#By which I mean I am not rereading jack shit and correcting my mistakes because this shit long enough

[pileoftrashsstuff]

Fic because I felt like it, mainly dialogue tho

"Pile what are you doing?" "Doodling."

James curiously peeks at the sketchbook in their hands. "Designs?" He wonders aloud. Seeing messy sketches and little phrases filled with little concepts.

The colorless humanoid nods. "Yeah been doodling a lot lately and hopefully it pays off, ya know?" They pick up the eraser next to them and erasing a little mistake. "I wanna make a little world through art. And hopefully, I'm satisfied with the designs I have created."

James huffs, he twirls the end of his black curly locks between his fingers. "Speaking of designs, how come you haven't drawn anyone other than me?" He smirks. "Am I your favorite?"

"Well you are an easy design choice. " Pile says, chuckling at the offended gasp their design gave them.

"Easy? Well I'm taking offence to that good sir!" He crosses his arms with a huff.

Pile continues drawing, flipping across pages to compare and contrast designs. Numerous pencils (that are most likely stolen) and inking pens (that are stolen) littered the area next to them. An empty pencil case sits next to Pile.

"Can you summon an engine?" James asks, getting bored with the sounds of paper and clicking pens.

"James you know how hard they are to summon right?" Pile huffs as they start another sketch. Messy linings and vague ideas slowly coming out as the pencil moves.

James rolls his eyes. "No not that, I meant the small ones. I want little James Junior."

Pile takes out a different pencil, this one having little gold markings and seems to be made of silver. They draw a little lively shape, the lead seems to be a glowing white.

"Two beady little eyes, a cute little nose, a lovely red livery, and a big personality. There we go." The drawing glows brighter as a little red being floats from the light. It grows to the size of a cylindrical pillow and drops itself on James' lap.

"Hiya there, little bud!" James affectionately pets it, laughing lightly at the little squeaks he gives him. "Been so long since you have used the other sausage engines. How come?"

Pile sighs, putting away the pencil and organising the mess a little. "Well, it would be a hassle having to deal with multiple sausage engines. They look like they can't move but trust me when I say that you will find them in the most unlikely of places."

"Eep!" The sausage engine squeaks as his cheeks are squished. James silently mulls over his thoughts. "You know... This is weird."

"Well what is weird?" Pile asks. A little note written above the sketch and a close up of a design not far from it is messily assembled.

"We are not in any setting, Pile."

Pile looks up and sees nothing but white. Stretching endlessly throughout. "Huh..."Pile shrugs. "Seems like it."

"Why are you so nonchalant over this?" James asks, calm for someone asking such a question. Little James squeaks as his nose is lightly flicked.

"Well, you are a humanized design of a red engine from the classic series and you are currently petting what we like to call a sausage engine as well as talking to a colorless humanoid figure like me who has the ability to summon beings from a sketchbook." Pile breathes heavily after the long tangent.

"Seems like it." James scratches the sausage engines underside, feeling him relax into his lap. "Is this the work of an artist or an author?"

"It depends really." Pile flips to another page. "An artist can draw their design on anything they want, a blank canvas or a drawn room."

James looks back at the sketchbook. Drawings of moving figures and various arrows littered the page. "And an author?"

Pile shrugs. "I'm not an author, bud. I'm merely an amateur artist so take what I say or said with grains of salt." A different pencil is chosen, this one having a stubbier lead for thicker lines.

"It depends on what the author is writing, fanfiction or their own world. They can give you vague ideas or let you explore the world through their own concept art. Some would describe the room to you in detail or the setting they chose is already familiar to you."

James just realized something. "Wait so are we both vaguely clothed or naked?"

"Well it's up to who ever is reading this I guess." Pile shrugs. "We don't even have genitals nor clothes when we were first introduced. Hell, my design does not have a mouth yet I'm still talking aren't I?"

"Huh, never knew that writing can kick your imagination into an overdrive." James faces them. "How was your first experience to writing your own world?"

Pile feels a shiver down their spine as they remember their early days of writing. "It was interesting when I started writing stories of my own. Having to struggle with a lot of dialogue and info-dumping on occasion. Grammar can be your worse nightmare if your don't thread carefully. Especially since I wrote everything down through paper and pencil so one drop of liquid could ruin hours upon hours of work."

"But you enjoyed it very much?" James huffs as his companion wriggles off of his lap. He moves to Pile's lap, wriggling until he relaxes into a comfortable position.

Pile pets the little thing on their lap. "Yep, the countless other little fanfictions and stories say that much. Can't believe I dedicated actual time to the little worlds but it proves to be an exciting adventure when I feel like returning."

Pile looks at the endless white. "You know... I am actually glad that I used to write so much. It helped me revisit countless worlds and works that other people made, from which I have drawn so many inspired ideas from." They look at James.

"And you are now part of those endless worlds. As a humanized engine that is."

James puffs his chest out. "Of course I am! Aren't I very memorable? Practically the first problematic fave everyone seems to have."

"I should bring the others back but I'll save it for a different time." Pile gives the wriggling sausage engine back to James.

"How many did you write?" He adjusted his hold on the little thing, chuckling at the indignant squeaks.

"A lot but we can trudge down the lane when we want to."

"When you want to." James laughs as Pile lightly shoves him.

"Oh shut it you. I want to go home and work on the new designs now."

"Well..." James pats their back. "See you then."

"Alright."

[breitzbachbea]

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like), 6. What character do you have the most fun writing? 10. How would you describe your writing process? 16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?) -> I'm beging nosy and asking FOUR questions 👀😂

Oh Amber, PLEASE be nosy. I love answering questions about my writing or characters, even though I take 5000 years to answer.

Fun meta asks for writers

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Okay, I thought about this for a while and I think I have a few more I could also share (and I'd probably have a sizeable amount of scenes or sentences if I reread ALL I wrote). But this scene was the thing that came to mind first and stuck the most.

From Italian Affairs, Chapter 9 "Drained Chances", Scene 3:

“I know I have to make up for what a jerk I’ve been”, he said. “But I still wish I could just forget.” He looked back into the room and spotted the wine bottle on a sideboard. “Charlie, you’ve got to face this”, Harry said and Michele sighed: “Okay we’ve got to think sober about this situation. Well, you do, Charlie.” “Damn right”, he muttered before walking over to the sideboard, almost falling over when he came to a hold with his hands on its upper side: "I have to correct my mistakes tomorrow!" “That’s the spirit!”, Harry said and Michele smiled. “You most certainly have the right ideas even now, Charlie.” “I have fucked up but I am a grown man and like that I will take responsibility for my actions!” He had grabbed the bottle even before the other two could yell “No!” and they only watched in horror as he emptied it. Charlie held down a burp, put the bottle back on the table and smile confident: "I have to talk to him again and explain myself." “And there it goes down the drain, the last piece of his common sense”, Harry hissed. “Thanks for lending me your ear, guys”, Charlie said and took a wobbly step away from the sideboard. “I am going back to my room now, enjoy your night.” He walked towards the door: “Or maybe I could try to talk to Marco again – no, that’s a stupid idea.” “You just drank half a bottle of wine in one go, mate, you are not going anywhere”, Harry said and Michele sighed but Charlie waved his hand while he staggered towards the door. “Don’t let me cockblock you, Happy fucking.” And with that he tripped and fell to his knees. He frowned at the floor while Michele got up to help him. “You know, Michele”, Charlie said while the Sicilian pulled him on his legs. “On second thought it might have been six beer.”

'Don't let me cockblock you, happy fucking', followed immediately by Charlie tripping and nearly falling on his face is deadass THE funniest thing I have ever written. I love how hilarious the entire situation is, solely because Charlie is an impulsive son of a bitch who keeps making bad decisions. Whenever he seems on track, he just cannot shut his mouth, he just cannot control a whim for a moment too long and it bites him in the ass the very next second. I love him so much. Furthermore, the scene itself is a perfect blend of wit and slapstick. I've outdone myself here.

Also, fuck you, ao3 says I have 382 170 words uploaded right now and that is still far from all I've ever written. So you're getting another scene.

From Smudged Makeup & Cleaning Up:

“I hate myself,” she said in French. “I hate myself and I hate him, I hate both of them so much,” she sobbed as her breath hitched and tears began to run down her face again. “Don’t cry again, shhht, don’t do that,” Hugo whispered and began to rock from side to side. “It’s okay, it’s nothing to cry about.” “I wouldn’t have to see it if I had just opened my stupid mouth and had told him how I felt, if I had just told him these stupid three words I now wouldn’t have to see this.” Her voice was something between a whisper and a hiss.

There are at least two more little paragraphs I could have shared from that one-shot, so I decided to go with the most emotional part. I reread it last night and I still think it is a pretty damn good piece of writing. It's funny, interesting and it shows all of the characters (Timothea, Hugo, Arielle) and their relationships to one another marvellously. I'd sincerely reccommend it to everyone, although the (not as good for sure) A French Trio Of Bad Decisions may be required reading to understand who Arielle is talking about in the above excerpt. (Amber, since you already read that one though, you can just go and enjoy Smudged Makeup & Cleaning Up as your first taste of Thea before you delve into The Amulet for more <3)

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

That's a good question! I was going to go through Irish Problems and Italian Affairs again, tallying up who has how many POV Scenes, but gave up rather quickly; it's just very hard to determine with all the headhopping that happens in the beginning. Last time I checked it was Harry. The following list is by no means exhaustive and talks mainly about the characters as POV characters. I very much enjoy writing all of my children, whether they're the POV character or not in any given scene.

Charlie is definitely one of them, I feel very at home in his head and he's so much fun to write. His catastrophizing, his intense but jumpy emotions, his impulsivity and kindness, his dialogue and thoughts ... He is so much fun. I'd have to lie to say this gay adhd mess doesn't hold a special place in my heart.

Francesco is another good one, solely because I love being in his head. It's a nightmare in there at times, but that's what makes it fun. Let the sadism fight the catholic guilt, the lust for pleasure at all cost the need for kindness. He's a very vibrant character with an undeniable presence in each scene he is in and it's always fun to write interesting characters.

Lovino's also always a blast. His ranting, his annoyance, his fidgeting (oh, god, if someone asks me for a favourite scene again, I am sharing the one where he shuffled around too much during a car ride and ended up folded like a lawn chair in the footwell). The tumultous inside of his head, his doubts, his fears. I have nothing but love for him and I already miss him, despite not technically having finished Italian Affairs. The rewrite is still ahead of me and I am going to savour every single moment I get to write my favourite South Italian.

Last but not least a shoutout to Hugo. I think he is very interesting as well, with the masks he wears and the intensity that lies beneath them. He's both a sweet young man AND a fuckboy AND a little bitch. The only problem with Hugo is that I'm never 100% sure in his characterisation and have to consult Jonah, his creator, in those cases.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Messy as shit for being this organized - or Surprisingly organized for being messy as shit. I've developed this process over the past eight years and I'll probably keep tweaking screws as time goes on.

This is my process for my big, multi-chapter, novellength main series entries. Anything else usually gets done in a similiar fashion, just with some of the steps lacking. (I didn't vomitdraft for rarepairweek, for example, nor did I do the proofreading on paper because deadline.)

1. I make an outline. I used to call this "Scene Plan", because it is just that - a list of each scene, with a very short description that makes no sense to anyone but me. Seriously, YOU tell me what is going on here:

2. I collect all snippets that come to mind for a series in a document; if I already have an outline, I copy whatever scene they would belong to as a header. Those things happen all the time, it isn't a conscious effort.

3. I take those snippets, paste them into Quollwriter and then vomitdraft for a few days. Each day around 500 words, as fast as possible. Whatever comes to mind goes onto the page, rarely backtracking. It's not about it being presentable, it's about having something written that serves as skeleton for the scene. I research jack shit at this point and directly type (Look this shit up) into the text.

4. Once a scene/chapter is done, I copy it into word and read through it to take notes in a little notebook. I write down what to research, what I like in the draft, what I dislike and what I still ponder. I try to draw the first connections to give the chapter a coherent feeling. (Chapters for the main series consist of three scenes, so I take notes for a scene and edit it before I repeat the process for the next - I don't take comments for three scenes in a row.)

5. I begin to edit the scene with a goal of 200 words a day. I usually exceed it; during a very bad day I fall a little short of it. I try to write every day or every two days, unless something else requires my focus more (like a term paper). Oftentimes I start a writing session with tweaking what I did the day before, before I continue. I usually also do the research as it is called for at this stage - The Amulet was the only time I did research before I even begun to write. My usual timer is 30 Minutes, but I tend to write for a little longer if I am in the flow. Or I sit there for 4 hours to finish a scene because I am THAT much in the flow and I want the GODFORSAKEN THING DONE.

6. Once I finished editing the chapter or one-shot, I print it out and go through it with a red gel pen. I correct typos, formatting errors or formatting choices I don't agree with. I rewrite sentences that I think read clumsily and cross out words that repeat too much. I sometimes add things to moments that are lacking or I cross out sentences that now feel unnecessary. Once finished, I apply the corrections to my document.

7. If I have a beta-reader (like the lovely @swabianmapley for Herz Auf Beat), this is the point at which I send them the document and wait for their feedback & corrections.

8. I post the thing onto the black void that is The Internet, lie to myself that I don't care about feedback & yet still keep checking ao3 for new hits/kudos/bookmarks/comments and begin the same process for my next project a few days later.

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

Hmm. I don't know if it counts, but in the coffee one-shots for rarepairweek I tried to make peace with the 'holes' I left. To not explain everything, but let the reader draw their own conclusion. Aside from that ... Been trying to put more emotion into my writing. I felt so unsatisfied with the big Charco kiss at the end of Italian Affairs that I'm now making an effort into describing emotions and sensations more, especially internally and not simply physically.