#CANOLA MY BELOVED

[baronessblixen]

Canola season is here!

[king-magppi]

Psychonauts art dump!! The first piece started as a kind of "vent" (I was in a mood when I sketched him out), but I ended up really liking it! The rest is just a bunch of characters I really like in scenarios I really wanted to draw! Enjoy!

Also if you're reading this: up next I have a bunch of designs I drew up as parental figures for the Psychonauts 1 campers!! Yay!! Idk WHEN I'll post them, but I have a good chunk of the designs on standby for sometime soon! I kinda want to flesh them out in doodle form a bit more before I post them but I might just post them as they are.

[woozi]

henlo yza beloved <33

it's been the same for me 😭 how is april even ending like? i am still in my 2023 just started zone, i've been on autopilot mode tbh, also on purpose avoiding the dates lmao because i don't want to perceive the real time (if that makes sense). i'm so glad and proud of you btw <3

" maybe writers didn't think they'd get that far " CRYINGJSJSDJSK 😭😭 they're just like me then <3.

love how we're so alike <3 because i also don't vibe with the revenge type of media too much, nothing is exciting drama wise this year. trying out classics sounds fun, which ones did you watch? i would love to know <3 AND ALSO SAME I'VE BEEN WATCHING MOVIES SM THIS YEAR, it's surprising to me because i used to be like 'i am not a movie person' turns out i just didn't know how to look for what i really vibe with 😭. i've been trying to watch more slice of life-esqe movies these days, i highly recommend canola ( 2016, korean movie) and also a not so slice of life movie, unlocked. i checked it out because of im siwan skjsksks and ended up wishing for him to not come on screen throughout 😭 ( just bit of warning it's creepy and scary </3 ).

i truly get you </3 hope you get will to read soon <333 it's not a solution but i try to read even just 2 pages whenever i feel like my reading block is out. been reading a book like this since feb djsjsksk ( finally at last few chapters lmao ) i just tell myself slow reading is a thing and don't think too much of it.

sorry bss - second wind. i am now friends with seventeen and fml <3 I AM SO HAPPY YZA <3 i didn't know i needed a song based on dragon ball z this bad lmaoo ( i have zero clue about dbz btw, i was a pokemon - digimon kid) but i get woozi, if i was an artist i too would make all songs about my hyperfixations

i love the song, album and them esp woozi 😭. coups wasn't joking around when he said woozi will shine this cb. they all did tbh.

last two days were definitely the second highlight of this year after bss album for me. it's been so long since i got to be in the whole cb fanfare with anticipating teasers till cb day checking out the music. ( i still have to sit down and listen to the album with lyrics. i first listened to album then read all lyrics next day jsdkks haven't gotten time to both together yet ) i really liked everything about this cb and i love that for me. saur excited for the fml mv too. also today is woodz comeback i'm excited about that too it's been long since i heard new music from him

i've been annoying my friend since caratland about woozi (we both watched it together) 😭 now i think this cb cemented woozi as a bias wrecker for me. sorry that got too long i am just rambling same thing atp.

which ones are your top 3? mine atp are fml, super and idubilu ( yesterday third one was dust dhsjjs ) tell me your thoughts about cb hehe very curious about it

i haven't seen the carat day live either, just watched it through twt clips jdjdks ( i can't watch actually because the app hates me 💀 it doesn't load anything on wifi for me since last year )

ikr <333 plato's been my place to cool down fr. rules about ludo +#(#)#)2 the rules about ludo are that there are no rules 😭 they keep changing locally too. differs from person to person i think. i grew up playing with '6 is the only number which will give you chance to come out of the house' rule, nothing else. feel free to text on disc we can arrange time and date to play 🥰🤍

thank you for taking time out of your life to hang out with me it means a lot, i enjoy your company 🥺🤍. i hope you're taking care of yourself mentally and physically despite the busy schedule 🫂 i love you 💌 sending the best and peaceful days your way my yza <3

MA CHERIEEEEEEEE 🌷🌹🌼🌸💐🌺🌻

same </3 and no bc… how are we finishing a quarter of the year already,,, i also feel like we're just beginning 2023 😭 ALSO SO VALID?????????????????? also not to be morbid, but it just feels like we're accelerating to our deaths atp LMFAOOO

it's literally like,, watching sumn to stress on 😭😭 what is the pOINTTTTTT???? maybe other people wanna live vicariously through those characters but i just want a lil silly plot </3 just some people being nice and happy we already have enough bad shit irl!! the most memorable one that i've watched lately was the truman show!! (WHICH IS INSANE TBH BC LITERALLY A FEW DAYS LATER THE SVTEENIES DROPPED THE FML TEASER WHICH HAD SO MANY REFERENCES TO IT JKFJKGJK) AND URE SOOOOOOOO VALID TBH DFHJFDH we really are so much alike 😭 ALSO LOVE THESE RECCS OMGGGGGGGGG thanks for contributing to my list <33

slow progress is much better than no progress <3 love how u intentionally try to get back to hobbies, that is good for the soul 😋

ALSO MADE ME LAUGH FJDHJDFHFJDDF this album really is woozi-coded 😭 from the dbz references, the mv itself… he's SOO,,, and the amt of woozidans now,,, i'm gonna have to fight for my life buying tickets now LMFAOOOO ALSO COOL OMG <#3333333333 my cousin was also a digimon kid, but i wasn't so i don't actually know anything about it 😔

FELT TOO OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i also have forgotten how busy cbs are (especially svt ones tbh) so it was also such a fun experience for me <3 ALSO LOVE HOW U REALLY TAKE UR TIME TO READ THE LYRICS!! more than the vibe and music itself it really is a crucial factor to consider when looking at the whole package <3 AND AGREED!!! i also really liked everything (sans the office photos jfdjkfdjfdk, BUT I LOVEDD the group teaser one bc of the table lol, just feel like we've seen enough office concepts from them and wished they spiced it up a lil but i get how it fits into the whole fml thing). AND PLEEK OMG I DIDNT KNOW?????????? i should've realized that he also had a cb when i saw the tiktok w vernon 😭 the way u open new paths for me every time is so <33

AND PLEEEEEEEEEEEK i'm glad more people are realizing his actual Power <3 he really was so fluffy during caratland wasn't he? 🥺

mine also changes a lot kjfgkjgjk but ms fire will never be dethroned from the no 1 spot <33 rn my 2 other faves r super and dust <3 i previously word vomited on al about that here if u wanna hear more abt my comeback related bs LMFAOOO

ALSO PLS KJFKJDDJK NOT THE NO RULES 😭 and that's so interesting 👁 AND YOU'RE ALWAYS SO SWEET PLS </333333333333333333333333333333 i will actually cry n throw up thank u for always investing time on me </3

AND OFC </3333 I SHOULD BE THE ONE SAYING THAT!! also tried my best but i've been sick for the past 6 days lmfao 😭😭 hope you're staying well and safe on the other hand <3 ily ma cherie <3333333333

[unwritrecipes]

Baked Ziti with Eggplant

With the last of our beasts safely deposited at school for her final year (don’t even get me started!!) I’ve been reminiscing about long ago back-to-school times which got me thinking about family which naturally led me to food and had me scrolling through my archives here on the site wherein I made the stunning discovery that in all these years I have not posted a single recipe for baked ziti!! How could that be when that beloved, kid-friendly, make-ahead dish has been such a staple of our lives?!! Now, I’m sure you already have a favorite recipe for this classic casserole but after that longwinded explanation, how could I not share one that I love?So…in that spirit, please, let me make amends and offer up this wonderful Baked Ziti with Eggplant. Better late than never, right?!!

It’s not hard to make a case for what makes baked ziti so appealing—I mean, even when it’s at its most basic, jarred sauce, team dinner (you know what I mean) it’s still pretty yummy. But go a few steps beyond and add gently sauteéd eggplant, fresh basil and a simple sauce made from San Marzano tomatoes and suddenly this ordinary staple is elevated to WOW!!

Yeah, it takes a little more effort but the end result is so, so worth it! So much flavor and texture and oh, those crispy edges where the cheese kind of sticks to the dish—don’t even think about sharing!!

Here’s to another great school year and lots more family dinners!

Baked Ziti with Eggplant

Makes at least 8 servings, unless you’ve got teenagers and then all bets are off

Prep Time: About 30 minutes; Bake Time: 25-30 minutes

Ingredients

Extra-virgin olive oil

2 medium eggplants, peeled and cut into small cubes

Canola oil

Kosher salt

1 large onion, diced

28 ounce can whole San Marzano tomatoes, crushed by hand

Pinch of red pepper flakes

1 cup water

1 pound ziti (or any small pasta you prefer)

¼ cup fresh basil, sliced roughly

15 ounces ricotta cheese (use less if you want it less cheesy)

1 cup cubed mozzarella

½ cup freshly grated parmesan

The Recipe

1. Preheat oven to 425ºF and brush a 9x13-inch baking dish with olive oil. Set aside. Fill a large pot with water and salt and let it come to a boil for the ziti while you prepare the other ingredients.

2. Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and when it’s hot, add enough canola oil to cover the bottom. Add half of the eggplant and season with a pinch or two of salt. Let cook for several minutes, stirring every now and then, until the eggplant is starting to brown and get tender. Transfer to a plate and cook remaining eggplant, transferring it too when it’s done.

3. Carefully wipe out the pan (no need to wash it), turn the heat to medium and add 3 tablespoons of olive oil. When the oil is hot, add the onion and cook for a few minutes, until it gets softened and translucent but not browned. Now stir in the tomatoes, red pepper flakes and water. Season with salt and let the mixture simmer for about 5 minutes. Stir in the cooked eggplant and let the mixture cook for another 5 minutes or so until it has reduced and thickened a bit. Stir in the basil.

4. While the tomato mixture is cooking, add the ziti to the boiling water and cook until al dente. Drain well and transfer to a large, heatproof bowl. Pour the sauce over the pasta and mix well. Add in the ricotta and toss gently, then scrape it all into the prepared baking dish. Scatter the mozzarella and parmesan across the top evenly.

5. Bake for about 30 minutes until the top is browned and the sauce is bubbly.

Enjoy!

Note: Recipe adapted from Lidia. I tinkered a lot with this, subbed in and out ingredients and proportions—use it as a guide.

[minhoinator]

Since there are a lot more new fans since DCM/Atlantis era, I thought I might compile a list of the links and names of Minho's dramas and films he's been in! I'll put it all under the cut and I'll try to keep it update since he seems intent on being booked and busy lol

The Pianist (2010) [youtube] - "Oh Je Ro is a musical genius who had always dream of learning the piano, but had to work in a piano factory as tuner instead of going to school in order to support his sick father. He had despaired of ever being given a chance to learn and thought the name his father gave him sounded like "Oh, Zero", signifying his lack of hope in the future. This changes when he meets an elementary school teacher, Yoon In Sa, and begins a delicate love story with her." (personal note: While you can tell it's his first time acting outside of SHINee's mvs, he's still super cute (granted, I'm very biased, so that anything I say with a grain of salt lol)

Salamander Guru and the Gang (2012) [dramacool] - "A pair of common thieves and a young computer hacker run a fortunetelling scam, while helping people with their personal problems in their spare time." (note: Kibum and Taemin do cameo in this, as well)

To The Beautiful You (2012) [viki] [dramacool] - "A high school girl who's inspired by a gold-medal High Jumper devises a scheme to motivate him by attending his school."

Medical Top Team (2013) [viki] [dramacool] [Minho-only cut] - "A team of elite doctors treats patients while dealing with power struggles within the hospital."

Because It's the First Time (2015) [dramacool] - "A group of young people gather on a rooftop and tell their stories." (note: Taeoh's friends absolutely did not deserve him 😤)

Canola (2016) [dramacool] - "Twelve years after having lost her grand daughter at a market, grand mother and grand daughter become reunited. But things are not as good and perfect as they were twelve years earlier. (note: his first movie! 🥺)

Drinking Solo (2016) [dramacool] - "The story depicts people drinking alcohol alone for different reasons and the romance between Jin Jeong Seok and Park Ha Na. They both work at a private institute for people preparing for their civil service examinations in Noryangjin, Seoul. He is an arrogant, but popular instructor and she is a rookie instructor who struggles to survive in the private institute world." (note: full disclosure, I could not stand the main leads, but I was watching this for Kibum anyways, and he was phenomenal lol Minho just has a cameo appearance in this, and that's episode 5, I believe)

Derailed (2016) [dramacool] - "Four runaways trying to survive and make ends meet struggle day by day. Enter Ma Dong-Seok. He tried to help but they took advantage of the wrong guy. So it's the classic mistake of wrong guy at the wrong time." (note: one of my favorite roles he's done. he didn't have to go as hard as he did but he did and i'm grateful)

Hwarang: The Poet Warrior Youth (2016-2017) [viki] [dramacool] - "Revolves around an elite group of male warrior youth called Hwarang who grow through passion and love in Seorabeol, the capital of the ancient kingdom of Silla." (note: i have watched this....many times. I love it unapologetically. Kim Sooho has done nothing wrong ever in his life)

Somehow 18 (2017) [dramacool] - "A handsome orthopedic surgeon loses his first love who committed suicide when he was in his high school days. To save her he gets the chance to go back in time."

The Most Beautiful Goodbye in the World (2017) [dramacool] - "The story revolves around a family with their highs and lows when their beloved mother only has one month left to live." (note: I bought this one on dvd so i could watch it when I'm ready but it sounds so sad 🥺 i have to psych myself up for it)

The Princess and the Matchmaker (2018) [dramacool] - "Princess Songhwa refuses her fate of marrying someone who matches her marital harmony. There are four men on her future husband list with different fate signs. Refusing her fate, she decides to leave the palace and find her husband by herself. Seo Do Yoon is a person who interprets marital harmony signs. He is very skilled at his craft and, consequently, selected as the one to read the marital harmony signs between Princess Songhwa and the four men on her husband list."

Illang: The Wolf Brigade (2018) [dramacool] - "Set in the distant future where both North and South Koreas agree to establish a joint government, which has been in preparation for a duration of seven years, the plot focuses on political uprisings on opposing sides which grow fierce when a special police unit is formed to stop the chaos." (note: 🥺😭)

The Battle of Jangsari (2019) [viki] [dramacool] - "A unit of student soldiers on a diversionary mission for the Battle of Incheon during the Korean War in 1950." (note: yeah so i was a complete mess for like the last twenty minutes so just prepare yourself (it's well worth it, though, he was absolutely amazing in this))

Lovestruck in the City (2020-2021) [dramacool] - "Park Chae Won, an honest and overly passionate architect who loves the city streets. After a woman that he calls the “camera thief” steals his heart one summer night and then disappears, he is unable to get over her. Lee Eun Oh, a freelance marketer who spontaneously decides to adopt a false identity in an unfamiliar place. She accidentally ends up falling in love with Park Chae Won while posing as the free-spirited Yoon Sun Ah."

Yumi's Cells (2021) [viki] [dramacool] - "The story of an ordinary office worker named Yumi-from the point of view of the many brain cells in her head controlling her every thought, feeling, and action." (note: just, so adorable so far. Minho plays a side character who shows up occasionally (heavily in the first two episodes), but the story is based off of a web comic that I read when I found out he got cast as Wook and honestly it's worth the watch even if he wasn't in it)

[unbrokenbygrace]

Here is your guide to anoint and pray over your homes.

1.) Anoint the front door and pray that all who enter your home will “go out in joy and be led forth in peace,” (Isaiah 55:12, NIV).

2.) Walk through the entryway and shared spaces. Lord, we set this house apart for your glory. May your name be honored here forever. Watch over our home and protect it. Just like the words you said to Solomon: “…I have set this Temple apart to be holy—this place you have built where my name will be honored forever. I will always watch over it, for it is dear to my heart,” (1 Kings 9:3, GNT).

3.) Ask for angels to come and guard every window and every door as you anoint them. “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” (Psalm 91:11, NIV).

4.) Invite the Lord into the conversations around your table and the living room. “May our conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone,” (Colossians 4:6, NIV). May the words we speak in this place be life-giving and encouraging.

5.) Pray that your family and guests will be made “joyful in your house of prayer… My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations,” (Isaiah 56:7, NIV).

6.) Bless the beds and bedrooms. Even as we dream, show us more of your great love for us, “for He gives sleep to His beloved,” (Psalm 127:2, BSB).

7.) Lord, show us how to use this home to serve you and those around us. “As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD,” (Joshua 24:15, NIV).

Thankfully, anyone can do this. Just a person with some oil, a prayer, and some faith in a very able God.

Why we need to anoint our homes with oil….

By anointing a house with oil a supernatural hedge of Godly protection is placed in and around the house. Anointing oil is used when blessing our homes.

Isaiah 10:27: “It shall come to pass in that day That his burden will be taken away from your shoulder, And his yoke from your neck, And the yoke will be destroyed because of the anointing oil.” (NKJV)

The anointing oil is a symbol of the power of the Holy Spirit and faith in God’s ability to protect, cleanse and keep evil away. It will drive out unwelcome evil spirits. 

By anointing a home with oil is also a way of consecrating the house to God.

“Take the anointing oil and anoint the tabernacle and everything in it; consecrate it and all its furnishings, and it will be holy. (Exodus 40:9 NIV)

Any kind of oil can be used – canola, olive, sesame or other. You can also buy pre-packaged Biblical anointing oils at Christian stores. It becomes anointing oil when you pray over and consecrate it.

Praying over the oil…

Before the oil can be used you must pray over it in order for it to become anointing oil. A simple prayer will do. Simply ask God to anoint the oil and cleanse it so that it may be used for the work of His glory.

#realtalkkim

Via: Kimberly Jones/ FB

[btssk]

Ms. Dokkaebi - Part One

Series Summary: You are the nanny for J-Hope’s older sister Jung Ji Wo. And while you’re great with her kids, best friends with J-Hope, and considered apart of his family, you seem very rude and stand-offish when it comes to the rest of BTS. There’s a tense relationship between you and the other members but when shit hits the fan, they'll realize just how wrong they were about you. But will it be in time.?

Notes: I’m new ARMY who doesn’t know everything there is to know about BTS as individuals so I may not accurately depict them in my writings, but as a FanFic writer who’s found her new muse, i’m just jumping right into it! This was originally going to be a one shot but then I started having too many ideas and points to touch on so I’m turning it into a series. And heads up, i write longgg posts regardless. I’ll probably comb through this a few times after I post to tweak some things. Also, this is obviously written in english but imagine that they're speaking Korean. This is my first BTS fanfic,

Hope you enjoy!

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Pairing: (Platonic) J-Hope x Reader

Summary: You've come to visit your very own personal ray of sunshine Jung Hoseok while on vacation. Despite his unbridled joy at your arrival, the other members of BTS struggle to understand how such terrifying opposites could be attracted to each other.

Warning: swearing, violence

"Here, place these on the table, Canola flowers are her favorite." Hoseok wipes the remnants of soil off his hands and smiles proudly at his personal efforts. "Their train should be arriving shortly, if you still plan to meet them at the station sir." "Right, i'll leave first then. Thank you ladies." The maids bow as he gives his final nod of approval before rushing to the waiting car. "Step on it Dae-Hyun, we can't be late." "Of course sir." "Dae-Hyun," "Yes sir?" "How do I look?" The driver smiled at the multimillionaire international superstar, sweating and squirming in the backseat. "She's going to be thrilled to see you sir."

…

"Does that mean I don't look good?"

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"We're here! Everyone come welcome our special guests!" Two little kids fly into the house faster than Hoseok could finish announcing their arrival. Next came their frantic mother scrambling to collect them and scold the poor manners they were presenting.

Jin gets up from sitting in the living room with both arms open wide, inviting the kids to jump into them. "It's okay Ji Wo, i've missed my little feathers." "We're not little feathers!" "Of course you are! See, I can do this!" He starts spinning around as fast as he can. Hoseok stands besides his sister smiling at his niece and nephew flying in circles. "Too fast!" "No more Ahjussi!" Jin stops spinning, "Ah-Ahjussi? Ahjussi?! Who are you calling Ahjussi? You think i'm so old that I deserve to hear such things?! Ya! You think you'll be young forever?" Jin begins tickling and shaking the two until they're begging him to stop. "You'll be my age soon and let’s see how you like being called Ahjussi! I'm not even that old!"

Jin's signature 'eldest-rant' calls the rest of the members into the living room. "I don't know Jin, i'm starting to see some grey hairs." Jungkook joins in on Yoongi's joke, "Oh, there on the sides right?" "Mm, yeah." "Stob it!"

By the time you entered the room, everyone had already shared their hello's with Ji Wo. Her kids were outside running around with Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin. Jin was still fuming over being called Ahjussi despite Namjoon's best efforts to calm him down, while Yoongi stood by doing his best to turn Jin into a talking tomato.

Busy helping his sister move the luggage to the guest house, Hoseok left your welcome party in the hands of dumb and dumber, plus one. The three kept at their bickering until Namjoon finally noticed you. You dropped two large duffel bags at your feet and wore all black, head to toe. No makeup, hair in a half-assed updo, and shoes still on after entering the home? You weren’t here to impress and currently, were not impressed either.

Namjoon straightened up his appearance before nudging Jin and Yoongi to follow suit. Yoongi hid his smile and offered a very sweet and shy apology. And while Jin was obviously embarrassed to have been caught acting so childish in front of a stranger, this fact presented a dilemma. Why was there a strange woman in his living room? An American woman, with a very unpleasant look of irritation and disapproval on her face? 'Does she not see how handsome I am?' Remembering that he was in his own home and the eldest person present, he chose an informal tone. "Ya. Who are you. How’d you get in here?" No response. The only change being your eyes now solely locked onto Jin. A slight relief to Namjoon and Yoongi. "Did you hear me? Who are you, what do you want?"

"...."

"What you don't speak Korean?"

Silence.

"Aishh," Jin put his hands on his hips, "So, You American came to Korea just to step into a Korean household and not only refuse to address your senior, to state your business, or atone for these things, but can't even speak Korean to begin with? Unbelievable." After another chance to explain yourself, yet remaining silent, Jin rolls his eyes and grabs his phone. "Fine. I'm calling security." Now you looked pleased, almost amused. Did you understand what he had said? Clearly not since you were smiling, but, did you? The three members wait with you in the deafening silence.

A couple minutes and guards storm into the room scanning for the intruder. Jin immediately starts yelling and pointing for them to take you away. Yet you don't move an inch as the guards surround you. Instead, you smile sweetly in return for their low bows. The member's are stunned as the head of security addresses you and you only. "Our apologizes for this mishap Ms. Y/n, it won't happen again." You nod, accepting his notion, and Jin couldn’t take it anymore, "What! what is this?! Who is she that she can enter my home uninvited with more authority than me?!" The guard's explanation is interrupted by Hoseok's return. "Oh good, you've met y/n!" He smiles at his friends indifferent towards the scene he interrupted. "Y/n hand me your bag i'll carry it," he gives you his other arm to escort you outside, "Ji Wo and the kids are already unpacked. I'll help you with your stuff. I made sure your room had those pillows and comforter set you really liked from last time-oh! And I have a surprise for you! I went and picked them myself, your favorite! Then we can talk about what you want for dinner tonight..." The three ‘men’, who were correctly feeling as less than such, watched you step into the guest house as if you owned that too.

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"Explain."

"Oh good, I needed a second opinion! I like the yellow shirt but it's a bit much for dinner at home right? Then there's the blue but it doesn't compliment my eyes very well. Maybe the white one then? You can't go wrong-"

Jin slaps the shirts out of Hoseok's hands.

"No! Explain the woman who just walked into my home with zero etiquette, highjacked my home, security team, and is now downstairs with her bare feet on my coffee table!"

"So you're thinking the blue one."

"Hobi!"

"Jin can you keep it down, i'm trying to take my pre-dinner evening nap," Yoongi throws himself on the bed, "But to his point; Who is she?"

Hoseok picks up the blue shirt and pulls it on. "Uh, well that's a loaded question. I know that she can be very, well, i'm sure you've noticed,"

"Yes, continue."

"But, I guess, she's my best friend." Every remaining member bursts through the door, silently threatening him to say it again. Even Yoongi twisted his head, "The hell did this bitch say." Jin takes the lead scolding Hoseok's blasphemous comment, with the others suddenly becoming faithful followers of their beloved Ahjussi. Once finished fiddling with his shirt, Hoseok addressed the room full of crybabies. "Maybe 'best friend' wasn't the most appropriate label, but she IS someone very special to me. So please, all of you go get dressed and be ready to eat dinner in an hour. I need this to be perfect. It's important, please." He hurries out of the room to find you, leaving his very much so established and unquestionably best friends unsatisfied with his explanation.

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"Tell me to hurry up...look nice...feet on my table!...she's the mean one...I don't even like spicy food...Will you come help me already you see me struggling!" Namjoon was certain his hands were going to fuse with his face if he listened to this for another second. He gladly stood up to help Jin with his tie, "If it'll end your ranting about y/n-"

"Stupid name"

"You met her once for five minutes; you don't even know her." "Ah, five minutes was ten minutes too long." "That still doesn't make any sense," Namjoon grumbles for the billionth time since meeting his friend, "There, done."

"And why are we wearing ties anyways? We're at home! Ji Wo's family! I'm expected to look Grammy's ready for that…that Dokkaebi!?" Yoongi sits up from Jin's bed laughing, "That what?" "When did you get there?" "Did you just call y/n a Dokkaebi? I haven't heard name calling like that since primary school." Jin charges at Yoongi shaking his finger, "You know it! You were there, both of you! You saw her smiling at us; like a blind person winking. Just, empty." A chill runs up Jin's spine that Namjoon and Yoongi have to admit they also felt. "Hear me, that goblin will only cause us problems." "You're overreacting-"

"Her.bare.feet! On.my.coffee table!"

"Look she's special to Hobi, that means she can't actually be that bad right? And again, we only met her for five minutes-" "That was ten minutes-" "DO NOT say it again it makes NO sense! We didn't make a very good first impression either, so let's consider dinner a fresh start." Namjoon and Yoongi guide a still disgruntled Jin down to dinner. They can hear the kitchen is already crowded with conversation, children laughing, and food on the stove. Namjoon takes a deep breath, "Fresh start boys. Be nice." They round the corner to see your eyes already baring deep into their souls. Jin leans into his friend’s tiger grips on him and whispers, "See, see! Some of her goblin tricks already. Evil little mi-chin nyeon-" "You sure you want to finish that sentence." Your comment draws Hoseok’s attention to his friends, "Hey guys! Come have a beer, we're almost done cooking." The trembling mice men find a safe distance from you on the other side of the island and Hoseok hands them each a drink. But Jin’s eyes never leave yours, except to make sure that the knife in your hand is still chopping vegetables and not plunging into his chest. "So, you can speak Korean." "Of course, what kind of American would I be to come all the way to Korea, enter a Korean household, and not be able to address my senior. The honor is mine, Ahjussi." You throw in a lopsided bow at the end but Jin is far from impressed. Namjoon grabs another beer, "Here we go..." Before he has the chance, Jin's attention is on his legs. "Do the funny walk!" "Yeah, the funny walk!" "Oh, I think i'm too old, now that i'm 'Ahjussi Jin'." The twins plead with him until they're disappearing down the hallway, holding on for dear life as he flails his legs as much as possible. You finish cutting the vegetables and hand them to Ji Wo at the stove. Before you have a chance, Hoseok takes the dishes from your hands, "I can clean these too y/n, you go grab a drink and hang out while Ji Wo and I finish up. Your seat is right there next to mine!" If he could walk for you he would, even if he didn't have legs himself. Annoying and embarrassing at times, like now, but at the end of the day you loved that about him; so unashamedly sweet to you like no one else would dare to be.

You go slip into your Hoseok-assigned seat at the table next to Yoongi and count how long it’ll take him to grow a pair and say what's on his mind.

"So y/n,"

27 seconds,

"how do you know Hobi?" "I work for Ji Wo." "Oh, like a secretary?" 'The fuck?,' "Or not. Then, some security guard? No! Not that i'm saying you’re manly or anything, you're very attractive-not that i'm attracted to you-NOT that there's a reason I shouldn't be!" Yoongi chokes on his words long enough for you to respond. "I'm her nanny." You see the first unpetrified emotion cross Yoongi's face since meeting, "Really? You…like, kids?" "Of course. They're adorable." He'd have an easier time believing you if you didn't look like you were recounting the hells of war. Lost on how to continue the conversation, Yoongi tries a new approach.

He moves a tray of assorted fruit towards you, "Here. Do you like fruit? We bought all of this fresh from the local market." "I already had some." "Oh. Okay, good.. Um, I love the tangerines. I bought a whole bundle...where'd they go?” Yoongi notices that his dozen of tiny orange babies are the only fruits missing from the tray. Once again your eyes were waiting for his to catch up. "Did you-" Without breaking eye contact, possibly without breathing since Yoongi’s doubting you even have a heart right now, you peel the last tangerine. You do it slow enough that if you listened closely, you could hear it crying for 'papa Yoongi' to save it. "My...you ate...all of them." The poor boy looked like he went bankrupt with a wife and kids to feed back home. Ironic maybe? He tried his best to swallow his emotions, "That's okay. You're our guest; I'm happy to share anything with-" You pop Yoongi's last little baby into your mouth and he snaps, "That's it. Who hurt you. I demand to know." A slightly sweaty Jin joins the stand-off over his friend’s shoulder with the same scowl on his face, "See...Dokkaebi." Yoongi swears his loyalty with a single word. "Dokkaebi.."

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"Y/n i'm going to the restroom, can you-" "Got it." "Thanks!" Ji Wo runs around the corner leaving you in charge of the children. All, of the children.

Most are taking their seats, Hoseok is practically in your lap talking your ear off, and Jin is trying to shake off the two urchins still stuck to his legs. "Please!? Where is your mother it's been hours, days even!" The twins laugh at his joke and Namjoon again tries to convince Jin that he doesn't make any sense.

"No, more more!"

"Yeah more!"

"More!"

"More! MORE!"

Hoseok eventually nudges you, "Come on y/n, enough fun, the foods going to get cold." 'We never do what I want.' You snap your fingers and point to the chairs across from you. The two tumble over each other trying to see who could be the fastest. So competitive. You were proud. "Whoa, could you train Yeontan to be that obedient?" "You calling my kids dogs." There's a slight breeze behind you that could only be from Hoseok's frantic motions for Taehyung to stop talking. "I, no...nevermind."

Ji Wo comes back and sits next to her son, "Okay, let's eat!" Everyone starts to fill their plates and converse amongst themselves. Hoseok is making your plate while you're busy making the kids'. Sitting on the other side of the twins is Jungkook. He gives himself a pep-talk until he's confident that he's about to do the right thing. Yet, across from him, Yoongi and Namjoon shoot him every desperate facial expression that they know. Whatever Jungkook is about to do, they're sure it's a bad idea. 'What are they mouthing? "Dok...Dokkaebi?" What? That doesn't make any sense.' He gives them a curt 'I got this' smile so the two give up.

'Poor bastard.'

'It's always the innocent.'

Jungkook grabs the bowl in front of him and holds it out towards you. "Y/n, I made this dish specially for you. It takes a few hours to prep and another two for cooking, but Hoseok spoke so fondly of you I knew it was worth the time." You feel the pride radiating from Hoseok when he places his hand over yours. The whole thing's silly, but you let your little sunshine have his moment. "The sauce is my grandmother's secret recipe and I made the noodles from scratch. It's always a crowd favorite when I make it. I'd love it if you had some! Let me put some on your plate." "No thanks." Jungkook stops mid-reach across the table and his doe-eyed smile falters. "I, uh, promise you'll love it. It's the best dish on the table! Please, just try it-" "You trying to kill me (?) I said no" "But-" "And I won't say it again."

A pained silence falls over the group, but nothing compares to the hurt on Jungkook's face. Defeated and humiliated, he slides back down into his chair too embarrassed to lift his head. Then, "I want some!" the little girl next to him slaps a smile back on his face. "Of course sweetie, here!" This time Hoseok and Ji Wo are the ones quick to speak up in a panic. "No hun, you can't." "Jungkook don't-"

*CLINK!*

Your eyes snap to the spoon still spilling pasta on the plate. The sound rings out and fades away without a single interference. Jungkook's frozen in fear, everyone is, as they should be. You can feel Hoseok desperately squeezing your hand, silently begging you not to cut off his friends'. Ji Wo's face is pleading the same case. You listen to Jungkook's heart beat out of his chest for a few more seconds, watch his life flash before his eyes to truly remember this moment by. Removing your hand from Hoseok's, then placing it over his, is reassurance that he and Ji Wo can stop shaking. As for everyone else, they're nothing more than deer caught in headlights. "There's shrimp in that. She, and I, are both allergic to shellfish. If you feed her that, she'll die in minutes, and then you would die in seconds. Am.I.clear." There was another silence while Jungkook struggled to keep his soul from leaving his body. He couldn't believe what he had almost done and begged forgiveness from Ji Wo, "I-I'm so sorry! I had no idea, honest I wouldn't have-" "It's okay Kook, I know that you didn't know. It was an accident," her eyes drift towards you, "right y/n."

She's weary. She can tell that you haven't calmed down, not enough at least. You take your job very seriously; you love her kids as if they were your own. And if you ever did have kids of your own, then god save us all. You really were like a second parent to the twins. The kids once asked if the two of you were going to get married some day. You and Ji Wo were both laughing your asses off until you realized that Eun had fallen out of her chair. Her face was turning purple and her throat had nearly swollen shut. She laid motionless on the floor with her eyes digging into y/n's, begging for help. But no one saw what happened and didn't know what to do. Y/n took a gamble since it was their first time having lobster and gave her her epi-pen. As relieved as Ji Wo was to hear her daughter start breathing again, it would be a few weeks for her, and you, to completely move past what happened. That was the first and only time Ji Wo had seen you so unnerved; truly afraid. And right now she saw that same memory flash over your eyes in a blinding loop. She tries again, "Y/n, it was an accident…It's okay now."

"Y/n," Hoseok's gripping your fist with both of his hands, "She didn't eat any, she's okay. Jungkook knows now, they all do. Right." Every head at the table shook furiously, but you saw none of it. Your eyes locked onto Jungkook and debated which fingers to break first.

Then you felt Hoseok's grip on you change. It loosened, and his fingers gently ran over the back of your hand, something that always forced you to relax. "Angel," One of your biggest weaknesses, "please, for me." was hearing him beg. 'And that dang pet name.' You let out all of your pent-up energy into one labored sigh, finally releasing the dinner guests as hostages. Yoongi jumps from his chair as you abruptly stand. "What did you learn Jungkook." "She's-you both!-are allergic to shellfish," poor thing had been on the brink of crying this entire time, "I swear that I will never forget it-" "No. You don't question me. Ever again."

While you're turned to grab a clean plate for Eun, "Chin-hae don't stand on your chair-!" you hear the sweetest voice back you up. "Yeah! You don't ask y/n questions!" He's all but using his sister's head as a prop while sticking his sticky finger in Jungkook's face, “giving him the business” about not asking anymore questions or trying to kill his sister again. You motion for him to sit down once you're back and shoot a wink. 'That's my boy.'

——————————————————————

"Again, Ji Wo, I am so sorry for earlier at dinner. I still feel absolutely awful about it."

"It's okay Jungkook, honestly. Y/n always carries an epi-pen for both of them. Even if Eun had eaten some, she would've been okay."

"So then, that whole "she'll die in minutes, you'll die in seconds" thing was y/n just messing with me, right?"

"Of course, no chance she'd let Eun get even close to dying."

Jungkook relaxes just enough sipping his coffee to choke on it when Ji Wo continued, “But she might still kill you, that wasn't a joke." Jimin smacks his friend's back until he settles.

After dinner, you took the twins to the guest house to get ready for bed. Everyone else stayed behind and congregated towards the living room to properly catch up with Ji Wo. Before getting married, the boys saw her around all the time. Since then, they only see her on the rarest occasions. It sucks, but that's the way it has to be.

"Anyways, thank you all for letting us stay here. I know it's not everyday you guys get the chance to go on vacation."

All of you were staying at BTS's vacation home out on Daecheong Island. Technically it was Jin's vacation home, but since he always said yes when the member's wanted to use it, no one bothered listening to his empty protests anymore.

The island is located in northern South Korea; just west of Seoul. The home was well secluded, on the coastline with plenty of space and privacy, about an hour or so from the nearest town. It was a favorite place for the boys to get away since they had true privacy while there, but could still feel like they were at home. And rarely if ever would they draw attention while in town. The locals knew who they were but lived their own lives on the island and didn't care to bother them.

Namjoon pats Ji Wo's back, "Don't worry about it. We're happy to have you." "Yeah. No filming, practices, recording schedules," Jin stretches back in his chair, "no responsibilities what so ever. Plus now, you and the little ones are here? Talk about a good time." He turns towards Ji Wo though, momentarily becoming serious, "And no one knows where we are. Promise." The rest of the group offers reassurance to Ji Wo.

Hoseok leans in close to his sister, "You didn't tell anyone where you were going right? Didn't have any issues?" She shakes her head no. Anyone else would think that the boys were worried about people finding out where they were. But Ji Wo knew the truth. They wanted to make sure no one knew where she was. Especially her children.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback

You remembered the first and only time that you had met Ji Wo's ex-husband. It was the twins' third birthday party and the first of many without their father. Ji Wo pulled out all the stops to try and make it as special as possible. There ended up being just enough commotion for him to sneak in through the side gate.

You'd heard plenty about how he lost custody of the twins due to his alcoholism, and how more than once it led him to put his hands on the them. Not to mention the few screws he had loose in the head. He'd never do anything less than swear he loved his children more than anything and just wanted to be a family. But after putting Ji Wo and the twins in the hospital, twice, he didn't stand a chance in court. At the final hearing he reeked of alcohol and rambled on about making Ji Wo pay for stealing his children from him. He was detained for disorderly conduct and Ji Wo won sole custody.

There wasn't a word from him after that so no one expected him to show up that day.

You didn't know what he looked like, but the new stench of alcohol in the air and screams from Chin-hae was more than enough information. "Oh come on son, I brought you a present...I think?" The drunk stumbled around trying to feel for the nonexistent gift. Every child ran to their parents as you ushered them all inside the house. Ji Wo didn't have security then, and this was the moment to change that.

Chin-hae and Eun clung to Ji Wo's legs, remembering enough of their father to be afraid. "Seo-Jun. What are you doing here." He acted genuinely offended by her comment, "Is it not my children's birthdays? Their father should be here." He staggered closer and Ji Wo struggled not to shake more than she already was. "N-No. You, should leave. The restraining order-" "TO HELL WITH THAT PIECE OF PAPER!" His outburst even made you jump. You needed to hurry and make sure everyone was safe inside before going to help Ji Wo. Only a few more people and then you would be free to kick his pasty ass.

"Seo-Jun please, you're drunk; you're scaring the kids." "Oh, well then," his posture straightens and eyes go dark, "i'm suddenly feeling very sober. No need to be scared now. Come on kids, give your dear old dad a big hug." Only a sour breath away from them and both kids were soaked in their tears. They cried "Mom no! Don't make us!" "We'll be good! PLEASE!!" "MOM!?" Ji Wo clung onto them as hard as she could without hurting them. She took two steps back for every one Seo-Jun made. "Come on guys, you're not being very nice. You can't still be mad about last time right? I said sorry. And hey! I have some new friends for you to meet." Three men entered the backyard with eyes glued to the kids. "Seo-Jun please! Don't do this!?" "Ji Wo. Honey, you know I won't ask again," he holds out his arms, "Hand them over." When the men start advancing Ji Wo drops down to her knees to shield her children as best she could. But she was crying just as hard as they were, just as terrified.

One man had his hand on Eun's flailing leg for less than a second before being drop kicked by you running at full speed. He didn't get up until the ambulance arrived. Without hesitating you go after the next one, throwing hit after hit until he falls and doesn't get up. The third pulls out a knife and you see red. Knives, real knives like these, sent you into an unstoppable rage. You had plenty of reasons to hate them, and even more to hate Seo-Jun. The man took a few swipes at you before taking a misstep and gives you the opening you need. A single move and you get ahold of the knife, toss it, and start breaking as many of his bones as possible. This wasn't just about stopping a kidnapping anymore, it was making sure they suffered as much as time allowed you.

This would be the first time Ji Wo and the kids see you fight; see you turn into a monster, "Y/n?" and Hoseok. The look on your face must have terrified him because he stumbles back before being able to focus on the situation. Hoseok runs to help Ji Wo, taking Chin-hae so the four can make a faster break for the house.

Seeing his plan go to shit, Seo-Jun makes a last ditch effort to grab at least one of the kids. He takes after Ji Wo and Eun but luckily he's a lot slower than you are. You drop the near lifeless body you'd been breaking and sprint after him. He sees you coming and his desperation overtakes logic. Seo-Jun reaches into his jacket, "You're not taking them away again bitch! Let's see how you like it!!"

*CLICK*

"Y/N!!"

*BANG!*

A silent cry forces its way out. You're hands radiating fire from the new hole in the side of it. Your panicked reflex led to sloppy technique in redirecting the barrel of the gun from Eun. you can't let it slow you down. A left hook and solid kick to the side of his knee and Seo-Jun crumbles. Working through the pain, you knock the gun out of his hand and jump on top of him, hitting him with everything you've got; every punch you know with all the strength you have left. You couldn't feel anything from your right hand up to your elbow, 'guess I'll just have to keep going until it comes back.'

-

You don't know how long it's been, could be minutes maybe only seconds, but Seo-Jun had stopped moving. You know that you should probably quit now, but hearing Eun scream for you a moment ago was far too close to home. You knew that sound; you're brother made that sound. And the more you remembered it, the more it seemed this high you were on would never end. You didn't want it to. You hated Seo-Jun for everything he's done and for everything he reminded you of. The life you fought through Hell to escape from. If he lived through this, you swore you'd finish him off for good one day.

Your ears were still ringing from the gunshot but a voice fought it's way through. "y/n...Y/N! You have to stop! It's okay now! You need to calm down! Please!" If Hoseok would be honest with himself, he was too afraid of you to do more than scream from a safe distance, let alone try and touch you. The way you weren't letting up on Seo-Jun's body even for a moment. He looked over at the man you had been beating up when he arrived. His body was crumpled and folded over like a distorted carcass. It was inhumane; indigestible. He knew parts of your past but seeing it manifest in front of him? he didn't imagine being this afraid of you. Would you ever hurt him? How thin was this line you toed? Did he know you at all- "AHH-!"

*BANG!*

Hoseok doesn't move when blood splatters across his face. He can't even will his tears the courage to fall. He had been too lost in thought to realize the second man you attacked had gotten up. How he had only been step or two away from him, gripping his partners knife. He didn't notice how swiftly you turned and shot him with Seo-Jun's gun. Square between the eyes without blinking your own. You killed a man without hesitation, totally relaxed with zero remorse.

The only thing strong enough to pull you out of your rampage was someone you loved being in harms way. No amount of rage could trump the urge to protect them, and only once they were safe would you feel yourself come back to earth. You stood up, back in reality, but Hoseok was still lost in the clouds. Only a few moments ago he was debating the origins of your soul, now he knew you were his guardian angel. If not for you he would be a pile of sliced meat right now, or Ji Wo, or even the twins. They could have been taken like Seo-Jun wanted or worse, also like Seo-Jun wanted. Ji Wo was helpless to stop it and he arrived too late regardless. You knew all of this already, that's why you fought for them. With all of your heart you protected Hoseok's family; his whole world, and now him too. He'd never be able to repay you.

"D.I.P.D.! Drop the gun! Hands up both of you!"

"Backyard is secure."

"Roger that. Civilians are all accounted for and inside of the home is secure."

"We've got four bodies; call for another ambulance." "Yes sir."

"Check for pulses and take those two into custody already!" "Sir!"

The next month was nothing but back to back court hearings, being shuffled to and from your holding cell, and meeting with lawyers before and afterwards. Everyone who was at the birthday party had to testify in court, then they were free to go. But almost every one stayed throughout the entire trial. Your motives weren't lost on them; they knew what a monster Seo-Jun was and it was obvious what he was there to do. Each testimony painted you as the selfless hero who saved the day. Mounted against Seo-Jun was a multitude of eye witness testimonies, means and motive, forensic evidence, the crime scene report, and the irrefutable security camera footage. Seo-Jun's remaining accomplices got 18 months by accepting a plea deal while Seo-Jun himself received 3 years, eligible for early release after 2 on good behavior.

Normally with the amount of evidence against Seo-Jun, this case would have been open and shut in a matter of days. But in private you were being psychologically evaluated and cross examined by both teams and the judge personally, to determine your own fate. Your personal file, although sealed from the public and PI Investigations, had to be taken into consideration. In the end you were cleared of all charges and free to go. If anyone asked, the delay in your release was due to some "administrative issue with the paperwork or whatever" and so you spent that time just sitting in your cell counting sheep.

During your release, "We know who Seo-Jun is y/n. Be careful," the judge leans in close as you walk past her and whispers, "stay close to those kids." That decided your fate, whatever that may come to be. This wasn't over; Seo-Jun would be back, so not a day would go by that you weren't by their sides.

You were prepared for the worst when you saw the Jung's again. You thought they'd call you a monster and tell you to stay away. But tears poured from your eyes when Chin-hae and Eun crashed into your legs and refused to let you leave them again. Ji Wo's hug surprised you most, you two had never hugged before. She immediately hired you as the kids' personal bodyguard but if anyone asked you were their nanny. (A secondary role you fell into). She moved you into one of the spare bedrooms of her new undisclosed address and location home, just down the hall from the kids' rooms. She told you to do what you want with the room; paint it, rearrange it, knock out a wall, you name it. Then gave you a personal black card to use how you like. You told her it was all too much, trying to remain humble and modest, but it just made her cry. She couldn’t comprehend how else she could repay you for what you did for her and the kids, not that she felt this even amounted to enough.

Next you hand picked her new security detail. Each candidate had to fight you in hand-to-hand combat as the final test, and whoever didn't go down in 30 seconds made the cut. One of them managed to land a hit and became head of security, also your fill in whenever you weren't around.

Hoseok hadn't come around the first few days after your release. 'Why would he, he saw what I can really do. What i'm really like.' Ji Wo would tell you not to worry or think too much, that he probably just needed a bit more time to process some things.

You woke up on morning and were instantly suspicious, "What?" Ji Wo just kept smiling ang giggling to herself on the couch, "Oh, nothing. Just a funny book." "You're not reading a book-" "Oh the door! I wonder who that could be." You turn to the guard stationed in the main hallway, "She hasn't been drinking has she?" "No ma'am."

Ji Wo prances back into the room, "It's for you!" then off into the kitchen. "Ji Wo I know you're pretending; you haven't cleaned a single dish in 6 years." "Just go to the door?!" You shuffle down the hall, "I hope your mystery guest doesn't mind me looking like hell!"

"They don't,"

you stop.

"They think you always look pretty great actually."

"Hoseok..."

He stood at the door holding your favorite flowers and dressed to the nines, "What is this, what are you doing?" He stepped through the threshold, "Can I come in? I don't want to end up like the last guy who didn't ask you." His joke was stupid and inappropriate but he laughed like a goofball all the same. You tried to smile but couldn't stop the frown from forming. You look down at your feet suddenly feeling ashamed and embarrassed in front of Hoseok. He closes the door and puts down the flowers. He holds your hands in his, "What's wrong?" "Nothing I," 'I was afraid you hated me,' "I just missed you. You haven't been around since..." The words were stuck in your throat and you were at a loss at how to get them out. "I thought..." He understood, "Hey no, no. I'll admit I did need some time to process what happened but, I could never..." 'I'm not afraid of you,' He cupped your face and lifted it to make sure you heard this next part, "I owe you my life y/n. You saved all of us, and that's not something that a bad person would do. I could never be afraid of you; I love you." You wiped a stray tear and playfully punched Hoseok in the shoulder, "Hobi don't," "What? I don't mean like that!" You both laughed. It was a relief to feel like things were back to normal between the two of you.

"You know what I mean." "Yeah I do. I love you too Hoseok. Now seriously, what is all of this; what's with the get up?" "Oh, well I was worried that you might be feeling a little down so I wanted to treat you to a day out! Starting with breakfast at that fancy restaurant you like." "The one with the giant fish tank? And we get to pick out which fish we want to eat?!" "Yes now hurry up and go get dressed, our reservation's in 45 minutes." Your sprint towards your room looked the exact same as the twins. Passing the kitchen you hear Ji Wo, "He's feeding you isn't he." "YUP! My favorite!" “Bring me back some-" "Absolutely not!"

20 minutes later and you're speeding back down the stairs dressed and ready to go. "There's no need to pull me out the door like this! We have a reservation; we won't have to wait to eat-"

"But all the good fish could already be gone! I want one so fat and juicy it has rolls!"

"Fish don't have rolls-y/n you're drooling on my sleeve-Ew it's on my hand! Let go already!"

You shove his body into the car and jump in after him, "Let's go Dae-Hyun! Get us there in 10 minutes and i'll get you whatever you want to eat." "Deal."

"Don't you mean i'll get him-?"

"Not now Hoseok I have to focus. Momma's going fishing."

Hoseok rolls his eyes at your theatrical evil grin, "For someone with a shellfish allergy you're too excited to eat fish."

"What can I say, I go wherever the spirits lead me."

"You're not spiritual."

"I am when they lead me to fish."

End of Flashback

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"Good night honey. Sweet dreams." You had already finished tucking Chin-hae into bed and now it was his sisters turn. "Sweet dreams y/n. You'll be here when I wake up right?" "Always." You kiss her forehead and turn off the lights when you leave. You went down the hall to your room to change into something more comfortable before heading back out to the main house. Security had already been stationed around the guest house, so you felt okay leaving the twins here alone for a while. On your way out, you passed by the kid's room once more, 'Eun must have been really tired. How has her snoring never woken up Chin-hae before.’

You smile thinking about those rascals on your walk back to the main house.

Jung Chin-hae and Jung Eun.

Your favorite people in the whole world. A fact that hurt Hoseok's feelings even though he felt the same way. He never knew if because of his lifestyle, he would ever actually find true love, get married, and have children of his own. So his niece and nephew were the closest that he was going to get, and he loved them with all of his heart.

Ji Wo chose Chin-hae's name because it means 'depth of the ocean.' Going to the beach and being on the water was something that she craved constantly while she was pregnant with them. It was her escape and sense of peace while she faced struggles in her personal life. She had recurring dreams about sailing off with her children, away from their problems, and starting new lives as mermaids living happily in the sea. When they were born Chin-hae came out first, technically making him older, and it's how he acted. He was a textbook caring and protective big brother to his sister. His emotions could sometimes get the better of him (as demonstrated at dinner) but he had the biggest heart and was so thoughtful. Especially when it came to Eun.

Eun's name was chosen without a second thought. As soon as she opened her eyes, she looked up at Ji Wo with shining silver eyes. As beautiful as they were, there was concern. The doctors did some tests and found out that Eun was colorblind. They explained, in laymen's terms, that the parts of the eye that perceived color hadn't developed and therefor lacked pigment. That's why her eyes looked silver, and how Ji Wo chose her name.

When the two got older, Ji Wo tried explaining that Eun was colorblind, but Chin-hae didn't understand and thought that she meant Eun was completely blind. This misunderstanding created many memories that you'll never forget. You laugh to yourself thinking about one of your favorites. Chin-hae was constantly by his sister's side since learning that she was 'blind'. He was always holding her hand, trying to do everything for her, even tried brushing her teeth every now and then. One time you had called them to dinner but heard the two yelling at each other in the other room.

"Careful Eun! You have hold my hand, there's a step, you'll fall!"

"No I won't! I do it myself!"

"You can't! You're blind!"

"Nu uh! I see you!"

"No! You not see anything!"

Eun gasped, "I not see you?"

"No!"

She immediately started bawling her eyes out, "No oppa, I not see you!"

Chin-hae did his best to comfort her and grabbed her hand, "Hush Eun, it's okay. You always just hold me, like this."

He walked her over to the table and sat like nothing had happened but you couldn't wait to relay it all to Ji Wo. It was the sweetest thing watching him make her plate and then try to feed her. Ji Wo had to explain things a few more times before they finally understood what she meant. Even so, he still describes every color that he sees to her whenever she asks. You often daydream that that's how things could have been with you and your brother.

You let the bitter-sweet memory fade away when you enter the living room and take a seat next to Hoseok. ‘Of course he was saving me a seat next to him.’ He nuzzles himself into your side and carries on talking about the upcoming festival on the island. No one listens to a word he says because how could they? Did he just willingly throw himself into the lions den? What were you going to do they thought,

‘is she going to gouge out his eyes?’

‘Stab him for invading her space?’

‘Pull out his hair?’

‘Use his bones to make her bread-? Oh wait no that’s Shrek.’

Your only reaction though is to put your arm around him and listen to his rambling about this festival. You never bored of your ray of sunshine. You could always count on him to lift you up or calm you down. Of everyone you knew, no one was able to explain how the two of you could be so close. With seemingly nothing in common, you were total opposites and not in a cute Christmas romcom type of way. But maybe that was why you loved him so much.

The expectation is that the people who’d like you would look just as scary, be just as off putting, just as much a monster as you knew you really were. Yet it was someone like Hoseok to welcome you into his life. He saw the sliver of a good heart that you still had and spoke life into it.

“You’ll never leave us again.”

“We owe you our lives.”

“You’re not a bad person.”

“I love you y/n.”

Even though you weren’t into holding hands, snuggling on the couch, or going to whatever festival Hoseok was talking about, you’d do it for him. For all of them. So you let him snuggle into your side while you run your fingers through his hair like he liked, and Hoseok plays with your free hand. “-that sound good to you y/n?”

‘God knows what he’s talking about’

“Yeah sounds good Hobi.”

[shadowsandstarlight]

Can’t stop thinking about doing a road trip with my beloved and Walmart Sbi. The memes that would bring. Just. Everything. Going from place to place, checking out all the roadside attractions and such… Historical sites, and beautiful views… Driving past field after field after field of canola

[sister-sp1d3r]

so uh last night was fucking WILD (put under a read more because this was so absolutely cursed also there are pictures of our creation)

cw for emeto ment and absolutely vile drinks

we had several half empty two liters/jugs/cans of shit lying around and didn’t wanna dump em out so we made the jungle juice from fucking hell with literally anything we could find that we didn’t wanna bring home.

the ingredients? (a lot)... coke, diet coke, sprite, room temp pineapple juice, blackberry lemonade, mango lemonade, strawberry gatorade, old monster (pacific punch, ultra gold, ultra violet), day old coffee, pomegranate white tea bags, pilsbury cake frosting, maple syrup, canola oil, salt, pepper, troli gummies, and a bit of residual river water from putting the fire out with the costco gallon jug (it’s allergy friendly bc we didn’t add the last few peanut m&ms)

we funneled everything in, stirred it and put it in the freezer for exactly 30 seconds then poured shots for everyone which we did all take...

speaking of which... it was hell. you know how some people prank their friends by mixing pepper into their drink? it was worse. i learned afterwards that our “resident mixologist” cut open the tea bags and put them in and it was like every damn flavor at once

after three shots i tapped out, but as for some others?

he got about 3/4 down in one chug before getting violently ill immediately after. i don’t have the next part on video because i was physically restrained as my beloved partner picked up the jug... and drank the rest down to the gritty shit in the bottom...

video of us trying to get the gummies out of the bottom ft. my partner (seen left), our “resident mixologist” (seen right), the chugged jug hero and the ruler of the camp (heard behind the camera)

afterwards everyone was leaning over a sink, a toilet, or a bush, in an act of shared suffering. we held each other’s hair back as they slowly died. i remember my partner turning to me in bed and asking what it felt like to see god... it was then 2am and we planned on waking at 6:30 to clean the house... and we were all dead today

tl:dr me and my friends made the nastiest fuckin drink known to man and we all paid dearly for it

[madetobreak]

yeah we had this kid who was the sweetest person, was friends with everyone, had every door open for him, like looking back now it seemed he was genuinely happy. but now? he just isn't himself, from my personal point of view i think he got too sucked in what miss canola is, like when was the last time he saw his best friends brian, jon, matt? when's the last time he was in his beloved condo, spent more than three days with his own family? it's really hard to watch what he's come to

yeah also his entire personality just changed? he used to be so against the stuff he’s doing now? it’s genuinely very confusing 

[awheckery]

for all my celiacs in the house

but mostly @ms-demeanor

this is a brownie recipe and it will change your entire life

140g (5 oz) salted or unsalted butter* 30g (1 oz) dark/baking chocolate, chopped

115g  (4 oz) granulated sugar 140g  (5 oz) light brown sugar 100mL (3.5 oz) heavy whipping cream*

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract 1 tsp coarse or kosher salt

45g (1.5 oz) dutched cocoa 15g  (.5 oz) natural cocoa 30g  (1 oz) teff flour 60g (2 oz) tapioca starch 15g (.5 oz) ground flaxmeal 15g (.5 oz) certified gluten free oat flour 15g (.5 oz) almond meal 15g (.5 oz) brown rice flour

1 c. milk chocolate chips 1 c. semisweet or dark chocolate chips

1 metal 11″ x 7″ brownie pan (I use this one, please buy anywhere but amazon)** flourless cooking spray

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Whisk together flours and salt in small mixing bowl. Set aside. In small saucepan, melt and brown butter on medium heat. Stir in chopped chocolate to melt. In large mixing bowl, beat sugars and chocolate butter together. Add in cream and vanilla, beat until smooth. Add eggs and beat on medium speed until smooth. Slowly mix in flour blend, stopping occasionally to scrape bowl sides. Stir in chocolate chips. Aggressively coat pan with cooking spray and pour mix into pan, smoothing into the corners with a spatula.

Bake for 17-22 minutes or until toothpick inserted into center comes out wet but not sticky. The edges will look cakier and begin to draw away from the sides of the pan: this is how you know they’re done.

Leave pan on counter until brownies are completely cool, and then slice into your preferred dimensions. The final texture will be solid enough to slice, yet soft enough to smear upon the body of your beloved should you be so inclined, what I’m saying is, these are halfway to being straight up fudge. They look like this when you’re done:

*TO CONVERT TO DAIRY FREE: substitute an equivalent amounts of canola oil for the butter and coconut cream for the heavy whipping cream and use dairy-free chocolate. This has a negligible effect on the final outcome, the results are consistently delicious.

**I’m pretty sure there’s a pan-size conversion that can be made, but wow I’m having a spectacularly bad week, so I’ll figure it out later

[shawnsmusical]

Shawn honey don't bring canola in my country. Did you see about the q&a today? He said that he is in love and don't care if people just knows him about his relationship and not his music. Beloved???????

Your country started it!

[neweverymorn]

Song of Solomon

My sister sings his name when she rises in the morning; While she makes her bed, her hymns are him. She braids her copper hair with wire and lights the lamps, sighing for the one her soul loves, her beloved. She looks for him across the farmer's fields through canola and wheat, through the river. She seeks him in the city streets and in the tall grass, her blue skirt dragging behind like a cotton sail as she calls for him: "Where is the one my soul loves?" He is in the stillness, the calm of the hour there where a thousand feet brush hurriedly past. He is there where she seeks him at the garden; by the gate, my sister seeks him, and she finds him speaking her name with lips of myrrh and arms of sweet lilies and she puts out all her lamps, and falls to sleep at his side.

[formerly-anonhamster]

Hey, y’all the vitamin that helps me relax is kicking in so I wanna share my BELOVED recipe: fried chicken with ginger. If you’re interested, it’s below the CUT, because it’s long. And I love rambling.

What you’ll need:

- 1 chicken breast or thighs (my personal favorite is chicken breast)

- oyster sauce and soy sauce (that you eat with sushi if you can steal a packet at a restaurant that’s fine lol)

- fresh ginger (I usually use 2 roots of ginger because I love the heat, I recommend using 1 first and see how you handle with it from that)

-sugar (any type is fine, but I personally recommend brown or cane) and black pepper

-Olive or canola oil 

-A cooking pot, something to stir with, some container. A plate probably. Maybe many spoons. SOme wooden spoons.

HOW TO ?? COOK???

1. Prepare the chicken by cutting them into bite-size cubes or strips.

2. Put those chicken cubs or pieces in a bowl or whatever container you have. Pour some oyster sauce enough that it could be marinated with the chicken. Pour a bit of soy sauce in there. USE YOUR HAND TO MIX everything together and make sure every piece of chicken is coated. Pinched some sugar and put it in there.

3. When the chicken looks like it has a nice coat of mixture, grind some black pepper in it as much as you like. Remember that it does add some heat to the chicken.

4. Set the chicken and mixture aside! Time to prepare the ginger by peeling the skin, you can use a knife or spoon to scrape the skin off. After peeling off the skin, cut them into slices, and then cut those slices into strips. If you feel professional OR good with knives, stacks the slices together and cut them into strips. By the time you cut the ginger, the chicken should be nice and marinated if not...just put cling wrap on top and let it sit in the refrigerator.

5. Set the cooking pot on the stove, turn the stove on and pour a bit of oil of your choice in. Wait until it heated up a (but not too much) then pour your chicken and mixture in. Let it chill in the pot until it’s lightly cooked, then pour the sliced up ginger in. If you feel brave you can put the lid on top of the cooking pot, DON’T fully covers the pot, and let it cook by itself for like 5 mins and checking in to see if the chicken is cooked.

6. Holy shit! There’s brown water! In the POT! Congrats, that’s the sauce that came out of the marinated chicken! Or whatever. Once you’re sure everything is cooked, you can turn off the stove. And put it in a container or plate or whatever you’re planning to eat with.

OK, I COOK THEM? WHAT CAN I EAT IT WITH? Traditionally with rice because it’s Thai food (I got the recipe from my mom, and I butcher it so to my taste/mood). Roll it with pita bread with some lettuce or spinach and carrots! There are endless possibilities! Go forth!

[abramsbooks]

RECIPE: Chicken Soup (from Matty Matheson: A Cookbook)

Chicken soup is something everyone should know how to make. It’s one of those dishes that’s healing. All you need is chicken and water. Serve it with grilled-cheese sandwiches or just by itself. It’s good for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Add noodles or rice, Parmesan cheese, or chopped kale. It’s one of my favorite foods. My Nanny always made it with her leftover roast chicken dinner, a meal she cooked often. I loved knowing that after a roast chicken dinner came the chicken soup. The real beauty of chicken soup is that it’s such a blank culinary canvas. You can make Mexican pollo verde, pho ga, Italian wedding soup, broth for tortellini. It starts with roasted chicken and water and can end in any part of the world you wish. But this one is my grandmother’s, and I hold it close to my heart.

Serves 5 Prep Time: 3 hours

1 (3 to 4-pound/1.4 to 1.8 kg) whole chicken

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

3 tablespoons canola oil

½ cup (120 ml) good olive oil, plus more for serving

2 onions, diced

2 carrots, peeled and diced

2 stalks celery, diced

2 leeks, cleaned and white parts diced

1 bunch parsley

1 bunch thyme

4 bay leaves

1 lemon

Preheat the oven to 400°F (205°C). Pat your bird dry; season with salt and pepper and rub with the canola oil. Place on a rack set on a baking sheet and roast in the oven until the chicken is golden brown and the juices run clear when a knife is inserted between the leg and breast, 45 minutes to 1 hour.

In a Dutch oven, heat the olive oil over medium heat and add the onions, carrots, celery, and the white parts of the leeks. Cook until the veggies are tender, about 15 minutes. Stir every 3 minutes to make sure everything is cooking evenly.

Remove the chicken from the oven and drain the rendered fat into the pot with the onion mixture (also known as a mirepoix). Let the chicken rest for 15 minutes so you can handle it. Cut the chicken in half and place in the pot. Add just enough water to cover everything.

Bundle the parsley, thyme, and bay leaves and tie with twine; drop it into the pot. Bring to a boil, then turn the heat down to low and skim the scum with your ladle; simmer 1½ hours.

Remove the chicken from the stock and clean the meat and skin off the bones. Leave nothing. Chop the meat into medium dices, then return to the soup. Season with salt and pepper. You may notice you’ll need a lot of salt to bring out that chicken flavor. But don’t be afraid to keep adding until you reach that salty-rich broth you’ve been searching for your entire life.

Ladle some into a bowl and add a squeeze of fresh lemon juice or a few drops of good olive oil, and hopefully you’re watching your grandfather’s crow’s-feet curl up as he’s smiling at you.

Matty Matheson, star of Viceland’s It’s Suppertime and Dead Set On Life, reveals his favorite recipes and stories in a cookbook that his devoted fans have been waiting for.

Matty Matheson is known as much for his amazing food as his love for life, positive mental attitude, and epic Instagram account. This debut cookbook is about Matty’s memories of the foods that have defined who he is. With a drive to share his zest for life, he creates dishes within these pages that reinterpret the flavors of his youth in Canada, as well as the restaurant fare for which he has become so well-known. Interpretations of classics like Seafood Chowder, Scumbo: Dad’s Gumbo, and Rappie Pie appear alongside restaurant recipes like Bavette, Pigtail Tacos, and his infamous P&L Burger. This is a very personal cookbook, full of essays and headnotes that share Matty’s life—from growing up in Fort Erie, exploring the wonders of Prince Edward Island, struggling and learning as a young chef in Toronto, and, eventually, his rise to popularity as one of the world’s most recognizable food personalities. His no-nonsense approach to food makes these recipes practical enough for all, while his creativity will entice seasoned cooks. This book is like cooking alongside Matty, sharing stories that are equal parts heartwarming and inappropriate while helping you cook dishes that are full of love. Matty Matheson: A Cookbook is a new collection of recipes from one of today’s most beloved chefs.

For more information, click here.

[onyxthewriter]

Poppy Seed Bread

It hadn’t been his fault. There had to be other reasons, other explanations on why it had to be Jack. His brother was a good kid, better than him any day. With a grim smile and hungry determination, Jack had always worked hard, for what, his mother couldn’t say.

She’d tell him, “he’s lost, looking for somebody or something. I’m not sure he knows either.” But there was never an answer to the unspoken question, never a sound from that sparsely decorated room. It was taboo, to speak of it, to look at the scratched up walnut door and think about what was beyond.

Cam did everything his parents hated. He was the mess-up, the rebel, the one who shouted at them for the sake of argument. Cam wasn’t shouting. The house was silent in the way the floorboards creaked only in the shifting of foundation, in the whispers that staved off pitying looks for a second longer.

Leather cleaner sat on the bed stand, next to the singular ornament—a sketch of Cam. Somehow, despite the arrogance, Jack had never hated his brother who swore and hit and left. Lost. How had Jack been lost, Cam would question. Jack the perfect younger brother.

Straight A student, beloved in church, a friend to the kids labeled ‘rejects’. He made them laugh at the hardships they faced, make this dark ball of ugliness and turned it into a joke. Cam liked that about his brother. It made the ball inside him more bearable.  

Cam lifted the old wretched drawer out of its warped holdings. It was vague and empty, like the stupid house he stood in. A pencil, a broken watch, and a clipped paper. He ripped the paper out, throwing the drawer across the room. It crashed and howled in protest, denting the gray walls. The monotony of them needed to be ripped away, torn into oblivion. The paper scorched Cam’s skin, searing a brand of words and scrawled lettering.

The window was covered. No light from the gray dawn sky to fill the gray room with gray light. Cam felt gray—the pallid contours, the haunting bumps along its cracked and sickly skin, and it burned its wane, weak light in response. This light was not pure or heavenly or harsh or beautiful, nor did it sing of godly things or scream artificial lies. It sat in his chest, bumping to the irregular rhythm of Cam’s heartbeat.

Cam unfolded the paper. And laughed.

Poppy seeds     Almond Extract

Orange Juice     Vanilla Extract (the mexico stuff)

Powdered sugar

Canola Oil

Baking Powder

A fucking grocery list. Jack’s last words hadn’t been unique or important or dreadful. It was ironic. They’d made poppyseed bread when they were younger one night. If there was something Jack wasn’t good at, it was cooking. His greatest accomplishment had been a grilled cheese sandwich until Cam had snuck back into the house after a loud disagreement with their parents. One of many. They’d made poppyseed bread with almond glaze and the look on Jack’s face when he’d eaten half the loaf made the following argument with his parents all the more bearable.

It wasn’t like that most days though. Cam might’ve loved his brother, but he treated him with disdain. He’d been envious of Jack’s natural goodness. How easy it had been for Jack to smile and help their father do the dishes, or fix up the car with their mother. Cam hated it back then, hated his brother for the failure he, Cameron Mevile was. Cam never thought it was fair, but he never stopped himself either.

It was Jack’s way of saying goodbye. And no one but he would know. A silent fuck you to their mother. Cam couldn’t have been prouder. Except that Jack was dead and he’d live with the fact that he had been a shit brother.

His mother whispered up the stairs and paused at the taboo door.

“Jasmine?”

He laughed more. It reeked of ridiculousness, peppered in phony, lackluster notebook paper. His mother opened the door, gray hair matching the gray walls and gray light and gray emotion. After years, and he’d expected a different name. Cam almost pitied her, for her stubbornness, her inability to grow up and realize a reality that had been around for centuries. And he laughed about that too.

He was wrapped up in the black and white carpet, saturated in the notion. Forced to break, Cam fell quiet as his mother stared at him, eyes dead. Dead eyes for a blind woman.

And now he felt dead too. Cam giggled at the irony. He didn’t giggle.

“Jasmine?” Harder, louder, but singed with kitten soft down. He was impressed his mother had managed more than cough. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

That got his attention. His mother, even when she threw him out of the house, hadn’t sworn, hadn’t glared, or so much as watch him go. The paper fluttered from his fingers and it was not his fault.

“It’s not my fault.”

“What,” she said, pinching her lips, “are you doing here?”

“My brother kills himself and you think I wouldn’t? I know I haven’t been your son for years now, but that was my brother and you don’t get to take him away from me.” Cam stood, upper lip turned in disgust at his mother. “You took everything else, but you won’t take Jack from me.”

“Daughter.”

Cam’s chest tightened. Rolled. And he shut down the rational thoughts of storming out, striking, burning the damn house down. His mother never got it out her head—Cam hadn’t come out as an act of rebellion, or anger or hate. He’d been fed up with constantly being called someone he wasn’t. Yet she misconstrued it, making Cam the bad guy, blaming his behavior for the pronoun change. And Jack, he loved it when his brother came out. Cam could see it in his eyes.

Jack hadn’t been okay with how their parents treated him, but he had said time and time again, “Cameron, never hit anybody. You’ll end up in jail, wondering how you got there and I won’t bail you out. Use your words, Cam. Fight with them instead.”

Cam might not have listened then, but he damn well was listening now. They were right. The Band Perry, at least. Funny when you’re dead how people start listening. The cold iron of truth settled in his stomach.

Square shoulders, hands clasped behind, nails worrying at his left hand. “No. I’m a man and you can’t take that away from me anymore than you’ll try to Jack.”

She stiffened, face drawn in revulsion. It still made Cam laugh, the way her her eyes only came alive when she was repulsed by him. It used to hurt. The stupid things pain did to him, it didn’t have the power to kill him.

“Jack’s commited a sin and so have you. You’ll rot in hell for this. Rot until your bones are dust. You’re no daughter of mine. Get the hell out of my house.”

“A fucking sin, you arrogant woman.” Cam snatched the paper from the floor, brusque demeanor throwing off his mother. “And I thought I killed him, and here you are, telling me it was sin that killed him.”

He walked out of that gray house, into the gray light and climbed into his dark gray car, his gray tie on the passenger seat. Tears weren’t his style. Rough and tough, he’d swear. If anyone had asked, he’d say there was some dust in his eyes. Classic line.

Putting the brand new car into reverse, Cam backed out on to street he never wanted to see again, and drove to the local grocery store, the list crumpled up in his grey suit pocket.