#But I can't even deny it when I can't even string a sentence together right can I!!!!!!!

[gayspock]

i wish I wasn't so pathetic and awkward 😒always ruins my night bro 😭

[everlastingspring143]

Two idiots▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

What this is: brainrot I wrote at 2AM

Pairing: Han Jisung x reader

Genre: fluff/angst? I think

Note: I really wanted to try out writing, but this kinda sucks. If you do end up reading it, constructive criticism would be highly appreciated ♡ Also, English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for all the mistakes.

The frantic ringing of your doorbell snapped you out of focus. You've been so immersed in your studies that you haven't even noticed the shift of the weather.

When you stood up to see who's at the door, the view from your window caught your eye - a huge blizzard outside. Due to global warming, the winters have become harsher.

"I'm coming!" You yelled out after hearing the doorbell buzz once again. You weren't expecting any guests today.

"Surprise" Nervous laughter escapes Jisung's mouth "You didn't expect me to be here, right? I wasn't planning on visiting you either, but unfortunately, the weather had other plans- And-" The boy spilled out streams of sentences without even cathing his breath.

You gave him a warm smile, hoping that it will help him calm down a bit and that it will hide your surprise and the lump forming at your throat. You aren't the best with words, and Jisung isn't the best with stressful or unexpected situations.

Jisung laughs nervously again. "Basically, I came to the university because I had forgotten my laptop there earlier, but when I walked outside, there was a huge blizzard! And you are the only one I know who lives around this area, so I was wondering if I could stay here until the weather settles down." It seems that he has memorised and repeated these words a number of times because he recited it so fast.

"Uhm.. Sure, come in." You move aside to let him in. Han was one of your best friends. You always did university projects together at your apartment, and afterwards you'd end up watching horror movies. Like two pieces of a puzzle, you clicked so well together, so it came as a shock to you when he just stopped talking to you. It was like you turned invisible. That was three months ago and now things seem a bit... awkward.

"Did you eat dinner already?" You inquire after the silence between you two became deafening. Your anger dissolved some time ago, all that was left was the emptiness and confusion.

"No, I haven't yet. I've been so stressed about finding my laptop that I totally forgot about eating." He pouts.

You grin. "Alright, I'll cook us some noodles then." You say as you take out a pan. "Could I be of any help?" Jisung fidgets with his hoodie strings until you nod with approvement. It seems like it's going to be an interesting experience.

"I'm sorry I came here unannounced. I completely disregarded the blizzard warning because my laptop is a priority." Han swiftly chops the chives. It seems like he's forgotten that he ignored you for three months straight, as if you were a ghost.

"It's alright, I wasn't really busy anyways."

"Ah right, what were you up to? It's so quiet here."

"Just studying. I wanted to prepare for the upcoming exam on friday."

"Friday?! Woah, you started early. No wonder you always get top marks. But don't you get lonely studying here alone?"

"I don't really mind."

Soon, your apartment was filled with the smell of noodles and the sound of Jisungs voice and laughter. Was your apartment always so bright? Or is it just Jisung? You can't deny that you've missed hanging out with him, and you feel like your throat is suddenly scratchy. Were you the one at fault? Did your friendship crumble because of you?

♡♡♡

"Thank you for the food." Your classmate smiled brightly as he finished washing the dishes, and you cleaned the kitchen table. After finishing the meal, he has been nervously glancing at his watch every few minutes. It currently showed 10pm.

"When is this blizzard going to end?" The question is directed towards himself as he scrolls through his phone. And then he looks up at you a bit worried. You turn your eyes toward the screen:

Biggest blizzard up to date!!! Experts say that it is going to last at least until morning of the next day. We advise all citizens to stay in shelter!!!

"Next morning?! What am I going to do? Taxis are also not taking requests, and busses are paused..." Jisung runs his hand through his hair, making it look messier. You used to braid them into tiny braids.

You try your best to come up with solutions, but find only one. "...You can stay over if you want." You know him well enough to know that he wouldn't do anything weird.

Jisungs eyes are wide open. You notice the way light reflects on them, shimmering like the stary skies. "Are you serious? I couldn't - I can't, I've already barged in here unannounced, I really don't want to be more of a bother! No way!" His cheeks flush in a bright red color.

"You're not a bother, I promise! But it's alright if you're not comfortable, I won't force you."

He lets out a defeated sigh. "Are you really sure you're okay with me staying here?"

"Yes, I'm very sure." You reply with a smile. Your throat feels scratchy again. You never used to be so polite with each other, but now it seems as if there's a wall between you two... Three months is a long time. But you remember that there's another problem at hand.

As a broke university student, you found the best place you could live in, near the university and for a very low price - sounds like a good deal, right? Well, not really, since it's also pretty cramped up here. There is a tiny kitchen, a bathroom which looks like it was made for dwarves and the smallest bedroom, which barely fits your bed so your wardrobe and desk take up the rest of that poor excuse of a bedroom. You usually didn't complain since it's a good deal for the price, and you're happy you even have a kitchen, but you've never had anyone sleep over, which means that you'll have to share your bed.

"Well, you can go brush your teeth, you'll find a new toothbrush in the pink cabinet. And I'll look for some oversized sweats for you." It wasn't hard to find some sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt which wasn't very oversized on Jisung.

♡♡♡

Currently, you both have changed into comfier clothes and brushed your teeth, so you are now standing in front of the single bed.

A nervous laugh escapes your mouth. "Maybe I should've invested in a more expensive apartment...". The bed was fairly small but big enough to fit both of you. However, you couldn't promise full comfort.

"Let's try to maintain a distance." Jisung also laughed nervously. You were glad that the light was off, otherwise, you wouldn't be able to hide the warmth spreading over your cheeks. Jisung has been one of your closest friends for a long while, but you've always maintained this invisible line. Sleeping in the same bed seems like crossing it. But then again, you can't really call this a friendship anymore.

These thoughts followed you into bed as Han laid down next to you. Your mind was louder than the snowstorm raging outside your window. Why did your friendship fall apart? You had this question the whole evening.

"...Hey, Jisung?" You feel a lump in your throat.

"Hm? What's up?" How can he act like nothing's wrong? You pinch yourself to keep your composure.

"I was wondering..." Your throat feels tight and you feel very warm. "What happened three months ago?" You feel your eyes getting watery as you sit up and turn torwards his side in the dark.

"Oh." Silence. "Well, I've been busy for a while, so I couldn't really hang out."

"You're a bad liar." You scoff. "Did I turn invisible? Was I suddenly non-existent to you? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me, Ji" When did you start crying? Was the room always this stuffy? Jisung seems to notice because he sits up.

"H-Hey, don't cry.." His demeanor immediately switches when he realises you're crying.

"Just answer, please." You sound a bit desperate. "I've missed you, Ji. You don't know how many nights I've traced back our conversations and analyzed all the things I've said, trying to find what was wrong. Did I offend you? Do I talk too much?" You finally took the weight off your shoulders as your tears turned into sobs.

Suddenly you are pulled into a warm comforting embrace.

"You never did anything wrong, I was just being foolish... I love you... but I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I thought if I hid my one-sided love well enough, I'd protect our friendship. Turns out I just hurt you more. I'm an idiot and I'm so sorry..." You feel him lay his head in the crook of your neck. The wet patches reveal that he's also crying.

"You're right. You are an idiot." You move away from his arms to look at him. "You're an idiot for thinking that your love is one-sided." You sniffle as your tears have stopped. Jisung tenses up and looks at you.

"So does that mean...?" He looks at you completely surprised.

"I love you too." You wrap your arms around his neck, and he returns the hug. You feel the warmth radiating off him. "So please, never ever ignore me like that again. Promise?"

"I promise."

♡♡♡

As the blizzard continued, you two had a long needed talk. And by the time that natural disaster came to an end, both of you were cuddled up like a pair of cats, sleeping soundly.

[rowan-like-the-tree]

pairing: mammon/fem!mc

tags/warnings: fluff, pining, dumbass in love (affectionate), extremely self indulgent, idk if it counts but tiny sprinkle of angst

note: this was inspired this fic by @devildomditzy, please check it out! ♡

also listen to the song! ♡

"one song about a girl, can't breathe when I'm around her."

he can't quite remember when it began. this warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest when he was with her. it made him louder, more confident, happier. he wanted to impress her, watch her face light up and her eyes glitter. it gave him him a better rush than winning at the casino, though he'd never admit that aloud.

sometimes it was different. quieter, more relaxed. they'd be sitting together in his room, watching a movie maybe. there'd be no light, other than the flickering screen. he wouldn't be paying much attention, the movie didn't really matter. he'd watch her, as much as he dared to get away with before she'd notice.

sometimes she'd curl up against him and lay her head on his shoulder, the movement making his heart race and his breath catch in his throat. once during a family movie night, there wasn't enough room on the couch for her. she had turned to him, and as casually as if she were asking him the time of day, she requested to sit on his lap.

the only thing that betrayed her poker face were her eyes, bright and sparkling with mischief. somehow he had managed a yes, despite feeling like his face was on fire. ignoring his brothers' loud protests, she simply grinned at him and made herself comfortable. it was safe to say his brothers made sure there was room for her on the couch ever since then, but she still chose to sit by him most of the time.

"i wait here everyday, in case she scratched the surface. she'll never notice..."

he had never been good with words. he wasn't intelligent and calm like lucifer, or poetic and well spoken like satan. he wasn't even good with compliments like asmo, or straightforward and honest like beel. that didn't usually bother him, he never really needed to speak about his feelings anyway. until she came along.

he so desperately wished that by some miracle, she would read his mind and figure out exactly what he needed, what he couldn't say. he was trying to find the right words, string together a coherent couple of sentences. he'd keep it short and simple, his prose wasn't exactly elegant enough to present her with a well thought out speech. that wasn't really his style anyway.

what was his style? he could save up some grimm, get her a real nice gift. but he knew that wouldn't work. she'd thank him, giving him that beautiful smile and he'd desperately back out, denying any romantic implications to the gift before she'd have a chance to say no. he knew she'd say no, deep down. why would she settle for a good for nothing scumbag when she could have any one of his brothers? hell, she even had that angel wrapped around her finger.

he ran his hand through his hair in frustration, crossing out "gift?" from his ever shrinking list of ideas.

"last night i knew what to say, but you weren't there to hear it. these lines, so well rehearsed. tongue-tied and overloaded, you never notice"

he was hoping to catch her before dinner, maybe after if he was running late. he manages neither, only because he was too indecisive to pick a gift. he wanted to pick the perfect ring for her, something he'd heard humans exchange as a sign of love. eventually he settled on a simple silver band with an engraved heart. not exactly original but he thought it would suit her nicely.

he rehearses what he'll say as he walks, making his way to her room. he knocks nervously, heart pounding against his ribs. when he's met with nothing but silence, he turns away, heading deeper into the house. now that he's finally worked up the courage to tell her the truth, he refuses to give up this quickly.

eventually he hears her laugh, coming from the library. now that he's paying attention, he notices light spilling out from under the door and the hum of voices. they're speaking too quietly for him to hear properly so he gets closer, watches through the crack of the door that was left slightly open.

she's telling them human world stories and they're all so invested, looking at her with nothing but adoration. even lucifer seems content to listen, a small smile replacing his usual, cold expression. he watches the way she grins at them as she gestures animatedly.

he should just leave them to it, he decides. maybe it was fate that he was late today, that she was already busy by the time he was finally ready. the way she smiles at him never fails to make his heart jump in his chest, but now she's smiling like that at the rest of his family. he realises that maybe that's just how she smiles at her friends, maybe he's nothing special after all. he goes to sleep early that night.

"i'm not in love"

it had been a hectic couple of weeks, with the responsibility of organising both the play and dance falling onto the student council members. he hadn't managed to be alone with her for very long since their "date" at the travelling carnival. he was hesitant to call it an actual date, but the memory alone made his heart flutter. he was all too aware that asking her to the dance was a perfect opportunity to get her alone and finally tell her what was on his mind, but the possibility of rejection had been holding him back.

there were only two days left until the big event and he was still stalling, making excuses about how she'd probably already agreed to go with one of his brothers by this point. he had all but given up on asking her, but now here they were, alone together for the first time in days. she was talking about something, probably still lucifer, but he cut her off.

"hey, aren't you forgettin' about somethin' here?" he did his best to sound natural and confident despite his racing heart. she looked up at him, confused.

"what..?" she furrowed her brow, clearly trying to figure out what he meant.

"the dance is comin' up, isn't it? ain't there somethin' you wanna ask me?" he knew this strategy hugely depended on her actually wanting to go to the dance with him, but it was the best he could think of. once she understood what he was getting at though, her face lit up with a smile that eased his doubt a little.

"right, of course." the fond way she was looking at him was almost too much, and he had to hold back the urge to back out of the situation.

"mammon, would you go to the dance with me?" she asked with a soft smile, never breaking eye contact as she waited for his response. he did his best to look composed.

"i thought you'd never ask." he hoped he didn't look too flustered.

"this is not my heart."

the play had been an enormous success, as evident by the students who were chattering excitedly as they filed out of the theatre and headed for the dance. he waited for her backstage as she changed, trying to ignore his racing heart. she didn't keep him waiting long, stepping out of the dressing room after only a few minutes. she must have noticed his anxiety because she questioned if he was alright, concern replacing her soft smile. he should have known she'd notice, she knew him all too well, but he still tried to play it cool.

"it's nothin'," he insisted, taking her hand. "you look great by the way..." he averted his eyes, feeling the warmth blooming on his cheeks. he was surprised to see her cheeks flush too, but it gave him a sudden burst of confidence.

"i'm happy ya chose to come to the dance with me, mc." he confessed. "i assumed you'd be goin' with someone else already."

"of course i'd want to go with you mammon." her smile was warm. "i had been declining invitations all week, hoping you'd ask me." his heart felt like it was going to explode with how hard it was pounding. she must have taken pity on him, seeing just how flustered her admission made him.

"c'mon." she gently tugged on his hand, beginning to walk. "i don't wanna miss the dance."

"i'm not gonna waste these words..."

he had been waiting for the opportunity to dance with her like this since the retreat at the demon lord's castle last year. now that he had her in his arms, he realised it was better than he could have ever imagined. she was warm against him, and whenever she'd lean in to say something over the music and chatter, he could feel her heart beating against his own.

eventually their dancing devolved to swaying to the music in a corner of the dance floor. her arms had somehow wound up snaked around his neck and his around her waist, bringing them much closer together. he was lost in the moment, but she brought him back from his thoughts when she looked up at him through half lidded eyes, smiling softly. the sight of her looking so content in his arms made him want to tell her how much he loved her, but he held back. he couldn't say it here, not in this room full of people.

"you look so good like this," she murmured, carding her fingers through his hair lightly. "my pretty boy." his eyes widened in surprise, breath hitching slightly. she clearly had a little too much to drink tonight, he thought.

"...about a girl"

when the crowd got overwhelming, they decided to step outside for a quick break. she was still holding his hand, refusing to release him even away from the party, where she couldn't possibly get lost in the sea of demons. as they wandered through the grounds, he decided that this was a perfect opportunity.

once they were in a more secluded area, he stopped walking, making her pause too.

"hey, can i tell ya somethin'?" he couldn't maintain eye contact, instead focusing on the ground.

"anything." she squeezed his hand gently to reassure him. out of the corner of his eye, he could see her looking up at the stars and he appreciated that she wasn't looking straight at him, likely giving him a moment to organise his thoughts.

"i wanted to ask ya to this dance because i wanted to be alone with you without any interruptions," he started nervously. "because i like you mc.. i love you, actually. so how 'bout it? tell me ya feel the same way." he urged, suddenly filled with doubt. had he read her behaviour completely wrong? what if this was a mistake?

"of course i love you too mammon," she smiled, shaking her head at him fondly. "more than anything." a wave of relief washed over him, and he laughed in pure disbelief. he couldn't believe his luck. she released his hand, moving in front of him instead.

"we can still kind of hear the music from here," she continued, wrapping her arms back around his neck. "one more dance?"

[tatargiia]

after hours: timeskip!miya atsumu x fem!reader

notes: none bc i'm 100% proud of this. he's hot ok...

warnings: nsfw, unprotected sex, strength kink(? idk i love his buff arms), slight choking, degradation, mentions of breeding :3

Dating a pro athlete had its downsides. For once, you weren't allowed to send him anything lewd during practice because it was just protocol (and because you rarely sexted). You also weren't allowed to have sex in the locker room after a bad match (this was decided after Suna Rintarou caught you with your hand down Atsumu's shorts after they had lost to Suna's team).

The list was more or less what you guys couldn't do sexually than it was romantically, but hey, you couldn't care less.

Because there was some things that made up for those pathetic rules.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Atsumu groans, shifting uncomfortably in the love seat as you purposely pressed your bottom against his aching cock. You turned and smiled innocently at him, offering your glass of champagne.

He snarls, but still snatches the glass from your hand and downs it. You're in a club right now, nothing special. But the whole MSBY Jackals team was here, and of course as Atsumu's fiancé, you were obligated to come.

The first part of the escapade was fun but nothing too special, with you mingling with the wives and calling up a few drinks here and there. Now, you were in a VIP booth with Atsumu that overviewed the rest of the club.

"Atsumu," you singsong, cooing and leaning backwards to press your naked back against his to provoke him even more. You knew exactly what you were doing, wearing the tiny and skimpy silk dress that exposed your entire lower back.

He glares you down. And then before you know it, he's snatching your wrist and dragging you down the halls of the VIP bar, earning you both whistles and jealous stares from girls and guys like.

"What are you —" before you can even finish your sentence, he throws you inside a room, pressing you against the door as he kisses you feverishly. You can hear the lock of the door clicking somewhere behind you, and you smirk.

"Shut up. Whores don't get to speak." he says as he undoes your the silk material holding your tits together. When the material falls from your chest and your tits bounce out lavishly, he moans and presses his face against them like he hasn't seen them since forever (which is a lie because he saw you in the shower this morning).

"Atsumu, baby, are you horny?" You tease, pressing your manicured nails against his nape and teasing his hot skin with your cool hands.

"Shut up." an empty but strong, tanned arm reaches for your neck, and you silence immediately. He continues his administrations on your skin, leaving pools of red and purple in his wake, a blood bath of lust trailing from your chest down to your pelvis.

It feels so good, you're not even going to deny it at this point. Atsumu is a literal sex god, his cock his big and thick, and he knows damn well what to do in bed every single time. It turns you on so much, you have to resist the urge to scratch his arms and leave marks.

His hand doesn't clench around your neck anymore, but it's still hovering faintly. But the thought of him manhandling you and taking your breath away, quite literally, sends a rush of endorphins down your spine.

"Turn around," he orders, and your weak body can't even comprehend anything as he turns your body himself against the door, pressing your tits against dark oak as you feel him slide the rest of tonight's dress down your thighs.

Even though your faced is pressed against wood, you can hear the sound of him throwing off his dress shirt and kicking the oxford shoes to the side.

"You're glistening, baby. Want me that bad?" he coos, teasing a thick, calloused finger in your folds. You squeal, trying to reach behind your back and grab his hand, but his arms won't let you, holding you in place as he stands in amusement, staring at your cunt.

"Your cunt is dripping, want me to fill you up? Make you pregnant with my cum?" you know he's just teasing you, trying to get a rise. But he's planted a seed inside your brain, and in your catatonic, extremely horny state, it makes you clench your legs together and let out a string of pathetic moans.

"Yes, yes please! Fill me up please," you beg desperately, spreading your legs to the best of your ability, making sure to show off your dripping cunt to Atsumu that was practically made for him.

"Do you love me that much?" he says, mouth fanning hot breathes over your shoulder, pressing his body against yours. You shiver under him.

Now, you're completely under his control.

"Yes, I love you so bad. Please, just fill me up!" you cry, and he listens. You haven't even been prepped, but that escapes your mind as soon as he thrusts in, his cock ripping your folds and you let out a loud moan.

"Shut up, bitch. Don't want anyone seeing you taking my cock like a slut now, do you?" you close your mouth and shake your head furiously, letting him have his way with you as he thrusts harder and harder.

You can still hear the thumping sound of the music outside, but it's starting to fade out as the lewd sounds of his cock inside you fill your ears. Sometimes, just to get him harder, you clench around him, and he bares his teeth with a loud, almost animalistic growl.

At this point, your body is reaching overstimulation and you feel like you're about to collapse. But like the good fiancé he is, Atsumu can sense that and as soon as you feel your limbs failing on you, his strong arms reach to hold you as he fucks you against the door.

"Baby, c'mon. You got this," he whispers praises in your ear, and it's embarrassing to admit, but it's enough for you to keep moaning and shaking, spreading your legs even more as he fucks you senseless.

"Atsumu, tsumu.. I'm gonna cum," you whisper out breathlessly, smirking at him faintly before you reach your end. He smiles back, hitching your limp body up and thrusting faster.

"Come with me, baby." and that's when the rubber band snaps. You cum, probably the largest you've ever, just as soon as you can feel a rush of warmth inside you, some white trickling down between your legs.

You turn around immediately, to his surprise, and kiss him senselessly, grabbing his jaw with your frail hands.

"I love you so bad," you breathe out, looking up to him like he has stars in his eyes.

"I love you too, baby." he giggles, smiling as he presses more kisses to your red lips, calloused hands trailing your naked body for the marks he made.

"Ahem." you hear a voice from the other side of the door. "Atsumu, y/n. We can hear you over the dj's music." That voice. You snort, trying to contain a hysteric fit of giggles as Atsumu says,

"Shut the hell up, Suna."

[everafterkeiji]

Song: Certain Things by James Arthur

Summary: When the setter's decision led him to a war with his heart.

Pairings: Keiji Akaashi x fem! reader

Word count: 5.3k

Genre: angst

A/N: i used to listen to this song nonstop and it just suited how sad this is so no happy endings for this one🤺

"Keiji!"

You watch as she runs up to him, engulfing him in the sweetest hug you could ever imagine. How you envy the feeling of being welcome in his arms. His eyes soften at the sight of her, as she rambled on how amazing he was. He gives her his heart fluttering smile as he lets his palm set on her shoulder, kindly thanking her for watching and supporting him throughout the entire game.

Did your shouts of love become silent to him?

She grabs his towel, patting it lightly on his forehead as he blushes finding the gesture extremely embarassing for the girl he longs for to just wipe away his sweat. He tries to stop her but she insisted, even grabbing her water bottle and giving it to him, asking him to drink some water and rest.

"Hey hey hey- look at me please."

Bokuto says, coming from behind you. You turn to him with water baring eyes, a heartache eating you up with every second you continue to watch. Bokuto sighs as he pulls you in his arms, his chin resting on your crown, as he caresses your hair as you let out an agonizing sob. Bokuto sees the way Akaashi didn't bother to spare them a glance, as Akaashis overall being was captivated by the girl that was beside him. He coes her, whispering how he's got her and he'll never have the courage to let her go, the way the dark haired boy did.

"We won today yeah? Why don't we celebrate?" Bokuto tries to tone his voice in his usual cheery self but feels defeated when he sees her. Y/N looks up at him, he tenses up as he holds your head, an instinct that you were going to look again. You were mid way into letting your eyes land on them but Bokuto stopped you as he held your face in his palm, looking at you with an expression you were well familiar with.

"Y/N."

" 'Taro, shit I'm sorry!" You shouted before wiping away your eyes as his heart winces seeing his friend poorly attempt to regain the sunshine that she once was. Puffed cheeks, swollen eyes, red tinted nose, what a cruel sight yet she dared to cover all of these with a smile. It was disgusting how she made it look so believable, fooling almost everyone that witnessed her little facade. Bokuto falling for it countless of times but has learned to tell the difference every now and then, fitting in for the spot of her once best friend who knew exactly what she was truly feeling.

Akaashi would've read her like a novel he loved but it seems like it wasn't as timeless anymore.

It was now up to Bokuto to handle the shattered girl, even when her own broken heart pierced through her like a knife everyday.

"I-I know a good place to eat at! Maybe then I can treat you for being my favorite ace?" She offers with a sickening chuckle. She was achingly trying. He only gives her a smile, accepting her efforts of hiding how empty she felt. He lets his arm fall on her shoulders, comforting her with everything he can do.

"Oh! I'd like that, kind of like a double date huh? Seems like I get to treat my favorite setter too!" Akemi states, eyes darting towards Akaashi as he becomes flustered with her words. Bokutos eyebrow furrows, and with a pout he tries to insist that you didn't want her to accompany them, but you let your arm come before him as he questions your decisions.

"Sure! The more the merrier right, Ko?" Akemi claps her hand as she gathers her things, Akaashi doing the same. Bokuto takes notice of your longing gaze as he pulls you with him.

"So is that right? I'm your favorite?" Bokuto teases, as you laugh punching him lightly on his shoulder. He chuckles but was taken by surprise as you wrap your arms around his neck, standing on your tip toes to reach him. He immediately wraps his arms around your waist as you pat his hair, nuzzling your face in his neck as you smile, feeling gratitude for an amazing friend like him.

"You were fantastic earlier, I'm sorry for being so-" Bokuto cuts you off with a shout of triumph, making you confused as he pulls away. He wouldn't let her continue her sentence, knowing he couldn't stand hearing her blame herself for something she couldn't handle.

"Ah! What a starter! Thanks Y/N! No wonder I'm the best huh?" He shouts closing his eyes, putting his hands on his hips smiling to himself. You laugh, enjoying how it fed his confidence. Akaashi turns to the two of you watching how Bokuto oddly portray his muscles as you laugh loudly. Akemi smiles beside him, finding the duo quite suited for each other

"They should date! Bokuto makes her so happy!" She claims, as Akaashi blinks, shaking his head turning to meet her green eyes.

"She hates guy who shows off their muscles like that. She think's its a bit cocky." Akemi laughs at Akaashi, since what he said sounded like a known fact.

"Maybe everything can change when she's with him."

She states, making his eyes widen. Impossible. She can't just switch her words just because of Bokuto. He says to himself. Once he hears how genuine your laugh was and realizes that the ace was the cause of it, he stiffens at the thought of the you and the captain together. Akaashi was the one to introduce you to him so it was a surprise you two would come together like that, especially when he felt how Bokuto adjusted to you quite quickly.

"Ooh Y/N likes that color! Will you get it for her, Akaashi?!" Bokuto asks, pointing excitedly at a plush toy. Akaashis blue eyes turned to the location where the finger was pointed and he smiles seeing an immensely cute plush toy he knew you would love but this glee ends when he realizes that Bokuto managed to remember your favorite color.

"Bokuto-san, I'm impressed you knew what she liked." He said with an amused smile. The other boys eyes glimmered in the moonlight, remembering your past conversations with him.

"It's easy! Y/N always talk about many things and it's so freaking awesome. You've known her for the longest time right 'Kaashi? She's so cool." His words bring a smile to the setters lips, loving how Bokuto got along with you so well.

"Oh wait! Akaashi!"

"Yes, Bokuto-san?"

"Well! You've been with her since you were young right? So that means.. you like her!"

Akaashi coughs on his water looking at Bokuto. Bokutos cackle echoed through the air and his words consuming Akaashi's thoughts.

"I do like her but not romantically ok?" He defends, but Bokuto let's out a displeased scoff skipping ahead of the flustered setter. Happily moving knowing he's got him on a hot seat.

"That can change Akaashi!"

And it did.

For Y/N to watch Akemi casually serve Akaashi his food, it was like being tortured in a chamber or watching it to make your brain rot. They look perfect, she thinks. Bokuto was eating happily beside him, and setting aside how hurt she was, she chose to ignore the throbbing of her heart. Akaashi was in front of her as Akemi was in front of Bokuto. The two were in well conversation as Bokuto tried to gather your attention while he brings up how excited he was for a new move.

Dropping your chopsticks, you curse as you got out of your chair to bend down and reach it. Grabbing it in your hands as you look up to see a hand covering the sharp corner of the table. Your eyes follow it and realizing it was Akaashis hand, protecting you if you were to hit your head. This minimal effort was enough to set your soul on fire, admiring how he was able to act so quickly and composed. You return to your seat, Akaashi watching you steadily to make sure you were back. You give him a nod, thanking him for being observant as he smiles to you instead.

Just maybe.

You feel the rising heat on your cheeks as you sip water, hoping it were to ease your frantic heart. You observe Akemi, and painfully suck in the harsh truth that you couldn't deny. Everything that Akaashi has told you about his dream girl, the list of expectations he's had, it was all her. The embodiment of what Akaashi wants to hold, to love and to keep. You hear how her laughter sounded like gentle music, even her personality radiated nothing but sunshine.

All you can do was sigh, when a dream like her already has captured the heart of the young boy you grew to love.

She drops her phone, somewhat mirroring your actions beforehand. Akaashi turns to her immediately, as your heart took another strike seeing him mimic the same actions he had with you. Hand covering the edge, with a gentle hand on her back as she picks up the device leaving you stranded in strings of pain. She smiles at him, casually resting her hand on his as a thank you. Akaashi immediately blushes before placing his other hand on top, eyes lovingly holding onto hers.

The string of hope that you held on for dear life, immediately broke as you let the cup of water fall from your hands, taking an excruciating hit as you were brought back to the silent beating of your heart.

I'm certain that I'm yours.

Or at least I thought.

Bokuto calls your name multiple times as he frantically wipes the spillage of the water that was on the table and on your attire. You felt towels pat your lap gently as Bokuto still continued to put effort in grabbing your attention. Akemi looks at you concerned, worried for whatever thought that you had in mind was enough for you to completely lose your grip on reality.

"Y/N, hey!"

"I didn't think I'd be able to stay with you this long, Y/N." He says with a smile as you walk with him. It was early in the morning, both on your way to school. Coffee in both hands as you give him a pout, finding his statement in a different tone.

"You make it sound like you're unfortunate." You joke as Akaashi laughs beside you, sipping coffee before letting out a satisfied sigh.

"You've been with me even before I got in Fukurodani. I'm just really happy I've found somebody to turn to." You smile as your fingers brush against each other in which at the contact made you both blush. All the tension that was held in the moment was a bunch of unheard confessions, both unwilling to let them speak.

"I'm lucky I have you too, Kei."

"Seems like someone isn't technically happy of sharing the spotlight with me." Akaashi teases pointing at a very sleepy Bokuto who was walking up to you two.You giggle at the setter, while his blue eyes stayed on your smiling lips, relieved that it didn't fail to make him smile as well.

"Y/N."

A stern voice makes your gloomy eyes trail over to a pair of blue ones you were addicted to.

"Y/N? What's wrong with you? You made a mess." He says, completely knocking you off your limit. You stood up, hands on the table with your head down as Bokuto grunts knowing exactly what was bound to happen.

"I'm sorry Akaashi."

"That was reckless. You could've spilled it all over us, even Akemi-"

Bokuto winces when the name slips off of Akaashis lips as you hastily grab your wallet placing the money to Bokuto and mumbling a sorry before rushing to leave, tears falling from your tired eyes once you were out of the restaurant. Bokuto observes the way Akaashis eyes remained enlarged when it hit him how harsh he was. The captain wished that this worry of Akaashi would last long, since this was his first time seeing the setter show any concern for the poor girl in such a long time.

"Bokuto, will she be alright?" Akemi asks him, as he lets out a shrug of defeat. Akaashi bit his lip feeling the responsibility of his actions weigh on both him and the ace. He knew that Bokuto would never be able to comfort her the way he does, and reading her expressions when she left, reassuring her wouldn't be as easy.

Because he was the reason why she was hurting, not even realizing the damage has been done too many times already.

Your feet felt like weights as you ran, feeling the burn of guilt pass through you. On your way to pick up some snacks and refreshments for their match, a certain sight caught your eye leading you to your current decision.

"Yes thank you!" You say with a smile before, leaving the store with the things you bought. You rub your eyes, hating how early you had to catch a bus for their match. This was your only chance to watch them again since you avoided Akaashi for days, making Bokuto your company. You apologized dozens of times to Bokuto for leaving him in an awkward situation. Of course he forgave you, deciding to treat you to a movie instead to erase your worry.

Suddenly a familiar voice spikes up your interest, your head turning left and right to find Akemi. Instead, a tall man walks pass you carrying a bag that you've seen multiple times. You shrug, not wanting to lead to conclusions knowing how Akemi was genuine with her admiration for Akaashi.

"Haru-san!"

Akemi greets, arms wrapped around the waist of the man. You turn to see the two hugging and you gripped the plastic bag in your hands, as Haru places a gentle kiss on her forehead making you stunned even more.

"So where we going later?" He asks, as you lower your head, trying to control your breathing. This is impossible. How could she just lead him on like that! You despised how you weren't able to save Akaashi from the beginning, and now it was your turn to drop a heavy bomb on your best friend.

"We'll meet up later okay? I'll just attend my friend's match."

Friends.

You immediately walked away, weakened at what she just said. No matter shape or form, Akaashi would be hurt, completely. It hurt you that you'd have to see the painful expression on Akaashis face. You bit your lip, trying to avoid the look of dismay on your best friend. You let out a sad sigh as you began to pick up the pace in your walk.

Is it his turn to feel hopeless?

You've tried your best to avoid him. The tension being unresolved between the two of you yet you were happy Akaashi understood why you've created distance between you and him.

Knowing the two were inseparable, you were the one to adjust whenever Bokuto would be heading to practice or even going to lunch. Although, Akaashi gave you some space knowing his outburst completely set a different side to your friendship. You two have never really fought in such a way, he knew even if it was a small fight there was a distinct aura that surrounded the two of you. Beyond what happened, he knew you were facing some other problem that he was clueless of and him adding to your issues wasn't helping the both of you.

So whenever the dark haired boy saw you bid goodbye to Bokuto whenever he was on his way to approach the captain, it stung in his heart.

Akaashi sighs beside Bokuto. Koutaro was prepping himself up completely, pressing his palms to his cheeks. They were up to play soon and the blue eyed boy wonders if she would be able to make it back in time. While he wonders about you, his mind swerves to Akemi. He finds himself foolishly smiling at the thought of them holding hands at the restaurant so he looks at his phone, finding her contact and glancing at their photo.

Next to her contact was yours, which he was hesitant to tap on. He shuts off his phone before seeing Bokuto wave frantically with a smile on his face. Akaashi looks at you, eyes shining knowing you made it just in time to bid him goodluck and hopefully to clear up the quarrel. You felt your heart leap with every step, a war in your head in how you were going to tell him. Your hands tightened as you walk over to them, Bokuto patting your head showing how delighted he was that you were there. Akaashi wonders if you could even spare him a glance.

" 'Taro! I have your snacks but- promise me you'll be the best out there and maybe I'll treat you later!" You say as Bokuto punches the air, his mind in a frenzy at the scenario in his head of eating his favorite food.

You turn to Akaashi, shakily grabbing his arm as he stiffens at your sudden contact. He looks at your weary eyes as you desperately tried to calm down.

"Keiji, can we talk?" Why did you say it like that? He asks himself. His name has never sounded so troublesome before. He fidgets with his fingers as he trails behind you as you lead him to a more private place. You felt the shivers reach your body, immediately bringing coldness at how anxious you were. This was the first time in days where you two would be able to converse properly again.

As you make your way to a corner, Akaashis feet was tapping furiously, scared of what you were going to say. He waits for you to speak as he watches you take a deep breath as you hold his arm once again. Softer than before but it felt like a desperate touch.

"Kei- you do trust me right?" Akaashi nods immediately, lips frowning at the tone of her voice. Is she going to leave me? Please say no. He wanted to get this over with so he wonders if you were just going to rip off the bandaid and end the friendship even if he was willing to apologize multiple times. But then, how could you end it just because he was right about being reckless?

"Akemi- she has a boyfriend, Keiji-"

"You came.. to tell me this?"

"Akaashi- I-I know you like her but"

"God Y/N how could you.." Akaashi exclaims as you aggresively run your fingers through your hair, before grabbing his jacket trying to make him stay. He stands there in shock, as rage and envy flow through him overwhelming him in the process. His hands form a ball as it tightens quickly at the thought of how Akemi was just being nice all the time.

Akaashi looks at you only to find truth in your eyes but his heart betrays the both of you, now broken and in denial that the girl he adored was dating somebody that wasn't him.

"Akaashi, please listen to me! I don't want you to get hurt..believe me!" You pleaded, throwing away how hurt you were from the drastic change in his tone.

"Hurt? So you think you're being considerate then?" Akaashi questions her with spite in his tone. His demeanor towering over her as she crumbles at his voice. Akaashis heart coming back to the reason why it was guarded in the first place.

"Keiji.. you know that's not what I mean!" You defended yourself as Akaashi scoffs. It was mocking you how composed he looked yet the tone of his voice was laced with pure hatred. Deep down, Akaashi accepted the fact that he could never really win Akemi but he was blinded by the pain that you brought him.

"You're just jealous, Y/N. Stop lying." He continued, making you shake your head as you tried to grasp his jacket again but this time your hands barely touched the fabric making your heart gasp at how Akaashi was out of your grip.

"I didn't know you could pull off being a liar, and I don't see myself being a friend with a trait like yours."

The tears flowed down your cheeks as you let out a shakey breath, in disbelief at what he just said. I'm not lying, Akaashi. You promised me you trusted me.

"You said you t-trusted me, Akaashi! How could that change for you!" You shouted as he was brought back to Akemis words.

"Maybe everything can change."

"You promise I'll be okay?"

"I've got no reason to doubt you." He says smiling as you lean your head on his shoulder, tracing random lines and doodling away on his soft skin. Under the beautiful tree, with purple painted skies with clouds up above. After a stressful day on your side, the setter took notice of how you've let yourself fall onto your insecurities once again so he took it upon himself and brought you to a silent place to show you how you shouldn't worry about anything, comforting you with his kind words and him trusting you that would be able to regain your old self again.

"Certain things hurt and you're my only virtue." You confess as his heart spikes up its speed with your response. You sat up, gazing at the houses who seemed too tiny from your distance. You held your knees to your chest with lips formed in a relaxed state as you lean on your arm that was on top of your knee.

And I'm virtually yours.

Akaashi remained with his back on the grass as he admired your features wondering how you could ever put yourself down, when you took away his words whenever you were with him, hiding it perfectly and keeping his admiration far from you to avoid the continous breaking of his heart knowing he'd betray your beloved friendship.

I adore you, he thinks to himself as the only thing that reflected in his eyes were the girl he's lost to his wrong decision.

"You changed and it's disappointing. All because of jealousy? I've been with you for so long, how did you become selfish?"

Selfish. I must've been crazy then, you think. You let out a bitter chuckle, Akaashi frightened at this side of you you've yet to show him before. It was like poison consuming your body, in which the poison came in the form of his words.

"All I've ever been is selfless, god I even let you fall for someone else when I've been in love with you for years."

You took a step back as Akaashi stood where he was, feeling as if his feet couldn't leave the floor as he lets himself drown in your confession. He gulps as he was struck with regret since he had no idea how to respond to you. His eyes trail to the floor as he struggles to find the words.

Then the battle began, between in what he knows whose right for you and his heart who wanted no one else but you.

He was miserable. A side of him wanted to say how much he's waited for you to bid those words to him and claim that he's felt the same as you, but the other side wanted to badly decline knowing he was stuck in choosing you and Akemi. Akemi who has effortlessly tugged on his heart strings and gained it with her gentleness and beautiful personality, and you who's promised to stay forever and loved him longer than anyone else has.

Don't make me choose on who I love more.

He knew the time would come where his decisions would bare another heavy mark on him. He's already made a terrible one by putting his heart in the hands of Akemis instead of yours. He wishes there wasn't a deadline to this difficult decision, but to him it seemed like if he doesn't choose now, he'd feel the pain everyday.

"AKAASHI! LET'S GO!" Bokuto screams as Akaashi turns his eyes to you in a swift move, finding your eyes covered in tears but how come you looked like you felt nothing? You sniffle as you give him a warm smile, a reaction he didn't want to see knowing it wasn't a smile that could bring him joy.

"Goodluck, Akaashi."

He takes a step forward trying to capture you in his arms but Bokuto grabs him by the arm pulling him away from you, Bokuto saying goodbye to you as well and reminding you the promise you gave him. That moment, all that Akaashi wanted to was run and replace the silence he gave you. You deserved to hear what he truly felt, but his words were trapped as he still had to examine if he was choosing the right ones.

But he ran out of time.

-

The game starts and he prays for his performance to be at his usual best. Once Bokuto had the setter to himself, Akaashi couldn't hold back and told him what happened. Bokuto felt horrible for both of you, while feeling revengeful to Akemi since he too fell for her sweet gestures to Akaashi thinking that she actually liked him. Importantly, Bokuto badly wanted to be there for you. He knew how much you liked him so for you to confess so suddenly during your argument, it had the grey haired boy worried about you.

He couldn't blame Akaashi, as much as he wanted to. He acted in a way because he was suffering, but they didn't realize they both were. Though, he wished Akaashi could've treated her better, believed her. Bokuto believed her the minute Akaashi told him, and it was because he trusted her completely and she wouldn't speak out without a reason meanwhile Akaashi chose to hold onto denial.

And as they play, Akaashi looks over to the stands, searching for you when he came upon Akemis. The pretty girl with an arm wrapped around her shoulder as Akaashi loses the ball in his hands from the view.

"Akaashi, please listen to me! I don't want you to get hurt..believe me!"

"You said you t-trusted me, Akaashi! How could that change for you!"

Like the ball falling to the floor, his heart went along with it.

Scream. That's what he wanted to do. How absurd of him to get it wrong twice, there shouldn't even be any room for mistakes. I can't believe I lost her..again. Akaashi thinks. There was a painful ache in his heart, yet he couldn't set it free not wanting to let down the team. Especially in a match like this. He wanted to break, to land on the ground and let his consciousness scold him for hours. He deserved it. He should've learned but he was trapped inside a world where he thought Akemi would've been his everything, when he was blind to how powerful his love for you all this time.

Come back to me.

"Akaashi!" Bokutos hand reach his shoulder and all he could do was stare at a pair of blank eyes. Before the ace could ask what happened, Akaashi was clutching on to Bokutos jersey harshly taking the older boy by surprise.

"She was right." Akaashi utters as he points to the crowd making Bokuto squint just to find where Akemi was. Once he finds them, he sighs sadly before trying to come up with a response to cheer the boy up. It was obvious that Akaashi was too affected to perform properly. Lip quivering as if his world was destroyed twice.

"Doesn't that mean the only thing you can come back to is Y/N?"

Akaashi looks up to him, confused. Bokuto patted the boys shoulder with a soft smile.

"Look over there." This time, it was Bokutos turn to point to the other side of the stands to see you glancing over them. Akaashis eyes glimmered at the sight of you, like life was brought to him in an instant. Happiness couldn't be the only word to describe his emotions.

You were watching.

And he was going to win. Just for you.

This brings him a massive wave of energy, not digging into his thoughts. You smile wiping your heavy eyes seeing him back to his usual self. In his heart he was happy but a mistake shouldn't be rewarded by a smile.

Sticking to his promise, they won but an unfamiliar feeling sets in his skin making him stop in his tracks making Bokuto look behind him to see Akaashi with his hand on top of his chest and eyes straight to the floor. Bokuto grips the phone in his hand, biting his lip and looking down, his heart aching as well.

"Bokuto-san, where is she?" His voice cracks, a tear finally escaping his eyes. He lets out a soft sniffle looking everywhere for a trace of you. Bokuto just shakes his head as a response and Akaashis eyes widen as he harshly wipes away his tears with the sleeve of his jacket. Written in his lips and eyes, Akaashi was exhausted. At first, he thought that letting go of his emotions would be the answer but now he was letting them free yet he didn't wanna scream anymore. He already felt his throat dry at the realization.

"Doesn't that mean the only thing you can come back to is Y/N?"

You sank in your seat, numb to how wet your cheeks were from the continous flow of your tears. Your chest was heaving up and down but your eyes were already closed with tight lips pressed into a line. There were certain things you wish you could've done, but staying wasn't an option when you've gone through multiple battles already. This was the last straw.

Even if you did wanted to fight for him, would he do the same?

You let out a sigh as you open your eyes seeing the road and reminiscing on your last walk with Akaashi.

"What's her name again?" You ask, kicking a rock to the side before shoving your hands inside the pocket of your blazer. Akaashi smiles out of bliss at the thought of her smile and once you've got a glimpse of his expression, you question the drop in your heartbeat as you see him blush before fidgeting with his fingers.

"Akemi." He says, his heart beating loudly. Saying her name already brought the setter in touch with his emotions. It was unlikely for him to feel his heart flutter, but being around Akemi brought him to smile whenever she was there, get anxious to respond to her, and get a flush on his cheeks at the thought of her moments with him.

The name rings in your ears as you were greeted by the silencing beat of your heart. You watch as he turns to you since you've trailed behind him. You visualize how you've seen him with Akemi during lunch and that's when you knew.

It's never going to be me, is it?

"Let's go, Bokuto-san." Bokuto bit his lip, waiting for you to go to them and proving him it was all a prank.

"Akaashi-"

"She left already and I-" His voice breaks making Bokuto gaze at him in pain.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make her stay, Akaashi." Bokuto whispers. Akaashi drags his sleeve to his eyes again, hating how his eyes grew heavy with the tears that escaped his sorrowful blue ones. With a tragic wound embedded in his heart, he spoke.

"I couldn't either."