#DEMONISMS: musings;;

[hypo-critic-art]

“Get out of my head!”

“You first.”

redbubble ▪︎ kofi

[comatosebunny09]

First time in a long time sex.

That yearning sex. That “I’ve pined for you for years” sex. That “I’ve missed you” sex.

Hot, heavy, sweaty. Ugly. Mouths open, panting. Raw. Unfettered. Breathless chuckles and goofy grins throughout. Intense eye contact. Groans slipping through parted, kiss-swollen lips.

Been at it for hours. No sense of time.

“Take me, take me, take me,” he praises like a mantra, the curl of his voice making your walls hiccup around him as he rubs your clit.

A hand wrapped around your throat. A thumb drawing your lip down, pushing into your mouth. Tongue jutting out to taste it.

Open-mouthed kisses, sighing each other’s names. Your nails embedding waning moons into his traps. His grip bruising, body mooring you to the bed.

He won’t let you get away—not this time. Not like you’d want to. Waited so long to feel him like this.

He pounds into you so good until you’re both soundless, yet you can’t look away. Skin slapping. The headboard smacking against the wall. Bed threatens to give way.

Like he can’t buy another one.

Tears stream down your face, and he furrows his brows. He leans down to pour every emotion he’s held back into your body with a kiss.

Your fingers twine together. Squeezing. He pants against your lips, hips stuttering. The world slides into a blissful shade of white. Toe-curling, mind-numbing, tongue-lolling sex.

I need that.

[these-lovely-monsters]

[NSFW | 18+]

Characters: m!demon x gn!reader

Content: public orgasm (in public but hidden)

⋆ ⋅ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋅ ● ⋅ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋅ ● ⋅ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋅ ● ⋅ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋅ ⋆

You're lounging in the park with your new demon boyfriend, enjoying the lovely afternoon weather and a nice picnic together. You're sitting with your back pressed up against a tree with your legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles. Your demon is lying in the grass next to you with his head in your lap.

As you absently play with his hair, you watch the other people in the park enjoying the beautiful day too. You don't realize it but your hand has drifted up to one of his horns and is gently stroking up and down the smooth surface.

When he inhales sharply and tenses beneath you, you look down at him. His eyes are squeezed shut with a furrowed brow and his hands are clenched into fists where they rest on his stomach. You're still stroking his horn as you ask him whats wrong. Finally, he manages to force out an embarrassed explanation between gritted teeth - his horns are apparently very sensitive and you're getting him extremely aroused with your touching.

Surprised, you pause your movements, glancing down at the now obvious bulge in his pants. For a moment, you consider stopping but then you peek back up at the people around you and realize that no one is paying attention. No one would notice if you teased your boyfriend using his horns either, right?

Grinning wickedly, you grip his horn tightly in your hand and stroke up and down the full length of it. He gasps at the action and his hips involuntarily twitch as he tries to stay still. When you reach out and run a finger along the other horn, still stroking the first one, a small groan slips from his mouth and he bites down on his lip to stifle it.

You continue your ministrations, teasing him mercilessly as his tail agitatedly flicks back and forth while he tries his hardest not to writhe in the grass. After several minutes, his movements grow jerky and you see his back arch slightly as his orgasm crashes into him. You keep touching him as a wet spot forms on the crotch of his pants until he finally sags into your lap again.

With a soft laugh you lean down to press a gentle kiss on his horn, which causes his hips to jerk once more. Swatting your shoulder in playful admonishment, he leans up and kisses you on the lips. Then he looks down and spots the mess he made and his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

Groaning, he tries to cover the wet spot with his hands but his pants are soaked. Fortunately, you packed a blanket for the picnic so you grab it for him and help him wrap it around his waist. The whole way home, he complains about how devious you are but you know he secretly loved it and you can't wait to do it again.

Tip Jar :)

[marshmallowwitharubberband]

When I first started reading MDZS, the first thing that caught me in a chokehold is the fact that it's not a regular mystery story, it's a multi-level mystery. You got the first level: finding out who is the owner of the hand. Looking for the pieces of the puzzle quite literally.

The second level: finding out that someone is manipulating everything behind the scenes, trying to get clues as to who it is and why are they doing it.

But there's also a third mystery that happens in the meta and involves the reader: discovering exactly HOW this funny and cocky young man we're following was so reviled that people were celebrating his death on literally the first sentence of the book. Because the novel is not in chronological order, it narrates the events in the present and whenever a new face or object shows up, we dive into a flashback explaining why it's important to our MC. So, we, as readers, are also having to pick up the puzzle pieces to find out the truth behind Wei Wuxian.

And, like...whoah, I *wish* I had that level of talent

[strzxrin]

Leo and Rowan with a female reader who is a virgin and wants to lose her virginity, but the boys keep manipulating her, saying that other guys won't treat her as well as they do, and she ends up trusting her childhood friends for this, so the task is given to the boys 😏

. . . she says she trusts me with her life !

in which . . . they told you to trust them for the most important moment in your life.

cw. fem!reader, overstimulation, being called a ‘good girl’, corruption (taking your virginity), dual penetration

pairings . lèo jaccoud x fem!reader x rowan collins

demon x reader , angel x reader , roommates x reader , childhood best friends x reader

notes . this was yummy to write. but on an honest note, good luck to yalls pussies 😇😇 this took me much longer to write tho.. my bad gang. writer's block is ass

masterlist . character wiki

“i don’t understand why you’re so adamant about wanting to lose your virginity, ma chérie” lèo sighs, shaking his head as he watches you cross your arms and in a way, throwing a bit of a tantrum about this — at least in his eyes he thinks about that. he glances at rowan who is just as tired of this as he was.

“especially to some random bloke you matched on that stupid dating app,” rowan continued as you groaned and hid your face for a moment. “you shouldn’t take your virginity for granted. leave it for someone special in your life” like them.

“plus, you never know, that man could just use you for your body and you probably wouldn’t be having the time of your life with it” lèo scoffs as you finally put your hands away from your face. 

“it’s not my fault that there’s no one who wants to date me. i want to experience the dating scene and i want to try it out, to see what’s so good about sex. can’t a girl dream?” you huffed out defensively as the two of them just looked at each other and then at you once more.

to be fair, they were the ones that are the reason why you aren’t dating anyone. they can’t help it! you are theirs since the moment the three of you met all those years ago. the two of them can’t let you go, and they for sure aren’t going to let some random guy who isn’t worth your time steal you away from them.

“if you’re so desperate, then let us do it,” lèo suggested, which made both yours and rowan’s eyes bulge out from the sockets. “i know for sure we can make you feel better than anyone could possibly do.” you were at a loss for words because frankly you didn’t think that he would even suggest that.

“what? what are you talking about, you guys don’t like me that way do you?” you asked as the both of them stayed silent before lèo spoke up once more “regardless if we like you or not, you were going to practically sell yourself to another guy, someone who you don’t even know, and won’t even have a connection with. at the very least, if you’re so desperate to lose your virginity, do it with people you know,”

rowan slowly started to nod his head in agreement with lèo, agreeing with the demon about this whole ordeal. though, he won’t outrightly say it. but still, the other makes a very good point.

“but won’t it be awkward if it’s with you guys?” you weren’t necessarily pushing the idea away — not because you were desperate to get your virginity taken so you settled for the only people there is, but because well, you always had a crush on both of them. you just wanted to gain some experience before you could even make a move so that at the very least, they won’t get disappointed by your lack of experience.

“i’d rather go through the pain of awkwardness than to know that you slept with a stranger on the internet” rowan finally says as lèo smiled and nodded at his words. you stood there awkwardly before sighing, finally giving into their whims.

“fine, but i’m going to smack you both if the sex isn’t good.”

but why is it that when you said that, the two of them had a certain glint in their eyes and almost a joyous look to have you agree on fucking them? well, you were about to know the reason why.

it was lèo who made the first move, gently pulling you from your standing position and down onto his lap as he made you look at him. “do you even know how to kiss, ma chérie?” he teased as you found yourself feeling flustered at the question. “hey now, it’s not my fault i have zero dating experience!” you say as the other chuckles softly.

to be fair, even both of them are virgins. they’ve been stuck to your side like glue, and refused to even fuck anyone else just because they don’t want to cheat on you. however it just felt like something in their bloodline on how they knew how to do these things. at least for lèo that is. rowan reads about it, and well, lèo teaches him about it too.

still, the demon can’t really help but smile at your words, humming “then i’ll teach you” he whispers, tilting your chin upwards so that you could actually look at him. you knew that he was always gorgeous but seeing him this close made your head spin a little bit. “open your mouth.. mhm, just like that, good girl” he whispers and you find yourself feeling flushed by the way he spoke to you.

he leaned in close to you and kissed you softly. he took it slowly guiding you through the process before he glided his tongue to your bottom lip and you opened your mouth slightly to let him enter. that’s when you feel his hand held onto your waist to pull you closer and keep you steady. the kiss was breathtaking and heady, and you couldn’t stop yourself from making noises to which he drank it in all the same way.

the kiss lasts for a minute, or maybe two? you can’t seem to tell with how light headed you felt. you gently gripped his shoulders, wanting to pull away to breathe and lèo reluctantly obliged. “you doing alright?” he asks, his breath a little hard as you nodded “uh.. yeah.. just needed a moment to breathe”

rowan, who was watching all of this happening, looked with a dazed expression before coming closer. your back now pressed against his body as he hummed. “while you take your breather, let me continue to make you feel good, alright?” he whispers into your ear as he leaned and kissed your neck ever so gently. it was a little ticklish at the start, but the way his lips moved and nibble ever so gently it made it obvious he was testing the waters and teasing all at once.

“r-rowan..” you whimpered as he hummed in response, littering your neck with kisses as his hands moved downwards, his hands cupping your breasts gently. “ah-! i.. i never realised your hands were big,” you commented shyly. his hands were large enough to cup your breasts entirely, and you hear a soft chuckle from the demon. “he really does have big hands, doesn’t he, ma chérie” 

you felt a little embarrassed since you’re practically sandwiched in between both of them, but all those thoughts left when the angel nibbled a rather sensitive part which made you squirm and moan at the same time. “ah~ so that’s where your sweet spot is,” lèo cooed before the hand that was on your chin made you look up at him “let me continue where i left off,” he whispers and he goes back to kissing you.

it wasn’t long before your hand had gripped onto his shirt to stabilise yourself while you were getting attacked with kisses. you feel rowan’s hands slipping underneath your shirt and pulled down your bra slightly so that he could actually feel you in his hands. his fingers felt cold and your nipples started to form stiff peaks which made the angel muse softly “excited already, aren’t you, darling?” he purred in your ears.

the one hand that was on your waist started to get a little impatient which made lèo pull away from the kiss to take off your shirt. with just one hand, he unclasped your bra and marveled at the sight of your breasts “well aren’t you just a pretty girl, hm?” you flush at his words before you felt his lips now going over to your breasts. rowan chuckles softly and lets go of one breast to tilt your chin upwards so that he could lean down and kiss you.

the demon began by kissing gently before his tongue swirled around your nipple, latching on it to make some marks that left you squirming on his lap and moaning into rowan’s lips. he alternates between the two breasts, making sure they get equal love and one of his hands went down to your skirt, lifting it up just gently so that he could play with your inner thigh. he could feel the heat and he shuddered a bit.

“are you wet already, ma amour?” he chuckled, his fingers teased their way to your panties, circling around your wet spot as you gripped tighter on his shirt. “you’re so cute, don’t you know?” he began to rub in slow gentle circles around your clothed nub and you squirmed even more.

rowan pulled away from the kiss and hummed “you like what he’s doing to you, sweetheart?” he asks as you nodded shyly. you let out a gasp when you felt your panties moved to the side and warm fingers slowly stroking up and down your slit. “l-lèo!” you whimpered out as the other let out a hum and watched you as he licked your nipple. “tell him what you want, sweetheart. use your words like a big girl,” rowan whispers as you feel your mind spin even more.

“p-please..”

“please what?”

“please.. please put it in–!” you gasp as you feel lèo’s fingers slipping into your slit. “shh.. relax, ( name ).. you’re tight right now” you nodded, trying to calm yourself down, but it felt really good. the demon’s fingers were bigger than yours, so even with two, you already felt more stretched compared to whenever you masturbated. 

“you’re squeezing onto my fingers, does it feel that good, hm?” you nodded before you felt some fingers at your lips too. you looked to see rowan smiling. “you shouldn’t forget me either” you parted your mouth and without thinking, you started to suck which made him let out a groan. “looks like your pretty lips do know other tricks,” rowan muses.

you felt another finger slip into your cunt and you moaned around rowan’s fingers. “shh, it’s okay.. you can take it. i know you can, princess” and that was when lèo decided to use his thumb to rub your clit. you squirmed, the sensation was overwhelming you and the demon hummed. the both of them continued to take it slowly with you, and it wasn’t long until lèo finally found your g-spot. 

your eyes rolled back and you tightened up around him again which made him hum “so that’s where your g-spot is,” he coos softly. and without a doubt, he changed the pace. his fingers began to hit your g-spot with every thrust and you began to drool around rowan’s fingers. it wasn’t long until you reached your orgasm, and lèo lets you ride it through before he continued.

“waitwaitwait–!” your words were muffled by rowan’s fingers but it could still be heard of course “we need to stretch you out, princess..” lèo murmured. but really, he just wanted to see you be a sobbing mess before he pushes his dick into you. you listened to his words, nodding, but with every thrust, you feel your mind slowly dumbing out at the stimulation.

was it three times already? you can’t tell. all you hear is both of their belts being taken off. you come out of your haze with a shudder as you felt your pussy juices being used as lube for both of their cocks. “wha.. i thought..”

“we both, want to take your virginity, sweetheart.” rowan says. your cunt has been loosening up with every orgasm you have, and you felt both of their tips rubbing against your entrance. “so, we have to share it, like always” the angel purred and your eyes widened. “that’s.. that’s not going to fit” you tried to reason with them.

“shh.. it’s fine.. we’ll make it fit. you trust us, don’t you, princess?” 

you were swayed, but you nodded and you felt them both slowly entering your poor weeping cunt. you let out a little scream at the pain in the beginning but they both stopped to make sure you were alright. and when you were, they started to move in sync. you felt too full, it was too big and your mind felt numb.

“let go, sweetheart” rowan grunts softly. “let us take care of you.. just like we always had.”

[nothatsmi]

You didn't look away.

I realize I haven't posted any SF drawing here yet, so here's the remedy for that-

I don't actively ship them btw. But I do think they have a close and very domestic bond. I like the idea of shared comfort between these two.

[wordswhisperinthedark]

Why is Netflix always keeping banger animated movies rather than us being able to see them on the big screen??

[kevinzhechair]

I was going to fully color this one but I got lazy lol, I just thought this would be funny

[mylols16]

i like to think demon summonings are like phone calls in the way that if the demon is busy or just doesn't wanna talk they can just hit ignore to add to that the idea that they cant ignore it and just pop up there whenever someone summons them is also funny like "why do u have a margarita in your hand" "i was at girls night so this better be important" or theyre just about to finish the finale of a show theyve been waiting ages for then suddenly theyre in jeff and friends basement staring at their terrified faces

[feketeribizli]

[kettledemon]

Drawing request :3333

Could you draw Sangcheng (Nhs x Jc) I would love to see my favs in your style is very Beautiful

Sure!! Have some sangcheng! I’m trying a new style for nie huaisang. Reject twink nie huaisang, embrace the nie stash.

[spookikookiboo]

Obsession

Is Bill a muse or obsession?

~Spooki🖤

[asexxxualerotica]

A Steamy Respite

Closed RP w/ @a-den-of-demons

Aaveraxx sighed with relief the moment the hot spring came into view. The half-dragon had been trudging through the wilderness for over a solid week now, his scales dull from sweat and grime. To make matters worse, he had been in rut the entire journey—it was a wonder he could even focus on his mission with how horny he’d get in the evenings. So a calm, relaxing dip in the bathhouse waters was definitely and exactly what he needed.

He barely even paused to pay, tossing the coins needed at the attendant, and practically ripping his clothes off once he was out of view. He tossed them equally as carelessly into an unclaimed basket to be washed, making his way right for the first bath he came across. He didn’t notice any signs it was occupied, any note that he should stop—it certainly wasn’t locked, so he let himself in.

He made it all of two steps before he froze, ice blue and fire amber eyes locked on the figure sitting in the water before him.

[a-wirty-opponent]

[theravenmuse]

Disaster puppy checklist:

- Jobless

- Long depression naps

- Living out of car

- Changes hair color in desperate bid to feel SOMETHING

- “What’s the point of it all?”

- Still too scared to tell Azi how he feels because that relationship is literally THE ONLY THING he has left in this world

[strzxrin]

What would the characters react when the reader got into an accident (car accident or any really lmao)?

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up !

synopsis. ┆  you got into an accident and they found out through an external source. what do they do?

tags/warnings. ┆  gn!reader, established relationships, hurt/no comfort.

characters. ┆  deimos ( mafia boss . demon character ) . zeidan ( actor . demon character ) . taeral ( lecturer . demon character ) . celaena ( model . demon character )

a/n. ┆ guys i love writing angst it's actually insane, please give me more angst or fluff requests, i'm begging at this point- *gets shot*

masterlist ┆ character wiki

ᯓᡣ𐭩 DEIMOS — he sat in the back of a candle-lit trattoria, half-listening to the low hum of conversation around him. a tumbler of untouched scotch sat beside his phone, glowing with unread messages.

he was waiting for your text.

you always sent one when you got home. just a simple “made it :)” or a blurry photo of your shoes kicked off. he didn’t need much. just the signal. the anchor.

he looked down. still nothing.

that’s when the call came. and he answered without thinking. “hello?”

the voice on the line spoke quickly, clinically. something about an accident. a driver who ran a light. an ambulance. the words icu and head trauma stood out like bullet holes in the air.

he didn’t speak. didn’t ask questions. didn’t hang up.

he simply stood, left a stack of bills on the table, and walked out into the night without a word.

ar the hospital, everything was too bright. too clean. he hated it instantly.

he walked with purpose, his coat still smelling of smoke and rain. the woman at the reception desk gave him a nervous glance. he recognized it. the look people give when they feel a quiet danger in the air.

“( name ),” he said flatly. “they were brought in tonight.”

her fingers hovered over the keyboard. “are you—”

“i’m here for them,” he said. not loudly. but it landed like a blade against the tile floor. he stood outside your room for a long time before going in.

he could hear the machines. the beeping. the hiss of oxygen. his heart thudded once. hard. like it was warning him.

and then he stepped inside.

there you were. laid out under fluorescent lights. pale, bruised. a tiny cut on your lip. your hand limp on the sheets.

deimos didn’t touch you.

he sat in the chair and just stared.

there was a sound inside him — a low roar. the kind that usually ended in broken bones and blood on concrete.

but not this time. he buried it. for you.

“i’ve put men in the ground for less than what happened to you,” he said quietly, staring at the iv in your arm. “but what good would that do now?”

his voice wavered.

“you’re the only person who ever made me try to be gentle.”

he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, head in his hands.

“i can’t burn the world down this time. not if it means i’m not there when you wake up.”

he looked up again. his eyes were glassy, but no tears fell. his pride wouldn’t allow it.

“you always said i needed to learn patience,” he murmured. “well... here i am. trying. for you.”

he finally reached out, his hand trembling as it took yours, ever so gently.

“i’ll sit here all night,” he whispered. “and when you open your eyes... i’ll pretend i didn’t almost lose my mind.”

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ZEIDAN — the backstage lights buzzed softly as zeidan peeled off his mic, grinning lazily at the crew. fans were still screaming his name outside the theater, flashes of cameras bouncing off alley walls like lightning.

he winked at the assistant who handed him water. “t llthem to scream a little louder next time,” he said with that ever-present smile, tossing his hair back. “i can’t hear my ego over the silence.”

but before she could reply, another assistant rushed in — pale, breathless, phone in hand.

“xieran.. you need to see this.”

he didn’t blink as he read the message.

( name ) was hit. icu. they’re not conscious.

his expression didn’t change. not immediately.

then his smile disappeared, utterly and completely, like it had never belonged to him in the first place.

he left without a word. no makeup wiped off, no press photos, no afterparty. no theatrics.

just quiet steps through the exit, down an alley still echoing with cheers that now sounded hollow.

he drove himself to the hospital. he always had drivers, but tonight — he needed to grip the wheel. he needed to be doing something with his hands other than shaking.

when he arrived, the nurses recognized him instantly.

“it’s xieran—!” but the glimmer in their voice died when they saw his face.

he wasn't smiling. not even a flicker.

“i’m here for ( name ),” he said. not flirtatious, not smooth, just direct. sharp. his tone was flat like glass before it shatters.

“are you family?” the nurse asked gently.

he stared her down, voice hushed. “i’m their lover.”

you looked so… still.

zeidan walked in like the room was a stage he wasn’t sure he wanted to stand on. no lights, no makeup, no lines.

just you. unmoving.

he sat beside you, fingers folding and unfolding in his lap. he didn’t touch you yet.

“i flirt with people to pass the time,” he said quietly. “to taste their moods. it’s easy. It’s cheap. and it keeps me from looking too long at the things i actually want.”

his voice cracked.

“i wanted you. still do.” he finally reached out, brushing his thumb along your hand, as if convincing himself you were real.

“when i saw you in the crowd that first night, i couldn’t sense anything about you. you were quiet, whole, unreadable. it drove me crazy.” a faint, broken laugh left him.

“i always thought lust was about desire. but now i know — it’s about need. they way your absence feels like hunger i can’t feed.” he exhaled shakily, gaze locked on you.

“if you wake up, i’ll stop playing. i’ll stop pretending. i’ll say everything i tried to mask with a smile.”

he leaned in close, whispering like a vow:

“just give me one more night. no lights. no cameras. just you and me. off-script.”

ᯓᡣ𐭩 TAERAL —  they were midway through a lecture on human behavioral patterns — pacing slowly, voice smooth but exact, eyes tracking the room like a hawk through glass.

"people rarely understand the sin of gluttony. they reduce it to consumption," they said, chalk brushing neatly across the board. "but the truth is; gluttony is about fixation. it’s not about pleasure. it’s about the inability to stop needing."

the classroom sat silent, soaking up their every word.

then their phone buzzed on the podium. once. twice. they glanced at it. a message preview blinked up from the screen:

they’ve been in a car crash. icu. not conscious.

taeral stared. they didn’t blink. didn’t react.

they placed the chalk on the podium gently, their tone still calm:

“class is dismissed. indefinitely.” no further explanation. no one stopped them as they walked out.

the air outside the lecture hall was thick with early evening heat. they moved like a shadow — calm, measured — but inside, their mind screamed.

they didn’t run to the hospital. taeral never ran. but every step was a battle between their intellect and something ancient in them that ached.

they had mastered restraint. they knew how to control themselves, their needs, their voice, even their smile.

but not this. not you.

when they arrived at the hospital, they gave your name with clinical clarity.

the nurse asked, “what’s your relation?”

taeral paused. not out of confusion — but because the truth felt too sharp to say out loud.

“i’m.. their lover.” they said softly. “that should count for something.”

the room was quiet. you were quieter.

they stepped in and stood beside your bed without a sound. they scanned the wires, the machines, the bruises.

details. they were always good with details. but this wasn’t a puzzle. this wasn’t something they could solve. it was just you. stil, broken, and not speaking.

they sat beside you, folding their coat across their lap. their voice was barely a whisper. “i thought i had time.” their fingers brushed yours lightly.

“i’ve spent so long.. studying people. picking them apart, judging, watching their sin manifest like rot under skin.” they exhaled. “but you.. your sin never made sense to me.”

taeral’s throat tightened. “you were the only variable i couldn’t categorize. and i kept..  wanting more. just a little more time, a little more conversation, a little more of you.” they leaned forward, resting their forehead lightly against your hand.

“i don’t think i’m capable of loving the way humans do. but i feel something for you that frightens even me. and i’ve never once known how to name it.” a pause. one that ached with everything unspoken.

“so.. please. come back. before this hunger turns into something i can’t carry.” their hand stayed in yours. and for the first time in a long while, taeral allowed themselves to hope without logic.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 CELAENA —  celaena was draped across a velvet chaise, sunlight slipping through sheer curtains like lazy fingers. a tabloid lay unread beside her. her phone vibrated on the coffee table, but she didn’t reach for it. Not at first.

she stared at the screen, watching it flash like a stubborn thought she didn’t want to entertain.

finallt, with a sigh like the start of a storm, she moved. slowly. elegantly.

she read the message once.

they were hit by a car. critical condition. icu.

the phone slid from her hand and hit the floor with a soft clatter. her world stayed quiet, but not peaceful.

celaena was the kind of woman people thought didn’t feel much. detached. languid. distant even when you were close enough to touch her skin.

she wasn’t lazy. she simply conserved energy, always observing. she let the world try to impress her, and mostly, it failed.

but you had never failed.

and now you were lying unconscious in a hospital bed somewhere, and for the first time in years, celaena moved with purpose.

the hospital lights were too harsh. her boots echoed as she walked through sterile hallways, drawing looks she didn’t acknowledge.

she didn't announce herself. she didn’t need to. her presence felt like fog drifting in through a locked window — slow, sudden, and impossible to stop.

at the front desk, she finally spoke. “i’m here to see ( name ).”

the nurse blinked. “and you are…?” her voice was like a stretch of silk being torn. soft, but final.

“i’m their lover, let me through”

she stood at the doorway, staring at your unconscious form.

pale. wounded. still.

still like her — but not in the way she liked.

she stepped into the room. every move she made seemed slow, reverent, heavy with unspoken dread.

“i should’ve texted you back,” she murmured. “but i didn’t want to say anything too fast. i thought i had time. we always think we do.”

she sank into the chair beside your bed and rested her chin in her hand, watching you like you were a painting too precious to touch.

“you know, everyone thinks i’m lazy,” she said softly, “but really… i’m waiting. always waiting to see who quits first. who gives up. who lets themselves rust.”

a pause. the machines beeped. “but you didn’t. you always tried. even when i gave you nothing but half-lidded eyes and silence.”

celaena reached for your hand, not dramatically, not desperately, but like she was choosing to show effort for the first time in a long, long while.

her voice softened to a whisper. “so i’m here now. and i’ll stay. i won’t drift away this time.”

her thumb brushed across your knuckles.

“and when you wake up… i’ll finally say the things i’ve been holding in between yawns and silences.” she leaned closer.

“don’t make me try without you. that’s too heavy a thing to carry alone.”