#Charlotte might have been outgrowing it

[fazcinatingblog]

Went to my brother's auction today to realise that my dream of buying a 2 bedroom apartment at an auction is probably dead

[starsallalight]

@anoseforrottenapples : Alison & Mary

Mary allowed Alison several long minutes to think, and to sort out her answer properly before she gave it. Such a question held its own weight, and a woman would be wise to give it some thought before blurting out a reply. After all, how a woman defined a ‘gentleman’ also said quite a good deal about herself and how she saw the world.

Finally, though, Alison provided her answer and seemed genuinely surprised at the words that slipped out of her mouth. As she expanded on the qualities of the man, perhaps unwittingly revealing her own partiality to the young soldier, Mary studied the younger woman keenly.

“That’s interesting.” She stated when Alison had finished. “You judge a true gentleman by his characteristics. Most would define a true gentleman by his holdings, and the material securities associated with marrying him.”

Mary knew that was how she would answer that question, for whatever that might say about her. While she had no inclinations to seek out a gentleman and seduce him, she would certainly quantify the term by the properties in the man’s holding, and how much money he had at his disposal.

“You’re more romantic then most, I suspect.” Mary added to her thought with a slight smile. “I was when I was your age, and marrying for the first time. But I’m afraid one outgrows romantic notions, and will be content to settle for some stability and a husband who keeps his eyes to himself.”

Mary had once dreamed of her own dashing knight, a man who would sweep her off her feet as happened in some of the stories. She thought she had found such a man in Thomas. Her soldier all too quickly met the fate of many in the army though, and Abraham was no dashing storybook hero. By the time he passed on from this life, Mary knew he was not even much of a husband… but she would keep those details to herself. She wanted her son to look on his father’s memory with fondness, not resentment or dislike.

She also did not want the full story of Abraham and herself becoming common knowledge in Sanditon. Mary preferred the respectable sympathy due to a widow, and had no stomach for the gossip and mock pity that such a tale would stir up among the women of this town. If her history became the matter of public scrutiny, she would have no future here at all.

"I did not always think in such a way." Alison admitted with a shameful and sheepish sigh. "I... I fear I have been rather foolish in my behavior this summer. I do not really know much anymore, where I used to be so certain."

Wringing her hands together, she licked her lips and peeled back up at the older woman from under her eyelashes. "Charlotte thought me a naive dreamer. And maybe we both were before we came here... I do not know. Things always seem so black and white in stories, but never in reality. Everyone detests a woman who seeks to better her standing. They call her a schemer or whatever other vile thing... But how is it fair? We are entirely dependent upon others to live. Is it so very wrong to want to be secure? To not have to worry about things? To find a relief in luxury?"

Everything was so jumbled now. Yes, she still feared for her family and her own future. She didn't want to face a life full of uncertainty like she'd always known. But, somehow, now that seemed more worthwhile than anything.

"My father is a farmer. He had twelve children, seven girls. My brothers, my sisters, and I have known struggle. Us older girls have had to go hunting to try and feed us all. Our last three harvests in a row have been bad, and things have only gotten worse. When I came to Sanditon, I was determined to find rich husbands for both myself and Charlotte. I could not bear the idea of either us continuing to live like that, especially when we have the little ones to consider. It is our job as the eldest daughters to try and marry well, is it not? For their sakes as much as our own. I thought Captain Carter could be that for me. I thought he loved me... But now I wonder if a simpler life, even one of difficulty like I have been raised in, may not be better for my heart and my soul. If it were with a man of Captain Fraser's quality... But then I think of my brothers and sisters, and that his heart belongs to someone else, and I... I do not know. Maybe Charlotte is right to try and make her own way, ignoring convention. She seems to really love her work as governess, especially since she bonded with Leonora and Augusta. Yes, she has her issues and her disagreements with Mr. Colbourne, but would that not be better than to be the wife of a scoundrel? Or to be trapped by what society claims a woman should be?"

Rubbing her forehead, Alison sighed. "How does one find a middle ground for happiness and duty? For ease from fear and keeping away complacency?"

[carriagelamp]

May 2020 Book Review - Short and Sweet

Man, my experience with quarantine has been bonkers -- on one hand going stir-crazy with nothing to do, but on the other hand I have officially been working during all of it and it has made my job a very stressful one and boy howdy is that ramping up for June! Brain fry is still my dear friend and companion, so this is a month of 

~short and sweet~ books, most of it kids lit, that take no brain power and are just a pleasant little treat for my brain. Reading is so much more fun when you’re willing to be compassionate to your own brain and what it can handle!

I Spy: A Book Of Picture Riddles

These books were one of the best things in an elementary school library, and honestly? Is still ridiculously fun. I don’t think you can outgrow I Spy books? So fun to look at, amazing pictures especially when you remember they’re made with physical objects that are actually photographed, satisfying rhymes, and a nice shift for your brain. It gave me something to think about that wasn’t covid-anxiety-related and something to look at that wasn’t a screen. Such a nice break.

Spy X: The Code // Spy X: Hide and Seek

The first two books of the Spy X series. My brother and I loved these as kids, and I dug them out to reread them now. Honestly, they’re still cool books. The story follows two children whose mother seems to have “disappeared”. They know she, like their father, works for a secretive “Company” that may or may not be connected to the military, but they don’t realize how sinister that might actually be until they get a mysterious package on their birthday. They slowly realize that their mom is truly involved in something sinister as they’re drawn into a world of espionage and it’s up to them to follow the clues and keep her secrets in order to bring her home safe. This book has lots of fun riddles, mysteries, and gadgets that are excellent for older elementary school readers (and for adults like me looking for a fun child-adventure romp).

The Elders Are Watching

An incredibly poignant illustrated poem done in the form of a picture book. While it’s appropriate for children, this is honestly pretty heavy hitting as an adult and is very worth the read. It’s a collaborative work between a Canadian Métis author Dave Bouchard and a West Coast First Nations artist Roy Henry Vickers. All the illustrations are his and they’re breath-taking. Seriously, I don’t know what else to say about this, it’s worth the read if you want that’s both short and still moving.

Animals of the Salish Sea

As long as we’re talking about the Canadian West Coast First Nations, I’ll add this little board book as well. It’s a cute book about Salish animals and what they represent and teach in that culture. It’s not long, but the Salish-style art is bright and fun, and so are the lessons.

Riding Academy: A Horse For Mary Beth

IS MARY BETH HORSE SHY??!?

I haven’t read a Horse Girl Book in probably decades and I as soon as I realized I was going to settle into a children’s lit reading spree I knew I needed to find one. There’s something so satisfying about books written about young girls becoming enamored with horses, they’re so earnest. And this book was more educational, horse-wise, than I would have expected! It follows Mary-Beth who boards at a new school. Originally she isn’t a part of the horse riding program, but she soon finds out all three of her roommates are and, so as not to feel like an outsider, she ends up claiming that she was just about to sign up for it. Even though she’s terrified of horses. It’s a simple, generic book, but very sweet, and all four roommates have a surprising amount of personality (especially Andie who is a complete shit-disturber and whom I adore)

Dolphin Diaries: Leaving the Shallows // Dolphin Diaries: Chasing The Dream

Another “young girl loves animals and has a Bond with them” series of books because I loved them as a kid and I still vibe with them now. They’re heart-warming y’all. Anyway, this is a series that one of those series that’s written by a million different authors who all share a pen name so the quality varies wildly. Chasing the Dream was honestly kinda garbage, but I enjoyed Leaving the Shallows. They follow Jody, whose parents travel the world studying and filming dolphins. Jody travels all over with her family and the crew of their research ship, learning about dolphins and doing her best to help protect them. I’d say a highlight about this series is that it’s aggressively pro conservation and environmental protection and is pretty educational about those topics, in a way that’s understandable and interesting to young readers. 

The Rainbow Fish // Dazzle The Dinosaur

Had a heated debate with someone re: the thematic underpinnings of The Rainbow Fish that had my head rolling. Let me tell you, an english degree doesn’t prepare you for that. Anyway, it made me go reread The Rainbow Fish (in order to cite my sources) and the lesser known Dazzle because I loved that book as a kid. Book Shiny Is Good sure was the mentality and I stand by it. They’re dang pretty. I am not open to reopening this debate so for the love of fucking everything please don’t message me about it.

The Moccasins

Another Canadian picture book, this time by a Ktunaxa First Nation author about an aboriginal boy who grows up in foster care. It’s a cute book and has a very sweet message, though it was a little underwhelming. I was fairly meh about the art, which is always a downer for me when it comes to picture books. (which is honestly too bad because I like this illustrator, she’s a Cree Métis artist who did My Heart Fills With Happiness and When We Were Alone which are both gorgeous??)

Bloom County: ‘Toons For Our Times

Another comic reread, except that this time it hadn’t been years since I last read it -- I regularly reread this series. We always had tons of comic anthologies at home growing up, and Bloom Country was one of my first exposures to political and social satire. It’s definitely dated at times, and frankly offensive at other times, but I still adore it and it can be incredibly on point, even forty years later. The art is also delightful, the characters are so off the wall and fun, and the constant underlining longing for nature and simplicity and kindness really resonates, especially now.

Calvin and Hobbes: Something Under The Bed Is Drooling // Yukon Ho!

More comics. Never the wrong time to read Calvin and Hobbes. Wholesome feel-good-ness.

Babe The Gallant Pig

I’ve always meant to red Babe and decided now was finally the time. It was delightful! Definitely has Charlotte’s Web vibes, except this time it’s about a piglet who ends up getting adopted by a sheep dog who is determined to teach her unexpected adopted son how to be a proper sheep dog, even if that sheep dog is more of a sheep pig. And Babe manages to blow everyone’s expectations out of the water by his unrelenting gentleness and compassion. So goddamn cute. Only thing that kills me is that they refer to the female dog, not incorrectly, as a “bitch” which makes it a conundrum about giving it to kids to read.

Bread And Jam For Frances

I’d forgotten all about the Frances the Badger books until now! I was so excited to see one again! These books just hit hard in the nostalgia. Very traditional of a children’s book, it feels similar to old-school Berenstain Bears. It has a simple, clear cut message for children that still holds true. It’s really nothing special (the story is pretty simple and the art is mostly duotone) unless you also have warm feelings form your childhood about this series.

Hugh Pine

A chapter book about an unusually large, unusually smart porcupine who realizes that if he wears a bright red hat he found, then drivers on the road are more likely to see him and less likely to hit him. So he teaches himself to stand on his hind legs and wave at the drivers, and is quickly mistaken as a small, old man. The other porcupines, not as smart as Hugh and very much in danger of the cars when they try to cross the road, soon form a committee and come to Hugh for help in keeping the rest of them safe. Absolutely ridiculous and Hugh is a miserable curmudgeon who wants to be left alone, so obviously I align with it.