#Diamonds Droog/Pickle Inspector

[noirsword]

There's nothing less obnoxious than slight inconveniences. Things he had no reason to be angry over. Things like long-winded tirades about recapping. Things like poorly timed phone calls. There's nothing that could make those okay. It made receiving one all the worse.

The words PICKLE INSPECTOR didn't exactly thrill him to see. Pickle Inspector had no reason to be calling his cell phone unless Spades Slick had contacted someone else about their situation or something new had unfolded elsewhere. Given the players on the board tonight, and the structure of that sentence, he had reasonable doubt that it was anything new unfolding.

He watched it ring for a second. Cold winds picked up on the street he was walking down. He was willing to accept that alone as an omen, as a sign that answering this call would undo all of his progress destressing over this situation. The powers that be were trying to tell him not to. Who was he to refuse their instruction?

He was Diamonds Droog, of course.

But the man on the other end of the line was Pickle Inspector. He didn't want to hear what Inspector had to say. It was bad news. It was obnoxious news. It was sure to make his headache all that much worse.

He looked at his phone screen again. He looked back at the streets.

Nothing, absolutely nothing good could come out of this phone call. At best, he'd find out Slick did exactly what he shouldn't have. His headache would get worse, his blood pressure would go up, there would be absolutely nothing gained, but the winds kept picking up and for just a second, it really felt like divine instruction to ignore Inspector's call.

He raised the phone to his ear. "Talk."

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[mrrawky]

"If ya order now, I'll throw in a second beatin', absolutely free"

[inkwell-intermission]

october 12th and 13th (le piges)

[selanpike]

thanks to cooper for helping me decide who's tempting pickle into murder

[volatile-shorty]

you dont gotta hold my hand

[hippoinspector]

THIS SATURDAY........... i will be opening preorders for my first round of intermission/problem sleuth/mobswitch merch on etsy!! preorders will remain open for 2 weeks (but i do plan on running them again in the future so dont worry if you cant get em this time around!) the lineup is as follows: -2" GUMMY CHARMS ($12 each, will have discounts available for bundles): lineup consists of ss, dd, ps, and pi (regular and mobswitch versions) as well as ad. im sorry hb/cd/delinquent fans i swear i will have them available in the next run i just do Not have human designs for them rn </3 -3" PERNICIOUS INNOVATOR PLAYING CARD CHARM ($15, different design on each side): based on a fun design i did for a sort of calling card for innovator a while back. front side is his magician outfit, back side is his regular outfit -3" PROBLEM SLEUTH OFFICE CHARM ($15, different design on each side): based on sleuths office, front side is more detailed version while the back has that classic problem sleuth feel. having this charm is said to make you feel particularly... hard boiled -DIAMONDS DROOG BILLIARDS REDRAW 8X10 PRINT & 58MM BADGE (print $10, badge $5, together $13): i like him :) i want to make more stuff in the future (including felt related stuff!!!), feel free to send me an ask if theres any specific kinds of merch (charms, stickers, standees, etc) that you want to see or any specific characters! please note that while i do ship internationally, i am based in the us and international shipping can be high! if you live outside the us, i would recommend gathering friends near you to order with to cut down on shipping costs! all prices are also in USD!

[gopsnippers]

[latbak]

has been feeling extremely nostalgic lately, so much so that I drew these two again. can't stand their asses (in a very loving tone) ...anyway back to my slumber I go <З

[indigocaste]

PI ft DD for some charming stranger I met online

[sumbier0]

Take these problem sleuth/ midnight crew doodles

what the scallop *scurries away*

this specific jack noir is here bc idk paradox space

[millisteak]

what if gay people WERE real

[mrrawky]

Don't feel pressured to drink. Really, there is no pressure. None at all. Oh, this new bottle the waiter just put next to you? Purely for decoration, trust me. Listen, this is an elegant event, you wouldn't want to drink too much.

[inkwell-intermission]

Who drives and who gets shotgun?

I'll try to keep this kinda brief probably but it's divided up by group for the most part. Midnight Crew: Slick or Boxcars drives, usually Slick because he can fit into the driver's seat more often. It's not like Droog can't drive, but he's a little too lax and doesn't take any risks. He can't drive in a high stakes getaway or important situation- He kind of enjoys setting off other drivers. Slick's a good driver but he's got road rage. Boxcars is a good driver but he can't always fit in the driver's seat- he's the best driver, cars just don't always fit him. Deuce does not drive because He cannot usually reach the pedals and he is easily distracted and has a habit of hitting things like mailboxes or curbs or pedestrians. Droog or Deuce usually get passenger seat if Slick is driving. There isn't usually enough room for Boxcars in the passenger's seat anyway, but Slick usually picks Droog over Deuce for shotgun, and Boxcars will pick any of the three depending on the circumstance. For the most part though, Deuce and Droog like shotgun when Boxcars drives. Both Boxcars and Slick are backseat drivers. When traveling solo, somwhat rare, Deuce takes public transport. The buses wish they had metal detectors but they do not and it has cost them at least one bus. Team Sleuth: Ace Dick or Sleuth drive. Pickle Inspector is too anxious and dissociates too much to drive reliably when they're in a proper car. Ace has the nicer car, so they usually take that, but he won't let anyone else drive it, and Sleuth almost always sits shotgun if anyone does. Sometimes Ace's minigun sits shotgun instead. When Sleuth drives there's usually no one in passenger seat. Pickle inspector drives if it's a little light blue moped held together with hopes and dreams and tape and he wears a little helmet for it with his tiny hat on top of it that he never loses somehow. He cannot be trusted to operate heavy machinery . He can drive imaginary cars though. The Felt: There is a lot of them so this one's tough. Some of the felt are allowed to drive, but not all of them are, and some of them are not allowed to drive or ride shotgun. Good at/allowed to drive: Crowbar, Quarters, Trace/Fin, Matchsticks. not allowed to drive: Itchy, Eggs/Biscuits, Cans, Doze, Die. doesn't drive: Stitch, Sawbuck, Clover (requires pedal extensions which can be costly time-wise), Snowman. Not allowed to sit shotgun: Cans (too tall and wide to fit), Doze (too slow in a pinch), Die (too scared), Eggs (duplication risk in front of car is too big), Itchy (unless Crowbar is driving b/c he's too disruptive), Sawbuck (if injured the most useful pair of hands will disappear if not the entire vehicle and everyone inside it).

Best ones to sit shotgun: Trace, Fin, Clover, Quarters. Itchy is allowed to sit up front if its a full bench but only if Clover is in the way of him and the driver.

[selanpike]

i like longhair PI and DD but I feel like in any given universe only one of them can have long hair. if droog has long hair, pickle doesn't. if inny has long hair, deadeye doesn't.

one time in rp a long-haired droog told my pickle he'd look good with long hair and pickle cut his hair shorter out of spite

[volatile-shorty]

i stole this joke from two other people. its game night

[hippoinspector]

PROBLEM SLEUTH AND INTERMISSION MERCH PRE-ORDERS ARE NOW OPEN!

Pre-orders will remain open until July 6 @ 12PM EST!

https://astrumreverie.etsy.com