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spyvstailor · 2 years ago

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Burn, Baby, Burn - Chapter Two

I guess this is a thing now? @acapelladitty what do you think? Should this be a thing? Is it cursed just right for public viewing or should I kill it in the cradle?

It's the Firefly and Baby Doll buddy comedy that no one asked for, but y'all get to suffer through it with me. Enjoy!

Chapter Two

“Hello and welcome to It's A Pool, Pool Summer Water Park and Amusements, can I rent you a flutter board for the slide or perhaps some swimming gear? Do you have any small fries with you that will need arm floaties or a life vest?”

Why did it seem like only the freaks came to water parks?

Garfield was working his mandatory parole job a couple of days later, still feeling hung over from his bender and having to explain to his parole officer why he missed his shift.

It had taken him a couple months before he realized that them sticking him in a tiny hut, at the side of the Small Fry pool, next door to the Small Fry Shack and Soda Shop, was like punishment straight out of hell.

So much water, and noise, and children screaming and splashing.

Not to mention the mandatory uniform of swim shorts that came straight out of the 70's and a whistle. Why a whistle? He wasn't sure, it wasn't like he was a certified life guard. Maybe it looked more official in the world of swimmers and pools.

He got to blow it once, when a father was choking on an Orca Dog and he needed an actual guard to come, since he wasn't allowed to leave his sweltering shack.

Water, water everywhere and nothing to set ablaze.

“Jesus, is this where they got you working?” The customer in line behind the mother who had just left said, dropping her sunglasses to look him in the eye.

He felt the hangover wash over him instantly and swallowed thickly. “Mary Louise, you shouldn't be here. You're a triggering person.”

She laughed and hopped onto the counter, it was a bit of a struggle as she barely cleared it standing up. “Did they really put you here surrounded by water?” She laughed almost cruelly. “That's funny.”

He leaned over the counter. “It's a long way back down.”

“You need a tan and some manscaping,” she ignored him, motioning to his pale, hairy chest. “Because this...is not working for you.”

“I thought I did manscape,” he replied glancing down.

“With a leaf blower?”

“Are you looking to rent anything?”

“No, I just came to laugh at you in your dumb booth.”

“Then go.”

She crossed her arms. “I'm not going anywhere. You promised me.”

“I promised you what?” He inquired, blood already running cold.

“The orb? You said you'd get it for me. Or help me get it, but let's face it here, only one of us is a thief.”

“I'm a pyro, not a thief.”

“You've thieved before, thoven even.”

Garfield exhaled. “I can't break parole...and I don't remember anything about an orb.”

“Fink!” She declared, reaching in her beach bag and pulling out her phone. “I knew you'd say that.”

He was already fucked and he knew it.

There on the screen as she turned it to him, was a very drunk him, looking deep into the camera with unfocused, half lidded eyes.

“I don't even care, I'll burn that fucking place down and the orb will just be in the rubble, just in the rubble and embers. Can't destroy an orb of challengings. No, listen...I promise...we'll get that thing.”

Mary Louise tucked her phone away proudly as he crossed his arms.

“That's fine, won't hold up in criminal court.” He stated.

She nodded. “Ok, you want to walk that back...fine...”

Garfield watched with horror as she slipped down on his side of the counter, immediately knowing where this was going by the evil glint in her eye.

“Where's the candy, mister?!” She asked loud enough for anyone who walked up to hear. Thankfully no one was coming yet as her hand reached for his trunks. “Should I keep looking before mommy comes?”

“Oh, you little bitch,” he growled, slapping her hand away. “Fine, stop that!”

She stepped back, giggling.

“Oh, you bitch...” he murmured. “I...I can't help you directly and break parole, but I can connect you with someone who will.”

“Why do you care so much about parole?” She demanded. “Just be bad, you were cooler when you were Firefly.”

“I burned buildings in bike leathers with thermal wings on my back, Mary Louise.”

“Yeah, and a flamethrower in your hands, it was fucking cool. Look at you now, you look like my father at the Cape.” She said looking him up and down. “Come on, don't you wanna be sexy Firefly again? In those leathers? Not with one ball hanging out the bottom of his swimtrunks in a dumb shack by the kiddie pool?”

He looked down and quickly tucked his ball back into the short, swim shorts. “Fuck.”

“It's okay,” she said.

“It happens a lot,” he admitted sheepishly. “They don't have good netting. But I'm back here so no one really notices..."

“I wasn't talking about the shorts. I meant, it's okay to be bad, if being bad is in your nature. But...maybe stick to the meds though, be bad, but not crazy. That's the most dangerous baddie of them all, the sensible one.”

“If criminals were mentally healthy, I don't think they'd choose a life of crime, Mary Louise.”

She shrugged. “Maybe...or maybe it's just who we are.”

“Look,” he began. “I have to get back to work, meet me at the Iceberg tonight, around 8?”

She nodded. “Ok. You better be there!”

“I will be.”

Mary Louise opened the door to get out, but stopped and turned to him, saying sincerely. “Not bad though. Needs work, but not bad for an old man pushing 60.”

“Come on,” he pleaded glancing down. He thought he looked good for pushing 40. “That's unnecessary.”

She giggled and left.

He showed up late in another old man sweater, huddled in on himself from the cold, and Mary Louise was already there, chatting amiably with a man who was stroking her cheek.

“Such lovely skin,” he was purring as Garfield moved to stand behind him, waiting his turn to speak with Baby Doll.

“Thanks!”

It wasn't until the man went on in his soft, purr of a voice, that Garfield felt that heat of anger flare up deep inside him.

“How would you like to come model for me? I really like your skin,” Dollmaker cooed. “It shines so brightly, like gold under these lights.”

Grasping Dollmaker by the scruff of his suit jacket, Garfield yanked him off his stool and shoved the man onto his ass on the floor.

“She's not going anywhere with you, Barton,” Garfield said, moving to take the man's stool calmly, not at all worried about minding his back. He may be pushing 40 but he was fairly certain he could knock Barton Mathis out cold with just a single punch.

“Aw, jealous?” Mary Louise asked with a grin as Barton slunk away.

“He's a notorious deflesher, Mary Louise.” He replied ordering a soda from the bartender.

“Yeah, I know, but there's no harm in getting a few compliments.” She replied. “So? What's the plan?”

“The plan is I enjoy my soda, then we hit the sewers.”

Mary Louise was quiet for a moment, before saying, “sorry?”

“I only know two criminals who can help you get that orb thing you want. Ratcatcher and Magpie, Magpie is locked up currently, so...we hit the sewers.”

“Gross, ew, no!”

Garfield turned a calm, steady eye on her, not backing down.

Mary Louise didn't once falter. “Do you know how nice these shoes of mine are? Do you know that the sewers...are just...filled with nasty germs and stuff?”

He continued to stare at her evenly.

“And...no! I'm not going there. You bring him to me!”

He wasn't sure if it was the flame that was ignited from Dollmaker, or if he was nearing the end of his rope with patience for Baby Doll, but Garfield reached over, took a calm sip of his soda and then rolled his neck, working out the kinks in it. Maybe Baby Doll was right, it was easier for him to be the bad guy than it was for him to play nice, because as he slipped momentarily back into Firefly he felt a great weight leave his shoulders.

“Get me a matchbook,” he ordered the bartender calmly, even his voice falling into the lower register of Firefly.

When he looked back over at Mary Louise, Firefly instantly fell back into the dark hole Garfield kept him in when he spied the slight fear in her eyes, he knew she could see the change that had swept over him too.

“C-can we stop at my apartment so I can change?” She asked meekly.

“Of course,” he replied, somewhat ashamed that he had allowed the slip. Firefly should never come out again, he knew that, on the meds he knew that Firefly was meant to be kept in that hole he had gouged out for him, deep, deep down inside himself.

When the matchbook came, Mary Louise reached out with a slightly shaky hand and took it before he could, tucking it away in her sock.

They walked the streets of Gotham City side by side.

The night air was probably refreshing to most, but to him it was frigid and unbearably cold, he huddled in on himself, knowing full well he looked like a junkie after a hit, but not caring at all because he was too fucking cold to care.

“That was dark back there,” Mary Louise finally spoke, her old self back as she spoke clearly and a little obnoxiously.

“Yeah, sorry.” He said, considering it for a moment, before adding. “On top of pyromania I have an anger problem, who knew?”

They walked for a ways in silence once more, before she said, “they said I have body dysmorphic disorder.”

“Did they give you anything for it?”

Mary Louise was quiet, before shrugging. “Supposed to be on meds and therapy, but I can't afford it. Shit's expensive when you're trying to be law abiding, you know? Besides,” she added a little lighter in tone. “If we can get this orb, it will change me and I won't need the meds, because I'll be different looking. Mature. I'll look my age.”

Garfield studied her quickly, eyes on her face, reading it for sincerity. He didn't think she would ever be happy, but...it wasn't his place to say anything. If Baby Doll wanted to get some tits and an ass, maybe grow a few more inches in height in order to feel like the 30-year-old she was, who was he to question it?

“Now,” he began gravely as he lugged the manhole cover off with a crowbar they had bought at a hardware store nearby, “I shouldn't have to warn you about this, but...there will be rats down there.”

Mary Louise nodded. “I know. Figured with a dude named Ratcatcher we're gonna see some weird shit, but rats don't bother me as much as spiders do.”

Garfield studied the dark hole, he was fairly sure there would probably be a metric fuckton of spiders down there too, but instead he nodded and clapped her shoulder, “then you're in luck, it's too wet down there for spiders.”

Dressed in a yellow rainslicker and boots, and looking like she was ready to 'float' down there with the best of them, Mary Louise nodded and said, “you first, techie.”

Garfield turned on the small flashlight he had bought and began his descent into the putrid sewers beneath Gotham.

#Burn Baby Burn #Firefly #Baby Doll #Look guys this buddy comedy might become a thing so I'm gonna give it the treatment a real genuine fanfic deserves #Chapters and everything #I kind of want to make this about the 'losers' of the rogue gallery yanno?#So expect some real fucking losers

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