#Christ this website’s deranged

[convoy914]

All you’re doing is proving my point, people. You’re better than this, and I mean that sincerely. Take a step back and recognize the middle ground. For your sake. Because I learned what this is the hard way. I’ve SEEN where that mentality leads to

[artbyblastweave]

My take on Wildbow’s prose is that it’s good. This assessment began life as the much more conditional, hesitantly advanced and semi-apologetic “Good given the absurd production circumstances under which the work was created,” and then finally evolved into just flat-out “good” somewhere midway through reading Ward. There is a degree to which I view this as inevitable, because Jesus Christ, imagine doing this much of anything every single day for twelve years running and not getting significantly better at it than when you started. Pale’s immense length was therefore palatable to me because it’s also basically the high point his technical skill; I fell off reading it purely because my personal torments and derangements overran the battlements in my senior year of undergrad, but there was nothing I found unpalatable in the text itself. I find his descriptions evocative, his character voices distinct, his imagery excellent, his turn of phrase frequently pretty nifty, and, most crucially, his ability to string lines of thought together in such a way that my attention is dragged along for the ride through the whole body of prose. And, admittedly, there’s almost certainly a glass-houses-and-stones element warding off more a serious critique of his prose on my part; I have had the thought, numerous times, “I wish I could write prose not as beautiful, but as efficacious and functional as that of Wildbow.” Because I can run in witty ironic little turn-of-phrase circles all day long on this website, but I’ve always been much, much harder-pressed to stitch those witticisms together into a cohesive narrative long enough to convey something Beautiful and True.

[luxeberries]

i expected some thirst posts for joe keery in spree bc yknow who doesnt love deranged men covered in blood but holy shit i didnt think there would be so many kurt x reader fics and i know this is the shipping website but jesus fucking christ

[tearlessrain]

I posted 15,019 times in 2022

That's 2,519 more posts than 2021!

785 posts created (5%)

14,234 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sauntervaguelydown

@distortionsoul

@the-cassquatch

@futzingbarton

@vampiraptor

I tagged 1,856 of my posts in 2022

#horseblogging - 34 posts

#reference - 17 posts

#khatte - 16 posts

#creatures - 13 posts

#long post - 10 posts

#tearless vs ts4 - 10 posts

#unreality - 9 posts

#jesus christ - 8 posts

#ask meme - 8 posts

#lumpy kiba - 8 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

most “protect the children” campaigns come with the implication that what’s best for children is 1950s white christian nuclear families and rigid adherence to the status quo, and having been a children I can definitively say that is very very incorrect

43,211 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

#4

the userbase when tumblr attempts literally any contemporary method to profit from us that has been highly effective on every other website:

the userbase when tumblr implements the most deranged and masochistic series of features imaginable immediately after covering our dashes in thousands of crabs:

46,714 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

#3

seriously if you step into any offline queer space for like two seconds you'll be staggered by the actual diversity of nonbinary people. I knew someone in college who was amab and balding and had a moustache and dressed like a dad and used she/her pronouns exclusively. I knew multiple people who you'd assume at first sight were cishet who used he/she/they. there are people you can't sort into amab and afab because it's literally impossible to tell because they've been playing 4D gender chess for 30 years.

like. none of it matters. you can make as many boxes and labels as you want, it's not gonna stop people from just being people.

56,064 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

#2

alpha bros will always pick lions and wolves to superimpose their "I'm so badass I need no one" memes on as if those aren't the two animals most famous for having a buddy system and excellent group cooperation.

116,846 notes - Posted October 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

listen people are starting to realize tumblr isn’t dead we all need to be as cringe as possible for the next few months, it’s vital to our survival

320,810 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[infamousmonkey-cat]

i just saw a post on my fyp about how queers shouldn't be enjoying seinfeld, a sitcom that has been defunct for 25 years, because of michael richards and jerry seinfeld being problematic. the deranged purity culture of this website. christ. let me live. me reblogging george costanza memes is not a real fucking problem get a GRIP. i hate this fucking place so much. i hate it

[nbsnc1]

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[vanquishedvaliant]

FYI the op of the lesbian business cards post is unfortunately a terf

christ. yeah. probably. shit sucks.

though honestly i mean i definitely appreciate the intent of these asks but even as a trans person who should conceivably care about this im just so completely exhausted of constantly being on guard and having to check every fucking post on this website 10x over or get messages like this

while i’m certainly invested in the politics im not sure i really overly care about tracing sources and widescale deplatforming on this dying website with a deranged and distorted set of queer politics if the post itself is not obviously harmful 

so thanks? FYI duly noted

but I wouldn’t mind if in the future you’d only alert me if the post I reblogged is an actual dogwhistle or smth, i just dont have the time to background check every person on this website to reblog simple jokes

[myassbrokethefall]

ghouli THOUGHTS as messily typed out while watching for the second time by: me

skip if you wish, there is nothing of substance here

this is one SWEETASS LOCATION and if they built the whole episode and the VA setting around it, fine by me

was William raised by those people who got arrested after making youtube videos of themselves doing shitty “pranks” to their children? because WHAT KIND OF “PRANK” IS THIS PAL

Remember when Gillian said she wouldn't come back to the show if they changed the themesong? What a weird fucking hill to die on

Scully: hypna-gogg-ia

I mean I get what Jim Wong is saying about how terrifying sleep paralysis is, but she was only frozen for like one second and then she gets up and it’s a regular dream

“dark figures are usually meant to be avoided” mulder kindly do not MANSPLAIN the RULES OF DARK FIGURES to me THANX

i wish i could see the apps on scully's ipad better. you know she plays a lot of neko atsume, and just purposely does not leave any food out but still checks it all the time to see that she has no cats visiting her and then leaves satisfied

Mulder: hypna-godge-ic. Is this a gif/jif situation?

oh my fucking jod we just got product-placed with a closeup of scully hooking into the ford's wifi i feel DIRTY I'M GOING TO TAKE A SHOWER BE RIGHT BACK

“followed since the airport”

Rental agent at airport: did you guys need to rent a car? 

Scully and Mulder: no thanks we'll just take ours, it's in the parking lot out back, we literally live 8 miles from here haha

seriously though THIS!!!! LOCATION!!!!!! 

mulder's jaded assessment of the monster gives me lyfe

sure, Frankenstein was afraid of fire in an early season 1 episode but then it was never fucking mentioned ever again. also I can’t believe MULDER OF ALL PEOPLE isn’t going to get nitpicky about Frankenstein being the DOCTOR

FRECKLES. btw can I just say, this 25-year-old show is now in super hi def here in the future and you can see every pore on Gillian and David’s faces, every thread on their clothes, and yet, they are still pancaking futilely over that mole. She should have just wiped it off before they rolled one day a la David deciding not to take off his wedding ring. Would they CGI it out?

“There's a lot of money to be made in scaring people” oh yes i'm sure jackson’s angelfire-looking emo blog is really raking in the ad dollarz

Mulder: why did you chase the dark figure?? don't you KNOW what the ACCEPTED PROTOCOL is with dark figures jesus christ SARAH

ok here is where I feel like it wouldn’t have hurt to hear more about how Van de Kamp is William's last name. alternatively, about it being that fishsticks empire

“oh my god mulder...i thought it when I heard the name but didn’t want to say it aloud...is it a coincidence or is this...that company that makes those fishsticks and had that super annoying commercial in the 90s”

plot twist: an FBI agent named Stan lives across the street from William and has ALMOST caught him shapeshifting 29,000 times but never actually quite has

aaaaand the van de kamps are dead oh well, no one will speak of them again in this episode or of the fishstick-making legacy they left behind

Mulder's hair looks boss in this episode

Mulder's look w/ emotional lip bite as they're zipping jackson into the bag is everything

hey DOD assholes does your crappy rental car have IN-CAR WIFI? LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY FORD WHERE ARE YOU GOING

don't you need the root of the hair to do DNA? scully don't you watch SVU

idk if this is chris carter derangement syndrome or what but it gives me a thrill when Scully says get a chance to know me “or your father” 😍😭

they just left the body bag open. guys please

also the body bag extreme closeup of the zipper slowly going down unfortunately reads as SEXY

mulder's protective skeptical face at the escaping body theory...so good

Endurance Drink

cut to: DOD agents frantically dumping Uncle Ben’s on the keyboard

i like how mulder starts pretending he can't hear skinner the moment his coffee is ready

csm 😑 why

why DID mulder want to meet out here, because skinner wouldn't come to his office for a dramatic slideshow? “this is where it all started...” “ACTUALLY this is where it ENDED” you could have done this inside a building you guys

i like...want to have sex with this gorgeously decrepit boat location, I love it so much

this psychiatrist doesn't seem all that concerned about the double murder that just happened

oh gillian please have a lozenge

“hey bob” mulder: *points to self* smooth

m&s just hanging all day in the coffee shop like on friends. remember the days when local law enforcement would give them an office to work out of? that gravy train is over apparently

“Fox doesn't exist in coffee shops” one day reading ghouli.net fanfic and scully is aaaaaall into coffee shop au

since when is muldo an expert on spatter patterns? are the cops just incompetent? PROFILING WONDERBOY

"oh babe...these look sick" doesn't that mean good? jackson get with the slang of today buddy

I can't believe he literally used the “it was a social experiment!” defense

“it started when I had my seizures” so does that mean he's only had the powers for a few months? and he got them and like...instantly decided to make an elaborate website to prank his two girlfriends that I guess he already had and had nothing to do with his powers, he was just into being a pickup artist before that? this is what comes of having youtube-obsessed parents who spend all their non-child-pranking time running their fishstick empire

he's good at kicking as well as mind pushing and picking up chicks

”Hey asian guy I saw at the gas station...are you Dr. Masao Matsumoto?” scully that is!!! racist

where did jackson get that SWEET RIDE...also couldn’t they put out an APB on a bright orange old-timey sedan?

love the american flags in the gas station “we are all definitely in america right now, otherwise WHY would we have these flags *nervous laughter*”

HEY SIR HEY WE NEED TO WATCH A VIDEO OF OURSELVES THAT WE JUST MADE THIS IS AN EMERGENCY FBI FBI

usually isn't there no sound on a security cam video? i don't care i'm glad there was 😭

perfect ending is perfect

[infinitehouseofbooks]

RELEASE DAY BLITZ - Chameleon

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to INFINITE HOUSE OF BOOKS by Bewitching Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

Chameleon

Zoe Kalo

Genre: YA Gothic/Multicultural

Date of Publication: February 15, 2017

Number of pages: 230

Word Count: 55,000

Cover Artist: Deranged Doctor Designs

Book Description:

An isolated convent, a supernatural presence, a dark secret…

17-year-old Paloma only wanted to hold a séance to contact her dead father. She never thought she would be kicked out of school and end up in an isolated convent. Now, all she wants is to be left alone. But slowly, she develops a bond with a group of girls: kind-hearted Maria, insolent Silvy, pathological liar Adelita, and their charismatic leader Rubia.

When, yet again, Paloma holds a séance in the hope of contacting her father, she awakens an entity that has been dormant for years. And then, the body count begins. Someone doesn’t want the secret out…

Are the ghost and Paloma’s suspicions real—or only part of her growing paranoia and delusions?

Buy now at Amazon

Excerpt:

I cannot clearly say how I had entered

the wood; I was so full of sleep just at

the point where I abandoned the true path.

–Dante Alighieri, Inferno 1. 11-12

Chapter 1

Puerto Rico, 1973

Oak trees dripping with Spanish moss embraced us from both sides, but not enough to shield us from the prison that would be my home for the next seven months. The high stone walls and neo-Gothic bell tower loomed over us as my stepfather drove his Mercedes through the spiked iron gates and into the sloping, curving driveway.

A spider of dread crawled up my back. Prison indeed.

I couldn’t believe it had come to this. The way things had blown out of proportion. I’d only wanted to contact my dead father. Ask his forgiveness.

            My mother reached for my hand from the front seat without turning around to look at me. I stared at her perfectly polished red nails and the glittery square cut emerald on her ring finger. Her fingers flicked, silently pleading for my attention, but I was frozen inside. Her hand retreated.

I stared at the convent, my eyes studying the pointed arched windows, the worn, age-blackened stones. The place looked haunted. Perfect for my state of mind. What was my mother thinking?

Something moved behind one of the windows. A face. For an instant my pulse raced at the sheer paleness of it, at the two dark holes that made up its eyes.

“What are you looking at?” Sara, my six-year-old half sister, asked.

I pointed. “A girl.”

She followed my line of vision. “Where?”

“There. High up. In the window.”

            She dipped her head so she could have a better look. “I don’t see anything.”

            I felt a shiver, but not from the cold. It’s white. It’s watching us.

            Then the car moved too close to the building, and the face vanished from view. 

            “Is this your new school, Paloma?” Sara asked.

            I nodded. Sara was the child, female version of my stepfather. Her bottomless dark eyes, framed by velvety lashes, stared at me with misery. “I don’t like it,” she whispered, grabbing my hand.

            “It’ll be okay,” I whispered back, and gave her hand a little squeeze.

            “You promise?”

            “I promise.”

            “Well, here we are,” Domenico said in his strong Castilian accent, stopping the car in front of the entrance. He climbed out and opened the door for my mother. Then he proceeded to take out my suitcases from the trunk.

            My mother was silent. She stepped out like a wooden mannequin, her eyes shimmery with unshed tears.

            I climbed out, followed by Sara, the gravel crunching under our shoes. The early morning air was cool and a blanket of mist still lingered—not surprising, since the convent was on the outskirts of El Yunque, the island’s rain forest. More Spanish moss hung from the oak trees and rippled in the breeze like long, shivering memories. I could smell the dew on the leaves and the rich perfume of moist earth, redolent of open graves.

            I glanced at the ominous clouds. “Beautiful morning.”

An ongoing distant hum resonated all around us. One, two beats passed, before it struck me: Waterfall.

Something within me shut down—or exploded, I couldn’t be sure.

I shut my eyes for a second, wiping out memories of chilled water searing my lungs.

            I repeated the eighth multiplication table in my head. This always helped.

“After you,” Domenico said, interrupting my thoughts. 

I wanted to loathe him. Tried to, anyway. I could see what my mother saw in him: a powerfully charismatic, handsome man with the infinite skill to make people do his bidding. My mother, with her small delicate features and petite frame, looked invisible beside him. A mere spectre. But that was just a façade. I knew better.

            The big oak door opened and a nun clad in black habit and a wimple came down the steps to greet us.

            Sara wrapped her arms around my waist. Her gesture both comforted me and heightened my anxiety. Nuns in habit made me think of great black birds. 

            “Bienvenidos,” the nun said. Like my stepfather, she also had a Castilian accent. “I’m Madre Estela and I’m second in charge to Madre Superiora. You must be Señor and Señora de Aznar.”

            They exchanged small talk. Madre Estela sounded polite enough, but she didn’t offer to shake hands with my parents, which I found strange. Maybe nuns weren’t allowed to shake hands. I wouldn’t be surprised. I noticed the wedding band on her ring finger. Married to God. Absurd.

            “You must be Paloma,” she said tonelessly. 

            “Yes,” I said. Wasn’t it obvious? I didn’t know what else to say.

            The cross on her chest caught my attention. It had a crucified Christ on it and I noticed the thorns cutting Christ’s forehead, the little drops of blood glistening on His fragile body.

            “Welcome to our school, Paloma.” Her critical gaze scrutinized my makeup, my tight jeans. “I’ve heard much about you.”

I didn’t miss the hint of cold disapproval in her voice. I wasn’t sure how much my parents had complained about my behavior, but considering I had been kicked out—well, actually, kindly asked to leave—from my previous school in the middle of October, it couldn’t be good.

            “Are you ready to resume your senior year of high school?” Stress on resume.

            “I can’t wait,” I said. There was no point in being nice—or pretending to be. That just wasn’t me. I felt miserable and couldn’t hide it. Besides, I could tell from our short exchange that she’d made up her mind not to like me long before meeting me, and I had the sinking feeling that no matter what I said or did, her opinion wouldn’t change. I had already been stamped in her Inquisition book, tagged a criminal. 

            Madre Estela’s stony eyes moved to Sara. My little sister’s arms clutched my waist even tighter. From the nun’s expression, I could tell she was wondering if I had infected Sara with whatever plague ailed me. She dismissed us and turned back to my mother and stepfather. “Madre Superiora is expecting you in her office.  Let’s not keep her waiting. Don’t concern yourselves with the suitcases. Someone will come for them shortly.”

            They thanked her and followed her up the steps.

            “I don’t want to go in,” Sara said.

“It’ll be okay,” I said. I glanced at the window. I wanted to see the pale face again. But there was nothing.

            A drop of rain hit my cheek and I wiped it off. Then I held Sara’s hand and together we walked up the steps and through the arched doorway.

I felt my throat closing up.

            Seven months.

Seven months wasn’t that long, was it? Besides, Thanksgiving break was just around the corner. Six weeks, to be exact. I had already marked my calendar. I couldn’t wait. I would go through the motions, no need to make friends that I’d never see again. When you get close to people, you end up getting hurt.

About the Author:

A certified bookworm and ailurophile, Zoe Kalo has always been obsessed with books and reading. Reading led to writing—compulsively. No surprise that at 16, she wrote her first novel, which her classmates read and passed around secretly. The pleasure of writing and sharing her fantasy worlds has stayed with her, so now she wants to pass her stories to you with no secrecy—but with lots of mystery. She lives amongst cats and books in Belgium, and is the author of the Cult of the Cat young adult fantasy series and the Retribution novella series for adults.

Sign up for her newsletter at www.ZoeKalo.com and receive her exclusive short story “Arkalla.”

Website and blog: www.ZoeKalo.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/zoekalowriter

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Zoe-Kalo-206262253053039

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14951190.Zoe_Kalo

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RELEASE DAY BLITZ – Chameleon was originally published on the Wordpress version of SHANNON MUIR'S INFINITE HOUSE OF BOOKS.