#Character: YORUICHI

[midnightactual]

She's just standing on one of your kitchen counters... menacingly. "Hey."

[master-muffinn]

Bleach: sitting on their lap in public headcanons

With Ichigo, Renji, Grimmjow and Yoruichi. x reader

Ichigo:

 🍓 I feel like Ichigo would be more fine with you sitting on his lap in a semi-public place, like at the park, library, waiting for the bus/train outside the city or if you are out in the evening together.

 🍓 If it’s too many people around it would be too much and he doesn't like the stares and the whispering!

 🍓 Of course he wouldn't accept it until you have been together for a couple of months at the very least. And you will most likely be the one starting it. Ichigo will be blushing quite a lot in the beginning but be more comfortable after every time. 

 🍓 He would prefer to not do it infront of his friends either, because they probably would make fun of him and that would make him even more embarrassed, but as we know, Ichigo wouldn't exactly let it slide either. 

“Renji, you are just jealous because you are still single!” 

“HUH?! I’M NOT!!” 

 🍓 However Ichigo prefers to be home alone with you and cuddle together without staring, judging eyes. 

Renji:

 🍍 This boy has been watching way too many series and movies by now. Taking inspiration from different romance shows and adding it to your relationship so that he can be more romantic and be the best boyfriend there is! 

 🍍 I can see him being the one who straight out asks you about it when you two are watching movies together and then regret it because it sounded so stupid! 

 🍍 If you accept it, Renji will be so nervous and awkward and be blushing the whole time. He’ll be wondering if you can hear his fast going heartbeat through his chest. ‘Why does it look so easy in the movies???’ If you start talking about the movie later he will have no idea what youre are talking about.

 🍍 Renji would also be more fine with semi-public places while being awkward and blushing most of the time even after doing it for months. He would rather have you on his lap in privacy and cuddle. Then you can have all his attention and no one would disturb you. ;) 

 🍍 If you were sitting on Renji's lap in a semi-public place and his friends would see you two like that, teasing would have a great effect on Renji at that moment.

“SHUT UP ICHIGO!! NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPTION!!” 

“Geez Renji, y/n will go deaf if you scream like that”

Grimmjow:

 😾 This boy is a little complicated. You sitting on his lap is both prideful and embarrassing. He wants you to sit on his lap in the public and show off his amazing s/o and that they are obviously taken. But at the same time he’ll want you all by himself ALONE with no prying eyes. 

 😾 It’s the same with Grimmjow, you’ll have to be the one to start sitting down on his lap first, after that he’ll be the one who will grab you the most. He’ll find your physical affection very comfortable and calming. 

😾 Romance and relationship in general is something he is lacking, which is something he gets to experience and learn more and more with you. In the beginning he probably wouldn't be too fine to be lovey dovey in public, then it would be embarrassing. But the longer you are together the more pride and love he takes in you and your relationship so later on you can basically sit on his lap whenever you want and wherever you want, unless he’s out and fighting or training. Grimmjow will be happy either way and he won't take peoples crap either!

Yoruichi:

🐾 Yoruichi is literally a cat. She has been sitting on your lap in her cat form long before you have been in a relationship. So of course it’s no big deal! 

🐾 It doesn't really matter when or where, as long as she gets your attention and affection, but don’t forget to let her sit in your arms too! Yoruichi loves both and people who staring doesn't affect her. 

“Y/n what we do is none of other people’s business, just ignore them okay?”

🐾 Yoruichi wouldn't mind sitting with you in front of her friends either. Kiskue and the others wouldn't judge. Everyone in that shop is so used to your relationship by now. 

🐾 But don’t forget that Yoruichi also has a lot of energy and likes to mess with people and prank them, so watch out! Like that time when she was sitting in Byakuya's garden with you in her lap and was making out with you in front of him just to get a reaction. Byakuya was not happy.

“You are a disgrace…Leave immediately!”

“What? Are you uncomfortable? Or just jealous, hmm?” 

“...Bankai, senbonzakura..”

Thank you for reading! If liked, please reblog! 💖 Have a good day!

Post made by @master-muffinn

[midnightactual]

"You could not live with your own failure. Where did that bring you? Back to me."

[midnightactual]

"Sorry about your finances."

[midnightactual]

The menagerie of words was somewhat confusing, though as it was rolled out, Yoruichi's mind seized on one term in particular, which triggered a memory of an obscure tome of Vegapunk's which she had once stumbled upon. She had almost thought it to be fantasy at the time, and would've dismissed it if not for its author, yet here was proof at last of its veracity.

Her Observation Haki would have been sufficient by itself to determine that one red spell launched at her wasn't fired in anger, but with the added benefit of the knowledge she suddenly recalled, she didn't react to it whatsoever.

What all was shown to her was interesting, but she could just kind of tell she had no plausible avenues to using any of these techniques. However these things were achieved was beyond her. Knowing that was quite freeing, actually; she didn't have to pay attention to anything besides tells to their pending employment.

"You're not from around here," she judged, knowing quite well that was likely an understatement, "so explaining would take longer than I really care to spend at the moment."

Yoruichi smiled again. "For now let's settle for saying only I can do what you saw." She shrugged while parting her arms and exposing her palms, making a fairly open gesture which suggested diplomacy and compromise. "I think it'd be fair to tell you if you first tell me where you're from and how you learned to do all that."

Friends with the Sun? That was an intriguingly vague comment, if you were to ask Zahra.

She was only too happy to answer Yoruichi's question, and within the span of about 17 seconds, she listed off -- and most of the time, displayed -- the kinds of magic she was familiar with. "Well, Yoruichi, there's evocation..." Her right hand started to glow with pink light... "...abjuration..." Without batting an eye, Shahd put her hands in front of herself, Zahra launched a bolt of brilliant red magic at her, which dissipated upon hitting an invisible barrier. "...conjuration..." In a puff of smoke, a basic wooden chair appeared behind Zahra, upon which she sat down. "...divination -- my personal favorite -- enchantment~..." No magic, but a flirtatious sink sent Yoruichi's way. "...illusion..." A smoky image of a pair of hands waving in a way that looked like they were casting a spell, then disappeared. "...uh, necromancy, but we don't like that one..." Again, no magic; instead, Fatin and Shahd's faces just contorted into expressions of mild disgust as they shook their heads, agreeing with Zahra. "...and transmutation!" Zahra stood up from the chair and, in a puff of pink smoke, Zahra was only three feet tall! Another poof, and she was back to her original size.

All this in the span of about 17 seconds.

"I must say," Zahra continued, "I haven't seen anyone use whatever technique you were just using before now; how did you manage it?"

[midnightactual]

"You're honestly not even qualified to be stepped on."

[rikan-oo]

Thinking about how both Shen Qingqius are cat-coded when their love interests are absolute dogs.

[midnightactual]

"Woah, hold your horses; I'm pretty sure you're only certified for Category C adventures."

[chibibytes-anime]

Yoruichi (@giri_giri0117) (u/Quirky_Ad_5420)

[midnightactual]

"When people ask, 'Who are you?!' they're really assuming a best-case scenario. 'What are you?!' is usually much more prudent and realistic, even only among humans."

[midnightactual]

"Nn... I swear, if you start talking about 'PRNDL'..."

[midnightactual]

Unable to even issue a greeting before Kisuke started prattling at her, Yoruichi's expression soured, but she nonetheless listened. When her device chirped for further attention, her scowl deepened yet she dutifully took a look. She did not turn her own camera on in reply. "Linjeanrie was right there; you're slipping," she finally observed, dry as the Atacama.

"Most of what we market is intended for wear below shihakushō, kimono, or yukata, and is meant for the wearer's benefit over anyone else's. I can't imagine the women of Soul Society being interested in denim for underwear any more than they would be hemp, and unless you've somehow been pushing The Dukes of Hazzard and Gilligan's Island on the Shinigami I don't see it being contemplated as alluring to others either. I don't think units would move, no matter how skillfully assembled."

Yoruichi left the last remark as some credit to Ayame so it didn't seem like she was just belittling the effort that'd obviously been made. "Maybe they'd be practical as humanitarian supplies in unorganized areas of Rukongai, since denim is rugged, low-maintenance, and easy to wash?" she offered. It was at least an idea, and she allowed for a response rather than just ending the call.

"Mm?" Hearing her enter the room, he looked up from his reading to see—

"ooOOhhhh..."

A moment was needed to take in the full effect, starting with those shapely legs. Front-fly low-rise denim with the belt loops intact; nice for grips at her hips, and my, but these did show some cheek. His eye swept upward to the tie-front bikini top that perfectly framed her bosom. A simple half-hitch? A single tug would do it—

He drew out his Aifōn. "I'd best start that photo shoot now before the entire ensemble lands on the floor.~" But as he spoke, he was struck by a sudden flash of inspiration. Cost of materials: negligible; old denim could be found in any thrift shop...

"Actually—would you be willing to make more? I believe I know someone else who might be interested," he grinned, thumbing the device, "as a business proposition."

He began speaking the moment he heard the call connect. "Yoruichi-san!~ I think you might find Ayame's latest design a thrilling addition to your collection at ESPRIT de CŒUR." Enabling video and speaker, he turned the phone so the camera captured his lovely model. "Denim lingerie, upcycled from old work jeans and overalls!" he exclaimed gleefully. "You could market it as..." he paused dramatically. "✨Lungarees!✨"

@midnightactual

[midnightactual]

"It's true... Kisuke really is just Philza Minecraft. Don't tell anyone—the secret can't get out."

[midnightactual]

@asagamifujiino asked:

"Klaatu, Barada, Nicto?" She is very confused right now

"You are assuredly the last person in the universe who might conceivably own a double-barreled breech-loading shotgun."

[midnightactual]

"C'mon, where you rebellious teens at?"

[midnightactual]

"Maybe 'Boobs Back Brumal'. It's catchier and that way we can stick it to the Better Business Bureau... 'Back to Booba Brumal'? Hrmm..."

Although she appeared to have completely forgotten about Karma, Yoruichi quickly pivoted back. "Anyway, what were you complaining about? A 'flat ass'? I've seen more behinds than a lifeguard at Bondi Beach, and you look like you should be fine. Even if you're petite, you've got thighs and boobs. What, you want more definition?"

What she say? Somethings canceled? Oh that’s cool. Uh-huh. Whatever you say pretty lady…