#Darkhold diaries counter

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 783

Wanda: “Did you know?-“

Agatha: “I already know all those things, because I just know. I’ve been around for so long, it’s hard to not just know everything”

Y/N: “Ohhh- so you already know that I snitched and told Wanda about the family of snakes you summoned and let live under the fridge?”

Agatha, tackling Y/N: “WHY DID YOU TELL HER?!”

Y/N: “You said you knew everything?!”

Wanda: “To be fair Agatha, it wasn’t hard to figure out. I went to get the frozen beans and they hissed at me”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 782

Agatha: “You know-“

Wanda: “-but you don’t know! You only talk and talk but never listen!”

Agatha:

Ghost of Vision:

Wanda: “I’m sorry, I just have a lot of feelings sometimes”

Agatha: “No, no, go head. I was just about to torture you some more anyways - though you should really be more cognizant of interrupting people”

Wanda: “I’m so sorry, can we try verbally sparring again?”

Agatha: “Let’s take it from the top!”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 757

Natasha: “You’re a morosexual, just accept it!”

Wanda: “A what?”

Natasha: “A morosexual - it means you’re only attracted to morons”

Wanda: “I am not!”

Natasha: “Really?” *points to Y/N and Agatha*

Agatha and Y/N: *trying to slide down the banister of a three story spiral staircase*

Y/N: “If Anna did it in the opening song of Frozen, then SO CAN I” *slips off and cascades down an entire story*

Agatha: “HAHAHA” *slips and falls on top of them* “OOF”

Natasha to Wanda: “You’re doing a terrible job beating the allegations”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 629

****Spoiler warning!! Leaks!!!****

Images of Agatha from the upcoming show Agatha: Darkhold Diaries have been leaked:

Credit to @ScarletWitchUpd and @AgathaHNews on Twitter for these images

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 736

Agatha: *passed out on the couch*

Y/N: “Aww, she looks so cute when she’s asleep!”

Wanda: “Cute? She sleeps like a medieval peasant anticipating assassination”

Y/N: “Is it the knife?”

Wanda: “It’s the knife.”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 714

Y/N: “I wish I was there to have watched you duel, it seemed like such a dramatic affair”

Wanda: “I promise you, it’s better that you missed it. It was emotional for all”

Agatha: “…give me a minute”

Agatha: *bursts in wearing Wanda’s scarlet witch costume* “I’m not a witch. I don’t cast spells. No one taught me magic!”

Wanda: *deep exhale*

Agatha: “I said your line!! We’re doing a scene here Wanda! You’re supposed to say, as me: “Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme-“

Wanda: *glares*

Agatha: “Oh what, like I’m supposed to play me and you’re supposed to play you? Boring! Plus - even if your pants are a wee bit too long, your costume fits!”

Agatha: “Now Y/N, hand me the toaster so it can be the stand in for Vision in the finale before the hex dissolves”

Wanda: *tackles her*

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 748

Wanda: *visibly upset*

Y/N: “Awww look! She’s doing her signature angry nose scrunch!”

Wanda: “Don’t prod at me right now, or else it’s your funeral”

Agatha: “It’s so hard to when you make such a cute face!!” *boops nose*

Wanda: “THAT’S IT” *body slams Agatha*

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 731

Y/N: “I made you both some tea!”

Wanda: “Thank you!”

Agatha: “Appreciate it hon!”

Y/N: *happily leaves*

Agatha: *dumps both cups in a plant”

Wanda: “What are you doing?”

Agatha: “Saving your life - and your stomach - see?”

Plant: *withers and dies*

Wanda: “Why don’t you tell them that the tea is so bad it could be classified as a biological weapon?”

Agatha: “I will NOT be the one to crush their dreams. I may be evil, but I’m not a monster”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 739

Tommy: “Hey mom?”

Wanda: “Yeah, what’s up?”

Billy: “We can’t find the new action figures you got us”

Wanda: “Really? Do you think you misplaced them? They have to be around here somewhere - I mean - it’s not like they grew legs and walked away!”

*meanwhile*

Agatha, with several figurines: “DIE DIE DIE I WRESTLE YOU WITH MY SUPREME POWER*

Y/N, also holding a pair: “I’m gonna make them kiss”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to the Darkhold Diaries: Day 584

Agatha arguing with Y/N: “-What next? Emotional vulnerability?? What else do you expect of me yet I have none to give?”

Wanda: “Woah, Woah! What’s going on here!

Y/N: “Agatha’s- she’s- she’s”

Agatha: “Aww can’t spit it out, can you? Can’t use your big girl words?”

Y/N: “AGATHA’S BEING A BITCH”

*shocked silence*

Wanda: “…damn Agatha…to be honest you kinda had that coming though”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 699

Wanda: “When I first joined the Avengers, I kept having these really bad stomach aches-”

Y/N: “What was it? The change to American cuisine?”

Agatha: “The physical exhaustion of combat?”

Wanda: “-but then I went to the doctor and plot twist!? Anxiety”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 756

Agatha: *gardening in the backyard* “My irises are about to start blooming!”

Y/N: “They’re looking great, you’ve really been on-top of weeding this spring!”

Agatha: “Not to point fingers, but I’ve always been a talented gardener. In Westview, my garden looked better than the toaster ever made his…”

Wanda: *sprays her with the hose*

Agatha: “AHHH WHY!?”

Wanda: “Don’t call him a toaster”

Agatha: “Why? The microwave is gone!”

Wanda: “BAD AGATHA” *sprays again*

Agatha: “I’M NOT A CAT”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 743

Wanda: “Is everyone ready for any potential combat?”

Agatha: “Tomes, check. Dead mother’s cameo? Check. Granola? Check.”

Y/N: “Wait - wait! What abominations are you two wearing on your feet?”

Wanda: “Heeled boots?”

Agatha: “We’ve quite literally never worn anything else.”

Y/N: “You’re going to twist an ankle! Or, or, break a toe!” *rummages through the closet*

Y/N, throwing shoes to Wanda: “You get my frozen themed chucks”

Y/N, chucking them at Agatha: “And you get my Pokemon crocs”

Wanda: “Not to complain, the sentiment is so sweet!…but these don’t really fit our menacing look-“

Agatha: “Let me just rip the bandaid off. Your nerdy little shoes? Sucking up our villainous bandwidth”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 707

Agatha: “What’s cooking, good-looking?”

Wanda: *blushing profusely* “I- I- um hehe”

Y/N: “Not the eggs you put on the stove”

Agatha: “WHAT”

Y/N: “You put eggs on the stove, right? Well small problem, you have to turn ON the stove to cook something”

Agatha: *smirks* “That’s the first time I’ve ever had trouble turning something o-“

Wanda and Y/N: “AGATHA”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Darkhold Diaries: Day 638

Wanda: “Y/N, is that new?” *points to the heart locket they’re wearing*

Y/N: “Oh no, I’ve had it for a while! I just haven’t worn it recently”

Agatha: “Does it open?”

Y/N: “Yeah?”

Agatha: “So who’s in it? Wanda or I?

Wanda: “Agatha! Don’t put them up to such scrutiny like that!”

Agatha: “Fine.” *turns away* “I NEED TO KNOW” pounces on Y/N and yanks the locket*

Wanda: “So who’s in it?!”

Agatha, opening it: “The favorite is…Natasha?”

Y/N: “Oh no. Please be calm and civil about it.”

Wanda: “Oh course! I will calmly and civilly blast Natasha’s ass”

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha: Day 770

Agatha: “And what do you have to say for yourself after attempting to kidnap and mind control ANOTHER town?!”

Wanda: “-I needed enrichment time?”

Y/N: “THEN YOU GO TO THE LIBRARY OR AQUARIUM, NOT ADD ANOTHER LINE TO YOUR VILLAIN RESUME!”

Wanda: “To be fair, it was a smaller town.”