#Doug remer x Joe cooper

[aforests]

GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT I NEED YOUR BEST MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER IMAGES, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ERA THEY WERE IN I NEED ALL OF THEM

[snifsnoof]

emile requested this

[treyisms]

doug remer x bimbo/hyperfem!reader hcs

-`♡´-

cw: fem!reader, nsfw mentions so minors scamper away please!

- you met during one of coop & remer’s driveway baseketball games

- in fact, you were used as a method of a psyche-out on remer, when one of the bigger opponents whispered to him “holy shit, you see the legs on that girl sitting in the grass over there remer?”

- and he’s a sucker naturally and almost threw the game from how quickly he looked in your direction

- and there you sat, smiling at him as you leaned back with confidence, digging your wedged heels into the grass and picking at your nails, your face rosy and kind

- one miniscule ringed finger wave & and a smirk from you and remer was HOOKED

- came up to you RIGHT after the game (like as soon as it ended) to tell you how much he liked your pretty skirt

-“what’s that fabric? velvet? cotton? it looks real pretty on you honey”

- he is a SUCKER for you batting your eyes at him & he frequently calls you “angel eyes” because of it :’)

- remer is absolutely the type of boyfriend to switch shoes with you when your feet hurt

- like there are multiple nights where you leave one of his games wearing his scuffed up vans & he’s still in his sweaty scrunched nike socks (with a hole in the side, literally always) hobbling out in your heels with a smile on his face

- and when coop brings this up (or rather hysterically laughs in remers face) remer shrugs and continues hobbling to the car, where he obviously opens the door for you

- besides him always paying for your clothes and nails, he absolutely loves when you give him little fashion shows & show him outfits you’ve come up with

- “rem, what do you think… pink top with the denim skirt, or green top with the denim skirt?” “well your tits look great in both…” “DOUG” “YOU DIDN’T LET ME FINISH…. but the green brings out your eyes… so green”

- but this conversation was held strictly while he stared at your chest

- he loves giving you jewelery with his initials on it, ESPECIALLY sellout!remer

- he bought you this gorgeous, dainty little (gold or silver) anklet with an “R” charm dangling from it, and you wear it to all his games

- “baby please wear the ankle bracelet, it’s good luck for me… you want me to win, don’t you?”

- of course coop thinks you’re gorgeous, i mean everyone does, but remer isn’t threatened by that

- in fact he’s always showing you off, whipping mini polaroids of you out of his wallet to show all the guys

- “look! this is the playboy shoot she did for my birthday!”

- naturally buys you a magenta baby tee that says “PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR”

- if he’s feeling extra annoying he puts a giant picture of himself on the back LMAO

- whenever you stay over at coop & remer’s house, the whole entire house smells like a nice floral perfume, and almost all of doug’s toiletries sit neatly on the floor in his room because he swipes them off the bureau to make room for all of your makeup and accessories

- speaking of makeup, he goes to multiple red carpet events covered in your lipstick stains

- i’m talkin all over his face and his chest & his shirt, just a ton of red lipstick stains & his dopey smile and red cheeks

- one time while coop was doing laundry (shocker) he caught a glimpse of your red panties with a big “DR” embroidered on the front of them & nearly shortcircuited running to squeak’s room

- they thought that it must’ve been a joke remer was pulling on them, but later that night you pulled up to the game in your low waisted jeans & the straps of the panties pulled over your hips, peaking out from your pants & they were distracted for the entire game, meanwhile remer had a shit-eating grin on

- frequent ass slaps, from him or you

- “where you goin’ sweetheart?” followed by a rough slap to your ass as you walked by “doug!!”

- he LOVES lip gloss, like he’s absolutely enamored with the stickiness and glowiness, and he’ll honestly just smear it all over your mouth with his two fingers cause he just loves the way you look with it

- will show up to multiple post-game interviews with the same sticky lips… and cheeks… and neck…

- god forbid coop ever accidentally spill something on your purse or shoes, remer goes nuts

- “DICKHEAD!!!!! THOSE ARE VIVIENNE WESTWOOD!!” “baby its okay—” “NO! YOU REALLY LIKE THOSE AND HE’S BEING A DOUCHE”

- for the denslow cup, you wear his extra jersey and a v cute, v short cargo skirt & platform sandals as you cheer him on from the front row of the stands, and when he spots you he literally wipes his glasses and puts his hand on his heart like hes been winded

- “oh my god” and coop comes jogging up, concerned for his friend, “remer! what’s wrong dude?” and remer’s literally gripping the post holding the dugout up & hunching over grabbing his stomach LIKE HE’S IN PHYSICAL PAIN, “dude i’m so hard i might pass out right now” “EW DUDE!”

- overall, remer LOVES having a hyperfem/bimbo/high maintenanced! girlfriend

- he wasn’t popular growing up, or in high school… or college, but it makes him feel so happy to be able to walk around with such a confident, beautiful and kind girlfriend <3

[weedburglar]

I actually get rock hard when I see anything from the dvda concert

Like Matt’s big baggy shirt HELLO

I’m gonna piss and shit everywhere

[pupkiu]

hey cremer nation

[mabelstone]

M A S T E R L I S T

sometimes 18+

please read notes before reading a chapter <3

no minors.

☼ ~ fluff

☾ ~ smut

☁︎ ~ angst

Matt Stone

Professor Stone ☾ (completed)

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven

The Maid ☾ (ongoing)

one | two | three | four

Handsome Stranger ☼ (ongoing)

one | two | three | four

Provocateur ☾ (ongoing)

one | two | three | four | five | six

Boy Next Door (tbd)

one | two

Hozier

Lullabies (ongoing) ☼☾

one | two | three | four | five | six

Trey Parker

Try Me ☾ (discontinued, sorryyy)

one | two | three

One Shots

Make Up (Matt Stone) ☼

Single Bed (Matt Stone) ☼

Payback (Matt Stone) ☾

Undressed (Matt Stone) ☾

Super Best Friends (Doug Remer) ☾

Be Quiet (Doug Remer) ☾

Nobody Compares to You (Matt Stone) ☾

Song One Shots

Until I See You Again (Matt Stone) ☼ Enchanted - Taylor Swift

White Pontiac Heaven (Matt Stone) ☾ Diet Mountain Dew - LDR

For his Enjoyment (Matt Stone) ☾ Double Fantasy - The Weeknd

In Another Life (Trey Parker) ☁︎ Ivy - Taylor Swift

[matt-n-trey]

TREY ATE US UP OMFGGG

[stickofcha0s]

'Walk In' Doug Remer x Reader Pt. 2

Read part one here

Pair: Doug Remer x afab reader

A/N: heyyy, thanks for the positive feedback on part one!! made me feel good about writing again. If you haven't read part one its linked above, I'd recommend doing so. I haven't written a scene like this in literal years so hopefully its good lol. If ti is lmk an I have a spicier part 3 in mind.

word count; 5,233

warnings: NSFW; oral (f! receiving), p in v, hj, slight roughness (little hitting and choking), more perv Remer. I think that's it but just prepare yourselves in case.

Summary: a few weeks after the 'incident', you accidentally walk in on Remer.

———————————

Walk in pt2

 It has been a week or so since the…incident. That’s what you were calling it.

After Joe had come home Remer was walking around like nothing had even happened.

You spent the rest of your night finishing the pasta which turned out a little too soft, and then hiding out in your room, flustered about the whole situation.  

Tonight Joe was out with Jenna and so it was just you and Doug at home. You were both on the couch watching Road Kill: Caught on Tape. Instead of the usual sitting side by side under a blanket, you were sitting at the opposite end of the couch, your feet tucked under you as you covered yourself with your own blanket. 

Remer had his head resting in his palm, beer in his other hand which he occasionally sipped from. 

There was definitely an awkward tension between you two and your pretty sure it was from your side. Remer could blow situations like this off with ease as he often had one night stands with fans or random chicks at the bar. 

You tried to focus on the tv, trying to distract yourself, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. You looked at the time on your phone 9:57.

You knew Joe wouldn’t be home until after 3, if he even decided to come home at all that night. He occasionally would stay the night at Jenna’s. 

You felt restless as you sat on the couch shifting. 

“You good?” Remer asked raising an eyebrow at you and bringing the can to his lips.

“Uh huh” you nodded. You watched his Addams apple bob as he gulped down the drink, just stirring up the restlessness feeling inside you. 

“I’m just tired, I think I might go to bed” you said faking a yawn.

“It’s only 10.” He pointed out. He was right. Usually you guys were up until the early hours of the next day watching movies or talking while shit faced. 

You shrugged “works been taking a toll on me” you explained trying to excuse yourself, rubbing your shoulder as if you were sore. 

He nodded “yeah, okay get some rest, yeah?” 

You nodded at him starting to get up.

“Hey- grab me a beer before you head out would ya?” He asked.

You gave him a thumbs up before heading to the kitchen, your blanket draped over your shoulder. 

You grabbed a beer from the fridge and a drink for yourself and some snacks, heading back over to the couch. 

“Here” you extended your hand out handing him the can. He reached out to grab it, fingers brushing yours.

“Thanks, you’re a doll.” he smiled settling back into the couch. “Sleep well” 

“Thanks..” you mumbled heading down the hall to your room.

You went to your room closing the door behind you. 

For the next few hours you were pent up in your room watching movies on your laptop, and snacking. 

Around 11 you heard the hall light click off. Remer had probably headed to his room. 

You waited until around midnight to wander into the kitchen to get some water. Your feet padded against the carpet, trying to navigate in the dark. You flipped on the kitchen light filling yourself a glass of water. You leaned against the counter taking in the silence. 

Joe probably wouldn’t be home anytime soon considering he hadn’t even bothered to text you to let you know.

You rested your head against the cool counter, it was hot and stuffy in your room and it got nearly unbearable during the summer months. Keeping your window open at night barley helped, it just cleared up some of the humidity. 

A soft noise broke through the silence of the apartment. You stood up straight looking around.

There it was again.

You let your curiosity get the best of you as you wandered towards the noise. Of course it was coming from Remer’s room. What was he doing now? 

The door was cracked open and a faint light leaked from the door across the carpet. 

The noise came again- a frustrated groan.

“Remer?” You asked quietly approaching the door. 

He could be having problems putting the sheets on his bed again. You always had to help him with that. 

You peeked through the door, your hand flying up to your mouth at the sight. 

Remer was lying on his bed, shorts pulled down just enough to have a hand wrapped around his hard, leaking member. Your eyes widened at the thickness. You wonder how you were ever able to take that during the drunk hookup a few years ago. 

Only his bedside lamp was on, illuminating the sheen of sweat that covered his face and bare chest. 

His glasses had slipped and were sitting on the tip of his nose as weak whines and pants came from his mouth, eyes screwed shut. 

His hand moved faster as he arched his back. 

“(Y/n)..”  he choked out in a panting moan 

Oh my god 

You held your hand up to your mouth as you moved out of the doorway as so not to be seen. 

Wait a second.

Was that-

He brought it up to his nose burying his face in it as he groaned, his hand picking up speed.  The sounds going straight to your core.

“Is that my bra?” 

As soon as those words had come from your mouth you clamped a hand over it. 

Shit. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

His head snapped towards the door, pushing his glasses up as he cried out going to cover himself. 

“Sorry I-“ you backed away from the open door. 

He quickly pulled his shorts up, a large tent still remaining. 

He panted softly. “I’m sorry-it was just there and you haven’t been talking to me-so you’ve been on my mind..“ he choked out his voice cracking mid sentence.

Jesus, he sounded so desperate 

You walked into his room, your knees weak as he sat up, your bra clutched in his hand. 

His eyes took in your body, again stopping at your chest. 

You snatched the bra from him, furrowing your eyebrows. 

“Perv..watching me.” He mumbled under his breath. 

You raised an eyebrow “what was that?” 

“How long were you watching?” Remer asked moving closer. 

“I-“ your cheeks flushed.

“It doesn’t matter-don’t take my stuff” you scolded trying to change the subject.

“I didn’t steal it, you left it” Remer protested. 

“Plus shouldn’t I be the one mad at you? You’re completely invading my privacy right now” he crossed his arms over his chest, getting up and towering over you. 

Some of the more loose curls were matted to his forehead. 

“I- your door was open!” You sputtered. “You sounded distressed and I thought you might need help or something-!” 

His eyes changed and a small smirk appeared on his face. “I mean, I could use some help” 

You rolled your eyes, in the process they got lost and trailed down his chest, a thin layer of sweat still covering his skin. Then Down to his member which was still straining against his shorts just begging to be touched. 

God…

“You’re gross” you scowled. 

“You’re a perv” he shot back. 

“I could say the same about you” You huffed softly. 

He looked down at you hungrily. Just his look made you nervous, your heart starting to pick up its pace. 

“I thought you were going to sleep” he said after a moment of tense silence. 

You shrugged softly. “I tried, I couldn’t..”

“Y’know” his hand swept from your wrist up to your shoulder. “I could help you with that.” 

“Doug..” you breathed disapprovingly. 

His brows furrowed. “Hey you can’t deny it, the energy between us has been different lately.”

He was right. Even before the incident things had shifted. You didn’t get after Remer as much when he was a little too touchy. And then after the incident the tension was so thick you couldn’t be within three feet of him without your stomach doing flips.

He stepped closer and leaned down his lips ghosting past your ear.

“Whadya say..” he breathed. He pushed his hips closer his hardened member pressing against you.

Fuck..

His words went straight to your core, feeling your body heat up. 

“Cmon it’ll be between us.” He persisted, twirling some of your hair around his finger. 

His lips moved down to your neck and his arms snaked around your waist. 

You let his lips ghost across the skin sending shivers through your body.

“You’ve been on my mind constantly since the other night” he mumbled against your skin.

“Oh yeah?” 

He nodded. “Can’t get the sight of you in your bra, looking helpless outta my head..” 

“You wanna know what really turned me on?” he asked as he started to kiss your neck softly. 

“What’s that?” You hummed. 

“When you hit me..” you could feel him smile against your skin as the words left his mouth. 

You looked down at him furrowing your brows, his curls tickling your nose.

“Huh? When I hit you?”

He nodded his head lifting up to meet your eyes again. “You’re hot when your angry” 

“Is that why you’re always trying to get on my nerves?” You asked smiling at the boy. 

He shrugged. 

Remer loved it when you got frustrated. The soft sighs and groans that left your lips as he hid your things around the house. He imagined they’d be close to the noises you’d make when he finally got his mouth between your legs. 

“What so you like it rough or something?” You asked laughing a little joking around. 

Remer brought his lips to your neck again. “Maybe” he mumbled. “Would you be upset if I told you I intentionally try to piss you off?”

“By doing what?” This intrigued you.

He hooked his arms under your legs as he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. 

“Mm you know how your computer stopped working last week?” He asked against your shoulder. 

“Remer what did you do?” You asked getting serious, your smile disappearing. 

“I uh- well Coop was using the tv and I was just really horny- I had to get off and I was having trouble and-“ 

“Doug!” You gasped. You struggled against him until he let you down.

“Are you fucking serious?” 

“I needed something to get off to- I didn’t mean to download a virus.” he protested. 

“Remer I need that for work” you scolded him. 

He gulped softly as your voice started to raise. 

“I also, I did go through your drawers” he admitted sheepishly. 

You felt heat rise to your face. 

He started to approach you again.

“It’s just hard to control myself around you” he whined. “Your scent is just like intoxicating and you look better in your underwear than any model in a magazine I’ve ever seen.” 

You couldn’t have any privacy living with two guys. They were always in your goddamn business. 

“What, you want me to slap some sense into you?” You Huffed. 

His eyes lit up. “I mean maybe that’d help me..” he said trying to restore him composure.

He definitely had pissed you off. You’re laptop was unusable due to the viruses he downloaded and you would need to buy a new one, you could hardly afford it and had to pick up extra shifts to even make the first payment. And he had denied touching it when you had confronted him and Coop. 

But…the fact he liked being hit kinda turned you on and flipped a switch in you.

“Sit on the bed” you instructed. 

He did as told rushing over to the bed. You watched his hard on which had started to go away grow again. The sight making you weak in the knees. 

“I can’t believe you did that.” 

“M’sorry, I’m just horrible aren’t I?” He teased pouting a little. 

You bit your lip shaking your head in disapproval. He gulped nervously as you stood between his legs. His hands raised to your hips gripping them tightly. He looked up at you from where he was sitting. 

“Someone’s gotta teach you not to touch other peoples things” 

He nodded.

You stepped back a little watching him. “You’re always-always going through my shit. I never have any privacy.” You deprecated. 

You could see the excitement in his eyes grow as you went on. 

“You’re a fucking perv. Even to live here I had to expose some part of myself to you! You walk in without knocking, my clothing is always disappearing. When will it be enough?” You asked, getting yourself worked up. 

“I can’t help myself around beautiful women” he shrugged innocently.

That’s it, he’d get what he wanted so badly.

You raised your palm seeing him wince before striking him on the cheek. The sound echoed throughout the bedroom and a thick silence lingered after. Doug’s face was turned to the side and his glasses had slipped down his nose. 

A red mark was left behind on his cheek. 

He grinned a little after regaining his composure. “Let me make it up to you”.

He stood up again towering over you. He turned you so the back of your knees were pressed against the bed. 

“I’ll make you feel so good that you won’t have any choice other than to forgive me.” He looked down at you leaning forward. 

“Yeah?” You looked up at him then back down at his soft lips. 

“Mhm” his hand went to your chin tilting your head forward.

You don’t know how he could make your mood change back and forth this quickly. 

“I’ll show you How well I can behave” he moved your chin forward so your lips met. 

Sparks erupted in your stomach when you guys kissed. His hands trialing from your chin to your waist. 

When he pulled away he kissed your jaw softly. 

“‘N I still didn’t finish showing you what my mouth could do..”

This excited you your heart picking up pace. 

He stepped forward, forcing you to fall back on the bed. You scooted towards the headboard as he followed in suit crawling onto the soft mattress. 

“Let’s get these out of the way” he said placing his hands on your knees.

He parted your legs so he could get between them, his hands going back to grab your hips.

His hands slid under your shirt as he pressed kisses to your jaw, down your neck, sucking softly. 

He rubbed circles into your hips as you sighed.

He was good with his mouth. And he was still only above your neck. 

His hands slid up under your shirt, removing it.

“There.. now we’re equal” he smirked as he tossed it to the side. 

Now you were both shirtless.

He kissed down your chest as your hand went to his hair massaging his scalp softly. He hummed against your skin. 

He bit at the plush skin, causing your breath to hitch as you threw your head back.

“Mmm” 

“You like that?”

“Mhmm” 

He pulled your bra down releasing one of your breasts, coming free and bouncing softly. 

Remer could have cum right there just at the sight of the soft skin jiggling and your nipple hardening as it hit the air, excited.

Like last time his mouth was quick to attach itself to it. 

You let out a whine tugging on his hair. His moans vibrated against the sensitive bud causing you to tug even harder. 

You could feel yourself getting wetter by the minute, your muscles contracting around nothing.

“Fuck..” you breathed out as he let his teeth graze past it.

“Doug..” you whined.

You hardly called him Doug. Usually it was only when you were mad at him. You usually addressed both boys by their last name like some sort of teammate or something.

Remer loved it when when you called him this.

He lifted his head up to meet eyes, going back to attack your lips. He bit down on your bottom lip sucking as he let his hand snake between your thighs, cupping your heat through your shorts. His glasses pressed against your face as he hungrily kissed you. 

He removed his hand to hump against you, his hardened member poking your entrance through both your layers of clothes. You could start to imagine his girth just from that, making your heart beat excitedly in your chest. 

You whined as you gripped his shoulders bringing your hips down to meet his. 

He let out a low moan letting his hips buck back up, on instinct trying to push into you. 

Precum was already starting to leak through his shorts as he was painfully hard, basically getting unintentionally edged when you had interrupted him earlier.

“As much as I like this…last time you said you’d only just begun to show me your mouths abilities..” you mumbled as breathed into his mouth “I wanna see what else that mouth can do.” 

He pulled away grinning. 

“If you insist.” His mouth went back to kissing your body, leaving a trail down to your stomach, Kissing, licking, and sucking all its way. His kisses were hot and wet, leaving a noise every time he let his lips detach from your skin. 

When he made it to your waist band he sat up a little. He tapped your knees. “Up” 

You brought your knees up so they were bent, Doug still in between them. He kissed your navel, licking the skin. 

He sank down between your legs letting his nose rub against you through your shorts.

You gripped the sheets trying not to react. 

“God I can feel the heat through your shorts, I didn’t know you had the hots this bad for me” he simpered up at you. 

Your sure you were bright red from that comment. “Shut up” you scowled at him.

“Cchh-shh, calm down” he shushed. 

He hooked his fingers under your waistband pulling your shorts off. 

A smile crept up on his face as he pulled them past your ankles discarding them somewhere in the room.

“Shit, you do have the hots for me! Look how fuckin’ wet you are- I can see it through your panties” he grinned.

His words made your core throb, probably soaking the fabric even more. Of course you had the hots for him. Though you would never admit it because he could be the biggest ignorant and inconsiderate asshole ever, and you weren’t going to let him live with that satisfaction of his roommate fantasizing about being railed by him. 

“Y-you’re just convenient” you fired back.

“Sure thing boss” he hummed raising his brows.

After taking off your bra, He hooked his fingers under your panties pulling them down, revealing your heat, exposed. You shivered as the cold air hit you. 

He hooked one finger on each side of your underwear displaying it. 

“Mmm- y’know I won’t take your bra but I’m definitely keeping these.” 

You furrowed your brows at him.

“Remer- what did I say about taking my shit?” 

He balled the panties up pressing them up to his nose, inhaling letting his eyes flutter shut. 

The sight made you force out a shaky breath. 

He opened his eyes, moving from between your legs. He moved to his bedside table, shoving the panties in the top drawer. 

“Too bad” he mumbled pushing out his bottom lip, pretending to pout, mocking you. 

He sunk back between your legs, brining his face down to your opening. 

He blew softly on your heat, earning a whine out of you. 

“You look delicious”  he hummed.

You looked down at his curls, unable to see his face. 

“I hope todays an all you can eat buffet” he said chuckling softly. 

You rolled your eyes letting out a small laugh. “You’re stupid Doug.”

“I can’t think smart around you” he responded.

You painfully waited as he teased you, using his fingers to part your lips and mumbling things to himself that you couldn’t understand. 

You whined, trying to urge him to touch or do anything to stimulate you.

“God you’re so fucking wet…” he muttered.

Finally he brought his face forward, starting slow and then picking up his pace, attacking your folds. 

You bucked your hips at the sudden feeling, hand going to grip his hair. 

He sucked on your clit, letting his teeth graze over your bud. 

You pushed his face closer, causing his nose to press into your pubic hair and his glasses smushing against the skin. 

You let out a mewl as he basically made out with your clit sucking at the sensitive skin. Lewd noises filled the room as he hungrily fed on you, echoing in the hot and quiet room. 

He pulled his mouth away moaning softly, looking up at you. Your  juices covering his chin. 

“You taste so sweet” he whined out. 

You reached down to pull his glasses off his face 

“There, now they won’t be in the way” you put them on the dresser. 

He Dove back down blowing on you.

He tsked

“Getting all over my clean sheets, you’re so messy” 

Your cheeks flushed as he made comments about you.

“Gonna have to clean this mess up-“ he pushed his face between your thighs, his tongue entering you. You yanked on his hair. 

“Doug!~” 

He gripped onto your thighs to steady himself as he pushed his face forward seeing how deep his tongue could reach. 

You let out a string of lewd noises as he tongue fucked you, muscles trying to clench around his tongue. his grip tightened on your thighs, definitely leaving bruises.

He lapped at your folds trying to clean up the mess you kept creating. 

You could feel yourself already approaching your high. You hadn’t been touched in forever, let alone like this. And you were embarrassed to already be so close. But you’d never felt this pleasured before. 

You bucked your hips up to meet his thrusts, his nose rubbing against your clit driving you crazy. He let his head relax as you gripped onto his hair, guiding it for him. 

You moved your hips as you guided his head up and down, forcing his nose to stimulate your aching clit. 

“I’m close” you cried as he sucked on your bud, feeling your muscles tighten. 

He pulled his head away as you said that. When he looked up at you, you almost came at the sight. His cheeks were flushed and his nose down to his chin was glistening. He looked at you through half lidded eyes smiling.

You whined at the loss of his mouth, the cold air hitting you again making your muscles clench. 

He sat up going to kiss you, forcing you to taste your own juices. You moaned as he knotted a hand in your hair, tugging gently. 

He brought it around to the front where he squeezed your throat.  You threw your head back gasping softly. 

“Mm y’like that?” He mumbled into your neck nibbling on your ear lobe. 

You nodded. 

He kissed your jaw as he sat up.

“My tongue’s a little tired, I think I’m gonna show you the thing I’m best at” he smirked. 

You gazed up at him through your lashes

“And what’s that” 

He pulled down his shorts tossing them to the side leaving him in boxers, his member straining against them leaving no need for the imagination. A wet patch had leaked through. You pressed two fingers to the dark patch.

“That’s all because of you” he said nodding softly. 

You hooked your fingers in his waistband, pulling them down. His member sprung out slapping against his stomach. He hissed lightly as the cool air hit him. Your eyes widened as you looked at him between your legs. 

It looked even thicker up close and he had a thick bush. This somehow turned you on even more.

He seemed to notice the nervous expression on your face. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll try not to split you in half” he said trying to suppress a smile.

You nodded as you leaned back resting on your elbows.

He rubbed his tip softly, precum leaking from it. He ran a hand down his member slicking it up with his own juices. 

He leaned forward looking down trying to guide himself, a hand on his base.

The only sound was your heavy breathing, your chest rising and falling. 

He kissed your neck softly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go slow” 

He lined himself up, pressing through your folds and guiding the tip in. You spread your legs apart even more hoping it would help open you up. Luckily you were wet enough for it not to be horrible. 

“So wet I don’t even need lube” he breathed out. 

You screwed your eyes shut digging your nails into his shoulder as he pushed himself in inch my inch. 

Your muscles tightened around him as he slowly inched in until he bottomed out.

He filled you up perfectly. You felt so full.

He pressed his face into the crook of your neck as he let you adjust, waiting for the pained look on your face to go away. 

You gave him a nod and he propped himself up. 

His pace started slow at first. His girth moving in and out of you causing your head to roll back. 

“Oh Doug..” you whimpered.

“Tell me how bad you want it” he mumbled into your ear.”

“I need you…so bad” you mewled cupping his face as he panted into your ear slowly thrusting in and out. 

Those words were all he needed. 

He pulled out to shift you, throwing your legs over his shoulder to get a better angle. 

He Gripped your hips and gave you a quick kiss on the lips before slamming into you. You gasped gripping the sheets. 

He immediately started ramming in and out of you at an inhumane pace.

You used one Hand to grip his shoulders, your nails digging into his soft skin and your other hand naturally went to his hair.

Wet noises filled the room as his hips met yours over and over again.

Doug was not quiet in bed and his moans and whines drove you crazy. He was definitely enjoying this as much as you were. 

He leaned forward to give you a kiss every now and then, his nose pressing against your face. Though kissing wasn’t very successful. So lust drunk that it was basically you just moaning and panting into each other’s open mouths. 

“So fucking tight- gonna loosen you up so much that you’ll feel empty unless I’m the one fucking you” he growled into your ear.

You nodded crying out as you yanked on his hair, his head falling back. You watched his eyes screw shut and his mouth hang open. 

“Oh god..” he whimpered.

“Do that again” he begged as he fucked you harder, the headboard starting to hit the wall. 

You tugged again harder this time.

“So good babe” he mewled. One of his hands went to your throat clamping around it as he fucked you senseless. Hips snapping forward. 

You screwed your eyes shut as he cut off your airway feeling the high within your brain. Every few seconds he loosen his grip to hear you moan and let you breathe. 

You felt your legs shake as they sat on his shoulders, heat pooling in your stomach. 

Doug was determined to have you finish before him. He pressed a hand to your lower stomach increasing the pleasure.

You cried out, bucking your hips do meet his thrusts. 

“Oh fuck Doug- I’m so close” you cried as he pressed in your stomach.

He nodded, a bead of sweat dripping down his face. 

“Look at this (y/n)!” He grabbed your hair, yanking your head up to watch him thrusting inside you. You moaned as he did so. 

“I’m the only one who can fill you this good!” He raised his voice, but a shaky whimper remained behind it. 

“I’m the only one who can fill up a slut like you” he growled. His words sent you over the edge as you clenched around him, earning a high groan from him. 

He furrowed his eyebrows as he let your hair go, letting you fall back into the pillows. Your body buzzed as he thrust into your sensitive spots, making you whimper. 

His hand came up to palm your breast as he felt you start to clench around him, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

“Doug I’m close~..” you panted. 

He nodded. “Come for me- look at me when you do” 

You lifted your head to make eye contact with him as he thrust into you. You clenched around him as he watched you, his mouth slightly open. 

You gripped his shoulders as you felt yourself peak. 

“Mm say my name when you cum” he told you. He thrusted over and over into your sensitive spot as you reached your climax.

You felt your eyes roll back as your body clenched around him, shaking.

“Jesus- Doug!” You cried out as you came, harder than you had in a long time. 

“M right here baby” he assured you, as he slowed down his pace a little.

You panted as you came down. He kissed you as you came back. 

“M right behind you” he slowed down pulling out, his length fully erect and painfully hard. 

You rushed to sit up shaking as you wrapped a hand around his length, pumping it as fast as you could get your buzzing arms to go. He sat between your legs moaning as he tugged on his own hair whimpering obscenities. 

“M’ cumming” he warned. 

You bit your lip panting as you sped up, rubbing his tip. 

“Oh fuck, yes- yes (y/n)!” He cried 

You watched as his eyes rolled back and hot cum spirted from his tip, getting on your stomach. 

His mouth hung open as he came to, panting.

“Holy shit” he mumbled.

You nodded.

“And you were down the hall this whole time?” He breathed. 

He looked down at you, propped up on your elbows, cum on your stomach and your own juices wetting the sheets beneath you.

He grabbed a tshirt from the floor cleaning your stomach.

Gross.

He laid down next to you, putting on his glasses and looking at you with half lidded eyes, pulling the blankets over you both.

“So m’ i any good?” He smirked kissing your jaw.

You nodded, still exhausted. “I can’t believe we hadn’t done this sober yet” 

He nodded in agreement. “I can’t imagine how that time we were wasted went” 

“I’ve been wanting you for so long” he smiled.

“Yeah?”

He hummed. “Yeah”

“Was it as good as you imagined?” You asked

“Better” he panted running a hand through his hair. 

You sat in silence for a bit, listening to the air conditioning.

“Next time it’ll be even better” he assured you.

“Who said there’s gonna be a next time?”you said turning to face him. 

He smiled “what, are you saying you didn’t enjoy this enough to do it again?” 

You shook your head “wasn’t saying that at all…” 

“Mm so like I said next time will be even better” he repeated turning to burry his head in the crook of your neck and splay an arm around your waist. 

[mazepie]

I kind of want someone to draw this

[d3adite666]

Doug Remer and Joe Cooper Headcannons

Gender Neutral :)

MDNI NSFW/SUGGESTIVE THEMES

Doug Remer

- Definitely would pick you up when he hugs you, especially if you’re way shorter than him

-He probably makes fun of you in a loving way, calling you nicknames to “mock” your height difference, that type of guy to use your shoulder as an armrest to annoy you.

-“I’m like a tree compared to you, it’s adorable how short you are” with a sly smile (mf you wanna be a tree i’m gonna climb you like one)

-Going with the hug thing, he would so sling you over his shoulder and carry you away. You’re having a conversation with Coop? Too bad, you’re getting swept up and carried away.

-This man would be down bad, like yeah he seems all smooth and shit but deep down he prob twitches when he gets nervous.

-Playing with his hands and twiddling his thumbs, blushing if you literally just acknowledge his presence. If he flirts and you reciprocate that?? Boy he’s a mf goner, consider him folded.

-Definitely the type of guy to be having his arm draped around ur waist and then manhandle your ass, playfully yes but you’d give him the stink eye and he’d act like he didn’t do anything.

-Would get high with you and then beg for you to do his makeup, straddling his waist as you sit there putting eyeliner and lashes on him. (maybe you can convince him to put on a dress to flatter his slutty waist, oop who said that).

-Loves the feeling of your hands in his hair. Sometimes will just lay down with his head in your lap in the hopes that you’ll get the message. Looking up through his eyelashes with puppy dog eyes.

-Wants to always be in physical contact with you, a hand on your thigh, arm around your waist, your head on his shoulder. You name it he will yearn for it, even if it’s just interlocking pinkies under the kitchen table.

Joe Cooper

-Personally, Coop to me feels like a gentle lover, afraid to break you just by holding your hand as if you’re a fragile artifact.

-Maybe it’s my personal view, but just like trey i feel as if coop would also be an avid enjoyer of The Cure.

-If you’re goth you definitely told him he looks like blonde Robert Smith once and that almost brought a tear to his eye (this is just fact trey looks like young robert in my eyes).

-Yearning love, would have a crush on you in highschool but would never tell you out of fear of rejection or you pushing him away.

-He is the type of guy to sneak looks and then get flustered and look away if you catch him, maybe even grabbing a book or some shit and acting like he’s doing something completely different.

-Along with this he is so oblivious to your affections, remer and squeak would be screaming at him that you reciprocate feelings and he’d pull some “idk man” bullshit.

-Would drunk dial you, i will take no critcism. Coop would call you after a few drinks and tell you he pissed his pants at school in sophmore year or some shit. (You’d never bring it up though to not embarrass him).

-Literally generates heat, bro is a mf fireplace. You’re cold? Go sit next to Coop, it’s not like he’s gonna let you leave his side anyways. You’re babysitting him 24/7 (not that you mind).

[telekineticseance]

KINKTOBER '23

Below I've listed the Kinktober list I will be using for the month + the links that will go with each one as they're posted. Not every one shot will be Mattrey related but most of them will. Now while I didn't come up with this list in it's entirety, I was able to choose my daily options from the @kinktober2023 account! Let me know which one you're most excited to read and happy Kinktober!

OCTOBER 1ST - LEATHER & LATEX - PURPLE PASSION W/ TREY PARKER

OCTOBER 2ND - ROLEPLAY - NOISE COMPLAINT W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 3RD - HATE SEX - DEMOLITION LOVERS W/ TREY PARKER

OCTOBER 4TH - PROSTITUTION - CALL ME W/ TREY PARKER

OCTOBER 5TH - SWEAT - NEIGHBORS W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 6TH - CHASTITY - INEFFABLE W/ JOE YOUNG

OCTOBER 7TH - VIRGINITY - FIRST TIME W/ MATT STONE

OCTOBER 8TH - BREEDING - TEN MORE MINUTES W/ MATT STONE

OCTOBER 9TH - LACTATION - BETWEEN US W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 10TH - NTR - SECRECY W/ TREY PARKER

OCTOBER 11TH - HUMILIATION - INCAPABLE W/ MATT STONE

OCTOBER 12TH - SOMNOPHILIA - LATE NIGHT W/ TREY PARKER

OCTOBER 13TH - SIZE DIFFERENCE - DID YOU MISS ME W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 14TH - ORGASM DENIAL - NOT YET W/ MATT STONE

OCTOBER 15TH - SHOTGUNNING - SMOKE SIGNALS W/ MATT STONE

OCTOBER 16TH - PUBLIC SEX - DRIVE IN W/ TREY PARKER

OCTOBER 17TH - THREESOME - TRIO W/ DOUG REMER & JOE COOPER

OCTOBER 18TH - OLFACTOPHILIA - THE ROCKSTAR’S GF W/ MATT STONE

OCTOBER 19TH - EXHIBITIONISM & VOYEURISM - ACROSS THE WAY W/ TREY PARKER

OCTOBER 20TH - SHOWERING - LOCKER ROOM SHOWERS W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 21ST - PANTIES & LINGERIE - CAMERA SHY W/ DAVE THE LIGHTING GUY

OCTOBER 22ND - INTERCRURAL - THIRD BASE W/ JOE COOPER

OCTOBER 23RD - DEEPTHROATING & FACE SITTING - QUEEN’S THRONE W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 24TH - CROSSDRESSING - REUNION W/ MATT STONE

OCTOBER 25TH - EDGING - NOVEMBER W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 26TH - MASTURBATION - ALONE W/ DOUG REMER

OCTOBER 27TH - S&M - SAFE WORD W/ DAVE THE LIGHTING GUY

OCTOBER 28TH - COCKBULGE - POOLSIDE W/ JOE COOPER

OCTOBER 29TH - BREATHPLAY - ASPHYXIA W/ JOE COOPER

OCTOBER 30TH - OVERSTIMULATION

OCTOBER 31ST - IT'S A SURPRISE!!!

[snifsnoof]

this post surprised no one ever

[ethernetcows]

joe cooper x reader x doug remer hc's

for the lovers who can't choose :)

these two have such good chemistry when you first met them you were terrified that they wouldn't like you as much as they like each other. jokes on you, they both fell in love practically at first start.

the rivalry between coop n remer is increased tenfold as soon as they realise their feelings for you. remer figures it out first when the other girls don't hit the same for him. coop realises after remer starts talking about you.

you have an automatic invitation to every baseketball game, front row seats ofc. it just turns into a game of who can impress you the most. it's not the most practical for baseketball championships but it is entertaining.

you have to turn down invitations to the locker room's hot tub like 100 times a day.

remer is much more forward, he'll openly hit on you in front of anyone and everyone. partly to assert dominance and partly because he values you above his dignity.

coop is a little more subtle, a.k.a he feels shame, he'll make sure he's around you as much as humanly possible. within reason of course. he's charming so you don't mind.

they both get you these cheesy promise rings with chunky coloured gems and gold plated bands. you wear one on each hand and they clash with every outfit but you don't want to disappoint either. like remer'll come up behind you and slip coop's ring of your finger then he'll toss the ring back in coop's face. but as soon as he's gone, coop's put the ring right back on your finger.

you go on secret dates to make sure neither gets jealous but they always end up bragging about it to each other anyway.

if you end up with coop, of course remer will be supportive of his bro but he's gonna be severely grumbly for a long while. he turns around eventually, taking on the 'if they're happy, i'm happy' mindset.

coop is the most gentle boyfriend. you know how if you give a dog an egg it'll pick it up in it's mouth and hold it without breaking. he is your dog. protecting you is his number 1 priority, he can and will do the most to make you feel safe.

if you end up with remer, coop just goes silent for a while. he is jealousy 100 and he prefers to remove himself from the situation rather than cause a ruckus. when he regains his composure, he can deal but he still loves you.

remer has nothing but love and devotion for you. he is a very dedicated boyfriend, he gives you everything he can. prepare to either have his hands on you or in you at all times. he is very physically affectionate.

both are very boyfriend and very baseketball.

[weedburglar]

Whenever I see Matt in this shirt I actually start going fucking feral

I’m having several different feelings rn

[lovelymel]

❛ 𝓝ext 𝓓oor ❜

joe “coop” cooper x fem!reader x doug remer

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n :: I LOVE BASEKETBALL i literally have watched it so many times + im a coop girl 🤭

warnings :: swearing, coop n remer being coop n remer

✧ ✧ ✧

ever since you moved into a cheap little neighborhood in milwaukee, you’ve found yourself concerned with your next door neighbors. just two twenty-something year olds with nothing to do apparently, as signaled by the fact that all they appeared to do was shoot hoops in their driveway and cause a racket with their pets.

although they admittedly dressed like bums, you had a thing for them. how could you not? there was something about them.

despite their good looks, you could not stand the noise they made. their dog growled whenever you walked past their house, the cat hissed and mewled throughout the day, and you could even hear crude jokes from the thin walls of the cheaply built houses.

on one particular summer evening, you decided you had enough of their ruckus as you heard non-stop blowtorch noises.

what are they doing?! you frowned, slipping on your shoes and stomping over to the house next door.

ding dong.

you stood at their door, tapping your foot and crossing your arms. whoever was in there took their sweet time coming to the door. it felt like you had waited there for hours.

finally, a blond opened the door, sporting goggles covering his eyes and a blowtorch in his hand, “oh, hey, we’ve never actually talked before, miss…?”

“y/n l/n. i just wanted to know what you’re doing.”

“joe cooper, “coop”, and uh, just some building.” he says, quickly taking off the goggles and tossing the torch to the side.

you just nod, “ehm, well could you please keep it down? i have work to do.”

“oh, yeah, sure,” coop said, “i never really see you that often. what do you do?”

“i’m looking for a job still…” you sheepishly reply.

coop gives you a tiny smile, “i’m sure you’ll find a job! it can’t be that hard.”

“well, what do you do?”

“i don’t actually have a job either…”

steps from another person were starting to get louder. you could hear another man yapping at coop, who was obviously very embarrassed. his face was dusted with a light pink.

“coop, man! you gotta start cleaning the hairs off the soap bar! and what happened to the la-z-boy? what happened to my baby???”

coop closed the door a bit, “would you excuse me for a sec?”

despite him closing the door, you could hear both guys shouting.

“shut the hell up!”

“you’re the one who decked the la-z-boy!”

“there’s a chick outside!”

a few seconds later, a man with curly hair and a set of glasses opened the door, “hi miss l/n, we’re really sorry for the disturbance. if there’s anything i could do—”

“—we could do.” coop butted in.

you looked down, tapping your foot on their porch, before glancing back up. god, they were attractive. “it would just be great if you guys could keep it down.”

you were turned, facing your house. before you stepped past their driveway, coop called after you.

“hey! you said you needed a job right?”

“uh, yeah… why?”

remer piped up, “we’re making this new sport, and if you want we could pay you to be a cheerleader to promote it. you’d be great.”

“y-yeah. you’d be perfect.” coop chirped.

you grinned at them, noticing how rosy their cheeks were. you told them you would sleep on it before making your way back to your house. it honestly didn’t seem like such a terrible idea…

[treyisms]

sellout! remer is so “if coops not treatin you right you just come see me and ill fix u right up”. like you’re coops first gf and he really wants to please you, so he has remer show him how to make you feel good. so remer is like knuckle deep in you and you’re whining and coop has your head in his lap giving you kisses and shushing you to comfort you, and remers like cut it out dude shes fine. but then hes unbuckling his belt and coops like um dude what are you doing? and remers like “well i gotta check if shes stretched enough for you buddy!” its literally just a blatant excuse to fuck you but coop hasn’t caught on and you want remer just as much as he wants you and remers so shitty like “alright y/n, coops smaller than me but its better to have a bigger cock first so you can mold to it, so squeeze me extra tight okay?”. the soft naivety of coop looking down at you with so much love while remer is literally plowing his gf & coop going to give u kisses to remind you he’s there <3 :’)