

Sylvie felt her cheeks redden. She had had no issues bonding with Griffin but it had taken time before Ben opened up to her but she had understood. His life hadn’t been easy and enough people had already let him down, he didn’t want to risk getting hurt again. The prospect of them both being back in her life, that they both wanted her back in their lives warmed her heart.

‘I told them about Julia too,’ Matt added with a small smile, glancing across at her as they pulled to a stop at a traffic light.

‘You did?’ Sylvie asked slightly shocked but pleasantly so.

‘Called them once you got the news, it felt right to let them know,’ Matt shrugged.

‘And they were happy about it?’ Sylvie was worried the addition of someone else into their family bubble could cause issues, especially for Ben.

‘Said they were going to spoil her rotten,’ Matt chuckled. ‘Ben said he would teach her how to mountain bike when she’s old enough - it’s his current favourite thing.’

They really were going to be a family, all of them together.

——————————————————————————

Matt stirred awake, groaning slightly as he was brought back into consciousness, his muscles contracting under Sylvie’s touch.

‘Morning,’ he said groggily, smiling down at where she had turned her focus to look up at him from her position on his chest.

‘Good morning,’ she whispered, reaching up to press her lips against his before relaxing back into his hold.

‘I could hear your mind working in my dreams,’ Matt said, stroking his fingers against the bare skin of her hip.

‘Mmm’ she hummed in response.

‘Want to share with the room?’ He asked and she smiled, pressing her face against his chest.

‘I was just thinking about our life,’ she admitted, with anyone else she would have blushed at her words but not with Matt. He always made her feel safe enough to speak truthfully, provided her the space to be exactly who she wanted to be without fear of judgement. She’d not always been so lucky in her past relationships.

Harrison hadn’t really wanted Sylvie Brett, he’d wanted the wife he thought he could mould Sylvie into being. He disliked everything about her that made her her. All the bright and caring aspects that made her who she was. He just wanted her to bend to his wishes and give up everything in her life that she cared about.

Antonio, goodness knows what he had wanted but it wasn’t what she had wanted. That was a relationship doomed to fail from the start, something she thought both of them had luckily realised before it got too late.

Kyle wanted a preacher's wife, he thought he was giving her what she wanted - space away from Chicago after her accident. But that wasn’t her either. She was a Chicago girl now, and that was where she belonged.

But Matt, Matt wanted her exactly how she was, all the blemishes and flaws along with the shiny and good. He supported her through everything, had been her number one cheerleader even before they had realised how they felt about each other. His heart was everything good and Sylvie loved him for it.

‘It's going to be a beautiful life,’ Matt said, bringing up the hand not wrapped around hers to run his fingers over the ring that now graced her left hand.

‘What time is your flight?’ She asked quietly. They’d spoken about him going back to Oregon in between rounds last night when their skin was still tacky with sweat, their legs refusing to untangle themselves.

‘I have to go back to Oregon tomorrow,’ he said into the quiet night air. ‘But only to wrap things up,’ he tightened his hold on her, one hand continuing to trail up and down her bare back. ‘It should only take a couple of weeks.’

‘Okay,’ Sylvie muttered. She knew he wanted to be back in Chicago as much as she wanted him back, he had shown her how much just a moment ago.

‘I agreed with CFD to start teaching at the academy in 6 weeks, they know I want back in the action but teaching will do until they can find me a house,’ he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

‘I’ll take you to the airport tomorrow,’ Sylvie said. This wouldn’t be like last time. They had a plan this time. He was coming back to her, he was going to marry her.

‘I think it’s just past midday,’ Matt said and Sylvie chuckled at his vagueness. ‘I’ll check when this beautiful woman lets me out of her bed,’ he said in mock offence at her laugh.

‘I can let you out now if you’d like,’ Sylvie sassed, making a move to untangle herself but Matt groaned and pulled her back against his chest.

‘Never,’ he murmured as he peppered her face with kisses and her soft giggles filled the room.

‘I’ll call you as soon as I land,’ he said as the pair settled back into their embrace, the covers pooling around their waists as his movements had shifted them slightly.

‘Okay,’ she said, resuming tracing patterns against his chest.

‘When will Julia arrive?’ He asked curiously.

‘I think a couple of days,’ Sylvie admitted. ‘Although Amber took back custody, there’s still papers to sign. You know how it is with the DFS.’

‘You’re going to give her the most beautiful life Sylvie,’ Matt murmured against her hair.

‘We are,’ Sylvie corrected him. Although technically she was doing this alone and it was her name on the paperwork, she wanted Matt by her side every step of the way. And she knew he was all in. ‘We are going to have the most wonderful family.’

‘We are,’ Matt said, his words reminiscent of when she had finally admitted her feelings to him in the middle of the night out on the North Apron.

‘We will have the most incredible life, all of us together.’

‘We will.’

‘And we have each other. Forever. We are it for each other.’

‘We are,’ Matt repeated.

Sylvie wasn’t looking forward to saying goodbye to him in just a few hours, but she knew this goodbye would be their last. When he returned, it would be for good. They would be together. She had a ring on her finger to prove it.

#Brettsey #Matt Casey #sylvie brett #Chicago fire #one Chicago #brettsey fanfiction #chicago fire fanfic #brettsey fanfic #chicago fire fic #brettsey fic #chicago fire fanfiction

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torreshalstead · 1 year

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Family means family

Summary - After Stella dies on a call, Kelly locks himself away and refuses to see anyone including his daughter. There was only person who could pull Kelly out of the spiral he was in, yet he was 2000 miles away. But a single phone call from the last person Matt Casey expected to hear from changes that.

Warnings - Major Character Death

Notes - this is a prequel to Memories Bring Back You. That fic goes against my own long held headcannon that Severide is the most likely character to die from a broken heart so it was interesting to delve into a situation where he can’t do that and how that would impact him. This came out with a lot more Brettsey in than I had originally planned but I’m not mad about it! You don’t have to have read MBBY for this to make sense, they are standalone. Hope you enjoy! AO3 Link

Matt Casey finally had a second to sit down after an incredibly busy shift. When he hadn’t been on a call, he was busy running drills trying to get a couple of new firefighters on his rig up to scratch. They weren’t quite the same as his Truck crew back in Chicago but he was determined to make them as good as they could possibly be. He did enjoy seeing them grow and develop but he was still tired and was looking forward to a quick lie down, if the bells would allow it.

It wasn’t the bells that hindered his sleep however, it was his phone ringing and a glance down at the screen showed it was possibly the last person he had expected to see calling him.

He swiped his thumb across the screen to answer the call.

‘Hey,’ he said, unsure what tone he should be taking.

‘Hey Matt, I’m sorry to call but…’ Sylvie’s voice tailed off. It was quieter and shakier than he remembered. He knew her well enough to understand that this was not going to be a catch up call.

‘No, it’s okay, what’s up?’ He asked, his uncertainty turning to concern.

‘It’s not me, it’s Stella,’ he heard her sniff as she stifled a small sob. Matt sat up straighter.

‘What happened?’ He asked quietly, a lump growing in his throat knowing this couldn’t be anything good. He had spoken to Stella just last week. Lizzie had wanted to show him a painting she had done of him and Kelly, so Stella had video called him. She had seemed fine then. That meant that something must have happened on a call.

‘There was an accident’, Sylvie took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself but it came out shaky. ‘She didn’t make it out of a storage unit fire…’

Matt’s head dropped to his hands, it felt like a piece of his heart had been chipped off at his her words. He had known Stella for years, lived with her for a few. Watched her develop into the most incredible firefighter and leader. Been an incredible wife to his best friend and seen her become the most wonderful mother to Lizzie. That she had been taken from her family, both the one with her husband and daughter and the one at the firehouse. It wasn’t fair.

‘Kelly needs you Matt, I don’t want to ask or tell you what to do-’

‘No, I’m on the first flight.’ He interrupted with a small shake of his head. It was his best friend. There was nothing to keep him from Chicago at this point. ‘Thanks for calling Sylvie,’ he said softly, knowing it would have been hard for her to pick up the phone to call anyone and tell them about Stella, let alone call him.

‘They’re our family,’ she said quietly.

‘How are you doing?’ He asked, knowing that Sylvie always put everyone else's needs above her own and he doubted this time would be any different.

‘I.. I haven’t processed it yet. I don’t think any of us have. Just trying to hold it together for Severide’, she sniffed. ‘He’s in a bad way Matt’.

‘I wish I could say I would expect something else but he loves her with everything he has. Has he told Lizzie?’

‘That’s part of the problem. He hasn’t seen her since it happened yesterday. Sorry I didn’t ca-’

‘No no, it’s fine. I get it Sylvie, I do. Where is she then?’ He asked, knowing his best friend must be in an awful place if he was refusing to see his daughter.

‘She’s with Cindy and Hermann, she just thinks they are both working late I think. I’ll explain everything else when you get here. Let me know which flight you get on and I’ll pick you up.’

‘Okay. And thank you Sylvie, I’m glad it was you that called,’ he smiled softly, allowing himself a moment of comfort.

‘Of course, I’ll see you soon Matt’. And with that the call ended. And Matt was sitting alone in his office with the knowledge that one of his closest friends was no longer with them and his best friend was in agonising pain and he was almost 2000 miles away.

—————————————————————————

His chief had granted him the furlough immediately, no questions asked. He hadn’t even gone back home, just grabbed his station bag which had a couple of changes of clothes in it and headed straight to the airport. He had enough friends in Chicago that someone could lend him some clothes if needed. He didn’t want to waste any time.

Matt didn’t know what he would find when he touched down in Chicago but if Sylvie had called him, he knew it wouldn’t be anything good. Kelly had suffered loss before, more loss than one person should experience in their life and to have his wife taken away from him and leave him as a single parent, it was just cruel.

When Kelly had taken the OFI position after Stella had given birth, Matt wasn’t even a little bit surprised. He knew how much he loved his wife and Stella was just at the beginning of her career. She still had so much to give to the CFD. Severide had always been exceptional at arson investigation and if it meant he could be at home for his daughter then it made perfect sense.

However Matt knew his best friend, had known him and worked alongside him for years, so he knew that somewhere inside he would be questioning if he had been on the call if he could have helped, or even saved her. Without knowing the exact details of the call Matt couldn’t give a definitive answer but knew that if Kelly had been there, the likeness was that Lizzie would have lost both of her parents that day and Matt would be flying back to his home city for an even more heartbreaking reason.

Before he got on the flight, he dropped Sylvie a message to let her know when he was due to land, with a caveat to say she didn’t need to pick him up and he could get an Uber. He knew that she would be waiting for him at the arrivals gate though. He had also sent a message to Boden, Cruz, Hermann and Mouch to let them all know he was on his way back and that Sylvie had filled him in. He wished he was heading back to see his friends for a more positive reason but some small part of him was glad he would be around people experiencing the same grief he was. If he had had to go through losing Stella alone in Oregon, well, he’s not sure he could have.

—————————————————————————

As he had expected, Sylvie was waiting for him when he got through the arrivals gate. He could feel the nerves and the sense of uneasiness coming off of her as soon as he spotted where she was standing. She was tugging her sleeves over her hands, glancing around and nibbling her bottom lip. He hadn’t seen her since the morning after Kelly and Stella’s wedding, they had said goodbye at her apartment door as she had to go to shift and he had a flight to catch. They hadn’t spoken aloud the thought they were both sharing, that it might be the final time to see each other. They just held each other closely.

He walked over to her and before saying anything wrapped her tightly in his arms. He knew it had been the right decision when he felt her stiffness disappear and she melted into his embrace. He didn’t loosen his hold when he felt her shake and her tears wet his neck, he just let her cry in his arms. He felt the tears begin to spill from his own eyes but didn’t care enough to wipe them away. They were both sad, a horrible thing had happened and crying was a natural response, what onlookers thought didn’t matter right now.

‘Hi,’ he said softly when she eventually pulled back. He reached to wipe a stray tear from her cheek, not questioning how easy it was to fall back into simple physical contact with her.

‘Hi,’ she echoed. ‘That all you bring?’ she asked, nodding to the bag which was slung over his shoulder.

‘Yep, came straight from the firehouse, figured I could borrow some clothes off people if I need to’, he said as the pair started to walk towards the exit.

‘I still have a few of your things,’ Sylvie said quietly, a hint of embarrassment laced through her voice.

‘Then that’s perfect’, he said, smiling to dissuade her of those feelings. He still had a couple of her shirts in the back of his closet too. Getting rid of them had always felt too final. ‘Is Severide at the loft?’ He asked.

‘We think so’, she answered. ‘We haven’t seen him since the hospital. But that must have been where he went.’

‘Okay, so first stop is there? Then go see Lizzie?’ Sylvie nodded in agreement. First thing first, he had to see if he could coax his oldest friend out to see his one and only daughter, Matt knew it would be a challenge but knew he needed to succeed. For Kelly’s own sake.

—————————————————————————

The drive to the loft was bizarre. The air was thick with everything they weren’t saying. Matt was fighting the urge to reach across the centre console to hold Sylvie’s hand or rest his hand on her leg like they used to. What had brought them back together was something so tragic but the fact it could have been anyone who came to pick him up brought him an ounce of hope. Maybe it was wrong to feel this way considering where they were driving and what would be waiting for him but in the same breath he knew that Stella would want everyone to be happy.

When they pulled up to the loft, it was eerily quiet.

‘I’ll wait in the car for you. If you can get him out then I’ll drive you both to Hermann’s, I don’t imagine he’s in a fit state to drive,’ Sylvie said as she put her car in park.

‘Okay, I’ll leave you with my bag?’ he asked as he got out of the car, Sylvie nodded.

The walk up to the loft was bizarre, almost a sense of deja vu took over him, having walked this route for many years but not being back to visit in some time. Although he knew there was likely to be a spare key above the door frame, now was not quite the time to invade his friend's privacy. He would wait to see if he would be invited in, so knocked the door loudly and waited.

He couldn’t hear any movement inside but Kelly’s Mustang and Stella’s Jeep had been outside, along with his bike so Matt knew he was inside.

‘Kelly, it’s Matt, you going to let me in?’ He said loudly after a couple of moments, accompanying it with another loud knock. ‘I’m so sorry about Stella, Sylvie told me. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Open up and we can talk about it?’ When he still received no response, he tried another tack. ‘Sylvie and I were going to go and see Lizzie, I’m sure she’d like to see her dad? You could come with us?’

After another few moments of silence, Matt decided today was clearly not the day. Grief worked in funny ways and if Severide needed another day of solitude then Matt was going to be the one to grant that.

‘I’m going to go now Kelly but if you need me I’m at the other end of the phone. I’ll give Lizzie your love and I’ll be back tomorrow. And I really am sorry mate’. He hung his head and rested his palm against the door, hoping for a moment that Kelly would open the door but when that didn’t occur, he turned around and walked back to the car and to Sylvie.

‘You tried’, Sylvie said solemnly when he climbed back into her car.

‘I guess, let’s go see Lizzie and we can try again later’, Matt said. He hadn’t seen Lizzie in person since she was a baby, when Stella and Kelly had surprised him with a visit, although he spoke on the phone with her a lot so he was excited to see her. A pang deep in his chest reminded him that she didn’t know her mother had died and her father had locked himself away from the world. Maybe that was best, he thought, to give her another day before her life was irrevocably changed forever.

—————————————————————————

When Matt knocked on the door to the Hermann residence, with Sylvie behind him, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep it together in front of the little girl but knew he had to.

Hermann opened the door and immediately pulled him into a hug. The older firefighter was not usually one to initiate physical contact but Matt held him tightly anyway.

‘Good to see you man’ he said when he finally pulled back. ‘Did you see him?’

Matt shook his head dejectedly, ‘wouldn’t open the door’.

‘Same for all of us. Come on in then, the little one is in the garden playing.’ He stood back to let them in, ‘hey there Brett’, he added when Sylvie passed him with a sad smile.

The house was devoid of its usual hubbub. There had always been kids running around, the smell of something delightful coming from the kitchen, but today it was void of all of that as they walked through to the backyard.

Lizzie Severide was sitting on the swing set, kicking her feet against the dirt but not attempting to swing any further than the couple of inches it was moving as a result of her motions. When the door opened and Casey and Syvlie stepped out, her head shot up and a sudden look of disappointment flickered across her young face when the people at the door were not the ones she was clearly waiting for. The excitement when she realised who it was took over quickly however and she squealed with excitement before jumping off the swing and running towards the pair, throwing herself at Matt’s legs.

‘Uncle Matt!’ she said excitedly as he knelt down and pulled her into a tight hug.

‘Hey kiddo,’ he said as he kept the little girl cradled against his chest, trying to pour all the love he had for her into it. ‘How are you?’ he said as he pulled back slightly, keeping his hands on the tops of her arms, squeezing lightly.

‘Good. Cindy made brownies,’ she said excitedly, tugging at the bottom of her shirt and bouncing from foot to foot. ‘But Mommy and Daddy are working,’ she said, pushing her bottom lip out. The pout he was sure could get his best friend to do anything his daughter asked.

‘They are, they have important jobs. But I know they love you lots and lots,’ Matt said and pulled a smile onto his face, shielding the pain.

‘I know,’ Lizzie said with a smile, clearly it was something her parents told her a lot. Good, Matt thought, she should be told it as often as possible.

‘Did you see who I brought with me?’ Matt asked, nodding his head up at Sylvie. Lizzie’s head spun around quickly to look where he was nodding, the smile widened on her face as she realised who had come to visit with her favourite Uncle.

‘Auntie Betty!’ Matt had to stifle a laugh at this and shot Syvlie a questioning look.

‘People were calling me both Sylvie and Brett and somehow Auntie Betty was born,’ she chuckled lightly.

‘I like it,’ Matt said with a wink.

‘Only I call Auntie Betty!’ Lizzie said firmly, the little girl clearly had her mothers fire within her.

‘Of course, only you get to call me Auntie Betty,’ Sylvie smiled and ran her hand over the girl's head, her curls were attempting to be restrained with some tight dutch braids but a few flyways were escaping.

‘Uncle Matt’, Lizzie said, turning back to Casey, an inquisitive look in her eyes.

‘Yes Lizzie’, he said, dreading the question that was coming next.

‘When Mommy and Daddy coming home?’ She looked down at the floor sadly. This had clearly been a question she had asked numerous times since she had arrived at the Hermann’s.

Sylvie had explained on the drive to the loft earlier what had happened. Kelly had brought Lizzie to the firehouse to celebrate her birthday and surprise Stella, that’s when the call to the storage facility came in. Kelly and Lizzie had stayed at the firehouse, assuming the call wouldn’t take too long and they could continue the birthday celebrations afterwards. When the worst had happened, Boden had called Kelly immediately knowing he would want, more accurately, would need to be there. Kelly left Lizzie at the firehouse with Stephanie, Kylie’s replacement, and Cindy had picked her up from there. Lizzie hadn’t seen her father since.

Kelly had pulled up to the scene and it had been worse than anyone had imagined. Cruz and Boden had to physically restrain him to stop him running into the building that was still burning. Sylvie’s eyes had filled with tears when she had been telling Matt how Kelly hadn’t stopped calling Stella’s name, his voice getting more hoarse with each yell.

When she had been brought out by the Truck crew, Kelly had attempted to resuscitate her himself, yelling at everyone that he could help her, he could bring her back. The rest of them had looked on in desperation, no one knowing when they should pull him back.

Finally, Boden had pulled him back. He had fallen to his knees and hadn’t said anything else. The tears stopped and he just watched them load her into the ambulance. Sylvie described it as seeing his soul disappear, it was like it was just Kelly’s body, he wasn’t in there anymore, his eyes had grown empty and he hadn’t said anything else.

Cindy and Hermann had expected Kelly to come and pick Lizzie up after leaving Med but he hadn’t shown. They had tried calling, Sylvie and Joe had gone round to the loft but there had been no answer. They hadn’t seen or heard from him since.

‘As soon as they can sweetie,’ Matt said, hoping the small white lie wouldn’t come back to haunt him. ‘How about we go inside and have one of those yummy brownies and you can tell me everything you’ve been up to since I’ve seen you last?’

Lizzie took a moment to contemplate before she nodded with a smile and tugged on Matt’s hand, pulling him towards the kitchen.

——————————————————————————

‘Can you drop me off at the loft?’ Matt asked as the pair got back into the car having spent the last couple of hours hearing all about what Lizzie had been drawing or making or eating. Once you got the little girl talking, there’s no way to stop her. It was refreshing, Matt had thought, she was such a happy child, he really hoped she’d be able to keep that spark even when the awful news was broken to her.

‘Are you going to try and talk to him again?’ Sylvie asked curiously.

‘Figured I’d fill him in on how Lizzie is doing and hope that works, then I’ll kip on the couch’.

‘And if it doesn’t, you plan on sleeping in the hallway?’ She chuckled.

Matt ran his hand over his chin, his 5 o’clock shadow firmly adorning his cheeks. ‘Guess I hadn’t really thought that far’, he admitted bashfully.

‘Okay, well if you can’t get through to him, I’ll wait downstairs and you can crash with me,’ Matt’s head swivelled quickly towards her, ‘I have a perfectly good couch Matt, you know that.’

‘Guess I do’, he smiled. ‘Thanks Sylvie, that sounds like a plan’.

‘I’ll give you 20 minutes, if I don’t hear from you then I’ll assume you’re staying with Severide, okay?’ Matt nodded in agreement as they continued their way towards the loft.

The climb up to the loft felt less unusual this time, but Matt had less hope that his friend would open the door than he had had previously. He knew Kelly well enough to know that he would have gone completely into his shell and it would take a lot to get him out of it.

He had debated bringing Lizzie back with him, knowing that Severide would have to open the door to his daughter. But having no idea what state Kelly was in on the other side of the door, he didn’t want to subject Lizzie to that. He would give Kelly one more chance to let him in of his own volition before he resorted to more drastic methods.

He knocked the door slightly harder than he had done when he had been here a few hours ago, thinking maybe it was just that he had been in his bedroom and couldn’t hear him knocking.

‘Sev, hey. It’s me again. I’ve just come from seeing Lizzie. She misses you man, is asking about you and Stella. I just told her that you both loved her.’ Matt took a deep breath before continuing. ‘It can’t come from anyone else but you Kelly, and I know that’s awful and painful, but it has to. She can’t hear this when she hasn’t got you there to turn to. You’re all she’s got. She needs you.’

‘She’s grown so much man, and she’s the spitting image of Stella. She’s so smart too, took great pride in telling me all the things Hermann does wrong around the house that Cindy has to correct him. You must be so proud of her.’

‘I’m going to go now, give you a little bit more time. But I’ll be back first thing tomorrow. And Sev, I’m coming in whether you like it or not. And I really would prefer if you opened the door for me, don’t want to screw my shoulder up again by barging it down. But I will.’

As he turned to leave, he stopped and approached the door again.

‘We are all here for you. We love you, we love Stella and we love Lizzie. You’re not going through this alone man.’

—————————————————————————

‘Thanks for letting me stay Sylvie’, Matt said as he finished his takeout. They had ordered Chinese when they got back to her place, neither being in the mood to cook. Placing the empty container on the coffee table and he relaxed into the back of the couch.

It was odd being back here in her apartment. They had spent the majority of their time here when they were together. He had begun to think of it as much more of their apartment with the amount of time he spent there, sleeping in her bed more often than he slept in his own.

This is the place where they had spent their first night together, but he also knew this was the place where he had broken her heart, telling her he was leaving and going to Oregon. He knew he had had his reasons, knew that Sylvie understood them, but he still wished that they had stayed the course. He missed her, had spent a long time missing her before realising that it was futile. Until the thing keeping them apart stopped being an issue, then they would continue to stay apart.

It had stopped being an issue in the last couple of months, but Matt had still not made the final decision to come back to home. He did genuinely love his job in Oregon, fighting forest fires was something completely different and refreshing. He had spent a long time working with his crew to bring them up to the level he expected. But without the boys, there was nothing keeping him in Portland anymore.

He had contemplated coming back so often. Of calling up Boden and seeing if he could return, the likelihood of coming back to 51 was slim, he knew that, all the leadership positions had been filled. But even if he was back here, he would be around his family again.

Griffin had been accepted into the CFD and was now working as a candidate at a house across the city, although Matt knew his dream was to work on 81, the same truck as his father.

Ben was studying Maths over on the East Coast. He didn’t have the same pull back to Chicago as Griffin did but also had no inclination of staying in Portland. When he had applied to colleges on the East Coast and got accepted to a small school, he was incredibly excited and Matt was equally as proud of him.

He would be lying if he had said that Sylvie wasn’t a factor in his decision either. Both for the want to come back and the uncertainty about it. He didn’t expect them to be able to immediately fall back into what they had before, but at least without the physical distance between them, it could actually be a possibility again.

‘It’s no problem’, Sylvie said with the soft smile that Matt had been so fond of. It was different to the smile that Syvlie used the majority of the time, the one she dolled out to patients as easily as breathing. This was the smile she shared only with those she cared deeply about, the ones that she had let into her life and through her defences. Matt was grateful that he could still be included in that group. ‘You sure you’ll be okay out here?’ She brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. ‘We’ve shared a bed before, I don’t mind,’ she said softly.

Matt smiled warmly but shook his head. ‘It’s alright, I’ve stayed out here before. It’s perfectly comfortable. I don’t think either of us are in an emotionally stable state to be sharing a bed again, not yet,’ he added with a glance up at Sylvie and clocked how a blush started to spread across her cheeks. ‘But I’m here if you need me’, he said and she nodded in response.

‘Probably a smart idea,’ Sylvie said with a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. ‘I’ll get you some blankets then.’ She retrieved them, placed them on the coffee table and then smiled before retreating to her bedroom, leaving Matt standing alone in the living room wondering if he had just made the wrong choice.

At some point in the night however, he felt a small hand on his shoulder and awoke to see Sylvie standing over him, her eyes rimmed with red. He sat up quickly and she reached out a hand to him, he hesitated slightly before placing his hand in hers. She tugged him wordlessly towards her bedroom and he went willingly, following her without question.

She climbed into the bed, the side she had always slept on and held up the covers for him to slide under as well. When he had made himself comfortable, she curled herself into his chest, her body warm against his. He wrapped his arms around her in a familiar motion, allowing himself a moment to breathe in her usual vanilla shampoo scented hair. The pair fell asleep, awash in the comfort that being in each other's presence and arms provided and when they awoke in the morning they didn’t question it, they simply just smiled.

—————————————————————————

Sylvie was on the shift that day so Matt drove her to work and then headed straight over to the loft in her car. He wasn’t taking no for an answer today, he needed to see his friend and he needed Kelly to agree to go see his daughter. Keeping Lizzie in the dark any longer than necessary wasn’t the right thing to do but at the same time, the news had to come from Kelly.

Approaching the front door, he stretched out his shoulders. Matt hadn’t been kidding when he said he’d break down the door if he needed to. Feeling like he should probably give his friend a warning, he knocked on the door and announced his presence.

As with the previous times he had stood in this spot, there was no answer. So Matt took a couple of steps back, he knew the door was pretty heavy so might take a bit to get it down. Just as he began to take the first step forward it opened and a dishevelled looking Kelly stood before him.

He didn’t say anything as Matt took in his appearance. His hair, much greyer than it had been when Matt had left Chicago, was stood up in a myriad of directions, he was supporting at least 2 days worth of stubble on his cheeks and if Matt had to take a guess, the sweatpants and t shirt adorning his body were equally as old.

‘Hey,’ Matt said as he walked past his friend and into the apartment they had once shared. Just like Kelly, the apartment was also in a state. There were empty beer bottles littering the coffee table and the kitchen counters, containers of home cooked food no doubt brought over by Cindy and Donna, were sitting out of the fridge.

‘Didn’t want you breaking down the door,’ Kelly huffed as he walked over to the couch and threw himself down on it. Resuming the position that Casey assumed he had been in since he had returned here after the news broke. He reached out and grabbed one of the beer bottles off the table and took a swig, clearly one of the not completely empty ones.

‘I wouldn’t have to if you'd opened it yesterday when I knocked,’ Matt said, standing near the kitchen, unsure if his best friend would welcome him sat down near him at this point.

‘Thought you’d take the hint that I didn’t want company,’ Kelly said with a gruff laugh.

‘Well too bad, I’m here now so why don’t you get cleaned up and we can go see Lizzie. She’s asking for you.’

Kelly shook his head and lowered his gaze, picking at the label on the bottle.

‘I know it’s tough-’ Matt started to say before Kelly’s head shot up, his eyes rimmed with red.

‘You know?’ Kelly scoffed harshly. ‘You’ve had to tell your daughter that her mother is dead and won’t ever be coming home?’ He laughed coolly and took another draft from the bottle. ‘Didn’t think so’, he muttered and his gaze fell back down to the floor.

‘No, but I did lose a fianceé,’ Matt said calmly. ‘And I had to tell the Darden boys that their mother was in jail and couldn’t come home.’ Matt took a deep breath before continuing. ‘And I lost my father when I was a kid too, lost my mother at the same time as well in a manner of speaking.’ Matt swallowed, he wasn’t one to compare traumas but he hoped it would reinforce with Kelly that he was speaking from a place with a little knowledge on the subject.

Severide looked up, the tears that had been held back by his eyelashes before, were now silently making their way down his cheeks. ‘Sorry,’ he said quietly. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘I know you didn’t,’ Casey said as he made his way over to the living space and took a seat on the empty chair. ‘But Lizzie needs you Kelly.’

‘I know but how do I tell her? I haven’t even processed it myself yet,’ Kelly said, angrily wiping the tears away from his face as if they were a display of weakness.

‘You process it together,’ Matt said steadily. ‘I’m not saying it’ll be easy Severide, hell, it’ll be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. But it’s the right thing to do.’

Kelly nodded, keeping his gaze firmly on the floor. ‘I keep thinking I’m going to see her, out here making dinner or coming in the door after a shift. Keep hearing her voice, talking to Lizzie, playing with her. And then I look over and there’s no one there.’ He sniffed and wiped away his continued stream of tears. ‘And if I’d have been there, I could have done something. I could have saved her.’ The final sentence was distorted by a sob and a thud as the beer bottle he had been holding fell to the floor and Kelly cradled his head in his hands.

‘If you’d have been there, Lizzie would have lost two parents that day.’ Matt said slowly. ‘There was a reason when you had her, you went to work at OFI. And you can say it was the hours of whatever, but I know you and Stella had the discussion about you both being on a call. When you’re a first responder and have kids, you have to think like that.’ Kelly nodded but kept his head buried in his palms.

‘I can’t do this without Stella,’ he whispered.

Matt had stayed strong until this point, had decided this was not the place for him to display his grief, he was here for his friend, but the heartbreak in hearing those words brought tears to his eyes.

‘You can’, he said, ignoring how his voice cracked. ‘You’re not alone in this Kelly. Your 51 family is here for you and we won’t let you go through this alone. We’ve got you and we’ve got Lizzie.’

‘She was the best mom’, he said, lifting his head out of his hands slightly to gaze across the room. Matt followed his line of sight and saw that his eyes had landed on a framed photo of Stella and Lizzie laughing. ‘She was scared about it when we found out we were expecting but she was incredible. The pregnancy, the birth, everything. I fell in love with her even more every day.’ He wiped a wayward tear but a hint of a sad smile was beginning to tug on his lips. ‘And then Lizzie came along and she’s the spitting image of Stella. A mini her if ever there was one. She talks like her, walks like her, has her eyes and her smile. Stella taught her everything she knew, and I know she’s so proud of her,’ his smile faltered but he continued. ‘I’m so proud of her. I’m proud of them both. They made me who I am but without Stella… it just feels like a piece of me is missing. And I don’t want to pass that hurt on to Lizzie. She doesn’t deserve that. She’s so perfect. Too perfect to be in pain.’

Matt sat silently, letting his friend get everything out that he needed to. It was breaking him to see Kelly in this much pain and for the first time he really understood why he had been avoiding seeing his daughter.

He was trying to protect her. To let her have a couple more hours, more days, before her life would be changed forever. He didn’t want to be the one that caused her pain.

‘Stella didn’t deserve to die.’ Kelly said into the silence. Matt didn’t know how to respond, he agreed of course but in their line of work unfortunately they could never guarantee they would walk out of every fire. Both he and Kelly understood that but he guessed the reality was something that couldn’t be completely comprehended until it happened.

‘Is she okay?’ Kelly said, turning his head quickly to look at Matt who looked stunned at the question. ‘Lizzie, I mean.’

Matt nodded. ‘She’s fine. She misses you and her mom and has been asking about you. Cindy and Hermann have just been saying you’re still at work which seems to have appeased her for now but it won’t for much longer.’

Kelly nodded, wiping his hands across his face and pressing his heels into his eyes. ‘Will you come with me?’ He asked as he stood up. ‘To tell her?’

Matt nodded in agreement, ‘I’m here for whatever you need. We’re family.’

—————————————————————————

Whilst Kelly showered and got himself cleaned up, Matt busied himself by tidying up around the apartment. Throwing out all the empty bottles and checking the contents of the food containers to see if anything could be saved and refrigerating what he could salvage. By the time Kelly came out of the bedroom, the loft was back to looking in a more inhabitable state.

‘You didn’t have to-’ but Matt shook his head before Kelly could finish his sentence.

‘Don’t. We’re family.’ He smiled, and Kelly returned it, albeit a smaller smile but it was genuine all the same. ‘I called Cindy to let her know we were coming over’. Kelly nodded. ‘You ready?’ Matt asked.

‘No, but I don’t think I ever will be.’

‘Come on then, let’s go’. Matt said, leading the way to the door. He turned around once he had reached it and saw Kelly rooted firmly to the same spot he had been a minute before. He opened the door and waited patiently. He knew his friend just needed another moment, he had said he was going to see Lizzie today and Matt believed him.

‘Okay’, Kelly said shakily as he ran his hand through his hair and walked through the door Matt was holding open for him.

—————————————————————————

The drive to the Hermann’s was tense, the air was thick. Everytime Matt glanced over Kelly he was bouncing his leg and wringing his hands. The old roommates sat in silence, this was going to be tough no matter which way you span it and if Kelly needed any help, Matt hoped he knew he could ask.

When they walked up to the door, Severide hesitated with his fist outstretched, an inch away from making contact with the wood. Matt rested his hand comfortingly on his shoulder and felt an ounce of tension drain from Kelly who knocked 3 times before taking a step back.

Cindy opened the door, a sad smile on her face as she pulled Kelly in for a hug.

‘I’m so sorry for your loss Kelly,’ she said quietly, holding him tightly before pulling back. ‘She’s in the garden.’

Kelly nodded and pulled his lips into a tight line.

‘I’ll stay with Cindy but we will be in here if you need us,’ Matt said, closing the front door behind them and gesturing to the living room.

Kelly nodded again and walked towards the backdoor. Matt heard the yells of ‘Daddy!’ when he opened it. It felt like a stab to his chest knowing that that excited voice would become the exact opposite in just a few moments.

He and Cindy sat side by side on the couch, neither knowing what to say or do, trying to give the Severide’s their privacy but at the same time being ready to jump in with support if it was needed.

After 15 minutes when neither Kelly or Lizzie had reappeared, Matt walked into the kitchen to peer out the window. What he was greeted with, shattered his heart even more.

Kelly was sitting on the swing, with Lizzie in his lap, her body curled tightly into his, his arms around her, a hand running over her hair. Matt could see the tears on Kelly’s face from here and could see how the little girl's body was shaking too. Severide was talking quietly to her whilst lightly pushing the swing back and forth. Matt stood there for a moment, before it felt like he was intruding on a private moment and returned to the living room. He smiled softly at Cindy and nodded at the unasked question.

A couple of minutes later, Severide appeared with a tired Lizzie still curled in his arms holding on tightly to her father.

‘Uncle Matt, is it alright if you take me and Lizzie home?’ He asked, his eyes were still red from the tears but he seemed lighter than when he had left the loft.

‘Of course’, Matt got up and smiled. ‘You okay?’ he mouthed, not wanting to ask anything else outright in front of Lizzie. Severide nodded with a sad smile.

Lizzie fell asleep in the back of Sylvie’s car as Matt drove them back to the loft so Severide carried her upstairs and tucked her in on the couch.

‘I don’t want to put her in her room in case she wakes up and doesn’t know where she is’, Kelly said as he leant against the kitchen island, with Matt on the other side.

‘Good idea. Do you want me to get you two anything?’ He asked but Kelly shook his head.

‘You’ve already done enough man, we appreciate it. And I know Stella would too’, he smiled sadly again. ‘When are you going back to Portland?’ he asked curiously, knowing his best friend must have had to drop everything quickly to make it out to Chicago as fast as he did.

‘Still got a few things to work out on that front, but I’ll let you know.’ Matt smiled as he picked up his jacket. ‘I’ll leave you to it, but call me if you need anything okay?’ Kelly nodded and followed Matt to the door.

‘Thanks again, not sure anyone else could have got me out that door today’.

Matt hesitated and then pulled Kelly into a hug, slapping him a couple of times on the back before pulling away. ‘Family means family’.

—————————————————————————

Matt used the remainder of the day visiting his sister who he hadn’t seen since he had left either. She hadn’t heard about Stella but had met her a few times so was still saddened by the news. She offered to let him stay there that night which he took her up on. Sylvie had said he could crash at hers again but it felt weird being there without her and he didn’t want to intrude on Severide’s time with his daughter.

He got up early the following morning, his flight was later that afternoon but he had a couple of things he wanted to get done before he headed to the airport.

First was to stop by 51. He was picking up Sylvie and a conversation with her was high on his list but first, he had a meeting with Boden.

He had called his old boss and mentor the previous afternoon when it became clear to Matt that he was needed back in Chicago. The same thing that had called him to leave for Potrland in the first place, was now calling him home. Family.

He wanted to speak to Boden about returning to the CFD. And specifically about returning to Boden’s district. He knew he wanted to return to 51 at some point but for now he would settle to being somewhere under Boden’s watchful eye.

He hadn’t expected the meeting to be as direct as it had been. Boden without hesitation offered him the command position back on Truck 81. It wasn’t the same company it had been when he had left but Boden was wary about putting a floater or someone from another house into the empty space. The whole house was grieving and that crew specifically had lost their leader. But if there was anyone who Boden felt comfortable being in charge of the truck, it was Matt Casey. He was grieving too and understood just what an important person's shoes he would be attempting to step into.

Matt had been shocked by the offer and let him know he would need to speak to Kelly about it. Although for years 81 had been his rig, it was Stella’s now and her husband should at least get a say about who would take over. He didn’t want anyone to feel like he was replacing her or usurping her position.

He was still deep in thought, when Sylvie walked onto the apron.

‘Penny for them?’ She asked with a smile, nudging him gently with her shoulder.

‘Not sure they’re worth that but I’ll tell you in a bit. Fancy a walk along the riverwalk? I missed it in Portland’.

—————————————————————————

Matt wasn’t sure what Sylvie’s response would be when he told her he was coming back to Chicago. He hadn’t expected her to jump into his arms immediately but he also hadn’t been expecting the stoney silence he was currently experiencing.

‘Say something Sylvie,’ he asked as they continued to meander next to the river.

‘Don’t come back just for me,’ she said quietly and abruptly stopped.

‘What?’ Matt asked, confused, turning around to face her.

‘I’ve moved for relationships before Matt, and felt stuck and I don’t want you to feel like that.’ She ran a hand through her hair, her expression difficult to read. ‘If you want to come back to Chicago for you, then please do. I know it’s your home. But if you’re only coming back for me, then please… please don’t’.

‘I’m coming back for a number of reasons,’ Matt started. ‘But I won’t lie to you and say that you aren’t included in that. But you’re not the only one.’ He added quickly as she opened her mouth to interrupt him.

‘There’s nothing holding me in Portland anymore. Griffin is in Chicago now and Ben’s off at college. And sure I like my job there but it’s got nothing on the CFD. And I need to be here for Severide. He won’t say he needs the help or even ask for it, but this is going to be so hard on him and Lizzie. I can’t abandon them.’

He reached out his palm, hoping Sylvie would take it. He squeezed her hand lightly when she did.

‘But the reason we didn’t work was because I wasn’t here. And I’m not saying we will get back together or everything would be simple again but if I’m here then at least there’s a chance, right?’ he smiled and Sylvie returned it warmly.

‘There’s a chance’, she echoed. ‘But what about work? Will the CFD have you back?’

‘Boden’s offered me the spot on 81. But I need to talk to Kelly before I take it. I don’t want him to think I’m erasing Stella’s legacy by going back to it. She deserves to be remembered and held in everyone’s memory.’

The pair continued to stroll along the riverwalk, taking in the early morning bustle of Chicago. And if they were still holding hands at the end of it, then neither of them mentioned it.

—————————————————————————

Sylvie dropped Matt off at the loft again, having called ahead to make sure it was alright for him to pop in.

‘Hey’, Kelly said as he welcomed Matt in through the door. A stark comparison to the last time he had opened the door for him. ‘Want breakfast?’ He gestured to the kitchen where the bacon was cooking in the pan.

‘Nah I picked something up with Sylvie’, Matt smiled and followed him over, taking a seat at one of the bar stools.

‘Interesting’, Kelly said with a smirk as he turned the bacon over.

‘Shush, but there is something I want to talk to you about’, he said, a sudden sense of apprehension filling him.

‘Shoot’, Kelly said, busying himself with some eggs.

‘I’m coming back to Chicago. And Boden offered me the command of 81’. He saw Kelly freeze, still facing away from him. After a couple of seconds of silence, Matt continued. ‘But I told him I needed to speak to you. 81 is Stella’s truck and I don’t want you to think I’m stepping in where I shouldn’t, or trying to take over from her.’

Kelly turned around and shook his head. ‘If anyone’s going to take over from Stella, I’m glad it’s you.’ He said with a smile, his eyes brimming with tears. ‘You understand how big of a task it is, to walk in her shoes. And I know the crew would respect you, unlike if someone new came along and tried to take her place. And I know Stella would be okay with it too.’

‘If you’re sure?’ Matt asked.

‘I’m sure, but you’re sure you want to come back to Chicago? You’re not just coming back because of me and Lizzie right?’ He gestured at himself and then down the corridor with the spatula in his hand. ‘Because we’ll be okay, it’ll be a tough road, but we will be okay’.

Matt chuckled lightly, ‘you sound just like Sylvie. No I’m not just coming back for you too, although it has factored into my decision. And no, before you ask, I’m not just coming back for Sylvie either. Chicago is my home and my family is here. And it’s time for me to come back to that’.

‘Okay then’, Kelly said, downing his tools and walking round to the other side of the island. ‘Welcome back to Chicago,’ he said as he pulled Matt into a hug.

‘I do have to go back to Portland first and actually resign,’ he chuckled as Kelly pulled back a smirk etched on his face. ‘But I’ll be back for the funeral in a couple of days, and then I’m staying. For good.’

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