#Did everyone also stand up and clap when you were finished speaking.

[corset]

What is it that possesses (man looking at that word typed out is giving me a headache) some people on the internet to just start talking like a Complete Jackass when they’re trying to make a point

[bad268]

hey! hope you are well. I was thinking of an idea for a Kimi Antonelli x reader story and as you write for him the best I knew you would write it so well.

maybe reader is toto's daughter, and her and kimi are in a relationship. but y/n can't make it to the last race of the season but she ends up surprising him after the race (she was there the whole time) and he runs to her and its all adorable and everyone is clapping?

just a thought!

love your work!

Couldn't Keep Me Away (Andrea Kimi Antonelli X Wolff! Reader)

Fandom: RPF/F2/F3

Requested: Clearly (I think I cooked too much with this lol...)

Warnings: sick! reader, mentions cough medicine

POV: Second Person (You/your/She/her)

W.C. 1956

Summary: She's never missed a race…until now?

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(@/Kimi’s insta from February 13, 2024)

It all came down to this. Not in the literal sense, more along the lines of it was the last race of the season. The team’s champions and driver’s championship had already been decided, so there was nothing to lose in this race. Well, except his sanity.

You had been at every race this season. Not because of your father, Toto Wolff. Actually, maybe that played a part, but you were always in the Prema garage. He could not remember what it was like to not have you in the garage between practice and qualifying or during pre-race shenanigans. 

When you were not on track for media day, he knew something was up. Yes, he knew you hated media day because it was boring, but it was also the day you had the most time together since the F1 teams and drivers were more popular interviewees. He tried texting and calling you only to receive nothing in response. He knew what he was going to have to do.

Speak to your father. 

He decided to stop by before the sprint race. Walking into the Mercedes garage, he spotted your father immediately and standing beside him, your mother, Susie, and brother, Jack. He suddenly knew that you should have been here too. The only reason you gave him in the past for why you may need to miss a race was to watch your brother. You never did miss a race, but there was always the possibility.

He swallowed his concern, not needing to worry yet, as he walked up to your family. He waited for them to finish their conversation before he tapped on Toto’s shoulder. Immediately, Toto turned around to meet Kimi’s worried eyes.

“Kimi, is there something wrong?” Toto asked, sensing Kimi’s anxiousness, but chalking it up to the upcoming race. “Is it the race?”

“No…I mean, kind of?” Kimi answered but immediately contradicted himself. It was much more different talking to Toto about you than about racing. Despite knowing that both of your parents are aware of your relationship, he tried his best to only talk to Toto about racing whenever they were on the track. This was a first for Kimi, and he just did not know how he wanted to go about asking. Finally, after receiving multiple uneasy looks from Susie and Toto, Kimi took a deep breath before just deciding to go for it. “Do you know where she is? She’s not answering my texts or calls, and I’m getting worried.”

“Oh, Kimi, she’s sick,” Susie jumped in. She knew exactly who he wanted to know about, so she showed him a text from you that said you took some medicine and would try to sleep it off. “She’s been sick almost all week. I thought she told you.”

“Oh, have she sent any updates recently? Do you know how she’s feeling?” Kimi rushed. Looking back, he realized that every time he texted you, it would have been late back at home, so it made sense that you did not respond. Plus, to add the sickness on top of it? He felt like shit for not catching it earlier.

“That was the last text I received,” Susie said, sadly. Toto stepped away as he got a call, leaving Kimi and Susie to talk while Jack was distracted by Mick. “It was sent a few hours ago, so she might be awake now. You could call her?”

“No need,” Toto said as he walked back over, holding out the phone to Kimi. “Someone wants to talk to you.”

Hesitantly, Kimi took the phone and saw your name as the caller ID. He looked back up at Toto and Susie as they turned their backs to him and walked toward the pit wall to give him a little privacy. Immediately, Kimi raised the phone to his ear, “Amore (love)? How are you feeling? I heard you were sick. Are you staying hydrated?”

He gets cut off hearing you giggle lightly before descending into a light coughing fit. He smiled lightly for a second before growing concerned once again when he heard you cough. “Slow down, liebe (love). I am feeling better, just a few coughs here and there.”

“That didn’t sound like ‘a few coughs here and there,’” He mocked lightheartedly but in all seriousness. 

“That’s because you triggered it,” you laughed again. This time, able to hold back the coughs, just needing to clear your throat before you talk again. “I promise, I’m doing better. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“As long as you’re feeling better,” He sighed, knowing you’re alright now. Off to the side, he sees his race engineer looking for him, so he realizes that he needs to wrap up the call with you to race. “Keep resting, amore. I have to go race now, but I’ll call you after, I promise.”

“I’ll be watching, liebe,” you smiled to yourself, and Kimi could hear it too. “Good luck, Kimi. Give the phone back to my dad, please?”

With that, he walked up to Toto again to hand him the phone before disappearing with his engineer. Toto raised the phone, chuckling lightly at Kimi’s rush as he greeted his daughter. 

“Can I be on the first flight out? I feel better.”

~~

Kimi had a horrible sprint race. He was already starting in 10th because he was on pole for the feature race, but he became collateral damage in a fight between a couple of cars further back. It was the last lap too! They were all outside the points, so there really was no point in racing that hard. However, that’s what happened. 

He did his best to hide his disappointment as he walked past the engineers to the driver’s room he shared with Ollie, who was already there because of a tire blowout from one of the earlier laps. Kimi started changing out of his race suit and into his normal clothes, just wanting to sleep the race off. 

“Your phone went off a few minutes ago,” Ollie said, breaking the silence and catching Kimi’s attention as he threw a Mercedes shirt over his head. “And don’t blame yourself. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Plus, it’s not like this race mattered. You already won the championship, we won the team championship, and you have a seat for next year.”

“Thanks, Ollie, but that’s not the point,” Was he lying? Partly, but there was some truth. He was upset at the race result, but he was also still slightly bummed that you were not there. Thinking of you, he wanted to call you.

Kimi looked through his bag for his phone, finding it with no problems. He noticed the number of notifications, but the only one that mattered to him was the one from you. It was a few minutes prior and it read, “I’m so sorry liebe! That crash was nasty, I hope you’re okay. I just took more medicine, so I might be asleep by the time you finish post-race media. I’ll call you when I wake up. Ich liebe dich (I love you).”

He sent a quick response, telling you he was alright and he loved you. Then, he went about the rest of his day. And the rest of his night. And the next morning. At that point, he started getting nervous again since you were not responding again. What kind of medicine were you taking that knocked you out for 12 hours, he thought. 

He wanted to go back to your parents again, but the feature race prep was different compared to the sprint. He did not have the same break he did with the sprint. Ever since he got to the track, he was warming up and prepping for the final race. He was nervous given the result the day before. He did not want to end the season on a double DNF, especially when he was going to get an F1 seat the following season in a Mercedes. He had to score well in the race.

If he had found a way to get to the Mercedes garage, he would have seen you sitting with your brother while your parents had a last-minute meeting. And if Kimi had been in any other starting position, he would have seen you walk into the Prema garage with Jack. Pole position was different though because they needed to do more interviews and promo pictures. If Kimi could have seen around his car from his grid box, he would have seen you sitting on the pit wall.

The race started without a hitch, Kimi was back in his groove, and it was clear to see that he was confident in his moves again. Sure, he was not fighting anyone for position, but there were a couple of times when he had to defend. He did so perfectly, and it made people wonder if the sprint race was just a one-off day for him. It was all worth it when he crossed the finish line first again.

The team immediately ran to Parc Ferme to wait for the cars as they scored a Prema 1-2. Kimi pulled into the first spot, Ollie into the second, and Victor in the third. Ollie and Victor jumped out of their cars immediately, running to their teams, but Kimi took a minute. This win should have felt good, especially after the disaster that was the sprint race, but it didn’t.

It was fun to win, but he was going to have to jump out of the car and celebrate with his team. Just his team. This is the first race you were not going to be there celebrating with him, and he would rather delay the inevitable. 

You could feel his hesitance to get out of the car, so you handed Jack over to your parents as you pulled up your mask and pushed through the people to get to the gate. You got there relatively easily considering you went through the Prema team, and they knew you would be the first person he’d want to see.

Kimi finally climbed out and stood on top of his car, posing for the camera momentarily. Then, his attention shifted to his team, and he froze. You were there! He’d recognize those eyes anywhere! Of course, you made it. He jumped off of the car and flung himself over the barrier to wrap you in his arms.

“You made it. I can’t believe you made it,” He whispered over and over, not even bothering to question if you could hear him through his helmet. That’s when he remembered, so he pulled back to take his helmet and balaclava off as well as his gloves. He put the back of his hand against your forehead to check your temperature, causing you to laugh. “Don’t laugh at me! I’m seeing if you’ve got a fever.”

“I’m all good, my fever broke yesterday,” You consoled as you pulled his hand off of your forehead to hold it as you kissed his cheek through your mask. “I’m all good. The mask is just a precaution.”

“Screw precaution, I wanna kiss you,” Kimi whined as he pulled the mask down to give you a long kiss. Despite not actually hearing it, the team all started clapping and F1 TV definitely got a good shot of you two. When he pulled away, he put the mask back on for you as he leaned his head against yours. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“You couldn’t keep me away even if you tried,” You whispered back, leaning up to bump your nose against his, “I’ll always find a way to be here for you.”

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[cillianhead]

Hello dear!!! I hope you're having a wonderful day!

Could you please write a piece about Cillian falling for a (younger!) poet? He starts frequenting her reading sessions and that's how they meet. The rest is up to you!

Thank you 🩵

Yes!! Love this, thank you <3

Enjoy my sweet nonny!

This is heavily inspired by the song All Too Well (10-minute version) (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift!!

Wind In My Hair, I Was There || Cillian Murphy x Reader

warnings: Smut, angst, age gap (reader is in her mid to late twenties, Cillian is in his forties.), swearing, Cillian is sort of an asshole in this in some parts, so that is a warning, infidelity (Cillian is married), general adult content ahead!!

Minors DNI! 18+

I'd also like to clarify this isn't really based on the real Cillian!! I know he's married and very happy, this is just fiction and fantasy!! Not meant to portray Cillian as a bad person!! I'd also like to clarify that the ready doesn't really know who Cillian is... or maybe like Cillian isn't that famous in this fic universe or something because there are a few plot points that may seem questionable... that's all. Anyway... enjoy!!

The autumn you spent with Cillian Murphy would be one you would always remember, not that you really had a choice in whether or not you could forget him.

Your apartment was small and cozy at the time, with a perfect view of the falling leaves outside. It was sitting across from a small park in New York City; the trees were red and orange, and it felt like the fall was putting on a show just for you. You felt fortunate and privileged to live in such a place.

You lived right up the road from a small cafe with a library. Every Thursday, you meet with like-minded writers and read your work aloud. It helped bring you out of your shell; you felt a sense of pride when you read your poetry out loud and had people praise you for being so brave and how well you wrote. Despite the fact you have been attending these little group meetings for almost two years now and you felt pretty comfortable amongst the people who were there, you felt like you could vomit your pounding heart right up every time you stood at that podium in front of the dozen or so people that attended. But even with the lump in your throat, you'd read with a shaky voice and tears ready to spill, you would receive the same round of applause every time and a pat on the back from some of the attendees you were closer with.

It was September 14th when you first saw him, but it wasn't the first time he had seen you, summer still lingering in the air but barely grasping on as Autumn began to take the reigns. You were standing at that cedar-wood podium, reading aloud as nervously as you always did. You had yet to notice him quietly slip in; you were too busy ensuring you were on the right line.

"-And something beautiful sprouted, something that I am not... something that I never will be." You looked up after reading the last line, biting your lip nervously and stepping back from the speaking podium. There he sat, in a sweater and the most hypnotizing eyes you had ever seen. Maybe love at first sight was real, you thought briefly. People clapped, but the room remained silent and still for you as you two made eye contact; he didn't clap; he just stared at you with a look that told you he was just as taken aback by you as you were by him.

He kept attending the sessions, but he never got up and read anything and never really interacted with anyone else; in fact, you'd see him get up and leave once you had finished reading your poetry. You wondered if anyone else noticed him the way you did, or maybe he was a figment of your imagination... a ghost.

It was October 19th when you first spoke with him. You dreamt about him day and night, and you two had never even spoken before every session; you'd wonder if he'd be there, and he always was. Sitting in the same seat, at the very back, going ultimately unnoticed by almost everyone but you.

"Excuse me, sir!" You yelled out, rushing to follow the man in the plaid shirt and beanie. "You dropped this!" It was a pair of keys you had clutched in your hand, the crisp autumn air meeting the apples of your cheeks.

He turned around, only a foot or two away from you, as he looked at you up and down, taking notice of his keys in your hand. "Oh gosh, thank you, love," He took the keys gently out of your hand, his fingers lingering on yours a little too long for a stranger, fingertips brushing together. "I swear I'd lose my head if it weren't screwed on." You took notice of his Irish accent. It made you even more curious to know him better. "Erm... thank you so much."

"It's no problem..." You trailed off. You're not sure what to say now. He gave you a stiff nod and started to turn around and keep walking, but you just couldn't let him leave. "Wait!" What do you say now?

"Yeah?" He turned around, tilting his head at you, blue eyes staring at you, waiting.

"I... I'm Y/N... by the way... I always see you here... but I never see you read anything..."

"Cillian," He chuckled. "Not interested in reading anything I've written, only here to listen." Cillian's response was short but straight to the point.

"You don't stick around for very long... you always leave after... I've finished reading my writing..."

"Well... your work is the only one I come to listen to. The rest of the lots' poems just go in one ear and out the other," He said honestly. "You've got a charm about you; I've never heard anything like what you write. It's unique and intelligent, cleverly crafted written pieces... It captures my attention, unlike the rest, which all seem like people trying to mimic someone else... you write from your heart... or your head... I can't decide which, really." He notices your silence, Cillian steps a bit closer to you. "Perhaps I've said too much." He mumbles. The proximity of where he stands is close enough that you can feel his warmth, a stark contrast to how cold it was outside. "You've surely captivated me, Y/N." He said your name like it was a sacred prayer.

You felt like your heart was in your throat, looking at him dumbfounded and unsure what to say. "That's... very flattering, I don't know what to say... thank you, Cillian..." You scratch behind your ear, swaying nervously on your feet. Cars honked, and people passed by as you two stood outside the little cafe, which was now closed since the reading sessions had ended. Cillian looked around awkwardly before sucking in a deep breath and exhaling, his breath visible out in the open air due to how cold it was.

"Would you like to go out for dinner with me?" Cillian looked at you, eyes reflecting the city lights. The moment felt like something from a movie or something you'd write a poem about. It felt like something that wasn't quite possible within these depths of reality. "I understand... if not... you're a young beautiful woman... probably got someone waitin' at home for y-" "N-No, I'd love to!" You interrupted him, with your heart racing. "I'd love to go to dinner with you... I don't have anyone at home... waiting for me..."

"Well, aren't I lucky... when are you free?" He gave you a smile, the first you'd ever seen from him. It made his usually sombre face light up; he grinned, making you feel all giddy.

"I'm free any time on the weekends... and on Tuesdays, I have work off, so... I would love to... see you this weekend, maybe?"

"Wonderful, Saturday evening, you and me?"

You nodded. You exchanged numbers and went on your merry way, walking down the streets of New York City with a smile on your face that was purely gleeful. People would give you looks, but you didn't care. You were excited about something for once. You obsessed over it for the next day and a half.

October 21st marked your very first date with Cillian Murphy. At six, you waited patiently outside your apartment building in the cold air. With a red scarf wrapped around your neck your nose runny from the autumnal weather, you looked around like a lost puppy.

"Y/N," Cillian's warm voice startled you from behind you. You jumped but swiftly turned around to look at him, a bashful smile on both of your faces. "You look lovely." You felt your heart pound at the sight of him.

"Thank you. You also look lovely yourself." You replied. He leaned in and kissed your cheek before taking your hand in his and guiding you down the street. The feeling of his hand in yours made the cold weather seem like summer. Your body lit in flames at the idea he wanted you close to him. And the feeling of his lips on your cheek remained there the whole evening, burning its mark into your skin.

The night went on, and you found yourself in a charming Italian restaurant. It was nothing too fancy, but it was nice and romantic for a first date, definitely nicer than any other places other guys have taken you. It was just the two of you sitting towards the back, in a small booth, eating your plates of pasta. You talked, and you talked, and you talked. He spoke about how he was an actor; you could see his eyes light up at his passion for his work. He told you he was in New York for work and was filming a movie for something he couldn't legally disclose yet. Your chemistry was magnetic, and the conversation would weave in and out of different subjects. You talked about anything and everything, things like masculinity, The Beatles, the incident that happened on your 21st Birthday, batman, and everything else there was to discuss. You felt like you had known him forever. He said the same thing and referred to you two as twin flames. When you were about to leave, his phone began to ring.

"Fuckin' hell, what is it now?" He groaned. "Probably just a wrong number... or somethin'... hold on, love." He stepped outside, and you watched him on the phone. Cillian looked angry and frustrated, like he was arguing over the phone with someone. Your heart, which once rode the waves of love and joy, now sank beneath them into the deep dark depths of navy blue and dismay, watching him grow angrier and angrier and yell over the phone. He was seeing red.

When he waved for you to come out, you approached him cautiously. He huffed, puffed, and fidgeted his hands in his pockets, clearly restless. "Who was that? Are you okay?" "It was no one," He replied shortly and coldly. "I'm fine, let's go." You didn't say a word after that. The tension was thicker than the cold. You were afraid of saying anything to further upset him. So silence was the answer as he walked you home. You felt disappointed that this was how the night was ending. You wondered who it was and what they had said that had upset him so badly. The familiar apartment building you called home came closer and closer within sight, the disappointment weighing you down like water in your shoes. The disappointment tracing every inch of your freezing skin.

You stood in your elevator with him. He promised to walk you back to your unit at least, and he kept that promise. "Would you like to come in... Cillian?" You asked. You pulled out your house key and unlocked the door, looking at him hopefully.

"No, I'd better not." He remained cold and rigid with you. He couldn't even bring himself to give you a smile. You felt you'd never see him again; maybe he didn't like you the way you thought he did. Maybe he found you obnoxious and dumb. Perhaps the phone call was from another woman he realized was better than you. Maybe you simply needed to be better for him. "Goodnight, Y/N." He turned and walked away; you couldn't speak as tears welled in your eyes. Sorrow built up within you like some sort of horrible game of Jenga; one wrong move and you'd come crashing down and falling apart all over the place.

"Goodnight..." You whispered, but by then, he'd already stepped into the elevator, and the doors shut, taking him away from you. You cried yourself to sleep that night, both out of self-pity and disappointment.

When you awoke, it was to the sounds of soft raps on your front door. It was eight in the morning. Padding gently down the hallway, floorboards creaking, sleep still in your eyes, and your face puffy from the tears that leaked from your tear ducts the previous night, you opened the door, expecting it to be a neighbor asking you if they could borrow some sugar or something along those lines.

"Good morning," Cillian stood at your door, this time with a big apologetic smile, a complete change from last night's cold demeanour. He held a pink, yellow, and white bouquet and a small paper bag in his other hand. "I came here to apologize... for how I treated you last night." "Come in." You ushered him in.

He noted your knick-knacks, the photos on your walls, and your old, worn-out furniture. The way you decorated the place stood out to him, but the look on your face stood out to him the most. Sad, tired eyes, puffy and glazed over, you looked at him expectantly. "I'm so sorry." He whispered to you.

"What for?" You asked as you sat in your favorite olive green armchair. It was velvet and soft, and you'd spend most of your time writing, reading, or drinking your morning cup of coffee.

"For treating you like I didn't care," He sighed. He sat on the leather sofa beside you, gently placing the flowers on your glass coffee table and the paper bag smelling of freshly baked goods. "I don't want to discuss exactly who it was or what happened on that phone call... but I... I shouldn't have shut you out just because I was upset... that was... wrong of me, and I'm sorry." Your anger and sadness dissipated the way a fire dissipates when it's being smothered: immediately. His big blue eyes were the blanket that hushed that flame out, striking him as immediately forgiven.

"I understand, Cillian..." You mumbled, pulling your knees up to your chest. "Things happen... it's alright... I...." You wanted to confront him and tell him how insignificant and stupid he made you feel, but you swallowed it back and gave him a small smile. You remained the people pleaser you always have been. You spared his feelings over your own. "I understand." You repeated.

"I thought... I would make it up to you," He pushed the small paper bag over to you. "We could spend the day together... if you don't already have plans."

The paper bag contained a chocolate eclair. You had written a poem that mentioned eating a chocolate eclair while in a made-up love affair. The rhyming was cheesy, but it was one of Cillian's favorite poems of yours. It was the first one he had heard from you. Of course, you didn't realize the irony of it at the time. You just grinned and accepted it happily. You didn't know that you were engaging in a relationship with a man who was already married. So you took a bite of the eclair, letting him into your fragile heart, and entered this sad and tragic love affair.

So you spent the whole day together. You walked around New York City, holding hands and laughing your heads off. It felt romantic and intimate, and you got to know each other even deeper than you did before. You kissed under a stop sign and shared sweet nothings. The clouds rolled over, and the sky opened up. The rain watered you down like a pair of leaves in a pot plant, and you both ran through Central Park, trying to find the nearest shelter until you came across a large oak tree. It was something out of a movie, sitting together, soaking wet, staring at each other as lightning strikes in the distance. The wind was in your hair, and his lips were on yours.

You spent pretty much every day together after that. You made love in every room of your apartment, cherishing each other's bodies. Cillian would sit in that cafe, and he would clap after your readings and then reward you with a kiss when you got back down to him. You wrote poetry about him, and he would write some for you. It was a beautiful, quiet, little harmonious relationship you had going on. You found yourself falling in love. You thought he was, too, though you never said it out loud.

He even met your dad. They got along quite well. Your dad didn't seem to mind that Cillian was only a few years younger than him (and much older than you). Your dad just wanted to see you happy and safe. In fact, your dad told you he had never seen you more content. Cillian made your dad laugh, they got along like old friends. Seeing them bonding and getting along made you incredibly happy and excited.

On November 16th, at noon, you got ready to go to where he was staying, wrapping that red scarf around your neck again and stepping out into the living room where Cillian waited for you with eyes full of affection. You had packed a small bag since Cillian told you he was staying at his sister's house in upstate New York. She was away at the moment. "Most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He hummed jollily. You wrapped your arm through his and went down to the lobby.

His car had that new car smell, clearly a rental. "No matter how often I've stayed in America, I never get used to driving on the wrong side of the road." Cillian chuckled, exiting his parking spot and beginning the long drive to his sister's house.

The drive was beautiful. Driving through the city and slowly entering into suburban areas, red and brown trees lining the streets, Halloween decorations on display, and music playing through the radio, you both sang along to the words happily. The drive was surreal and peaceful. You drove down a long country road, and the tall trees created a tunnel above you. Only small slits of the grey sky could be seen through the scarlet leaves.

"We're here, Y/N," Cillian smiled at you, stepping out of the car and walking off without you. You hurriedly got out of the car with your things. "Oh, lock the car for me, the button doesn't work... please, love." He tossed you the car keys, not looking where he was throwing them, and they landed in the dirt before you. You ignored how it made you feel (stupid, insignificant, small), picking up the dirty keys and locking the car manually before rushing over to where he was unlocking the door.

The house was nice and quiet and far from the rest of civilization. It felt like home somehow. It is decorated nicely with photos of his sister and her husband, even some with Cillian when he was younger. It was getting dark by now, and you set your belongings down in the guest bedroom where Cillian was staying. You never asked when he was going back to Ireland. You didn't wanna know. You wanted to appreciate your time together instead of counting down the days.

Cillian cooked you dinner and shared a long, loving kiss to say thanks. You sat cuddled up on the couch together afterwards, your crimson scarf hanging over the stair railing as you rested your head lovingly on his shoulder. An old Western movie played in the background, but you were too busy holding each other and whispering sweet things.

"Cillian..." You whispered, pressing soft kisses along his stubbly jaw. "I'm so happy you brought me here... this feels so special." "I'm so happy to have you here, Y/N." He whispered back. Cillian pulled you into his lap. "This is special, just you and me... here... I'm going to make you my own." You wanted to tell him, 'I'm already yours, Cillian; my heart and soul are yours', but you remained silent, smiling dopily at him.

And with those charming words, you kissed him. Flashes of red played through your mind, fireworks sounding off in your head as your lips danced together. His hands cradled your head as you made out nice and slow. Both in your pyjamas now, warming each other up, hands running up and down his back. Cillian's hands wandered down your back until they rested on the tops of your hips, his thumb fiddling with the waistband of your sweatpants.

"Take them off." You hummed, raising your hips slightly off of his, and he obeyed, sliding your pants off until you were only in your panties. Cillian observed how you sat back down on his lap, the lace scrunched up, showing off the curve of your ass.

"I'm going to ravish you." He growled, eyeing you up and down. The timbre of his voice caused your thighs to tightly squeeze together. He pressed you down onto the couch, slipping his pants down until he was just in his briefs. He slipped your shirt over your tits, breasts bouncing out of their containment and straight into his mouth. He sucked happily on your nipples until you were a panting mess, begging for more. "Let me feel you, sweetheart."

"Please..." You exasperated. "Please... Cillian."

Two nimble fingers slipped under your lace underwear, straight down to where your arousal pooled. "So wet f'me, always so wet, aren't you, baby?" He groaned, fingers teasing your slit before sliding back up to rub circles on your clit.

"You know what you do to me..." You breathed out, biting your cherry red lips and closing your eyes, embracing the pleasure. "Always so wet for you, Cillian..."

The way Cillian cradled you in his strong arms as his fingers caressed you to your peak was the most intimate thing you had ever experienced. His eyes watched your face contort with pleasure, mouth open and spilling sounds of satisfaction as you came on his fingers.

"That's it, baby... doing so good," He whispered, kissing your cheek. "So beautiful."

You lolled your head to the side, panting and looking at him with a dazed grin. "Please fuck me."

Cillian laughed at your words. "Such a dirty mouth!" He teased as he tugged down his pants. "Gonna fuck you nice and slow, gonna show you how much you mean to me, love."

Then, in the dim light of the TV and the moon shining through the window, you made love like it was your last night on Earth. Hands ran up and down each other's bodies, trying to savor every final touch. Lips captured together, your bodies working as one, the love was there, glimmering in the light. No words could explain how you felt then; nothing else existed to you, just him and his hands all over your body. You and him for the rest of eternity, at least; that's how it felt in your heart.

You held each other tight in bed, clinging on for dear life. You listened to his heart slow as he slept and the way he breathed. You wondered if he dreamt about you the way you dreamt of him. Eventually, you fell asleep at midnight after watching his pretty face sleeping.

At three in the morning, you wake to an empty bed. Sitting up with a sweat, where did Cillian go? You slip out from under the covers, wincing at the room's cold air that meets your bare legs. You wore one of Cillian's button-ups, only the middle button holding it together as you slowly creep out of the room, listening to the sound of quiet music from the kitchen.

"Cillian?" You called out, cautious and slightly afraid at how dark the house is. It was a lot quieter than you were used to. You were a city girl, unfamiliar with the countryside silence.

"Y/N?" You heard, which relieved your paranoid mind.

Down the stairs, Cillian stood in the fridge's light, soft music playing through a small radio on the kitchen counter. "What're you doing up, Cillian?" You worriedly walked over to him, arms reached out as he turned to look at you, only in his sleep shorts.

"Just needed a midnight snack. I'm alright, my love," He smiled sleepily, with a sheepish look since he wasn't fully awake yet. "C'mere... dance with me."

"Oh... Cillian..." You giggled, walking over to him, letting him wrap you up in his strong arms and sway you gently. "This is nice."

"Mmmm..." Cillian hummed into the soft skin of your neck.

The refrigerator remained open, the cool-tinted light painting you both as you swayed side to side. You were half asleep, and the rocking motion didn't help your drowsiness. You felt as though this was some strange dream.

"Are you real?" You whispered.

"What do you mean?" Cillian purred back.

"I just feel like I made you up." You muttered, pulling your head back to look up at him with big, sleepy eyes.

Cillian looked back at you with the same look. Your wide-eyed gaze and his sweet blue eyes looked like something out of a romance film or something you'd see in a painting. The love you shared was unanimous... or at least you thought so. A kiss and then another kiss and then another turned into a sleepy yet heated make-out.

"Gonna take you right here," He grumbled into your mouth. "My midnight snack."

You giggled at his words as he pressed you against the kitchen island countertop. Kissing so hard it felt like your lips could bruise. He ripped off your shirt and pulled it off you like it was nothing. Cillian growled at the sight of you, hands groping at your tits and lips trailing down your neck. You whimpered, letting your head hang back as he ground his stiff cock into your clothed cunt.

"Fuck!" You whined, wrapping your legs around his hips even further. You ignored the feeling of the marble countertop digging into your lower back; the feeling of his cock was too delicious, too distracting, to really let it ruin the mood. "Cillian, please, baby, just put it in me... need you so bad."

He gave you a grunt and slipped off his shorts before pulling your panties to the side. Cillian acted like a feral dog as he pushed his cock into you and began fucking you on his sister's countertops at three in the morning. The act was sinful.

"Oh god! Yes!" You wailed. You could be as loud as you wanted to out here. No one else was around to hear, and you knew how Cillian liked to hear you scream for him. His hips pistoned in and out of you, cock fitting perfectly inside you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head. He had never been so rough with you before, but you were enjoying it.

"Best pussy I've ever had," Cillian groaned, sweat dripping from his forehead. "Fuck... so good... feels so good."

His fingernails dug into your hips, grunting into the dips of your neck and shoulders as he chased his own high. You ran your hands up and down his back, leaving scratch marks across his shoulder blades. The fridge remained open, but right now, you didn't care. All you could think about was how good he was fucking you. Drool spilled down your chin, mind blank, and legs went limp from the euphoria taking over.

"Yeah, is that it?" Cillian muttered, voice gritty and low as his hips sputtered. "You gonna cum for me, baby? Gonna cum on my cock?"

"Yes... oh fuck! Yes!" You moaned. "Gonna cum for you, Cillian..."

"Love the way my name sounds comin' from your mouth," He whispered, letting out a mouth-watering whine straight into your ear. Your pussy clenched around him tighter as Cillian, usually a quiet and stoic man, came undone and let out the most delectable pornographic-sounding moans. "Y'make it sound so dirty..."

"Please cum in me..." You whimpered. "Please... need it so bad."

"Really?" Cillian panted and looked at you incredulously. He had never had the pleasure of getting to cum in you yet. "You sure?"

"Yes!" You threw your head back, panting like a dog. "Please, Cillian! Please... give it to me." "Fuck... alright... gonna fill you up, love."

You pressed your face into the curve of his neck, mewling as you came around him and the feeling of his hot cum beginning to spill into you. "I love you." You gasped out, squeezing your eyes shut as you came around him. You meant it; you did love him. You had never loved anyone the way you had loved him. You could see yourself with him for the rest of your life, having his babies, getting married..., and dying together. He just groaned loudly as he came inside you, not saying a word to your confession. Maybe it wasn't the right time, or he would wait until he was done to say something.

"Fuckin' hell..." Cillian whispered as he slipped his softening length out of you and pulled his shorts back up. "Look at that..." He mumbled with amazement, getting down on his knees in front of your quivering and cum-filled pussy.

"Cillian, I-"

"Shhh..." He hushed before pressing a loving nip to your inner thigh, and then he unhinged his jaw and attached his watering mouth to your cunt. You forgot everything you were about to say at the feeling of his tongue licking you up and sucking on your swollen clit. You came again quickly due to how sensitive you were, and Cillian sucked up your gushing juices and his cum that still dripped out of you. Standing up, he grabbed you by the chin and kissed you, spitting the mixture into your mouth, tongues swirling together. You moaned at the salty taste and the dirty act. "Such a good girl..." Cillian hummed. "Swallow it, baby. Show me how good you can be for me."

He watched you gulp it down before leaning in and rewarding you with a wet and messy kiss, teeth grabbing your bottom lip before pulling away. "Cillian..." You whispered, out of breath and incredibly flustered. "That... was so good... I love-" "Let's go to sleep," He interrupted abruptly, crouching and picking up your discarded clothing. "It's real late, sweetheart."

"Oh..." You mumbled, heart breaking a little. "Okay... let's go then." You didn't get a peep of sleep that night. While Cillian snored beside you, one heavy arm draped across you and his hot breath fanning the back of your neck, you stared at the ticking clock with tears slipping down your face. Why didn't he say it back? Why didn't he at least say something? You knew he heard you. The dread built up within you that night, and daylight didn't seem to get any closer.

At 7:47 AM, you were pulled out of a state between consciousness and sleep by Cillian's phone ringing. "Fuck..." Cillian said groggily, reaching over with a heavy hand to pick up his phone. "Who is it?" You moaned out of dissatisfaction from being pulled out of your slumber.

"It's my sister..." He groaned before answering the call. "Hello?.... Yeah, it's alright... no, I don't have anything on today... you're comin' home today?... I thought you'd be home Monday..." You sat up at this, heart racing. Were you going to have to meet his sister today? You were nervous but also excited. Cillian looked over at you with a horrified look in his eye. "Yeah... alright... see you then... bye."

"...Is everything okay?" You asked cautiously.

"Yeah, I guess we're not sleepin' in..." He grunted as he got up and walked towards the en suite. "Gather yer' things, we're going back to the city." "What? Why?"

"I just don't want my sister to know I had a girl over." That was the last thing he said before shutting the bathroom door, clearly in a bad mood. Your heart sank at his words as if it wasn't already hurting. So you got up, fighting back the tears and gathered your things, shoving them back into your bag as you let out a choked sob.

Half an hour passed, Cillian was still in the shower, and you sat at the bottom of the stairs, feeling sorry for yourself. Your bag sat beside you, and the floorboards creaking behind you caught your attention. You turned and looked up at Cillian, dressed in a lovely blue turtle neck, dress pants, and a grim look on his face.

Begrudgingly, you followed him outside and into the car, then began the drive back in silence.

"You wanna grab some lunch wit' me today?" Cillian asked after about twenty minutes of silence.

"No." You said dryly.

"What? You got plans or somethin'?" Cillian asked with a chuckle. The question felt condescending and rude.

"Because what you said to me earlier really fucking hurt me." You hissed, turning to look at Cillian to see him already looking at you.

"What the fuck are you on about?" He barked back, putting his eyes back on the road and giving you that dry, condescending laugh again.

"You said you didn't want your sister to know about me.... that you didn't want your sister to know about you having a girl over."

"Yeah, and?" Cillian quipped, clearly flustered.

"Is that all I am to you?" You whimpered, trying to keep your composure, trying to seem strong. "Just a girl?" "'Course not, Y/N." He said in a hushed tone.

"Then what the fuck are we?" You raised your voice, a tear slipping down your cheek. "Why can't your sister know about me? About us?"

"B-Because..." He faltered before falling completely silent.

"Why, Cillian?" You cried. "You've met my friends... you've even met my father... for fuck's sake... why can't... why can't I meet your sister and her husband?"

He kept his silence. You could see the tears in his eyes that refused to spill. Those tears were just as stubborn as he was.

"Answer me!" You screamed, tears pouring down your exasperated face. "Say something!"

"Because I'm married!" He screeched back.

That shut you up. You leaned back and just stared at your feet. You felt like you had been winded, like all the air in the car had been sucked out, and you were choking on carbon monoxide. He was married. You sobbed as the shock set in, and Cillian pulled the car over to the side of the road, unbuckling his seatbelt. You fell into a state of despair; your chest felt incredibly heavy, and your brain played a loop of hopeless thoughts.

"Y/N," Cillian said firmly, reaching out and placing a soft hand on your shoulder, which you quickly smacked away. "Y/N... look at me..."

You looked over at him, and you could see him wince at the look on your face. He'd never seen you in so much pain. Never had he seen you look at him so coldly. "What?" You spat. "What is it, Cillian?"

"I... I'm sorry."

"Fuck you," You cried harder, covering your face with your hands and leaning on the dashboard. You cried so hard it felt like you could vomit. You felt like the salty tears were slowly dissolving you away. "Fuck you!" You sobbed.

"Y/N... I am sorry."

"If you were sorry..." You hiccuped, looking back at him with red eyes and tears endlessly slipping down your flustered face. "You never would have... you never would have done this to me... you never would have gotten involved with me!"

Cillian sighed and shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I... I stumbled into that cafe one night, and I saw you and... I heard the way you spoke... and the words you said... and I couldn't believe you were real... and things haven't been amazing in my marriage lately... and I haven't seen my wife in months..." He was rationalizing with you... with the infidelity. "I... I've never met anyone like you."

"You lied to me."

"How was I supposed to tell you I was married, Y/N?" Cillian snapped at you, looking at you with fangs barred. "What was I supposed to say to you?"

"You didn't have to say anything," You sobbed. "You shouldn't have invited me to dinner... you shouldn't have even... you shouldn't have ever shown up to those reading sessions... you just shouldn't have gotten involved with me in the first place!"

"My wife doesn't have to know."

"That... doesn't make it any better," You bawled. "You have a woman... back in Ireland fucking waiting for you, and I'm here... thinking I'm falling in love with you while you fuck me over!"

"I'm sorry..." He whispered, defeated. "I'm so sorry."

Silence.

"Do you feel anything for me?" "Of course, I feel something for you, Y/N... you're-"

"Do you love me?" You corrected. "Could you say you truly and honestly love me?" "I..." He looked away at that. You scoffed and shook your head, wiping tears off your face. "I don't... I don't know... I just..." "What the fuck was going to happen between us?" You cried. "How was this going to end? This was always going to end tragically... wasn't it? Wasn't it, Cillian?"

"I didn't... I never thought about how I was going to end things... I go back home in December... filming ends in two weeks... I was going to spend the last few weeks with you..." You scoffed again loudly. "Aww... how sweet! Spend your last few days with your mistress, who's twenty years younger than you... and then fuck off back to Ireland and go be with your loving wife and your... oh god... you have kids, don't you?" "Yes... I..." "Fuck!" You screamed. It wasn't like you to be so angry. You weren't usually this loud. But the pain was just too much, and you needed some way to get the pent-up rage within you out. "So this is it... this is going to be the last time I'll ever see you."

"It doesn't have to be that way, love," Cillian whispered, placing a hand on your arm; this time, you let it stay there. The shame of having him touch you made you sob again. "We could... spend this last month together... we could... cherish what we have while we still have it." "What we have is gone," You replied. "It's gone! It's dead! You killed it! You can't even say you love me."

"What good would that do?" He pushed you further over the edge. "I mean... I could lie and say I love you... I could feed into your fantasies that this... this could last... but it's not..."

Those words 'I could lie and say I love you' echoed over and over again in your head.

"I know that!" You yelped.

There was a pause. The silence hanging heavy in the autumn air and your teardrops falling into your lap where your hands lay curled up. Cillian's thumb rubbed circles into your arm, and you only cried harder.

"Maybe... if we had been closer in age... maybe we would have... maybe we would have been fine." Cillian broke the silence with that banger. The words ringing in your ears, you didn't reply. You didn't utter a word. Those words made you want to die. A minute or two went past. You just ignored him, ignored the way his hand lit your skin on fire, and ignored the way his eyes bore holes into the side of your skull. "Y/N?"

"Take me home." You muttered.

"Y/N..." He whispered.

"Take me the fuck home, Cillian."

And so he did. He pulled out of the parking spot, and you spent the next hour in an agonizing silence. At some point, the tears stopped falling, and the stupidity sunk in. You felt stupid and ashamed. You had told everyone about him, how happy you were, how handsome and funny... and how sweet he was. And now you sat in the car of a man you felt like you didn't know.

"We're here, Y/N."

"Goodbye, Cillian."

"Please don't do this." He begged, you looked at him, and he had tears in his eyes. "Please." You sucked in a breath, his eyes pleaded with you, and you wanted to stay so badly... you wanted to give him one last kiss and say, 'I understand,' but you knew you couldn't. You were too heartbroken. It was going to end one way or another... and it might as well end now.

"Goodbye, Cillian." You said once more before stepping out of the car and walking off into your building. Never looking back to see the broken man in the car, crying just as hard as you did, loving you just as hard as you did him.

Three months went by. There wasn't a day where you didn't think of him. Not a day passed when you yearned for his touch and to feel him hold you again. You thought about dancing with him in the refrigerator light. You thought about his hand on your thigh as you drove upstate. The memories all too real and... all too there.

And tonight, as snow fell outside, you stood at that same podium, reading the poem you wrote for him. You could barely utter the words, your heart catching in your throat as you looked around the room and spoke the words written on the page.

"Just between us, I remember it all too well." You finished, and the room clapped, but the applause didn't matter. Your heart still felt just as broken as it did the day you left him.

And as you descended from the podium, people would pat you on the back and murmur praises for how well-written your poem was and how well-spoken you were. But your eyes were focused on the hazy figure outside the cafe, the silhouette all too familiar.

And it was wearing that same red scarf you had left behind.

And you knew it was him, watching you from afar. Loving you from a distance... remembering it the same way as you did...

All too well.

-

hope you enjoyed!! Sorry this was all over the place a bit but I really wanted to write something angsty... anyway... there are lots of little easter eggs and references to the song, did you pick them all up? Okay byeee!

[heartilywrites]

❝ In every universe ; H. Callahan

next >

cw: mention of death, angst, spider-verse references, swear words, just spider!hazel being a dork too!

word count: 2.5k

a/n: heiya!! this is my first post ever, I just had an idea of spider!hazel and wanted to share it with y'all!!! hope u like it ♡ I'm sorry if there's any mistake, english is not my first language!

“𝓞kay! let's do this one more time. My name is Hazel Callahan, I was bitten by a radioactive spider and for a year and a half I've been the one and only Spider–Woman. I'm sure you know the rest. ”

⠀Hazel was running.

Hazel was running late to the fight club, third time this week.

Can you blame her. . .? Maybe. Let's see, she finished her last class on time, hell, she was 5 minutes early out of school; so she thought, —why not going out to kill time while the fight club meeting started?— but oh, Hazel. . . she should stayed inside.

Three minutes after stepping foot outside a scream was heard followed by a explotion and a very familiar laugh, the brunette made a tiny tantrum before running to a nearby alley and change to her suit.

So now it made sense why she was with her mask between her teeth while she's shoving her suit in that old brown backpack her mother gifted her when she was around fourteen.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “What the fuck, Hazel?” PJ spoke when the girl came through the doors, everyone's eyes on her now. “We promised to be punctual, who do you think you are to be this late? Spider–Woman?”

Hazel laughed a bit too loud due to her nervousness, the action made the other brunette frown a bit before letting her in. She started speaking again.

To her fortune, no one asked why she was all bruised up and had some fresh cuts in her face, for what they knew, Hazel was still going to taekwondo. Or at least, that's what she told everyone, also, she was a purple belt! According to her, again, but she has been a purple belt since dropping taekwondo.

Callahan made her way to the group, noticing one more new face and ... wait, was tha–?

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Punishment for coming late, newbie and Hazel. Let's go!” PJ talked again, making the latter jumped on her place looking back at the girl who just smiled with malice.

Once both girls were set up one infront of the other one Hazel called your name with confusion and you just looked like you were about to cry. “You know each other?” asked Josie just as confused.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yeah, we. . . we were best friends since kids, but she had to move out when we were fifteen. When did you–” Hazel was cut off by your fist hitting her nose.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh! Newbie can fight!” PJ laughed at the scene just witnessed. “Defend yourself, Hazel!”

The brunette looked shocked at what just happened, but was fast to attack back.

Now, Hazel was known to be a great fighter; the spider bite made her be more cautious about other people's way to attack, but she just couldn't figure you out. Her. . . uhh, she calls it intuition, so; her intuition has been all over the place making her being attentive of everything since she saw you. It's like she has the answer on the tip of her tongue, but couldn't say it.

On the whole gym the sound of Callahan's body hitting the ground made an echo. Your knee was on her torso and both hands holding hers, she looked as shocked as she was at the beginning.

Everyone clapped; shocked, confused, surprised and really excited (PJ, obviously).

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Alright, that's enough of seeing Haze getting her ass kicked.” Josie stood up laughing a bit nervous. “We should continue with the next couple.”

You didn't make a sound, just took Hazel's hand to help her stand up and make your way back to your sit and watched the next pair, the latter just sat on her own side with that a frown.

When the practice ended, everyone sprinted out of the gym leaving you and Hazel alone for the first time. Once you notice that, panic began to rise in your system.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey. . .” that sweet voice you didn't thought you'll hear again rang in your ears. “It's nice to see you. . . I missed you.”

Your breath stopped in your lungs and both hands moving to collect things stop as well. “It's nice to see you too. . .” your own voice came out with a little shake. “I– you look great. . . And happy.”

A really weak smile started to make its way into your face when you turned around and for the first time in the lapse of two hours you were there your eyes met hers with calm. She was smiling big at you and didn't give you time to think before her arms were around your body with a tiny laugh.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, god! I have so much to tell you!” she exclaimed with the excitement a child would have, after some time, the hug broke. “When did you arrive? Why didn't you call me? We need to go back to that one café! You know, that girl keeps asking fo—” Hazel's words were cut off when both of your arms were around her hugging her body, almost crushing her ribs. “Shit, you got stronger ... Are you okay?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yeah, no, I'm sorry.” a sniff sounded from your side “I just needed one from you.” now your head nodded.

Hazel was about to talk when both of you felt your "tingles" —oh, some Hazel is going to be pissed when she finds out that other people call it that.— started to alert.

Your best friend not knowing how to make an excuse was so close to run away without a word before you took her hand.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Don't ask, I know you're spider–woman, we need to leave now.” you said almost pleading, taking advantage at the fact that it was only the both of you, you undressed quickly staying in your spider suit as well. Hazel looked like she was about to pass out.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “YOU–” she cut off herself after realizing she was yelling. “You're spider–woman too!?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I don’t have time to explain right now, Haze! Please, just follow me, I– we need your help.” An answer came from your way while looking for your mask and put it on.

As if she could feel your exasperation, Hazel was quick to run under the benchs to get herself ready, while you watched if anyone came in. Once she was full-on suit, without talking you guided the way.

There was a job you needed to do before leaving. It was supposed to be an in–and–out job, no distraction, no waste of time, just the reason why you were sent to that dimension and then: continue to another assignment.

But your destination point was so near to the same school you went on your dimension and thought maybe of visiting, knowing your heart was aching for something else.

As soon as the both of you arrived to the scene you turned to Hazel. “Alright, listen, this is the plan.” your voice sounded a little muffled because of the mask, but was clear enough for her to hear.

There was a villain who didn't belong to that earth and you were assigned to take him back to the quarters so they could send him back to his dimension.

Once your best friend understood the plan it was time to execute it.

You were not going to lie, Hazel and you made a pretty good team together. Swinging in harmony, having the best unspoken communication about who made which punches first or who was doing the distraction and who was the attacker.

She improvised a bit, making it easier for the both of you to capture and kick the bad guy through a portal you open with your tools.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That was awesome!? Where did you learn to fight like that!?” An excited Hazel talked while taking her mask off, a big smile in her face and messy bangs were covering her eyes, you smiled a bit.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It came with the bite, didn't it?” You answer while brushing a bit your hair, a couple of steps were taken and now you brushed Hazel's bangs so you could see her eyes. “Uhm, the organization taught me.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “What organization? The one you sent that stupid thing to?” She asked making air signals with her hands about the portal which was closed by then, now you laughed shortly and nodded.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Here, let's sit and I'll talk to you about it.” you said while climbing to the nearest roof and sitting yourself with your legs crossed, Hazel was quick to swing herself up and sit by your side.

You talked about everything; about how you were from another dimension, how you worked with spider–people from everywhere —fact that made Hazel very happy, feeling that she wasn't the only one anymore.—, your assignment, why you were the one to get that assignment and about the next one.

Hazel listened with glowing eyes like a kid when they see something they want, between her hands she took one of yours and was playing with it, both of them were in your suits. Your suit and Hazel's were almost the same, that made your heart feel warm somehow; while yours was red and black with some golden straps on your upper arms, Hazel's was red and blue with the same upper arms detail, but it was black.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “So. . . Can I join?” she asked after some minutes of comfortable silence where you both were looking to the hands holding.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That's not up to me, sunny.” you called her nickname making Hazel remember your childhood together. “I was not supposed to look for you, actually, I was order to do it alone.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Then. . . why did you?” instead of sounding mad or annoyed, she sounded curious.

You took a couple of minutes before answering.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I needed to see you. . . At least in another dimension.” your sight turned blurry because of the tears. “I lost you in mine.”

The other girl's face was full surprise, she didn't speak nor asked for clarification, instead she move as close as the anatomy would allow the both of you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “In my dimension I didn't move away, I convinced my parents to stay here.” you began to say, wiping away tears streaming down your face. “We were happy, then I got bit by the spider instead of you and became spider–woman.” a bitter laugh came out from your throat.

~ “I was scared to death about the new powers, but you assured me that it was a good thing, that you were going to be by my side all the time.” a deep breath was heard and now Hazel hugged you from your shoulders, you almost melted. “We started to date. . .”

It was there where Hazel felt her heart skipped a beat when having a reminder of those feelings that didn't vanished with your moving, a blush starting to burn in her cheeks and ears.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We had plans, a lot of plans for the future, together.” That part sounded more like you were talking by yourself instead of saying it to her. “And I got this piece of shit terrorizing the city at the time and I said, I should go, take him down and come back home for our anniversary date.”

The girl with short hair knew where that was going by the way your voice filled with hate and you started to shake.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You said you wanted to help, he was fucking some machines that needed to be turned off before taking the whole city out and I thought that maybe if I took you there you will be safe, you will turn the machines off and I'll meet you outside the building so we could go to the dinner.” An almost incontrollable tremble in your voice made an appearance.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Darling. . .” Hazel's voice called out, you shook your head.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I could have saved you if I. . . if he didn't saw you trying to turn off the machines.” You ignore the call, taking another deep breath. “After you died I killed him.” You shrugged, Hazel made a pout. “I'm sorry, I just–”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Don't apologize, moony.” she was quick to cut you off. When she said your nickname, a face full of tears was what she saw in you. “It's not your fault, please, know that.”

She gave you a tiny squeeze while you looked for shelter between her arms with your face in her neck.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You know, I did liked you when you were still here. . . Well not you you, your other you. . . My you?” Hazel frowned confused at her own comment, you laughed. “I always thought what could happened if you never left. . . I think I have the answer now.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, god, don't talk about it. I always thought what could happened if I did move away.” you stood up again now to look to the girl, who was blushing a bit still. “Thank you, Hazel. . .”

And another comfortable silence was upon you two. One of Hazel's hand made its way to you cheek, wiping rest of tears. There it was, that war between eyes that you missed from Hazel, but definitely what she did next took you by surprise.

Her lips met yours in a kiss, the sweetest kiss you felt since your girlfriend left your side. The feeling of letting yourself go and fuse with the girl against you was strong, that feeling of holding her and never letting go again, the impulse of forgetting that you needed to go back to report so you could continue with the work.

Both mouths moving in synchronization, as if they were made for each other since the beginning. Your arms hugging her neck to get her as close as possible.

And then your communicator interrupted the interaction, with a groan you separated yourself from her and look at the bracelet on you wrist.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Fuck!” you exclaimed while realizing they were looking for you. As if someone took you by the ear, you stood up in your feet and look at Hazel with sorrow. “I have to leave. . .”

As those words left your mouth, she stood up by your side and took your hands. “Am I. . . Are you going to come back?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I don’t know, Haze. . .” you said in a sigh, while hearing the characteristics sound of portals from the organization you stole a kiss from her. A really needy one, a goodbye one. “Hope you're happy, baby, you deserve it.” a whisper came out of you as soon as you started to back away from her without looking away from her eyes. “I love you, Hazel, in every universe.”

Behind you a portal open, you knew it was your mentor looking for you. You gave her a last sight before waving and jump into said portal and as soon as she lost you from sight, the portal closed.

Hazel stood there completely shocked at everything that happen, a feeling of emptiness filled her soul. Looking down her hands she spotted a bracelet, the one you were wearing, her eyes opened with surprise.

Should. . . Should she try?

next part !!

[foreverfangirlsblog]

Unresponsive (Husk x Mute!Reader)

3356 Words

Summary:

Husk wasn't at the Hotel when you were first introduced to the residents so how was he supposed to know you couldn't talk? He would try to make conversation with you but to no avail. Was it something he did? Did you simply not like him? You seemed to get along with everyone else...so why not him? And even more so, why did it bother him so much?

**This is cross posted

The most recent extermination was a rough one...you didn't double die but you did run into some extremely heinous exorcists. Instead of killing you the group of exorcists decided to have "fun" and torture you. The torture included many beatings, cuts, and degrading. But worst of all...they decided to rip your tongue out after you threw some vulgar words their way. Even though they didn't kill you they may have well left you for dead, who knows maybe after all their torture and mutilation they really did think that they finished you off. Not you, you wouldn't give that easily. No way in hell.

The next couple of days after the extermination you went from alley to alley trying to avoid as many people as you can. Your apartment was also blown up by the bastards and without the ability to talk, well what were you supposed to do? You couldn't get a new place without talking, you had no phone to help you translate, so sleeping on the streets honestly seemed like the easier option.

One night as you were huddled up in the corner of an alley trying your best to drown out the surrounding noise someone came up to you. You tried ignoring them as the approached but they were coming straight for you and then tapped your shoulder, can't avoid them now.

You sighed as you raised your head from your fetus position. The girl standing before you was a tall girl with light blonde hair and red circles for cheeks, dressed in a red suit. "Hello!" she said way too enthusiastically. "My name is Charlie! I couldn't help but notice you over here..." she took a look around you, noticing your belongings in some dufflebags to the side of you. "...are you living on the streets?"

You slightly nodded annoyed that she would ask such an obvious question.

"Oh that's great!" she said as she bounced, clapping her hands together in glee.

Your face was deadpanned, as you tilted your head to the side to show confusion. 'How the fuck is that great' you thought to yourself instead of speaking like you would've liked.

"Oh no no I didn't mean-what I meant is that's great because I have a place you can live!" she said trying to clarify, but you were still confused and waited for her to continue. "I have a hotel, the Hazbin Hotel! It's a place where sinners can live for free while they try to atone for their sins, redeem themselves, and hopefully get into heaven!!!" she finished stating as she did jazz hands.

You stayed silent thinking over her proposal. You didn't really know if getting "redeemed" was actually possible but what better option did you have? Continue living on the streets? No thank you. You stood up and dusted off your pants before extending your hand out to her with a shy smile, trying to show that you'd like to take her up on her offer.

She squealed and gladly took you hand, shaking it wildly. "Oh my goodness that's amazing!! You're my first recruit!!! Well besides Angel of course...oh never mind! I'm so excited for you to come! Here come with me we can go right now! Oh! Here let me carry your bag for you too!" she rambled excitedly.

You simply laughed at her and helped her with the bags as you followed her out the alley, before she stopped."Oh wait I'm so sorry I didn't get your name."

You stiffened and stopped walking, you opened your mouth to try and say something but had no luck. 'Dammit' you thought

She looked at you puzzled so you did something you hope you won't have to do again...you open your mouth to her and pointed to show her why you weren't answering her question.

She gasped a little and gave you a look of sympathy. It's easy to assume how this happened to you so she didn't ask anymore questions. "Don't worry I have an idea" she said softly as she took out her phone from her pocket and handed it to you with it unlocked, notes app ready to go. You typed slowly into the phone and then show it to her 'My name is YN'

She grinned happily before taking the phone back "Well Y/N its so nice to meet you! Let's get you to the hotel shall we?"

-----------------------------------------------------------

---Flash Forward to arriving to the hotel with Charlie---

Charlie burst through the doors of the hotel suddenly, eager to tell everyone the news about the newest resident. "EVERYONE GET TO THE LOBBY NOW I HAVE EXCITING NEWS!!" She yelled to an empty room.

Slowly a group of demons entered the room and gathered in the lobby space, expectedly looking to Charlie for her announcement. You saw 5 demons in total. "Everyone this is Y/N! Our newest resident!! Y/N this is Alastor, Sir Pentious, Angel, Niffty, Vaggie, and Hus-oh where's Husk?" Charlie introduced everyone one by one but then stopped, asking no one in particular.

The red deer like demon who you now know to be Alastor answered her "Oh I sent old Husker on an errand for me" His voice was filled with static like an old radio and had a tone of slyness to it.'He looks like a deer but sounds as sly as a fox' you thought to yourself.

"Oh okay no matter!" Charlie waved it off as everyone said hello to you then waited expectedly for you to return a greeting. But instead you simply waved shyly and looked at Charlie for help. "OH!"Charlie exclaimed, "I forgot to mention uh..." she hesitated "Y/N can't really talk. But no worries! I'll be going out later to get a phone for her to communicate and participate in our exercises!"

Majority of the group really didn't know how to react and just stood there looking at you with that same look of sympathy that Charlie did earlier. 'Is it sympathy or just pity?' you thought to yourself before Alastor broke the deafening silence, "Welcome my dear! In absence of our normal concierge allow me to get you settled in hm?"

With that Alastor guided you away from the others and thus started your journey to redemption.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You decided to mostly keep to yourself that day after Alastor got you settled in, besides you didn't know when Charlie would give you the phone to help with communication and you didn't really want to play charades to make conversation with anyone.

Despite you wanting to stay away from the others your stomach betrayed you, you had to get something to eat and drink or else you'd go mad. You slowly made your way out of your room and towards the lobby. As you entered the lobby you immediately noticed someone who you weren't introduced to before. 'Is this that Husker guy they mentioned before?' you thought to yourself. The person, or I guess cat in front of you is black and white with speckled gray here and there, a top hat and matching bowtie. 'Not bad looking'.

As you advanced further the cat stopped looking down the bottom of his beer bottle and instead looked in your direction, finally acknowledging your existence. "Who the fuck are you?" he scowled.

You were shocked for a moment but then scowled right back at him 'Who pissed in his drink' you thought, put off by his unprompted sour attitude.

He stared at you expectedly. But when you didn't responded he spoke again, louder than before "Are you stupid?? I asked who-"

Before he could finish Charlie interrupted. "Y/N! There you are I was just about to bring you the phone!"

'Thank goodness'

Charlie quickly walked over to you and presented the new phone to you. You gave her a grateful smile as you held the phone close to you.

"Haha you're welcome!" She responded before realizing Husk was still staring at you, annoyed. "Oh Husk I'm sorry this is our new resident Y/N! She arrived earlier today while you were out on an errand" Husk nodded. "Husk Y/N, Y/N Husk!"

"Nice to meet you Y/N" Husk mumbled grumpily, a bit embarrsed by his rashness from before.

Your smile faded as you awkwardly waved to him.

"Y/N you must be starving come let me show you to the kitchen!" you were grateful to Charlie for getting you out of that situation.

----------------------------------------------

As the day passed you ventured out of your room more and more frequently but gradually. You kind of developed a routine. You'd sit in the lobby and hang out with Angel on most days, sometimes Vaggie too. You'd converse with them as best you could then later at night when most everyone went to sleep you'd visited the bar for a drink. You were a bit embarrassed having to use a phone to talk to people, so if you could get away with it you wouldn't use it. Answering questions with a simple nod, shake, or shrug seemed to do the trick a lot of the time. Often when you talked to Angel and Maggie you were comfortable enough (and they were patient enough) to allow you to use the phone to have better, meaningful conversations with them...but other people....or cats.....weren't the same.

The first time you went to the bar Husk quickly asked you "What do you want?".

'Blunt isn't he' you thought. You didn't know what was available and didn't really care to go through the efforts of asking so you just shrugged.

"Dammit you'll drink whatever I give you then" Husk turned his back to you a muttered some other choice words before presenting you with a drink. You awkwardly had a few more then went away to your room.

Things continued like this for quite sometime, a month even. Every night you'd make your routine visit to Husk at the bar, have a mostly one sided conversation with Husk-throw in some nods and shrugs consume a handful of drinks the leave.

Husk wasn't use to people not trauma dumping their problems onto him. You didn't really open up to him at all. You'd get your drink and HE would be the one having to pry a conversation from YOU. Even when he'd ask you a bunch of questions to try and get to know you better the most he'd receive is a nod confirming his question, or shrug indicating what? It was none of his business. This annoyed him GREATLY. Man was frustrated. He wanted to get to know you, everyone else seemed to love you. You bonded well with everyone,..but him. You intrigued him.

One night you and Angel were having such a fun time hanging out in the lobby together. Your laughter even filled the room, and much to Husk's annoyance, his ears. Usually Angel had to work late nights with Val so he never joined you for your late night bar trips so this was the first time he was able to join you at the bar for some drinks. "Come on bitch lets go get wasted"

Husk stiffened, mentally preparing himself to be a third wheel in this conversation.

"Get us allll the drinks Husker! I'm finally getting this hot chick wasted" Husk rolled his eyes at Angel as you blushed at Angels confidence

"Alright alright, don't kill the poor girl"

"She can handle her liquor!" Angel laughed and turned to you, but you just shrugged.

You and Angel sat right next to each other, as close as possible so Angel can quickly see your responses on your phone as you typed.

After many drinks and jokes Husk was growing more and more irritable. He didn't know what you both were talking about and it was driving him mad that neither of you bothered to include him in the conversation. 'At least speak loud enough for me to eavesdrop damn...' he thought.

"Alright toots ill be right back I gotta take a piss, don't wait up have a couple more rounds" Angel said quickly as he winked at you before leaving to the bathroom "Keep her entertained whiskers!"

"Fuck off!" Husk yelled after him before he was out of sight from you both.

Now it was your turn to tense up. You were a bit tipsy now and it was growing harder and harder to communicate via typing with your agility becoming so discombobulated. Husk sighed and leaned closer to you. "Do you even know how many drinks you can have before you black out? Cause I'm telling ya right now I'm not carrying you to bed and neither is your long legged buddy after he's done" Husker teased and you responded with a small laugh and shrug.

Not as reactive as he would've hoped but it was still something.

Husk slipped another drink to you before asking his next question, "So, I hope you don't mind me asking...' he started much more serious "but how'd you wind up here? I know almost everything about everyone here, except for you. Ms. Mystery" Husk teased slightly.

You took out your phone and started typing a response to him sloppily and slower, much slower than usual.

Husk showed a hurt expression on his face before contouring it into anger and annoyance. 'Who the fuck just blatantly ignores someone like that??' Husk thought. "Listen if you don't want to talk to me just tell me there's no need to be a bitch about it!" He said angrily.

You stopped typing and looked up at him shocked.

"Don't act innocent now you just straight up ignored me! You can leave my bar for all I care! You-" Husk was growing louder and angrier by the word but before he could continue Angel came running over to you both.

"Husk why the fuck are you yelling at Y/N?!" Angel asked Husk glaring at him.

"Tried to keep her company like you said but this bitch just pulls out her phone and ignores me! Like I don't have better things to do than have a one sided conversation with her" Husk stated as if it was obvious

"Oh my god you fucking idiot"

"What??" Husk said growing even more annoyed. Oblivious to the situation.

"SHE CAN'T TALK YOU ASSHOLE"

"Huh?" His voice was significantly quieter now, almost not audible, "the fuck you mean she can't talk?"

"She's been here for almost a month and you didn't know she couldn't talk??? Are you stupid or just dumb??"

Husk didn't know what to say. He looked over to you and his heart broke. You were looking down trying not to cry in from of them. Angel followed his gaze to also notice the fight against your tears. "Look what you did you asshole" Angel glared at Husk before holding your shoulders, leading you away from the bar and towards his room "Come on Y/N lets go play with Fat Nuggets he missed you the other day"

'I fucked up.....' Husk thought to himself.

-------------------------------------------

Husk couldn't sleep at all that night. He felt so incredibly guilty for yelling at you like that, and even more for not knowing that you couldn't talk. How did he not notice it before?? No one is that shy. Why didn't anyone tell him? That's kind of an important detail to mention when you introduce someone. Then he remembered Charlie didn't mention it when she introduced them. 'Where's Charlie?!'

"Charlie!!" Husk said, almost yelling as he knocked aggressively on her door.

"Husk?" Vaggie said with a raspy morning voice "it's like 5 in the morning why are you knocking on our door like there's fire!" She was obviously irritated by being woken up.

"I need to talk to Charlie" Vaggie gave him a questioning look "Please, it's important" Husk practically begging? Vaggie woke up Charlie to talk to him.

"What's wrong Husk? Did something happen?" Charlie asked before yawning.

"Um, well. Not exactly. But I need to know something" Charlie looks at Husk confused as he stumbles on his words "Y/N can't talk?"

"HE DIDN'T KNOW Y/N CANT TALK?!" Vaggie practically yelled

Husk groaned as Charlie hushed her girlfriend.

"Ya I know im a fucking moron hahaha." He deadpanned, "Why can't Y/N talk????"

"Husk....Y/N had her tongue ripped out by an exorcist"

Husks face dropped even more than it already had, he felt like he was gonna throw up "What?"

"You really didn't know?? That's why I gave her the phone the first day I introduced you remember? She uses it to communicate"

Husk facepalmed and dragged his paw down his face "I'm so stupid." He hit his head "Stupid stupid UGHHHH"

"Why?? WHAT happened Husk?" Charlie insisted.

"I may or may not have yelled at Y/N because she was on her phone instead of talking to me?" Charlie's mouth was open from shock "I thought she was ignoring me...I don't know. I messed up"

"Royaly" Vaggie said.

How was he going to fix this?

----------------------------------

Over the next few days your normal routine changed. You ignored Husk as much as you could. He hated himself more and more everyday for the misunderstanding and wanted to apologize as soon as he saw you, make it up to you. But he never saw you.

Husk was at the bar late in the evening as Angel got back to the hotel from work and tried to pass him to get to the hallway. "Angel wait please"

"Wow never thought I'd hear you say please. What do you want Husk?" Angel said annoyed, just now noticing the bags he carried.

He could't help his curiosity "What's all that?" Husk questioned motioning to the bags

"Uhh its drinks for Y/N actually...since you know"

Husk felt sick again. Angel turned away to continue to the hallway "Wait let me bring those to her"

Angel turned to husk confused "Why the hell would I let you do that?"

"Please" Husk begged "I want to apologize to her but she's been avoiding me, let me do this, she'll answer the door and I'll make it better." Angel was hesitant and skeptic "Please, I'll owe you one'

Angels eyebrow raised "Tempting....fine here, don't tell her I approved this"

"Thank you" His quickly took the bag of drinks from Angel and went to your door.

'Okay Husk don't fuck this up'

*knock knock knock*

Husk could hear rustling behind the door. Then a few moments later the door cracked open and Y/N peaked her head out to check who it was. Upon seeing Husk there, in his tired form, Y/N's mouth made an O shape. "Y/N" he breathed "Can I come in please. I brought a peace offering" he referred to the booze.

Y/N opened the door wider for him, allowing him in her room.

He was instantly hit with the aroma of her scent. It made his fur stand up a bit straighter.

After she closed the door and took the offering away from him she looked at him expectedly.

"Listen uh. I wanted to apologize for yelling at you. I really am an idiot I genuinely, GENUINELY didn't know about your...situation." You broke eye contact with him for a moment but then you locked eyes with him again before he continued "Im an asshole. You didn't deserve that I just-just didn't know why you didn't talk to me like you did the others....You seemed to bond so well with everyone else but you never opened up to me. I just, I don't know"

This time you held up your finger, indicating for him to wait a moment. You took out your phone and typed 'So what you're saying is you were a jerk because you want to get to know me better?'

He laughed and shyly responded "Yeah basically"

'Lets. sit down and crack open these drinks. Seems like we have a lot of catching up to do' you typed to him and he blushed. Thank hell you were so understanding.

[formulakatya]

I CARE | TAA

“ooh, i care, i care, i care, like ribbons in your hair, my stomach’s all in knots, you got the one thing that i want”

summary: where jealousy gets the best of you, you can’t help but put yourself down and trent can’t stand to watch you do that to yourself

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x f1 driver!reader

notes: ferrari are back to their winning ways in this story and based off lacy by olivia rodrigo :) sorry i just love writing to songs. also wrote this because it’s 5am and i can’t go back to sleep so excuse the terrible writing.

warnings: none i can think off, unedited work

—

“OH MY GOD! oh my god! my first win in formula one!” you screamed over the radio, excited over the impressive feat after having seen the chequered flag first. “WE DID IT!”

“congratulations, (yn)!” your engineer laughed over the radio. “i’ll see you at the number one board!”

“you bet you will,” you smiled underneath your helmet as you pulled into the pit lane, the roars of your team being able to be heard as you stopped your car, climbing out to celebrate properly.

seeing them cheer and celebrate for you was a core memory you’d have forever, you were sure of that. seeing the ferrari crew clapping for you and cheering your name, you felt tears of joy form as you jumped off your car, running to them as they engulfed you in hugs.

taking off your helmet, you smiled as you received a pat on your back from your engineer. “couldn’t have done it without you, marco,” you smiled, “thank you.”

“it was all you, (yn),” he responded, “what a race.”

nodding, you looked in the background to see the rest of the ferrari crew cheering in their garage as they ran out to give each other hugs. confused, you looked at marco as you tilted your head, trying to figure out why the crew on charles’ end of the garage was celebrating in such a fashion when he had only finished in p6. “what’s going on?”

“oh charles just took the championship lead,” he replied, looking at your smile which slowly faded seeing how everyone had forgotten about your first win all of a sudden. “hey, don’t let that overshadow your first win. you did incredibly well and nothing can take that away from you.”

nodding, you laughed at how well your engineer knew you, reading your expression like an open book. “thank you, marco.”

walking away with your helmet and hans device in your hand, you took your weight on the scale, smiling at the fia official who congratulated you before waiting for your turn to get interviewed.

“and now, our winner here today, (yn) (ln)!”

chuckling as you heard loud roars and cheers coming from your pit crew and engineer, you smiled at oscar who handed the microphone to you.

“incredible job today, (yn), congratulations on your win! how does it feel getting your first win and how special does it feel being able to achieve that here in monza?”

“thank you,” you smiled, pausing for a while to come up with a good response. “obviously it always feels special coming to monza as it’s ferrari’s home race but being able to also achieve my first win here feels extra special. i’ve always dreamed of this day since i was young— taking my first win in formula one and it just feels incredible. and to take it in monza in front of all the tifosi makes this moment feels extra sweet.”

“and your teammate, charles, also just took the championship lead, how special does that feel for you knowing that ferrari are now leading the constructors’ championship?”

of course he had to bring charles up.

pausing for a while, you hesitated before speaking again. “yeah, it feels incredible knowing that we’re now leading, i mean the team has done an amazing job and they all deserve it. charles also deserves it especially after the season he has had so far so big congratulations to him as well.”

“right, thank you (yn)!”

—

sighing, you made your way to your hotel room tiredly, the sun now setting after having taken a long time with media and the team debrief, trophy in hand.

staring at the silverware, you couldn’t help but let out a deep breath.

you had made such an incredible achievement that day— taking your first victory in front of the home crowd in monza as a rookie in the sport, and yet all the chatter in the paddock was about charles.

to you, it felt unfair.

why was it always charles? why was it always him?

every single thing you did so far in this season had always been overshadowed by his accomplishments; when you had scored your first points in australia, when you had scored your first podium in silverstone. all of it had been upstaged by charles— be it him scoring a win or him simply scoring points.

you were frustrated, and rightly so.

the moment you had always dreamed of had been ruined and now it didn’t even feel remotely special. and you hated how you were jealous of the one person that had done nothing but treat you like family ever since you entered the team.

opening the door, you smiled upon seeing trent sitting on the edge of the bed scrolling on his phone. “hey,” you smiled.

“there you are!” he smiled, bringing you into a hug the minute you were within distance, “my formula one race winner.”

“yeah,” you forced a chuckle. at least there was one person who cared.

“hey,” he spoke, looking at you. “what’s wrong?”

“what do you mean?”

letting out a sigh, he shook his head as he watched you put your trophy next to your luggage. “i know you well, (yn), and i know for a fact something is wrong.”

“i just—“ you spoke, only to be cut off by your shaky breath. “why is everything i do never good enough to feel special?”

“hey, come here,” he motioned, bringing you into a comforting embrace. “what do you mean?”

“i mean, everything i do, no matter how big it feels is never special enough. at least i doesn’t feel special enough. it’s always overshadowed by something else and it’s just…” you choked on your tears that were threatening to spill out. “it’s just frustrating because no matter how hard i try it’s never enough. it’s just upsetting because no matter what it feels like i’m always second.”

silence filled the room apart from your shaky breaths as you rested your chin on trent’s shoulder as he took a while to think of something to say.

“i’m sorry,” he spoke, “i mean, i won’t say i know how it feels but i can imagine how bad it must feel but no one can ever take your achievements away from you.”

“maybe it’s just meant to be that way for me,” you sighed.

“love, don’t say that.” trent couldn’t help but feel for you as you sobbed silently in his arms, finally giving way to your emotions. “i get that it feels like your second always and everything you do is overshadowed but the truth is that there’s so many people that recognise your achievements and just how significant they are. maybe not ferrari, but i know for a fact the other drivers and teams do. and you’re good enough, more than enough, and if they don’t realise it, they’re a bunch of idiots. it’s frustrating to have your most special moments to be overshadowed by your teammate out of everyone, for sure, but that doesn’t mean what you’ve done isn’t any less significant.”

he paused, “no one can ever take it away from you— how special and talented you are and your achievements.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

[bordysbae]

7. "don't feel special that i’m here, my mom made me come." "mhm, sure." and 18. "I miss you" with Quinn? Something like the reader and Quinn used to be friends in love but there was miscommunication???

“the things left in ontario”

quinn hughes x reader

🦋 BORDYSBAE’S 500 CELLY

— ୨୧ —

quinns nhl debut is tonight, and you’re being dragged along by your mother. you’re not gonna deny a trip to vancouver, so might as well go. her and ellen have been best friends for forever, so you grew up alongside the hughes family. although you’ve lived in canada for all of your life, the hughes family was still a major part of your life even while they were living in the united states. but when they moved to canada, you were estatic.

you and quinn are the same age, so you two bonded more than anyone. unfortunately, when quinn left for michigan, your heart went with him. not only is he your best friend, he’s also more than that. he’s your first love, but he just doesn’t know it. you two have always been a little more than friends, and everyone just assumed you two are bound to get married.

that was until college rolled around.

when quinn was in michigan, he basically just stopped speaking to you. sure, when he came to visit in canada for the holidays you two spoke and acted as if nothing had changed, but you both knew things were weird now. part of your heart shattered seeing quinn so far away with little contact. unfortunately when you stopped texting first, that lead to no texting at all. you’ve collectively decided to avoid quinn the best you can, and it’s been working. that’s until your mom and ellen decided to drag you to his debut.

you’re sat in the stands with a blue jersey loosely hanging off your body, and the crowd is screaming loudly as the boy appears on the ice. his lap begins, and ellen is cheering louder than anyone in the building. a small smile forms on your lips as quinn skates around the ice, but you quickly purse them.

“you’ve gotta admit y/n, you’re proud of him,” your mom nudges you.

“i mean yeah, we’ve talked about this day for years, but i just wish things weren’t the way they are,” you shrug while watching the boy shoot loose pucks into the net, as his debut lap comes to an end.

eventually the game finishes, and you’re all excited to see quinn. he comes out with a big grin on his face, but it drops when he see’s you. after hugging everyone else, he pulls you into a very very loose hug.

“y/n, hey,” he awkwardly smiles

“hi quinn, congrats,” you half smile before immediately walking away.

—

at dinner, you and quinn are accidentally placed across from each other at the table. at this point everyone knows about your falling out with quinn, but no one knows just exactly what happened. not even you two. you avoid eye contact with quinn all night, but on the way out of the resturant he stops you. “y/n, thank you so much for coming. it means a lot,”

“yeah don’t feel special my mom made me come,” you half jokingly say. you’re both uncomfortable and upset, so the last thing you want is to talk to the boy who unknowingly broke your heart. but you don’t want to be overly forward with your feelings, so sarcasm is what’s best in this situation.

“mhm sure. i saw you smiling and clapping during my lap,” he chuckles nervously.

“yeah yeah whatever quinn. nice finally talking to you for once,” you forcefully smile and turn around. suddenly his hand on your shoulder stops you.

“what? what’s that supposed to mean?”

“are you serious quinn? you don’t even realize that you just straight up stopped talking to me? we haven’t talked in months quinn! you give me a few of your hoodies before you leave for michigan then just ditch me? we almost kissed that summer, quinn!” you quietly yell at the boy, trying not to draw the attention of everyone else in the parking lot.

“i just, i don’t- fuck y/n. there’s no excuse for what i did, but i really just thought you didn’t feel the same. you were so flirty with that guy the summer before i left, so i thought it was best to leave things in ontario,” he sighs while rubbing a hand through his hair.

“i’ve been waiting and waiting for things to go back to how they were, but nothing ever did. you’re in vancouver doing god knows what with god knows who, while i’m here mourning a friendship that you clearly don’t care about! hell quinn, we’ve always been more than friends and you know that!”

“oh will you just shut up,” he groans before kissing your lips. you’re taken back by his forwardness but kiss him back as soon as you realize what’s going on.

“i’m sorry i left us behind when i moved, but i promise it meant so much more than you know. i miss you, y/n/n.”

“i miss you too quinny.”

[thesupreme316]

You know what I am in need for. A HOOK fic about his reaction to the reader being in the woman’s royal rumble and winning or getting eliminated

I GOT YOUUUU

Hook's Reaction to You in the Royal Rumble (Hook x Fem!Reader):

Genre: Fluff and Angst headcanon

Summary: How Hook would react to you being in the Royal Rumble

Word Count: 821

Supreme Speaks: OKAY SO, i decided to do a headcanon reaction only cause I couldn't decide. i hope that was okay. Anyways, i hope the anon who requested this likes it and so does everyone else. like always my requests and inbox are open to all. ALSO, i hope everyone is doing well and remember you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: slightly proofread

Taglist: @hooks-martin @wwenhlimagines @triscillal @sheinthatfandom @diabloguapos

Imma do both

Dating Hook (Tyler) would be everything I said in this post (shameless plug)

However, I feel like he would be more protective of you due to you being in the WWE

He would hate the distance and the fact that your schedules didn’t align with each other

But when he heard that you would be in your first royal rumble

He immediately told Tony that he had to be there to support you

I mean it’s your first major pay-per-view, it was pretty exciting

Especially after a great year of wins and championships in NXT

Many people anticipated you to win and go on to Wrestlemania

Anyways, Tyler would get on the first plane to San Antonio with Ricky Starks (who was there to support Cody Rhodes)

Tyler was dripped out in your merchandise (most likely a hoodie)

He made sure you were warmed up; helping you with stretches, giving you a pep talk

He watched the match with you until you were given five minutes

You kissed him and walked over to the gorilla and waited for your music to start (you were #30)

As your music hit the arena, the crowd went wild as your music shocked them and your opponents

Then, what happened next would shock you and go down in your career

Winning the Royal Rumble:

You started to whoop everyone’s ass upon entering the ring

Rhea, Liv, Nikki, everyone caught your hands

Tyler was smiling from ear to ear as you suplexed people left and right

Ricky looked over at him and started to clown him

“Awe, lil Hook is in love! Look at the hearts in his eyes”

“Shut up before you’re suplexed”

Hook was taking videos of the screen and posting them to his private story

After you eliminated 4 competitors, it was just down to you and Rhea

The crowd was loud for both of y’all, making the floors shake

You circled around each other before coming to blows

After fighting and close calls for ten minutes, you dumped Rhea over the top rope with a dropkick

The crowd cheered loudly, standing on their feet and congratulating you

While you were crying and yelling with happiness, Tyler was backstage dapping Cody and Ricky up

A smile stretched across his face as he clapped loudly and said “That’s my baby”

When you made your way backstage, you immediately hugged and kissed Tyler

Who kept whispering “I’m so fucking proud of you” in your ear

You smiled and thanked him before going around the room and thanking everyone else in the room

Later that night, Tyler uploaded a picture of you pointing to the Wrestlemania sign with a heart and the caption “my lil winner/future champion”

Getting Eliminated:

As it came down between you and Rhea, you felt yourself growing tired

Even though you entered at #30, you wrestled for 45 minutes

You hoped no one could tell but one person did and that was Tyler

Backstage, Tyler grew silent as he analyzed your moves

He noticed you were moving sloppier and slower and he grew worried

You would try to fight Rhea back, it was difficult seeing how she is one of the strongest members of the roster

Ricky and Cody kept telling him “She’s fine, she’ll be okay”

He knew that but he couldn’t help his feelings

Tyler looked back up at the screen, just in time to see Rhea do her finisher on you and then dumped your body over the top rope

He sighed and his heart shattered as he saw your limp body become a little ball

You looked up at Rhea celebrating with tears in your eyes

On one hand, you were happy that your friend would get her Wrestlemania moment

On the other, it was your time for success and happiness; You did everything you could just to be entered the match but came up short

You started to beat yourself up mentally as you were making your way backstage

Tyler immediately hugged you as you silently cried

He rubbed your back and whispered “You did great sweetheart. I’m so fucking proud of you either way. You’re gonna get to Wrestlemania by yourself.”

After leaving the arena, he took you to your favorite fast-food spot to cheer you up

As you sat in the parking lot eating with Tyler (who was going on about how he’s gonna kick Big Bill’s ass), a smile was placed on your face as you remembered what he has done for you

This man called out of work, traveled thousands of miles, and took you out all because he loves you

Even though you lost the match, you felt like a winner cause you are able to say Tyler is the best boyfriend you could ever have

Overall, Hook is that boyfriend who loves you and who will support you win or lose, rain or shine

[titikawai]

Why show Polin disappointed me :

Hi everyone, back on another long as rant. I just finished this season and felt betrayed so I decided to type !

I read the 4th book not really knowing what to expect as I boycotted season 1 (left traumatised from reading half of the first book) only watched season 2 (which I love so much) and didn’t like the Queen Charlotte season (sorry not sorry).

To be fair, when I started reading the book, I couldn’t care less for Polin as I did not like the way show Colin treated Penelope like a dog, only there to make him feel better about himself. I had hopes that Penelope would run away to find a better suiter after that terrible finale on season 2. I actually loved the way Eloise confronted her about being LW and the fact their friendship is challenged.

Even though I heard Colin was going to be an ass in this book I still gave it a go. I was surprised and ended up loving the book so much I bought it to put it on my shelf. I found out that, in the novel, Colin was way less of an ass and a much more sensitive character that sometimes did not understand his own feelings. I absolutely loved the plot involving his jealousy towards Penelope’s writing in comparison with his own. I understood his fear to become a nobody, to not find his purpose or something he would be « good at », known for. His need to prove himself to his family and others that he is more than a pretty face.

I also loved how fervently Penelope defended her work as an extension of herself, someone she wanted to be, had always been but was to scared to be in real life. I loved how the book explained how one would feel if they had never received loved and thought they were doomed to never get it so much so that they do not even try anymore.

Finally, I loved how pure their loved felt. In that regard how their relationship was more love than lust (even though there was still some heavy smut scenes). I loved how they did not just f*ck, but MADE love! I felt like their relationship wasn’t the « passionate » type which to me is a good thing because it means you love the person much more than you love their body that you worship because of the soul that inhabits hit. I felt like Polin was the perfect couple as they completed and accepted each other (apart from that scene where he grabs her by the arm and every mention of anger management like WTF stop giving main male characters toxic traits to try and make it seem hot to the audience, it is not). Also, I especially loved how Colin made it his priority to protect Penelope and especially her emotional state. He is often portrayed fearing for her reputation as he does not want her to isolate herself and go into a pattern of self hatred. He hates the way she speaks ill of herself and will not let anyone, that involves her mother, to disrespect her.

I now realised why I didn’t like show Polin as much as book Polin : it is because Show Colin has nothing in common with his book alter ego. In the show, Colin didn’t even realise how bad he hurt Penelope and managed to rekindle their friendship by telling her how SHE make HIM feel (here again taking the spotlight from her and drawing it to him) and not how much he cared about her well-being and self-image.

I absolutely hated how they turned Colin into just another rake turned right by the « ugly girl who had a makeover and that he now notices because of that particular reason and how fuckable you now look ». This storyline should have stayed in the 2000s ESPECIALLY with Polin. Indeed in the book Colin gets feelings for Penelope once he grew up and became more mature enabling him to love someone. While Penelope matured and started to loved herself and that helped her accept love from someone else and expect nothing less.

In the series, I hated how helpless Penelope felt. Firstly because she did not clap back to haters as she did in the book but also because Colin did not come to defend her once. He didn’t not care to stand up to Cressida or his friends / the gentlemen when they insulted Penelope. Wouldn’t you stand up for anyone if they were insulted and ran of crying!? ESPECIALLY if you are supposed to be in love with her. He did not care to embarrass her before a room full of people and her potential future husband while he could have just asked to see her in person (this element was added for drama but still gives huge red flags)

I hate how they turned Colin’s passion for travelling into a joke or a metaphor for sexual tourism. This only makes him appear more shallow (even though he came up with gifts for his family which I found cute). It makes it seem like him travelling is just an excuse to appear deep in society and this gives such fratboy vibes it almost made me ill. Where is the poet, the writer who paints landscapes in his mind and puts it on paper! He was turned into a smut writer!!!! How disappointing!

Why is it that he didn’t get to find out LW’s identity before he asks Penelope to marry him?!? What about their common love for writing? Him wanting to marry her anyway because her being LW makes him love her even more : because he loves her for her, their relationship and not because he had wet dreams of her. I wish they put in scenes where they had openhearted conversations about for instance : her feeling bad because of her spinster status, how she is scared no one will ever love her; his writing; his quest for purpose and put in none of that rake or Lord Debling/husband nonsense they created because they needed to fill a whole they dug!

Oh and WTF was that carriage scene music choice!?!?!???!!!!!!?? I cringed so hard. I liked the carriage scene overall even though I didn’t like the events that led to it

On what I loved…

I ugly cried when Portia was surprised her daughter ever believed someone would love her and refrained from holding her when she desperately needed a hug => if you are the child of a narcissistic mother, this hits so freaking deep

I loved Francesca’s storyline with the earl!!! It was genuinely sweet

I loved seeing Show Colin jealous

The modiste!!!! I love lady Delacroix so much and would have liked to see more of her friendship with Penelope. She could have helped her boost and confidence past the physical makeover level

I liked Cressida’s backstory and the comment on internalised misogyny

Wished there was more Penelope / lady Danbury moments

Loved Penelope’s sisters and her mom. I like how they portrait her toxic relationship with her daughters by focusing on her small remarks (it makes it much more realistic)

Kanthony

Wished Polin dance scene on Snow on the beach lasted longer to show their attraction without needing to make it too sexual (the eyes are the door to your soul)

Costumes, décors etc. As always

Weirdly enough, the first kiss scene

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[shiningwonderland]

Otoya Ittoki (Repeat)

Translator: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Editor: Mae (Twitter: itoshikimaegirl)

QA: Rei (Twitter: wolfe_raine)

True Love Ending — Musica that Transcends Love

The moment that Otoya-kun starts singing, the crowd goes wild.

Everyone's moving their bodies to the beat, clapping their hands, and having a great time.

I feel the core of my body heating up and my adrenaline pumping, so much so that I feel like I'm going to start moving at any moment.

That's the kind of song he's singing. Everyone in the hall beams with delight.

There were some performers who were breathtakingly good at singing. There were other songs where the audience would be so moved that tears would fall from their eyes. At other times, the whole audience would stand up in applause.

Everyone's giving it their all because we're all aiming to debut. The audience can feel that intense passion. 

But Otoya-kun… He's the only one who's not trying to put on airs. He's singing from the heart. 

In turn, the audience has livened up and are smiling. 

Of course, we'll be expelled and chased out of the entertainment industry if we don't pass.

But… That doesn't matter.

Otoya-kun is enjoying singing. He's thoroughly entertaining the audience.

Once he finishes singing, cries ring out and there's a roar of applause.

Otoya Ittoki: Thanks, everybody!

Otoya-kun answers with a bright smile, earning him another cheer from the audience.

Otoya Ittoki: Haruka! Come on, let's go! I want to hear the results together!

Even though he has just finished singing, Otoya-kun runs backstage to me and reaches out his hand.

Haruka Nanami: Yeah!

Without hesitation, I take his hand and run to the stage with Otoya-kun.

While waiting at the corner of the stage, we hear that the last person has finished singing.

We quietly wait for the announcement.

The winner of the graduation audition is decided by a group of nine judges, including the principal, and votes from the audience.

The nine judges can give up to ten points each.

The audience votes for the student they believe had the best performance. The student who receives the most votes from the audience gets 10 points, the student with the second most gets nine points, so and so forth until tenth place.

Then the person with the most points total wins. The winner becomes a new idol in the Shining Agency whose next goal will be to become the top idol.

For the students who don't get first place, any student who scores over 85 points can join Shining Agency.

Also, there are employees from other agencies who have come to watch the audition…

For example, even if there are students who don't get into Shining Agency, there's a chance they can be recruited into a different agency.

However, in our case, if we don't win, we can't debut at all.

I'm so nervous waiting that I feel like I'm going to faint from my heart pounding out of my chest….

The warmth from Otoya-kun's hand holding mine gives me strength.

Shining Saotome: The winner of this year's graduation audition is…

As he speaks, he surveys everyone in front of him.

Oh please, please let us win!

We grip each others' hands tightly and pray.

Shining Saotome: Otoya Ittoki!

Otoya Ittoki: YEEEAAAH!!! We did it, Haruka! We won!

Haruka Nanami: Yes! We… we won!

Ringo Tsukimiya: Congratulations! I was so moved by how good the song was. Your song was bright and open just like you, Oto-kun!

Ringo Tsukimiya: I felt warm from the bottom of my heart  and I wanted to support the love between you two. I could feel how much you love her right here in my chest.

Ringo Tsukimiya: For some reason, when I was listening to your song, I recalled my first crush. My love for her was so bittersweet.

Ringo Tsukimiya: But I couldn't stop feeling so excited! That feeling of pure love revived in me and I felt my chest getting hot.

Ringo Tsukimiya: You're such an odd couple. I'm not saying that out of spite, mind you, you two are a great match. Your refreshing attitude came through the song!

Ringo Tsukimiya: Get along and do your best forever and ever, okay?

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

Shining Saotome: You pass for now! Ahh, your song was full of heart!

Shining Saotome: This song was meant to be first place! You're one impressive guy, but this is where the real challenge begins.

The principal pats Otoya-kun on the back.

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, I know!

Shining Saotome: Come to my office later. I need to speak with you.

He whispers in Otoya-kun's ear, then returns to center stage to begin his speech to conclude the ceremony. 

Shining Saotome: Occupied!

Haruka Nanami: Excuse me.

Otoya Ittoki: Excuse me!

Shining Saotome: To start things off, congratulations on your victory!

Shining Saotome: Everyone in the hall could agree that MISTER Ittoki's song was fantastic, BUT you couldn't have achieved that alone.

Shining Saotome: MISS Nanami, you were able to bring out MISTER Ittoki's full potential because you composed the song! You are a great pair!

Haruka Nanami: T-thank you.

Shining Saotome: BUT it's still too soon to relax. This is where things start getting tough.

Otoya Ittoki: You're not going to tell us to break up again, are you?

Shining Saotome: … No need to worry, I won't say that ever again. I'm sure that you two won't end up going down the same path I did…

Ah, the principal is talking normally again…

Otoya Ittoki: I knew it. Something happened to you, huh?

Shining Saotome: Yes, but it was far in the past.

Otoya Ittoki: Will you tell us?

Shining Saotome: Okay, I'll tell you… Before I debuted, there was a woman I loved, and she loved me back.

Shining Saotome: But… when it was decided that I would officially debut, my agency told me that I needed to put my personal affairs in order.

Shining Saotome: An idol is not only meant to be looked up by people, they are also meant to fuel people's dreams. Most importantly, they must be every fan's lover. You understand that, right?

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, I get it.

Shining Saotome: Yes… You can't exist just for one person. That restriction was much stronger back in the day.

The principal looks far off into the distance, as if his heart is far in the past.

Shining Saotome: I worried about what to do, and ended up choosing my dream over my lover.

Shining Saotome: At the time, I was engrossed in my songs, the heat of the spotlight, my connection with the audience… I just couldn't let go after getting a taste of it.

Shining Saotome: My heart fluttered every time someone would praise my music. I kept thinking how I wanted more and more people to listen to my songs. 

Shining Saotome: That's when I realized… she noticed too.

Haruka Nanami: What happened to her?

Shining Saotome: When she recognized that I chose my dream over her, she disappeared. I don't know where she is now.

Haruka Nanami: Oh no…

Shining Saotome: My debut song "Ai yue ni…" is about my feelings for her.

Shining Saotome: The composer was credited to be me, but she was the one who wrote it. She gave the song to me.

Shining Saotome: It was born from weaving our love together. The song was the miracle of love.

Otoya Ittoki: Is… that so… That seems like us…

Haruka Nanami: Yes…

Shining Saotome: I didn't want my students to go through the same pain I did.

Shining Saotome: When you are stuck between your dream and your love, you will suffer. No matter which one you pick, the only thing waiting for you is hell.

Otoya Ittoki: Hell…? That's how much pain you went through?

Shining Saotome: Yes… After she left, I tried to forget her by drowning myself in work.

Shining Saotome: But I couldn't fill in the hole that opened up in my heart and my heart still yearns for her.

Otoya Ittoki: Then why don't you search for her?! There's no one to stop you from loving her now!

Shining Saotome: Even now, I'm still looking for her, but there's only a slim chance that she's still alive. Fifteen years ago, she was in a plane crash…

Otoya Ittoki: Fifteen… years ago?

Otoya-kun whispers in shock.

Shining Saotome: There is some hope because her body was never found, but…

Shining Saotome: There's a very low chance she survived.

Otoya Ittoki: …

Shining Saotome: Why didn't I choose her that time? If I chose her, maybe she would've never ended up in that accident.

Shining Saotome: I kept regretting and regretting, and I'm still regretting my decisions even now. 

Shining Saotome: I don't want you two to suffer like me. Love creates dreams, but dreams obstruct love.

Shining Saotome: If that's the case, then one shouldn't love in the first place. You might as well not allow love until the situation permits it. 

Shining Saotome: I thought that I should prohibit love to prevent any blunders caused by young naivety like what I did in the past. 

Shining Saotome: But instead, you two faced that hell head on.

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, it was no big deal.

Shining Saotome: Foolish little boy! But anyway, you did well.

Shining Saotome: No matter what trials I put you through, you defeated them all! … So that's why I wanted to gamble on you. 

Shining Saotome: If I had the guts to attain both my dream and love, then the result may have been different.

Shining Saotome: I realized for the first time, seeing you two, that there aren't just two choices–there are actually three.

Shining Saotome: It's not about choosing your dream or love, it's about winning them both. That choice existed from the beginning.

Shining Saotome: If you manage to overcome all of that and achieve happiness, I'll take away the rule that forbids romance.

The principal grins. 

Haruka Nanami: Principal…

Otoya Ittoki: It's a promise, old man.

Shining Saotome: HA HA HA! You better keep your promise!

Ah, he's back. It's the usual principal again.

Shining Saotome: AND this is a farewell gift from me!

The principal gives us an envelope.

Otoya Ittoki: What's this?

Shining Saotome: HA HA HA! It's a travel ticket!

Haruka Nanami: Travel…?

Shining Saotome: Once spring vacation is over, you're going to go on production.

Shining Saotome: Once you're a professional, you'll be too busy to go on trips. So…

Shining Saotome: You should enjoy your spring vacation while it lasts!

Haruka Nanami: Thank you!

Otoya Ittoki: Thanks, old man!

Shining Saotome: HA HA HA~! It's the springtime of life!

Shining Saotome: I think you two will be able to achieve the dream that I couldn't.

Shining Saotome: Achieve happiness and take hold of your dreams and your love! Understand?!

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah!

Haruka Nanami: Yes!

We depart for our trip the day after graduation.

In the early morning, the train is empty. There's no one in the car but us.

Otoya Ittoki: This train is so nostalgic!

Haruka Nanami: Ah, that time… You really saved me that morning before the entrance ceremony. Thank you very much!

Haruka Nanami: If you didn't save me then, I have no idea what would've happened…

Otoya Ittoki: I was so worried about you because you were acting strangely. I didn't imagine you were going through that.

Haruka Nanami: … But that was how we met.

Otoya Ittoki: No, that's not how we met.

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

When did we first meet then?

Otoya Ittoki: Ohh, you probably don't know this, but I met you during the entrance exam.

Haruka Nanami: The entrance exam?

Hmm, I can't remember.

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, it was a snowy day. I was so worried because I'm not that smart. I was about to give up.

Saotome Academy has a day for auditions for the practical exam, as well as a paper entrance exam.

I went to go take the exams but the snow piled up from the day before, so it was difficult to reach the exam site.

Otoya Ittoki: You were on the slope right in front of me, Haruka. You were clumsy back then, too!

Otoya Ittoki: You tripped on the snow and slipped back down the slope, but you weren't discouraged.

Otoya Ittoki: You kept trying and trying. Every time you took a step, you would trip on the snow and slip back down, and yet you still kept attempting to climb the snowy path.

S-so he saw me that time… I remember now that I kept sliding back over and over, and would end up stuck in the snow. 

I finally arrived at the Saotome Academy after a great struggle, but… Wow, I'm so embarrassed now!

Otoya Ittoki: I was inspired after watching you! Normally, I would go help immediately, but for some reason I kept watching.

Otoya Ittoki: As I cheered you on in my heart, you finally managed to make it up the slope by yourself.

Otoya Ittoki: I was so happy for you and felt so encouraged! Then that day, somehow, my worries cleared up and I managed to pass the test with flying colors! It's all thanks to you.

Otoya Ittoki: Usually, I'm completely hopeless with tests, but that time, I felt enlightened!

Haruka Nanami: No, I didn't do anything… That's all you, Otoya-kun!

Otoya Ittoki: No, you did! If you weren't there, I probably would've failed. I'd always wanted to meet you again, and that day…

Otoya Ittoki: I saw you board the train wearing the Saotome Academy uniform. I kept watching you, wanting to talk to you, but then that guy started groping you.

Otoya Ittoki: That's when I thought I had to save you! After that, I was so glad to find out that you were in my class!

Otoya Ittoki: You even became my partner! I was so lucky!

Haruka Nanami: Is… that so?

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, it's kind of an embarrassing story. I assumed you didn't know all of this, so I kept it a secret…

Otoya Ittoki: I think I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. Of course, I love you even now!

He briefly pecks me on the cheek.

Haruka Nanami: U-um, we're on the train, so…

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, I know. I wouldn't do this if there were people around, but… we're the only ones here!

Haruka Nanami: N-no, you can't. Someone might see us through the window… This is too embarrassing…

Otoya Ittoki: Ahhh! I want to hug you so bad! But… it's okay, I won't do that.

Otoya Ittoki: Once we reach our destination, I'll give you all the hugs, okay?

He cracks a smile.

"Okay"? What is he going to do to me once we arrive???

Otoya Ittoki: The sea at night is extraordinary… It blends into the sky, making it seem that it's part of the stars.

He whispers to himself as he gazes at the dark ocean.

Haruka Nanami: Yes, but… if I look at it too long, I become scared that my heart may be swallowed by the night…

Otoya Ittoki: I get it, but… the night doesn't last forever.

Otoya-kun gazes at me gently.

Otoya Ittoki: Dawn will cut through the darkness of the night and shine through. The heart is no different.

Otoya Ittoki: You light up my darkness and give me hope, Haruka.

He speaks to me in a melancholy, mature voice…

It's on the border of boy and man–as if teetering on the edge of adulthood.

Before me stands a youth with a mature expression. 

Haruka Nanami: I… I'm not a light at all. I'm weak and fearful…

Haruka Nanami: Even now, I'm a coward who's afraid of melting into the darkness…

Otoya-kun pulls me in by my shoulder.

Otoya Ittoki: I won't give you up to the darkness. If you're scared, I'll be your light…

He confidently reassures me and gently kisses me on the cheek.

His arm around my shoulder is warm–his touch alone comforts me.

I feel like as long as he's with me, there's nothing I'm afraid of.

Otoya Ittoki: If you're going to melt, melt into me…

He hugs me from behind, just like he did back in May… but his embrace is much stronger and warmer than that time.

Haruka Nanami: Ah…

Otoya Ittoki: I won't let you go. If we melt together, we'll become one of the stars in the night sky.

He whispers into my ear and buries his face into my shoulder.

Haruka Nanami: I believe one day you'll become a star… a famous star.

Haruka Nanami: You'll surely become a renowned star with your singing that is second to none.

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah… I'll become a star… I want you to be by my side when that time comes.

He grabs my shoulders and turns me towards him.

Otoya Ittoki: But… only you… only your music can make me shine, Haruka.

Enveloped in Otoya-kun's tenderness, I gently close my eyes.

He softly kisses my eyelids.

Otoya Ittoki: Don't close your eyes… Always look at me… Don't look at anything else.

Haruka Nanami: … Yes.

Otoya Ittoki: Only look at me from now on… Nn.

Haruka Nanami: Nn…

My heartbeat melts into the sound of the waves and plays a unique rhythm. The music is endlessly overflowing from my heart. 

Otoya-kun is the same. He sings into my ear as he embraces me.

I sing along with him. The warmth of his arms wrapped around me is comforting as well, but…

We are melting into the music, which feels so much better–a moment of time I'll cherish.

Otoya Ittoki: I feel so strange… Music keeps overflowing from me when I'm with you.

Otoya Ittoki: The best way for me to convey how much I love you is not through words or kisses, but with my singing, isn't it?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I think so.

Otoya Ittoki: We're connected by song… by our music. Let's keep singing together forever, just the two of us.

Once we become professionals, we may not be able to spend such a peaceful time together anymore.

There are so many obstacles we have to overcome.

But I believe as long as we're together–as long as Otoya-kun is with me–we can solve anything!

I LOVE YOU!

Thank you for playing.

Fin.

[popcorngirl85]

Mad men Peggy in the year 2000

Peggy just wrapped up speaking at Princeton University. The graduates adored her speech. She had fifty of them follow her afterwards to Starbucks for an autograph.She was simply awestruck as they formed a line around her patio table as she sat nursing an iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel.She had those kids captivated by her words. Usually at the few college graduations she had attended (none of them her own),the kids and parents alike looked bored shitless,as an unsuspecting speaker droned on like Kevin's annoying teacher from the Wonder Years.Peggy received a ten minute standing ovation at the end when she quipped," If you don't like what's being said about you, change the conversation."She'd lifted that gem from a former boss and carried it around for years.She had the grads in stitches with the joke about the penguin,the intern and the priest that walked into the bar. Peggy hadn't thought it was that risque, pg-13 maybe.It was innocent compared to the garbage she heard daily while working as a girl friday on Madison Avenue forty years ago.The president of the college and several female board members were outraged,faces beet red with anger as she finished.

The audience and the students were still clapping enthusiastically as Peggy was asked to exit the premises immediately.Which was pretty much sucked for two reasons.One,was it really her fault that at least one college administrator was too idiotic and lazy to skim through her notes ?

They could have told her ahead of time what had to be edited out.Peggy's assistant had only faxed it to them three separate times.Two,she'd snuck downstairs earlier where the reception would be held and stole a peek at the terrific looking cake . The red roses on top were calling her name. Now she wouldn't get any.:(

Maybe it was Peggy's dark sense of humor or her no bs approach to life that got her into so much trouble. Or that for the past 60 years, every day had been a bad hair day.It always seemed to be women of her social standing and age that couldn't stand Peggy. She got along with older adults and younger people ,especially the gothic ones with the blue hair and all the piercings. They were usually kind of shy like she had been when she was young and her dad had passed away.

Peggy wanted to say to these woman, who pointed and whispered then split up whenever she came close," Hey gals, we are the same woman,different packaging.We play for the same team. I marched for woman's rights all the way to Washington, too. I still don't wear a bra but probably should have for gravity's sake.Let's work together and make something beautiful! "

Before passing away from breast cancer last fall.Joan, one of Peggy's fellow partners at the ad agency for almost three decades came up with a theory. When Joan was fading she hadn't wanted to chat about the horrible things the cancer was doing to her body, or what a bummer it was she wouldn't live to see her son get married.

So they talked about everything else." You are much too smart and intense for you own good. People,especially other women hate being showed up. That's why I always play dumb. Also with all your money ,your plaid clothes are (gasp) interesting.That is why I was so mean to you when we first started working together.I was threatened and scared you were there to take my job. "

It is so weird how relationships end up. Peggy had been one of a handful of folks who knew Joan was on her way out and not on an extended vacation in the Poconos like mostly everyone else had been told. Joan despised being pitied more than anything in the world.

Just then, Peggy made a decision not stew in a mass of self pity like she usually did. Who cared if a few politically correct strangers were mad at her. She was lucky.Most of the people from Peggy's old neighborhood were on assistance of some sort,three generations stuffed into an apartment the size of a walk - in closet.

Many of them hadn't graduated high school . Quite a few couldn't read. Everyone thought she arrived when they found out Peggy poured coffee for rich guys and got to pull the mail cart.

How blessed she was that one of the execs from middle management was impressed when she described the trashcan full of lipsticked tissues as a basketful of kisses. That Americans liked the Dunkin Donuts slogan she and a team of skilled professionals came up with. She had made her life a success story and nobody could take that away from her.

[lostinwoso]

Piggyback Ride (Alexia x Reader)

A/N: Made from this lovely request, hope you enjoy it! Part Two Confession

Watching Alexia walk out onto the field in her Kit, puts a huge smile on your face and the applause from the people in the stadium, fills you with proudness for the woman.

When she starts her speech, you can't help but keep your eyes on her at every word she says, how she can have such an amazing way with words will always be a mystery to you.

So deep into your thoughts you don't even notice that she finished her speech until the applause from the fans around the stadium breaks you out of them, starting to clap yourself, she catches your eyes, sending you a smile which you immediately return.

You were going to win this match for her, no matter how unimportant some people might think it is, because it's only a preseason tourney, you will win.

_______

When the final whistle blows, you let out a happy sigh, satisfied with the team performance and the win you managed to achieve. Walking around the field, you shake the hands of the opponents before celebrating with your own teammates.

After a while Alexia and the other injured players also came down onto the field to hang out with the team, you all talk in small groups to each other for a bit before you all decide it's time to go around the stadium to honor the fans.

Most of the girl already started walking towards the stands, you are about to follow until you look behind you and see Alexia standing there by herself, noticing the sad look in her eyes you make your way over to her.

"Hey, don't you want to join us?" You ask her with a smile on your face.

"I can't, I'm not ready to walk this much yet." Alexia replies with a sigh, obviously sad about her situation.

"Well, I asked if you want, not if you can. So, do you want to join us?" You question the captain again.

Alexia gives you a confused look, not really understanding what you think of right now, "I would love too, but how?" she counter asks you.

"Alright then, hop on." You say while turning around, leaning down, so she can get on your back.

"Uh, are you sure?"

"Yes, now come on, the girls and fans are waiting for the La Reina." You say, missing the eye roll the women behind you does at your words.

Feeling her arms on your shoulder, you carefully lift her up at the back of her thighs, making sure not to move her leg with the injured knee too hasty, "Is that okay?" You ask her, wanting to make sure she is in no pain and comfortable before you start moving.

"Yes.", with her confirmation you start moving towards the stands where you can already see fans holding out their phones towards you and Alexia, no doubt recording you two.

Arriving at the stand you speak up again, "Do you want to get down or stay on?", after a second of silence she replies, "I think it's better for my leg if I stay on, if that's okay for you?", due to her being on your back, you don't notice the light blush that's covering her face.

"Fine with me!" with that, you start talking to the fans, who are clearly excited to talk to the players of their favorite club.

Seeing the women with a big grin on her face, also puts big smiles on the faces of your by standing teammates. It's been a while since a genuine smile was on Alexia's face since her injury, so seeing her that carefree makes the day even better for everyone.

When a fan asked for a picture with you two, Patri walks over to where you both are to offer being your guy's personal photographer for the day, since it's kinda difficult to take a picture yourself with someone on you.

After the first picture was taken, the young woman speaks up with a chuckle, "So if I get injured, can I also expect a piggyback ride?".

"Nope, sorry. This service is reserved for our La Reina here." You reply to the younger girl.

"You need to stop calling me that." Alexia speaks up, giving you a playful slap on your shoulder.

"Ouch!" You pretend to be hurt, before turning to the fans, "Did you all see that? I'm being a nice person, carrying her around and this is what I get in return, WOW.". The fans can't help but laugh at the interaction, some even recording it.

The women behind you rolls her eyes at your antics before speaking up, "I'm sorry, here, would a little kiss make it better.", pressing a quick playful peck on the place she slightly slapped before.

"I'm healed again! Thank you, La Reina." You say in an exaggerated voice, causing another round of laughs from the fans.

Keeping walking down the stands, you stop every few steps, to spend some time with fans, giving them as much time as you can spare them. The entire time, big smiles are on both your faces. Alexia's because she can interact with the fans again with your help, and your smile is there mainly due to seeing her so happy right now.

You remember seeing her the first time again after her injury happened, she tried to cover her true feelings of being sad and scared behind a strong mask, but one look into her eyes told you everything you needed to know. So seeing her this happy and carefree right now is more than you could have wished for.

A whisper in your ear breaks you out of your thoughts, "Are you okay? You have been zoned out for a minute there."

"I'm good, ready to keep walking? I think I saw your mom and sister over there." You answer her, giving her a light pat on the leg to reassure her, that you are indeed good.

When you received the okay, you walk over to Eli and Alba, which unknown to you have been keeping their eyes the entire time on you both. "¡Hola!", "Hey!" you both greet them.

"¡Hola!" Her mother greets you back, excited. You fall into a conversation with her mother, not noticing the silent convo Alexia and Alba having right now.

Alba looks your way before looking back at her sister, sending her a teasing grin with a wink, resulting a blush that spreads around Alexia's face, mouthing to her a sister that she needs to stop.

The younger Putellas lets out a laugh at her sister's reaction, breaking you out of the conversation you were having with their mother, "What's so funny?" you ask, wanting to be involved if something funny happened.

When Eli notices Alexia blushing, a knowing smile appears on her face. She knows her daughters better than anyone, so she is aware of the feelings her older daughter has caught for you.

Realizing that no one has answered your question yet, Alexia clears her throat, answering, "Nothing, Alba just thinks that she is funny."

"I am funny!" The younger women exclaims, her and Alexia getting in a playful argument, making you and Eli let out a laugh.

After the two sisters were done, you said your goodbyes to her mother and sister, to talk to the few remaining fans waiting down the stand.

The last fans, were a group of younger girls, while signing some stuff for them, one of them speaks up excited, "Alexia, you are my favorite player!", the other little girls immediately agreeing. Alexia's grin gets even bigger, thanking the young girls. After taking a picture with them, thanks to Patri, you both make your way towards the tunnel, walking close to the stands, when Alexia notices the pout on your face.

"Why are you pouting?" She asks you.

"There were like 10 of them, and I wasn't even one of theirs favorite player." You answer, pout deepening, although not being really hurt about the situation.

Deciding to join in on your playful dramatic act, she asks, "Aw, is someone jealous?"

"Maybe a little."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, you are my favorite player." She states, a huge grin breaking out on your face. Meeting your teammates at the tunnel entrance, you speak up excited, "I'm La Reina, her favorite player!". The girls share a knowing smile between each other, which once again paints Alexia's cheeks red.

"Are you now?" Mapi asks in a teasing tone.

"Yep." You reply, a proud looking smile on your face, making your teammates laugh.

"Alright girls, it's almost time to leave, so get ready." One of the coaches speaks up.

Leaning down, Alexia gets off your back, "Alright, end station, I hope you had fun and enjoyed your time with the fans." You say as you turn around to face her.

"I did, thank you, I really needed that."

"Anytime." you tell her genuine, pulling her into a hug.

"I need to get changed now tho, see you at the restaurant?" You ask her as you start to walk backwards towards the locker room, reminding her of the team dinner that the team agreed on earlier today.

"Of course." She answers with a smile, happy that she still gets to see you later. You throw up a thumbs up before disappearing into the locker room.

An arm is thrown around Alexia's shoulder, a voice speaking up, "You are so gone."

Alexia turns her head towards Mapi, letting out a sigh, "I know."

[ptergwen]

you know that one scene in ffh when people keep knocking on the door while fury is trying to speak to peter? could you maybe do something like that but instead it’s peter and stark reader wanting some alone time (you can make it smut or fluff idm!) also, i am so in love with your work it’s amazing :)❣️

knock before you enter

w/c: 1.3k

warnings: implied smut, dirty jokes, swearing

a/n: i went a lil overboard because i was having too much fun :,) and i kinda combined the two i hope that’s okay!

-

you let out a breath of relief as peter finally presses his lips to yours. he grins at that, his hands continuing to roam your body while you kiss. it’s a needy kiss, one you’ve been waiting the whole day to share.

you’d thought europe of all places would give you the opportunity to explore each other more. you’re away from your overbearing father, you don’t have team responsibilities. there was one mishap with a water monster nearly destroying the city. you both managed to fight it off together. tony was right to make you bring your suit, and may encouraged her nephew to do the same. the stark’s and parker’s think alike.

most of the pestering you’ve faced this trip has come from your teachers and fellow classmates. whether it’s mr. dell assigning work or flash trying to film you two for a livestream, you and peter can’t get a moment alone. that’s about to change. you’re in peter’s hotel room after a fun yet highly supervised day in venice.

most kids are getting ready for bed, at mr. harrington’s request. he’s adamant on everyone having a good night sleep before the walking tour you’re taking tomorrow. you and peter plan to do everything but sleep, however.

“you taste like toothpaste,” peter mumbles against your mouth, arms winding around your back. “is that a good or bad thing?” you giggle and tug at his undone curls. that elicits a high pitched whine from him. “depends on who you ask. me personally, i think it’s sexy.” he’s laying over you on his bed, your fingers tangling in his locks. “open up, then,” you practically purr. peter happily obliges and resumes his kissing.

right when his tongue glides over your lower lip, there’s a knock on the wall.

“i thought you said ned wouldn’t be back…” your words trail off when peter starts to kiss down your neck. “for a while,” you add, softer. “he won’t. last time i checked, he was with betty,” peter replies and effortlessly finds your sweet spot. he nudges it with his nose, making a smile spread across your face. “ok, keep going,” you pull on the roots of his hair gently. peter pecks at your lips. “gotcha, baby.”

he’s kissing his way back to your sweet spot when there’s more knocking, this time much louder. with quirked eyebrows, peter detaches his lips from your skin. “um… hello?” he hesitantly answers. “finally. i was ready to come kick down your door, you idiot,” mj speaks through the thin wall. you squeeze your eyes shut in annoyance, not saying anything. “what do you want, mj? it’s late,” peter sighs back.

“so what? i know you’re not sleeping,” mj insists, leaning against the wall. “i can hear everything. hey, y/n.” peter’s face tints a light shade of pink. you make wide eyes up at him. “hi, i guess. you good over there?” her lips form a line. “i was until the horrendous sounds of parker clapping your cheeks disturbed my reading.” peter grips at your waist with a pout.

“what? we weren’t- i- i didn’t-“ “spare me the details,” mj sharply cuts in, opening whatever mystery novel she recently bought. “i don’t care what you do, as long as you do it quietly. deal?” seeing as peter is too flustered to speak, you take over again. “yeah, sorry. we’ll tone it down. goodnight, em.” “ciao,” she says before returning to her book.

peter shakes his head, fully burying his face in your neck. “that was embarrassing. she’s so…” “nosy,” you finish for him. your fingers brush back some hair that flopped over his forehead. “at least she’s not telling on us or whatever.” he puffs air out of his cheeks, placing a kiss under your chin. “true. you wanna pick up where we left off?” “ugh, yes,” you instantly groan.

your lips are colliding with peter’s again, just like that. it isn’t for too long. his hands settle on your stomach and under your shorts, then you hear someone banging on the door. they talk before either you or peter can tell them to fuck off.

“y/n, is that you?” brad questions, your face twisting in confusion. “uh, yeah. how’d you know?” peter bites the inside of his cheek while brad converses. “i stopped by your room. betty said you might be here… with him.” the him in question is peter, who chuckles bitterly. “what’s up, buddy? we’re kind of in the middle of something. i’m sure you knew that, too.”

“i didn’t, but thanks for sharing,” brad sarcastically responds. “y/n said she’d give me her notes on one of the da vinci exhibits.” peter cocks his head to the side. “she did?” he wonders, looking over at you. “you did?” “it was either that or help him myself,” you explain and drag your fingers along the back of his neck soothingly. “the kid doesn’t leave me alone.”

peter nods, wrapping a protective arm around your middle. “she’ll give you them tomorrow, brad. isn’t it past your bedtime?” “point taken,” brad scoffs and heads back to his room. you draw peter in closer to you. “thanks, pete. hopefully, that’ll be our last guest for the night.” he kisses both your cheeks with a grin. “where were we, mio amore?”

“ooh, i love it when you speak italian,” you giggle, peter cupping your face in his hands.“grazie, bellissima.” he winks and earns a puzzled face from you. “bellissima?” “that means beautiful.” instead of responding with words, you use your mouth to move on his. peter happily kisses back and lets your tongues intertwine. things quickly heat up, peter slipping your shorts down your legs and you lifting his pajama shirt.

you’re both only half undressed and running off broken up kisses, but so desperate. you part your legs for peter, his fingers hooking in the waistband of your panties. “think you can keep your oath of silence?” he teases and nips at your covered collarbone. “the real question is, can you?” you challenge. peter doesn’t get the chance to answer because the door suddenly flies open.

there stands ned, his mouth agape at the sight of a shirtless peter undressing you. you’re the first to notice. you see over peter’s shoulder and gasp. concern covers his features. “what is it, baby? do you want-“ “ned!” you whisper yell. his concern becomes shock. “you want ned?” “no, peter! he’s right there!” teeth sinking into your lip, you point behind him. peter looks and surely enough, there’s his best friend rendered speechless in the doorway.

“dude, what the hell are you doing here?” peter squeaks, you grabbing your shorts from next to you. he turns around to shield you while you put them back on. “aren’t you supposed to be with betty?” “we, um, finished,” ned gulps in response. “finished what- oh.” peter scratches the back of his neck as it hits him. “yuck, ned. a gentleman never tells.” “says you! this is my room too, you know,” he defends himself, you moving out from behind peter.

“and betty’s room is also mine. consider us even,” you hand peter his t-shirt with a satisfied smirk. he murmurs a thank you and throws it back on. ned uncomfortably shifts from foot to foot in the doorway. “that’s fair… are you leaving now?” “i should before mr. harrington makes his rounds,” you reluctantly decide. “i liked it better when people actually knocked,” peter says under his breath, standing to give you a goodnight hug.

“it’s not even this bad at home. i’ll take my dad and friday spying on us over a walk of shame any day,” you exhale as peter pulls you into his chest. hugging back by his torso, you give him an innocent kiss on the cheek. his lips brush your forehead. “maybe we’ll have better luck tomorrow. should we try again, same time?” a familiar and irritated voice yells through the wall. mj.

“please god, no!”

[ppersonna]

out of my league - knj | 01

you were out of my league. got my heartbeat racing. if i die, don't wake me, cause you are more than just a dream - out of my league, fitz and the tantrums

✹ summary- Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out about your years-long hopeless crush on him. And he most definitely was not supposed to find out about it in front of all your coworkers in a company-wide meeting.

✹ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

✹ pairing- kim namjoon x reader

✹ word count- 6.6k

✹ genre- angst, smut, comedy

✹ chapter warnings- swearing, descriptions of sex, sexual content, namjoon being a sexy flirt, jungkook being a himbo, awkward conversations, jimin being a protective bff

✹ a/n- hello and welcome to this fic thats lived in my google docs for almost a year now. without @ladyartemesia @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen and @chimoona, i would never have posted it. i truly owe so much of my brainstorming and creativity to their incredible brains and thoughts and ideas. i love them very much! i hope you enjoy this first chapter! please feel free to message me, talk to me abt anything!! im always here to chat. ILY!

MASTERLIST

Kim Namjoon was never supposed to find out this way.

You planned to confess your undying, unerring love for your coworker at a better time, a classier place. You would wear a dress that highlighted your features, hair cascading down your back, makeup done to perfection and spritzed with expensive perfume. You’d confess, he’d confess right back, and you’d live happily ever after.

You’d also dreamt that Kim Namjoon would have the slightest inkling of who you are before he finds out about your year long crush. He might know you as the mousy girl in the office who doesn’t talk and doesn’t contribute much other than some crunched numbers and apparently the best coffee brewer in the office. But you’d prefer he knows you well—your favorite colors and movies and foods, what makes you happy and sad; things future husbands should know.

You very much did not think it would happen in a company wide conference, full of over five hundred suit-wearing executives. You did not think it would be done by the office bully, Chungha, who carefully takes over the mic and speaks the words clearly as she presents awards of recognition.

“Congratulations to Kim Namjoon for 5 years with the company, over $4 million in revenue, and the object of ____’s lust and affection. I’m sure you two will have the happy life she’s written in her journal about. Make sure you celebrate with her today!”

The room is silent, so silent you could have heard a pin drop from a mile away. Your face is cherry red and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you whole. Your heart feels like someone has ripped it in half and you stare in horror at the girl smirking at the front. Is this what it feels like to be backstabbed? Namjoon looks perplexed—confusion written on his face as he gestures around to no one in particular like he’s saying ‘what the fuck was that?’

Awkward coughing and clapping begins and Namjoon stands to receive his award, a fine wooden fountain pen, and chances a glance around the room. He easily spots you, with your wide, frightened face. His look remains passive, not hinting what he’s thinking behind those stormy eyes, before he turns and sits back down at the table with his buddies from his department.

You seriously contemplate quitting your job. You could find a new one easily, right? Just stand up and tell your boss you quit and you’re out of there before Namjoon ever sees you again and you’ll never have to face the mean girl who’s ratting you out.

As much as the idea rolls through your head, you know you won’t do it. You love your job, love the security and finances it provides you, and you love to look at Kim Namjoon, all day every day.

You don’t understand where things went wrong.

( one month ago )

It’s 9:03 am. You finish brewing the coffee in the small staff kitchen and sigh at the aroma of the freshly ground beans. Coffee is your favorite meal, favorite time of day, favorite snack, and preferred beverage. You drink it constantly. You’re known as “coffee girl” at work, mostly because no one really bothers to get to know you beyond that. You drink coffee like it’s a devoted religion. You could drink a cup right before bed and still sleep like a baby. It was, put simply, your drink.

The office workers deem you to be the one to make the pots of coffee every morning, claiming you were the ‘best’. You didn’t mind—you preferred to make your own coffee regardless—but you believe your coworkers are trying to pass off the twenty-minute job to someone lower in the office hierarchy. And you were one step above the interns.

The coffee machine chimes to let you know it’s hot, and it’s ready for you. You eagerly pour a mug, a large one, and smile as the waft of freshly ground beans (by you, of course) fills your senses.

You nearly knock the cup out of your hand as Kim Namjoon strolls into the office, eyes set on the coffee.

You feel your throat swell up, like he’s an allergen and you’re caught without an epi-pen. Butterflies swirl in your stomach and you can’t stop staring at him. He pays you no mind, tired yet determined to pour a cup of coffee and get back to his office.

You stand in the small kitchen, clutching your coffee like a lifeline, and pray to god you don’t do something stupid.

Namjoon pours his mug, and you watch his muscular hands grip the coffee pot. He pours a hefty amount of cream and sugar into his cup—it appears even perfect male specimens have their faults. 

Your eyes dance on his face before they tango down his body. You wonder what he looks like in the morning, crawling out of bed with mussed hair and a sleepy smile painted on his face. He’d look at you and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl and kiss you deeply despite morning breath. Maybe he’d take you to the shower to press you against the tile as he fuc-

“Oh!” it startles Namjoon to see you, and the coffee in his hand swishes violently. “Didn’t see you there. Sorry!”

Your heart melts. He’s the picture of kindness and politeness. You recognize it’s been a few seconds and you still haven’t replied.

“It’s fine!”

“Great coffee, by the way,” he smiles. His teeth nearly knock you out cold with their brilliance. “Have a good day.”

He turns and exits the room without so much as a glance back at you. Your knees feel weak.

Kim Namjoon talked to you. He complimented you. He told you to have a good day. It’s the best and most significant conversation you’ve had with your secret crush.

You definitely file that away for another day when you need to reminisce on his compliment, and you scurry out of the kitchen towards your desk.

Park Jimin is waiting dutifully at your desk when you arrive, a smug smile still slapped over your features as you sip at your coffee. Namjoon spoke to you today—how lovely.

Jimin quirks an eyebrow. 

“What’s got you so perky this morning?” 

You’re normally quiet and passive, avoiding eye contact or any semblance of emotion on your face.

You look up at the blonde bespectacled boy. Park Jimin is the closest thing to a best friend in the company. He’s who you spend time with at lunch, see on weekends, and text often. You suppose he’s the closest thing to a best friend you have in your entire life.

You send him a smirk and lean in close to whisper. “Namjoon said hi to me today!”

Jimin sends you a pitiful look and pats your shoulder. Your best friend is well aware of your secret crush and while he thinks Namjoon is a nice guy, he thinks your crush is a little hopeless. He’s the most popular guy in the office, often has dates lined up every weekend. Jimin hears the way he and his friends talk in the break room. The man is definitely not hurting for female attention.

“Oh, honey,” he sighs, unenthusiastically. “That’s great.” He can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness over how excited you’re getting from a simple ‘hello’ from a coworker.

“I know, right? Anyway, lunch today?” You ask as you settle down into your cubicle.

Jimin pushes his glasses up his face and nods. “Of course! That’s why I came by this morning. I wanted to let you know that Jungkook from marketing will join us.”

You make a face, disgust etched in the lines creasing your forehead. 

“Why?”

Jungkook is well known in the company. He’s a loudmouth, a player, a clown, and everyone’s favorite comedian. He’s just not your favorite.

“Don’t be rude,” Jimin admonishes at your grimace. “He asked to join and well—he’s cute. I can’t say no to him.”

“Oh Christ, Jimin,” you groan. “Not you too! Don’t tell me you have the hots for the serial fuckboy?”

He blushes lightly and shrugs. “Maybe I do! Be nice to him today or I’ll eat all your chocolate ice cream I know you have at home.”

You stick your tongue out, petulantly. “Fine, now let me get to work or else Seokjin will be up my ass.”

Jimin smiles and kisses your cheek before he scurries away, back to human resources.

It feels as if barely any time has passed. You’re working hard, running calculations and updating spreadsheets. You have an eye for numbers, and losing yourself in an equation is just another day for you. You’re shaken from your cheerful place by a vibration from your phone, and a text alert popping on the lit screen.

jimin 12:01 pm- it’s lunchtime!! you better get your butt out here!

You smile and text back an affirmative reply, then move to grab your lunch from the company fridge. Gliding down the steps leading to the fresh outdoors, you meet Jimin at the lunch tables in the grass.

Jimin is sitting with Jungkook. You can recognize your best friend by his hair and glasses, and Jungkook by his obnoxious laughter.

“Hi,” you murmur as you sit down and open up the brown bag lunch you’ve brought.

“Hi!” Jimin is excited to see you, and just a pinch over eager to be sitting next to Jungkook.

“You know Jungkook, right?” Jimin asks, a harsh look in his eyes that reminds you to be on your best behavior.

You nod as you pull out a bag of grapes. “Oh, yeah, hey,” you smile. “I’ve seen you around.”

Jungkook delivers you a signature smirk and you feel yourself roll your eyes internally. “Yeah, you’re Coffee Girl, right?”

You pout and glare down at your brown bag lunch. Will you ever become more than just Coffee Girl?

“Yeah, I suppose that’s me.”

Jimin clears his throat to dismiss any awkwardness. 

“So, Jungkook, I hear you like working out? ___ likes to work out too. She drags me to the gym sometimes. Maybe we could all meet up sometime?” You don’t miss the hopeful lilt in his voice. Jungkook does.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrows a sexy look at you, rather—a look he thinks is sexy that you find off-putting. “What do you do at the gym? Little cardio sets with 5 pound weights?”

What an asshole.

“Sometimes,” you state as you take a bite of the homemade salad you handcrafted last night. “Most of the time I’m lifting heavy. I can bench 275 and deadlift 300.”

Jungkook looks taken back. “What, really?” He sounds breathless. “You lift more than Namjoon-hyung.”

At the sound of the love of your life’s name, you pause. Your face heats quickly and Jungkook smirks. Of course, he recognizes this and not Jimin’s obvious flirting.

“Why are you blushing?” He asks. “Did I say something?”

You’re quick to dismiss things. “Um--no. I just um,” you’re grasping at straws. “I’m hot.”

Jimin is trying not to laugh, hiding his mouth behind a petite hand.

Jungkook tilts his head. “It’s not even sunny today.”

You gulp. “Yeah, I must be hot. With a fever. M-malaria… probably.”

Jungkook snorts. 

“You have malaria? Bummer.” He picks at his nails. “I thought for a moment you had a thing for Namjoon.”

“No!” The retort is quick, too quick for normal conversation, and it gives you away.

“Aha!” Jungkook points an accusing finger at you. “You have the hots for him, don’t you?”

Your features melt, and Jimin tries to assuage the situation. “Jungkook, please don’t tell anyone,” he pleads.

Jungkook smiles at you. “That’s so cute. It’s like a little nerdy freshman crushing on the senior class president.”

You bury your head in your hands, suddenly unable to stomach any food.

“Jungkook,” Jimin’s tone becomes more firm, authoritative. “I’m asking you this as a friend. Please, don’t say anything.”

Jungkook holds his hands up to prove his innocence and waves his proverbial white flag. 

“Secret is safe with me,” he promises. “But it’s cute. I know him really well, you know. I could try to hook you two up.”

You blanch, unsure if you want Jungkook saying anything about you to the man of your dreams. 

“I’m good, but thanks,” you offer meekly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m going to head back to work, okay?”

Jimin frowns, knowing you’re feeling like a cornered animal, and nods. “Feel better, babe,” he sighs.

Jungkook watches as you leave and turns to Jimin. “Man, he’s way out of her league.”

Jimin slaps the boy in the chest. “Be nice, asshole, that’s my best friend.”

Jungkook promises to be nice, and Jimin is blissfully unaware that others are listening and that the man beside him is easy to persuade.

( present day )

The company-wide meeting adjourns soon after what is likely to be the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever lived through.

You’re grabbing at your things and trying to run out of the room, desperate to get out before anyone sees you or talks to you or laughs at you.

A hand grabs at the coattails of your suit jacket and you’re pulled backwards with a yelp. You turn to seek your captor and find the concerned face of your best friend, Jimin.

“Are you okay? What the fuck just happened?”

Jimin’s concern makes it all real. Until now you could pretend you were in a fugue state, totally dissociated from reality. Now, you realize that everyone in the entire company is aware of your crush on Kim Namjoon.

You can feel your bottom lip wobble, tears threatening to spill. Jimin murmurs an ‘oh shit’ and drags you out of the large room and into the nearest bathroom. He pushes you to sit against the sink and passes you toilet paper to dab at your eyes.

“I don’t know how she found out!” you cry. “God, I feel so stupid and embarrassed.”

It incenses Jimin. He’s holding it back to ensure you’re okay, but in reality, it’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen. He’ll find who did it and punish them accordingly.

They will suffer. 

“It’s okay, babe,” he pulls you into a hug. “Everyone will forget about it soon. They’ll think it’s just a lame office joke, okay?”

You nod, feeling the slightest bit comforted by his words. 

“How could she find out, Jiminie?” You ask with a sniffle. “You’re the only person who knows.”

Jimin sighs and shakes his head.

“I don’t know, but they’re dead. I haven’t told any-... oh, my god,” Jimin stops suddenly. You look up at him to catch what he’s thinking.

He growls and balls his fists. 

“Jungkook knew.”

You let out a sob and bawl your eyes out into the tissue you’re holding. Jimin holds you tighter while he conjures up a hundred different ways to hurt someone and make it look like an accident.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin sighs, trying to comfort both you and himself. “I’m HR. I have to handle this. I’ll make sure they get what they deserve.”

You feel a sting of pain for Jimin. He’s been hopelessly doting on the man who spilled the beans for a few months now, even got to take him on a few dates. It was still nothing serious, but Jimin was clearly smitten.

“I’m sorry you have to do that, Chim,” you whisper. “I know how you feel about him.”

“Yeah, well,” he swallows thickly. “You’re more important than any asshole.”

Jimin holds you tight for a few minutes longer, before you clean yourself up and steel yourself. Ignore everyone, Jimin encourages. Just get to work, he says. Then you can go home and we’ll drink wine and forget about it all, he promises.

You replay his words in his head like a prayer as you walk down the corridors and towards your office. Everyone in the hallways stops to stare at you. They lean towards their friends and whisper. You hear snippets of their gossip, like “Namjoon” and “out of her league”. It drives the sharp blade lodged in your chest even further. It threatens to collapse your lungs and break your ribs.

You make it to your desk safe and sound and bury yourself in work and forcibly ignore the gawking and the stares. 

Just make it home. Just get through the day. You’re almost there.

You could do this.

You nearly make it the entire day before running into the one person you didn’t want to see, Kim Namjoon.

At the end of the day, you’re taking the stairs down to the parking garage instead of the elevator. The elevator is too busy, too many people, and you’re trying to avoid the stares and giggles at your expense. The stairs are always deserted and you figure it’s your safest bet.

You can nearly hear the wine calling your name at home. A delicate glass of Sauvignon Blanc and some chocolate ice cream and a good cry—it sounds like the best and only way to unwind after the worst day you’ve ever had in your life.

The chanting of your name gets louder and you wonder if you’ve finally lost your mind—if you’re actually hearing your wine bottles all the way at home talking to you.

No, wait. The voice is real, and coming from behind you. You turn around to face who’s calling you and nearly faint at the sight.

Kim Namjoon stands on the landing above you, one strip of stairs between you.

“Hey!” He seems glad he’s caught you. “I’ve been calling your name for a minute.”

You swallow and search for an answer. 

“Sorry, I’m-.. I guess I’m just a little out of it today.”

Namjoon grimaces. 

“Yeah, about that…” he begins as he takes the steps down to be on equal ground as you. Your heart is spinning wildly. He’s so close to you. He’s talking to you. On any other day you’d be erupting towards the sky like a firework. But today isn’t any other day.

“I feel like I should apologize,” he states. “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t plan it or anything.”

Damn him and his kindness. Damn him and his cute, awkward smile.

“No, no,” you assure. “I know you didn’t. You don’t have to apologize.”

It’s hard to make eye contact with the man. You want to, know it’s important in intense conversations like this, but the thought of him seeing you—really seeing you makes you ache inside.

“It was a really shitty prank,” he begins. “I’m sure you don’t even know who I am, let alone have a crush on me.”

For the millionth time that day, your face heats to a near boil. You stammer and you’re sure you’ve blown any chance at even thinking about a date with Namjoon.

“Oh, uh, right,” you seek an answer, beg your brain to pick something to say that doesn’t make you sound stupid. “I do.”

“You do what?” He’s confused and you widen your eyes at what just left your mouth.

“I do know you! I mean, I do have a crush on you! Oh, fuck,” you shove your face into your hands. “Please, ignore that. I need to go. Sorry!” You don’t give him a chance to reply, you book it out of the stairway as fast as your heels will take you.

Today was the worst day you’ve suffered through in your life.

The next few days aren’t much better.

Not only are you “coffee girl”, you’re now also sarcastically called “Namjoon’s girl”. As much as you hate your initial title, you’d prefer it to the new one they throw at you as you walk by.

Jimin rats out Jungkook and Chungha to the bosses. They get two weeks probation and they have to write you apology letters if they wish to keep their permanent files clean of any reprimands. It’s a slap on the wrist, and everyone involved knows it. Jimin is furious and wants the boss to reconsider. You tell him not to push it. You’d rather this be over and everyone to forget it even happened. Jimin unwillingly agrees.

You’re working at your desk, earphones shoved in your ears to diffuse the gossip in the room, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn and are greeted with the face of Judas Iscariot himself, Jeon Jungkook.

“Hi,” he sounds sheepish, cheeks reddening.

You narrow your eyes at him, sharper than steel. “What the fuck do you want?”

He winces, knowing he deserved that. “Well, I just wanted to apologize. I know they told me to write you a letter, but it seems too impersonal…”. 

You can’t believe Jungkook is sucking his ego up and actually coming to you to apologize. You thought he’d for sure be the one to cop out and send a shitty letter.

He continues. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry that all went down. I didn’t mean to tell her. She got me drunk and said she saw me eating lunch with you and Jimin. I think she was jealous or something and it slipped out. I know that’s not an excuse. I fucked up your trust and Jimin’s trust. But I just wanted you to know I didn’t do it to be an asshole. She sort of duped me.”

You pause as you take in the man’s apology. He didn’t have to come to you in person. He could have easily taken the shitty route and half-assed a letter to you. But he didn't, and he owned up to his mistake. God dammit.

“I appreciate your apology, Jungkook,” you sigh and you see his body visibly relax. “I’m still mad, but I guess the anger is at her for doing it in the first place. I’m sorry she tricked you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief and kneels down beside you. “I’m really happy you believe me. I was worried you were going to kick me in the nuts.

“I won’t lie, I thought about it.”

He smiles with you, and you feel like this is the restart of a friendship. “I definitely deserved it.”

You shrug and smile. “Jimin would kill me for hurting you. He might even kill me for thinking about hurting you.”

Jungkook’s smile drops at the name of your best friend. Yikes. Looks like there’s still trouble in paradise.

“I think you’d be in similar company with Jimin right now. He’s not speaking to me.”

You let out a breath through your nose. “Yeah, he’s a little protective of me.”

“For good reason,” he admits. “You’re like a cute little flower. A cute nerdy flower.”

“Jungkook,” you warn. “I just forgave you after I was humiliated in front of the entire company. I’d be careful with calling me nerdy right now.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

It’s hard to stay mad at the boy, no matter how much you dislike his reputation around the office. The fact that he humbled himself enough to seek you out and apologize is proof enough to you of his character.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I forgive you,” you smile. “Thank you for apologizing.”

He rubs the back of his neck anxiously as his cheeks flare red.

“Yeah, it felt pretty shitty to just… do anything else. Plus, you seem really cool.”

“You seem great, too, Jungkook.”

He smiles and pulls you in for a hug, catching you off guard. For the fuckboy type, he’s surprisingly sensitive and soft. You like that about him.

“I’ll see you around, okay?” He says as he pulls away from you.

“Maybe you should apologize to Jimin, too?” 

His smile drops, but he nods anyway. “Yeah, maybe I’ll go find him now.”

“Good luck,” you offer with a pat on his shoulder.

With a sad smile, he turns and heads down the hallway towards the HR department. You pray Jimin shows mercy to the handsome boy.

A few weeks go by, and you’re sure that everyone has forgotten about you and your most embarrassing moment to date. You make the coffee, you calculate the numbers, everyone ignores you. Things return to relative normalcy.

Until it doesn't. The moment you think you're safe is the moment your guard comes down and everything falls apart around you.

It's when you're in the staff kitchen, grinding fresh beans to brew a second pot of coffee, that it happens.

The kitchen is fuller than usual. You normally try to wait until the lunchtime crowd dwindles and leaves to make your second pot, but you're so desperate for the caffeine that you can't find it in you to care.

You trudge into the kitchen with your handy coffee mug clutched in your tired hands and head towards the cupboards to grind up the beans.

There's a few groups of coworkers lingering in the room, and as your grinder whirs the beans around into a powder, you chance a look around to see who's among the crowd.

Your eyes flick immediately to where a hearty laugh erupts. It makes your heart still in your throat. Namjoon sits with his usual crowd of friends, hand gripping a homemade sandwich while the other assists him in telling his story to his friends. He pays you no mind—why would he?—and you can't help but stare at the way his dark brown hair lays perfectly against his forehead, and his eyes crinkle so cutely at the edges when he smiles.

You nearly forget about the coffee grounds—you're snapped out of your Namjoon-induced trance when suddenly a woman's laugh echoes around the room.

"Look at her," the voice states.

You peer up and see a girl you vaguely recognize. Is she from Marketing? Or perhaps Sales? You’re not sure, but she’s staring at you with a sneer.

“She’s so weirdly obsessed with Namjoon. It’s so creepy.”

Your face turns cherry red and you’re sure your lungs stop functioning. The air your body needs to breathe freezes and your chest aches. 

Namjoon turns to look at the girl before he looks and sees you grasping your coffee grounds tightly.

“Chungha was right—it’s so weird. Namjoon, you should talk to HR about this!”

Namjoon turns back to the gossiping coworker and frowns. “Can you leave it alone? She wasn’t even doing anything.”

The girl huffs and crosses her arms over her chest and looks back at Namjoon.

“How can you stand to be in the same room as her? She clearly thinks she has a chance with you.”

Her words come out like a bite. She punctuates her point with a harsh laugh and the group around her mumbles and chuckles in agreement.

You’re desperately grabbing at anything you can, wanting to leave as quickly as possible before you’re embarrassed further.

“Well, she does!” Namjoon replies loudly, annoyance written in his features. “I was actually going to ask her to dinner this weekend in private, but since everyone is so fucking interested in my love life, I have to do it publicly.”

The room falls silent, and your favorite mug falls out from your hands and shatters on the floor. All sets of eyes stare at you while yours widen with disbelief—you don't even care that you’re standing in a pool of old coffee and shattered ceramic. 

Namjoon stands and heads over to you, bending down to pick up the shards of your coffee mug. You take a few stunted breaths to kneel and help. 

His eyes peer into yours. They’re warm—a chocolate brown color that makes you feel safe.  

“What do you say?” He asks with a smile so gentle it nearly breaks your heart. “Will you let me take you out this weekend?” 

You’re gaping like a fish and the surrounding room is silent—bated breath waiting for your reply. 

“Yes, I would l-love that.” 

His smile turns even brighter, and he stands to throw the broken mug away. 

“I’ll email you the details, okay?”

Your head nods dumbly without thinking. His eyes sparkle as he smiles at you, and he extends his hand down to you to assist you off the floor. As your hand slips into his, you can’t help but feel how soft and strong he feels. You wonder what his hand would feel like caressing your face, smoothing down the expanse of your bare back, running down the length of your body.

The thoughts shake out of you as he winks and kisses your hand gently, causing the gossiping coworker to grunt her disapproval and for murmurs of shock to echo around the room.

“I’ll talk to you later, doll.” Namjoon winks at you before he grabs his sandwich and leaves the room, gesturing to his crew to follow along.

The place on your hand felt warm where his lips once lingered. You no longer cared about the angry glares from the rest of your coworkers. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, and you leave the kitchen nearly floating on cloud nine.

Email from: Kim Namjoon

Sent: 3:06 pm

Subject: Hey good lookin ;)

Hey! 

Just wanted to see how you are! I’m sorry about what happened at lunchtime. That was super petty and uncalled for. I really wanted to ask you out, and I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much by doing it in front of everyone.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out this Friday night after work? Say around 7? If you send me your address, I’ll pick you up.

Let me know!

Xoxo, Joon

You’re sure if you weren’t sitting in your tiny cubicle, you’d be screaming your lungs out.

The second the notification of the email came through, direct from the man of your desires himself, your body froze.

You re-read the message, over and over and over.  

The winky emoji, the xoxo, the nickname ‘joon’. It’s all so much and makes the grin on your face threaten to split your lips in half.

Your fingers press the “FWD” button and you quickly send the message to Jimin, before you stand demurely, attempting to give off an air of professional confidence. You need to talk to Jimin, now.

As soon as you’re out of the eyesight of suspicious coworkers, you bolt down the hallway towards Human Resources. Your high heels click loudly on the tiled floor, but the sound doesn’t even register in your mind. All you can think about is Namjoon, the email, the press of his lips on your hand, the way his smile made you feel as if you could fly.  

The door to HR swings open with your tight grip around the doorknob, and you open your mouth to call to Jimin, the lone employee, when you’re startled by the sight ahead of you.

Jimin sits on the edge of his expansive desk with his arms thrown around Jungkook’s neck and is clearly engaged in a deep, sensual kiss. At the sound of the door opening, they quickly break apart, with matching cherry red blushes on their cheeks and mused hair.

“Oh, shit,” you gasp. 

The men are silent and you can’t help but giggle after a moment passes. “I’ll take it you two made up?”

Jungkook flashes you a dopey grin, one that gives you an answer, while Jimin smirks haughtily.

“Jungkook and I were just discussing, umm… his 401k.”

Jungkook looks at the blonde boy for a moment, confused, before he gets it. “Yeah! Totally. Retirement. Love to t-talk about it?”

You laugh out loud and walk towards the couple.

“I’m sure it was a titillating discussion,” you tease. “I have good news though, if it’s okay to interrupt this retirement planning session.”

Jimin nods and Jungkook rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess I should leave?”

“It’s okay,” you smile. “I trust you.”

Jungkook smiles as if he’s just won the lottery. He looks between you and Jimin, face pure and excited like a puppy.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks as he moves to sit down at his desk.

“I forwarded you an email. Read it.”

Jimin nods and logs on to his posh computer, scrolling and clicking before narrowing his eyes and reading.

“Oh, my god.” Jimin’s face is shocked—it's written all over his features. “Namjoon asked you out?!”

Jungkook’s child-like grin turns into one of shock himself. He runs around to stand behind Jimin, eyes seeking over the words of the email.

“Well, hot damn,” Jungkook whistles. “He asked her out.”

Jimin exchanges a look with Jungkook, one that you’re not sure you can read. It quickly slips your mind, however, as you’re more focused on the task at hand.

“Can you come over tonight after work and help me pick out something to wear?” You ask excitedly.

Jimin smiles at you, a touch of sadness in his eyes, before he nods.

“Of course, babe,” he assures. “We’ll make sure you look nice and hot for the date with Mr. Kim.”

“Thank you!” You squeal as you wrap your arms around your best friend. He hugs you back before you scurry out of the office and back to your cubicle, itching to reply to the message.

Jimin sighs as the door to his office closes behind you.

“Kook, please don’t tell me he’s going to break her heart. He’s asking her out to make himself feel better about this, isn’t he?” 

Jungkook slips his hand into Jimin’s and squeezes. 

“I’ll find out, baby.”

Jimin smiles and nods appreciatively at the boy, before leaning up and kissing him.

Jungkook smiles against his lips, and is determined to ensure the young HR specialist never hates him again, even if he has to go behind his hyung’s back to ensure his new boyfriend’s happiness.

Jungkook has one mission now, and that’s ensuring Namjoon takes you on the greatest date known to man.

He grills Jimin with questions about what you like over dinner one night. Jimin finds it endearing that Jungkook is so eager to rectify his mistakes, but he still can’t help but worry that Namjoon is doing this to save face—not because he actually likes you.

“So, what does she like doing?” Jungkook asks as he spins his pasta around his chopsticks idly.

Jimin smiles as he takes a bite of the ramen Jungkook has thoughtfully prepared for their stay-at-home date.  

“I’ve told you already! She’s easy to figure out.” Jimin pats Jungkook’s hand gently. “She loves cooking and baking, working out, daydreaming about Namjoon.” 

“Cooking, hm,” Jungkook looks thoughtful as he takes a bite. “I think Namjoon can work with that. I’ll let him know!”

Jimin tries to hide the anxiety brewing in his stomach. He’s had to plaster on a fake smile for you while you tried on different outfits, wondering which will be the one to finally convince Namjoon he is the one for you. It’s hard to fake it around his boyfriend, too—but something tugs in his stomach that flares the cynical side of him.

Namjoon went from not knowing of your existence, to watching you get publicly embarrassed in a matter of minutes. While Namjoon isn’t a terrible guy, Jimin knows he doesn’t like anything to tarnish the gentleman reputation he’s built in the office. And as much as Jimin likes him, and surely likes his friend Jungkook, he can’t help but feel skeptical.

Jungkook hurriedly pulls out his phone and types away, letting his elder friend know of what he’s found out. Jimin swallows his food, and his pride, and hopes to god his growing cynicism is wrong.

Friday comes slower than you’d like. You wake up every day during the week, one day closer, and your eagerness hits peak levels. Namjoon sees you in the hallways during the week and winks at you, hands shoved in his tight slacks that make you salivate.  

He emails you again Thursday afternoon, confirming things and getting your address. You reply in nanoseconds, uncaring how overeager you come off. 

By the time your alarm clock rings on Friday morning, you’ve already been awake for 4 hours.

All you can do is daydream about the date, the way his hand fits into yours, the warmth of his eyes when he smiles at you.

It’s what fuels you through work.

You hope to god the numbers you’re attempting to work during the day come out right, because your mind is elsewhere for more than most of the day. There isn’t enough coffee in the world, but also your body feels as if you’ve overdosed on caffeine already.

The clock eeks towards 5:00 pm and you’re bolting out the door at 4:56 to head home and get ready for your date.

Jimin attempts to meet you before you leave, but your desk is cold and empty by the time he gets there.  

He sighs and heads back towards his office to gather his things, waving bye to various coworkers as they file out of the corporate building.

He turns the corner towards his office but stops in his tracks as he sees Namjoon’s back to him, phone pressed to his ear.

“Baby, I’ll come over later tonight, okay?” Namjoon speaks into the phone.

Jimin feels his heart fall into the pit of his stomach. He retreats and hides behind a wall, ear carefully peeled to listen to the tall man’s conversation.

“I’m going on this date with that chick from work,” he sighs. “It won’t last more than a few hours. Poor girl has a crush on me and you know the usual assholes won’t leave her alone.”

Jimin bites his lip and clenches his fist. Namjoon thinks he means well, but he knows his suspicions have been confirmed, and he’s torn inside. He wants to tell you, to warn you not to get too invested in the man, but he also has no interest in popping the bubble you’ve been in since the day he asked you out.

Jimin lets it simmer for now. He decides he’ll monitor Namjoon and cut things off if it appears the man strings you along for fun.

Namjoon finishes his phone call with a promise to see whoever is on the other end of the phone later that night, and Jimin quickly pulls out his phone and fakes a conversation with no one when he hears the man approach.

“Oh, Kookie,” Jimin giggles, leaning against the wall casually. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, either, babe.”

Namjoon walks towards Jimin and makes eye contact with the HR specialist.

“Bye, Kook! See you tonight, baby.” Jimin finishes up the fake phone call as Namjoon arrives next to him, and he plasters on his best fake smile.

“Congrats on you and Jungkook,” he speaks sincerely.

Jimin hates how nice he is, hates that he’s a nice guy who gets too wrapped up in his own good looks and reputation.

“Thanks, Namjoon,” Jimin smiles uneasily. “You too! Have fun on your date tonight.”

Namjoon’s face lights up and Jimin desperately wishes he could go back in time to 30 seconds ago, before he heard the conversation, and believe that Namjoon truly wanted to date you.

“Thanks, should be fun, huh?” He winks and nudges Jimin, before he waves a goodbye and continues out the door.

Jimin pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number of his boyfriend.

“Hey, baby. We’ve got a problem.”

tag list! - @jimidol @aretha170 @dearbambideer​ 

[alpacaparkaseok]

Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself

pairing/genre: Taehyung x reader, idol!reader x idol!taehyung

premise: When you lock eyes with your soulmate, you’re immediately teleported to them. So, technically it’s not your fault that you ended up in Kim Taehyung’s lap for all to see.

word count: 1.3k

[1/2]

requested by @marianeamine​ - thanks for the fun request! a picture of your request will be at the bottom of the post! (also, can we just enjoy Yoongi’s tiny clapping in the background of this gif? lol)

The lights are nearly blinding as you move across the stage, basking in the fan-chants you can hear around the giant venue. You don’t claim to be anything like EXO or BTS...but still, you would be lying if you didn’t get some sort of satisfaction at the considerable amount of fans that made it to MAMA this year.

You watch as one of your group members takes the center as you’d practiced, the other two of you flanking her and pushing hard through the final notes of the song. 

Your little trio, while new to the competitive world of K-pop, had an amazingly successful year. When you were invited to perform not one but two of your hit songs on stage at one of the most prestigious award shows of the year, you were floored.

Now, locking eyes with your other bandmate as all three of you hit the final note - which is nothing short of a miracle, considering how hard you’re breathing right now - you can’t help but smile.

What a year it’s been. 

Together, the three of you sink to the floor, keeping those smiles on your faces until lights fade and the cameras go elsewhere. You were instructed to remain sitting on this portion of the stage for about a minute after the performance, due to the hosts coming out on the opposite end of the room and needing to rearrange this corner. It was deemed too dangerous for you all to get down just yet, but you don’t mind.

Now that you don’t have those blinding lights focused on you, you can actually see out into the crowd. Your heart swells as you spot all of your fans with signs and lightsticks, a few of them still trying to see your group through the darkness. It’s tempting to wave at them, but you refrain, not wanting to draw attention away from the hosts. 

“Dude,” Jiwoo scoots closer to you, Ari leaning over as well to hear what she’s whispering, “Is it just me, or did Yeonjun just get like...1000 times hotter?”

You refrain from laughing, instead craning your neck to get a look. “Where’s TXT?”

Jiwoo gives you subtle directions, not daring to point at him for fear of some fancams picking up on her newfound obsession. That would be a PR disaster. 

“They’re kind of hard to see from this angle,” Ari explains, having already found them. “They’re sitting right behind BTS though.”

Well, you know where BTS is sitting. Everyone, whether they like it or not, is automatically tuned in to where the biggest band in the world is sitting. 

You look over at them, eyes jumping over them to see TXT behind them. You grin. “Yeah, they all look really good.”

“Yeah,” Jiwoo huffs. “But Yeonjun looks sooo good, right?”

Squinting your eyes in an effort to get a better look, you’re a little shocked when certain BTS members sense your stare.

You watch with utter embarrassment as Jimin chuckles at your group, nudging Taehyung and mumbling something to him.

“Er...guys...” you begin, praying that Taehyung won’t look this way. How embarrassing, they probably think that you’re gawking at them not TXT.

You don’t get to finish your sentence as you see Taehyung glancing up, saying something to Jimin as he locks eyes with you.

The darkness from your corner of the stage suddenly becomes absolute, wind whistling in your ears as you gasp for air. The strange sensation doesn’t last long, and soon you’re slamming into something solid and warm.

Peeking one eye open, you’re met with fluffy dark hair, and arms that wrap around your waist to keep you from slipping off. 

Before you’re even able to understand what’s happening, you hear it. People whispering, a few even crying out in distress. Did something bad happen?

Straightening up, you let out a little squeak at you find yourself staring straight into the cocoa-dipped eyes of Kim Taehyung. His lips have parted, making it seem like he was gasping just a moment ago. One of his earrings glints in the light, casting him in a diamond-like glow.

Overall, he doesn’t seem to be faring much better than you, but as you go to move away because you’re on the man’s lap, he instinctively tightens his grip. 

“Let her go, Tae,” Namjoon grounds out from the other end of the seats, and it seems like only then does Taehyung begin to hear the obvious uproar and excitement from fans and idols. He gives you an apologetic smile, loosening his grip. 

You fail to return the smile, too dazed to even register what just happened. Rising to your feet, you suddenly become ultra aware of all the cameras that appear to be pointed in your direction.

“Hyung...” Tae murmurs, noticing the cameras as well. Before anything else can be said, you’re nearly tackled as Jiwoo and Ari come rushing over, eyes wide.

“Are you alright?” Jiwoo pants, looking over every square in of your body as though expecting to find a gaping wound. You give her a shaky nod, still struggling to find your voice. 

“...what...what just happened?” You croak out.

Staff from both Bighit and your own agency rush over, forming a packed circle around your trio and BTS. There’s a collective groan that goes around the building from those who’s view is now obstructed, but you pay them no mind.

“Hello,” one staff member says with a gentle smile that immediately puts you at ease. “You’re probably feeling a little strange, right?” You nod. 

Staff are in the process of speaking to Namjoon and the other members, Jiwoo and Ari joining them. Despite the situation, you can’t help but giggle at the fact that Jiwoo is still attempting to discreetly get a look at Yeonjun.

Taehyung comes to stand across from you, eyes flitting between you and the staff member. 

“We’re going to take you guys backstage, alright?” She asks, and the two of you mutely nod. “Stay in the circle, keep your heads down.”

She goes over to check that the other members are alright to stay at the award show or come backstage. They all want to come, but Namjoon looks around the room and comes to a decision.

“We’ll go back in a little while,” he says, ignoring Jungkook’s pout. “I think it might be best for us to stay and act normal. Maybe it’ll help people calm down.”

You don’t bother telling him that it probably won’t do much, you do appreciate the intention.

“Alright! Let’s go!”

Surrounded by staff and bodyguards, you feel like you’ve been swallowed up. Shuffling forward, you turn to look for Taehyung and are shocked when he sidles up next to you and laces his fingers through yours. He gives you a smile, making sure to keep his head down as instructed.

“Hey,” he mumbles, practically making you melt.

You blink up at him, unconsciously sliding a little closer. “Hey.”

“You did really well up there,” he nods to where the stage must be. 

“T-thank you.”

He grins again at your shyness, giving your hand a little squeeze. “Are you excited?”

You frown. “For what?”

Holding up your intertwined hands, Taehyung chuckles. “For this.”

“Ah,” you take a moment to look at your hands, marveling at how perfect they look together. “Definitely.” Then, getting a bit of courage, you grin. “Actually, could you do me a favor?”

He immediately nods, eyes never leaving your face. “Anything.”

“You need to introduce Yeonjun and Jiwoo.”

Taehyung immediately bursts into laughter, the sound echoing off the walls now that you’re backstage. “Really?”

Before you can respond, the same staff member from before rushes past you with a shocked expression. “What just happened?” You ask the people surrounding you.

An older bodyguard takes his hat off and scratches his head, laughing quietly to himself. “Another pair of soulmates made eye contact.”

“Again?!” Both you and Taehyung asks, caught between shock and amusement. “Who?”

Your answer comes in the form of the door to backstage flying open, a second group of bodyguards and assorted staff rushing toward you. Taehyung pulls you closer to him to keep you from getting trampled. As the sea of staff parts, your jaw drops open and you can’t help but laugh.

Because there’s Jiwoo and Yeonjun, staring at each other with reddened cheeks and sheepish grins.

“Well,” Taehyung whispers down to you. “That was easy.”

masterlist || pt. 2

[subwaysurf45]

Love You to the Moon and Back

summary: Bucky notices you’re feeling down after a bad injury, he does his best to help.

words:  3817

warning: depressive episode, doctors, mainly fluff!

pairing: Bucky x Reader 

Masterlist!

Bucky could tell you were getting bad again. 

And it hurt him to see you like this but it always happened after a big mission, your job was traumatizing and it took a toll on all of you. Bucky knew he had his days but he also knew when you finally let yourself slip it was really bad. 

You were a very headstrong person, you didn’t like letting people see your weaknesses or just you being hurt in general. So it sucked when you had broken your shin and witnessed a school of kids get blown up by a bomb, maybe sucked is an understatement but it was what you always said. 

You had pretended to be a teacher because there was supposed to be a hit on most teachers at a private school, so when the school blew up before everyone was out of the building- including you -it left the memories very crystal clear. There was no way of saving everyone so you saved yourself, and the feeling of selfishness had never been more apparent than right now. You were lying in bed with a cast on your left leg, your left leg was on top of the duvet while the other leg was under. 

A tank top and shorts was all you wore even though you were cold. A pillow was placed between your legs down by your shins to keep the injured one elevated, Bucky had stuck it there the last time he came in to check on you. 

Speaking of Bucky, he walked into your shared room in the compound. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky cooed as he gently opened and closed the door without making any sound, you had become hyper-aware to sound and light so a loud noise or a flash of a camera could send you into a state of hysterics. Bucky sat himself at the edge of the bed at around your midsection, you were lying in the middle and facing him. You barely said hello, all you could muster was a groan that had the same rhythm as the word hello. “How’s my girl doing?” Bucky rubbed your thigh very carefully. 

It was so obviously a rhetorical question, you were absolutely shit and he knew it. You both just stared at each other and Bucky seemed to get the message, he nodded and looked down. The room was so dark from the lights being off and the curtains being pulled you barely registered that Bucky had a plate of cheese, apple slices, and crackers. Bucky saw you turn your nose up and he knew you would, you had been like this for what felt like weeks. 

“You have your two appointments today, you wanna use the crutches or the wheelchair?” Bucky asked as he gently caressed your thigh, a little hum came after a few sections to clarify this wasn’t rhetorical. 

“I don’t know,” you mumbled into your pillow. 

“Okay…” Bucky held onto the last syllable, he glanced over to the wheelchair and crutches. “How about you have a little snack and then when you got food- and I’ll get water -you can make your choice. You also know you can switch and I’ll be glad to grab it for you, alright?” he did a few quick pats on your thigh before setting the plate down on the bedside table, he grunted as he stood up and stuck his arms slowly beneath you. All Bucky did was sit you upright to eat, you had gotten better at eating and now didn’t need motivation to eat but just a little push at the beginning to keep going after the first bite. Bucky also found if he ate a few pieces from the plate you’d be more inclined to eat the rest. 

“Thanks,” your voice was low and barely audible. 

“No need, pretty lady,” Bucky got right beside you and grabbed the plate, he placed it between you and let you choose the first piece. “So, you’re at the doctor at two and then Doc at three-ten, do you wanna nap between for a little or for a while after?” he just took a cracker and plopped it into his mouth. 

“No, no nap between, I wanna sit outside Doc’s office like before to make sure I’m not late.” You mumbled and stacked a piece of cheese on an apple slice. Doc was your therapist that was assigned to you a little while before your injury, Bucky wasn’t the only one who got nightmares and manic episodes; you probably got them more. Bucky knew he couldn’t go into your therapy meeting, he could physically go in but it went against his morals, this was your time to be alone and completely vulnerable to a human that you only see one or twice a week, he didn’t want you to sugar coat anything just because he wa sitting there. 

Bucky nodded and hummed before pulling the notebook out of the bedside table’s drawer, your combat backpack which you used for everything between missions and a picnic in the park was curled over itself in the corner of your room. Bucky picked it up and headed back to bed to let it rest there as he packed. He did this when you weren’t injured, Bucky had sadly realized your memory was a little shot from the amount of bootleg brainwashing and head injuries. You’d constantly forget about appointments or missions, or even the date. 

“Baby, I told you, your birthday is today, that’s why I got flowers.” Bucky said and pointed to the counter with the bright flowers on it. 

“No…” you rubbed the front of your head. “My birthday isn’t today, I forget the day- but it’s not today, I swear.” 

He slid in your journal that you used to write down lists and memories, you had used a guitar pick as your bookmark even though you can’t play anymore. Sometimes when you’d show up to a therapy session you’d forget what you wanted to say, it hurt him when he’d walk you there and you’d be saying the list of things under your breath with your eyes closed. Nightmare, mom, picking my nails, ankle, nightmare, sand, flowers. 

“We gotta go soon, anyways, wanna get ready for the day?” Bucky softly asked, there was no nice way of telling your loved one they needed to shower. 

“Sure,” you looked down at the plate and grabbed the last of it before getting up, the apple and cheese was just curled in the palm of your hand, as you walked over you shoved it all into your mouth because you knew you had to shower and you didn’t like soggy cheese. 

“I’ll keep packing your bag, and I’ll fill a water bottle for you.” Bucky had been your human crutch as you walked to the bathroom, you had an itch down in your cast that was bugging you. 

Tony had wanted to add tech to the shower to help you stand because putting pressure on your left leg hurt after three minutes and seven seconds- not that you were timing to see how long you could go without collapsing. You had said no to tech and just asked for a bar, Bucky even thought it would be cool but it was all up to you. 

Bucky helped you slip out of your clothes before leaving you be, he knew he would have to check on you periodically because you were too stubborn to ask for help if you had fallen or couldn’t get in the shower. You gripped onto the metal bar and helped yourself slip in, you turned the water on right away. 

You liked warm, long showers. You just let the water hit your skin as you stood in front of the shower head, the water pressure was high so you let the bullets hit your face when your eyes were closed. Your hair got wet as you stood there, you reached for the bottle of shampoo and expected it to be where it always was. The was getting into your eyes and when you squinted to see where the bottle was everything was double, as you reached for the bottle you had actually reached for the fake double and knocked the bottle off the ledge. A loud thump rang through the bathroom and it sounded like a bomb. 

There was one second of silence before you heard scrambling from outside the bathroom door, all at once you could see the door swing open by its shadow through the curtain. The curtain was pulled back so hard a couple of ringlets holding it up were ripped off. 

“Baby?” Bucky yelled before he registered you were standing upright. “What?” he breathed heavily, he was completely expecting you to be passed out on the floor with a cracked skull. 

“Shampoo bottle,” you said meekly. 

“Oh, thank god…” Bucky sighed to himself as he reached down to pick it up. “Are you hurt at all, did you fall?” He placed the bottle back on the ledge which made him reach across your naked body, on his way back his hand touched your shoulder then went to cup your cheek and move your head to look at him. 

“I’m all good, babe.” You smiled, an exhausting smile. 

“Alright, back-is-packed, finish up and I'll help you over to physio, alright?” Bucky closed the curtain to give privacy but waited for a verbal answer. 

“Perfect, thank you.” You grabbed the bottle again, your heart ached for him to be in the shower with you, it was something you did all the time before you were injured. 

“Don’t thank me, pretty lady.” Bucky reached for the door and opened it, before he could walk out, your voice quietly called his name, he could barely hear it over the water in the shower. “Yes?” he replied with the same softness. 

“Stay here with me, please.” the ‘please’ came after a beat, and extra plea. 

“Always,” Bucky sat on the toilet seat and gave the company you needed as you tried to stick your finger down your cast to itch that one spot on your leg. 

*****

Soon enough you were sat in the physio room, Bucky was off to the side with paper work in his lap and a binder in your backpack he packed for you. You liked the moral support when you were here because you never really had the best experience with doctors, Bucky would act like he wasn’t even there. That was a good thing, he did need to be the hovering boyfriend all the time because that can get tiring for both parties. He’d look up and listen to the doctor near the end, Bucky would write down the exercises and when to do them so he could gently remind you later. 

“Alright, you’re gonna get a new cast next week,” the doctor smiled at you, when you didn’t pick up on the excitement the doctor’s smile faded. “That means three quarters done!” Bucky had looked up and smiled, even clapped a couple times. 

“Then I have to learn how to walk again,” that was an exaggeration but it didn’t feel like one. 

The doctor gave a knowing look, “why do I feel like you’re already walking without the crutches?” You didn’t say anything because it was true. 

Your leg was examined and x-rayed, Bucky held onto your necklace as you went in. Your mind faded in and out as the doctor spewed ‘doctor stuff’ at you, you just didn’t have the care to listen; but Bucky did. He’s the type of guy to take notes and research later. 

Bucky would look over and see you looking at the floor, not even paying attention. He knew he couldn't get mad at you, you both dealt with injury very similarly. But something about seeing you shut down entirely made his heart ache, he wanted to reach out and lift the corners of your lips up into a smile because they seemed like they were being weighed down, he couldn’t remember the last time you smiled and real smile. He hadn’t been going on mission to keep you company, but now he knew his most important mission.

He walked you over to your therapy session that was still in the building, your Doc would come to the Avenger tower. He’d walk you right to the door of some random debrief room and kiss you goodbye. Bucky would hold your shoulders and gently rub your arms to hype you up before going in, he gave his little speech and said the same thing after. 

“You know I love you, and I know it’s hard.” he’d then kiss your cheeks and forehead. “I’ll be right here when you’re done, don’t even sweat it, pretty lady.” He then wouldn’t leave until the door closed and he heard muffled voices. 

The tower was right in the heart of the city, everything he needed was right there and a walking distance away. He slipped on a long sleeve and his gloves, he knew you took the backpack but you also had reusable bags, he took a few and headed out into the summer heat, it wasn’t humid today which was great but it wasn’t cold either. The tote bag was slung over his shoulder, all that was in it right now as a list. 

flowers 

chocolate

card

stuffed animal 

To call Bucky a romantic would seem weird to someone who only knew of him from the news or a museum, you knew him as a total hopeless romantic. Even in the 40’s, Bucky was the type of person to keep their walls up until he really got to know and trust you. It would normally be one little thing that would allow him to truly be himself around someone, he let his guard down that day you were walking to the restaurant he made a reservation at, Bucky placed himself so that arm or hand you’d hold would be his right but when you caught on you walk around him and looped both arms around his left, metal arm. After that, he was goner. 

He’d leave little sticky notes everywhere, a blue square paper in the coffee mug that read: ‘make sure you only drink one cup!’ or another on your shampoo bottle: ‘you look great naked ;)’. Bucky knew the little things mattered to you and vice versa, he knew that grand gestures didn’t mean anything without a little kiss that came before. 

The flower shop smelt great, Bucky didn’t know much about plants but he knew which ones you’d like. He was thinking of putting one on each bedside so whenever you’re lying in bed- which was a lot -you could look at some pretty flowers. They were a nice shade of purple and the stems were not too long, Bucky bought them and put them gently in his tote bag before heading over two stores to the grocery store you always shop at.

He was envyus of your clean eating, you’d eat what you want but you’d shop at fermer’s markets and organic stores. Bucky didn’t know it made a difference. He went to the frozen section and found chocolate covered strawberries. Bucky picked up a little pack of eight and headed to the front. There were also flowers there but they didn’t look nearly as nice. All he wanted was a very simple cute card with a blank inside, they were easy to find. It was cream coloured with a little sketch of a fuzzy, brown teddy bear holding a yellow balloon. All it said in dainty cursive at the top was: “look at you go!” Bucky knew this was perfect. Near the cards were little toys and stuffed animals. He found a bear that looked eerily similar to the one on the card but without the balloon. 

As he walked into the Avenger’s tower the bag was full and he had enough time to spare to set things up. Bucky headed to the rooms and made the bed, he changed the sheets as well because he knew you liked them when they were crisp. The teddy sat right in the middle with the card next to it. Bucky had written a little note that covered the entire right side of the card. He got a bowl from the kitchen and filled it with ice, he also found that white wine you liked and stuck it on there with the strawberries just to keep them cool but not melted. 

Bucky glanced at his watch and felt almost giddy as he realized it was time to head over to the conference room, he had to work on not giving it away when he’d first see you with his wide smile. The walk to the room was quick because of how fast Bucky was walking, he turned the corners sharp and almost jogged down the hall down the meeting rooms. He only stood there for about three seconds before the door slowly opened, Doc had opened the door and helped you out. Bucky’s smile turned into complete worry when you walked out holding a tissue to your nose, your eyes were red and puffy. Bucky also noticed that your fingernails were red and bleeding, that was one habit you were currently trying to break. 

“What’s going on?” Bucky asked in quiet disbelief, his eyebrows almost touching. 

Doc gave a curt nod, “we talked about a lot of things,” her answers were always so vague. 

You sniffled and waited for Doc to leave down the hall, Bucky was still looking at you. His hands held your shoulders and gently massaged the answer out of you. 

“It was a good cry, I needed that.” you sighed from exhaustion. 

A little piece of Bucky’s heart broke, if you needed to have a good cry then you could have told him, he would’ve listened. Bucky started to go back and see where it went wrong, if he was too overbearing and if this whole afternoon he had planned was created at a very wrong time. He wanted to ask what he did wrong but what came out was different. “Well that’s good to hear, I know Doc is good at that- helping you out.” His words were true but something about the delivery made it seem uneasy. 

“I just-” you looked to the ceiling and hoped to find the words you needed written there. “I like flushing it all out to her because I won’t see her for a week and I don’t need to keep up with what I’m feeling. I always cry to you but Doc is just really good at explaining how I feel, you’re there to validate it and make me feel soothed.” You held his left hand as you both walked down the hallway. “I feel lighter, like, I feel better.”

“That’s always good, sweetheart,” Bucky made sure you were putting weight on him because you didn’t bring your crutches but you really should have. “I have a little treat for you,” He turned to face you when you both stood at his door, Bucky kept his hand on the door handle. “I know it’s been a rough few weeks but I hope you know I love you all the same, and all I see is my strong, beautiful girlfriend.” Bucky saw your confused face, as he opened the door to reveal a dim lit room with flowers, wine and a teddy your eye welled up with tears again. 

You gasped and put your hands on your chest, “for me?” your voice shook as you walked in, you peered into the ice bucket to see your favourite wine and some food as well as a card beside the ice bucket, under the teddy. Tears flowed down your face as the feeling of being overwhelmed washed over you, you could barely string a sentence together. A hand waved the gifts all away, “too much,” was all you could muster. 

“No, baby,” Bucky smiled, he walked over and pulled you into a hug. “Nothing will ever be too much for you.”

He let you cry in his chest for a very long time, you both ended up sitting on the edge of the bed as he stroked all the way up your back. His hand would bunch up your hair as he went up to your neck. His lips were right at your ear, all he whispered were sweet nothings and a calming ‘shh’ once and a while. When you had a little composure Bucky reached for the card, as you read it your lips trembled even more. A hand stayed glued to your heart as your body warmed at loving words, you could barely read it with blurry vision from the tears but it still seemed crystal clear. Your finger traced over the signature: ‘love you to the moon and back, Bucky’. And you crumbled again, your forehead hit his chest as you cried away all the pent up emotion you thought you flushed out at your therapy session. 

With all the crying you were so tired, Bucky had thrown on a movie you two could watch while enjoying your strawberries and wine. You only had two and half a cup before you were snoring on Bucky’s shoulder, he tried to nudge you a couple times but nothing worked at all. He watched the movie on his own and saved the last two strawberries for you in the morning. You didn’t even wake up at him getting up and leaving the room. When he came back he got you out of your day clothes and into something comfy. 

*****

You woke up to the sun hitting your back, when your eyes opened they focused on the flowers and a smile graced your face. It was the first time in a long time since you smiled with your eyes, a little giggle even slipped out. 

At that sound Bucky walked out of the bathroom, “well there she is,” he smiled wide. 

“What does that mean?” you wiped the drool from the side of your mouth, “I had a nap, a really good one, too.” You seemed to be bragging. 

“A nap? Baby, it’s eight.” Bucky raised his eyebrows. 

“Ya, I fell asleep at about five so I had a three hour nap, no biggie.” You rolled on your back and stretched out, your gaze moved back to Bucky when you heard a giggle, “what?” you laughed back. 

“Eight in the morning, the next day. Your three hour nap was actually a well deserved fifteen hour hibernation.” Bucky joined you on the bed. 

“That’s why I feel so good,” you sighed, you looked over to Bucky and swatted his chest at his little smirk. “Don’t think like that.” 

“I bet I can make you feel just as good-”

You cut him off with a kiss.