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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years

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Booz Allen ticketmastered America's public lands

Ticketmaster’s spectacular failure to competently sell tickets to Taylor Swift’s first concert tour in five years has revived scrutiny of the ticketing/venue/promotion/management monopoly created by Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation, especially the “junk fees” the company sucks out of fans’ pockets:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfPiqgLPro8

What’s a junk fee? It’s all the crap that Ticketmaster tacks onto the cost of your ticket, like a “convenience fee” for using a credit card. Once all these fees are assessed, 78% of the price of some tickets is just fees.

https://www.vulture.com/2022/10/biden-is-coming-for-high-ticketing-fees.html

Junk fees aren’t limited to Ticketmaster, they’re everywhere: “resort fees” at hotels, bag and seat-selection fees on airlines, $35 fees for bounced checks, and on and on. Wherever a company has pricing power — because they’re the only game in town, or because you’re desperate — they rip you off with fees:

https://www.yahoo.com/video/1-biden-welcomes-crackdown-junk-161329851.html

Take cable TV. The cable operators have divided up the USA like the Pope dividing up the New World, carefully demarcating each company’s exclusive territory and ensuring that cable companies never compete with one another. That’s why cable is such a dumpster-fire of junk fees — Comcast just jacked up its nonsense “broadcast fee” to $27/month:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2022/11/comcasts-sneaky-broadcast-tv-fee-hits-27-making-a-mockery-of-advertised-rates/

OK, fine — turn off the TV and get out there and touch grass! America’s system of national parks and public lands are the jewels in the country’s crown, a remnant of those long-ago days when government could and did do stuff for the American public, an art that (to hear conservatives tell) is now lost to the ages along with the secrets of the pyramids.

Just navigate to Recreation.gov, which consolidates permitting and entry for 13 federal agencies and…

::sad trombone::

…pay your junk fees.

Want to pay your $7 to hike the prized Coyote Buttes North at Arizona’s Vermilion Cliffs National Monument? Sure, just pay a $9 “lottery application fee.” Even by junk fee standards, this is a very junky fee — it’s not a fee for paying a fee, it’s a fee for the chance to pay a fee.

Only 4–10% of lottery entrants get a permit (Coyote Buttes is a very fragile ecosystem and entrance is severely limited), which means that Recreation.gov’s rake from this junk fee is about 1,000% of what it actually makes on hiking permits.

Well, at least that money is going to Coyote Buttes, right? Preserving the petroglyphs and the dinosaur tracks and whatnot?

Nope. The Bureau of Land Management gets the $7 entry fee from the 64 daily hikers who are lucky enough to visit Coyote Buttes. The $14,400 in lottery fees that the day’s hopeful hikers pay to Recreation.gov for a shot at a permit all go to a giant military contractor: Booz Allen.

I know. What. The. Actual. Fuck. On his BIG newsletter, Matt Stoller explains how a beltway bandit like Booz Allen became the Ticketmaster of America’s public lands. The deal started in 2017, when Booz got the contract to build Recreation.gov “at no cost to the federal government.”

https://mattstoller.substack.com/p/why-is-booz-allen-renting-us-back

Booz Allen didn’t promise to run a government website out of an abundance of patriotic zeal. Like all public private Partnership contractors, they wanted to figure out how to scoop of gigantic amounts of public money without any public accountability:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/01/the-palantir-will-see-you-now/#public-private-partnership

Booz Allen now gets to run America’s public lands like its own corporate fiefdom. At the outset of its deal, it was able to set its own prices for fees unilaterally — that is, it could simply announce that, say, everyone who wanted to visit Mount Whitney would pay a $6 fee (16,000 applicants, 5,300 of them successful, $100,000 in junk fees for Booz).

But then Thomas Kotab, an “avid hiker,” sued the BLM for the $2 junk fee tacked on top of the reservation system for Red Rock Canyon. The Federal Lands Recreation Enhancement Act (the law that allows federal agencies to charge for access to public lands) requires that agencies hold a notice-and-comment for each of these fees. The $2 fee didn’t go through this procedure.

Kotab won…sort of. The court upheld his challenge, requiring that Booz’s public lands junk fees go through public notice. But Booz didn’t refund the $2 it had illegally collected from the people it ripped off to visit Red Rock Canyon — and it figured out how to neuter the notice and comment system.

Here’s how that works: the federal agencies that Booz ticketmasters each have a Resource Advisory Council, which the agencies stack with their own cronies, who then rubber-stamp whatever the agency wants to do. RACs pretend to be accountable to the public, but boy is the pretense thin:

https://www.fs.usda.gov/Internet/FSE_DOCUMENTS/stelprdb5442009.pdf

So now, when Booz wants to tack a junk fee onto a public space, it gets the relevant agency to do a notice-and-comment for the fee, and the RAC files comments saying that this is a great idea, and the agency throws away all the public comments that say otherwise, and voila, Booz gets another junk fee.

All of this is incredibly frustrating, not just another example of corporate looting of the public’s purse — a huge barrier to our public lands. The idea that the military industrial complex has ticketmastered Teddy Roosevelt’s public parks should shock our consciences.

But there’s something we can do about this! The part of the Federal Lands Recreation Enhancement Act that authorizes agencies to assess fees runs out in Oct 2023, and when Congress renews it, they could add an amendment to block Booz’s junk fees.

Or, as Stoller notes, “Biden, through his anti-junk fee initiative could simply assert through the White House Competition Council to the 13 different agencies that they end Booz Allen’s practice of charging these kinds of fees.”

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/blog/2022/10/26/the-presidents-initiative-on-junk-fees-and-related-pricing-practices/

[Image ID: A stunning view of sunrise at Theodore Roosevelt National Park. In the foreground, a cigar-chomping, top-hatted ogre stands at a podium emblazoned with the Booz Allen logo, yanking on a lever made of a golden dollar-sign. He holds aloft an inverted National Park Service arrowhead logo, pinched disdainfully between his white-gloved thumb and forefinger. Rising up from behind a mountain on the left side of the frame is trustbuster-era editorial cartoon image of Roosevelt, swinging his 'Big Stick.']

#pluralistic

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aikoiya · 1 year

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LoZ: Wild - Beastiary Expansion

Canon Wild Animals:

Horse = Greater Hyrule.

- Giant Horse = Taobab Grasslands & Hateno Beach.

- White Horse = Safula Hill & Deep Akkala.

- Giant White Stallion = Inside Ibara Butte.

- Golden Horse = North Tabantha Snowfield.

- Stalhorse = Depths & Sanidin Park near Satori Mountain.

Donkey = Domestic. Greater Hyrule.

Sand Seal = (Odobenus roseremus) Gerudo Desert. Something interesting of note. Sand Seals are actually more akin to walruses &, like walruses, they can lose their tusks. The reason being that they grow continuously & they frequently outgrow their tusk caps. This results in the tusks loosening & falling out. Because of this, Erepinnipediculture suddenly becomes a major source of trade revolving around ivory production.

Bushy-Tailed Squirrel = Hyrule Field & Satori Mountain.

Woodland Boar = Hyrule Field & West Necluda.

- Red-Tusked Boar = Hyrule Ridge & Akkala Highlands.

Mountain Goat = East Necluda & Great Hyrule Forest.

- White Goat = Domestic. East Necluda & Hyrule Ridge.

Mountain Deer (Buck & Doe) = Lanayru, Eldin, & Hyrule Field.

Water Buffalo = Lanayru Wetlands, Hyrule Ridge, & Faron Jungle.

Hateno Cow = Domestic. Hateno Village & Lurelin Village.

Highland Sheep = Domestic. East Necluda & Akkala Highlands.

Grassland Fox = Hyrule Field, Hyrule Ridge, & Lanayru Great Spring.

- Snowcoat Fox = Hebra & Gerudo Highlands.

Maraudo Wolf = Hebra & Eldin.

- Wasteland Coyote = Gerudo Desert & Gerudo Canyon.

- Cold-Footed Wolf = Hebra & Gerudo Highlands.

Tabantha Moose = Hebra & Gerudo Highlands.

Dondon = Bronas Forest.

Honeyvore Bear = Hyrule Ridge & West Necluda.

- Grizzlemaw Bear = Hebra & Gerudo Highlands.

Hylian Retriever = Domestic. Greater Hyrule.

Blupee = Greater Hyrule, near cave entrances & in the Blupee Burrow.

- Bubblefrog = Greater Hyrule, in caves.

Common Sparrow = Hyrule Ridge & Lanayru Great Spring.

- Red Sparrow = Hebra & Hyrule Ridge.

- Blue Sparrow = Lanayru Great Spring & East Necluda.

- Rainbow Sparrow = Faron Grasslands & East Necluda.

- Sand Sparrow = Gerudo Desert.

- Golden Sparrow = Eldin Canyon & Great Sky Island.

Wood Pidgeon = Hyrule Field & Hyrule Ridge.

- Rainbow Pidgeon = Hyrule Ridge & Akkala Highlands.

- Hotfeather Pidgeon = Eldin Sky & Eldin Canyon.

- White Pidgeon = Hebra & Gerudo Highlands.

- Accented Pidgeon = Great Sky Island & East Gerudo Sky.

Mountain Crow = Great Hyrule Forest & Hyrule Ridge.

Bright-Crested Duck = Hyrule Ridge & Lanayru Wetlands.

Blue-Winged Heron = Great Sky Island, Lanayru Wetlands, & Faron.

- Pink Heron = Hyrule Field & Central Hyrule Sky.

Islander Hawk = Hyrule Ridge & Gerudo Canyon.

Seagull = Necluda Sea & Lanayru Sea.

- Cloud Seagull = Great Sky Island & North Necluda Sky.

Eldin Ostrich = Eldin.

- Forest Ostrich = Great Sky Island & South Lanayru Sky.

Cucco = Domestic. Greater Hyrule.

Animals that Should Be in the Wild Series:

Faron Dusk Monkeys (Technically TP) = Faron & Ordona. - Inspired by the Monkeys from Twilight Princess, but also Dusky Titi Monkeys. I really like those!

Elk (BotW: Second Wind Mod) = Central Hyrule.

Marriage Doves = Necluda & East Faron Coast. These lovely white birds with pink, heart-shaped beaks are born with only one wing each (males a right wing & females a left wing) & mate for life. It's only when they find their mate, always of the opposite wing, that the pair are finally able to fly. - Inspired by Jian Birds.

Mountain Crows (MC & MM) = The little fuckers that steal your rupees. Even though they are commonly depicted as being the familiars of evil witches, this is actually due to how they are associated with death. In reality, most animals refuse to associate with users of black magic due to its corruptive nature. In fact, Corvids tend to despise those who use black magic & will attack viciously & in groups. Crows typically only attack Links for their Rupees due to how shiny they are.

Ravens = Actually much more chill than Crows & not as likely to attack people for their shinies. If one were to compare Crows with muggers, then Ravens are more akin to pickpockets. Even though they are commonly depicted as being the familiars of evil witches, this is actually due to how they are associated with death. In reality, most animals are much more likely to attack users of black magic due to its corruptive nature. In fact, Corvids tend to despise those who use black magic & will attack viciously & in groups. Ravens generally don't physically attack people unless they've done something to specifically legitimately piss them off such as use black magic. Oddly slow to true anger & will mostly instead choose to play petty pranks on people who've angered them. Ravens typically actually have very little issue with Links unless they do something to stir their ire. They'll still steal from Link's, but they won't attack them.

Crown-Crested Swans = A type of swan that bears a crest of golden feathers upon its head that greatly resembles a crown from the side. The feathers of its wings & tail also turn sky blue at the tips. Can be either domestic or wild. The Royal Family used to raise them in the Castle Gardens. They mostly live in Central Hyrule, but you can still find a handful in Necluda & Lanayru. Though, you really only see wild ones out that far & it's best to just leave them be. Can be aggressive fuckers despite how pretty they are.

Loftwings (SS) = Domestic. Sky Islands. - Resembles a shoebill.

Remlits (SS) = Domestic. Sky Islands. The unevolved cousin to the Zonai.

Shroom-Snout Swine = Domestic. Greater Hyrule. Used to hunt for mushrooms, especially buried Hearty Truffles & Big Hearty Truffles. - Technically, you could call it a reference to the Pig Mask from MM.

Mystathi Pig = () These pigs are descended from the ancient War Boars of the Desert Gerudo. In order to survive the cold, they've developed a thick coat of curly hair resembling that of a sheep. Somehow, they have also managed to retain the rather threatening tusks from their larger, more battle-hardened ancestors. And though not quite as talented of a fungus-sniffer as their less hairy distant cousins, they remain very skilled at it. - Inspired by the Mangalitza Pig.

Bighorn Sheep = Domestic. Gerudo Region, both desert & highlands. Used for their milk & their wool which is good for both desert & snowy mountain climates depending on whether the wool is summer weight or winter weight. Highland-dwelling Bighorn Sheep have noticeably thicker coats.

War Boars (TP) = Gerudo Desert. These giant boars used to be used as war mounts by the Gerudo. Not nearly as quick as their horses, but definitely more powerful & durable. Not to mention dangerous with those tusks.

Dunerunner Ostriches = Gerudo Desert. Can be domesticated, but takes skill to do so. Faster on the sand than War Boars or Sand Seals & some can be even faster than horses, but they are also far more difficult to tame & ride than horses. They're also not suitable for Gerudo mounts & are thus more likely to be raised for their eggs. However, Hylians are the perfect size to ride one.

Rainbow Peacocks = Gerudo Oases, Gerudo Town, & Faron Jungle. Also called Oasis Peacocks.

Dusttail Foxes = Gerudo Desert. - Inspired by Fennec Foxes.

Lanayru Serpents = The waters of Lanayru & Necluda.

- Sand Vipers = Gerudo Desert. Very poisonous.

- Gerudo Cobras = Gerudo Desert. Very poisonous. It's hood is used as the symbol representative of the Gerudo as a whole.

- Royal Cobras = Gerudo Desert. An extremely poisonous snake. Heavily associated with Gerudo Royalty. The pattern on the back of the hood is different depending on whether it is male or female. Gerudo Kings by blood get the mark on the hood of male Royal Cobras tattooed onto their body. The same is said of Gerudo Queens by birth getting a tattoo of the female Royal Cobra's hood. Male Royal Cobras are referred to as kings & the females as queens.

Cobra Sharks = Lives in the Gerudo Desert, in flowing sand. Though, they're tenacious & vindictive motherhubbards, & if they really have it out for you, they'll jump onto the more solid sand & are even able to follow their prey quite a while before eventually losing traction. At that point, they are basically 'dead in the water' & will die anyway, so might as well make their deaths worth something. They have a type of enzyme in their gums that facilitates infection in those they bite in a similar way to venom, thus earning them their name. Due to living in sand, they have no eyes & instead, navigate mainly by scent & sound. Unlike most sandfish, this one needs to be lured to the surface & killed manually, best to use spears. The Gerudo refer to them as Kōbra Samàqen. - Resembles a Zebra Shark if they had stripes instead of spots. Note: Finning is illegal even in Hyrule & the law is enforced strictly. Also, please note that Shark Fin doesn't actually have any flavor. The reason its fins are used is so that no part of the shark is wasted. However, Shark Meat is delicious. Each shark gives 4-8 Shark Fins, 3-5 Shark Meat, 1-3 Shark Bones, & between 5 & as many as 10 Shark Teeth, but higher numbers have decreasing potentiality.

Roc = A massive-ass, fuck-off desert bird so large that its wings block out the sun & a beat from them causes gale force sand tornadoes. Its feathers are imbued with wind magic & were once used to make Roc Capes, which allowed the wearer to jump high, long distances, & even glide. Much like the Sīmurgh, can pick up & carry off full-grown Molduga. This makes it the natural predator of said Molduga. Acts as a sort of mini-boss much like Hinoxes & Lynels despite not being monsters. Tough, they do tend to cause issues for people by taking livestock.

Gerudàn Horses (OoT, BotW, & TotK) = Basically the Giant Horse, but more than one & these ones are specifically bred & raised by the Gerudo, which they use as calvary & in horseback archery. The only horses that can travel the desert as they are specifically trained to do so. The Gerudo also know how to forge special horseshoes that helps them distribute their weight, thus allowing them to travel more quickly over the sand. The only horses that can carry a full-grown Gerudo.

Goponga Alligator = Lanayru, mostly around the Lanayru Swamplands & Lanayru Great Spring areas.

- Faron Crocodile = Faron Jungle only.

Oxen Sharks = The Oxen Shark swims all along the Faron-Necludic Coast. Their population is strictly regulated. As such, they are sustainable enough to be eaten if a person only catches one. Faron Coastal residents will often catch one or two & have little parties where the featured ingredient is shark as they use as much of the animal as possible. The Sheikah refer to Oxen Sharks as Oushizame (牡牛ザメ, direct translation). Residents of Lurelin refer to them as Kauo Niuhi. - Note: Finning is illegal even in Hyrule & the law is enforced strictly. Also, please note that Shark Fin doesn't actually have any flavor. The reason its fins are used is so that no part of the shark is wasted. However, Shark Meat is delicious. Each shark gives 4-8 Shark Fins, 3-5 Shark Meat, 1-3 Shark Bones, & between 5 & as many as 10 Shark Teeth, but higher numbers have decreasing potentiality.

Ordon Goats (TP) = Both Wild & Domestic. Ordona & seasonally Gerudo. Unique in that they're much larger than other goats with gray-ish blue fur & horns that form a complete circle or ovoid atop their heads. So large, in fact, that the average Hylian can ride a fully-grown one. Their milk has a distinct taste that separates it from that of other goats. While they can also be found in the Gerudo Region during certain seasons, they mostly dwell in Ordona as that is where they are native. As such, the Gerudo know how to care for them, but not nearly to the same degree as Ordonians. - The Faron Grasslands being renamed Ordona here.

Flamingos = Faron, especially Lurelin.

Cats (TP & MC) = Domestic. Greater Hyrule. Why are there no cats?? Maybe a few of different kinds like Tabbies, Oranges, Calicos.

- Mountain Cats = Wild & dangerous. Lives on forested mountains all over Hyrule, including Central Hyrule, Necluda, Lanayru, & Akkala. - A mix of Bobcats & Mountain Lions.

- Mountain Tigers = Wild & dangerous. Lives in the Hebra Mountains. - Like a mix between a Mountain Lion & a White Bengal Tiger.

- Jungle Tigers = Wild & extremely dangerous. Ferocious. Lives in the Faron Jungle & will occasionally wander into the Faron East Coast. Caution: Extremely dangerous because water won't stop them as they actually quite enjoy swimming. One of the most dangerous predators in Hyrule that isn't a monster. Superseded by Lynels. At least, one on one. The 2 creatures have only been noted to meet once or twice as most Lynels prefer open areas while Jungle Tigers prefer densely wooded areas. The one known time they have been recorded to meet, it was a Red Lynel who had trespassed in the Faron East Coast. While the Lynel managed to fight off the solo Jungle Tiger, it later came back with its pride & they managed to kill the Lynel by luring it into uneven terrain & sneak attacking it before piling on top of him, though not without losing a few. It has thus been concluded that while not as dangerous alone as even a Red Lynel on their own, they have the advantage of being more cooperative than Lynels, who are solitary by nature. - Like a larger Bengal Tiger, but with saberteeth.

- Sand Cats = Domestic. Lives in the Gerudo Desert. Very, very small, but very, very deadly if provoked. Fantastic hunters & trackers. And extremely sassy. A bit smaller than the typical housecat. May share a common ancestor with Remlits. - Inspired by IRL Sand Cats, but spotted like cheetahs instead of striped & possessing long claws.

- Snow Cats = Domestic. Lives in the Gerudo Highlands. Very, very small, but very, very deadly if provoked. Fantastic hunters & trackers. And extremely sassy. Used to be Sand Cats until they migrated with their mistresses to live in the Highlands. May share a common ancestor with Remlits. - Inspired by Sand Cats, Snow Leopards, & Maine Coons. The coloration & patterning of Snow Leopards, the long, fluffy fur of Maine Coons, & the broad ears & size of Sand Cats. Also having very long claws.

- Dune Leopards = The wild cousin of the Sand Cat. From which the Sand Cats were domesticated from. - Imagine a spotted Sand Cat about the size of a Bobcat.

Highland Yaks = Domestic. Gerudo Highlands. Used for yak wool & yak milk.

Meadow Rabbits = Hyrule Field.

- Snowdrift Rabbits = Hebra & the Gerudo Highlands.

- Wasteland Hare = Gerudo Desert, Gerudo Canyon, & the Ordona Grasslands.

- Jackalope = Gerudo Desert, Gerudo Canyon, & the Ordona Grasslands. An extremely rare hare with antlers. Often mistaken for Blupees at night, so it isn't unusual to shoot them by accident only for the hunter to feel somewhat guilty when instead of some quick change, he finds the corpse of an antlered hare. It's considered a mixed bag of sorts as the feet are considered good luck, but the antlers are bad luck. As a result, people tend to view them as fae of sorts. Some people speculate that Jackalopes are actually male Wasteland Hares as no one has really seemed to catch a male hare before.

Forest Owls = Wooded areas. Nocturnal.

- Snow Owls = Wooded areas in Hebra. Nocturnal. Often mistaken for ghosts due to how silently they can fly, their ghostly white color, the tapetum lucidum in their eyes, & the fact that they're only seen at night.

Tabantha Oxen = Domestic. Tabantha Tundra. Provides Fresh Milk.

Lon Lon Cows (OoT & MC technically) = A bovine raised exclusively at Lon Lon Ranch. They have a mostly cream-colored coat, speckled sparingly with small black & peachy pink-colored splotches (more pink splotches than black ones) & even more sparingly with larger tan splotches. They also tend to have star-shaped patterns on their foreheads. - Inspired by Star Cows & Marbled Cows from A Wonderful Life.

Big-Horned Rhinoceros = Hebra Mountains & Gerudo Highlands. The fuck did they go???

Dolphins = Because cool. Not rapists of the sea here. Faron & Necluda Seas.

Unicorns = Because why not? Old forests of Greater Hyrule. Its horn gives it access to purifying & healing magic.

Pegasi = Because Pegasus Boots but no pegasi?? Sky Islands.

Hippocampi = Because need more aquatic animals. Faron & Necluda Seas.

- Horned Hippocampi = Has a narwhal-like horn on its forehead that it uses to channel magic & control the currents around it.

- Finned Hippocampi = Has back fins similar to that of a flying fish, allowing it to jump out of the water & glide a short distance.

Phoenix = Very Rare. Sky Islands & Eldin Region. Can be killed, but it's considered bad luck. When killed it bursts into flames & crumbles into ash before leaving behind a few drops. It's implied that the Pheonix isn't actually dead, rather restarting its life cycle. However, being forced to repeat said cycle when they don't need to is actually very frustrating & inconvenient, not to mention rude. In the beginning, the Phoenixes are corrupted by evil & are instead called Furnixes. After purifying their queen & helping her with a purifying ritual, the Phoenixes return to their original states & gift Link with rare drops whenever they see him. Or in the case of Link being in battle at the time, they will come to his aid.

- Phoenix Queen = The benevolent monarch of the Phoenixes. Very large & resembles the Fenghuang, having peacock-like traits. When Link meets her, she is known as the Furnix Queen & acts as a boss, however upon defeating her (specifically with the Master Sword, a Light Arrow, or some form of Light or Twilight Magic), she bursts into flames & her ashes fall upon the ground. If Link later returns to the place where he defeated her & the thing that dealt the final blow was either the Master Sword or some form of Light or Twilight Magic, then in the place of the Furnix Queen will be the Phoenix Queen, who will thank Link graciously for purifying her. She will then request that he aid her in a ritual that will purify all her kin. After which, all the Furnixes will change to Phoenixes.

Canon Wild Monsters:

Chuchu

- Fire Chuchu

- Ice Chuchu

- Electric Chuchu

Keese

- Fire Keese

- Ice Keese

- Electric Keese

Water Octorok

- Forest Octorok

- Rock Octorok

- Snow Octorok

- Treasure Octorok

- Mucktorok

Fire Wizzrobe

- Ice Wizzrobe

- Electric Wizzrobe

Meteo Wizzrobe

- Blizzrobe

- Thunder Wizzrobe

Like Like

- Fire Like

- Ice Like

- Shock Like

- Rock Like

- Sludge Like

Evermean

Aerocuda

Gibdo = Not actually a Gibdo. Merely a Gerudo corpse puppeted by Necromorths (the eggs of a Queen Necromothula) or a Necropillar. - New Classification: Necromorth Host.

- Moth Gibdo = Not a true Gibdo. Rather the corpse of a Gerudo that is being piloted by a Necromothula. - New Classification: Necromothula Host.

- Queen Gibdo = Not a true Gibdo. In actuality, she is the result of an Everlost Silkworm ingesting a Puffstool that had been the result of a corrupted Orphiocordyceps sinensis. As she was digesting it, she proceeded to go through chrysilization. It was only upon going inside that the digestion was completed & the fusion went underway. Once metamorphosis was complete, she came out as what we see in the game. - New Classification: Queen Necromothula.

Bokoblin

- Blue Bokoblin

- Black Bokoblin

- Silver Bokoblin

- Gold Bokoblin

- Stalkoblin

Boss Bokoblin

- Blue Boss Bokoblin

- Black Boss Bokoblin

- Silver Boss Bokoblin

- Gold Boss Bokoblin

Moblin

- Blue Moblin

- Black Moblin

- Silver Moblin

- Gold Moblin

- Stalmoblin

Lizalfos

- Blue Lizalfos

- Black Lizalfos

- Fire-Breath Lizalfos

- Ice-Breath Lizalfos

- Electric Lizalfos

- Silver Lizalfos

- Gold Lizalfos

- Stalizalfos

Horriblin

- Blue Horriblin

- Black Horriblin

- Silver Horriblin

- Gold Horriblin

Lynel

- Blue-Maned Lynel

- White-Maned Lynel

- Silver Lynel

- Gold Lynel

Stone Pebblit

- Igneous Pebblit

- Frost Pebblit

Stone Talus

- Luminous Stone Talus

- Rare Stone Talus

- Battle Talus

- Igneous Talus

- Frost Talus

Hinox

- Blue Hinox

- Black Hinox

- Stalnox

Molduga

Flame Gleeok

- Frost Gleeok

- Thunder Gleeok

- King Gleeok

- Golden King Gleeok

Little Frox

- Frox

- Obsidian Frox

- Blue-White Frox

Colgera

Moragia

Marbled Gohma

Monsters that Should Be in the Wild Series:

Puffstool (MC) = Microscopic mushroom enemies. Typically impervious to swordstrikes. However, using wind attacks to absolve them of their spores will render them stunned & vulnerable to attack.

- Corpsepillar Puffstool = A Ophiocordyceps sinensis (a.k.a. Zombiepillar Mushroom) that's been corrupted & turned into a monster. - My hc. I love the idea of this one!

Vulpos (MC Keaton) = Dashes at you & steals your shit. They may, in fact, be corrupted MM Keaton. Defeating them with Light/Twilight magic or weapons returns them to their natural state of Keatons, who may reward you for the favor.

Wolfos (OoT Wolfos with TP graphics) = Wolves corrupted by evil. Defeating them with Light/Twilight magic or weapons returns them to their natural state.

Wohsu (AoL) = Just wolf men.

Dark Keese (SS) = Undead Keese. Light/Twilight weaponry or magic is especially effective against them.

Cursed Bokoblin (SS) = Undead Bokoblin. Light/Twilight weaponry or magic is especially effective against them.

Metal Chuchu (MC) = Could make boomerangs viable.

- Rock Chuchu = Need a hammer to smash their helmets.

Stalmaster =

Elemental Hinoxes (HW: AoC) =

- Silver Hinox (BotW: Relics of the Past Mod) =

- Hinox King (BotW: Second Wind Mod) =

Elemental Lynels (HW: AoC) = Suddenly a thousand times scarier.

- Lunar Lynel (BotW: Second Wind Mod) = It's attacks do Twilight Damage.

Zola = Corrupted Zora. Just to help fill up the ocean. Otherwise, there's only Blue Lizalfos & Water Octoroks. Defeating them with Light/Twilight magic or weapons returns them to their natural state of being Zora.

Geozards = Just straight up evil Zora. Just to help fill up the ocean. Otherwise, there's only Blue Lizalfos & Water Octoroks. Can't be purified, because they are evil via their own decisions.

Deku Babas (TP & SS) =

- Manhandla = When a Deku bulb has been corrupted & allowed to grow to be too large. 1 mouth was irritating enough, so new try 4 that all spit fire!

Skulltulas (OoT & TP) = I hated them growing up.

Ropes (MC) = Snake monsters.

- Gold Ropes (MC) = Gold snake monsters. Much more durable!

Darknuts = A monster in armor. Just another challenging enemy to fight. Something with good ai & capable of strategy.

Silver Darknuts (MC) =

- Iron Knuckles = Acts as another challenging enemy to fight. Something with good ai. They are actually said to be Gerudo who have either been corrupted by dark magic or brainwashed or are just loyal to Ganondorf. As such, there is a moral weight behind fighting them. Those that are corrupted, when defeated by the Master Sword or some form of Light or Twilight magic, will then be released from their corruption. If not, then when Link returns to the area, he will find a ghost who will thank him for releasing her from her imprisonment even if it meant killing her. However, this will end up barring Link from any quests that he might've gotten from her had he purified her instead.

Ampilus (SS) = Inhabits the desert to the southwest of Hyrule. They are able to internally generate electricity. Their shells are able to disperse weight very well, which allows them to traverse quicksand without worry. As a result, desert inhabitants use their shells to make armor. They live to be very old.

Fokka =

Fotail =

Geldarm =

Dodongo =

Redeads (OoT & TP) = The screaming bastards that grab you. Different from Gibdos. Light/Twilight weaponry or magic is especially effective against them. Killing them with one releases the spirit trapped inside, leaving behind a Poe Soul.

ReDead Knight =

Ghini (MC) = A one-eyed, ghostly monster.

Poes (old game enemies) = It would've been interesting to actually have to fight some of the Poes rather than just pick them up like items. Maybe the lore could be that if a Poe Soul (the non-combative Poes in the canon Wild games) gathers too much negativity (On'nen) it rises to the surface & creates pseudo-flesh & it attacks you. Only hurt by Light/Twilight weapons such as Dazzlefruit, Diamonds, & Light Dragon Parts, the Master Sword, or by specially-forged Sheikah weaponry. When defeated, they drop a Poe Soul & Dark Clumps insinuating that the Dark Clumps are pieces of the pseudo-flesh that they made. However, much like in OoT & MM, there are certain Poes that can instead be talked down or soothed.

- Imp Poes (TP) = These ones are very specifically the Imp Poes from Twilight Princess. These Poes very specifically can't be soothed or reasoned with the way certain ordinary Poes can.

- Big Poes = A sort of Poe leader. Still functions much like an ordinary Poe, but much larger & much stronger.

- Icy Big Poe =

Furnix (SS) = A phoenix corrupted by evil. Once a benevolent creature, now an enemy. Can be purified by defeating it with Light/Twilight magic.

- Queen Furnix = Corrupted queen of the phoenixes. Must be vanquished by weapons wielding sacred or Light/Twilight magic or she will simply come back next Blood Moon.

Tektites (MC, OoT, & TP) = Jumpy fuckers.

Morths = Spiky guys with a singular eyeball. - Hc: They're Mothula eggs.

- Madderpillar (MC) = My hc? Child-staged Morths.

- Mothula (WW) = Giant moth monsters.

Necromorths (technically TotK) = The Morths of a Queen Necromothula. Parasitic in nature & are unable to survive without a host. - My hc.

- Necropillar (technically TotK) = When an Everlost Silkworm ingests a Corpsepillar Puffstool. Parasitic in nature & are unable to survive without a host. - My hc.

- Necromothula (technically TotK) = When a Necropillar has finished its metamorphosis process. Parasitic in nature & are unable to survive without a host. - My hc.

Bullbos (TP) = As mounts for Moblins & Boss Bokoblins. Basically, War Boars corrupted by evil to become monsters. Defeating them with Light/Twilight magic or weapons returns them to their natural state.

Kargarocs (TP & WW) = There really aren't that many sky enemies.

Helmaroc (WW) = A corrupted Roc.

Takkuri (MC & MM) = The little fuckers that steal your rupees. Corrupted crows & ravens.

Water Lizalfos = Just a Blue Lizalfos with a Water Element.

- Dark Lizalfos = Just Black Lizalfos with a Shadow Element.

- Twilit Lizalfos = Just a Silver Lizalfos with a Twilight Element.

- Aeralfos (HW) = Flying Lizalfos.

- Fiery Aeralfos (HW) = Flying Lizalfos, but also Death From Above.

- Dinolfos =

Peahats & Seahats = Another use for fan shields or korok fronds.

Bubbles (WW & BotW) = Maybe when you beat a Stal enemy, their skull has a chance to become a Bubble? It'd be interesting if there were different kinds based on the Stal enemy it came from & if the stronger Stal had stronger Bubbles. Like the Malice Skulls from BotW. Light/Twilight weaponry or magic is especially effective against them.

Wall Master & Floor Master = Not as strong as the Gloom Hands, but can be terrifying in the right setting. Especially if you don't see their shadow coming. Light/Twilight weaponry or magic is especially effective against them.

Platinum Enemies = Because a True Hero Mode would be cool.

Obsidian Talus (CoH & TotK: MM) =

Gleerok (MC) = A Gleeok that lives in lava. Has a shell of volcanic rock on its back.

- Demon King Gleeok (TotK: MM) =

Golden King Frox (TotK: MM) =

Other:

Ghosts = Not necessarily plot important ghosts either. Just ghosts of random people. Do a bit of old school stuff where you gotta help them be ready to move on. Maybe give Link an instrument so he can learn to play the Song of Healing.

Keatons (MM) = The Gentle Jesters & guardian spirits of the Sheikah. Known for asking riddles.

Minish (MC) = Crafty little helper elves of Hyrule. Can only be seen by children.

Yeti (TP) = They resemble Yeto & Yeta, but are an entire race of people. Isolationists that generally live in the deep mountains of Hebra. Generally quite friendly & hardy as a people, but tend to keep to themselves.

Twili (TP) = The descendants of a Sheikah faction that splintered off from the main tribe in an attempt to take over Hyrule much like the Yiga. However, unlike the Yiga, the Twili have become mostly peaceful since their banishment to the Twilight.

Mogmas (SS) = They were such fun characters. I kinda wish there'd been some female & kid Mogmas too. They'd have been neat as residents of the Depths with close ties to the Gorons. Like, they come across as being Italian mafia adjacent, but only in so much as the accent, the attitude, & family-oriented orginization. Sort of a "it takes a village" & "we take care of our own" type of mentality. Not in any way actually mafia though. They also love treasure & will risk life & limb for it, yet they quite easily give those same treasures away to those they consider friends. In this way, though they appear cowardly & greedy on the surface, they are actually brave & generous. It seems to be a cultural trait to give gifts, practically a love language.

Kikwi (SS) = Quite a shy, skittish race of people, but overall friendly & helpful.

Deku Scrubs (MM & MC) = A race of bush people. They are quite business-minded but tend to get a bit too enthusiastic regarding possible customers.

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For some other Hyrulean flora & fauna in the form of ingredients, go to my Wild Ingredients: Meat & By-Products List.

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LoZ My Fanfic Masterlist

LoZ Cultural Masterlist 1

#loz #botw #totk #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #tears of the kingdom #beastiary #compendium #hyrule #monsters #animals

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