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slashingdisneypasta · 1 year

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Disney Recruiters (+Villains) x Reader || Drabbles

Plot: The Disney Villains have expressed interest in you! And, so, they send their recruiters after you.

Includes: Apple Poison (/ the Evil Queen), Dalmatia (/ Cruella De Vil), Farja (/ Jafar), Eight Foot Joe (/ Ursula), Jack Heart (/ the Queen of Hearts), ), Lady Hook (/ Captain Hook), and Malfie (/ Maleficent). My apologies, but Miss Hades and Veil are not included because I couldn’t find much on their personalities a nd Miss Scar is just… odd to me 😅

Side note- I have started exploring the world of Twisted Wonderland as well finally and boy, I got very confused about Divus Crewel! He and Dalmatia look exactly alike apart from some very subtle differences! Also this is my first time even attempting to write for the recruiters, I’ve never even fantasised with them, so wish me luck XD

Apple Poison and the Evil Queen:

You’re picking flowers in the middle of a field when he first appears- and when you say that he appeared, you’re really not exaggerating or anything, you literally never heard him walk up or anything! And it would be hard to walk silently through this field, there’s lots of pretty, autumnal leaves that should cause a crushing sound when stepped on no matter how graceful a person you are.

But he had just suddenly been there, with you; Not 10 feet away.

Being employed - or enslaved, - as a a handmaid for the Queen, you had seen the man before of course, going about castle for no particular reason. Other maids would ask you about him, because he was handsome and oh-so-cold towards everyone (Much like your Queen herself) and you are the Queens favourite so if she would confide in any servant off-hand, then it would be you. You had even poured him wine in the Queens chambers before, but you still had absolutely no clue what his purpose there was, or even his name. Truly, the man was a mystery.

This made other castle staff all the more curious - and hot, - about him, but you just left it be. You left a lot of things be in that castle, in fact. Odd visitors like this man, but also odd smells, smoke coming from the dungeon, and curious orders for things like mugwort and eye of newt. That’s why, you suppose, that Queen Grimhilde truly preferred you over the rest of the maids. You didn’t ask questions or wonder- you don’t care much what she gets up to. It’s not your business to pry into the personal lives of the royal family, or their… constituents.

Yes, that was a fine word for the man. No need to consider it further.

Suddenly a gloved hand appears in the window of your vision, between you and the flowers you were picking, and you follow the arm that is attached to it, up to the man. The constituent. Oh-

Taking it obediently, you let him guide you up to your feet and then watch him with wide eyes as he presses a quick kiss against your knuckles. “I’ve seen you around the castle, Ms/Sir.”

“Ms/Sir?? Oh, you don’t have to call me- “

“Then what shall I call you?” As he lets go of your hand, you gently lower it back to your side. He seems just as he’s always been, even now away from the castle; Sensible and to-the-point. You appreciate it.

Though, having someone so high up as to be having regular private meetings with Her Majesty as you your name, is a little bit flustering. “… Y/N… “

“You may refer to me as A.P, for now. I’ve been sent by the Queen.”

“I was just picking her flowers for dinner tonight.”

“Yes, and she appreciates it.” Oh he’s a bit of a charmer, huh? Her Majesty would never express gratitude for you having just done your job. This is all rather… odd. Can’t you return to your duties? “But our beauteous Queen is requesting both of our presences, imminently. Someone else can complete this, I promise.”

“I… suppose… “This is all totally irregular, and you’re slightly thrown off by it. His name is A.P?? For now?? What does that mean!?

Nevertheless, you give a nod and he begins to lead you out of the field and back to your carriage and his horse- and this time, he makes the proper amount of crunching noises. You won’t say that all of this is not entirely peculiar, but you will keep your thoughts to yourself at least until you see your Queen. She likely has a perfectly good explanation for sending this man to come and separate you from your duties.

Dalmatia and Cruella De Vil:

“… HEY!”

“JESUS- “

You actually fall out of your desk chair at this, onto the marble floor that Cruella just loves to snap her heels into every time she walks by every morning and ow- it fucking hurts!! Your chair, on the other hand, does not suffer the dramatic fall you did and instead just… rolls away 2 feet.

Figures.

As you get up, denying yourself the mercy of rubbing your sore ass because the last thing you need right now is to embarrass yourself further, you glance at the asshole who irrefutably caused this mess. He’s laughing his bloody ass off, and you scowl at him. “What was that for!?”

“I was just saying hey! You didn’t need to go and throw yourself to the floor like that!!”

“I didn’t throw myself to the- I was startled by you!!”

“-Oh, sure.” He doesn’t seem convinced, but he does sober up a fair bit and waive his hand at you like ‘whatever’. Rolling your eyes deeply, you turn grab the back of your chair and drag it back to you; Turning back to your computer just to save your work so it doesn’t disappear while you deal with this wierdo. God forbid you lose all your progress on this horrendously complicated spreadsheet… Cruella would murder you.

Like, really murder. Take off one of those heels and embed it in your skull.

When he doesn’t go to speak again, and explain his presence, you give a frustrated sigh and take the first step. “Who are you, anyway? And what did you need to scream at me for? Huh??”

For a moment he looks confused himself, and you’re about to call security because clearly the looney bin left the doors open today, but he comes to his senses just in time. “… OH. Well, I’m Dalmatia- Miss De Vil’s personal assistant. And I’ve been sent to recruit- uh, fetch you for her. Follow me!~ “

“Uh uh uh- ” You grab him and he turns his back on you, dragging him back around to face you by the back of a designer suit. “Hold on there- I’m Cruella De Vil’s personal assistant. I know I am, because otherwise there is no way that I would be missing my lunch break to do this damn excel spreadsheet from hell. So let me ask again; Who are you?”

“Iiii… “The man peters out, avoiding eye contact and fiddling with his fingers. “Well, my name is Dalmatia.”

You are in no mood for nonsense like this. Lunch was going to be pizza! “That’s great. What are you doing here?”

“To fetch you.”

“Wh- “

“For gods sake Y/N, just come into my office.” Cruella herself comes stalking out of her office at the end of the hall, looking non-too-happy at either of you, before turning on her heel and stepping back in. You let go of the back of the man’s suit collar like you were burnt, surprised that he’s legit. “And Dalmatia, how is it you usually do this? If you can’t even get my assistant into my office, I have some serious concerns… “

“Oh, I would’ve worn them down!~ “ You’re just collecting some folders and printed sheets and a USB in preparation for whatever Cruella might want in there, when Dalmatia links his arm through yours and yanks you off towards the intimidating glass door ahead somehow gracefully. He flashes you a wink and you roll your eyes.

What is going on??

Farja and Jafar:

Knock, Knock, Knock!

Slowly, you look up from the book you were struggling to get through, to the door to your chambers. Did someone just?... Oh, no way. Its just your imagination. Back to-

Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock!!

Oh! You didn’t imagine it! Whoops!- Setting your book aside quickly, you get up and race to the door before swinging it open and peaking out. Who could it be?

When your eyes land on her, a woman with long raven hair and a beautiful purple flower that is… glowing… you feel suddenly like you should have just pretended you weren’t home. She flashes a bright, kind smile though and that sets your nerves slightly more at ease. “Good afternoon! There’s a lovely sunset happening outside, have you seen??”

“Oh, um- No… “Who is this woman?? Why is she knocking on doors talking about the sun??? “I was just- “

“Oh that’s okay!~ Anyway, I’m Farja! It’s nice to meet you!~ Do you know Jafar?”

“I- I know of him, yes.” But you’re a servant and he sure as hell doesn’t mingle with the likes of servants- unless he’s terrorising them of course. You know men who have had to carry furniture here and there all day because of him and swear they saw him smile about it, and women who walk faster when they pass him alone in the halls because he’s been known to corner them.

He sounds like a bit of a scoundrel, really. What does this lady know of him?

She gathers your hand in hers, and gives another warm smile before turning to walk off down the hall and take you with her. “Wonderful! Come on, we have to go see him- “

“Wait!”

“What?”

“I… what’s going on??” It seems the right question to ask. Anything else would simply miss the big picture. Hopefully this covers everything, like, who is she?? Where did she come from?? What is her relation to the Sultan’s Vizier?? Why do you need to go see him with her??

What? What? Wha- Hey, was the flower in her hand always golden?

“Oh,” She lets out a giggle, and it’s a sound similar to that of bells, or the finest jewellery. “I apologise. You must be confused, I understand that. But I promise, he will make it all make sense. It will be okay- just come.”

This definitely feels like one of those ‘Don’t go’ sort of situations, so you stay behind the door. But she then reaches out and takes your hand in hers once again, this time much gentler, and tugs again and before you know it you’re letting Farja lead you down hallways- all the while, she natters on about this and that. The sunset and how magical it is, Jafar and how he’s going to make everything clear for you, and what she had for dinner the other night. She’s a little goofy and a little airheaded but theirs an odd sweetness to her, that just make you want to trust her.

You’re definitely not sure whether you should have let her take you, anxiety is biting away at you, but you can’t back out now.

Eight Foot Joe and Ursula:

You’re just tending to your coral bed, which is one of the best in the kingdom even if you do just say it yourself, and keeping a casual, yet watchful eye on the loiterer nearby. He’s been lingering for the past 3 hours, and you’ve never seen him around before, so he’d raised some red flags for you.

He hasn’t done anything bad yet, though, so you aren’t too concerned. Just cautious. And there’s nothing wrong with that- there are kids that live nearby!

Then you’re turning around to shoo away some sea horses from the area in your garden that you’ve recently sprayed with some weed killer- and your arm is grabbed!

You whip around to see the loiterer, and narrow your eyes. “Excuse you?- “

“Come on.” His tone, nor his grip, is particularly strong or alarming - in fact he sounds bored, - but ‘Come on’?- Where!? You’re not going anywhere with a perfect stranger! Is he out of his mind???

“Let go of my arm.” You tell him sternly, the sternest that you’ve ever sounded, and glare as hard as you possibly can at him; Hoping he’s nice and weak-willed.

He just gives a sigh, not too bothered, by thankfully let’s go. Those hands go in his pockets and his shoulders slump and you allow your own arm to return to its regular place hanging at your side, still glaring at him. “Fine, come on.”

Is he serious? “… Where??”

For a moment he doesn’t respond, and you have a chance to get a proper look at him so you can assess what you’re dealing with here. He’s an octopus creature and he’s dressed rather well, but the way he’s slumped causes the whole look to be totally thrown off like he takes no pride in his appearance. That’s strike number two.

Strike number one was, of course, the grabbing.

Strike number 3 is the fact that he has yet to explain himself, and just hovers there thinking, like the dumbest and most inept kidnapper ever.

“… I have to take you to Ursula.” He finally says, shifty eyes flickering to you and watching your reaction. He’s taken a gamble, saying that name, and he must be able to tell just looking at how your face is transforming that it was a bad one.

“The sea witch?! No way- “You snap, turning around and going for your front door- but he reaches forward and grabs your arm again. His grip is a little bit tighter this time, but isn’t painful by any means. You think you could still peel his fingers off if you need to. But instead of trying that, you whip around once again, this time holding up a fist, and go for his face with it.

He catches it almost lazily, and lowers your arm so he’s holding both your wrists in one hand, and that’s how you discover how strong his grip really is. It may not be tight, but its powerful. You could not peel his fingers off. Jaw dropping, you look from your fist to him to the street around you, searching for some help but everyone else is either inside of out for the day. Turning back to your attacker, you grit your teeth and glare harshly. “Let go.”

Giving a shrug, he turns around then and starts half leading you, half dragging you off away from your little street and your coral bed. “Cant. Ursula wants to talk to you.”

“Well give her a message for me!” You force out, struggling against his hand. “I don’t want any part in her dealings!- “

This time he sighs, and its rather annoyed, but he doesn’t look back at you and he doesn’t squeeze tighter. “Not that you have much choice in the matter, but… you might change your mind, when you hear her offer.”

Oh, really? “Why would I do that!?”

Another sigh wafts back from him, and it’s your only response as the two of you venture into the deeper, darker parts of the ocean.

Jack Heart and the Queen of Hearts:

One moment you’re peacefully reading under a big oak tree, the roses nearby chattering away quietly together, when a WHOOSH sound interrupts the quiet and a man with curly brown hair appears upside down- right in your face. Startled, you accidentally smack yourself in the nose with your book, pulling yourself away from him.

“Ow,” The guy winces, but doesn’t stop his grinning. “That looked like it hurt.”

You give a pout in return as you rub up and down the bridge of your nose. “It- it did!”

“My bad. Hey, look, I’ll get you a tart to make up for it!” He exclaims, swinging slightly back and forth with excitement from the branch his legs are curled around above your head. You take a glance up, to make sure that the branch he’s chosen is nice and sturdy, and isn’t about to fall on you because that would really hurt, before allowing curiosity to get the better of you.

“… what kind of tart?” A tart does sound rather nice right now-

“Cranberry! It’s the best. The queen swears by them!”

“Th- the queen!??” Even referring to her is startling. Is he one of her guards? He doesn’t look like a royal guards, you think as you assess him, but… you can never be too careful. You work as a kitchen maid in the palace, and you’ve seen quite enough beheadings to be quite wary of the possibility. Not that you really needed the visual proof that it would be nasty, but… It has made the fear worse.

Which is funny, because contrary-wise you might think that seeing so many beheadings would rather numb you to the fear of having your own head chopped off, for the bodies only twitch for a little while and then they die pretty quickly, but… no… it hasn’t.

“Yeah!” The man, enthusiastic as he seems to be, doesn’t notice your concern. In fact he takes your quietness is an opening to talk more. Meanwhile, you can’t help but wonder whether his blood is all rushing to his head, yet. “I work for her in the palace- like you! That’s why I’m here, actually. The Queen’s requesting an audience, with you!”

“Requesting?... “

“Yeah, well, demanding actually. Pot-Ay-Toe, Pot-Ah-Toe though, right?” Just as you’re worrying about what you could have possibly done to get on Her Majesties bad side, the guy flips off the tree branch and lands somehow gracefully down on his feet in front of you. It’s a spectacular trick, and you wonder how he pulled it off, staring up at him with eyes the size if tea plates. “Ta-Daa!~ C’mon,” He lowers a gloved hand down in front of your face for you to take, and gives you a wink. “We’ll pinch you your tart on the way!”

“Oh, I don’t think I should be… pinching her tarts… “You say hesitantly, inching your fingers into his palm delicately so he can pull you up next to him. God knows what you’ve done to anger her already, you aren’t about to make it worse by stealing her favourite snack inside her own castle!

Once he has dragged you - again, somehow gracefully, - to your feet, he brushes his thumb over your knuckles and carries them up to his mouth. Your cheeks are heating up and your jaw is dropping as he lands a kiss against them, too. Then looks up at you with the most intense eyes you’ve ever seen, and say… “I won’t let you get hurt.”

And all you can think is- Who is this guy???

Lady Hook and Captain Hook:

“Y/N.” A female voice calls your name; Muffled because of the water but spoken very clearly, and full of intent. You hear the sternness and debate emerging at all, but at receiving a few frustrated glances from various other sleeping mer-people who the woman above is interrupting.

Sighing, letting lose a few bubbles that fly up the surface and surely give away your position anyway, you let go of the seaweed pillow you were cuddling, and swim up to where the voice came from. “Yes?” You ask, resting your arms on the land before the woman’s boots, craning your neck to look up at the woman.

“I’m known as Lady Hook.” She says frankly, before giving a sigh and offering the fake hook-hand up as explanation for her name. You give a hum, and rest your elbows on the rocks near where she’s standing, lace your fingers together, and set your chin atop. Can this be over? You’re so sleepy… “I’m here to recruit you for my Captain.”

“Your Captain? Wow… “Giving a breathy chuckle, you tilt your head to the side as you look up at her; Eyes fully open finally. “I didn’t know you two-leggeds were like that~ “

Glaring, she furrows her brows and scrunches up her nose and the expression would almost be cute… if she didn’t give you the feeling that calling her that would get you a kick to the teeth. “Like what?”

“Oh, just… “Kinky. “Nothing… “

“Hm… “She gives you one more hard glare, before returning to her more neutral expression- which is, curiously, still rather angry. “Furthermore- I am to take you to him.”

“Look, I don’t really have any interest in joining Hook’s crew, so sorry you made the trip, but, its actually my nap time right now so I’ll just be goin- “

“It pays well.” Lady Hook interrupts, and your eyes flash at her. No. No, that’s not going to do.

“I don’t need gold. So- “

“No, not in gold. We discovered recently that you’re warring with the boy- which means we’re working toward the same thing. Together, in water and on land, we may have a better chance at vanquishing the brat.”

… Okay, that does get your attention. Turning back from the waters again, you tilt your head at her. “… You have a point, there.” Its common knowledge that the pirates hate Peter, Hook especially. And though the other mermaids may love the stupid kid… you sure don’t. There’s just something about him that has always left a bad taste in your mouth, and he’s just always flying around here… making a terrible racket and interrupting your peace… Your life would be perfect, without him around. So- “What kind of offer is Hook making?”

“Come with me, and find out.”

Hmmm, giving Lady Hook a scrupulous look, you push off of the rocks. “Show me the way, then~ “

Malfie and Maleficent:

One morning while you’re hanging up a particularly large bed sheet in the sun to dry, struggling a little bit with its size, you fail to notice the big, black raven land on the table you have your tea set on. It takes you a couple minutes, but as the raven watches you, you manage to get the damn sheet hung up as well as the rest of the laundry- before turning to your breakfast that had been cooling down while you worked.

You see the raven immediately, of course, perched a little too close to your porridge, and narrow your eyes… inching towards the table just a little bit at a time, hesitantly to waive your hand at it. “… Shoo.”

It doesn’t make a sound back, doesn’t even move. The thing just stares at you until you get as close as you dare, a couple steps, and stand there quite put-out at its gall. You are the human, aren’t you? It’s the woodland creature. Shouldn’t it… scatter? Huphing, you set your hands on your hips with a frown. This just wont do.

… Narrowing your eyes and thinning your lips, you attempt to vocally request it leaves your food alone- why you thought that speaking fairly to the bird would help you, you have no clue. But it wasn’t responding to traditional waiving and shooing, so why not try? “… excuse me? That’s my breakfast, sir- or ma’am? I’d really love it if you flew a bit away from it.”

At this, miraculously, the raven actually does lift up into the air with a flap of its wings, and you watch with wide eyes as it lands then on the chair beside the table- and promptly turns into a man.

Your jaw drops open and you breath in deeply to scream at the horrifying impossibility, that this aviary just transformed into a man, but he who is currently gazing into a black hand mirror at himself, oh-so-delicately raises a finger at you as if to shush you- without even glancing away from his reflection.

Promptly you shut your mouth, and frown again in an unamused, perturbed sort of way. Well, he’s a bit cheeky.

God- what are you thinking? You should be freaking out! This man was just a BIRD!-

You’re about to go ahead this time and scream at the top of your lungs, but just in time he actually looks away from the mirror an his soft gaze falls on you. “Please, don’t.”

Letting out the air again that you had in preparation to scream, you clench your fists in frustration and shake your head. “I think I have every right to scream!”

“Sure, of course you do- laying your lucky eyes on ME!” Oh- seriously?? “Aha, but please, I have business to attend to with you and it’ll be a lot easier for us both if you just keep your enthusiasm for later. Thank you.”

What- Looking around, you half wonder if this is a crazy trick of some kind. Loki? Are you around??

Who even is this man????

“Uh… you have… business, with me??” What kind of business would a bird-man have with you? Gods, so many questions.

“I do,” Giving a sweet smile that you don’t trust one bit, considering the mischievous nature of transformation magic and the almost sickly-sweet sound of his voice. While he pushes out of the hair you were going to have your long-forgotten-about breakfast in and stalks around you- long, long legs taking him in a circle around you swiftly. “See… “Oh, he’s gazing at his reflection again. “My Mistress thinks you have a quality she could use. And she would like for you to join forces with us. Of course, there’s more to it then that and… you’d have to learn to live near me without becoming too enamoured all the time... but there are perks. Protection, for one- “

“Wait wait wait,” You cut in, turning just in time to cut him off from another circle, setting your hands back on your hips and leaning towards him; A stern look on your face as you tilt your head to the side. “Who’s your mistress?”

“Umm… “The guy looks upwards, thoughtful and only a little bit startled that you’re acting so gutsy with him. “I think you’ll have to give me an answer, before I tell you that.”

“Well, what’s the question??”

“Will you join her?”

“I don’t even know who ‘she’ is!!” This whole thing is mad-

“My apologies sweetheart- “

“What’s your name, then??”

“Oh,” The man drops down gracefully to one knee at once, then, and takes your hand in his; Guiding it towards his lips while you just seethe with frustration above him. “I’m Malfie~ “

You wrench your hand quickly away from him before he can kiss it, and his eyes go wide- looking up at you with a sudden awe-struck wonder. And- what- Is that a blush on his face? Is he serious?? “Take me to your Mistress, Malfie. I think I’d rather conduct business with her, if I must conduct it at all.”

“As you wish, love… “

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