I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS I CAN’T BELIEVE I NEVER POSTED THIS
this is my spread for the Zutara zine from...2 years ago?? anyways zutara modern AU i hope u like it as much as i do :”)
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also Dante’s self-esteem being facedown dead in a puddle. So it’s “Of course travis loves him! Travis is so nice for loving him!” and also “what redeeming qualities could travis possibly see in dante. What could travis be getting out of this aside from dante loving him.” at the same time
he definitely thought travis was only dating him out of pity for a while. dante assumed travis would eventually start hating him and break up with him, but after months of dating that didnt happen and dante had to confront the fact that travis might actually genuinely like him as much as he likes travis (he has no idea why travis likes him because hes convinced that hes a terrible person with no good qualities. travis completely disagrees)
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tw for blood and censored gore, nothing major is shown dw
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ive had such bad ultrakill brainrot recently that i havent drawn dead cells in a while but i also havent had time so heres a bunch of messy sketches of varying quality. might polish and finish some of them one day but that day is not today
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Percy, in a small thread of voice, after kissing the top of Nico’s head: Baby.
Nico, who’s holding him tightly, face buried in his blue shirt that’s getting wet with his tears: … I was born almost 70 years before you.
Percy, shaking his head in disagreement, waving his fingers through Nico’s hair: Baby.
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kinda thinking about how the women who serve as maternal figures/raise kids in yyh are never quite ready for it. genkai's an arguable exception, but like.. atsuko had yusuke at 15, shizuru's basically in charge of kazuma full time in her early 20s/late teens (depending on version) with very very absent parents, and even shiori is given a kid she wasn't expecting, in the form of an old, old demon rather than like. a regular, blank slate ass human baby. and although shiori seems to do quite well with kurama, kurama can never be honest with shiori about who he is, or much of what he's seen. if he was, it'd probably make things far more complicated and overwhelming. atsuko, no matter how much she cares for yusuke, Could Not Have Been and thus wasn't ready to have him at 15. her attempts to make the most of that situation have had middling success at best. shizuru has also been placed into a parental role. we don't really know how long she's been raising kuwabara, but that's.. probably still parentification anyway. she shouldn't have to do that, and she shouldn't have to do that so young. and i think some of her coarseness with kuwa is out of frustration with her own inexperience + inadequacy + uncertainty, his not cooperating, and their parents for putting this on her in the first place. the ones who know the full extent of their situation grow desperate and it squeaks out in unpleasant ways, and the one who seems unbothered by it is the only one who has no idea that she's in way over her head. and i mean. ok. gonna preface this by saying keiko is NOT yusuke's mom in any sense of the word. but she does take care of him in a way atsuko couldn't manage to. she's often looking after him and cleaning up after his messes and stuff. she takes him on as a responsibility, and that is, in a way, a caretaker role. not to say that it SHOULD be her responsibility, but it's how she ends up being.
and when the stress of trying to make someone take care of themselves or be kind or good or Whatever goes awry, again, the violence and arguing and distance and ugliness of caring for someone reveals itself.
and i wonder about that. for a series dedicated to physical fighting as a form of communication, what does it say that this extends to the complicated, quietly desperate situations of so many of the women/girls it depicts, whom our more central characters were shaped and raised by?
hell, even hiei touches on this, because hina loved hiei, but there was no way she was prepared for him, obviously, nor for the pain of losing him. rui (whom i also see as a sort of caretaker figure to hiei, inasmuch as either of them were caretakers) literally throws him off a cliff because she couldn't face down the village elders, and out of some mixture of care for hina and, likely, fear for her own survival. and the guilt and pain of that killed hina and deeply wounded rui.
it's like motherhood, this thing that's so often treated as sacred and beautiful, is a kind of stitched up, painful, eggshell-walking thing that hurts parent and child and it's just. oughh
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