#But I also need mum not to know bc that fucks up my whole system of 'how not to kill/hurt self' that I've constucted over the years

[aw-bean-s]

.

[ladychlo]

Hii Chay,

how are you???

my thoughts are a bit muddled so this might not be all that clear. sorry for that. i saw you answering that gender queer anon and gave me a little push to type this out. you've always been really kind and amazing and cool so i felt a little courage to come here and you so nicely wanted to hear if anyone wanted to rant so i guess here goes hehe.

Anyway, i'll come to the point. for months, i've been kinda questioning my gender identity. (wow this is so weird to get it out in the open. lol i feel like squealing.) the thing is i've been questioning do i really feel like a girl? a woman? but what even is it to feel like a girl? i mean there are some days i don't feel girlish/feminine and i like what i see in the mirror when i put my hair in a bun, all pulled back, dressed up in stereotypically masculine clothes, manspreading when i sit and have that stupid strut in my steps and that puff in my chest. and i get so pissed when my mum mentions these are boys clothes or these are girls clothes. and then me and my sister both scoff at her like what is this boy-girl?? clothes are clothes. and she doesn't mean anything by it like she never says we shouldn't wear it or it doesn't look good or smth. we wear what we want. for her, she's just pointing it out coz that's what she knows. and that's when i ask myself, is my annoyance because of this general classification of binaries or is it something i feel personally for myself regarding my own identity. like is it merely because i know there are people who exist outside of these binaries and these classifications are stupid??

and that's what i don't know how to differentiate. like me behaving a certain way or wearing certain clothes is even a classification in the first place due to stupid stereotypes and i am just the way i am as a girl or am i identifying with a different gender identity? and even saying this phrase out loud, 'i am a girl' feels weird sometimes. but what if it is due to my own internalised misogyny that i don't wanna say i'm a girl coz people inherently will assume i'm weak or cannot handle something?? because obviously that has happened even if not outright and i am a fucking overachiever so what if it is that influencing my thinking??

i don't know lol, suffice to say i'm confused. anyway sorry for this utter mess 😭

Hello love 🌼 its not a mess! I'm so glad you guys feel comfortable to share stuff like this with me, always makes happy to help with anything even if just listening!

Anywaaay, you know these whole questions you're asking are absolutely legit and not confusing, its actually good to wonder how we perform our gender bc at a point we dont know if we preform what we feel as our gender or what we just are supposed to preform. And I always remember a saying by Tede Mathews (he was a gay liberation and anti-war movements activist), he said "we are all born naked and anything anyone wears is drag" which is to say, like drag, what you wear can be a performance but also a self-expression. Whatever we wear is an expression of our gender, the materialization of it in real life.

What you wear doesn't determine your gender ofc ik you know this, but it is a way to articulate what we feel as our gender, I for so long identified as a girl but always wore what was considered masculine clothes but then it was like a way to question my gender identity as a whole bc starting with what you wear it helps you understand how you identify and how you express it are two different things but complimentary as well. The possibility of you ''playing'' or creating a fluidity around your gender can actually start from what you wear bc it is as I said a material part of our gender and how we want to be perceived. Also, you can still identify with your assigned gender but you can express it away from the norm or what is your cisness suppose to look like.

the classifications are predictable, bc gender is one of the oldest systems of power, people need these classifications to situate themselves according to these dynamics of power, you can't escape these classifications but you can choose not to abide by them or follow them and they can so strange to you and foreign and they can be your source to be creative with how you express your gender. but yeah no, never limit yourself, and never let these feelings of confusion stop you from exploring how far you can get with your gender. on the contrary, these confusions will give you a sense of yourself and once you go there you can have a sense of control and understanding of who you can be and who you are, I always say that it feels like a none ending process, you can always keep questioning your gender and its totally fine, that can be it, constant self-expression that changes, always, but yeah, you're doing alright! if you wanna talk about it more or a specific thing I'm here, mwaaaah xx

[kuuyandere]

Ok so I was talking to my brother ab him and he said that my darling said it was probably gonna last a couple weeks at most bc he was just kinda messing around and that was like well over a month ago so kinda hoping.

Tbh I don't mind that he doesn't love me I'm happy that I even get to have this relationship with him at least I'm able to get some if it out of my system ykwim, like most ppl don't get this close to their darling and watch from afar, so ig it's better than nothing.

I'm spending the next few days going into glowup mode tho bc I'm like a solid 8 most days ( the arrogance is jumping out but ik I'm attractive I've been told that my whole life and I love my appearance) but with effort and some mascara I can look a lot hotter lmao

Idk I haven't seen him in a couple months so I feel like I need to look as good as I can bc why would I give him anything less yk.

Also I'm in therapy yeah and on Wednesday my therapist is gonna talk to my mum ab everything and go over it and I'm scareddd bc I mentioned the violent urges and thoughts and that most relationships feel shallow and that once someone wrongs me or we break up or whatever all my feelings and empathy for them just dies and that I collect blackmail on people even when we're still friends or dating just in case and I don't want my fucking mum to know I have a darker side bc I put on a mask with my family so they don't suspect me!

-🍄

I get what you mean about being happy to even be as close as you are to your darling even if he doesn't return your feelings. I am still basically my beloved's default hookup when she is in between relationships, and I still treasure those little moments of closeness with her despite everything. Although I also feel a tad used sometimes, and it hurts to know that it is only temporary and not because she actually loves me.

It's not arrogance, it is good to be able to appreciate yourself! I hope the glowup/makeover goes well, usually I find it very empowering after.

Is it legal for your therapist to be disclosing all of that information to your mother, especially when you don't want all of it disclosed? To my knowledge, typically there is a right to confidentiality between therapist and patient unless you are putting yourself or others at risk (which you are not).

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

I'm so glad to be home. Visiting the parents was difficult.

I feel like I have so much to write about and it's hard to pick something to focus on.

So yeah, my parents essentially acted as if I hadn't come out. Mum used Fable once or twice, but otherwise it was a whole bunch of deadnaming and she/her. Not that we stood up for ourselves at all. It was too much being back in that house and fawn parts were far too present for us to be able to correct them.

Pretty much from the moment we arrived until we left, i was super on edge and anxious. My nervous system was on high alert.

And, as was to be expected, conversations with the parents were a minefield. One of the most frustrating was my father telling us he'd spoken to his twin sister on their birthday (which was surprising since I didn't know he was speaking to her again. I don't really know her bc my father had mostly stopped speaking to her before I was born in large part bc she's a lesbian). And he went on to explain that she's still "living in fear" of COVID and "won't even go to a restaurant". He and my mother then expressed how ~sad~ for her they are. And of course we fucking sat there and nodded along despite wanting to scream. Of course then they added a caveat that of course my husband and I take it more seriously bc he has an autoimmune disorder. Like, fuck you. I'm well aware you view us the same way.

There were plenty of other infuriating moments but I don't need to rehash all that.

But it's done now and I don't have to see them again for awhile. And my husband assured me we don't have to go visit them again.

I don't know how we want to approach gender stuff with them going forward. I'm not even upset necessarily bc i didn't really expect anything better from them. But I also don't want to put up their transphobic bs either. But we don't have to decide rn. We can take the time we need to process and feel things.

(are the switches while writing as noticeable as i think they are lol)

There's more to write about, but I'll save that for another post.

[queer-crusader]

Okay update on my life since it seems talking about it doesn’t trigger another panic attack/breakdown:

So i graduated in july right

And with the end of uni, my student funding ends too

So i look for a job bc i cannot sustain myself otherwise

Except the economy is shit, because the UK is handling the pandemic almost worse than any other country in the world (we love that)

Knowing i’ll need some financial support to tie me over, i apply to universal credit

I also know my roommate, who i’ve lived with for 5 years, is moving out in october, and i will need to find someone to replace her or i end up paying £1000/month for living in this flat, which i don’t have of course

Job search becomes more frantic and exhausting and stressful

Also my dad started throwing up at some point and is eating less and is very specific about not upsetting his stomach. This is strange because he is known for his iron stomach and has not thrown up in years. I know my family history, i have my suspicions, but the doctor says it could be an ulcer. It could be fine, but my brain jumps to the worst-case scenario, because why wouldn’t it? More stress

Universal credit gets back to me - application denied

I think, hey, the category they filed me under seems wrong, i should be a habitual resident, not an EEA jobseeker, because i’ve lived here 6 years now. So i apply for an appeal, explaining the situation

Few weeks later, i receive a letter. Appeal rejected. It goes into detail how some rule that was set up in 2016 (Brexit year) lists all the reasons why just living here for 6 years, building up contacts, creating a future, feeling at home, being allowed to vote for Scottish parliament elections, is not good enough. Every sentence is like a punch in the gut. The letter boils down to fancy government words that translate to “you’re a freeloading immigrant who, according to our records, might as well be living in Fiji, and we’re giving you fuck all. Good luck surviving”

Full-blown breakdown ensues, because I’ve been fearing this ever since i arrived but was told by EVERYONE that that fear is ridiculous. I fit in, i belong, i sound English, i’m fluent, i’m passionate and well-educated about local politics, etc. I knew it wouldn’t be good enough. Race doesn’t matter; I’m European, and for the UK government, that’s good enough.

Anyway, cue the next day, and my mum phones me with news

My dad is in hospital. Turns out i was right - bowel cancer. He’s going into emergency surgery the very next day to get a tumour removed

I don’t sleep that night, for obvious reasons

Dad comes out of surgery fine, they got the whole thing, took some extra tests to see if it spread but it’s looking good so far. Meanwhile i have images of my dad, skinny as hell and with a tube up his nose seared into my brain

I fly home two days later to be with my family, who obviously need me

My dad is cleared of cancer, which is AWESOME, but we do learn that if the doctors had waited a couple days longer he could have had a perforated bowel. My mum is furious with the GP who underestimated the case

I get in touch with my landlady, saying “hey, this is my life right now, i am not in a position to search for a roommate replacement. Here’s the pics we took of the flat, can you look yourself? Also, if i don’t find a job by the end of the month, I may have to move out as well due to financial struggles, so keep in mind there’s a chance you’re going to have to look for two new tenants”

Landlady’s reply: “oh i can’t afford for the flat to be empty so i’m gonna sell it now”

So now i don’t even have an option of keeping the flat. I’ll have to move out, job or not. I can’t afford a new flat, and i can’t look for one bc a) pandemic and b) im in another country looking after my recovering dad (who is still losing weight btw, 15kg or 30-something lbs or 2.5 stone in a month, it’s horrible to see but at least he’s feeling a little better each day)

If i lose my flat, i may not be able to get a UK job. If i don’t get a UK job, chances are, i can not return to Scotland

6 years of living here, of building friendships, contacts and connections, skills for a career (which is also down the drain - theatre, an industry that is currently being killed by a lovely combo of the UK govt and the pandemic), a home, a love for the county, an intimate knowledge of the workings here, the language, the system, the stories, the history, i almost know the system here better than the Dutch one - my entire adult life. I may lose.

There is a chance i’ll be able to cling on, and god im fighting for it with the few spoons i have after all this stress, but the chance of me losing everything is equally plausible.

I have now flown back to Scotland where I put myself in self-isolation

In a week, my roommate will have moved out and i have 10 or so days left stuck in this place all by myself

I will spend this time packing up all my belongings, choosing what to take back to my parents’ place with me and what to put into storage, which i will pay for with my remaining savings and some financial support from the parents (they can’t afford much tho, my mum is unemployed and on benefits and my dad is a freelancer recovering from fucking surgery. I have no idea what their financial situation is right now, but apparently they’re okay-ish with their savings. Still, stress, and i don’t wanna burden them even more)

Then there’s the hope that the lockdown won’t have regressed back to that point where every plane is cancelled, and i’m stuck in this country without a place to call my home. (Don’t worry, i won’t end up on the street if this happens, I have friends willing to shelter me until i can fly home if they have to)

And once i’ve left, it’s only a question of when, and more promenently if, I’ll be able to return here, to Scotland.

I have never been this stressed, and i have never been this terrified. I am angry all the time (yes you can read that in Zuko’s voice lmao), I’m exhausted, and i’m fuelled by spite against prime minister Blow-Job and sheer stubbornness in refusing to feel like shit, because i just can’t be bothered with that. I just about manage to get through the day, to get up at a reasonable time, to feed myself, to shower, to exercise (because if i don’t, my wonky hip will give me hell and i’ll be in agony on top of my depression and anxiety. We love functioning bodies). But I’ll be okay. I’m trying to find solutions for everything, one step at a time. I’m taking care of myself the best i can. And if you wonder where my writing updates are, or my shitposts, or my ridiculously excited tags, then firstly, thank you for noticing ohmygod i love you, and secondly, know that i’ll be back. If God exists, know im kicking their ass. Fuck all this bullshit, my life is a mess but i REFUSE to let it stop me in my tracks. I’m too powerful, i am Brian David Gilbert’s interpretation of Sonic (either a god or can kill god and it doesn’t matter which). I’m gonna keep on truckin.

[faedawayyy]

I WANT THE SKI LODGE/THIS CHRISTMAS TO REALLY KICK OFF ALL OF MY CHARACTERS IN INTERESTING AND NEW AND DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. LIKE I WANT TO REVIVE THE RP DAYS WHERE WE WEREN’T SO SCARED ABOUT KEEPING SHIPS AND MORE INTERESTED IN BEING DRAMATIC HOES AND HAVING AMAZING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. SO LMK IF ANY OF THESE SUIT YOU? BUT ALSO PLS DON’T JUST TAKE ALL THE GUY ONES.

THIS IS POST 1: CHARACTERS THAT I CONSIDER O.G’S AND I’M TAKING THEM IN DIRECTIONS THAT MAAAAAYYYYYYBEEEE AREN’T AS STEREOTYPICAL...VERY FEW OF THESE INVOLVE LIKE, CHEATING OR SLEEPING AROUND.

DALLAS 

he’s had a good 3 years of being in relationship and girl drama and having that just doesn’t...make sense...anymore? like him and zara definitely have things they need to work through but i think he’s found someone he really likes and isn’t even looking into everybody else. 

HOWEVER, now that he’s with her, i think his family’s financial situation will become even more desperate bc they’re bankrupt and the calloway’s are like r i c h. so.... 

- SOMEONE HE’S LOANING A LOT OF $$$ FROM: yes, he makes lots from his singing career but his parents are in huge debt and on top of that, there’s margo’s rehab fees and spending problem. everything dallas has earned since his first album has gone to fixing his family and it just hasn’t happened yet. maybe he reaches out to someone over christmas for a big loan and they give it to him, without realising he has literally no plans on paying them back. if they’re going to be nice about it, i dont want it. i want tension w this.  - DIRTY WORK: he’s obviously been a drug dealer before. i’m happy for him to go down that route but again, anyone who is maybe from a sketchy family, dallas would be happy to do their dirty work for them if the price is right. maybe someone knows his family’s situation and takes advantage of this. again, i rly don’t want people being really nice about it.

BRODY 

he’s obviously, officially a dad now. i don’t think the pressure is getting to him, but the whole idea that this is his life forever definitely is. i’m always on the fence with him because he LOVES disney and nobody comes close. affairs just seem a bit old for him, but he still definitely fucks up now and then and i think i’m going to give him a bit of a partying/being out/spending addiction. sooooooo....

- PEOPLE WHO PARTY/GO OUT WITH HIM: think like, wolf of wallstreet or ‘the man’ music video by taylor swift. i think fake friends would definitely come in to play here - people who know he’s wealthy and take advantage of that to have really good nights out and tempt him to just blow tons of money on shit.  ALSO, people using him for publicity and maybe people who sell stories about the wild nights out he has and how much he fucks up/isn’t a great father figure atm.  - FRIENDS WHO COVER FOR HIM - TAKEN BY LEO: they don’t care enough to get him to fix up, but they definitely act as alibi’s and help him to avoid getting into too much shit with disney.

MASON 

i’m reaaalllly liking the idea of mason maybe not being as perfect as he appears on the surface. i think that has slowly started this year but hasn’t been as dramatic as it possibly COULD be. he also has the whole secret of knowing james is alive and nothing has come of that yet, so these are the two directions i want to take him down. SoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO......

- ALLEGED MISTRESSES/FLINGS: mason isn’t brody or leo and it is just natural to him to stay loyal and committed to the person he’s with and obviously, he loves kendall. however, i do think he has a lot of unfinished business with exes (we could also develop new ones if they’re not exes already). we could maybe plot about him rebuilding his relationship with them but it gets misinterpreted and it’s made out as if he’s cheating or something when rly it’d be completely innocent. - SOMEONE WHO CATCHES HIM WITH JAMES AT A SECRET LOCATION - TAKEN BY GISELE: i’d love this one more than ^^^^^^^^ tbh! it’s obviously a hUGE secret that james is alive and mason knows his family won’t forgive him for keeping it a secret if he finds out. this could definitely bring out the nastier side of him and i think he’d even go as far as to blackmail somebody or pay to keep them quiet. we can develop it! 

BLAKE

i struggle SO much with blake because he really is unproblematic. he can be a bit of an idiot but he’s not really into drugs, HE’D NEVER CHEAT, HE’S WITH THE LOVE OF HIS ACTUAL LIFE, and he’s pretty honest and kind for the most part. i’ve had a think, though, and i’ve came up with some of these. SOOOOO.... - MUSIC DRAMA: blake loves 5SOS but i also think his unique style of music is so different from the bands and he’s going to try and explore that in 2021. i kind of want him to work with other artists in the industry and lots of different drama could come out of this:  >> tension with the other 5sos boys and maybe fans who start to fuel rumours that he’s leaving when he isn’t  >> rivalries with some of the more established male artists. dallas would be great for this BUT he’s mine lol >> song-writing credits/arguments. maybe he writes with someone and they don’t feel like they’ve been given enough credit for how much they helped him. i’m very reluctant to do anything with blake’s personal life just bc that really isn’t him. AT THE VERY MOST, maybe some ex relationships for him to base his solo songs around.

HENSLEY

MY BABY IS ENGAGED. WHEN I TELL YOU I THINK I SHED A TEAR FOR HER LAST NIGHT, I’M NOT LYING. SHE’S SPENT THIS WHOLE RP PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY JUST TO BE LIKE “I TOLD YOU SO”....BUT !!!!!!! THINGS ARE CHANGING. ok, here are some ideas i have. these will take a little bit more development but still have a lot of potential.  - AN OLD (TOXIC) FRIENDSHIP REVIVING: there was a time like pre-st judes where hensley was quite off the rails. LIKE, she’d go out, get drunk/high, just not go home for days and i think this all came down to losing autumn in such a weird way....maybe she gets closer to that person again, and they’re a pretty bad influence? i feel like this would put a big strain on all of her healthier relationships. she’ll definitely not stay in the toxic place forever but maybe this friend is kinda passive aggressive like: “oh? you’re getting married? that’s very...not you.” and stuff.  maybe they come from a challenging background too and they were each other’s support systems but it wasn’t a healthy relationship. we could build this up!  - ANY OF EVAN’S EXES/FLINGS: LISTEN BECAUSE SHE IS JUST SO CONVINCED SHE’S NOT THAT EASY TO LOVE, she does find any ex of evan’s threatening no matter what is said or how long ago it was. it’d be interesting to see how that develops bc i think f x f relationships are where hensley’s flaws surface more.

ISSY (TW: RAPE)

OKAY SO PSA: issy is still ruby’s sister but nadine and i have decided to send it back to ruby not knowing that because it was a lot more interesting when it was still a secret. ISSY is still a mum and happy with levi and building her life back up from how damaged it became with her adoptive father in australia. SOOOOO.... - THE FACT SHE’S RUBY’S SISTER - TAKEN BY KENDALL: somebody she opens up to but they’re like “lol ok whatever...no you’re not” and rather than helping her, they think there’s something wrong with her and try to keep her away from ruby bc they think she’s doing it for attention or she’s just some kind of stalker? this would make her feel even less sure about telling ruby. MAYBE said person can kind of tell others that she’s obsessed and it becomes a thing around the academy for a while... - BABY PLOTS: there’s been quite a lot of babies being born. I’D LOVE to do something that maybe gets carried into next gen. maybe issy brings avery on a lot of play dates (when he’s a bit older) with another baby and they jokingly talk about setting their children up? then in next gen, it’ll obviously be up to meg how avery feels about it?

[godblessthecactusess]

hola - welcome to another reaction post

Agents of SHIELD - s7ep11: Brand New Day (WARNING – SPOILERS (obviously))

-          So straight off the bat, reading the tagline, looks fun - “(in order to win against Sibyl/Nathaniel) they’ll have to get creative, and maybe even a little out of this world.” Intriguing. Looks like we could be in for some fun stuff this episode, but I’m really wondering how we’re going to turn this all around in just three episodes (counting the finale as two), so I’m guessing there’s gonna be a big thing to happen that’s gonna end it all. Like, someone’s gonna die, I’m just gonna say it, it’s gotta happen?

-          Also, because I can’t restrain myself, I have been on Tumblr and Twitter today, and I haven’t actively stopped to read what I’ve seen, but because I am rubbish at avoiding it, I have figured out that we’ve got some flashbacks this episode, which appear to have Fitz in them??? I bloody hope so gosh.

-          Right, I’m gonna start it. Deep breaths.

-          Recap, okay.

-          RIP Jiaying.

-          Deke is so oblivious but I still love him and wish that Daisy and Deke had been a thing.

-          Daisy’s been crying nooo

-          So they lost the Zephyr. (And what’s left of the Fitzsimmons fam)

-          They went to space??

-          Daisy’s gonna fight this bitch. (I know I’ve seen it already in clips but still).

-          I’m discovering it’s really hard  to type and pay attention.

-          “I wanna be an agent of SHIELD” 1. I mean, that’s the show but 2. She says with the face of “but like actually don’t trust me look at my evil grin mwhahahaha”

-          Space woowww

-          How do all these randos know how to fly the Zephyr??

-          Did Deke just make a Die Hard reference? (rhetorical, yes he did); I mean I haven’t seen the entirety of Die Hard, but I watched bits last Christmas and I’ve also watched enough B99.

-          …Motherfucker. (again actually something I learned from B99, not Die Hard)

-          Aw Mackelena babysitting

-          Proof?

-          Oh so the team’s finally learning what we learned about time in Endgame.

-          “A Brand New Day” got it

-          Bro I was gonna say that (about it’s basically Project Insight) but he said it better cos he’s Coulson and he’s cooler.

-          “My sister” look at these two

-          Ha lies I bet she’s fucking lying

-          “Sibyl said” the new version of Simon Says

-          Hold up did she just give her the keys?

-          DON’T MAKE ME WATCH THIS AGAIN

-          IT’S A FITZSIMMONS BEST BITS

-          And I’m going to cry

-          DON’T hit my BABY

-          Elizabeth’s eyebrows are to die for

-          WHAT DID THEY DO TO DEKE NO

-          Where’s she going huh

-          Look Sousa put suspenders on

-          Are they his battle suspenders

-          Cos that’s the cutest thing ever

-          I love him

-          “I ALREADY HAVE A SISTER TO SAVE HER NAME IS JEMMA SIMMONS” OMG

-          Science Daisy

-          So she’s really never flown a quinjet huh

-          “It’s your last chance to stay behind” *assertively puts on seatbelt”

-          That moment when you don’t know if it’s a cut to the next scene or Mack’s caught them

-          No wait he’s got his shotgun axe. Bitch ready to go yes.

-          Oh wait he’s telling her off.

-          No he’s agreeing.

-          Omg yes Mack

-          Where does all that water go – I’m assuming there’s a drainage system?

-          So they left Mum and Dad behind rip

-          Is Kora just in the background reading a book.

-          Protective Nana Jemma

-          Nate you never cared about ‘your old man’.

-          Sousa just leaves his seat

       It’s a nice parallel to Goose in Captain Marvel

-          They have an auto-grav setting? But like, the quinjet isn’t made for space.

-          Daisy, ever the optimistic.

-          Mmmmmmspace

-          Oooof pulling the Bahrain card.

-          If May hadn’t done it, she wouldn’t have had a cool backstory, so put that in your pipe and smoke it Kora

-          Mmmmmcreepy messages through a virus in 1980s aesthetic. What a…. well… aesthetic.

-          Sassy Coulson back at it again.

-          I mean you are a fucking robot can’t you just plug yourself in or some shit; I’M NOT VERY SCIENCY OKAY

-          Oh great another “last mission” convo

-          Sounds like you will.

-          Thanks I’m crying

-          Oh wait he doesn’t remember the kiss I forgot that, shit.

-          Can’t just break a fucking window Nate, you’re gonna have to pay for that. Like literally with your own money, please and thanks, I don’t think the team brought any money with them.

-          Ooh love a good Coulson talk.

-          Honestly where would the team be without May? Dead, I think.

-          Burnt toast.

-          Did she just say Grant Ward.

-          Yes she did.

-          Ward would have been worse without Garrett? Uh I think not, not if someone had just called Child Services, and gotten him some fucking therapy.

-          “What are your intentions with Daisy?” Dad Mack coming through, “no funny business” and all that.

-          “I don’t have any intentions.” WHAT A LIE DANIEL HAHAHAHAHA YOU CRADLED HER HEAD ON YOUR LAP WHEN SHE WAS INJURED, YOU CARRIED HER BRIDAL STYLE OUT OF THAT BARN, YOU WERE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE THIS WHOLE MESS, BUT LOOKED RIGHT AT A SLEEPING, RECOVERING DAISY AND SAID “IM RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE”, YOU SAT AND NAPPED IN A CHAIR BY HER BEDSIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, YOU DIDN’T SAY NO WHEN SHE KISSED YOU, SO EXCUSE ME MISTER “NO INTENTIONS” BUT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE WRONG

-          “Well then you better get some” omg we stan mack even though his voice is so deep I often miss what he says

-          “omg shes like so into you gurl” is basically what I just heard. (picture 2000s american teenage girl, phone pressed to ear, chewing gum really loudly etc.)

-          “sir” HES SO POLITE

-          I’m loving this chat and its so true, every single one of them would massacre Sousa if he hurt Daisy.

-          “just like a damn comic book” ahaha haha…. ha. yep.

-          But I do love a good comic book joke in the show.

-          Wasn’t it in like s4, and Coulson said something about Daisy being Director and she was like “ha yeah maybe in the comic book version”? idk man im rewatching SHIELD because I have the worst memory but that was funny too

-          These two’s eyebrows in this scene god.

-          Honestly if you get the chance to rewatch this scene just watch Mack and Sousa’s eyebrows as they turn to look at each other it’s adorable.

-          Alright Sousa no need to be so mean I think it’s a great name.

-          These two giggling together omg the one things I didn’t know I needed.

-          19th century definitely was.

-          FINALLY SOME NEW FITZ AT LAST

-          “can you give us a moment” “yes” “…..oh”

-          What are you suggesting fitz my darling

-          …sooooooooooo….

-          Some time to have a kid maybe.. idk… grow old together…

-          What bloodwork? Did I miss a thing?

-          Snuggling Fitzsimmons ahhhhh

-          I didn’t think Kora would be so sad omg. Now I feel bad for her shit it wasn’t meant to be this way, I-

-          Fitz looks so different omg

-          Omg Fitz grabbing onto her and hugging im soft omg what a beautiful trope

-          WHO’S FITZ WTF OMG NO FUCK SHIT CRAP AHHHHHHHH

-          A kickass fight scene nice

-          Uh oh

-          Nice one May

-          “Sunshine” what an asshole

-          They’re gonna decimate everything wtf

-          Wasn’t there all those ships in the trailer

-          “quake”

-          Look at these cuties

-          Thanos could turn you to dust too.

-          SORRY too soon

-          Uhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck is happening

-          They’re just wiping out shield

-          Rip the Triskelion

-          DON’T YOU TOUCH HER LIKE THAT oh look now I’m being protective wtf is happening to me

-          Urgh absolutely disgusting

-          Well shit

  Uhhhhhhh so this is problematic. I mean, by all accounts, they could just leave this timeline and go back to the OG one. I mean, there’s a canon timeline where Steve learns early that Bucky is alive, Loki has the Tesseract and Steve just told a elevator full of Hydra agents “Hail Hydra” (so a highly chaotic timeline, that the avengers just left) so they could just leave but like, that’s unethical, i guess???? Oh well.

  Let’s go have a look at the new trailer for the FINALE!! ARGH omg its all ending and I’m sad

  WELL im going to cry aren’t I? ffs

Daisy’s accepting that this is their last mission.

“This is what we were fighting for.” Which issss….? 

It really is the end, huh.

The finale will make me cry. There’s not many SHIELD episodes that have made me do that. I think the one that made me cry the most was the spy’s goodbye. And I seem to remember crying when Fitzsimmons were at the bottom of the ocean,  and then laughing through my sobs bc the shot of Fury coming down from the helicopter, arm outstretched like Jesus was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen; but other than that? Not many. 

I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. HELP.

[hamletteprinceofdenmark]

the 100 ask game

tagged by the lovely @pendragaryen

1. What station on the Ark would you be from?

Whichever used to be the Australian station I guess.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

I’d like to say I’d go down for something brave and heroic but it would probably something stupid and trivial, like the space equivalent of jay-walking.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

Not at first, but I’d definitely take it off for that sweet, sweet panther meat after a day or two.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

Well, first of all, I’d punt him halfway across the dropship camp before he even had a chance, so jot that down.

But an elephant, I guess, ugh.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

Fox, poor baby, I miss her.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Murphy, Roan, Clarke, Diyoza

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to?

Floukru babey, take me to the sea!

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Lucia ... but emphasis on the second syllable... so like ... Lu-SHA. It would probably just get shortened down to Sha.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

Finn Collins is the boy who you think is cute at first, but then he turns out to be that middle class white boy who thinks he knows more than the professor in Philosophy & Ethics 101 and interrupts then at every chance he gets. He has a BLM tshirt but also insists on knowing where any POC he meets is “from”. Goes to the Gender Studies class, but you heard through the grapevine that he’s cheating on his girlfriend. Shallow, third-rate garbagé who thinks he knows better than you because he’s ~sensitive~

Finn Collins could die in a fire and I would not care.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

A chip that cures my mental illness and helps me live the day to day nightmare that is Earth? Hell yeah I’m taking it.

11. What character do you relate to most?

Probably Harper actually. I too am a Mum friend who is sweet and caring and who will absolutely rip you a new one if you attack any of my adopted kids.

12. What character do you like the least?

See Question 9.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

black skinny jeans, combat boots, blue long sleeve shirt white singlet layered combo, and big green army surplus jacket.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

Pauna. Rest in peace you chaotic 2-tonne plot hole.

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I probably would have been in the childcare system, or some kind of human relations work.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Of course! I gotta keep our girl Clarke alive in there! Imma be real with you though chief, I would probably be looking at the wall the whole time. I don’t have a great stomach for body gore.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

Out of all the Nightbloods? No one jumps out at me as particularly competent tbh. I’ve got high hopes for Madi though.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

Probably sobbing, stuck within the dark inner workings of Depression Brain. I have absolutely no faith that I would have a good trip.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Charlotte needed help desperately. I would have pardoned her.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Bellamy and Clarke as co leaders.

Kane and Indra as consultants. Raven is head of Tech. Let’s go people!

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

I would’ve been on Kane’s side

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

New books probably.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

I’d probably have the tatts and war paint of my kru. I loved Octavia’s hair during season 2, so something along those lines, or wild and free with beads and braids like Luna.

24. Favorite quote?

“The dead are gone, Clarke, the living are hungry,” is a fucking raw line.

“It won’t survive me,” is another banger.

“You may be the Chancellor, but I am in charge,” cemented my love for Clarke Griffin.

I could go on...

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

Team Cockroach. Murphy.

Clarke and Bellamy have that Plot Armour though so I like their chances.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least fave: I have been prohibited.

Fave canon: Memori.

Fave non-canon: I have been prohibited.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

I am waiting for them to use Bloodsport by Raleigh Ritchie. Or something by either Delta Rae or Sara Barielles, simply because I love them.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Probably be a couch potato. My latent doomsday brain would kick in and I’d just give up, so the bunker finally opening would be a nice surprise.

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

I was chipped and never seen again bro.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

I want more Aurora flashbacks so bad it hurts but I know we’ll never get them. I just want people to stop treating her like she was a deadbeat or even an abusive parent. She wasn’t. She was doing the best with what she had, which was fuck all.

31. A character you’d bang?

They’re all my children ... I couldn’t.

On the other hand, if Lindsey Morgan was interested...

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

EDEN. Are you kidding? I’ll take berries over algae or bunker meat any day.

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

I would follow her cause if I didn’t I Would Die. I would spend my time trying to be as quiet and small as possible, and stay out of her way!

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

Someone reported me muttering dissent when I didn’t think anyone was around.

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

This may come as a surprise but I don’t bond with people very easily (lol). Harper probably sought me out and made sure I was okay. Echo and I have the same sense of humour so we’d probably be close. Monty too. Murphy would drive me up the wall.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

2 weeks, tops.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Hide and observe from a far. Don’t attack or provoke in any way.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

DIYOZA.

McCreary.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

If I’d passed all the tests and training and it was all above board? Sure. If not? Absolutely not are you crazy?!

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

The right answer is algae, but my tastebuds say steak over bugs or glorified pond scum. Sorry.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

I won’t win a fight to the death, so you best believe I’m going to use diplomacy to it’s absolute limits and then some.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

USB to the arm 100% percent. In and out, quick extraction, no pain caused since they’re already dead, and thumb drives aren’t vicious, carnivorous murder worms which is a huge plus.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

If my sister had gone that far off the deep end? Probably. I can’t really imagine it though, my sister is so level headed.

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

I’d volunteer to be a custodian. It suits me. Getting to live in peace, taking care of the people I love for the rest of my life after the chaos and trauma of the ground seems near heavenly.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Bellamy and Clarke.

I tag: @clarkgriffon @honeybellarke @nvermindiseeyou @ffaraday @galaxydanvers @marvelscaptainss @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @perpetual-fantasy @prosciuttoe @fen-ha-fuck-you

The above is in no particular order, and you should feel no obligation to fill out the questions if you don’t want to. This is all fun and games. Take care 💖

[lowkeysebastianstan]

Hello, I understand you're upset over Endgame, but maybe you should wait a bit until things are calmer, and reflect on what happened in the movie? My favorite character is Bucky too, and I do believe Steve's relationship with Bucky was more important than with Peggy (after he woke up in the future), but I also believe the end of Steve's arc is fitting for him. I'm legit just trying to make you see that, perhaps, things aren't as bad as you might think they are?

hi! sorry, i had to let it settle for a day, my first instinct was to be salty af, it just be like that these days, but i realise that you’re coming from a good place, and wish a better experience for me. for which i’m grateful, i am, i get it, as i think i’ve mentioned, i wish we all came away from this movie happy and content, but alas. 

as i sat there watching it i was strangely detached throughout, it was a bit like when i was watching infinity war, but back then i was very doubtful they’d be able to pull it off. but pull it off they did, with a few glaring mistakes, sure, but as a whole infinity war was above and beyond what anyone expected. 

so i think i was lulled into a false sense of security, i let myself believe they’d do it again, but this time better, bc how could they not, this was going to be the last hurrah for several of these characters, the only question was how.

and even if i did enjoy parts of it immensely during the viewing, as i said, i just felt this strange detachment, and idek, it evolved into a panicked disbelief as i realised that no. i’d been had, they failed, omfg did they fail. and this was way before the end, already i had so many issues, so so many. 

my son asked me yesterday, after someone irl actually asked me what i thought, poor sod, and i primarily went on about steve, if there were other things i didn’t like. as a challenge, bc he thought that steve’s ending was the only issue i had, having focused mostly on that, and he, like you, wants me to like it more. and i want that too, especially for him, i feel quilty af that i can’t even pretend, (although at this point they really shouldn’t start in on it, i mean), but then i realised that i’ve spent years waiting for this, giffing, writing, meta-ing, discussing, imagining, just- and he hasn’t obviously. i know i should, as a mum, just shake it off, but i’m also human, and i fuck up way worse than this as a mum on the daily so i figure it could be worse. anyways, he asked me if i could tell him other things i didn’t like. and i answered him, i told him about the tonal problems, the end for nat, the inconsistencies with the time travelling, steve’s lack of grief throughout, (apart from for a woman he’s moved on from with her niece, that had lead a fulfilling and rich life, that had told him to move on, and he’d accepted, idek) the ensuing constant chekov’s compass, (seriously, seeding guys. discreetly. look it up), reducing thor to a comic relief (yes, hemsworth showed his comedic muscles in ragnarok, but come on), the hydra!cap callback, (yikes, really, they felt the need to rip that wound open), the “openly gay” representation, (he had what 3 mins screentime in tws? wow, really going above and beyond the bare minimum) the apparent previous engagement every dustee had to meet back in wakanda at reassembly and a few other things i’m too tired to remember now. 

then he asked if there were anything i liked at all. i remembered two things, although now i actually remember three, so yay! and by liked, i mean still. i loved “worthy”, (even if, in retrospect, is he though), i loved carol’s arrival and i loved the a-force surrounding peter. see? bright side. oh, and bucky looked goooood, (although a bit on the skinny side, maybe not all the dust came back?) but yeah. the scales were kinda skewed. he actually seemed fine with it, but i will stop talking about it in front of him. i think it’s mostly out of my system, and i’m actually considering rewatching it, only to try to find more positives, i will admit that it is overwhelming and things slip through the cracks. 

the ending sealed it for me, obviously. i teared up a little for tony, i’m not a total monster, but then i started crying for real when i realised how badly they were going to handle steve. the first thing i raged over was actually “buddy”. like????? especially since they had called back the sentence previous. i mean. i was still holding back straight after, i actually tried to do what you’ve suggested now, let it settle, maybe it wasn’t as bad as i thought. and it wasn’t. it was way, way way worse. so no. i appreciate the sentiment, but no. the way i feel about this will never change. 

anyhow, i’ve never been this deep into a fandom, and this will be the last time i will be so. sw ends at christmas, this ended now, by this i mean the cap chapter is over in this incarnation, and i doubt i’ll go along to the next phase. oh, i’ll probably watch the movies, but fandom? caring? no. that’s done. and it hurts quite a bit. i had actually hoped this would bring me back not kick me so hard in the c*nt i’ll never recover. so yeah. this is it for me. 

oh, i won’t delete or anything like that. not yet. i won’t even delete @but-i-loved-you-first, and i actually have a few wip gif sets that i might finish (if i ever stop giffing my current subject). i learned my lesson after i deleted my biggest blog after the last jedi trailer dropped, i kinda wish i had that now. and who knows, some other of sebastian’s projects might tickle my interest, one never knows. sadly, right now, that’s not the bucky/sam team up. damn.

right. i think i’ve given more than enough of an answer, again it’s painfully apparent i don’t get many asks, so thank you. i probably needed to vent a bit. 

i hope you’re having a kick-ass day, and that you continue to enjoy fandom and every positive it entails.

ps: for anyone wondering, i’ve not given up on finishing hc, i still want to, if for nothing else to manage to complete my own challenge, but i’ve been, er, distracted since i came back.

pps: i remembered two more things i liked, i liked how they reintegrated gamora without retconning the stupid soul stone caveat, and i thought rocket was maybe the best character in the movie. :)

[wvrmtails]

(  and what loneliness is more lonely than distrust?  )

( keiynan lonsdale, twenty one, agender ) my goodness, is peter pettigrew back? it’s been a few years since the halfblood has been around the castle, but i’d recognize he/they anywhere. rumor has it the seventh year spent the past few years aligned with the order. they’re stillallocentric & cunning and obsessive & passive, though. and the gryffindor still reminds me of ketchup stains on band shirts, an incomprehensible minute long string of curses, tracing the veins in your wrist, the smell of breakfast and fresh coffee, card tricks at three in the morning. well, then, i guess some things never change. 

links:  playlist.  pinboard.  stats. 

triggers: child abandonment, eating disorder (specifically bed/bulimia), depression, anxiety, weed. there’s a heads up before every bulletpoint!

history.

child abandonement mention |  peter grew up in glasgow, scotland and was raised by his mother, a halfblooded witch called daraja pettigrew. his dad wasn’t in the picture, hadn’t been from the moment his mum had told him that she was pregnant. | end of mention

which meant peter learned how to be alone from a young age. his mother worked a lot, after all, so she could pay the rent of their small flat and give peter the bare minimum, the things he needed. peter delved into fictional worlds: he read books. comics, mostly, but also a lot of roald dahl. he also watched a lot of telly, because tv is the bomb.

went to muggle elementary, where he was kind of? an odd one out. his clothes were always a bit lumpy, his words a bit jumbled, his eyes shifty. was an outsider on good days, a target on less good ones. he spent many lunch breaks eating alone, and most of the time he didn’t mind — being alone meant he could let his mind wander.

still, it fucked with his self esteem. no kid likes feeling alone, or like an outsider.

and then hogwarts rolled around and! friends! marauders! peter felt so at home! oh my god okay listen. he loves the marauders so much and he was so hyped and happy to be part of this little group and there was a Lot of hero worship there, esp in the early days?

peter always loved heroes. he loves comic books and people who save the day and get the girl and do it all. i think he kind of … projected that onto james and sirius especially? did not know how to do this friendship thing as an 11 year old tbh, was a mess, was blinded by their amazingness damn

also. re: being sorted into gryffindor! peter admires heroism and bravery and chivalry, and it’s your values that get you sorted some place. and he does try to be brave, and he IS, because he becomes a damn animagus for his bud! i mean! he was not a hatstall btw  — i choose to ignore that stupid bit of post canon. it took a while for the hat, sure, but no more than two minutes. 

pete was & is a shit student, not bc he was dumb, but just because school was not. his thing. his jam. the system was just not for him. deadlines? exams? homework? no thank you. anyway, peter’s skills flourished a lot more in different settings, like … using charms for convenience. or becoming an animagus for his bff. making potions against hangovers. etc.

becoming an animagus for remus was ! important ! to peter ! he did it for remus, not because of peer pressure, or anything else — he did it because it was right, and his friend deserved it and ! he did it, too, because he could. sure, his transfig grades may have been more than poor, but the kid did have some skill. he just needed motivation, which mcgonagall didn’t give (bc. she scared him.) and this situation? motivated the hell out of him. 

peter would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken a bit aback when he learned about remus’ lycanthropy — not because he was scared of him, to be honest, but he was just ? shocked ? he was more scared for remus, and so sad? so fucking sad for him? : (

collects chocolate frog cards like it’s his damn job. i mean, he did it before hogwarts, but once he arrived and there was more opportunity to trade and a whole club dedicated to it, peter grew more and more driven to complete his collection, lmao. peter also really likes playing gobstones and is pretty good at it? same with chess & card games — he loves games!!!! so much!!!

weed & anxiety tw | peter started smoking pot in the summer between his fourth and fifth year, and never really stopped. it made him slack more at school, but also eased his anxiety, which had started to develop in his fourth year. as months passed, peter became more and more of a stoner, which made him both more relaxed and funnier, but also ... a whole of a lot lazier. | end of weed tw

peter had always been a bit ... fidgety, easily on edge, a bit nervous, but he’d never really known anxiety until around fourteen years old. his insecurities grew, as he started comparing himself more to his friends and finding nothing but things he lacked in comparison to them, and questions as to why they put up with him. | end of anxiety tw

so his schooldays mostly looked like ... doing nothing, playing games, having fun with his mates, getting high, forgetting his homework, stressing about homework, and somewhere, in a tiny corner of his being, worrying about the war. whenever those worries started coming up, though, he was able to push them away, because the war was not yet there, not for him at least. there was graduation to worry about first, and once that was done, then he could worry about the war.

and then the war came to hogwarts. peter was shocked. peter had been in denial about the war and how close it could hit him, because in his mind he and his friends would be safe at hogwarts, would be safe until at least graduation, and then that was all gone. peter didn’t do much during the battle. i can imagine that he just hid, that he tried to stay out of trouble, that a side of him showed itself that he did not like at all. he worried about his friends, hoped they were safe, but didn’t go looking for them, didn’t try to protect them: he clung to safety and hid. like a fucking coward. he prayed, for a moment, and then cursed god to hell and back. probably smoked a few cigarettes, too.

post battle & currently.

peter is ashamed. ashamed of his cowardice, ashamed of his passiveness, of his incapability to stand up and fight, like so many of his friends did. a disgust grew in his chest for himself, and yet he was glad, somewhere, that he had hidden. he’d not seen as much as others had. he’d not gotten hurt. he had not died.

he did join the order, along with his friends, in an attempt to make up for his earlier lack of bravery, but he finds himself incapable to do much. he’s not good at dueling and while he’s able to be strategic and cunning, his mind seems to shut down whenever he tries to apply himself. he’s terrified, frankly, and he’s angry, because he should just be at fucking hogwarts. 

that idea i mentioned earlier, that the war wouldn’t be real until after graduation, and then graduation being postponed significantly, kind of froze peter up. rather than dedicating himself to the order in his own ways, as he would do in a canon verse, or eventually deciding to walk over to the death eaters, peter just became passive. i think peter hung around hq a lot, cleaning up and cooking food and making sure there was always enough tea/coffee/beer/liquor around for when there were meetings. would rather clean a dirty toilet than go on a mission. The Order’s personal MAID! 

depression & weed & eating disorder (bed/bulimia) tw | peter feels useless. he feels like a shitty person. he feels like he’s a burden. he hates himself. peter starts secluding himself, hiding in his mother’s home. he smokes more pot. he sometimes goes a week without seeing someone besides his mum. he watches too much telly and reads comics and drowns in fictional worlds and he becomes depressed. he sinks into it without noticing and can’t come back from it. his eating habits ( which have always bordered on unhealthy ) turn worse; peter binges, and then restricts, falls into a cycle. it’s the only routine he has.

when he’s around his friends, he lives up a little. he cracks jokes and wants to play games and laughs and feels a bit more alive, but he always craves his time on his own. that’s his new way to feel safe: to stick to his newly found routine, hidden in his room, away from reality. | end of tw

and then, finally, he was able to return to hogwarts. the three years spent away from school feel like a blur, if you ask him now, a useless blur, and peter’s laughing when he steps on the train. he’s glad. he’s glad. he can return to his plan to graduate and then, maybe, find the power in himself to face the war, rather than still, kind of, deny it. peter just wants to return to his last year and make the most of it, and return to the way life once was. ( that that’s kind of impossible is, well, yet another thing he’s in denial about. )

random facts & ramblings.

peter parker is his favourite superhero just because ... they share a first name and because peter parker is a bit of an underdog too and peter is just like! amazing! he named his owl parker.

he hates cats. used to love them --- he was allowed to take the cat from home with him to hogwarts when he was eleven, but he brought him back home after an unfortunate incident where his cat nearly ate him while he was in his animagus form. “sorry ma, i don’t love him any more. here. have him.” 

peter is actually a solid cook. this is because he learned to make some basic food when he was still a kid, first with his grandma, and later on his own. he liked doing it for his mother and he was. .. good at it? peter is also just passionate about food and finds comfort in cooking. breakfast food and baked goods are Prime Food Categories. 

he is asexual af, panromantic. has kissed both guys and gals and nb pals but did not like it??? confused. does not understand sexuality and all that jazz but tries not to think abt it because like! he’s got enough stress! doesnt need to think abt this!

peter is also agender, but i think he’s a lot less aware about this, because it’s confusing and so he just tries not to think about it. he does feel okay with he/him pronouns, but just doesn’t feel connected at all to being a boy/man

peter has abandonment issues because his dad, well, never even bothered to be there. not even for a second. he’s just constantly scared that people will leave and it’s funny, because he will probably end up abandoning all of his loved ones KDJFHSDF.

peter is quite non confrontational but also not ... meek? he just avoids it, either by physically staying out of people’s way or by dismissing most of the things said and getting out of there. a Passive Kid. will, however, defends his friends honour, because damn it, he loves them so much.

he’s such a fucking dork i swear to god. but he’s funny! peter is really funny. i deeply believe in this. he makes great puns and is able to just come out of nowhere and make a comment that just. hits the nail right on its head. 

peter curses a lot and has a scottish accent and sometimes he will have a minute long cursing session that no one rly understands.

listen i have such a wide array of hc’s im not going to list them all here just ask me

possible plots.

tutors. someone help peter graduate bc that is like. something he does want to do. he’s taking his newts in transfig, potions and herbology.

fellow collectors. please trade chocolate frog cards with peter and help him finish his collection before he loses his gd mind.

let’s play a game! peter rly likes playing games and tbh he’s usually in for one ( though it does depend on who you are, lmao ) so! maybe your character and peter just like hanging out and playing some Games.

i will add more im just so tired of typing rn KSDFHSJKDFHKJSDFKDSFH

[khodorkovskaya]

first of all your family situation sounds really complicated, and im so so sorry. You need a strong support base, especially if you're going to take care of that poor child. but also you dont sound like you're getting any (?) support from your bf, either in family turmoil or in professional/student ventures, or at the house, or with your needs. You may be "happy" while with him but does anything he *does* make you happy? I don't want to bash him at all but he doesnt seem to be doing his part

i don't know what he's supposed to do it this situation, frankly. he doesn't want to take care of my half-sister in the future and that's fair, this whole thing is fucked up. the worst case scenario of how things might turn out is obviously bad, but even the not-so-worst case scenario is already scary. i totally get where he's coming from. i would've loved a bit more empathy from him but he's not a very empathetic person in general. and it's hard to have empathy towards alcoholics who value booze over their own child, i get it.

and for the other stuff, i myself don't know if im really getting the support i need. i have a very strong support system within my family (mum and stepdad), so i technically don't feel like i need more. but im starting to wonder if this will last. i feel like if we have serious issues to deal with (like the half-sister adoption situation), my bf and i are gonna struggle a lot. we don't have a lot of values in common, so when it comes to difficult situations where there are no right and wrong answers, we never agree on what to do.

the thing is, i think he cares about me, but his max effort is not enough for me. he's very concerned about my studies and career for example. we often have long discussions about my future and he gives me a lot of advice. or, a more specific example, i have exams at the end of august and he's gonna do all the housework/cooking this month so that i can focus on studying. so you see, he does support me on a basic level. if i ask him to help me, he will. but the problem for me is that i really want him to go the extra mile for me. and i don’t think he’s capable of it. 

getting sidetracked, but we went to sarajevo together for 2 days and i didn’t have a lot of time to get myself a souvenir. since he was staying there for 5 more days, i asked him if he could get an owl for me (i collect owls). and he did. but it was just the owl and nothing else. and he knows i love sarajevo and all the little shops there. like i would’ve bought so much if i had the time. and i was v disappointed that he got me just this one thing that i asked for. and like... not to sound spoiled but, even though i asked just for the owl, i would’ve loved if he got me something else too. like “hey, these earrings made me think of you” or “here are those baklavas you really liked” or something. 

and it’s always this way with him. his maximum effort is the bare minimum for me. yes, he got me the thing i asked for, but does he buy me spontaneous gifts? no. yes, he’s gonna cook dinner for me when i study, but is he gonna make me cute tupperwares to take to the library? no. yes, he is concerned about my family situation, but is he gonna make changes in his life to help me? probably not. and i don’t know if im the needy one for wanting more bc maybe im spoiled bc my friends and family will kill for me and that’s the treatment im used to. so idk. he’s supposed to be my number one but he will never go the extra mile for me and im getting tired of it.

[reyskyber]

The 100 ask game

I was tagged by my bae @asroarke.  But it was like 6am and I was on mobile.  (I got some pretty weird looks at the bus stop while I was near cackling at your answers Alex omg!)

rules: answer as many as you want if tagged and then tag three more people OR just reblog it and treat it as a regular ask meme!! have fun xoxo

1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? So I thought about this a lot, I’d be shouting at my siblings for doing shitty scottish accents or singing wonderwall at me and I’d scream and someone would hear me and then I’d go to prison for helping my mum to harbour extra people.

2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? Um, maybe?  I probably would to get food but I doubt I’d pull a Finn and try and take it off for the sake of it.

3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) a fox?  idk tbh if finn gave me a necklace I’d give it right back

4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? WELLS JAHA omg

5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Bellamy bc he seems to be the only one who can drive the rover?  Raven because she’s amazing does this even need a reason? Monty because we could geek out over plants even tho i hate biology.  Jasper just so I could keep him safe.  I feel like if I include Clarke I’m asking for trouble since her and Bellamy can’t get in the rover together without some kind of accident happening.  But I love her with all my heart and we’d need her.

6. Minty or Briller? Minty for life, I just didn’t like Bryan :/

7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!): Iylah(?) I’m juts using Niylah without the N, soo

8. Thoughts on Finn? Omg don’t get me started.  I just don’t understand how you can grow up with Raven Reyes and fall in love with her and have her love you back and then get to earth and act as if she doesn’t exist?  Granted, I am also a sucker for beautiful blonde girls, but I’m not dating Raven Reyes sooo.  I think my main problem with Finn was how he was always like “yeah, Clarke I know I didn’t tell you about Raven but I miss you.”  or “Raven, you’re telling me I hurt your feelings?  But what about my feelings?”  Like he was just so self centred.  I’m gonna stop rn before I make this entire post about Finn.

9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? Idk really, probably really easy because I literally follow what everyone else is doing at all times.  If they advertised it as a fashion thing oh boy, I’d be right there.

10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc…  I once did two of those “which character are you?” quizes, and I got Clarke in one and Bellamy in the other.  I think i’m more like Bellamy though, in that I’d do anything for my family and I go with my emotions rather than thinking things through first.  Also riddled with regret and guilt. Idk about liking the least, I personally don’t like Niylah but I really don’t know why?  She’s a really well done character and everything but idk something doesn’t sit right with me and I can’t put my finger on it (?)

11. Describe your delinquent outfit: Black skinny jeans, but that’s a given.  I think a t shirt like Clarke’s and then either her iconic s2 leather jacket or Raven’s red bomber jacket bc I love them both.  And the combat boots that everyone has.  And I think I’d style my hair like Raven’s bc it’s so pretty.

12. Favorite type of mutant animal? Pauna idk? 

13. What would your job be on the Ark? making food with the Greens.  I’d be the judgy older friend that told Monty and Jasper not to do drugs but then just rolled my eyes when they did it anyway.

14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked it? If Abby asked me to jump from the top of the tower in Polis I would do it with little to no hesitation.

15. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, then who would make the best commander? Anya, she always deserved better <3

16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor? Just for purely selfish reasons: Azgeda so I could train with Echo.

17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? I get headaches from smelling weed near me so I’m terrible near any kind of drug, I think I’d end up like Jasper and get really scared of something that wasn’t there, or go the complete other way and discuss changing the tides with Monty.

18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? I’mma leave that for Clarke and Bellamy.  I would not be involved in that conversation at all.  Sort of like Finn, just stood at the side watching them eye fuck each other.

19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone? I really loved Abby as chancellor, and Kane.  That being said, Kane, Abby, and Jaha all have a tendency to still be going for “adults vs kids” when it comes to problem solving, so maybe have one of the 100 as chancellor?  But everyone’s in the bunker now so idk how relevant that is?

20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod)What is the one thing you would snatch while there? I would grab Maya’s ipod so fast, I hope she has good taste in music.

21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like Octavia? I’mma touch wood rn but I’ve never actually had the flu or anything so I think I might have a strong immune system??

22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? I like the swirling ones that Lincoln had so maybe some like that?  For hairstyle I’d go for Octavia in s2 because that’s a look.  And I doubt I’d be going to war so no war paint for me.

23. Favorite quote? She stopped being a kid they day you sent her down here to die.

24. Can you forgive Murphy for his actions? How about Bellamy? Yes and yes.

25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? I think Murphy would have a really good shot, like he’d trick everyone into thinking he was dead or something and then he’d murder them all while they were asleep or something.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CLEXA OR BELLARKE. Still not set on Clarke and Niylah, but like I said that’s bc of some weird thing I’ve got against Niylah that I’ve not figured out yet.  Obvs bellarke are my faves, but other than that I really like Minty and Braven because their dynamics are both really interesting and I love them <3

27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? So, I thought about this a lot.  I really wanted a slow or instrumental/guns n roses version of knockin’ on heaven’s door for the bellarke reuinion. BUT the lyrics and the meaning of that song were really important for 216.  So, what if they played knockin’ on heaven’s door again but like at the end of s5 after someone (maybe octavia) dies or something???  Or like in the middle of the war?

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time? He’d make jokes, I’d laugh, he’d scowl, repeat for the next 5+ years 

29.Opinion on Emori? Roan? Loved Emori in s4, hyped to see her in s5.  OMFG do not.  Roan did not deserve to die, and death by drowning?? I thought we were gonna have a call back to 302 when he tried to drown Clarke and she thought she was done and he jumped back out in typical extra Roan style.  Then we could have had some really good Roan/Octavia scenes where they talked about Bellamy???

30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way? Not really, can I not just survive in the background like Shawn Mended? 

31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? I’m gonna agree with Alex on this one and say we needed back story on Roan.  But I’d also like to see more of the Jahas, like what happened to Wells’ mum and what Wells did to get on the dropship.  What were things like when Diana was chancellor???

32. A character you’d bang? So many, that’s a whole other post tho.

I’m gonna tag @the-most-beautiful-broom, @bellamyblake-kru, and @nathanmillers (sorry if you guys have already done this <3)

[calumcest]

i'm glad you're feeling better! and honestly i'm shook? i didn't even know you had that many career possibilities in other countries? like my brain automatically went from reading history and german (both truly great subjects btw) to lehramt.. honestly everything sucks about our education system and i'm sorry it's constricting your plans of moving here :( (pt1)

(pt2) though i can't understand why you'd want to leave london the literal best city in the whole entire world for germany like even with my very big love for berlin i just don't get it 🙈 (in case it isn't obvious: i love london with my entire heart) did you always live there? sendung mit der maus is truly quality tv :) did you end up rewatching it?

(pt3) your masters thesis sounds so interesting! i'd love to know more about it bc i only know a little bit about differences in gay rights between east and west but like next to nothing about how they handled hiv/aids and the influence of language is so fascinating too oh my god that made me crack up 😂 my mum grew up around hohenschönhausen 😅

(pt4) and yes exactly! like some jobs were treated so much more fairly and also what really surprised me was that according to my history teacher the east was actually a bit better/faster than the west in regards to womens rights (for example abortion was legal in the east earlier) okay so from your stories i definitely relate more to the british approach to criticism 😂 i can't tell people their ideas are shit bc i hate confrontation

(pt5) though i too was shooketh about how polite people in the uk are.. like just in a shop or sth everybody was always so nice it was weird 😅 so i get your mum's confusion. also i can't believe you apologise when someone bumps into you?? i mean this particular thing is sth i get very mad about bc i love my personal space but like just in general why do you apologise when it wasn't your fault? like yes i do apologise when i do it but if it's the other person's fault 😶

(pt6) yeah it definitely depends on the situation/person i think for practical reasons i say german first but try to mention berlin asap. aw thank you i appreciate it :) but oh my god i'm actually so sorry that happened to you, like while i love them for nostalgic reasons i agree that pfannkuchen(/berliner) can be so disgusting especially when you're expecting a crepe :( oh YES thank you so much i've been saying this exact thing for years!!

(pt7) like why do we need cases and genders when english works just fine without them? i don't wanna hear about genitiv ever again thank you very much. the correct plural is kakteen and kaktusse just sounds like a profanity and they went and made it an official possibility bc people kept saying it and ever since that i've hated duden with a passion. alex should definitely pay you for the promo & i've seen vegas mentioned on your blog a few times now so i'm gonna listen to it too :) -spoiler twin

thank u!! also i know right trying to explain that in germany was insanity they were like oh so ur working at a school bc u wanna become a teacher? :) and i was like absolutely not and they were like but u study history and german...SNDFJSNKDJF i think its insane that ur expected to choose your whole career path at the age of 18 though thats so stressful! 

omg have you been to london before? also i didnt but i did rewatch an old episode with my parents bc i reminded them about it and we were reminiscing and its STILL as good as i remember it being good old christoph and his green jumper

thank u!! god i dont actually know THAT much about the language yet bc i havent started researching but a few interesting points i’ve picked up are that 1. they always referred to drug users as ‘fixer/fixerinnen’ which is obviusly like...quite a politicised term when they had the option to say like drogenabhängige or sth 2. academics would constantly refer to ‘ansteckungsverdächtigen’ and the verdächtig in that is like...HMMM...not good 3. there was a medical panel held in 1987 in east berlin which used english terminology to describe sexual practices that carried increased risk of hiv transmission (e.g. fisting) and because lots of people didn’t speak english they weren’t actually being educated on what they should be avoiding/doing more safely SO!! theres a lot to look at i havent really started researching like i said i should though but theres already a lot of interseting things in there imo sorry this is probably super boring i just get very excited about it

oh absolutely!! it was because of necessity (the way the ecnomy was set up meant that they needed all available bodies working) but it meant that there were SO many more provisions especially childcare and you can still see that prevailing today theres a huge divide between east/west in terms of maternity leave and childcare 

omg SSNKDJFNKSJDFN honestly i have no idea we just do we literlaly apologise when we bump into lampposts its just an instinct bc u assume that its your fault bc you were in the way so u need to apologise for it but once the kids in germany started being like why the fuck are you apologising i had to physically stop myself apologising SKJDFNSJNDF

thats fair enough go di miss berlin so much i’m so desperate to go back theres stll so many things i havent seen bc ive never stayed longer than a week and its such a rich city you need more time to explore it i miss it so much lord take me back to the alexanderplatz galeria restaurant so i can eat overpriced schnitzel <3 whats your favourite german food? i have to say for me personally linsen & spätzle and maultaschen (my oma is swabian) for nostalgic purposes but marmorkuchen...schnitzel...bratwurst...klöße...weißwurst...brezel...lebkuchen...kaiserschmarrn...plätzchen...theres these lovely plätzchen my mum makes at xmas wait let me ask her what theyre claled i cant describe them. ok apparently theyre just schokoladenplätzchen ‘aber ich hab ein besonderes rezept von der ur-oma ha ha ha!!!!!!!’ (direct quote) GOD now i am desperate to go back to germany we cant get ANY good food here i swear to god . oh you know what i really love as well german junk food god you do junk food like nobody else the chocolate aisle in rewe <3 <3 <3 i miss the ja! chocolate chunk cookies so much

CORRECT i hate cases so much i’m so bad at them i still have no idea if its dem or den half the time how does it make a DIFFERENCE...also correct but the genitiv is dying anyway as we keep being told by our lecturers Der Dativ Ist Dem Genitiv Sein Tod <3 kakteen is a very intersting prospect i never considered that but the more i think about it the more i agree also kaktusse DOES sound like profanity but german swear words just arent that great anyway like fick please that upsets me so much ALSO i hope u enjoyed vegas! 

[paul-patts-blog]

all for my boyfriends (why am i not dating any of your women?)

no women for u. 

BERLIOZ 

☾ - sleep headcanon-- berlioz rarely  sleeps in the nude. even after sex, he gets cold and has to grab a shirt and boxers. many times he has managed to sweet talk simba into doing it so he can stay curled in the covers. 

★ - sad headcanon- ugh his entire demeanor?? there r just so many 

☆ - happy headcanon- ber has learned a lot of life skills the past two years, like laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming-- even cooking! tbh he has grown to really like coming over to help nounou prepare dinner since he does that (or did that) with simba. 

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- ber’s anger is cold and sharp. he is not a physical guy but knows how to say like the perfect brutal thing. dem bonfamilles yo. 

✿ - Sex headcanon- ber is nasty. UHHHH. ber never went down on a girl and probably never will lolololol 

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- as a young broody teen, ber literally made a KEEP OUT sign that he put on his doorknob at all times. it was mostly for marie tbh who terrorized him and his stuff

♡ - romantic headcanon- ber literally can’t look at a rose without thinking of simba and also simba’s aunt who has a rose farm. for the rest of his life, that’s what he’ll think about. 

♥ - family headcanon- hector was the person who bought berlioz his first david bowie album and on the day bowie died-- ber actually texted his dad and they had a CALL about it. it’s one of the only things they have in common. 

☮ - friendship headcanon- ber is literally the best friend u can have ok if u get him on ur side he’s one of those who will ride or die, offer to bury the body, etc. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- he really likes MAPS. whenever he goes to a new city he picks up the city map and keeps it. his desk is like fuuuull of maps. i’m sure lou has gotten him like old, antique maps before that he has in frames. 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- likes really long plane rides, longer the better, loves airplane food, loves the whole nine yards /  dislikes any gossip or reality tv show it like literally makes him SO mad like he can’t watch dance moms or keeping up with the kardashians he gets /upset/ bc ppl are so /mean/ and /stupid/ and he hates it 

▼ - childhood headcanon- would wake up early to watch pokemon his one exception to the sleep until noon rule. 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- ber will be that old man busting out beautiful piano pieces in random places bc he will have lost all his fucks by then

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- wow can my above one with nounou count-- uhhh he is in charge of cutting veggies. 

☼ - appearance headcanon- ber is the type of boy to never take off his concert wristbands. sometimes he picks at them and they get ripped up and nasty and eventually they fall off. 

ൠ - random headcanon- i am bad at these uuuuuh ber once sang the pina colada song to simba when he was drunk outta his brain and simba probably captured a good 80 percent on video. 

◉ - Any other question of your choosing- idk im uncreative

HADES

☾ - sleep headcanon- hades has discovered that listening ot books on tape helps him get to sleep! 

★ - sad headcanon- uh that his mum didn’t leave a goodbye note 

☆ - happy headcanon- uhhh once opal saved up her money and took hades and persephone out to the movies and then they had ice cream!!! and that was the closet thing to a holiday that hades had as a child oh this god sad again

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- he used his ghost powers on his grandfather to like smash his grandfather’s head into the kitchen counter after he said something Truly Rude and knocked him out and seph was scared and crying and he had to call the ambulance and tbh he was very scared and felt guilty these r all sadder than my sad headcanon

✿ - Sex headcanon- goes down on belle at every opportunity bc he has a control kink (also does fantasize about her going down on him boy just likes oral sex)

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- hades room is immaculate. he makes his bed every single day and washes his sheets once a week. or he did now he lives in hell and its SO DUSTY and he does all the dusting, 

♡ - romantic headcanon- uh lmao fuck uh. hades version of romance is having belle practice the debate questions with him. 

♥ - family headcanon- opal taught both her kids to read and do arithmetic before their peers and that’s why the acherons r smart alecks 

☮ - friendship headcanon- hades now plays words with friends with belle AND lou. wow. so popular. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- hades organizes the cereals in the pantry by alphabetical order. and the spices. and soups. basically anything that can be organized he likes having systems ok. 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- blackjack and really gambling in general tbh he’s real good at it / dislikes- fried food 

▼ - childhood headcanon- walked to school no matter the weather bc people on the bus would torment seph and though he woulda FOUGHT THEM OFF seph just wanted to avoid it so, he walked her to school

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- hades is honestly going to have trouble giving up immortality. he’s vain and he doesn’t want to grow old tbh. and bc he’s the ambassador he almost doesnt /have/ to ... 

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- hades loves chocolate milk its a sinful indulgence that he probably hid from belle for a long time and tbh he still denies himself chocolate milk a lot like challenges himself to go without chocolate milk for 90 days stupid shit like that everything’s a competition BUT HE LOVES CHOCOLATE MILK SO MUCH 

☼ - appearance headcanon- always immaculate. always. 

ൠ - random headcanon- hades sometimes refolds belle’s clothes that she folds bc its not good enough, sorry hon, 

◉ - Any other question of your choosing-don’t come at me

PAUL 

☾ - sleep headcanon- paul’s sleep schedule has long been outta wack, so he usually can only sleep three or four hours before his body gets himself up. normally he goes and gets a glass of water or if it’s a more restless night, he’ll have to read himself back to sleep. 

★ - sad headcanon- paul was the one who told his mother that lucas died 

☆ - happy headcanon- when the babies were born paul like basically spent the entire day taking pictures of themmm with perdy and he was so so happy and he still has every single picture no matter how terrible the shots 

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- paul has a tiny bit of a violent streak in him that he can mostly control, but he does get into fights with other blokes and has thrown stuff when he gets mad. 

✿ - Sex headcanon- the first time paul had sex his first words were “holy shit” quickly followed by “sorry” quickly followed by him coming. it was not the most impressive first time.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- paul and lucas shared a room and they were around the same size and had lots of the same tastes so they shared everything else too, so often that when lucas died, paul couldn’t remember if certain shirts were his, which albums were his, etc. 

♡ - romantic headcanon- paul is the type to write random notes and leave them around the house. he did this for perdy when she was pregnant and some of them had clues that led to OTHERs because he’s extra we know he’s extra 

♥ - family headcanon- the patts family is rarely all in one place, but they always congregate for one thing: football in the spot. unless paul’s mom is having a bad time, even she’ll come down. 

☮ - friendship headcanon- though roger is certainly his best friend, harry is his oldest friend-- knowing him since they were both wee lads in primary school around 6 or 7 years old. they tried out for the football team together. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- paul actually knows how to brew his own beer! he learned his from johnny, who is a beer connoisseur and like makes his own types and swears he’s gonna get rich of them (probably never will) but Paul used to help Johnny with the whole process and they’d organize like ‘tasting’ parties which-- was just a bunch of men getting very drunk and playing card games tbh.  

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- shopping for new clothes, he always feels so fancy and rich / grocery shopping nothing could be more boring and he usually impulse buys like more beer and sweets than he needs lol 

▼ - childhood headcanon- paul broke his arm when he was 8 after falling out of a tree and into the shrubbery. he was trying to hide from simon who had just got a new paintball gun and wanted to use paul as his target practice !!! 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- paul is gonna be the old guy who thinks he’s “cool” and “hip” and will like do the line dances and idk probably pick up a mid-life crisis hobby like SKIING thats dangerous but makes him feel “alive.”

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- his mother makes the most amazing cinnamon hot cocoa. whenever he’s sad, it’s what he craves, to him, sadness tastes and smells like cinnamon. 

☼ - appearance headcanon- paul loves getting ready for events. he and perdy would spend an equal amount deciding on outfits and doing their hair and shit he just-- feels so goddamn fancy. 

ൠ - random headcanon- paul lets edith read all his stories. she is the only one. she still gets emailed drafts. this is because edith hates reading, so if edith likes something, he knows that it’s good.

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

[artlessictoan]

Idk if you still do this Genfer,sexuality, and so in headcanon thing but if could you do chouchou,Metal lee, shikadai,temari and/vor baki. Thanks!

oh jeez i was absolutely not prepared for this sdkahjd sorry it took me a while to reply, but sure idm doing more of these!

Chouchou:

sexual orientation headcanon: gay af!

gender headcanon: hmmm don’t have any strong thoughts on this one, cisgirl i guess?? or maybe trans girl??? she/her anyways

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon: ..i think there’s just something about the Akimichi gene pool that guarantees relative mental stability tbh

3 random headcanons: 

1. had a crush on Yodo since basically the moment they met, but dated a few other girls before Yodo finally had her Gay Epiphany and asked her out

2. though she inherited her father’s techniques, she much prefers kenjutsu training with her mum and wants to find a way to somehow combine the two styles one day

3. she’s really into flower arranging thanks to her aunt Ino, but has absolutely no patience for actually growing things

Metal Lee:

sexual orientation headcanon: panrom ace, has really strong crushes, but he gets suuuper shy about confessing

gender headcanon: trans boy, gets quite bad dysphoria, but his dad is very supportive and helps him out a lot, since he’s a trans man himself!

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon: dyspraxia and social anxiety, it’s quite severe in his childhood, but with time and help he learns how to manage his symptoms better

3 random headcanons: 

1. is the oldest of the next-gen kids, and thus Everyones Big Brother, he gives the best hugs, looks out for all his baby sibs and regularly attends Hima’s tea parties

2. he’s actually partially deaf and needs hearing aids, he also uses sign language a fair bit!

3. loves his grandpa Gai, can often be found running him around the village in his wheelchair and making up grand stories to tell him (Gai cries every time bc his grandson is just so amazingly creative)

Shikadai:

sexual orientation headcanon: aroace! not repulsed at all, just utterly baffled by the whole romance thing

gender headcanon: agender, though doesn’t really care what pronouns are used for them

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon: hmm, maybe something like Bipolar II? they disassociate quite often too

3 random headcanons: 

1. honestly thinks that their mum is The Best and idolizes her so much, try as the might to pretend otherwise

2. is lazy, but in a weird way that comes across as actually being really motivated and energetic, bc they do things asap and as efficiently as possible, just so they can go back to doing fuck all in peace

3. has a very involved secret handshake with Kank, one that has been developing since they were like 4 and as a teen takes about ten minutes to perform (they tried to make one for Gaara too, but he just ends up sitting there looking very confused every time)

Temari:

sexual orientation headcanon: tbh i hc her as like five different orientations depending on my mood ajkfsjd mostly bi (with a strong pref for girls), gay, or aro lesbian

gender headcanon: ciswoman or intersex, uses she/her pronouns (occasionally trans woman too….. idk i just like a lot of variety in my temas)

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon: ptsd and aspergers, her symptoms aren’t all that obvious if you don’t know her well though. or sometimes i like to imagine her with OCPD or schizophrenia

3 random headcanons: 

1. Temari is to cooking, as the K-T extinction event was to the dinosaurs.

2. don’t be fooled, she is actually a gigantic fucking nerd, her obsessions just happen to be less obviously dorky things like sports and history

3. Is Never Wrong About Anything Ever and will fight you if you say otherwise, no matter how obviously wrong she is (her bros have learned this the hard way)

Baki:

sexual orientation headcanon: birom ace! highly sex-repulsed, but loves kisses and cuddles don’t tell anyone

gender headcanon: cisguy

mental illness / neurodivergent headcanon: ptsd man the ninja world is a horrifying place and a recovered alcoholic

3 random headcanons: 

1. he was briefly married in his twenties, but his partner died on a mission, which put him in a deep depression and left him completely disillusioned with the entire ninja system, he still served it, but he was very bitter and self-destructive about his missions afterwards

2. was very reluctant about becoming the sibs Dad, but them darn kids worked their way into his heart anyways and eventually he just had to accept it. he has no regrets

3. takes an early retirement once he’s convinced that his kids have things sorted and don’t need his help against the more hostile council members anymore. he looks after Gaara’s cacti when he’s away from Suna and eventually finds a nice civilian guy to settle down with

[swearronchanel]

Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂  here goes nothing.. 

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN ***        1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?                                                 

 2) just please, because I’m asking nicely                                                     3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?               

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something!                                             5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it  

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt  

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before? 

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age”  IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones”  I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that  they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will  be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them?  Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭