#Dating a Non Believer

[public-trans-it]

i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.

clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.

and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.

but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are

Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.

This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.

But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.

Detransition.

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I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.

My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:

Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.

It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!

I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.

"Gender is an ongoing process"

Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!

And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.

So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.

So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

[tokensonsaturn]

[marblerose-rue]

all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours, i'll show you mine

[vilevampire]

I've never received so much psychic damage from reading something in a fic as I have today reading a paragraph referring to f1t as p4c's "best friend and most trusted companion" with no mention to m1ke at all

[twinprime]

the hatred of bisexuals is so insane.

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

So ungodly funny to me when normal MacGyver fanblogs not only like my Murdoc selfship stuff but REBLOG IT and not only that but FOLLOW ME TOO?? Like girl (gender neutral), what are you doing here??/nm/lh

[cowboy-robooty]

okay pls... somebody... tell me what the song sil vous president (pmarusama) is about. because. LOOK IM PUREHEARTED I DONT UNDERSTAND THESE LYRICS BECAUSE I THOUGHT ITS LIKE A YANDERE PUSHY ENTITLED GIRL AFTER A DISPASSIONATE GUY AND I LOVE THAT I LOVE IT BUT IVE BEEN LOOKING UP DIFFERENT TRANSLATIONS AND IT POSSIBLY COULD BE ABOUT A BOYFRIEND CHEATING??????? pls... PLS TELL ME.

[noisy-weasel]

You know how in Shakespeare's route it ends with your character like just refusing to let vlad kill him? This scenario but the mc isn't dating anyone and literally just feels so strongly against vlads careless throwing away of life that they'll sacrifice themselves to let whoever is being attacked get away, and as they're bleeding out and on the verge of death vlad offers to make them a vampire and recruits them because he's mesmerized by mc's unconditional love of human life

[blankeclipse]

I keep seeing posts like “omg levi probably stinks” or “mammon probably reeks of axe” but i have my own headcanon about this

So I think that all the brothers actually smell really nice

I mean, demons try to corrupt humans and I’d assume that this would kind of help with this

so I think that all the brothers smell really really good they all have a different but pleasant scent and the more powerful they are the stronger that scent is

and the more prevalent that sin is in your life the more attractive that brothers scent will be to you

for example, you think Mammon smells the best and his scent is just so pleasant and attractive to you, then you’re the kind of person to indulge in greed a lot

and the perfumes and colognes some of the brothers wear just makes their scent more noticeable to humans

i mean, you’d be more willing to be around someone who smells nice rather then someone who stinks so its something that they naturally have that helps them

it’s just one of their natural ways of luring humans in

[celestialsapphicc]

I can't believe a whole WEEK had passed since the new season dropped it feels like it's been way longer than that

[victoriademedici]

@leonisandmurex @thisblognameistakenn check the folder at 2:30 (in my time) 😏 I talked to Landon twice in this ep 😌

[becca-alexa]

✨personal so read if you want to✨

the people in my immediate circle all think i'm crazy for saying i'd want to be in a relationship for 2-3 years before talking about marriage and i think they're all insane for it but then i remember the average time from strangers to married for them is around 6 months

[tobe-sogolden]

“playing house”? 😭 Is that what they’re calling it? Smh. Honestly this attitude comes from people being used to Harry as the constant bachelor and comfortable with it cos it fuels fantasy and fan fiction. They don’t know what to make of the idea that he’s entered a chapter in his life where he’s serious about someone and actually planning a future with them. I don’t think it’s presumptuous to think that is what’s happening here because I find it hard to believe Olivia would be living with him and having her kids around if there weren’t serious, adult conversations she’s had with Harry. There must be some security and stability in the relationship to take that step. Certain people don’t want to swallow that bitter pill because it would mean having to actually respect his relationship and his partner. Instead of what they’ve been doing for the last 18 months which is to ridicule her, mock her and belittle the place she holds in his life. Like if they don’t think this a serious commitment at this point, then i don’t know what else they’re waiting to see

They don't want to see it bestie they just want to bury their heads in the sand and pretend none of it is happening at all 😅

[vigilantaes]

on a less serious note my cass keeps interacting with godly characters and treating them like they're just regular dudes and its so fucking funny

[finexbright]

.

[thatone-highlighter]

Stevonnie and Garnet dynamic my beloved my everything

LEGIT THO. Stevonnie and Garnet are so cool. Stevonnie is the best example but she really treats all fusions like that, reasonably so you can see why

Fusion is a deeply personal and highly important thing to Garnet. When Steven fuses with Connie for the first time in Alone Together she is so excited, probably because they didn’t even know if Steven COULD fuse until that point, and he somehow managed to fuse with another human. She is so excited and happy for them and just tells them to go have fun and be themselves, to learn who they are, and they do just that. In Fusion Cousine im pretty sure Garnet is the one to say them fusing into Alexandrite isnt a good idea, because it’s important to her and Alexandrite isnt Meant for things like that, shes too unstable for anything outside of big fights and shes made up of so many components, two of which cant stay fused for more than 10 minutes on their own. Her first major song is about being a fusion and how much she loves it. Come season 2, seeing messed up fusion experiments done by Homeworld cut her so deep she almost splits then and there, she is so emotionally distraught by seeing something so important to her be used in such an awful way she barely manages to literally hold it together. She stops talking to Pearl for weeks after Cry For Help, because Pearl took something that she Knows is that important to Garnet, and she misuses that trust and fusion, hell that time she Does split (and for 24 hours steven gets to experience being a child of divorce /j) and afterwards its not a quick fix it takes a while for Garnet to be completely comfortable around Pearl again. Her excitement over fusion does have its drawbacks as well, the main example i can think of being Know Your Fusion when Steven and Amethyst decide to show off Smokey Quartz to Pearl and Garnet, resulting in the latter two fusing themselves into Sardonyx and accidentally feeding into Smoky’s insecurities about not being good enough trying to learn more about them. In that episode Garnet’s side of the fusion and her excitement over the fact that Steven and Amethyst managed to fuse is what blinds her to who Smokey is, how they’re feeling and what shes doing and feeding into

Its kind if disappointing the show got cut short and the rest if the crystal gem fusions had to be crammed together so quickly, if they had of had the time to do it properly i think that Garnet and Steven’s fusion could have been a really interesting and emotional thing, Garnet loves fusion and she loves Steven, so getting to fuse with him would have been something she was Ecstatic about getting to do (same goes for Rainbow 2.0 i think he could have been an incredible point in Pearl’s arc of her getting over Rose completely and fusing with Steven to create whats implied to be the only fusion that Rose herself ever took part in).

Fusion and the way its treated in the show is so cool and interesting, theres a reason Giant Woman is such a beloved episode