#Derek to Spencer: sooo many phone numbers did you get | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

candycorncarl · 4 years

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Right Here, Right Now

WOW!! I’m finally posting part 4! I am so sorry it took this long. I had a lot going on but I reworked this part sooo many times. I really wanted to do something similar to the toothbrush scene in bring it on and one of the priest scenes in fleabag... enjoy!! p.s there are two songs I used as inspo for this chapter fever thoughts by louis III and north by clairo!

Warnings: alcohol, angst Word count: 4.5k

Part 4

"Couldn't our unsub choose, I don't know? A warm sandy beach?" Emily groans, zipping her coat up. You all make your way into the parking lot of the local police station.

The forecast for your stay in Maine was looking rather snowy. The town you were in was smaller than usual so they didn't have typical accommodations for many visitors. Right now the plan was to stay at the station. Something you were all hoping wouldn't actually have to happen. You don't know whose idea it was to wait outside since it was freezing, but the snow was beautiful.

"At least the scenery is pretty." You look up at the sky watching it fall, feeling yourself blinking away small flakes.

"Should we all huddle together to stay warm?" Derek smiles at the three of you. "Oh yeah you'd love that." JJ scoffs with an eye roll. Looking past the group you see Spencer standing by himself. He's struggling trying to study a map on the hood of the suv while fighting off the cold. If I was going to huddle with anyone to stay warm it would be him. He gives up on the map and looks up at the snow falling. The parking lot lamp softly lighting up his face. That constant subtle ache from missing him hurts a little more watching him take in the snow. The way it was falling made it look like he was moving in slow motion. It's not until he's made his way standing next to you in the group that you're knocked out of your trance. Diverting your eyes back to Derek, he's talking about... Chicago winters, ah okay.

"Well I know one things for sure, I am going to warm up with a nice cup of tea that Y/n will be serving about a certain someone." A big grin forms across Emily's face as she tightens her coat around her body. "Ohhh count me in." JJ says with a mischievous smile. "Oh my god." You tug down on your coat pockets feeling put on the spot. Looking down at your feet you let out a small laugh, trying to hide how uncomfortable you actually are. Please, let's talk about anything else. "Hey now, what about us?" Derek asks sounding offended, gesturing to Spencer. Your breath hitches at the thought of Spencer sitting there listening to you talk about Luke. "No boys allowed, sorry." Emily shrugs her shoulders at Derek. As your breathing returns to normal you try to avoid looking at Spencer. You can feel his eyes on you, waiting for you to say something. "Yeah, well you're welcome. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even know who he is." Derek huffs out a laugh.

You laugh Derek off but can't help to glance up at Spencer, looking up at him feeling like a guilty puppy. His eyes dart to the ground and you watch his brows furrow together. Great, he can't even look at me. Unsure of how to reply, this is literally the last thing you wanted to talk about with Spencer around. As you awkwardly laugh trying to figure out how to respond Spencer pipes up, looking back up at the snow. The snowflakes gingerly kiss his skin, I never thought I'd be jealous of snow. "Did you guys know snow is comprised of ninety to ninety five percent trapped air? It makes for a great insulator. An igloo that uses only body heat can become around 100 degrees warmer inside compared to the outside temperature." Spencer begins to ramble, distracting the group from the previous conversation. "So... what? We should just build igloos to sleep in tonight?" JJ retorts. "Considering none of us have ever in built one, it would take too long to actually be practical for tonight. It can take anywhere from three to six-" Spencer continues. "Please tell us we all have beds to sleep in tonight!" Derek shouts over Spencer at Hotch and Rossi as they make their way back to the group. "We found a bed and breakfast that's willing to open for us." Hotch says. "They're usually closed this time of year, but thanks to a little persuasion from yours truly they agreed to take us in." Rossi raises an eyebrow while slipping his leather gloves on. Everyone quickly thanks him while rushing to the suv's.

___________

Sitting near the cozy fireplace in the small bar area of the bed and breakfast was the perfect way to warm up. Enjoying your wine the inevitable conversation starts. "Ok, so when is date number two with Luke?" Emily sips on her wine glass, her brows perking up innocently. You roll your eyes and smile. "Well.. it already sorta happened?" You bite your bottom lip looking away from them. "I'm sorry, when? And why didn't you tell us?!" JJ tilts her head at you. "We decided to get lunch a few days ago. It was a little last minute. I got to meet his dog Roxy though! We met at the park and yeah, it was nice." You take a big gulp of wine knowing the subject wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Talking about Luke is confusing to say the least. He is someone you would be head over heels for, if you weren't already feeling that way. How do I just turn off my feelings for Spencer so soon... or at all for that matter? Ugh! It was only one night with Spencer... Get. Over. It. That night was the culmination of over a years worth of hidden feelings though. It wasn't something that was only to last as long as a match can hold a flame. You thought you knew Spencer, you thought it meant the same thing for him. How could it not?

"Oh come on! You've gotta give us more than that. Do you like him?" Emily pushes your arm, pulling out of your thoughts.

"Alright, alright fine. I mean so far he's great. He's a good dog dad, which says a lot about him. He's funny, he listens. I'm surprised by some of the stuff he manages to remember. Yeah, he's easy to talk to." You feel yourself beginning to smile, but you catch yourself. You begin to twirl your hair in your fingers feeling a little nervous from your emotions. The wine combined with your nerves is making you feel warmer by the second, you feel your cheeks heating up.

"Ok well, you can finally admit I picked a good one." JJ singsongs as she pours a little more wine into your glasses.

You shake your head in agreement, raising your glass at her before taking another big sip.

"And he's hot, let's not forget that." JJ says, raises her glass in return.

"And he's hot." Your eyes widen, and Emily raises an eyebrow noticing your facial expression.

"Oh! What does that face mean?" She leans closer as a curious smile grows across her face.

"Umm... he might've sent me a picture of him and Roxy after a hike they went on and... let me just show you." You pull your phone out searching for the photo. Biting your bottom you try to hide your giddy school girl smile. Finding the photo you hand your phone over to Emily.

"Wow! How many abs is that?" She studies the picture sharing the phone with JJ. JJ's face lights up as she tries to hide her intrigue.

"That would be at least 6." JJ clears her throat examining the photo before handing your phone back.

"Ok yeah, I think JJ wins as best wing woman." Emily chuckles.

"She does, and with that being said I need to go to bed. The wine is kicking in." You set your glass down and hop off your seat.

"I'm sure you'll be having some sweet dreams." Emily winks at you, and you all start to giggle before you make your way to the stairs.

You head up the creaky stairs, the alcohol making your legs feel heavy. Smiling to yourself as you think of your lunch date with Luke in the park. Maybe all I need to do is just give it time... Reaching your room you throw your now suffocating sweater off along with your itchy bra. Your tank top is already acting as a form of relief from the warmth of the alcohol. You're now regretting practically chugging it. Grabbing your toiletries you shuffle to the bathroom, eager to wash your face and go to bed. Opening the door you're surprised to see Spencer standing on the other side.

"OH!" You yelp in fear, swiftly slamming the door closed.

"Wait, is this a shared bathroom?" You ask, flustered through the door.

"Uh, it seems so." Spencer says, not sounding very enthused.

"Wow, they could have told us that to avoid any heart attacks." You say with your hand placed over your heart.

"I'm finishing up if you need to set your stuff down." Spencer replies, his voice slightly muffled.

Your heart shifts from a fearful thump to a now nervous thump. You haven't had any alone time with Spencer since that night in the elevator. Since he rejected you and left you in tears. Making sure to avoid eye contact you set your stuff down on the sink.

He's brushing his teeth, mouth full of toothpaste. He isn't looking at you at first but when he does decide to look up at you through the mirror he does a double take. Taking in the lack of clothing you're wearing his eyes hold an aggressive gaze on the faucet. She's going to be the death of me.

"I just need to brush my teeth too." You say shuffling through your bag, still avoiding eye contact.

Not having had a conversation with Spencer in weeks that wasn't solely work related created an awkwardness in the air that could be cut with a knife. Talking to him was somehow the last thing you were ready to do, but was still the only thing you wanted. Luckily shoving a toothbrush in your mouth saved you from any uncomfortable conversation. You shakily squeeze some toothpaste on your brush and begin swirling it around your mouth. You peek up at him in the mirror and he replies with a small eyebrow shrug. Feeling your mouth quickly filling with the frothy toothpaste, you brush for what felt like forever. At this point it feels like a contest of who can go the longest. The two of you exchanging awkward glimpses at one another waiting to see who will finish first. The quick consumption of alcohol earlier keeps your mind fuzzy from the small bit that dribbled onto your chest, attracting even more attention to your taunting tank top. Bending down to spit out the excess, you also don't seem to realize how open your tank top is hanging down.

Spencers face turns a deep shade of red watching you. The dribble slowly moving down your chest putting thoughts in his head he tries his hardest to stop. When you bend over and your tank top falls from your chest he nearly becomes undone. The situation becoming all the more agonizing for him. He finally spits his toothpaste out and tries to subtly run some water over his face.

Once you look in the mirror you finally notice the small mess on your chest. "Oh, whoops!" You let out a small laugh, blushing in embarrassment.

Spencer tries to pack his stuff up hurriedly. Doing everything he can to avoid anymore glances at you or your chest. His cheeks keep their rosy color as he fumbles with getting his toothbrush back in his bag.

"That seemed a little longer than the recommended time to brush, didn't it Doctor?" You ask trying to joke, but the word doctor slips out more flirtatiously than intended. You just want to have a pleasant ending to the rather embarrassing situation for yourself. His sudden change in demeanor is enough to make you stop wiping the toothpaste off your chest. Fuck I just made it worse.

"Please, don't call me that." He turns to face you.

"Oh I was just-" Before you can finish your sentence he cuts you off. Something he's gotten a little too good at.

"Acting like it doesn't turn you on just to say it." He nearly whispers as he lets out a small provoked laugh, shaking his head. Suddenly, his thumb meets your chin as he wipes away a tiny bit of toothpaste that went unnoticed. His eyes dart from yours to your lips. His fingers still holding your chin.

You feel dizzy from the sudden rush of blood to your face. You can't take your eyes off of his, almost out of fear. Any sudden movement would have consequences, so you stand there completely frozen in his hand. As you watch his gaze shift down your body and his brows furrow together his eyes seem to darken. A look of anger running across his face. The only thing you can hear is your heart pounding, anticipating each second. Then suddenly, without saying anything else he walks into his room and shuts the door. What the fuck? Standing there in awe of what just happened your fingers brush over where he touched your chin. Did he really just do that? Your feet seem stuck in place so you're not sure how stepped over to his bedroom door. Should I open it? Yes. ...No. You bite your cheek, retracting your hand from the knob. What was that?! Fuck! Too many thoughts are racing through your head. Your hand grips the doorknob again out of impulse. Just as you decide to turn it you hear your phone ring in your room. Jumping back you stare at the door a bit longer. Frowning, you turn back into your room.

Spencers hand is gripping the doorknob so tight his knuckles turn white. He rests his head on the door, a long rigid breath huffing from his nose. Not only did the shared bathroom catch him off guard, the fact you're the one sharing it with him is almost too much to handle. The cherry on top being your flimsy tank top, teasing him unintentionally. Shaking his burning hand that was just caressing your chin, he sees the doorknob barely turn. He jumps back, heart beating out of his chest. As quickly as he saw it move it stopped, and then he hears the sound of your closing door. Turning to face his room he runs his hands through his hair taking a deep sigh. He angrily fights with the buttons on his shirt, tearing it off with fervor. Knock on the door. She was about to come in. He stops walking to the door as he hears your muffled voice through the paper thin walls. The cadence of your voice revealing you're not talking to just a friend. She's talking to Luke. He pushes his bag off his bed out of frustration, FUCK!

"Yeah?" You stumble over the bed to answer your phone before it goes to voicemail. Not checking the caller id beforehand. Your head feels like it's splitting.

"He-Hey! I hope it's okay that I called you? I wasn't sure if you'd still be working." He sounds surprised that you answered, but taken aback by how you answered.

"Oh my god Luke. Yes, yeah of course! We finished for the night not too long ago. I just got to my room." You clear your throat trying to shift your full attention to your conversation.

"If you need to go I understand, I don't want to keep you up." He shyly laughs through the phone.

"No, it's okay. Sorry it's just been a long day." You sit on the bed staring at the bathroom door.

"It's okay, I get it. Hopefully you're staying warm?" Luke asks calmly.

"Trying to. It's freezing here, beautiful, but freezing. I'm sure Roxy would love playing in all this snow." You feel a smile spread across your face thinking of how excited she would be.

"She definitely would. I think she misses you actually." He says hesitantly. You don't often hear him sound so nervous.

"Are you sure she misses me? Or just the treats I gave her." You chortle.

"Ah, well either way I'm sure she'd be happy to see you again." Luke says, clearly petting Roxy in the background. "She's not the only one who would like to see you again." He still sounds slightly nervous.

"Oh? I'm not sure when we'll be back yet." You bite the inside of your cheek. You just don't have it in you to flirt back right now, you can feel the guilt creeping up inside you. Your fingers somehow find their way to where Spencers just were.

"Of course, yeah. No worries." He quickly replies. There's almost a sense of embarrassment in his tone.

His tone confuses you for a second until you realize the way your reply came across. What am I saying? I do want to see him again.

"I'll let you go so you can get some sleep." Luke says after a brief pause.

"That would be nice though! Seeing Roxy, that is. I'll let you know when we're headed back." You let out a small laugh in hopes to let him know you didn't mean to shoot him down. "Of course. Well goodnight, dulces sueños." The confidence in his voice coming back.

You say goodbye and plop your head back on the pillow. What am I doing?

___

Sitting on the edge of his bed he can't shake the sight of you in your tank top, the toothpaste trailing down your chest, your inability to take your eyes off of his. The way you eat up his mind makes him restless. His leg shaking over the edge of the bed, he bites away at his bottom lip. It's like the worlds way of torturing him, being able to hear you talk to someone who isn't him. He doesn't even bother distracting himself with a game of chess or a book to read. He hopes for once he can just force himself to sleep. Something he's never been good at, but right now he's desperate for an escape from you. Even though you are the only place he wants to be. Laying in bed he stares up at the ceiling, images of you still flashing through his mind. He flashes back to you standing in the snow. The snowflakes getting stuck on your eyelashes, the permanent flush on your cheeks from the cold air... the guilt in your eyes when you looked up at him. Shaking that thought away he sits up. Why did she stop turning the doorknob? Did she want to come in? No, because if she wanted to she would have. Knowing you're just on the other side of the door, knowing all he has to do is walk through that door to see you, to be able to touch you again, to feel your touch again. She doesn't want me anymore. She would have come in if she did. She has... Luke. She was probably just going to tell me to leave her alone. Turning the light off he turns over glaring at the window. The unavoidable tossing and turning keeping him up all night.

___

Your alarm wakes you up and you groggily turn over in the warm bed. That was 2 maybe 3 hours of sleep? Checking your phone you see a good morning text from Luke. You send a quick good morning back and give yourself a few more minutes in the warmth of the bed you knew you'd lose to the cold air of the room. You hear the shower turn off in the bathroom and you sit up. Spencers words from last night flood your memory, causing a melancholic nervousness to fill your stomach. You scroll through your texts finding your messages with him. His last text reading as piercing as the temperature outside.

Reid: You should go on the date.

He couldn't even talk to me about it. He just dismissed me. You feel your eyes filling with tears, as you think back to how scared you were to go to his apartment that night. It was terrifying but finally happening, and it was so much better than all the times you had dreamed about. How do I miss him this much? Scared of your feelings, you wipe your eyes dry and make your way to the bathroom. You step into the steaming shower hoping to wash this sadness off of you. Letting the warm water reset yourself. You begin to hum a song you've been listening to on repeat, the lyrics seem to be as if you wrote them. Going through the motions of your morning routine you don't even remember the walk down from your room to the breakfast area.

Grabbing a plate and filling it with food you scan over the dining area you make sure to sit away from wherever Spencer is. Finding an empty seat by Rossi you gladly take it.

"The one great thing about staying in a bed and breakfast? The breakfast." Rossi says, setting down a cup of coffee in front of you. "I have to give this place a 5 star rating for their choice of italian sausage!" He continues as he takes a seat across from you.

"Wow, 5 stars? That's almost unheard of from you." You tease him while cutting up some to try.

"Well you know the only other place I can rate so highly is where you went on your date the other night." Rossi says in a teasing way, smiling as he takes a bite.

"Oh! Yeah the food was amazing." You really didn't want to talk about your date there with Rossi, especially after the morning you've had.

"How's everything going with that?" He takes a sip of his coffee watching you fidget in your seat.

"Everything is good. We've only gone on one other date but he's great." You shove some food into your mouth and smile. Looking back at your plate you begin to push your food around.

"But?" Rossi watches your fork play with your food.

"But what?" You look up at him with a confused frown, cheeks still full of food.

"But, something is bothering you. Hence you playing with your food." He nudges his eyes at your plate.

You look around the room to see if anyone else was listening. Everyone seems engaged in their own conversations so you let out a deep sigh. The frown stays put on your face.

"It's complicated but I opened up to someone... about my feelings for them. I thought they felt the same way considering what happened between us. Except now it seems like they want nothing to do with me." You divert your eyes over to Spencer for a moment, then back to Rossi. "The problem is that all of this happened before that first date with Luke. I'm just having a hard time sorting out my feelings. It's nothing really." A tight lipped smile forms on your face as you look down at your plate.

"I see. Well, maybe this person got scared of their own emotions? If this was something that happened suddenly that is. I can't imagine they wouldn't want to be with you, bella donna." Rossi winks, "Regardless you deserve someone who can be there for you. Does Luke seems like a good guy?" His eyebrow raises as sips more of his coffee.

"He's a good guy... but so is the other one. That's my problem." You give Rossi a half grin, making yourself eat a little bit more.

"Except one knows what he wants. Just remember that." He takes another bite of food.

You spin your eggs around on your fork as his words sink in.

Spencer searches through his phone growing more agitated by the second. He looks over at you talking to Rossi. What song was she humming earlier? He could hear you through the door right before he left and the soft melody won't leave his head.

"Damn pretty boy I've never seen you spend so much time on your phone. Are you okay?" Derek asks jokingly sipping his coffee.

"Have you heard of a song that goes hmm hmmm hmm hmm hmmm..." He hums the song the same as you did, just with much more discomfort. His big brown eyes scanning their faces hoping one has the answer.

"Uhhh, no? Is that what you're doing? Looking for that song?" JJ asks, giving Derek a look of confusion.

"I've had it stuck in my head all morning and don't know what it is. I only heard that small part of it." He continues searching through his phone.

"Maybe y/n would know? She loves music." Emily turns to call you over.

"It's fine! I'll figure it out." Spencer stops her, giving her a tight lipped smile.

"Ohhhkay... well good luck trying to figure it out." Emily pops her t and exchanges looks with JJ and Derek. They shrug it off and continue their conversation finishing up their breakfast.

"Let's head out in ten." Hotch announces before heading out in his typical serious manner.

"You better eat quickly, Reid. I'm not stopping for a chicken wrap when we're an hour on the road." Derek pushes Spencer's plate closer to him before getting up.

Climbing into the suv with Emily and Rossi, you take the passengers seat. It wasn't the shortest drive to the police station and you wanted to try and hold off on anymore conversations for the morning.

"Do you mind if I put some music on?" You plug your phone in before they could say no.

"Go for it." Emily says climbing into the backseat.

"Thanks." You put on the song you were humming earlier, needing to actually hear it aloud. Staring out the window, taking in the beautifully frosted trees you let your mind wonder along with the song. Emily perks up noticing the familiar tune from Spencer. She pulls her phone out.

Prentiss: Is this your song?

Spencer hears his phone ding and frantically pulls it out. Opening the text from Emily he reads over the picture she sent. North by Clairo.

"Can I use your headphones?" He turns to look at Derek driving.

"I guess, but just until we get to the station." Derek huffs pointing to his bag in the backseat.

He grabs the bag and searches for his headphones. Plugging them into his phone he opens up his music app and searches for the song. He presses play and closes his eyes. A frown growing over him as he listens closely to the lyrics, his chest feeling tighter as the song goes on. He tightly grips his phone waiting for the part you were humming.

All I'm tryna say Is I miss you in every way Fingertips on my back Things I know that I can't have

Never seen a face like yours I got it together but my breath feels short I don't wanna close the door Maybe I should just go up north

As the song ends his eyes open and he stares down at his phone. The lyrics nearly breaking him. Is this how she feels? He presses the replay button and listens to the song on repeat for the rest of the ride.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

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