#CIA assassination plots

[thoughtlessarse]

State department says allegations of American collusion are ‘categorically false’ as US navy member identified among foreign citizens detained The US state department rejected wild allegations of CIA involvement in an alleged assassination plot against Nicolás Maduro after Venezuelan officials announced the arrest of three Americans, two Spaniards and a Czech on Saturday. The claims of a plot against Maduro – the Venezuelan president, whose recent re-election is contested – were made on state television by Diosdado Cabello, the interior minister. Cabello said the foreign citizens including a US navy member were part of a CIA-led plot to overthrow the Venezuelan government and kill several members of its leadership. In the television programme, Cabello showed images of rifles that he said were confiscated from some of the alleged plotters. The US state department late on Saturday confirmed the detention of a US military member and said it was aware of “unconfirmed reports of two additional US citizens detained in Venezuela”. “Any claims of US involvement in a plot to overthrow Maduro are categorically false. The United States continues to support a democratic solution to the political crisis in Venezuela.” The claims come two days after the US treasury imposed sanctions on 16 allies of Maduro, accused by the US government of obstructing voting during the disputed 28 July Venezuelan presidential election and carrying out human rights abuses.

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That doesn't sound like the sort of thing the CIA would do, well, apart from in most countries that have governments the US doesn't like.

[deadpresidents]

There are three more books I should have included on my Best Books of 2023 list from earlier:

Madonna: A Rebel Life Mary Gabriel (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO)

The Lumumba Plot: The Secret History of the CIA and a Cold War Assassination Stuart A. Reid (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO)

The Last Honest Man: The CIA, the FBI, the Mafia, and the Kennedys -- and One Senator's Fight to Save Democracy James Risen with Thomas Risen (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO)

[liberty1776]

The attempt to assassinate Donald Trump and his heroic response to it are uppermost in our minds. We don’t yet know the details of who was involved in the attempt on his life, though I suspect that the “lone gunman” theory will turn out to be false. But the sad event offers us a chance to reflect on something that we do know, and that may well be relevant to the attempt on the former—and we trust soon to be next—president’s life: The CIA has been involved in numerous assassination plots since its inception. One of these plots is especially … Continue reading →

[ech0light]

was looking up this guy to see if he’d been in persons of interest because he looked like one of the bad guys from it but turns out bro fucking lived it

[ptseti]

A History of the Democratic Republic of Congo… From IG - @redstreamnet — Did you know that the CIA once orchestrated the execution of Patrice Lumumba by a firing squad? On the 17th of January, 1961, Patrice Lumumba, the first democratically elected leader of the Congo, was executed by a firing squad following assassination plots concocted by the US and Belgian governments. Lumumba’s anti-imperialism and his vision of a united Congo made him an adversary of both Belgium and US imperialism. Although the CIA ordered his assassination, they weren’t able to carry it out themselves. Instead, Washington and Brussels secretly funnelled cash and aid to rival politicians who organized a coup and arrested Lumumba. He was then beaten, tortured, and killed. #BlackHistory #PanAfrican #AfricanHistory #AntiColonialism

[unmarkedhelicopter]

it’s so insane and funny how yakuza 3 becomes a metal gear game halfway though. daigo was shot by the cia

[fuckyeahmarxismleninism]

Venezuelan Interior Minister Diosdado Cabello reported the arrest of a U.S. Navy SEAL alongside two Spanish citizens allegedly linked to intelligence agencies.

The foreign citizens are accused of plotting to assassinate President Nicolás Maduro and other high-ranking Venezuelan officials.

At a press conference on Saturday at the ministry’s headquarters, in front of some of the 400 seized firearms linked to the reported plot, Cabello accused Wilbert Joseph Castañeda, an active duty U.S. sailor, of leading the effort on behalf of U.S. intelligence.

“Castañeda is the head of the operation, placed here by the CIA,” said Cabello.

Castañeda’s arrest was first reported earlier this month. At the time, White House Spokesperson John Kirby denied that the Navy serviceman was in Venezuela on official business and argued his travel was for personal reasons.

[fictionandescapism]

Reasons why TUA S4 is not canon to me

(spoilers obviously)

You're telling me that Lila held on to her resentment for so long in her marriage without saying a word?? She would have told Diego a long long time ago about the behaviour that was bothering her.

She does make fun of him sure, but never in front of people and she definitely doesn't allow other people to make fun of him ( remember when she called Ben a shitty little squid because he was mean to her boyfriend) so honestly what was up with all those fat jokes???

I've seen other people mention this too but like despite having three children, it really seemed like they only cared about Grace, I never even knew they had twins till it was actually mentioned on screen.

The five and Lila thing was just so weird??? Like I get the whole only people on the planet thing but honestly there was zero romantic chemistry between them ever and now suddenly because they're alone, they're hooking up?? Not to mention, later five acts like he's in love with her??? Like what was that??? He was literally acting like a lovestruck teenager which he never did even when he was stuck in an actual teenage hormonal body.

Again this has been mentioned before by other fans but like five's deal has always been about protecting his family and now he's just chill with leaving them behind and starting a life with Lila?? He's always butted heads with Diego but there was never a doubt that he genuinely cared about him like he cared about all his siblings and now he's ready to fight him over a girl??? You're telling me that makes sense?

Not to mention neither of them looked particularly remorseful about what they had done. Even towards the end, none of this actually got resolved, the insane love triangle still existed, at some point it felt like Lila was never in love with her husband at all, Diego never actually said goodbye to his kids, Claire and Allison were the only ones who got some kind of closure, Klaus was on bizzare side quests the entire time, the whole plot of luther and Diego finding out the CIA boss was involved also kind of didn't really matter in the end?? Like it was some half ass attempt to make them relevant to the plot, even him deciding that he would rather spend time with his kids didn't matter because he lost them like idk three hours later? Don't even get me started on the numerous glaring plot holes in that ending because I wouldn't even know where to begin.

TUA S4 was truly character assassination at it's finest.

[badkitty3000]

What did you think was ooc for Five?

Great question, and I have already covered it a bit in my post here, but I could probably yammer on all day about it, so I'll add some thoughts.

Season 1 -3 Five was focused, determined, manic, arrogant, sometimes mean, violent, out-spoken, and full of love for his family above all. Yes, he insulted them and had no time or patience for their shit, but considering everything he'd been through and what he was up against, there was a reason for it. Season 4 Five? Ok, yeah, I can buy that maybe he was depressed and didn't really know what to do with himself anymore. Myself and others have certainly written him that way a few times. But, damn, he spent like all of season 3 bitching about wanting to be retired and here he could be! He could have played the stock market a few times, bought a little place somewhere, picked up a nice lady at the local Bingo hall and lived his peaceful live he deserved. Instead, he works (inexplicably) for the government and just wanders around with his sad little trenchcoat and CIA-issued pistol and flashlight, taking orders from The Man and just...existing I guess. I could see if they made it so that he joined the CIA to get inside info on Reginald and he had spent the last 6 years quietly plotting to take him down and get his revenge or set the world straight again. But no...he apparently hadn't even tried to look into anything Reggie was doing? Like he was just "*shrug*, it's probably fine".

Five loves his family above all else. We know this. If not, he wouldn't have spent decades alone fighting to get back to them and save all their stupid asses. Now, all of sudden, he just doesn't seem to care? Yes, he's present and has obviously kept in touch. He goes to the birthday party, etc. But there is zero interaction with Klaus, or his nieces, or even Viktor. When at the end, he finally gets some fight back (although for completely absurd reasons) and snaps at Luther, the whole family gasps in shock like this is some new occurence that Five would be mean to them. And he'd said much worse to them before! So, that leads me to believe he just has spent the last 6 years being a completely different person and everyone forgot he's actually an asshole?

And back to the family thing...fighting his brother over his wife? Falling in love with Lila, the same person who: conspired behind his and Diego's back in Season 2, was raised by his villainous boss, was the daughter of two innocent people he killed, tried to kill him with her fists, a frying pan, her feet, a knife, electrocution; and who he tried to kill multiple times as well. Yes, they have had time to heal some wounds and they have a shared traumatic experience with The Handler but come on...he would never! He would never be attracted to her that way. He would never betray Diego that way. And he certainly wouldn't fight him over her, not when she and Diego are married and have kids together. I don't care how many years they were together alone...just no. Best friends? Sure. Lovers? Fuck no.

Physically, where was his prowess? Five is supposed to be the all-time badass assassin, trained in martial arts and weaponry. His body is young at 19-20 years old, and at the peak of his physical fitness. Even without his powers he should be able to kick some ass, or at least try to. And then when he does have his powers, he just doesn't know how to use them correctly anymore? And again, he looks slow and weak in a fight. His solution to taking down the big Bennifer blob thing was to fire an entire clip at long range at it, and then just go "huh...weird that didn't work". Why wasn't he looking around the mall for a weapon? An axe? Something else to fight against it! That's what he does...that's his THING! We were fucking robbed of a Five-centric badass fight scene, when there were so many opportunities for one. Hell, he could have taken down a room full of Keepers with a fucking ballpoint pen while singing along to Abba's Dancing Queen! Why didn't we get that?

Meeting with Reginald. Remember in Season two when Five met with Reggie at the Tiki bar? He sat and had a drink with him, but it was still tension-filled with a lot of emotion there. Then in Season 3, when he was basically like "you're a sadistic lunatic that is going to kill all of us" and got right in his old man's face and told him he was a giant dick? This time...he's just standing around Reggie's house shooting the shit and not even acting like he's mad. That is just not the same guy. I realize this was supposed to be Viktor's fight with Reggie, but they still could have shown Five to have a little emotion there.

So, there you have it. I could probably keep going, but this is way too long as it is. It's just heartbreaking, really. This character that we have all come to love for all of his complexities and faults and heroics was just diminished to a one-dimensional, uninteresting character with no regard for his family. Basically, just undoing three season's worth of plot and character development. And it's not Aidan's fault. He did the best he could with the shit he was given, and I feel sorry for him. For as much as we love this character, Five was his. He made him come to life and there's not many other actors his age that could have pulled that off. So, I'm sad this was his end. They really did him dirty.

[edibleashell]

TUA S4 feels

Pretty sure that Umbrella Academy S4 finale left a permanent scar on my psyche. Still one of my favorite shows but I might just end after season 3 in future rewatches. So many issues with S4.

In like episode 1 we got Ben and Jennifer touching and that started a countdown to the end of the world and the whole season was just junk to fill that time. So many good ideas that weren't done properly at all. Shuffling their powers? Alternate timelines? Hargreaves owning pretty much everything? Abigail just being alive? Pointless.

Luther was just a repeating loop of stripper and home decorating jokes.

Diego should have been a martial arts instructor or something not a depressed delivery guy. A bunch of jokes about him getting out of shape only to reveal that he's still jacked. He throws a potted plant and misses. His arc is just Big Sad for no reason and the relationships he built in the first three seasons were apparently irrelevant, if anyone would have been taking care of Safety Klaus it would have been him.

Allison's character was just an accessory to Klaus, after three seasons of her trying to reclaim the family she lost she ended up spending more time as a tool to Klaus's arc than she did with Claire. And Ray just being casually written out was so disrespectful.

Klaus, oh poor Klaus, my favorite character, what did they do to you? He should have been a nurse or something but instead he was paranoid, then pissed off because the writers decided that Klaus would equate marigold with drugs and just fall right off the wagon? And then he goes to some sketchy guy he owes money to even though S1 Klaus is shown just buying drugs from random people? All to justify his prisoner plot, none of which had any real impact. And he can fly for a second for some reason. Okay.

Five working for the CIA was bad. He should have been the retired fun uncle to Claire and Grace. After spending fifty years trying to get back to his family why did he keep leaving them? Why did he hook up with his brother's wife after only six years? And am I supposed to believe that in every timeline he has the same haircut? That none of the other Fives lost their arm? How did he never notice his boss's blatant umbrella tattoo? He just casually strolls through "his" apocalypse as though he doesn't have ptsd, and why were he and Lila living off sewer rats when they had infinite timelines to scavenge?

I was so excited to see Ben witg the family but one episode in he becomes a bomb and fucks off with a girl who can hardly be called a character.

Viktor was the only character I thought got some form of authenticity and justified growth, his arc kind of seemed like a ripoff of S3 Klaus though. And we missed out on what could have been a really beautiful scene of him drawing the upside down umbrella on his arm.

Lila went from "I don't want to be like my mom" to a motherhood cliche. And what was the deal with her family? She just found her parents and they immediately accepted her or something? Was there another Lila in this universe? That made no sense. If anyone would have joined the CIA it would have been her. Her and Diego should have been weird parents teaching their kids how to fight and kill but instead they got some domestic life that those characters never belonged in.

And there's so much more! Abigail is alive? Hardly relevant. Why did she body snatched Gene, it didn't really seem to change anything. The Keepers existed only to be a minor obstacle in the last episode. And are her and Reggie aliens? Why? How? What's the point?

AND DURANGO? THAT'S A CAR! Harland named marigold and for a farm kid that makes sense (though the retconned acceptance of that word into Umbrella vocabulary was irksome) But Durango? Abigail is a scientist and she names The Bad Dust after an SUV? Why?

AND WHY WAS THERE ZERO QUEERNESS? Each of the first three seasons had some sort of queer arc but not this one. I still wonder if some higher-up didn't intentionally assassinate the show as backlash for the immense respect S3 gave Elliot Page.

One last thing, music is a big part of the show, they've always put such thought and care into the soundtrack and it makes sense knowing who the creators are, so why, of all songs, was Baby Damn Shark the first song to be featured in like three episodes? It seems intentionally disrespectful.

I'm done, rant over, I'll never recover from this.

[redlenai]

So... hear me out, this is my re-do of Umbrella Academy season 4 and also the finale. So, we know Allison made a deal with Reginald and they ended up in a new world without powers and all that, and instead of getting new, weird ones, they get their original powers back, but they took only a sip of the marigold, so they are failing and not always active at will (Otherwise, Klaus, Allison, Laila and Viktor would be too OP again).

Allison got her daughter back, husband left her, I prefer that that way. I also LOVED HER in season two so why not let her be a hairdresser still? With a succesful one amongst old ladies and vintage enthusiasts. She doesn't want any of her clients dating her siblings, she is keeping her business!

Luther instead of a stripper, what about bringing back him being number 1? But not necessarily a glamorous job, but a fullfilling one with people like him who wants team work and maybe start doing some personal healing, so let's make him a Camp Counselor. He is the leader of a group of kids, kids that listen to him better than his siblings, he is nice, he is there for them, he may not be the wisest but he is attentive and sensitive, so I think that would be a good spin for him. Some moms would fawn over him, who doesn't love a big teddy?

Diego and Laila, I love they got twins, I would have liked to see them more. I would have loved for everyone to be more involved to the niblings, so Diego, I would have left him all his fighting techniques, those could had nothing to do with his perfect aim powers so he still had them. I could see him having a Dojo in a Mall and secretly teaching his daughter how to fight. Yes, Laila being totally against.

Laila I really like that growth in the beginning, mom of three, doing undercover. I liked she acknowledged being an assassin almost her entire life then this change its too sudden, yes, secrets aint good but instead of being nasty to her family, keeping that bag out of the house seems correct for me.

Klaus, hear me out, him being a germaphobe, sober, clean is golden. His fear of permament, genuine, death is glorious, and I feel so sad they didn't dive more into him stepping up for Claire, you could tell he loved his niece and even with all his flaws he was there for her and did those changes for her too, not only because of Allison's support. I think his world should have been his niblings now, he'll endure the germs of his niblings and only theirs, his siblings need to wash their hands three times and use some alcohol before touching him.

Ben, nothing much to say. He is Sparrow Ben so yes, to me him doing a bitcoin scam its perfect, I think its the only thing from the beginning of the season that I won't change one bit. I'm also keeping Luther being the one trying to incoorporate him to the family. Still a bitch, but behaves in front of the kids

Viktor, what did they do to my man. Listen, instead of him being a douche with ladies and being so far away and in a damn bar, hear me out. Violin teacher, close to family, simple as that, some of his students are making progress... his ears are no longer bleeding during sessions!

Now, Five. You know, he was in his 60s. Reaching his 70s after this one final timeskip right? (I'm not good at math). I think I would have spin things very differently for him, first, a young body is just that, a young body. He is still older than all of his siblings, he still experienced solitude, trauma and more. So I can picture him not being as sharp as before, mind sliping, stubborn, everyone tries to deny it, but Five is aging, he needs help. Instead of working for the CIA, just an old man in a young body, winning some chess contests for the thrill but tired, maybe sharing a decent apartment with Luther and Ben since the first was the first one to notice these changes.

I wouldn't have changed much of the plot, Marigold and Durango? Having to destroy all timelines? Ok, let's keep that but let's chance the way how it works. Besides, I would have introduced the Fives hanging around in the Subway quite a bit earlier or removed it entirely.

Main plot: Finding Jennifer, Reginald and Abigail come to the conclussion that the clearance IS the monster, IS the end of the world just like how it happened, but it isnt.

Sub-plots: Diego still not trusting Laila or not appreciating what he has, Klaus having a panick attack and afraid of losing all the progress he has made so far, Five's slowly going senile (Getting his powers and being able to access the Subway makes it worse), Viktor wanting closure about all the abuse Reginald has caused them.

I did like the Cult and the Umbrella effect, but lets not involve the CIA, that was a bit just too much. But I liked Abigail sabbotaging her love, I think the gang deserved to get to know her a bit better and see what was that their father longed for so long.

But understanding doesn't mean forgiving.

Laila and Five do get lost for 7 years in the Subway, Laila seeing now instead of Luther how Five IS older, IS an old man, IS aging and NEEDING his family close. I really got this image of the scene being them taking shelter in that green house, nothing romantic happens between them, just Five appreciating Laila is there just to make an odd comment "Wish the others cared to visit", then Laila having to remind him they were lost and needed to get back.

Diego, instead of having his awakening in the CIA, he just goes from sibling to sibling, yes, he does the talking! He still jumps into conclussions but now seeks imput!

Klaus as said is terrified of having his powers back, all his terrors come back to haunt him, he doesn't fall back onto the drugs in an instant, nor the alcohol. Instead of taking that TV, I really wanted Claire to be his anchor, I know, she shouldn't have such a responsability, but who wouldn't want to help the family that choose to keep the closest when you needed the most? He forgives Allison, then instead of the whole medium thing and being buried alive (despite the last being actually a reference to the comic and how originally Reginald trained him), he slowly goes back, sometimes its hard to remember too all the progress you made with your gift/curse, and thanks to not have used too much marigold helped him to gradually get used to it, especially alongside his sister and niece.

Ben and Jeniffer are in the run from Hargreeves and the Keepers, instead of them getting that rash then evolving into a monster, let's go back to my point of interest: Niblings.

Well, instead of a fricking monster, what if Ben and Jennifer just got a baby on the way, one that was growing way too fast, but not as much as the 43 children. Ben doesn't trust nor feel the others are family, he doesn't want them, his real family is dead, that's a fact.

Well, let's say seeing your love at first Durango suffering a weird pregnancy that is causing those weird stuff (I liked the Earthquackes, dead animals, people dead by ink), enemies right and left, not sure if she survives, she dies, there is a baby or monster on the way... kind of makes you want the group of nosy assholes back, especially if something bad happens to you or the mom.

II like that Abigail seemed to care about the gang, I was surprised Reginald even talked about them, so I can imagine her just wanting to care for them, so what if the gang talked during their "visit" about their kids too, wait, does that mean Reggie has grandkids? Are these my grandkids? or step-grandkids at least?

So I think the finaly argument between Reginald and Abigail should have been, yes, he should have left her die, that they were wrong, that's not the end of the world, that is a new beginning. Reggie, do the right thing, that's the 4th grandchild you won't be able to meet.

We have part of the gang trying to help soon to be Daddy Octopus prevent the Keepers, Hargreeves agents and yes, the CIA as its own thing, from entering. Then another half helping Jennifer, the birth happens.

And that is the ending, everything fades to white.

"In October 1st of 1989.... nothing out of the ordinary happened. To be exact, the actual date is (Insert modern time). I'm just watching over a... peculiar family that found each other"

Then we have in said park the whole gang, people that didn't die nor did go to the Temps Aeternalis. Umbrellas and Sparrows as well.

There, happy ending.

[catcas22]

Rykard: Worked as the head of Marika's CIA for years, all while planning treason directly under her nose. Managed to flip at least one of omniscient spymaster Gideon's assets. Ran a multi-tiered cult with decent forward-facing PR.

Ranni: "Did you do that assassination everyone's talking about?" "Yeah that was me lol."

Imagine what the months leading up to the Dire Plot must have been like. Rykard must have been grinding his teeth down to nubs just from the sheer stress of it all.

"Blaidd, if she looks like she's about to crack just pick her up and physically remove her from the room. I don't care how suspicious it looks, I'll smooth it over later."

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, semifinals of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

For Legolas and Gimli:

They literally have a running competition between the two over who has more kills. And non-canon my ass, Legolas took Gimli to valinor

They kill alot of orcs together. They make it into a competition. Better minds than i have spoken about the couple ness

[autisticsupervillain]

My last post about Agent 47 being a Tumblr Icon proved popular, so here's more Tumblr approved 47 facts.

47's wife has technically killed him twice. Both times it was so he could come back to life later and kill his actual target. Diana could walk right into his living room, stab him with a butcher's knife, and he'd just go "well, who are we killing today honey?"

47 once had to get close to his target by disguising himself as a giant flammingo mascot. One of his target's bodyguards, a furry, tries to start a conversation about it. 47 could not end that conversation quick enough.

One time, 47 tried to disguise himself as a realtor to get close to his target. All of his attempts to sell the house to his target involve advice on how to kill someone in those rooms. The target never questions this. Later, both the target and 47 stumble across a month's old crime scene. 47 goes full detective mode and delivers a full paragraph detailing what happened and how the victim died, before remembering he's supposed to be a realtor right now and brushing it off.

One time, in order to get close to a target, 47 got a job interview at a bank. His response to every question involves more or less just flat out admitting that he kills people for a living. They hire him on the spot.

47 has read his universe's version of the Twilight novels. He also killed the author of said Twilight knockoffs, but not before criticizing his writing and complaining about a plot point he didn't like.

47 once infiltrated a secret meeting of international spies, billionaires, and supervillains by walking right past the guards in his regular iconic suit, as everyone took one look at him and assumed he was supposed to be there.

Agent 47 canonically has an aura of death that hangs over him that only psychics can see. When an actually psychic meets him for the first time, he panics and all but pushes 47 out of his establishment.

47's most used alias, Tobias Rieper, as an instagram account. It's filled entirely with travel pictures from places he's visited while killing people.

Agent 47 inexplicably looks identical to one of the most popular fashion models in the world, Helmut Krueger. This doesn't hinder his ability to disguise himself as literally anyone in the world though.

One time, a bunch of nuns in stripper outfits showed up at 47's hotel to blow him the fuck up with a rocket launcher. He was inexplicably completely unharmed by the explosion.

One time, a mad scientist tried to test his mind control device on 47. 47 resisted it so hard that the scientist dropped dead from the psychic backlash.

One of his regular outfits for missions is a clown suit.

47 has a reputation at his agency for killing people in the most ridiculous and over the top ways possible. It got to the point that another assassin tried to imitate 47's style, which backfired so badly that the assassin accidentally killed everyone in the building, including himself, and let the target get away completely unharmed.

47 once manipulated another assassin into killing his targets for him. Unfortunately, said assassin was so bad at his job that 47 had to do everything for him, from adjusting his sniper rifle so he could actually fire it, to getting the targets into his line of sight so the assassin would actually see them.

47 once stopped a depressed person fresh off a bad break up from an abusive relationship from committing suicide by following him around the globe and beating him unconscious every time he tried to kill himself, all without the guy ever actually noticing him. 47 only stopped when the guy decided he must have a guardian angel looking out for him because he keeps falling asleep whenever he considers going through with the deed, deciding he owes that angel an honest attempt to getting his life back on track again.

Agent 47 has a friend in the CIA named Agent Smith, who keeps getting kidnapped and held prisoner at all the locations 47 is doing missions in. 47 keeps having to rescue him because Smith usually has good intel on his targets. Smith considers 47 his best friend, while 47 holds Smith in open contempt.

47 is a millionaire, but he cannot spend any of his money on luxary items due to his life style. His profession means he's constantly moving to new homes and can only live safely in sparce homes with nothing but fast food to tide him over. His suits are his only affordable luxary, as anything more lavish could expose his location and get him arrested or killed. He's a millionaire who has to live like a broke king thanks to his triple digit body count. It's only when Freelancer happens that he finally gets his own home.

47 is a pro at Dance Dance Revolution, but only when he is dressed like a ninja.

And finally, 47 has canonically killed countless fascists, pedophiles, billionaires, and even anti-vaxers who run MLM pyramid schemes. Up to 365 of them and counting, in fact.

[reality-detective]

Inside the CIA's plot to assassinate Julian Assange 🤔

[ihatepissvortex]

"even if it was true its America's fault" I know this is a tongue in cheek post but don't infantilize Cubans please we have enough problems

respectfully disagree. not really sure it’s possible to talk about Cuba’s current problems without talking about the 6 decades of brutal economic warfare, CIA plots, psyops, invasions, and assassination attempts from America. it’s not “infantilizing” to recognize the negative impact America has had on this world