#Dream of the Endless x f!reader

[inkymagpie]

The Book Keeper Pt 1: The Dream is Crumbling

Summary: You are the daughter of Thoth, Egyptian God of knowledge and writing. Three centuries ago you were appointed to the head of the New Alexandria library; once thought burned in a great fire it now holds all of the knowledge that was ever written by man. But when books start to go missing, and even worse are found burned beyond repair you realize something sinister is occurring.

Pairing: Morpheus x f!reader

Chapter Rating: General

Overall Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Angst

Chapter Summary: Days went by, and then weeks and then months, Dream of the Endless did not return to the Dreaming; and you began to get more and more concerned letters from Lucienne. Her normal pristine penmanship becoming more scratchy, fear evident in her writing.

The Library of Alexandria…a pinnacle of knowledge, a testament to the wisdom that the Gods bestowed upon humans through their scholars, their muses; a bastion for all those that sought out the unknown, the lessons of both the Heavens and earth. A gift so generously given only to be squandered by human folly and greed.

Mortals can be such fickle creatures.

It is said that the Library burned to the ground over two thousand years ago; the casualty of humans and their need to conquer their need for power. Razed in a war brought on by an Emperor from a foreign land; and it was thought that the books that had burned and the knowledge that they contained was lost forever. And it was…at least to mortals.

As the fires spread and scholars wept, the Gods had predicted this and had delivered the scriptures from the mortal realm back to the kingdom of the Heavens. New Alexandria, a beckon of knowledge now reclaimed and protected by its benefactors; and its caretaker, Thoth, God of the Moon, of scriptures and writings.

For more than millennia and the better half of another Thoth watched over the Library; its corridors and sections ever growing and expanding as time went on…But then Thoth was gifted a child from his devoted wife Ma’at.

Most Gods were known to have many sons and daughters, who then in turn had sons and daughters of their own and so on and so forth, but you, you were the only daughter of Thoth…His only child.

He watched as you grew, taught you of his realm, the realms of others, of humankind; and of the ancient ever presence of the Endless. He taught you the gift that knowledge was, how it shaped both past, present and future. And he taught you the importance of protecting it, so that it might be forever preserved.

However despite his teaching you viewed the importance of knowledge somewhat differently from your father, and at times it brought about tension between the two of you.

You became a Goddess of curiosity, of inquisitiveness finding more in common with mortals than Thoth would care for you to have and you spent much of your time cavorting about on earth, partaking in human customs and curiosities. And with your inquisitiveness and witnessing of the tribulations that man faced you also became a creature of compassion.

Thoth supposed you must have gotten some of that from your mother, though you were definitely more of a handful than she. He deemed that it was high time that he appointed you to a station, and perhaps that would settle you down some.

Around the turn of the century of 1600 to 1700 he gifted you with one of the most important appointments of all: Head Librarian of the Library of New Alexandria. At first you had been disgruntled by the fact you would be spending most of your time in relative solitude, no longer able to have the freedom to galavant around in the mortal realm with such frequency. But as the first decade went by you realized how much you loved being the caretaker of the knowledge that spanned all the way to the dawn of man.

You had always loved to read, how could you not? But the books and scriptures that had always been read to you or presented for you to read had usually been about great events in history, famous ballads and sonnets; epic tales of trials and tragedy. But now as the curator you had access to every story, large and small and you found yourself more fascinated by the very human stories; like a friar that had lost his sandals in the river while washing them. Or a man in a dimly lit tavern that said that he would never die.

The day to day life of mortals was fascinating and they all were so different, no two were exactly alike and you find that to be just as interesting if not more than the rise and fall of an empire. It was just so…human.

During your first century as Librarian you got to see a great number of important visitors; some other Gods, ones that you knew since childhood. Others were fae folk and beings of various magical prowess. But the most interesting guest to grace the halls of New Alexandria was an Endless.

He had arrived with your father one morning and you had watched with great curiosity as your parent spoke in soft tones with him; your father had eventually beckoned you over and you obeyed eagerly.

You had never met an Endless, though you had read about them and of course heard tales. You observed him keenly, non too covertly which had caused your father to scold you for being rude. But the Endless had gazed upon you with a look of amusement, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. And when he spoke his voice was as warm and as rich as honey and just as soothing.

“So you are the keeper of the books.” He had asked.

“Y/n and yes I am,” you bow quickly, watching him still. “Who are you? What realm are you from?”

“I am the King of Dreams and Nightmares and as my title would suggest my realm is The Dreaming.” He replied with a subtle fondness.

“Are you here for knowledge? I have a strict return policy.” You reply puckishly.

Thoth gave you a pointed look, and tapped his quill on the lip of the parchment board in his grasp. Ah, another warning.

“I like to make sure that the books are cared for, looked after.” You corrected hoping to appease your father.

“More should follow that practice.” The Endless nodded his head sagely. “And in a way, yes I am here for knowledge.”

You cocked your head at this, curious.

“The Dreaming has a vast library of its own and I believe it would be beneficial to share that knowledge across them.” He said.

You had heard of the Library of the Dreaming, after all Gods were born in the Dreaming, originally stories themselves brought to life by humankind.

“Might I see it?” You had barely been able to contain your excitement, the idea of seeing the stories yet untold by all living things, what a treasure that would be to witness in person.

“Perhaps one day my child, when the time comes.” Thoth spoke and gave a small nod to the Dream Lord.

“A raven will be in contact with you.” The Endless continued before you had anytime to pout. “They will bring you news of the Dreamings collection as well as ferry desired literature.”

“I will allow you one of my Ibis to do the same Y/n, until your sacred animal manifests.” Your father added.

You had gazed at the ground somewhat ashamed; your sacred creature had still not come to fruition, your worship still young and growing had not yet bore you a beastial symbol.

“I will take my leave Thoth, God of the Moon and Scripts.” The Endless said before he turned to you. “Y/n”

You bristled at that, your station as a goddess was rather small this was true, but he seemed to disregard it entirely.

“And you Morpheus, Shaper of Forms, King of Dreams.” Thoth nodded.

And as the being called Morpheus began to disappear into a cloud of white gold sand his gaze landed on you again.

“I suspect Lucienne will be most interested in speaking with you.” He commented.

“Who is Lucienne?” You called out but he was already gone, sands disappearing into the ether.

You had blinked, thinking for a moment before crossing your arms with a huff.

“He seems a bit-“ your father quickly interrupted you with a look. “…lovely.” You gritted out instead; insufferable you’d rather say.

“This will be a great honor, a partnership with one of the Endless.” Your father turned to leave. “I have the utmost trust that you will face the task with diligence and logic.”

You had watched as your father left the Library, heading back out into his kingdom.

You of course were diligent about your work…but you couldn’t help but take great pause with logic…

____

The smell of weathered pages, bound in leather and pressed paper and permeates the air; a comforting, familiar scent that you had come to love since childhood. The golden light of sun cast through the stained glass windows, casting rivers of iridescent colors across the worn limestone floors of the vast library. When you were given the appointment of head librarian of New Alexandria, Ra had bestowed upon you a gift that while the Library was in your father’s domain of the Moon, a kingdom ever beneath the star sky of the cosmos, you would always have the light of sun grace the halls of your station.

You sigh happily, a thermos of hot tea with milk and sugar in your grasp; you had popped into your favorite tea shop in the mortal realm; you didn’t think your father would be too upset with just a little visit; and innocent one no less! They also made the most delightful breakfast foods there and you took another bite from the pastry you had purchased as well; whoever said the God’s dined on ambrosia had never had Welsh cakes.

You walk further into the expanse of the ever growing library, enjoying your morning treat as you wait for your tea to cool. You hear the flutter of wings and you watch as a kingfisher flies overhead chortling at you, a rolled up parchment paper in its grasp.

You had been expecting a list of possible Gods from Lucienne. While most were never more than dreams, some came to fruition and would be more than figments of imagination and become beings of history.

The kingfisher drops the scroll on your very messy (though you insisted it was organized chaos) desk and lands on a tall reedy piece of drift wood you had set up as a perch. Next to them stands a large ibis, ever watchful of the recent addition to the library.

It had been over two centuries now that the ibis your father had bestowed upon you had aided you in your task, now more of a sentinel, ever keen and observant. Your worshippers had finally bestowed upon you a sacred beast. And while not as prominent or as distinguished as perhaps your fathers ibis or Anubis’ jackal, the kingfisher was a delightful creature that many mortals associated with the freedom and curiosity you so possessed.

You trill gently to the bird and tap their beak affectionately as you come to your desk, it trills in return and ruffles their feathers. You bow to your father’s ibis who ducks their head to you and begins to walk out into the library having completed its duty of making sure you hadn’t gotten lost gallivanting across the realms.

You sit down and begin to unravel the parchment paper, the kingfisher preening themself as you start to read the list from Lucienne, ready to document everything for the Library records.

Being a relatively new Goddess yourself having only come about during the time of the printing press it was still strange to see the concept of potential additions to new and old pantheons. Mortals were always coming up with new concepts to believe in, to worship; some more prolific than others.

Not too long ago you had seen ideas for gods and goddesses of steam after the industrial revolution had spread across the globe. Now it was electricity with the invention of the light bulb (something that you heard Thor was a bit sour about).

You laugh as you read some of Lucienne’s little quips and notes in the margins of her list as you document the ideas formally to fresh pressed papers. It was something that you had both started to do; an entertaining thing to lighten the mood, that and your frequent book exchange you had started doing for the past hundred years. In fact you were almost done with the last book she sent over, perhaps you’d finish it up tonight and tell her about your thoughts in your next letter.

Shortly you come to the end of the list. It didn’t appear that any of the new potentials were manifesting yet past dreams, though you think that perhaps something might happen with the idea of electricity since mankind fancied it so.

You sort the notes and give the stack to the kingfisher to take to the record's section (which now had sprawled far beyond their initial wing of the library). As you hand the papers over, twine forms along the left edge of the papers binding them together, the date appearing at the bottom right of the first page's corner. You would set them in the proper records book later.

As the kingfisher takes off into the belly of the library, you quickly gather up the personal letter that Lucienne also included with the list. You always took great joy in reading about the happenings of the Dreaming. Gods did dream but they didn’t enter the kingdom unless invited, or so your father said. Lucienne had visited you far more times in your realm than you had ever visited her in her lords (which you could count the total on one of your hands, and on one of your fingers). And you hadn’t even seen the Dream King himself while you had attended.

You begin to read through Lucienne’s letter, smiling at the mentions of Mervyn and how he always managed to strike a nerve. You had decided long ago that you would very much like to meet him in person as he sounded like quite the character. You flip the page and continue to read.

You frown at the mention of something more sinister than usual. A rogue nightmare…while it was true that Luceinne had told you about how colorful and at times creepy the Shaper of Forms creations could be, she had always said that they remained in the Dreaming. But here she was saying that he was out in the world of men, preying upon them. You made a note to check the stories of life to see if you could find anything more about this creature and if he had affected the history of man.

You breathe a small sigh of relief when you read that the Dream Lord had left just this morning (or perhaps it was night? Hard to tell sometimes when dealing with the mortal realm) to deal with the matter. You are sure that with the quick intervention that the stories of men will not be too affected.

However you could sense some sort of apprehension in the words that Lucienne wrote. You grab a stack of fresh papers and a fountain pen and begin to write back to Lucienne, hoping to ease your friend's worries. Perhaps you would send back a book as well; a favorite of yours to give some comfort.

Surely it would all be fine…

Days went by, and then weeks and then months, Dream of the Endless did not return to the Dreaming; and you began to get more and more concerned letters from Lucienne. Her normal pristine penmanship becoming more scratchy, fear evident in her writing.

And you yourself began to fear as well…the mortal world was suffering, even the other Gods whispered of a sleeping sickness that plague mankind. Your father continued to bathe the night sky under the light of the moon, but there were no dreamers to be found in its beams.

The library was changing…the stories of mankind becoming something that you feel they never should have been. Countless books now filled with the same suffering; from the pages of a young girl that could no longer find sleep to the pages of a doctor overwhelmed and doing anything they could to find a cure… an answer.

But the thing that scared you most was the pages of those that didn’t wake up; day after day the papers remained blank. Thousands upon thousands of mortals' life stories filling with blank chapters.

Your father had told you that Destiny had a path and to not interfere; if this was the history that mankind must write then it must be written. You had been quite angry with him and whoever this Destiny was…cruelty like this was not something you could bear to see. It was then you also realized that if mankind was suffering then what horrible fate was the Lord of Dreams facing; what horrible cruelties were befalling him that the whole of humanity ailed.

This had to end…

But it didn’t and months then turned into years.

Your letters to Lucienne became so commonplace that one of the Dreaming ravens and your kingfisher had started passing by each other while delivering notes. You had begun to slack on your own duties as a curator and instead of simply documenting and protecting the vast wealth of knowledge you began to pour through it. You looked for anything you could find, hints in the life books of mortals of where the Shaper of Forms had gone. You had also started to disobey your father more and more as well…traveling to the mortal realm in the light of Ra so that your father would not see you in the path of the moon.

And then one day…

“Miss Y/n!” You hear a frantic voice, it’s oddly familiar and you rapidly look up from your research. If you hadn’t been sitting you would have fallen on your behind.

Lucienne stumbles towards you, a waning portal flickering weakly behind her as she gains her footing.

“L-Lucienne?” You are still shocked she’s here in person; she never left the Dreaming to enter your realm unannounced.

“Please Y/n, I know that I did not send word but-“ she ducks her head.

You’ve never seen her so distraught and your heart aches as you worry she might begin to cry.

Quickly you stand and rush to her side.

“What is it, Lucienne, please what’s wrong?” You beg her to tell you, placing a warm hand on her shoulder, urging her to look at you.

“The books… they are all disappearing.” She says her eyes watery as she looks up at you and you feel her hands shake as she takes your other hand in hers. “Whole sections of the library; they are gone.”

Behind her the portal flickers and dissolves into the air. She drops to her knees and you follow, easing her to the cool stone of your own library.

“I used the last of my magic to get here…to seek your aid.” She says.

“Can the books move realms?” You ask quickly.

“I believe that they can, there are millions of them though.” She replies, brow furrowing.

“Can we gather residents of the Dreaming to help us bring the books here?”

“The residents have all left, save for myself and a few others.” You stiffen; they’ve all gone?

You knew that dreams and nightmares had been abandoning the crumbling realm but you didn’t know it had become such a mass exodus.

“We’ll gather those that are left.” You turn your head and whistle to the kingfisher that is by your side in a quick beating of feathered wings. “Gather your friends from the mortal plane please, bring them here and ask them to make haste.” You whisper to them and kiss their soft head.

The kingfisher coos and with the flutter of its wings takes off.

Slowly you stand, facing where the portal Lucienne came through had disappeared; you close your eyes and focus. Plucking at the threads within the ether, pulling them taught, weaving them together until a golden path is spun before you that leads directly into the library of the Dreaming. Lucienne watches, eyes softening and tense posture easing slightly.

“Thank you Y/n.” She says looking up at you, the thankfulness clear in her deep brown eyes.

”You are my dear friend Lucienne, I would do anything for you.” You reply and hold your hand out to her. She takes it, a soft smile on her lips as she stands.

You look to the glittering pathway, you wonder briefly if your father would be displeased with this action. You are, after all, interfering with another realm, however you doubt he would want to see a millennia of knowledge decay… you decide that you’ll deal with it later.

[cyantomatos]

In Your Dreams

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x f!reader Word Count: 1.9k Summary: Morpheus finds out something you have tried very hard to hide. Notes: Aaaaah I’m branching out because this man has taken over my brain and filled it with worms for the last few months. Apologies for the deviation from my normal characters, but I never claimed to be consistent 😅

“So, when are you going to tell him.”

You look up from your book at the talking raven with a confused frown. “Tell who what, Matthew?”

Matthew scoffs, or at least as close as he can get to the sound and movement in a bird body, hopping a few spaces closer across the library table. “When are you going to tell You Know Who how you feel about him?”

You roll your eyes, carefully closing the book that you’d had open. “Matthew-”

“No, no, I’m tired of watching the two of you dance around whatever this is. You may not be able to see it, but Morpheus-”

“Morpheus sees me as at best a friend, and at worst a short-lived annoyance.” You give the raven a pointed look, ignoring how he puffs up and ruffles his feathers in annoyance at your response. “We’ve had this conversation before, Matthew, and my answer is always going to be the same.”

You get up from the library window seat you’d been perched on for the last few hours, gathering up the books scattered across the table. Lucienne might have let you have free-reign of the books in the library, but you were going to clean up after yourself. 

“I don’t understand why you won’t just listen to me on this, I know the boss, I know what I’m talking about.”

Shaking your head you shoot the raven a small smile, turning towards the tall shelves. “Yes, Matthew, you know him. But you’re also sentimental, and I think your personal feelings are getting in the way here. You’re seeing things you want to see because you want your friends to be happy. And I appreciate that, I do, but it’s not real.”

You slot a book into an empty space on the shelf, Matthew hopping along behind you. “Morpheus lets me hang out here because I don’t cause trouble and he can learn more about humans without having to go out into the waking world. And because you and Lucienne like having me around.”

“Yea, but-”

“I’m human, Matthew, and not a particularly interesting human at that. I’ve got the lifespan of a fly compared to him, and I’m probably just as annoying as a fly sometimes.” You slotted books into their places as you walked, briefly wishing you’d grabbed one of the wheeled carts that were scattered around the library. At least then Matthew would have had somewhere to sit.

“I think-”

“You think things that aren’t true, Matthew. I’m lucky Dream sees me as something like a friend in the first place, considering how well that went over with Hob. I’m not going to ruin that by confessing stupid human emotions to him. I don’t want to lose the Dreaming and the friends I’ve made here.”

“You-”

“Matthew…” You let out a sigh, slotting the last book into place. “I appreciate it, I do, but-” As you speak you turn towards the talking bird, and suddenly understand why he kept trying to interrupt you.

Morpheus stands a few rows down with a shocked expression on his face, eyes wide and mouth slightly open like he’d intended to say something. You freeze, staring at him in horror as a creeping sense of dread settles over you. Below you Matthew nervously hops towards you, ducking his head. “I did try to tell you.”

The two of you stare at each other for a moment, a heavy silence settling over the library. Your thoughts are racing too fast for you to keep track of, but you finally settle on one;

You have to get out of here.

You take a step back just as he steps forward, and the movement sends a bolt of panic down your spine. The adrenaline combined with your sheer panic is enough to convince your body you need out of the ‘dream’ you’re in, and you’re suddenly pulled out of the Dreaming and into your body.

You sit bolt upright in bed, adrenaline still flowing through you. It takes a moment for you to process the change in scenery, but as soon as you do you’re frantically climbing out of bed. Morpheus knows where you live, you’d shown him your small apartment months ago, and it’s only a matter of time before he gets over his shock and turns up here.

The sound of sand swirling around your living room chases you out the door, shoes and phone in hand.

It takes you a while to decide what you’re doing. Once the panic wears off, all you're left with is dread and a general sense of trying your best not to cry. You probably look insane wandering around in your pajamas, but you can’t find it in yourself to care.

Eventually you end up in a park, settling on a bench tucked back into some trees. You hope the cover means Matthew can’t find you, giving you more time to think.

It seems you were wrong, because within only a few minutes you hear a caw from one of the high branches, and seconds later sand swirls across the grass a short distance away. As soon as Morpheus appears, brows furrowed as he watches you cautiously, Matthew jumps off the branch and glides away.

When you tense, ready to bolt again, Morpheus holds up a hand. “Please, don’t run again.”

It’s not the request that gets you to stay. It’s the ‘please’. 

You watch him warily as he steps closer, every bone in your body screaming to run. You know this isn’t going to end well, you know his history and how he is with humans that try to get close, and you’re terrified to see how he reacts to this.

As he steps closer, however, you realize you don’t see the anger or indignation you were expecting. Instead, he looks…sad?

He stops a few feet away from you, just watching you for a moment like he’s afraid you’ll still bolt. When you don’t, he shuffles to the side, settling on the bench beside you.

There’s a moment of silence, and then, “Were you…afraid of me?”

It’s like something breaks in you. You let out a strangled laugh that you’re sure sounds half mad, dropping your head into your hands. “Yes, Morpheus. I was scared. I still am.” You look up, nearly faltering at the devastated look on his face. “I know how you reacted to Hob daring to think you were friends. How do you think I might assume you would react to a human daring to fall for Dream of the fucking Endless, despite the fact that I had no say in it. Is it really so astonishing I might be afraid of how you would react?"

You drop your head into your hands again, unable to handle the sight of him looking at you like that. Like you’ve just personally stabbed him in the heart and twisted the blade for good measure.

“I wouldn’t…I would never hurt you.” He’s almost whispering, and you can’t help but scoff.

“I didn’t think you would hurt me, but you didn’t hurt Hob, either. You just left him thinking he’d lost his only friend for over a hundred years.” It’s a low blow, you know that, especially considering such a large chunk of that wasn’t his fault. You sigh, pressing the heels of your hands into your eyes, colorful sparks filling the darkness of your vision. “I couldn’t risk losing...any of it. Matthew, Lucienne, the Dreaming…you. It wasn’t worth risking all of that, not even close to worth it.”

The backs of your eyes burn, and you let out a shaky laugh. “I’ve probably lost it all now anyway, now that you know.”

The silence stretches out between the two of you, taught and fragile, like even it is waiting for something to happen.

You nearly jump out of your skin when his fingers brush your skin, wrapping loosely around your wrist. He tugs, gently, pulling your hand away from your eye. You open the one free eye, watching in some combination of dread and amazement as his hand slides into yours, long fingers twining with yours. 

“I am…sorry. For making you believe you needed to hide from me.” You tilt your head, free hand still holding your head up as you look at him with wide eyes. He’s watching you warily, a myriad of emotions written across his face, and it makes your heart ache just to look at him.

He swallows, hard, and breaks eye contact, dropping his gaze to your entangled fingers. “I am aware of just how badly I failed Hob, and I am…trying, to make amends for how I acted in the past. With him and with others. Allowing you to visit the library and more of the Dreaming than most humans have access to was part of that, at the start, but it…” He pauses, letting out a shaky breath, “It became more than that. I look forward to seeing you there, now, and I hadn’t realized how badly I have apparently failed to show that.”

Morpheus squeezes your hand, more of a comfort to himself than you, you suspect, and glances up at you. “I would not have been upset to learn of your feelings. I am not upset. Not when they are more than I ever dared to hope you would feel for me. Not when you are not alone in those feelings.”

You’ve been shocked before in your life. Surprise birthday parties, a better grade on your test than you expected, a puppy for Christmas. None of that, none of it, compares to the shock of learning that Morpheus, Dream of the Endless,  reciprocates your feelings.

You stare at him for a moment, long enough to become aware of just how long you’re staring. You blink, and then blink a few more times, sitting up straight like it’ll help you think.

“I’m sorry…what?”

Morpheus blushes, blushes, pink dusting his cheeks and creeping down his neck. He ducks his head like he’s trying to hide, although he refuses to drop your hand. “I was unsure of how to tell you.”

You can’t help it. You start giggling, tilting your head back to look up at the canopy of trees above you. It feels like a weights been lifted off you. A big, stupid, ironic weight. This whole time you’d been worried for nothing.

You giggle for probably longer than you should, the fear and panic from the last couple hours draining away and leaving you feeling giddy. When you finally tilt your head Morpheus is watching you, a small smile on his face that you suddenly desperately want to kiss now that you know you can.

You still hesitate, grin faltering as your eyes flicker from his lips up to meet his gaze. He reaches over, free hand cupping your cheek. “I am sorry, for making you think you needed to be afraid of me.”

Leaning forward you press your face against his shoulder, suddenly unable to handle the emotions shining in his eyes. “S’okay. It was mostly me assuming, anyway.”

You feel his lips press against your temple and tilt your head back, dizzy with how close his face is to yours. “You can make it up to me, though. If you’re really sorry.”

He grins, beautiful and devastating, and strokes a thumb over your cheek. “How would you like me to do that?”

It’s your turn to grin as your eyes flicker down to his lips and then back up to those star-bright eyes. “I’ll think of something, I’m sure.”

[writerinlearning]

sighing…. my sandman fic isn’t showing up when looking up the tags 🤧

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

oooh I'm curious about The Sound Of Their Wings!

Hello lovely 😍

This is the fic I’m going to concentrate on for now.

My idea was while watching The Sandman that it would be great to tell it from a Raven’s pov but then the more I thought about it and the more info I gleaned as I watched, the more my idea evolved. (9 rewatches now I think. Don’t judge me 😅)

So reader is a not just a Raven, she in fact a being that was sent to help find Lord Morpheus and that is her purpose. Of course, once she has found him and freed him from the mortals, what is to become of her? An entity with no purpose? Will she be allowed to continue to exist? Can she be found a new purpose? Or will Lord Morpheus find himself tumbling down a rabbit hole of needing her more than he knows?

I have posted the Prelude and Chapter 1. I was struggling with Chapter 2 but I think I can approach it from a new angle so I need to rewrite that tomorrow.

[hunny-beann]

I am literally having the worst day ever, do you think you could write some insanely fluffy Dream for me? I'm talking tooth rotting levels of fluff here.

Rest Now, Wife, Mine

Dream of the Endless x f!Reader

Note: Hi anon! Thanks a ton for the adorable request, I had a lot of fun with it and really hope it helps make your day feel a bit better <3

Synopsis: Morpheus' wife finds their bed far too lonely without him in it, and seeks out his presence to remedy this so she may finally succumb to slumber for the evening.

Thankfully, he is all too happy to oblige.

Warnings: None! Just pure and unbridled fluff :)

Word Count: 1,298

Her steps are silent and her pace slow as she approaches the familiar throne room, sensing even from outside of its walls that it is as close to empty as it is going to get for the evening.

That said, as close to empty as possible for the throne room of an Endless such as Dream was not nearly as empty as one might think, with it being a rarity that he not be found there.

She fights back a shiver as she steps across the threshold, her bare feet suddenly far colder than before, and her majority uncovered shoulders beginning to undergo horripilation at the seemingly inexplicable shift in temperature.

That said, being easy to explain was not a rule that the Dreaming followed, so this was nothing new, and certainly nothing unexpected.

Though, the sudden voice that split the once heavy silence in twain on the other hand, was.

"And what could possibly have you awake at such an hour, dear wife?"

The voice asked quietly, laced with both amusement and even a twinge of concern that had the wife in question smiling softly in spite of her best efforts to not appear excited at the mere sound of her love's voice.

Oh, but she had never been that strong, had she?

He had her wrapped around his finger just as he did the entire realm that he ruled, though he notably reserved the one with the ring for her and her alone.

She padded up toward his throne quietly, not willing to answer his question until she was close enough that her voice might not reverberate so loudly off of the palace walls.

Some words, she had decided long ago, were for her husband and her husband alone.

Upon her eager approach, the Lord of Dreams could not help but raise one of the corners of his mouth at the mere sight of her, holding his hand out at her nearness to guide her to stand before his crossed legs as he reached gently to take her other in his own as well, making a mental note of how chilled her extremities felt due to the cool night air of his throne room.

He watched as she slackened slightly at his familiar touch, her body always so happy to find him near in a way never ceased to have his heart all but melting at her feet.

What a disastrous little thing she was, truly.

He could never love another.

As her form relaxed at the feeling of his hands on hers, so loving in spite of the power that they held, she could not help but yawn softly, eyes growing teary as her ease allowed the weight of the day to truly set in.

Her dearest Dream Lord smirked up at her, his brow raised knowingly and his eyes twinkling as he watched her fight off the eternally tempting wiles of sleep.

What a sweet little thing, so helpless in her battles against her own biology that it was entirely too amusing to ignore, and always far too entertaining to neglect to bear witness to.

"You are tired, my dear."

The Lord of Dreams stated matter of factly, tugging his beloved closer using his soft grip on her hands so he could properly brush some of her hair behind her ear, a gesture which caused her eyelids to flutter closed briefly before they snapped open once more, her fight against herself not yet over in her eyes (though Dream could see clearly in the way that she swayed on her own two feet that there was already an obvious victor).

He chuckled quietly, shaking his head,

"You need to rest, sweet stardust. Let me bring you back to the bedroom."

He spoke gently, rising to guide her back to their soft and familiar bed only to halt when he heard her reply.

"No, I don't want to go back, you're just going to leave once you think I'm tired enough not to follow."

The Dream Lord faltered upon hearing this, raising a questioning brow in response before lowering himself down upon his throne once more, though this time he pulled his wife right along with him, sitting her on his lap in order to get a better look at her exhausted expression.

He frowned.

"Have you been staying awake on purpose, my love? Lying in wait for me as you promised you would not do?"

She shook her head, but he could see the way that the blood rushed into her cheeks as she tried to explain, embarrassed to admit the things that she had to in order to quell his worries of any intentional harm having been done.

"No, of course not, I just..."

The Lord of Dreams hummed and brought one hand to her back, rubbing up and down along her spine and feeling her lean against him unintentionally in response, her bones heavy and all too prepared to sink into whatever comfort they could find.

"You just what, dearest?"

He urged, causing his lover to nod blearily in response, slowly coming back to reality again.

"I just find that sometimes I cannot bear to sleep alone, that the bed feels far too wide and empty without you in it."

Dream fought back a slight smile upon hearing this, feeling more than a little bit proud to know that his wife could rely upon him enough to truly need him so (though he was notably unhappy to hear that this was causing her any amount of unnecessary strife).

"And is tonight one of those nights, beloved?"

He asked, watching as she nodded, her head lolling slightly upon her neck as her overworked muscles struggled to remain in control over her all too tired body and mind.

"Poor thing,"

Dream all but purred in response, adjusting his love upon his lap until she was leaning against him, breaths warm on his neck and body seeming to grow heavier by the second as the feeling of his familiar closeness drove her into a type of ease that was felt only at a lover's closeness.

"That will certainly have to be remedied, won't it?"

He murmured against her ear, feeling her shiver in response, nuzzling closer with a nod as he gathered his coat that had been hanging on the back of the dais behind him with just one hand, draping it over her body and pressing a soft kiss against her head as he felt her begin to drift off into a much needed and far too well deserved slumber.

"Rest now, wife, mine."

He said softly, feeling his dearest love smile gently against his skin at his familiar words and the use of his favorite (and almost sickeningly sweet) nickname for her,

"I will see to it that no one interrupts you as you do."

If she had been more awake, perhaps the woman would have rolled her eyes or even offered a sarcastic retort in response to her husband's dramatics, but instead she simply nudged herself closer, pressing a gentle kiss against the pale flesh of his neck before she drifted off for the very first time that night, feeling truly safe in the arms of her most adoring love.

And when morning arrived, and the throne room became far less uninhabited, the two of them made for quite a sight, indeed.

After all, who would have thought that the Lord of Dreams might choose to sleep simply to live life as his dear wife did, his cheek pressed gently against her head and his arms wrapped around her as slumber found them both, pulling them closer together, ever still, in the very same way that they belonged now, and always would for the remainder of eternity, and perhaps even beyond that.

ao3 link

[visionsofmagic]

⎯ I missed you.

[masterlist]

྾ pairing: Morpheus [aka dream of the endless, & sandman] x f!human!reader

྾྾ summary: after disappearing for over a century, Morpheus finally get his freedom again. as he takes his sand back he begins to find you, his beloved girlfriend or was at least, who has given a gift from him, a stone that stops aging like endless. however, everything turn into ashes as he sees your new life, with someone else.

྾྾྾ word count: 3.6k

྾྾྾྾ explanation: requested by an anonymous: “Still with you or treat you better with Morpheus x human reader. Chose any of these two songs bc I’m confused and I must this idea is quite interesting”. After reading this request I wanted to use both of them because they will work so good together! I hope you will like it! songs that used; treat you better by shawn mendes and still with you by jungkook from bts. thank you so much for your request dear anonymous! <3 I hope you and other readers will like this. <3

྾྾྾྾྾ warnings: a little of my own imagination [especially with this particular stone that helps person to not age at all], not comic related. angst, dream being angry & jealous, original character, cursing (just one), rough kissing, protective manner, lots of tears, fluff, misunderstanding.

     We laugh together, we cry together. These simple feelings were everything I had. When will it be? If I see you again, I will look into your eyes. And say, "I missed you”

                                                           &

     I know I can treat you better than he can. And any girl like you deserves a gentleman. Tell me, why are we wasting time. On all your wasted crying. When you should be with me instead?

                                                           ≡

  Dream was captured by Roderick Burgess on June 10, 1916. He had spent for over a century, in a glass, like a bird. Each passing time in that glass changed him. Thoughts, manners, and sympathy towards human were some of these changes in his character. Being humiliated by a mere human, not being able to move freely at all and making people suffer unintentionally because of this mere human’s own greed and hunger for power affected him, more than he expected.

However, not for a second, his love for his beloved human didn’t change. He started to find humans irritating creatures, just seeking for power and glory. Indeed, he felt anger towards them but not for you. Not even a little bit. Love in his heart for you didn’t extinguished. Contrast, it even increased because of realizing how much he missed you, how much he needed you and how many nights he found peace in his memories you two had.

You were belonged to each other. You were the reason why he kept hope in humanity. You were the most precious thing he had in his realm. In some certain days, he visited you in your dreams, sometimes with making his presence known to, on other times, being hidden to give you peace and seeing your peaceful face. Even if you asked him to do not control your own dreams, not turning them to good ones for all the time, he surely didn’t listen you. He didn’t want to see you suffering because of dreams you had, because of him.

He thought times you had together in his realms and in your world. Every time you laughed he put them in imaginary bottles to not forget them. Every time you cried on his shoulders, he promised you to be on your sides for eternity. Every time you kissed, he found himself tasting the sweetest flour of the whole realms. And every time you had intimate moments, he kept telling himself how he wanted to hold you inside his arms forever.

He even gave you a stone which he created with his own power in order to deign you an endless life. With this stone you wouldn’t die. You would be on his side for ever. It took him nearly 5 years to make you use this stone. You kept telling him how this was unfair for other people and it was totally against of your own human life. You didn’t want it. You thought there were other people who deserved the stone, not you. Your delicate heart touched his own one, if he had one. He knew if he really had a heart, physically, he would give it to you without thinking twice to make you live more.

After his confess about this whole situation, you accepted to wear it. That day, he was the happiest endless.

And today, he was the saddest.

He watched how his heart, you, was laughing with another man. Your laughs belonged to him. He was the one that you felt this happy with. He should be the one that stand on your side, not a random guy whose presence was nothing more except anger and pain.

How you could be happy if he wasn’t on your side? How long he had been gone to make you find happiness with someone else? Did you forget the love you held with him?

As painful questions kept traveling in his mind over and over again, he couldn’t help but making his dark presence noticed by you.

Eyes that spreading light, still, met with his now darkened ones due to feeling an unknown emotion in his chest. What was it, jealousy? No, he was not someone that can be jealous by a mere human’s presence. Not at all.

He saw how your face expression’s changed in a second. Firstly shock and confusion hit you. Then, sudden realization about who you were looking at. Lastly, some unreadable expressions filled your pretty face. He couldn’t name your emotions, changed in a second so fast, because of focusing more on the man’s hands travelling on your hands. Anger was filling each part of his internal body. Hands that missed to touch you turned to fists.

Even if he wanted to get closer to you, he stayed where he was, on the other side of the road, right in front of the café where you were in. He wanted to see your reaction first. He wanted to see your choice; acting like you didn’t see him at all or picking another option.

He was patient with you. He didn’t move at all ‘till you got your senses, understanding the situation. Then, he saw how you said something to other man who was looking at you in confusion, then to Morpheus. His blue eyes met with Morpheus’ dark colored ones. Morpheus’ attention turned from his eyes to you. That’s was when he realized how you rushed to leave café. Your body full of beauty appeared on his sight again as you left the café.

People were blurry for both of you. His eyes were focused on you while you nearly run towards him, passing some people and cars by risking your own life. He would tell you how reckless your action is normally but not now. He needed you to run to him. He waited so patiently ‘till you crossed the same floor that he stood on, opening your arms widely, and hugging him by his neck strongly, like he was your savior.

Your body’s warmth met with his cold one. His hands stayed on his sides, not making a move to hug you back. Even if you could feel his dark aura, you didn’t seem to mind. Hands stayed on his neck after stepping a little step to back to meet with his face, hurt tone that stayed in your voice that he didn’t hear for a long time. “Morpheus –“ Both of you felt sudden pain on your chests, you for finally being able to call him again and he for finally hearing the most beautiful voice, calling his name. How he missed to hear his own name that came from out of your mouth.

“I – You – How –“ You couldn’t keep going. With shaking voice and hands, tears began to fall from your eyes. They were real. He knew it. However, he couldn’t tell why you were crying, for you or him. Maybe both at the same time. His anger was no longer a barrier between you after seeing these tears. His hands immediately held your face, catching every tear from falling to your cheeks.

“I – I can’t –“

“I know.” This time it was your turn to feel heavy due to hearing his voice.

You touched his face with your soft hands. They travelled from here to there on his face. Then, hands began to touch more; hair, neck, shoulders, and arms. As hands stopped on his messy hair, you said, “God, Morpheus,” You tried to stop crying, “I – I missed you so much!”

Then you hugged him again. And finally, he hugged you back.

People kept walking pass from them, still blurry. In that moment, neither of them thought something else except each other. Their bodies melted with each other’s warm touches. His coldness was already warming thanks to feeling you inside his arms, finally.

Oh, how he missed you too.

‘ ‘ ‘

  “Good evening Ms. Hedy.”

You put a smile on your face as entered the apartment you lived in. One of the neighbors, Ms. Hedy who liked you like you were her own daughter she never had, was leaving the apartment at that moment. Her eyes looked you, then to Morpheus with a clear curiosity.

“Good evening to you my little girl,” If only she’d knew how older you were, you thought. “Who is this pretty gentleman?”

You smiled widely, pointing Morpheus who was keeping his silence, “He is Morpheus –“

“Oh, is this the gentleman you were talking about?” She closed their gaps a little to study Morpheus’ face more, “Hello there young man,” She smiled warmly, “Y/n talked so much about you,” She turned to you, whispering like Morpheus were not there at all, “I can see why you have such a love for this gentleman, my little girl. He is good one.”

Morpheus turned to you after lady’s confession, making your cheeks turn to color of pink instantly. “Ms. Hedy!”

“All right, all right. I will leave now but visit me tomorrow.” She pointed Morpheus, “We have so many things to talk.”

Then she left with a little chuckle. You tried to act like this didn’t happen. Morpheus followed behind as you walked towards your house on the second floor of the apartment. Silence between you stayed ‘till both of you entered the house, a place no one to disturb. There were only you now. Hot feelings began to rise in your chest. Tickles on your neck and palms made you realize he was real. Morpheus was real and he was in your house.

You pointed couch for him to sit. As he sat down finally, you began to walk from left to right in front of him. Love you held in your heart, soul and body was like a phoenix. After seeing him, this phoenix came back to life again with its ashes. After a really long time, you felt alive. Yes, so many questions were distracting you from the world but every gaze he gave to you made you focus on him instead these questions. They would be answered sooner. However, he could disappear suddenly. This fear made you sick.

“How – I mean – How –“ You tried to start a conversation, but words weren’t coming from your mouth. There were so many different feelings at the same time, hard to carry.

Morpheus who is only one can understand you fully without you saying any word, nodded slowly, “I was going to send back a nightmare to my realm that had left it without permission.” Your tensed body didn’t unnoticed by him. “This man, called as Roderick Burgess, captured me to seek power he desired so much.” His voice was filled with anger. As he kept telling his story slowly with a little information, you couldn’t help but kneel down in front of him. Your hands touched his kneecaps, your head rested on his left thigh. Your sudden closeness made you two become silence for a certain moment.

Even if a hundred, maybe more, years passed since the last time you both shared a touch, it didn’t feel like it. Indeed, you felt so lonely, so much pain in these years that felt like eternity, but now, it looked like years past so quickly. Like there was no pain in your body now. However, there was. There had to be. So many years without him changed you. You weren’t the same woman with so much happiness and joy. Without him, the world seemed as hell.

“I am so sorry.” You touched his cheek, caressing it. “I am so sorry that I couldn’t save you.”

“Why?” You knew what he was referring to with this question; why you didn’t come, why didn’t you try more.

“He said –“ You tried to speak, taking your hand back, looking anywhere except his heart breaking face, “He said you were dead.”

“Corinthian?”

“Is this his name?”

He nodded, “He’s the nightmare who escaped from my realm.”

His memories flashed in your memory, making your hands shake. Morpheus held them immediately, “Did he hurt you?”

You shook your head, negatively, “No. Surprisingly. He just said you were that and I could give him the stone.” You looked the necklace on your neck. “I escaped somehow. I think he let me go. To play mickey and kitty game, I suppose.” You looked at him again, “He is bad. He is so bad.”

Empathy filled his face. Iceberg in his heart already began to melt thanks to your presence. It was just an hour together but you already began to affect him in better ways. Wounds on his soul, if he had one, were healing. You were his cure.

“I tried to see a dream or even a nightmare. I tried to access to your realm but there was none. It was like everything left with you.” You chest’s heaviness increased with each confess, “If I could get in touch with Lucienne, things would be better.” You touched his face with both of your hands, “You would be better. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t. “I appreciate your efforts.”

He both sounded genuine and sarcastic at the same time. Your face show how much this made you confused. Was he thinking you didn’t try enough?

“I tried, Morpheus.” You stood up, “I fucking tried but there was no way for me to get in touch with you.” You turned your back to him, whispering yourself more, “There was no way.” Tears began to fall. “You were gone.”

After a long silence, he stood up too. Thanks to his now calmer aura you felt on your back, you came to your senses.

He asked, “Who was he?”

That’s was when you remembered Robert, your current best friend that you left in your favorite café a hour ago with a sudden explanation how you saw an old friend after a long time. He said it was okay and let you go. You knew his feelings about you, love as he told, but you were already in love. With no one other than Dream Lord’s himself.

“He is a friend of mine. He does magic.” You spoke with only truth, “We met when I was seeking powerful magician to help me.”

“When?”

“25 years ago.” You turned to him, “He is using magic to slowing down aging.”

“Apparently.” That was all Morpheus told before a raven’s mouth’s tip your window. You opened it immediately, realizing this was another raven that you saw on Morpheus’ side.

Without using its power to fly, raven just took some steps towards you, looking curiously, then, to Morpheus, “Man, it was so hard to find this place. Why you left so suddenly?”

Morpheus looked annoyed, “I told you to not follow me.”

“Yes, I hear this a lot today but what difference it makes? None.”

You chuckled how this raven had encourage to talk with Morpheus in this way. Your chuckle made him turned to your direction, tilting its head to right to study you.

“Y/n.” You said, “His girl –“ You fixed, “One of his old friends.” You didn’t know if Morpheus still felt love in his heart for you, so, it was better to call yourself as an old friend.

“Matthew, my lady.”

You smiled, “How gentleman you are Mr. Matthew the raven. Pleasure to meet you.”

His wings raised a little to greet you, “The pleasure is mine.”

You turned to annoyed Morpheus, feeling real happiness today, “He is cute. You should be friend with him.”

His arrogant face didn’t leave; instead, he just changed the subject.

“This friend of yours –“

“Robert.”

“Robert.” He stopped for a second, “Are you two –“

You immediately shook your head, “No, no.” You took a deep breath, “We are just friends, Morpheus.”

“It didn’t look like it.” His anger was rising.

“What are you trying to say?” You felt anger inside too. Was he really thinking you were in love with another man?

The moment he left his mouth to say something, a knock came from door, hinting you there was someone to visit you at this hour of evening. You wondered who this unexpected visitor was, quickly opened it, not reliving inside that much to the visitor.

However, as you see Robert’s concerned face, you surprised. Right now, you were talking about him and you saw how Morpheus felt irritation with his presence on your life. This is going to be bad, you thought as you tried to put a smile on your surprised face, “Robert?” You could feel Morpheus piercing eyes on your back, “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, “I wanted to see you are okay.” He tried to look inside, which was covered with your body.

“Of course I am okay. What wouldn’t I?”

“Because you left so quickly with this man and I thought –“

“What did you thought?” Morpheus’ strong hold on your door opened it suddenly, reliving his face to Robert who looked surprised at how this strange man was in your apartment. You weren’t someone who was taking many people to your apartment as he knew thanks to 25 years you spent together.

Morpheus tall body was right behind you, covering yours with his stronger posture. You could feel his chest on your back, alerting you to how angry he was.

“Hello,” Robert tried to act cool with him, “I am Robert. Y/n’s friend.”

Morpheus kept his silence.

Robert’s hand rested on his back hair, “I just wanted to see my friend is okay.”

You spoke, “I am Robert. Don’t worry.” You pointed Morpheus, “He is Morpheus.”

Sudden realization appeared on Robert’s face. From what you saw, he felt sadness too. After all, Morpheus was the one who your heart belonged to.

“Oh,” He nodded, “I see.” Put a smile on his face, “Then, I should leave you two alone.” You smiled as well. You would definitely hug him if Morpheus saw him not as enemy, but a friend. “I am glad you are back, Dream Lord.”

He then left without any other word. You really felt bad for him but you promised yourself that you would gain his heart again, as a friend of course.

After closing the door, you looked at Morpheus, turning to his direction but keeping your closeness. You wanted to say something but after being in this close with him, chest to chest, head to head, words became blurry on your head. You already forget where you was, what time was it, and what happened a minute ago.

Now, it was just him. Him only.

Heavy feelings made their places knowledgeable again. However, you felt good emotions too; peace, happiness and love at its highest. So many years past. So many years with his absence. However, your love for him didn’t decrease even a little bit. Instead, it increased each day. With each passing day, you saw how your world was meaningful with his presence on it. You weren’t someone to rely on someone else but he was different. He was Dream Lord, Endless. He was the Sandman. Mostly, he was Morpheus. Your Morpheus. He was meant everything for you. The moment you met with him in his own realm, you knew how he would took your soul at his own as well as your heart. They were no longer yours only, they were his too. Like his soul and heart were also yours.

“Y/n,” He said, weakly. After a long pause, in which he had so many emotions on his eyes that you loved to look, he said, finally, “I missed you.”

That was the last thing that made you lose control. That was the last thing you remembered as your lips met with his. With great hunger, lust and love, you began to kiss like it was the last time you would kiss freely. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. All you knew was with each kiss you both would share; you would kiss like it was your last.

His cold lips’ warmed with yours, his hands on your waist, yours on his neck, pulling him close. You didn’t care that you needed air to breath after this kiss. You just simply enjoyed it without thinking at all. Morpheus’ lips were the sweetest liquor and you were going to drink all of it.

He took two steps to forward, making your back meet with your now closed door. In seconds your lips were departed, you took a deep breath only to meet with his lips again. Hunger, lust and love were rising. His hands were travelling on your body as well yours on his. This was going to be a night in which you would make love to each other like past times. You wouldn’t stop ‘till daylight. So many things would happen until you both show how much you missed one another. This night was going to be a long one.

He broke the kiss for a moment to say, “You know, I can treat you better than anyone else. Right?”

First, you were too drunk thanks to his lips and intense warmth to understand what he was referring to. Then, you realized. A smile appeared on your face, “Are you jealous, Dream Lord?”

He looked angry, “Me?” He kissed you passionately, “Never.” He began to kiss your neck, saying, “I just wanted to make you realize that there isn’t a single creature that gives you what you deserve.” He even bite your neck a little bit, sending vibration to your core. “I am the only one.”

A moan escaped from your mouth as he placed his hands on your lower part, suddenly, with a great but gentle power, “I am the only one for you, Y/n.”

You tried to nod, “You are Morpheus.” You kissed his lips again, “You are the only one for me. For the whole eternity.”

And this was the last logical thing came out of your mouth that night.

Morpheus finally was there, with you. And you knew how he would take his whole revenge from these years you spent separately, which you would accept with such joy.

love, rose <3

[melancholypancakes]

Y/n = Your name

F/n = Friend name

*Y/n having a conversation with F/n about her lover Dream*

F/n: you can’t be serious the emo guy? Really? I thought you were better than this.

Y/n: First of all, he’s not emo and he’s actually really sweet…

F/n: “Sweet?!” He looks like a creep and he’s brooding definitely depressed emo vibes girl.

Y/n: F/n you’re being silly. Sure he’s a a loner but he’s really a romantic when he’s with me. He brings me flowers and greets me everyday with wonderful…dates.

F/n: Are you sure he’s not just using you for Dark evil intentions? Not thinking of hurting you or respects you-

Y/n: How dare you?! Of course not! Dream loves me he wouldn’t imagine hurting me and has no Evil intentions with me. Our relationship is nothing like that!

*Y/n smiles just thinking about her lover*

Y/n: he’s so loving and kind towards me, considerate of my feelings, cares about my well-being and takes me on marvelous dates…he’s not a bad guy he’s just lonely.

*F/n is shock that Y/n really serious about this brooding man*

F/n: Wow…you must really love this guy huh?

Y/n: yeah….it might be cheesy but he’s the one for me and I think he feels the same about me.

*Y/n smiles lovey dovey just thinking about Dream*

[f0rever15elf]

Lucidity

Pairing: Dream of the Endless x F!Reader Rating: G Word Count: 8,470 Warnings: food mention, no y/n, death mention, no beta

Summary: An enigma of a dreamer is called to Dream’s attention, and she has something to teach him about what it really means to be human. 

A/N: Yes, I’m still alive haha. I know it’s been a long time since I posted, and I’m sorry about that. I had this idea a couple of months ago and finally got it finished. I love this series so much, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it.

Masterlist |  Ao3 

Humans. Frail, fleeting creatures. Their existence is but a blip, some eighty or so years, on average. Not even a century. And yet, they live. Perhaps it is the fleeting amount of time they have to walk in the Waking World that lets them live as they do, some without fear and regret and others still with desperation to never die. They live and they love and they laugh and they sing and dance and grieve and weep. And it is beautiful.

And Dream of the Endless bears witness to it all.

The whole of existence's unconsciousness is born within him. A swirling maelstrom of emotions ranging from hatred to infatuation, from complacency to unbridled rage. He feels it all in the center of his existence, and he uses it. He uses it to paint the dreams and the nightmares of every creature. He is a teacher, ultimately, revealing the challenges that must be faced for one to grow in this world. Nightmares channel fears, and every creature has them. No living soul goes without a night of terror at some point in their fleeting lives. That is… until her.

“My Lord.” Dream’s hand freezes in midair, his pause indication to speak. The librarian folds her hands behind her back, polite as ever. “I believe you will want to see this.”

His head turns slightly towards Lucien, curiosity piqued. “See what, exactly, Lucien?”

“A dreamer. One who in her three decades of life has never once been successfully visited by a nightmare.”

Dream’s hand twitches, and the partially completed corporialization dissolves. “What do you mean ‘never’? All mortals are visited at one point or another.” His coat swishes behind him as he turns sending embers trailing behind him as he approaches his librarian and friend. “It is impossible that in thirty years time she has yet to face one of my nightmares.”

Lucien lifts her chin and pulls back her shoulders, looking up at her Lord. He’s defensive again, bristled as he usually gets when he feels control slipping, as if he has something to prove. “Perhaps you should see her for yourself, my Lord.” Dark eyes that flicker with the energy of the whole cosmos behind them size her up and down before he nods. The librarian turns on her heel without another word, Dream of the Endless close behind her.

It’s to Fiddler’s Green where she leads him. The breeze is warm and soft as it tickles across his face, caressing through his toussled hair. And with it comes a gentle melody in a voice as soft as satin. Lucien turns to face her master, nodding towards the young woman sitting in the middle of the field. “Several other dreams have told me about her, so I looked for her in our records. She’s been visited by nearly every dream and nightmare in your kingdom, my Lord, but never once has a nightmare completed its tasking.”

“What of her records from the Waking World?” he rumbles, eyes transfixed on the anomaly currently playing with one of his newer dreams. “Fears, trauma, regrets, guilt… Anything at all?”

“Nothing, sir. Nothing as simple as the dark nor as complex as death troubles her. Every decision she has made, she has accepted with grace and not a thread of guilt clouds her heart. There is, plainly speaking, nothing for nightmares to adhere to. There is no need for them in her dreams.” Lucien looks back to the woman now laying in the grass, laughing as she holds up the small, fluffy dream above her. “She’s an anomaly. An enigma. I’ve never seen anything like her in all of my time in the Dreaming.”

“Mmm.” He waits for a moment, watching, before beginning to make his way towards her. But then she sits up, grass and leaves in her hair and he is struck for a moment by how beautiful freedom looks on her that he freezes mid stride. And then she tilts her head as if deep in thought, and turns to look at him. Her face is curious for a moment, eyes wide as she takes him in with all the openness of a child seeing stars falling to earth for the first time. Then, her lips part and she smiles and something deep inside of Morpheus clenches. It feels as though the air has been torn from his lungs and he is overcome, unused to being seen in dreams unless he wills it. And so, with a borderline frantic wave of his hand, he dissolves the dream, the young woman vanishing from his realm to leave only the echo of her melody on Fiddler’s Green’s gentle breeze.

“Forgive my saying so, my Lord, but that seemed a bit of an overreaction.”

Morpheous’ coat flutters softly on the dream’s breeze as he collects himself for a moment, turning back to face his librarian. “I did not allow myself to be seen by her.”

Lucienne’s brow furrows, her head tilting as she brings her hands to fold in front of her. “You were not visible to her? But she looked directly at you.”

“I know.” Dream looks back over his shoulder, the little, newly born dream sniffing the ground where she sat only moments before. “I have no idea how she managed to see me so clearly.”

“Shall I look into her records, my Lord?”

“...Yes. Anything you can find on her. Do not rule out meddling from my siblings.” Morpheous turns, gliding past Lucienne soundlessly. “Desire has already shown their willingness to meddle in my affairs. There is no telling to what lengths they will go to inspire what they see as my downfall.”

“As you wish, my Lord.”

~~

Days pass, and the Lord of the Dreaming keeps himself busy, wrapped in his work constructing new dreams and nightmares, sending them off on their maiden visits to the unconsciousness of humanity. He is more productive now than he has been in centuries, churning out his new creations at a borderline frantic pace all whilst Lucienne pours over tome after tome about the young woman in the field. And at the end of nearly a week of constant study she finds… nothing. Nothing outside of the norm, that is. She has a mother and a father, both of whom still walk in the Waking World. No siblings to speak of. She’s had several dogs and a cat through her life, and a gold fish named Blue at one point, which met a fateful end all too soon. She’s had her successes and her failures, has her dreams and desires. But the one thing pointedly missing are her fears. Not that she doesn’t feel fear, no she very clearly feels it, but there is nothing...lingering. Nothing to cause the birth of a nightmare, nothing to promote a change that she is unwilling to face. And that… that is the only oddity the studious librarian can seem to find.

“That’s impossible.”

Lucienne sighs, looking to the ground for a moment before looking back to her Lord, his attention on the animated glass panes of the throne room. “Clearly it isn’t, because she exists and is once again in Fiddler’s Green. It’s where she has gone every time sleep takes her, my Lord, almost as if she is purposefully choosing it.”

“That, too, is impossible.” Morpheus turns, brow pinched and lips parted as he moves towards his second in command. “The only ones able to control the Dreaming are myself and a vortex. And she is neither.”

“Nor is she a child of the Endless. She is just… a human. Plain and simple.”

“If my time among them has taught me anything, Lucienne, it is that humans are far from simple.”

“Then what shall you have us do, my Lord?”

Dream raises his head, looking out towards the entryway as he ponders his next move. “Matthew.”

“Yeah, boss?”

Morpheus turns to face his throne, ebony raven perched on the armrest. “I need you to watch her in the Waking World.”

“Uh, yeah, I can do that. But what am I looking for exactly?” The raven ruffles his feathers, hopping towards the end of the arm rest.

“Anything out of the ordinary.”

“Because that narrows it right down,” Matthew mutters before beating his wings, on his way to follow orders. Morpheus watches him go before turning back towards his thrown, beginning to climb the stone stairs without another word.

Lucienne watches him go for a moment before she speaks again. “My Lord, if I may.” Dream pauses, turning to face the librarian again. “Perhaps it would be better to speak to her directly, in one of her dreams.” A flicker of doubt dances across the brow of the King of Dreams. “Rather than dancing around the matter, perhaps speaking to her directly is the best course of action. After all, she can already see you.”

“Thank you, Lucienne.” It’s final, dismissive, but not unkind. The Librarian sighs with a smile and nods before turning on her heel and taking her exit, leaving Dream alone with his many, many thoughts.

~~~

She’s back again, laying in the gently waving fields of Fiddler’s Green as other dreams flit around her. Her voice dances on the breeze, pleasant in the King of Dream’s ears as he stands on the fringe of the dream, watching. Matthew’s vigil revealed nothing save for a happy woman, content in her life and her relationships, leaving Dream all the more curious of her. In all his centuries, he’d yet to meet someone so utterly… content. Even Hob was occasionally plagued by nightmares and turmoil, though his love of life never diminished. But this woman… she is something else entirely. Something that even with the whole of human unconsciousness within him, he has yet to see.

“Are you just going to linger like a wraith or are you going to join us?” Dream blinks, jolting from his swirling thoughts to see her standing in front of him. Her eyes are bright and her smile warm as she looks up at him and every single thought that bubbles inside of his being freezes. “You don’t have to be a stranger.”

“How is it you can see me?”

Her head tilts in confusion, as if he had just asked her how it is she can breathe. “Should I not be able to?” She sizes him up and down. “Your choice of wardrobe sticks out a bit against the green. If you’re going for camouflage, you’re pretty bad at it.”

“She’s got you there, boss.” Morpheus blinks, looking up at his infuriating raven perched on a branch overheard.

“Enough of this.” With a wave of his hand, the woman before him dissolves, her laughter the only thing lingering on the breeze as he sends her back once more to the Waking World.

“That’s not how you make friends, boss.”

“I have no intention of making friends, Matthew.” He turns, his cloak billowing behind him as he makes his way from the Green. The bird takes flight, coming to land on Morpheus’ shoulder. “My only intention is to know how a member of humanity has managed to escape the grasp of my nightmares.”

“Hard to do that if you keep waking her up before you even ask her anything.” The scathing side-eye Dream of the Endless casts towards his raven would chill the most hardened of men to the bone, and the raven adjusts himself nervously on his perch.

“Continue your watch over her. Bring back anything of interest.”

The raven sighs, dropping his head for just a moment before spreading his wings and taking flight on his way back to the Waking Wold, muttering to himself about his clueless boss.

~~

It’s been weeks since Matthew began his vigil, and Morpheus has not once set foot into the dreams of the young woman. The first day the little bird returned from his watch, he had been in a frenzy. The woman had recognized him and greeted him with a smile as she walked to the grocery store. Truly a feat given that humans have trouble telling crows and ravens apart, not to even begin considering a dream in the shape of a raven. She fed him and talked to him the whole time, not even remotely concerned by the people watching her as if she was crazy.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as nice as her.”

Morpheus hums, turning the page of the book resting on his lap. “Anything strange in her conversation that stands out as odd?”

“Can’t you see her too? You know, the whole ‘whatever you see, I see’ shtick you always tell me when you send me on these recon missions?” Morpheus freezes mid page-turn, but doesn’t look up. Yes. Yes, he had seen it all through the raven’s eyes, and the whole day had a strange, heavy stone sitting squarely in his gut. The raven sighs and shakes his head. “No, nothing out of the ordinary for a young woman, boss. Just a happy, nice lady.”

“I see. Thank you Matthew.”

The raven hums, somewhat disgruntled before taking off to go find Lucienne for a better conversational partner.

“Who are you…?” Dream whispers, closing the book on his lap before look up towards the arching ceilings of the throne room, peering off into the swirling expanse of dreams above him.

The days continue on and each day Morpheus does his best to ignore the link between himself and Matthew as the raven dutifully continues his watch. She’s befriended the little bird, opening her bedroom window for him the moment she wakes up. Her voice is lovely in the back of his mind as she chatters away with his companion. Oh the stories she has to tell, always something new. And then the day comes to a close and Matthew returns to recount his favorite parts of the day to the King of Dreams. With every story the raven tells, that stone settles more and more solidly in Morpheus’ gut, and he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t understand how a mortal has such a hold on him to where the Master of All Dreams himself dreams of being in his raven’s place.

“And where will you be going, My Lord?” Lucienne catches him as he is making his way out the entryway of the throne room. “Finally off to see our little mystery dreamer again?”

“She has been visiting the Dreaming every night. And every night, it is Fiddler’s Green she finds. No human should be able to choose where it is in my realm they appear.”

“Will you speak with her this time, my Lord?” Lucienne folds her hand behind her back, lifting her chin. Matthew had been keeping her in the loop on everything to do with this nightmareless dreamer. And the reactions of the Dream Lord to the stories the newest companion to the Endless would bring back with him. She knew it was only a matter of time before Morpheous’ curiosity won out and he approached the mortal, but he had lasted longer than she had originally anticipated.

“Do you doubt my methods, Lucienne?” There’s an almost playful edge to his tone and Lucienne laughs out one breathy laugh.

“Not at all, sir. Though sometimes I do question your madness.” She nods to her friend before turning to return to the library. “Try not to scare the poor thing.”

Morpheus scoffs as he watches his librarian retreat before leaving the palace, making his way back to the Green. Sure as the day is long, her voice floats on the breeze once more from her leisurely lounging against a giant willow. Gault sits beside her, wings fluttering every so often as she listens to the song. But then her song stops, and those bright eyes open and land directly on him, as if she could sense his presence the moment he arrived. His stomach draws tight at that thought. She speaks to Gault, who looks over to her Lord then nods, standing and helping the dreamer to her feet before nodding in his direction and taking to the sky. He watches her until he can no longer see her in the soft, glowing clouds above the Green.

“It’s been a bit since I’ve seen you here.” Morpheus startles, blue eyes snapping back to the woman in front of him. “Are you going to will me away again?”

“How did you...?”

“Matthew told me.” Of course he did, that blabbermouth bird. “He comes to see me when I’m dreaming here, sometimes.”

“Do you even know where ‘here’ is, human?” He can’t help it, the air around him. This is his home, his domain. It’s a part of him, in all its vastness. And he knows it is heavy and that his presence is more like that of a Nightmare to some than it is a Dream. But the girl in front of him does not flinch or yield under it.

“In the abstract, I guess, but nothing more than that. I know I’m asleep, and that I’m dreaming. Gault has told me that this is where Dreams and Nightmares live.” She folds her arms behind her back. “Care to enlighten me?”

Morpheus tilts his head, hands buried in the pockets of his coat. “You are in the Dreaming. My realm. The place where all living creatures come when they sleep. For I am Lord Morpheus, Dream of the Endless. I hold within me all of human unconsciousness. Every dream, every nightmare. They all come from me.”

“So you made...are...all of this?” She drops her arms and spins around before smiling back up at him. “You are quite beautiful, you know that?”

All of the collective human unconsciousness within him could not have prepared him for such a reaction. To stand before an Endless as a mortal and not so much as flinch. “Beautiful?”

“Mhm. Beautiful. Greens and golds and blues.” Her eyes linger on his face for a moment, on his eyes as her smile widens. “Dreams are beautiful.”

“And what of nightmares?” he questions, stepping closer, crowding on her space. “Are they as beautiful as you think dreams to be?”

She cranes her neck to look up at him. “Why wouldn’t the be?” Morpheus turns his head, side-eyeing the...anomaly before him. “What makes them less beautiful than a dream?” The edges around the young woman begin to blur and she tilts her head with a smile. “It’s time to get up. I hope to see you again, Lord Morpheus of the Endless.”

Her voice whispers past him on the breeze as she returns to the waking world, leaving the Endless burdened with much to think about, standing at the edge of Fiddler’s Green. Strange does not begin to describe the young woman who seems to so freely enter his domain. He needs to know her more, needs to see what makes her tick. Tonight, he would see her in her own dreams, rather than here among the resting ones.

~~

She’s simple, he concludes. A strange thing for an enigma to be, but she is all the same. Her dreams are not exactly adventurous, rather reflecting her daily life. She helps the people that he knows are her neighbors, she plays with the kids in the park, she walks dogs and feeds the birds. That in and of itself is rather odd. Most people have at least some sort of whimsy to their dreams, but she seems to just… continue living her life when she closes her eyes.

He did well hiding form her, at first. He’d meld with the shadows just out of eyesight when she would turn to look for him. He could tell that she knew she was being watched, but whether or not she knew it was him, he did not know. But to allow her to find out would ruin what he insists on referring to as research. Eventually, though, she caught on to him. She wouldn’t turn to look at him, but would instead hum that same tune she would sing in Fiddler’s Green every time he found her in his realm, just so he knew that she knew he was there.

And then one night while she rested, a nightmare came to visit. Quite a garish one, too, meant to uncover deep seated fears. Morpheus watched from the shadows, keen to see with his own eyes how this woman had eluded his creations for so long. Then, she does something he’s never seen in all his years harboring this collective unconsciousness of the dreamers. She turns and faces the nightmare and she smiles. She smiles and holds out her hand which holds the reddest of apples.

“It’s alright,” she says softly. “You can rest here with me. You have a hard job, scaring people. It must be difficult for you sometimes.” The nightmare halts, confused for a moment before slowly reaching out and taking the apple from her hand. “Your job is an important one, isn’t it? Show people their fears?” And that’s when it clicks in the mind of the King of Nightmares. She is a lucid dreamer. And a very experienced one, at that.

“It is, and it’s a job you’ve been preventing them from doing for years, girl.” Morpheus drifts from the shadows where he watched this little exchange and the nightmare freezes, eyes wide as it looks at its master. “Leave us.”

“It was good to meet you, nightmare,” she smiles, waving as the nightmare dissolves before her eyes, returning to the place it calls home and leaving the King of Dreams with one of the most confounding mortals he has ever met. “Finally decided to talk to me, hm? Instead of creeping around in the edges of my subconsious?”

“How long did you know?” he asks, his voice low and curious. She looks up at him with a smile before bringing another apple to her own lips, taking a bite.

“Since the first time you visited. You make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when you stare at me. I always know you’re there.” She shrugs, turning to walk towards a bench by the park in her dreamworld. “I can tell when I’m in that meadow back in your world, too. You have a very Great and Powerful Oz vibe, about you.”

Morpheus says nothing, hands buried in the pockets of his coat that flutters behind him as he follows the young woman. “How long have you been a lucid dreamer?”

She shrugs, turning around to walk backwards, facing the King of Dreams. “Don’t really know when it started, exactly. It’s been so long that I can’t really remember a time where I couldn’t do this” She smiles, taking a seat as the backs of her legs hit the stone bench. Morpheus watches her as she pats the stone beside her before taking a seat, hands still buried in his pockets as his long legs spread out in front of him.

“And what of your nightmares. I’ve seen many a lucid dreamer, but never one who could turn a nightmare away from herself.” He’s not looking at her, even as she turns to face him more on the bench. He can’t bring himself to.

“Hmm. They’re just another type of dream, aren’t they? If the dreams can be kind, why can’t the nightmares?” She chuckles as he casts a sideways glance her way. “I get that look a lot from people when I’m awake. A lot of people don’t really understand how I think, I guess. Nightmares are meant to scare you, I guess. But I have no reason to be scared. So, why entertain fear when I have no need of it?”

“Everyone needs fear. Fear pushes you to grow, to face what is challenging you. It forces you to face your shortcomings.” He’s not argumentative, it’s just a simple fact. Humans are flawed by design, and the growth this results in is just another, natural part of being human.

She’s quiet for a moment, just long enough for Morpheus to begin to wonder if he’s upset her. He spares her a glance to see her looking off into the distance, apple resting against her lips. “I think… I think there are better ways to grow. Discomfort when you’re awake doesn’t need to bleed into when you’re asleep.” She stands then, with a smile, turning to look back down at him. “If I can choose to be happy and kind and carefree in my dreams, then I will. I don’t need to entertain anything that scares me, here. I can do that somewhere else.”

“But you-”

“This was nice,” she cuts him off, taking a step back. “I’m going to wake up now. I promised my neighbor I’d bake her a nice loaf of bread today, and I need to start on it early to let it rise. But I’m sure I’ll see you again, Morpheus.”

“You may also call me Dream.” Why he felt the need to add that, he’s unsure, but her reaction more than accounts for it.

The smile that dances across her face is stunning, and for a moment it sets him aback. “Fitting. Well, until the next, Dream.” As her form dissolves in front of him, she tosses something to him. An apple, crisp and bright red sits in his palm as the world of the young woman’s dream slowly dissolves around him. An odd one indeed.

Morpheus returns to his work, attempting to spare little thought to the lucid dreamer who seems to be able to come and go from his realm as she pleases. He knows that part of it is that every dream she has encountered has welcomed her here with open arms, reaching for her when she succumbs to sleep. They’ve left the door open, and he cannot blame her from coming through. The corners of his lips tug down in a pensive frown as he works, interweaving fibers of thoughts and hopes, breathing life into a new creation.

“My Lord.” He blinks, breaking from his trance as he realizes that the dream on which he is working bears a striking familiarity to a young woman he has recently met. Turning on his heel with his cloak billowing behind him, he finds his librarian standing there with Matthew perched on their shoulder.

“Is something the matter, Lucienne.”

“Not… explicitly so, my Lord.”

He cocks his head oh so slightly, taking a step towards her. “What, then, to interrupt my work?”

“She’s back. That lucid dreamer.”

“Yes, I can sense her. She’s with Fiddler’s Green. This isn’t the first time, so why have you come to me now, Lucienne?”

Matthew adjusts on her shoulder and she glances at the bird before looking back to her Lord. “She’s asking for you. Specifically, sir.”

Now that was odd. All the times you’ve entered his realm since meeting him in your dream weeks ago, you’ve not once asked for him. A warmth fills him at the thought of you wishing to see him, bubbling up inside for him to quickly push back down. “Thank you, Lucciene. I’ll see to her.”

“My lord, if I may.” The librarian hesitates as she takes a step forward.

“Go on.”

“I am uncertain if allowing a human free reign of the Dreaming is the wisest of choices.”

“And why do you think this?”

“The last time, that human was a vortex with uncontrollable power. She shattered the Dreaming, bridging the walls between us and the Waking World. What should happen should this human learn to do the same?”

“She will not. This human is no vortex, of this I am sure. She is a lucid dreamer, that is all.” Morpheus strides past, the orange glow flickering at the base of his cloak. “I appreciate your concern, Lucienne. I should like you to keep an eye on her, particularly in the Waking World when she is out of my sight. You and Matthew, both.”

“Do you want me making daily trips again, boss?”

“That is not necessary, Matthew. Only as you see fit. I leave this discretion to you.” With that, the King of Dreams makes his way from his workstation to visit the mortal who harkins him. A lucid dreamer… that is all….

She’s under her usual tree when he appears before her, the tails of his coat billowing at his feet before coming to rest in the stillness of the meadow. It has been a long time since he had seen something as brilliant as her smile. How long had it been since someone had smiled at him like that?

“Dreamer,” he greets, terse as always. “I should caution you to not forget who it is you speak to. I am not at your every beck and call.”

She shrugs, twirling a daisy between her fingers as she continues to grin up at him. “I simply asked Matthew if you were around because I wanted to see you. It wasn’t a demand.”

She wanted to see him? He blinks, face yet unreadable hiding his reaction. “What do you need?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to see you, is all. Sit with me for a bit?” She scoots just a bit, giving the Dream Lord space to sit beside her, back against the tree. “I don’t bite,” she adds lightly when he hesitates a few moments too long. He huffs, seemingly unamused before taking a seat besides her, knees folded up  so as to rest his elbows on his knees. With that same, beautiful smile, she hands over the daisy to him, the white of the petals a near match for his alabaster skin. He stares at the flower for a moment before looking up at her, a silent question hanging on the air. “You give flowers to the people you like. Everyone deserves flowers, and something tells me you don’t get them very often.”

“I am not ‘people’, Dreamer.”

“I have a name, you know.”

“Yes.”

Her brow furrows for a moment before she shrugs, flower still extended towards him. “Whatever works for you. Take this, though.” That smile is firmly back in place, and Morpheus feels that warmth again, permeating through his whole being as he reaches out for the flower. His fingers brush lightly against hers, and it feels for a moment as though lightning courses through him, knocking the breath from his lungs. He fights the urge to recoil as he takes the flower from her, a comfortable silence falling over the two of them yet again. That is, until his curiosity gets the best of him.

“Why did you wish to see me again?” He glances to the woman beside him to finder her face turned to the light of the sky, eyes closed as she enjoys the warmth. Still, the soft kiss of her smile dances across her lips.

“Because I like you.”

“You know nothing of me.”

“I know more than you think.” She lolls her head to the side, smiling at him. “I know you’re creative. How else could you have made all of this? I know you care about people like me. Why else would you be concerned that nightmares don’t visit me? Lucienne told me once a while ago that you contain all of human unconsciousness. I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of empathy that means you have. How much you have to work to keep that separate from yourself so you don’t drown in it.” She looks back over the meadow. “You’re kind. Without kindness, you couldn’t have made the gentle dreams that I’ve had. And I think you might be a little lonely, too.”

“Do not forget yourself, human.”

“Oh trust me, I haven’t. I’m intimately aware of my humanity. But I think you might have forgotten how much of us you have with you, given you have all of our unconsciousness.”

Morpheus huffs, indignant as he rolls his eyes and looks away. The daisy rests between his fingers still. “You are nothing if not bold.”

“That’s not the first time I’ve been told that, you know.” She chuckles, the sound one of the more beautiful ones Morpheus has heard.  “It serves me well, usually.”

“I imagine it gets you in to equal amounts of trouble as well.”

She shrugs again, a favored action of hers, evidently. “Nothing I can’t get out of, and nothing that hurts anybody.”

“You are a strange human.”

“Redundant. All humans are strange.” She grins, standing from her spot to move to a spongy patch of moss. She spreads her arms, tipping back to fall onto the moss that seems to cradle her as her back connects with the ground, a joyful giggle bubbling from her lips. She closes her eyes to enjoy the sunlight on her skin until a looming shadow dims the light. She opens one eye, grinning up at the Dream King looming over her like a sliver of the very night itself. “Are you going to join me, or just stand there like a stick in the mud?”

“Does your audacity know no bounds?”

“Some probably think so. Some probably wish I didn’t have ability to speak at all. And that’s okay. C’mon. Lay with me for a bit. It’s so nice here.”

“I have work to do.”

“So do I, but here I am, taking a nap and dreaming of this amazing place. Everyone needs a break. What’s a few minutes?”

Could he argue that? Lucienne had a pretty good handle on things, maintaining the status quo while he worked. The new dreams and nightmares weren’t going anywhere, and there really was no rush on their production. He had no out. Did he want an out?

“Dream? You there still?”

He blinks, broken from his thoughts to see her sitting up, lips down turned in concern. “I’m fine,” he says quietly, sinking to the ground beside her, slowly lying down with his hands at his sides, staring into the open sky. She watches him for a moment before evidently deciding against voicing whatever thought was in her head before laying down herself, her hands folded on her stomach.

“This is nice, isn’t it? Just to be in the quiet for a bit?”

“I’d hardly call your talking quiet, girl.”

“No need to be rude about it,” she chuckles, tapping his leg with the tip of her foot before falling into another silence.

“I am curious,” Morpheus is the first to break the silence. She turns her head to look at him, eyebrows raised in question as he continues to look towards the sky. “I know you helped another nightmare, recently, who had come to your dreams. They told me of your smile when you took their hand to walk with them.” He turns to look at her, stoic face yet unreadable. “How is it that you find such joy in helping others when assuredly you do not receive the same from them?”

“Oh that’s easy.” She rolls onto her side, facing him full on with her head resting on her hand and the vulnerability of the position does not escape the King of Dream’s notice. “I don’t expect anything in return. I’m not looking for kindness back. I’m just looking to help someone as best I can. Some people have bad days, and that’s okay. There isn’t criteria to receive my help, nothing that makes someone undeserving.” She smiles softly, reaching to run her fingers across the moss between then, and Morpheus very nearly jumps when the tips of her fingers brush against the side of his hand, though she seems not to notice. “I help because I want to, not because I want things from the people I’m helping.”

“Do you truly?”

She blinks, looking up at him and he can hear the little hitch in her breathing as they lock eyes. “Do I what?”

“Do you truly expect nothing from those you help? What if my nightmares chose not to quell themselves at the offer of your hand?”

“What about it? I wouldn’t get mad at a snake for biting or a bee for stinging. It’s their nature. Who am I to judge them for that?”

How long had it been? How long had it been since he had met someone so purely and entirely...human?  The next closest was probably Hob Gadling, though even he did not have quite the same heart as this woman. His humanity manifested in more a lust for life than a drive to aid others. But this one… this one is in a league entirely her own. And it’s...refreshing.

“Thank you.” Dream blinks, refocusing on her face as she smiles at him, filling him with that warmth once again. “For lying with me. This was very nice.”

“Do not grow accustomed to it.” He retorts, but the edge of unkindness is no longer there. Instead, it had been replaced with something, softer. Something almost haughtily playful.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she giggles before sitting up, smiling as Dream sits up beside her. “I need to wake up now. I promised the produce stall at the end of my street I’d help out today since his son is sick.”

“Very well. Until we meet again, Dreamer.” This time, she smiles at the title before slowly dissipating as consciousness claims her once again.

Several days pass, and the little dreamer does not again enter the Dreaming. Morpheus finds himself actually missing her presence, constantly chatting away. She is sleeping and dreaming, he can still feel as much, but she does not choose to visit, rather electing to stay in her own worlds that morph and bend to her desires. And for the first time in a long time, a pang of something bitter and sour gnaws at his stomach.

Jealousy.

Jealousy for the creations he has crafted to do exactly as they are; visit her dreams.

So he begins once more to linger, lurking at the edge of her dreams to watch them play out like some private play. He knows she’s aware of his presence, occasionally catching the subtle sideways glance or the lingering smile on her lips as she passes him by or turns in his direction. And he realizes, as he lingers among her dreams day after day, that she is beautiful. Physically, yes, she is attractive, but so much more than that as well. Her kindness, her pure human joy is astounding. A breath of fresh air in the typically dismal human society entrenched in greed and self idolization. And it makes her the most breath taking creature he has seen since Calliope graced him with her smile.

The day his realization strikes is a day seemingly like any other. The Dream Lord works, interweaving threads of pure starlight to forge the core of his newest creation when his attention is pulled away. She’s here, in the Dreaming, for the first time in near a month. But not this time in Fiddler’s Green as she normally waits.

“Bold of you to let yourself into my place of work like this, Dreamer.”

“Just returning the favor for the month of lingering without even saying hi, Dream Lord.” There is a smile in her voice, he can hear it, and his breath hitches at the sound before he turns to face her.

“I make it a point to not interfere with the dreamers.”

“Oh yeah?” She grins, sashaying up to him with her hands clasped behind her back. “I think you just wanted to see me. I think you missed me when I didn’t come to visit for a few days.”

Morpheus is calculated in everything he says. Every word as solid as carved into stone. Never does he rush to respond, every phrase uttered burdened with a pregnant pause. But this time… this time he does not hesitate.

“Yes,” he rasps, taking a step closer to her, gazing down at her with such an intensity in his eyes. “Yes, I have missed you.” Missing her doesn’t begin to cover the gnawing ache her absence left in the pit of his stomach, nor the sourness of the bile the bubbled in the back of his throat when he saw her with those of his own creation. Such a simple phrase could never possible encompass what it means to him for her to be absent from him.

Her eyes widen slightly at that, the response unexpected from him. She had thought that perhaps he thought her a nuisance. Someone thrilled at her absence as so many people seemed to be. After all, he never seemed thrilled to see her. Burdened or annoyed probably better fits his reaction to finding her lounging in the Green. “Did I actually make it to the inner most parts of the Dreaming or did I manage to concoct it in my dreams?”

“You are here with me, I assure you.” His voice is low and deep, and it sends a visible shiver through her. Morpheus has to resist the urge to smirk.

“So I didn’t imagine that you just said you missed me, then?”

Morpheus raises his hand, brushing a strand of hair from her face before dropping it back to his pocket of his cloak. The gesture raises goosebumps across her arms, and her breath catches oh so slight. “I have missed you, little Dreamer, and our conversations.”

“An entire eternity’s wealth of dreams and stories are in Lucienne’s library to keep you entertained, and you still miss our conversations?”

“Is it truly so hard to believe?”

He’s so close to her, she can feel the heat of his body radiating like the fire from a supernova. It would be nothing at all to reach out and touch him… to take his hand and feel the softness of that alabaster skin against her own…. “Years of being told to be quiet leave their mark, no matter how much you work to ignore them.”

“Your voice, my little Dreamer, is one I shall never tire of hearing.” Her heart hammers behind the confines of her ribs, excitement coursing through her. “I doubt their will ever be a time I tell you to quiet yourself in my presence.”

“Your mouth shouldn’t write checks you can’t cash, you know.” She grins, playful and lively and Morpheus feels the corner of his own lips twitch up at the sight, seemingly of their own accord. “I’m a wealth of conversation.”

“Trust me, I am well aware of this fact.”

“I feel like I should be offended at that,” she chuckles, rocking back on her heels. “So, care to show me how the master does his work?”

“Some other time, perhaps,” he answers, the half finished dream seemingly dissolving into nothingness behind him, and that smile on her lips falters just a touch. “I would much rather show you something else, first.”

It is then that he extends to her, his hand, and with adrenaline coursing through her veins, she reaches to take it in her own. The touch of skin is just that; a warm, comforting grasp. No jolt of electricity as so many call it, but rather a feeling of comfort and belonging as if she had be nestled in a thousand warm blankets to be lulled to sleep. The thought then surfaces to her conscious that perhaps this is what it feels like to come home.

Time passes on, as it does for all things, and every night she comes to visit him in his realm. Every night she lives another life at the side of her Dream Lord. And she’s happy there, as is he. But the thing about humans… the tragic, beautiful thing about humans… is their brevity. Lives as a match, both bright and full of life then out all too soon.

Dream can see it, the passing days, etched into the canyons of the lines on her face that every day seem to deepen. The marks of thousands of smiles and thousands more laughs adorn the corners of her eyes and lips. Time takes with it in its passage the color from her hair, replacing it with spun silver. She is aging, as all humans do, and yet still refuses to lose that lust for life and her overwhelming kindness. Grief seems beyond her. And this is just as well, as it seems the Lord of Nightmares grieves well enough for the both of them.

“Brother.”

The Dream Lord prickles as a cat disturbed before turning slowly to face his elder sister. Her face is soft and kind, as it always is, but today he finds no comfort in it. “Sister.”

Her eyes drift from his face to the elderly woman climbing into bed. Her bones creak with the years past, the breath whispering through her lips as a winter breeze through dying leaves as she settles among her sheets. Old eyes see far less now than they once did, but when they fall on the sister of the love of her life, she smiles. A shaking, frail, liver spotted hand reaches out in a silent plea. Death moves past her brother who remains still at the foot of his lover’s bed, praying that if does not move, does not disturb this moment, that perhaps his father would grant him a moment of stolen time, removed from the passings of the universe around them.

She had refused Death’s offer, when the elder Endless learned of her brother’s new love. She had no desire to live past her destined time, like Hob Gadling. No, she was content with the extent of her mortality, reveling in every fleeting day. Know it has an end, she would say to him, makes every day that much more meaningful.

“Hello, my dear sister,” Death whispers, taking the aching and elderly hand in her own. The touch alleviates the years that scream through her nerves as respite washes over her.

“Death. Beautiful, sweet Death. How are you?”

“I am well, sister. And I am here with you now.”

“It’s time, isn’t it?” The words hold no malace nor grief. It’s as simple a question as if a child asked the time. And it shatter’s Dream’s heart enough to spur him to move. He takes his place at her side, opposite his sister and takes her other frail hand in his. Hands he knows so well now, he wonders how there was ever a time he didn’t know them.

“Afraid so, my lovely.”

His Dreamer is quiet for a moment, lips curled in a soft smile. “Can I sleep, first, sister?”

Death’s eyebrows arch in slight surprised before her lips curl in a knowing smile. She flashes a look to her brother before nodding. “You can sleep, dear sister. And when you wake, you will be home.”

“With him?” A strength Dream had not felt from his lover in some years courses through her, her hand tightening around his and it occurs to him… that she is not without fear. So many years without a single nightmare, he had almost forgotten that she was no different than any other mortal. But for his Dreamer, the fear she feels is simply outweighed by her understanding of life. He returns her grasp, pulling her hand up to grace it with a feather light kiss across her knuckles.

“With him,” Death confirms, and his Dreamer relaxes back into the bed, an invisible weight taken from her chest.

“Then everything is fine.” She smiles up at him and his heart races in his chest, his body consumed with with a lightness unlike anything he’s ever felt. “I told you, didn’t I?”

“You did,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss her forehead with such reverence. “You did, my love. Now, you should sleep. And you shall awaken with me for the first time in your new home.”

“Morpheus,” she rasps, voice hanging on by but a thread. “I love you.”

“And I you, my little Dreamer. Now, rest.” He brushes his nose against hers one final time, her eyes slipping closed. It is only moments later that the rising and falling of her chest stills for the last time. It pains him to see her this way, regardless of knowing where she now waits for him, and when he speaks next, his eyes do not leave his Dreamers face. “I lament not being able to spend more time with you, sister.”

“We have all the time in the universe, Dream. Go be with her.” Death stands from the bed, a radiant smile on her face as she rests a hand on her brother’s shoulder. After so long removed from love after Calliope, he had finally found someone. After so long, he was finally happy. “I quite like my new sister. It would be a shame for you to chase her off so soon because you weren’t there to tell greet her in her new home.”

“Until next time, sister.”

“Until next time, Dream.”

With the sound of beating wings, Death makes her exit. Dream looks down at the body that once held the essence of his lover and grieves for but a moment more before he stands and makes his own exit, homeward to meet her in her new life. And end to inspire a brand new beginning.

~

She wakes with a gasp, sitting bolt upright. It takes a moment, disorientation and confusion clouding her mind. There is no ache in her joints, no fuzziness to her vision or muffle to her hearing. And it’s… bright out. Blue skies dotted with soft, cotton-like clouds. A warm, familiar breeze tickles her skin. But for all the familiarity, it feels… different. It feels more… real. More corporeal. It feels a part of her.

“I thought I might find you here, my little Dreamer.” She looks up to find her lover the same as ever, standing over her as dark as if cut from the night sky itself. “Fitting I should find you where I found you first.”

“Morpheus,” she whispers, and her voice does not carry with it the frailty of old age, as if dust and cobwebs adorned it. No, it is clear and shining as it was the day she met her Dream Lord.

“Welcome home, lover.” He extends his hand to her, helping her to her feet before pulling her into his arms. She melts against him, eyes closing as for the first time she is able to take him in as he truly is. He a part of her, and she a part of him. Complete.

“Home,” she whispers against his chest. And no word she has spoken before in her mortal life has ever felt so right. “I’m home.”

And she was. And they were. Forever, and for always.

Home.

[dreams-dreams-dream]

A shuddering gasp leaves your lips, and another, another, each divided by a hitched, hushed breath in. Your body shakes softly in arms holding you like satin cushions and steel bars. Telling you you were safe. Protected. /His/.

The ragged breaths falling from your lips don't stop until your bodies meet fully, a low moan leaving your mouth as your eyes flit open to gaze down your torso to the cleft of his abdomen. Where you were joined, together as though one.

Your gaze flicks up, meeting those beautiful, beautiful eyes that bear an intensity akin to pure sunlight. Mesmerising. Scorching. A deep blush colours your cheeks, one hand lifting to his pale face now flushed rosy pink with the effort of holding back. "Morpheus," you whisper, reverently.

"Beloved," he replies, and /moves/.

Your head falls back, your mouth open in a silent cry that's soon buried in the Lord of Dreams's throat as he kisses you. Warm like sun stained marble, soft as feather down. You clutch him close, legs bending around him, arms folding around his neck, his shoulders, "More-!" You beg.

And Dream of the Endless obliges.

[dreamscrawl]

A little sneak peek from my first The Sandman fic. (The title is A Waking Conversation with Dream.) I love the idea of [Y/N] bringing up Morpheus' ex-girlfriends at every opportunity. It's fun to tease someone like him, don't you think? The reaction every time is priceless. [Y/N] had recently met Morpheus here. She's still getting to know The Endless. (×)

[unsolvedghoulboyz]

alright alright...now...I dont mean to be absolutely down bad..I am sorry...but if anyone has made or knows of a morpheus and corinthian fic team tagging the reader 😋 please drop it in the comments bc I NEED it (preferably female reader but gn works too)

[inkymagpie]

The Star in the Field Pt.1

Morpheus X Fallen Star!Reader

Chapter Rating: General

Overall Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Slight Angst, minimal descriptions of y/n, reader uses they/them/she/her pronouns.

Chapter Synopsis: He had seen them, only for a moment, standing lonely in the barren fields of his still rebuilding kingdom. The flora that had just started to regrow, sprouting up through the dust of his ruin curving to meet the soft glow of their skin. And when they spotted him, observing from afar they seemed surprised. He had met all the Stars that visited his realm at one time or another, seeing as how some had been around since not longer after the creation of this universe. Their stare of unfamiliarity was returned, for he had never met, nor sensed them once in all his years.

Note: This will have some comic spoilers and it is mixed with some of Stardust lore as well, and will have some tweaks of my own to both Sandman lore and Stardust lore. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

It was a presence he had felt before, recognizable but not in the sense it held personal familiarity nor common place. No… this was an ancient omnipresence. 

This was not of his creation, nor was it of this world, neither was it a deity worshiped by the mortals he served in sleep. This was a long forgotten nostalgia one that he had chaperoned over a millennia ago, before most of their dreaming became something viewed as tiresome and stale. But this was not the same heavenly dreamers that had once stepped through his realm and now seldom did. This was sharp, keen and born a new… a new being in his realm, a creature of the very heavens. A Star.

He had seen them, only for a moment, standing lonely in the barren fields of his still rebuilding kingdom. The flora that had just started to regrow, sprouting up through the dust of his ruin, curving to meet the soft glow of their skin. And when they spotted him observing from afar they seemed surprised. He had met all the Stars that visited his realm at one time or another, seeing as how some had been around since not longer after the creation of this universe. Their stare of unfamiliarity was returned, for he had never met, nor sensed them once in all his years. 

They were gone before he had time to consider anything more than their surprised gaze. 

He stood for a while, contemplating what this could mean before stalking off to the library, a whirlwind of questions that perhaps Lucienne would be able to help him figure out. 

He wondered if they had always been here, on the tailcoats of the dream threads, maybe he had simply overlooked them? But a Star gracing his realm after so many had grown tired of dreaming for an aeon was something he would have taken notice of. Lucienne would have certainly written their presence down had they visited his kingdom and she certainly would have a book on the catalogs of their lives inside and outside of the Dreaming. 

~

The Librarian had briefly questioned if he was perhaps mistaken, as she had seen no Star dream records, at least none updated since the late 1800s. And of all the dreamers to re-enter the dreaming after his absence, none were beings of heavenly light. 

“They stood before me; shining like all Stars do.” He pulls another book down from the overburdened shelf; behind him Lucienne sighs and cocks her head.

“Sir if I might; the last Star to enter the dreaming was over one hundred years ago. Are you sure you saw a Star?” She reiterates cautiously.

“I know the last Star that entered this realm Lucienne, she has ascended back to the heavens with her husband some time ago or so it would seem.” He replies, placing the book back and pulling another from a lower shelf. “I do not know this one. I have never sensed their presence, inside of the Dreaming or out.”

“Maybe you just didn’t recognize them? You have been gone awhile.” Matthew quips, ruffling his feathers as he suppressed a caw.

“No, and they did not know me, they seemed surprised… perhaps even startled by my observation?” 

“Well you’re not exactly the warmest welcoming committee.” Matthew hops to a stack of books a bit further away after a pointed look from Lucienne. “Who knows, maybe you don’t know them? I’m sure new people come into the Dreaming all the time?” He adds. 

“Not Stars. I’m not even sure that is possible?” Lucienne comments, moving to take one of the books beneath the raven’s new perch. “ The Stars have been around for… well since nearly the beginning, at least the older, more ancient ones.” 

“Then maybe it’s a new one.” Matthew states simply. 

A quiet pause falls over the library for a moment; Matthew beginning to feel uncomfortable in the growing silence, lets out a caw that was meant to be a clearing of the throat.

“I mean would it really be that weird?” He adds, shuffling closer to Morpheus, who has yet to say a word in sometime, back still turned and hand poised over the worn pages of the book he held. “Would it boss?”

A new Star

~

You wake with a gasp, blinking rapidly in the darkness of your room; slowly your breathing mellows and your eyes adjust to the blanketing dark. A pale cast of light runs across the far wall, the sound of wheels splashing through a puddle on the street below; it must have rained while you slept.

Turning over on your side you gaze at the neon light of the alarm clock on your nightstand…4am…a heaviness settles in your heart. 

Carefully you rise up from your bed pulling back the sheets and testing the floor below you. You were already a guest here taking up space, (no matter how much it was insisted that you were an honored guest) you didn’t want to make too much noise prancing around in the wee hours of the morning while most slept. 

On the balls of your feet you creep to the bay window that faced the street, settling down on the pillows that bracketed the inlaid seat. You squint looking out at the street below. You never close the blinds, even though one of the street lamps sat glowing on the corner of the building every night, you couldn’t bring yourself to shut yourself off, not yet.

The light pollution here was heavy, but in these early hours you could make out some of the twinkling beings in the night sky… you wonder if perhaps any of them were ones you knew. 

Sighing you tuck your knees to your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs and resting your temple against your knees, continuing to watch, continuing to think. 

It wasn’t fair, you had decided (it was a decision you had made rather early on in your…unexpected adventure.) You had barely gotten any time to shine within the night sky before you had fallen; a mere seventy years in the heavens. Others had gotten millennia, some aeons; most of your brothers and sisters were still there, glimmering brightly amongst the cosmos. But no, you had been plucked from the sky before you even got to really experience what it really meant to be a Star. 

You grumble softly to yourself, playing with a lock of your hair, observing it as you settle in your self pity. You can still see the fine spun magic glittering writhing the strands; you know you should stop being bitter, Earth and humans weren’t all that bad, quite fascinating in fact.

For seventy years you had looked down upon humans, delighting in their habits and odd quirks, the way they lived so freely. They lived for so short a time and yet they lived with such abandon, you admired that about them, their need to experience, to explore. It really wasn’t so awful to now be amongst them and witness them daily, no longer an observer from afar. Most were kind, at least the ones that you had met. 

You smile softly to yourself; they made such wonderful things too from food to inventions; their minds seemingly never ceasing with imagination. If they could dream it up they could…

You pause in your hair twirling and thoughts…dreams… Even since your birth in the heavens, you had dreamless sleeps; Stars didn’t need to sleep but it was a novelty, a delightfully new thing at first. You had heard when you first came to creation that if you wished it you could enter the Dreaming, the realm of the Dream King, an Endless. However, no matter how many days you rested your head and wished to be swept away, the dreams never came… 

You had asked some of the older Stars, maybe you were doing it wrong? They had shook their heads and told you that no, the dreaming had gone silent, however it was something that grows a bit dull after a few thousand years anyway and to not be too concerned. 

From the stories they had told you didn’t feel that any of it could ever grow old, ever the curious mind and creative heart. So every night for over sixty years you tried to dream, but every time there was nothing... a void as black as the deepest, most barren parts of space. You had stopped trying after a time, coming to the conclusion that perhaps you were not meant to see the Dreaming; and after a while you had stopped sleeping all together, after all why sleep with a hope of something that obviously was no longer there. To you, sleep meant the possibility of dreaming and if that wasn’t there… 

When you had fallen you spent the first few months on Earth not sleeping, but you had come to the conclusion that if you were to live a more human life that you should at least follow some of their patterns. That and, well the nights got pretty dull when no one was around to speak with and the shops and cafes weren’t open.

At first it was certainly strange, sleeping at night when you had always slept during the day when you were a heavenly being. So you had started to follow the pattern of your gracious housemate when it came to sleep, or at least adhere somewhat to his patterns to get used to it. It had taken some time a few weeks but you finally got it down for the most part. And of course when you started sleeping again you had secretly hoped that maybe, just in maybe the Dreaming would open up to you. 

However the Dream Lord’s realm had remained elusive… that was until tonight. Tonight you had traveled, left this realm and gone somewhere you had only heard of…

It was strange, it had felt so real you had almost thought that you were awake, perhaps having somehow slept walked out into a barren farmer’s field. But as you had gazed upon the foreign landscape you could see, a looming castle seemingly ravaged by time in the distance. And as you gazed heavenward you saw a brilliance of night sky you had never seen before.

You were in the Dreaming.

You turned feeling the dust and sand beneath your feet and felt the cool air of the night upon your cheeks. Your eyes caught something, or rather… someone… a man stood, stone still gazing at you from across the field. You startled, for the place that you had found yourself in was completely empty save for him and yourself; his gaze nearly consuming you, the weight of it enough to jar you from from your first ever dream.

You frown, and start to twirl your hair again, thinking back to the man in the field. It was as if he held the cosmos in his eyes, deep and expansive, all knowing and never ceasing. But the thing that weighed heavily in your mind was the sadness that seemed to fill those endless eyes, and you once again felt the heaviness in your heart. 

Humans had said that eyes are the window to the soul, and you wonder…why his soul sang such melancholy... 

You hear the chirping of birds outside your window, your brows furrowing as you look back out to the horizon and find the golden tendrils of the sun beginning to creep along the rooftops. 

Oh

Perhaps your schedule still needed some work, you blink over to the alarm clock that now reads just before 6am. Down the hall you hear your housemate begin to shuffle about his morning routine and decide that you might as well get up; tomorrow night you decide that you would finally get the human schedule down. 

You dress slowly waiting to hear the water shut off in the bathroom and your housemate make his way down the stairs before going about your morning. You decide to take just a little longer in the shower just to enjoy the very human routine. Stars usually bathed in pools of moonlight; and while showering in a porcelain box might seem mundane it was once again a new habit and you greatly enjoy drawing little doodles in the mist that fogged up the glass. 

Finally stepping out of the warmth of the shower you finish up your morning freshen and redress.

As you make your way downstairs you can hear the usual puttering in the kitchen, the sound of the kettle going off and the scrape of a worn pan against the stove top. 

Rounding the corner you catch your gracious housemate pouring a steaming cup of coffee into a mug and then a second. He turns his head as you come in and smiles brightly.

“Ah good morning Y/N! Starting to sleep in a bit I see!” He picks up one of the steaming mugs and holds it out to you.

“Good morning Hob.” You smile back and take the cup from him. “I’m not sure about the sleeping in part.” You chuckle and take a cautious sip, quickly deciding as you have every morning, that yes it is still too hot.

Hob seems to understand and smiles softly as he takes a seat at the small kitchen table, you follow suit. 

“We’ll I’m sure that you’ll be sleeping in till noon in no time and then you learn the joys of lunch for breakfast.” He laughs and you can’t help but laugh as well. “How did you sleep? Is it getting easier?” He asks after a moment, gazing at you over his mug as he takes a sip. 

You stare down at the umber liquid in your cup. 

“I did, and it is…” you pause and he looks at you expectantly. “Hob…” he cocks his head and waits. “I believe…I had a dream last night.”

[i2sunric]

𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 (p.js)

pairing: doctor!jay x reader (f)

summary: you’ve always thought dating a doctor was hot until you started realising his job was taking your place— but don’t worry, being a doctor meant jay could always stitch your broken heart up!

warnings: fluff (like, 3am typa fluff), early 2000s au, childhood friends to lovers but they’re already lovers, angst (with comfort) cuddling and kissing, a little suggestive (no smut), they grow up together (narration starts from 18), mentions of stress and fainting, mentions of pregnancy, fighting, if more lmk. NOT PROOFREAD.

published: 29th April 2024

wc: 10.5k (longer than i intended ;-;)

tag list: @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted @wtfhyuck @kim2005bomi @luvpjs7 @sundoie @sunghours @anittamaxwynnn @tinie03

It was the last summer of a enior year at high school, the year that everyone would choose what path to undertake, the life they wanted to live, the job they wanted to get.

As scary as it sounded, you didn’t want to think about it yet, just to focus on living your last summer as a teenager before adulthood kicked in with all its difficulties and challenges.

You were laying on the bed at Jay’s holiday cottage at the lake, the temperature of the afternoon was too hot to let you stay outside, so you seeked some escape from the humidity in his bedroom. The grids were only slightly open to let some sun rays enter the room, just enough not to turn on the light.

You were reading a pook, wearing only a dump swimming suit and a pair of jeans shorts, you drenched the sheets but you knew it would be perfectly dry by the evening, so you didn’t really care.

Jay laid on the other side of the bed, your feet beside his head as he studied an anatomy book. You had a clue on how difficult it was to enter the medicine faculty, but seeing your boyfriend giving up his whole summer just to bury his nose in those headache-bringers books made you feel sympathy for all the doctors.

The book in your hand had become boring five minutes before so you just closed it, letting it rest on your chest. You nudged Jay’s arm with your foot “I’m bored.” You let out a small sigh

He looked up from his study material and gave you a soft smile before reaching out to pat your ankle. "I know you're bored, baby. But I'm only an hour away from finishing this.” Jay gave you a reassuring smile

“After I’m done we could go outside and sail the small boat?” A couple of minutes of silence passed and he was ready to you making a fuss about how boring and dull studying was until you said “Or maybe I can help you with your studies?”

"You sure that you wouldn't mind helping me with my studies?" He replied, raising his eyebrows. He let go of your ankle, but he quickly pulled you by your knees while you were curled up on his bed and laid you on top of his lap instead, so now you were using his body as a mattress.

“I’m not as smart as you,” You murmured, snuggling comfortably on his chest as he placed the book in front of both your faces. The amount of latin and difficult words made you close your eyes right away “I’ll just flip the pages when you need.”

Jay let out a low chuckle and pressed a featherlight kiss on your head. It was a small team game, he tried to involve you in his studies, making you ask him some questions to know if he had said it right.

You felt a warm sense of pride in your chest to know that your boyfriend was working so hard for the sake of his dream. You flipped to a page that had a big skeleton drawing on it, beside it there was a man with all the muscles without skin.

You scrunched your nose at the amount of names all the bones and muscled had “You memorised all those names?”

“Not as easily as others do," He confessed, letting out an audible sigh as he caressed your head. "I find it easier when I explain the answers to someone who's willing to listen."

You looked up to his face, your eyes shining with endless love “I’m always willing.”

Jay gave you a sheepish smile, hooking one arm under your knee to intertwine both your legs together. He squeezed your hip in response and you two resumed studying together.

After around fifteen minutes, you started to become bored again. All those letters made your eyes feel heavy, you blinked them a few times “Are you done yet?”

He chuckled softly as he shook his head from side to side. "I still have to memorise more chapters," He sighed, looking up at you with an apologetic grin.

Despite his efforts, it was clear that he was having troubles memorising the contents of the page, and even he knew he was going to be up for quite a while more.

You caressed his chest, feeling the heat radiating from his body even under the white sleeveless shirt he was wearing.

You toyed the necklace you had given him for his fifteenth birthday in your fingers, the same jewel he had sworn to never take off “What are you studying now?”

He raised his eyebrows and looked down at you, smiling as he watched you play with the necklace. "Right now I'm studying about different body systems and conditions, the respiratory system." he said, looking back down at you

You laid your ear on his chest and he fell silent, you tried to hear his breath and commented with a forced funny voice “Your lungs function well.”

“I guess they do.” Jay chuckled, rubbing your back as he continued to study.

The room fell silent once again but your head was full of thoughts.

You started thinking about your future, you pictured yourself in different situations or workplaces but none of them seemed good enough. Or maybe it was you not good enough.

"You know, it's admirable that you already know what you want to be in the future..." You murmured, snuggling closer to him.

The corners of his lips spread into a small smile as he heard your compliment. "Is it admirable for someone my age?" He asked softly, brushing your hair out of your face

“Uh uh,” You hummed, flipping another page for him “I don’t know what I want to be,” You confessed quietly “I don’t see myself anywhere.”

Jay raised his eyebrows as he stopped studying for a long moment to give you his whole attention.

He then looked down at you and lifted your chin to face him. "Are you really unsure about what you want to be in the future?" He asked, his eyes searching for yours.

Your eyes met his deep brown once, and you shook your head, feeling vulnerable. “No, I don’t.” You sighed softly “My mother… My mother wants me to go to some sort of job counsellor.”

Jay let go of your chin to caress your back again “That’s a great idea, actually.” He encouraged, smiling gently. “I mean, it’s better to ask for help now than choosing something you don’t want to do… ain’t it?”

You hummed, dropping your head on his chest “I guess so.” Your tone went quiet and he had been with you enough to know you didn’t want to discuss that topic anymore.

A few minutes passed by and your yawn caught Jay’s attention. He caressed your head, letting his hand run through your hair “You should get some sleep, Y/N.”

“And who’s gonna flip your pages?” You asked, your tone sleepy and your eyes clearly fighting to stay open

He chuckled, placing an incredibly soft feather-like kiss on your nose “I can flip them myself, you look like you’re going to pass out from your tiredness.”

“I guess I could.” You rested your head more comfortably on his chest and closed your eyes. “But when I wake up you better be done studying.”

Jay nodded “Alright baby.” He smiled, watching as you drifted off to sleep right there in his arms. At moments like that, he thought he was the luckiest man alive to have you— and he planned to never love you.

⪩⪨

College years had arrived and to no one’s surprise, you and Jay were still a couple. Seriously, you two loved each other too much to stay away from the other, even with your busy schedules.

You were laying on the lower bunk bed in his dorm. His roommates were out for dinner and left the whole house for you two. And obviously, what was Jay doing instead of spending time with you? Studying.

You acted like you didn’t really mind, flipping through the pages of a magazine. But seeing his back facing you, his hand moving as he was scribbling things on his notebook— you couldn’t help but feel sorrow.

“Are you going to study the whole night?” You asked quietly, not wanting to sound rude as you rolled on your wide to face him.

Jay raised his brows and finally turned around to look at you. His face was tired, pronounced dark circles under his eyes and he had probably skipped his self care routine for a few days. That didn’t make him less attractive, though.

“Pretty much,” He replied “I’m kind of behind on a lot of study materials.”

“Oh.” You nodded, shifting again to face the mattress of the other bed on top of Jay’s. He took in your bored expression and grimaced “You know you don’t have to stay here while I study, right?”

“But we don’t have time to spend together apart for some evenings,” You stated, looking back at him with a pout.

He chuckled softly, letting out a quiet sigh before closing his study materials and walking over to the bed. He climbed in beside you so he was under the covers with you. He then pulled you in and cuddled you tightly. "I know," He murmured, squeezing you a little tighter “I know baby.”

You rested your forehead on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don't want to disturb you.”

Jay laughed quietly as he kissed the top of your head. "You're not disturbing me in the slightest bit, so don't apologise,"

He said, running his hand through your hair gently. "I honestly don't mind having you beside me while I study." And you knew that, but sometimes you felt as if you were just an element of disturbance in his daily life.

It all started when you saw him fall into a deep slumber anytime he sneaked in your dorm, like he hadn’t closed eye for weeks; then how he’d always find a way to escape your dates to review a few materials and like now, when he’d study with only you in the room.

You knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just trying to survive college, and you felt guilty to have such resentment.

You looked up at him from his shoulder “I just… miss you nowadays.”

His eyes instantly softened "I miss you too.” He sighed “I know I’ve been studying a lot more lately, and I understand if you feel like I'm not spending enough time with you," He admitted.

“And I understand that you’re busy,” You acknowledged “You always work so hard for your degree.”

Jay smiled sadly and rubbed your arm up and down "I know I study like crazy, but it's because all of these things matter so much in the future.” He started explaining “It means that I'll be able to have a more secure job and..." he sighed again and paused before continuing “And i wouldn't have done this if I knew I couldn't spend time with you."

Your brows knitted “Don’t say that.” You raised your head so you could look into his eyes.

“You’ve been wanting to be a doctor since we were kids, Jay, And—“ Your voice cracked a little “I can’t guarantee we’ll be forever together, but you’ll always have a stable job with the degree you’re studying for.”

Jay nodded “I know that too…” He rubbed his temples, frustrated “I just wish I could spend more time with you.”

You smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek “It’s okay, when exams season is over we’ll go on a small vacation, sounds good?”

He chuckled softly, wrapping his arms tightly around your body while pulling you closer towards him. "Sounds nice." he murmured, planting gentle kisses on your forehead “Although…”

You asked in a quiet voice "Although?" Jay looked away, “I still have a big exam coming up next month," He confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know how well I’m going to do, honestly."

“Oh,” You gulped, blinking “And why do you think so?”

Jay gave you a half-smile "I Just feel like I'm not studying enough. The material i need to memorise.. It’s so much— I'm worried that I won't be able to remember most of it when the time comes."

You stayed silent for a few beats, trying to find any solution to help him “Maybe we should do a no-contract month?”

It took him a moment to process what you said "A no contact… month?" Jay repeated, looking away at the wall "Do you mean.. as in no contact with each other? For the entire month?"

You nodded slowly, not sounding sure of your own choice “So you don’t have any distraction and can concentrate on your classes?”

He raised his eyebrows, letting out a long and steady breath before speaking. "I understand it might help me with my studies, but.." Jay looked away from you again, unsure "Don't you think it's a bit too extreme?"

You fidgeted with the blanket, looking down “I know..”

“I mean... it seems pretty extreme." His fingertips then began to massage his temples. "You're right though, I do get pretty distracted when we're together, and my studies have been lacking because of that."

You tried to mask the pain you felt in your heart with a small smile “It’s just a month.”

Jay couldn't help but frown at the idea of not talking to you or seeing you for an entire month. "Yeah, but—" he started, but then suddenly realised. "Wait, does this no-contact month also mean that we can't meet either?"

“People usually do it after a break up, but we can do it just to focus on college. It’s like we’re off but we aren’t, we just don’t talk to each other for a month.” You exclaimed, nodding

He bit his bottom lip “We really can’t meet for a whole month? At all?”

“Baby, listen,” You caressed his cheek, propping yourself up on your elbows. “I don’t like this either, but it’s for the best?” You asked “I don’t want to get in your way.”

He sighed once again “You’ll never get in my way, never say that.” He then slowly nodded his head.

"I completely understand your point, but...it just feels way too bizarre.” His brows were furrowed. “I mean, we're used to talking every day, for us to stop talking for an entire month, it's just..." His words trailed off as he sighed and looked away.

You moved some hair away from his forehead “Just until your next exam.” You said “I’ll work my part time job, save some money and we’ll rent somewhere for a week, just us.”

Jay looked at you, worry painted all over his face “And you’re sure you’re completely okay with doing this?” You gulped down “No,” You whispered “But I’ll have to.”

He seemed to debate your suggestion, silence filling the room. After a couple of minutes, he caressed your cheek “Fine, I guess it's what's best for the both of us right now." He murmured.

“Just stay with me tonight,” You begged, “We’ll start tomorrow.”

His heart broke a little at your wobbling bottom lip “Let’s make the most of the night, my roommates will be back in early morning anyways.” Jay was still surprised you suggested that weird break, and he was even more stunned he had accepted.

You took his face in your hands, bringing him in for a kiss. “I love you.” You murmured on his lips.

Jay softly smiled against your mouth before he kissed you back, wrapping his arms tightly around your body as he started to pull you into him. His arms squeezed you more as he deepened the kiss a bit more, letting out a soft groan into your mouth. "I love you more.”

“No, I love you more.” You stated. He smirked and shifted position so he was now on top of you, resting his weight on his elbow not to crash you down “Bet?”

His hand cupped your cheek before slowly sliding down on your chest. You gasped since it was cold. “Jay… someone might hear us.”

“I don't care,” Jay shook his head, his tone breathless. His mouth claimed yours once again, full of unspoken but mutual feelings “Be mine for the night.”

“I’m always yours.” You said, letting him do anything he wanted, knowing you had made an oath to never leave his side.

⪩⪨

Finally, college had almost finished and it was the last day before university. Anyone would’ve been on cloud 9 but you felt a pang of sadness. It meant you and Jay had to part ways, the university he had chosen was in the big city, five hours away from your hometown.

You waited for him outside the graduation hall, seeing groups of overjoyed students throwing their hats in the air.

Jay came out of the room, rushing after having read your message. He wore his graduation gown and looked ever so perfect.

He saw you, a bright smile immediately appeared on his face as he started to walk to you.

He was incredibly nervous about leaving for college and it showed on his face as he approached you, but seeing you there made everything else seem a bit less threatening.

He finally reached you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "You came," he said softly, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You hugged his chest and whispered “How could I not?” Jay squeezed you back as he grinned, "I'm glad that you did, but I was already sure you would.”

He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.”

“I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, doc.” You teased him with the nickname, but your teary eyes gave away your true feelings.

“This year has gone by so fast.” He murmured, caressing the back of your neck "And of course I’m stuck with you. I wouldn't have it any other way." His smile was so gentle it made you fall for him over and over again.

But the grin on his face disappeared as quickly as it appeared, making you frown “What’s wrong?”

Jay shook his head, “I’m just worried about us now since we'll have to do long distance."

Your lips trembled but you still managed to let your words out “We’ll be okay, right?”

His heart sank as he noticed your trembling lips. He gently squeezed you and gave you a small, reassuring smile. "Of course we'll be okay. If anyone's going to make long distance work, it's the both of us.”

Jay caressed your cheek with his thumb “I believe in us, and I’m going to come back as often as I can so we have time together. It'll be okay."

“Right,” You forced out a smile “We’ll make it work.”

“I’ll be back for summer, we can always go to the lake cottage,” Jay reassured, knowing you’ve always loved your summer trips to his holiday house

“And whenever we have a holiday—" He muttered, a small frown appearing on his face when he realised that you wouldn't be able to see each other as often as they used to.

You couldn’t hold it anymore and a few tears fell down your cheeks, you sniffled “Of course.”

His eyes widened when he noticed you were crying "Hey... hey, hey, hey," He murmured softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. "Don't cry right now, everything's going to be okay, mh?”

“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, smiling with sad eyes “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Jay’s face contorted into a painful expression, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.

He had always hated seeing you crying, but knowing that he was the reason behind your tears made his stomach close. “You know that I'm going to miss you just as much as you'll miss me once we're long distance, right?" He asked.

You chuckled and nodded, sniffling once again “I’ll be here waiting for you, Jay.”

"I'll be back for you every chance I get," He promised, squeezing you a bit tightly.

"Remember to keep in touch constantly, alright? No matter how busy we are, let's always make time for each other over the phone." Jay took out his phone from the pocket. “I bought this new Nokia only for you.”

You smiled widely and showed him your phone, a Nokia of the same type just in a pinkish colour “I bought this for you too.”

Jay pulled your face close to his chest, caressing your head and hair in a gentle manner, just like he always did.

He never failed to make you fall for him with every small action, treating you as if you were worth it. And to him, you were worth every fight, every difficulty coming with relationships. He’d endure it all just to be with you.

“I’m sorry,” You took a deep breath, trying not to let your voice shake. “I didn’t even congratulate you.” You smiled widely, “I’m so proud of you, baby. I really am.”

Jay hadn’t realised how much he needed to hear that until he did.

“Thank you. Seriously, thank you, for always being by my side.” He placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead "You know, since it was your graduation today as well... Maybe I should give you a graduation present.” He trailed off “I actually have a surprise for you, if you would like it."

Your brows shot up in surprise “You do?” Jay nodded and motioned you to wait.

He battled a little with his gown before retrieving a tiny velvet box from the pocket “Here you go, baby.” Your eyes scanned it, “What is it?”

Jay bit his bottom lip to hide his smile “Open it.” He held it out for you to take. You gave him a small stare before opening the small box, revealing two couple rings.

Inside there was also a note that said ‘One day you'll get the wedding ones.’ Your breath hitched.

He smirked as he watched the expression on your face change, becoming incredibly surprised and even a bit teary-eyed as you opened the box.

His eyes softened as he glanced down at the rings “I know they're not the actual wedding bands and it'll take a while until we get to that point... but I wanted to give you these as a symbolic gesture of me promising that we'll be married someday."

You mumbled nonsense for a few seconds, happy tears rolling down your cheeks as you felt overwhelmed by his sudden actions “I love them, I love them so much— I love you.” You blurted out.

Jay held you against his chest as you both embraced each other. "I love you too," He whispered, burying his head into your hair. "I love you so much."

“Oh lord,” You stumbled a little back to look at the rings once again “How much did you pay— They look so precious.”

“Don’t mind that,” Jay wiped the remaining tear stains “You’re worth it, so very worth it.” He tucked your hair behind your ear “And you’re right, they’re precious. Like you.”

You rolled your eyes and hid your face in the crook of his neck “You’re so romantic.” Jay planted a small kiss on your head “You like it when I’m romantic.”

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, just melting into each other’s embrace.

You then sniffled and took one ring out of the small box “Doc, would you mind giving me your right hand?” He chuckled and held his hand out for you “Not at all.”

Jay smiled back as he let you place the ring on his finger, his heart instantly warming up when he realised how real this all really is.

He was finally going to be able to say that he was officially engaged, that he was soon going to be married to you. Jay looked down at the ring as you finished and his eyes started to tear up a bit.

"Thanks," his voice barely came out of his throat, but he was still able to softly smile.

You then gave him the small box and held out your hand for him. He gently squeezed your hand “Shall i?" He asked as he motioned towards your finger, wanting to put the other ring on it.

“Please, do.” You whispered, the anticipation killing you.

Jay carefully took out the ring and looked it over for a couple of seconds.

He then slipped the ring on your finger very slowly, making sure that it was fitted well “It fits perfectly.” He commented, kissing your knuckles, barely brushing his lips on them, like a true gentleman.

You sniffled again and let out a euphoric chuckle before wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your lips on his, never wanting to get away from that boy.

The moment you kissed him, his arms tightened around you, not wanting to let go of you ever again.

He had never felt this way before until you came into his life, back in third grade. He had truly felt complete, that he had finally found the person he would spend the rest of his life with. “I want you always," he mumbled softly between the kisses.

“I want you forever,” You murmured back with the same sincerity. He kissed your lips once more, needing to fill his nostrils with your sweet scent, his mouth with the taste of you before he had to move away for five years.

⪩⪨

A couple of years passed and between ups and downs, you and Jay were still strong. Long distance was difficult, you couldn’t lie, but keeping yourself busy with your small café and meeting whenever you two had free time was enough for you. Besides, you could still call with your matching Nokias.

Which was your plan for that afternoon, you sat down on a table at your café and dialled his number, mindlessly playing with the ring on your finger as you waited for him to pick up, hoping it wouldn’t go to voice mails.

One the call reached Jay, he smiled as he recognized your number on screen, picking it up immediately. It had been some time since you both had called each other, so hearing your voice brought a smile to his face before he opened his mouth and greeted you. "Hi, babe.”

“Hey,” You whispered, relief evident in your tone “Am I calling in a bad moment?” You asked, hearing chatterings from the other line.

“No, no, not at all.” He sat down on a bench outside his university building “What are you doing? Just working?”

“Yeah,” You sighed “But business hasn’t been going well nowadays.”

His heart instantly sank as he heard about how business hadn't been well. He wanted to be your support system always, even when he wasn't there physically as much as before. “Oh no… I mean, you're doing your best with it, right?"

“I guess I am.” You replied "No, you are." He quickly corrected you “Do you want me to come over so that we can talk about it? We can work on solutions or at least brainstorm."

You were quick to dismiss “No, don’t do five hours of train just for a small complaint of mine.”

Jay tried to recall in mind his schedules, he had finished lectures for that day, which meant he could come to you and then take the late evening train back to the city “Baby… Don’t tell me not to come over if you need me there.”

"I’m serious, Jay, it's okay," You murmured quietly "I just needed to hear your voice, if you have free time you should use it to rest."

The way that you cared for him made his heart beat fast. "I'll gladly come over," He said softly. "I have time to spare. plus.. if I come over, I can actually hug you and comfort you better than over the phone, can’t I?"

“You already came over three weeks ago.” You stated “I know, but like I said, I’d rather spend time with you than not.”

You dismissed him once again “I’m fine Jay, you don’t have to.”

“Babe, don’t tell me you’re fine if you’re not.” Jay pleaded “I don’t think you are, let me come over.”

You stayed silent a few beats “What about uni?” He knew you’d ask “I finished classes for today, I can come over for a few hours and then come back before classes tomorrow.”

You sighed, your voice cracking a little “I could really use one of your hugs.”

“Okay,” Jay breathed out “I’ll be there, wait for me at your café.”

Hating that he couldn’t teleport right to you, he hurried to the train station and waited, knowing you were going through a rough path.

You hardly ever asked for help, and Jay was sure whatever was going on had been haunting you for a while for you to call him in such a state.

After a few hours, the door of your café opened, making the small bell ring. You turned around and started saying “Welcom—“ When you realised it was your boyfriend.

Jay entered the cafe, his eyes instantly searched for you and his face lit up when he found you. It wasn’t hard, you were the only one there.

You were running towards him and he felt his whole heart melting. His arms were wide open and he smiled warmly, taking you into a warm embrace.

Jay immediately pulled you close to his chest, burying his head in your hair and breathing you in.

It had been three weeks since he last was at your side and the scent you had filled his lungs as he finally was this close to you again took him aback by how familiar and comforting it was.

You sobbed quietly, letting out all the tears you’d been holding as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, smelling the familiar scent of lavender of his clothes softener.

Your whole body quivering almost uncontrollably, and he knew you were hiding so much sadness behind those tears. “Shhh... shhh.. It'll be okay," He hissed softly, his voice calm and soothing as he kept whispering those same words to you over and over again.

You pulled away slightly, your whole face contorted in a frown “They want— They want to shut it down.”

Your sentence lacked context but he realised that your cafe was probably going to be closed down soon.

He didn't want your business to close, especially when he knew that it was your pride and joy. He pulled you back into his chest again, “It'll be okay. We'll figure something out.”

“It won’t!” You snapped, your voice breaking “It never does…”

Jay’s heart hurt even more as you shouted, your voice sounding so defeated and sad.

He didn't like the harsh reality you were facing and the fact that you would be going through this— Jay was supposed to protect you from the world, but he had neglected you for too long.

“Oh God—“ You blinked faintly, realisation hitting you “I didn’t know why I shouted, I’m sorry.”

The corner of his lips turned upwards briefly. "Hey, don't apologise for showing emotions." He gently dried your tears "It’s just... so frustrating to hear how you're losing something that you care about, that you've put so much effort in and that you're so passionate about."

You let out a bitter chuckle “It always goes this way.” Jay wanted to scold you for always thinking so low of yourself and never fighting, but he was in no position for that.

“I don’t know what to do,” You shook your head to emphasise your words “If it shuts down how will I pay the rent? I won’t have any money.”

Jay could feel you panic and didn’t want that stress and worry to get to you. "We'll figure something out," He said as he gently cupped your face and lifted it up so that you were staring at him. "We'll figure something out. You're not going to be in this alone, I promise."

You shook your head once more, sobbing “I’ll have to move back with my parents— we’ll be even further away.”

The possibility of you moving into your parents' home still made him feel sick. He wanted to keep you close to him and wanted to share a home with you.

He wanted to move in with you, not have you move back to your parents' house.

"Y/N, it's not going to come to that," He muttered softly, kissing your forehead. You sighed and let yourself go, your weight pressing on him “I’m just so tired.”

“Let me take some of that weight off you, baby,” Jay whispered “I’m here.”

You stayed silent a few beats, letting the mere presence of Jay put back the shattered pieces of your soul. “You just had five hours of train and all I did was complain.” You dried your tears with your thumb.

You showed him a faint smile “Sit, I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” He nodded and walked to the nearest table, sitting down.

You made him a cup of coffee and sat down on the chair opposite to him, smiling “It's on the house.”

He grinned softly as he took the cup, the smell of the coffee filling him with delight.

It was such a simple thing and yet it meant so much to him, given you made it. "Oh, so even though you're in a rough patch, your hospitality has not gone," he teased playfully before taking a sip.

“Call it boyfriend pass.” You winked at him. You then cleared your throat and fidgeted with the ring “How’s uni?”

Jay took another sip “Just uni, lectures… assignments here and there, many exams.” He trailed off “Just very busy.”

Your brows knitted in guilt “I’m so sorry you had to come here.” Jay took your hand in his, your rings tingling as they touched “You needed me, You needed comfort." He chuckled lightly. "And there's nowhere else I should have been other than here."

You answered with a smile and took your chair, scooting close to him. You put your head on his shoulder “Want me to stroke your hair for a bit?” He asked and you nodded “Please.”

Jay started stroking your hair, sipping the coffee with the other “How do you feel right now? Better?”

You chuckled “Less like a wreck.” A few minutes of silence followed until Jay asked “Are you scared of losing the café?”

"I feel like all the efforts I made weren't enough." You closed your eyes "I should've settled for a more stable job."

"But that would've made you so unhappy, you know?" he spoke softly. "Baby, I feel your enthusiasm every time you talk about your café, don’t regret something that made you happy.”

“What about you?" You raised my head and rested your chin on his shoulder to look at his face "Do you ever get so tired of studying you want to quit?"

"Sometimes," Jay admitted. “There were plenty of all night studying sessions that kept me up and made me question how I got to this point in life." He laughed, nudging your side playfully.

"But I would've never thought of quitting. I know it's going to pay off in the end." You hummed “Of course, You always work so hard.”

"And so do you," He whispered softly, squeezing your hand gently. "Sometimes I don't understand how you work at your cafe for so long and still have energy left to do other things... and sometimes I'm just worried about you overworking."

“You don’t push yourself too much right?” He asked, his voice laced with worry. Your sudden silence made him wonder if you were not telling him something.

“I fainted once.” You confessed. His grip tightened around your hand as he looked down at you, “You fainted? When? Why didn't you tell me about it?"

“Before Christmas break.” You whispered “It was exam season, I didn't want to distract you.”

It was in moments like those that Jay felt like giving everything up. Because why on earth would you think you were being a burden, a distraction to him when you literally fainted?

"No, no... you should have told me, even if I was busy. I would've come to you then." You sat up properly “I didn’t want you to.”

He was speechless for a minute, his mind trying to process what had happened. "Why wouldn't you want me to know? How could you go through it on your own?”

"Jay, Jay," You said, taking his face in my hands. "I'm grand, alright? I'm doing fine."

"I don't like that you hid something so serious from me," Jay muttered softly, his eyes meeting yours. "It's too important to hide from me."

“I know,” You nodded, letting go of his face “And I’m sorry.” Jay nodded at your apology “How did it happen?”

You sighed “I couldn’t afford to keep other workers so I had to run the café alone, I ran around and around and then I had a few other things.” You gulped down, recalling the moment “I went to bed feeling a little dizzy, I paid it no mind but the next morning as I woke up I fell flat on the floor.”

Jay’s whole world shuttered. He looked down to the floor, his jaw tense as he took in your words “You should’ve never ignored those signs, Y/N.” He called you by your name only when he was serious, his low voice sounding a little scary

“How could you—“ Jay took a sigh, trying to calm down “It could’ve been worse, something could have happened while you slept, you could’ve hit your head..” He looked as if he was on the verge of tears.

“Jay..” You murmured “I’m okay now, I know the risks I took, I was incoherent.” You took his hand in yours “It won’t happen again.”

“I should just transfer back here.” He got up from the chair, pacing around the room “I can take the train everyday to the city, I can do that, yeah.”

“No.” You stopped him “Jay, no.”

“Yes,” He turned around, facing you. His breath was heavy “Y/N, you— you could’ve died.”

“I didn’t.” You tried to soothe but even you felt like your efforts were worthless. “That doesn’t change the fact that I almost lost you— and I wasn’t even aware!” Jay looked like a maniac, his hands in his hair and his eyes bloodshot from frustration.

There was a moment where you both just stared into each other’s eyes, no words exchanged. Your eyes were full of regrets for having kept that from him and his were filled with the same emotion for not having taken care of you the way he should’ve.

“Don’t give up now, not for me.” You shook your head, slowly walking closer to him until you touched his forearm with your fingers, letting him know you were there. Breathing.

“You’re worth it.” Jay breathed out the same words he’d been repeating you, looking down at you, studying out features. His glance was so soft it almost hurt “Not this.” You shook your head.

Jay pulled you into a hug, so tight and full of emotions “Just three more years and we’ll be together.” He murmured “Just a little bit longer and we'll be able to share an apartment together. Just you and me."

You smiled on his chest, hugging him back “And we’ll get married.”

His entire face lit up with glee whenever you mentioned the idea of marriage, his finger swirled around the ring on your finger. “And we'll get married," He whispered softly, his eyes still focused on yours. "We'll finally be married and our families will finally stop asking us about our wedding plans," He laughed, the previous tension already forgotten

“Don’t even get started.” You laughed as well

"Yeah, for me it's my mom constantly bothering me with 'so when is it going to happen?'" He paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side playfully. "And for you? Is it your dad that's constantly bringing up the topic?"

You smiled and nodded “He’s afraid he’s going to die before he can walk me on the aisle.”

“That’s just a better incentive to wife you up.” Jay held your arms in his hands, gently rubbing them. You looked up at him and couldn’t help but cup his face, bringing your lips to him once more.

Jay’s eyes lit up the moment you kissed him. He let out a soft murmur, his lips responding to your kiss softly.

“I missed you,” You murmured between kisses “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Jay responded, his lips travelling to the back of your head, tilting it to deepen the kiss “Only three years and you’ll be mine forever.”

“I think I’ve always been yours.”

⪩⪨

Another year had passed and New Year’s Eve came. A bummer that Jay could not come back to you those holidays because he had found a job to maintain his studies and was simultaneously studying for an extra course. After the small fight you had at the café (that shut down not long after) you two grew closer, if it was even possible.

Despite the long distance, you felt so connected to him. You dialled his number, feeling as you waited for him to answer.

Your phone beeped a bit before hearing his familiar tone on the other end. "Hey babe," His voice was as bright as ever “Did you miss me?"

“Hi,” You breathed out, sniffling due to the cold temperatures “I don’t miss you at all.” You teased

Jay’s brows furrowed slightly as he heard you sniffle. "Hey, are you okay? Are you sick?" He asked instantly with concern, ignoring your playful joke and wanting to make sure you were alright.

"I'm outside!" You explained happily, looking around at all the people inside the main square "Fireworks are nicer if you see them from here."

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard that. “Good. you gave me a bit of a scare there, babe. Are you enjoying yourself?” As expected, the soon-to-be doctor always worried for nothing.

“No, there are so many couples here," You joked "My boyfriend is so evil he didn’t even come to me."

Jay chuckled softly "Oh yeah? Just wait until I'm there. I'll make all those couples in the whole square jealous." He groaned, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm missing being with my girlfriend when we should be spending the new year together."

"I understand," Yoh reassured, looking up at the huge clock ticking close to the new year, a feeling of both nostalgia and excitement washing through you. "What are you doing now? Don’t tell me you’re studying".

“Well... you guessed it," He admitted softly, “...Studying. I have a final exam for my extra course coming up soon."

“No, Jay.” You said sadly “Not now.” His brows furrowed at your sudden change of tone and he asked “What’s wrong?”

You sighed “Can you drop your pen and walk to the window?”

Jay was caught off guard by the unexpected request. Though he had no reason to resist you, he set his pen and his open study books aside and stood up. He walked to his window.

"Three more minutes before the new year," You murmured "Look at the fireworks with me, the sky is only one so it makes me feel closer to you."

His eyes immediately turned to the outside, looking at the fireworks and the sky that was lit up by so many bright colors. It was breathtaking, and his eyes took it all in as he stood in the window, watching the sky as the time slowly ticked towards the new year.

He could almost imagine you right next to him, both of you watching the beautiful display together. "Yes," He whispered, “I can almost feel you right next to me."

“One more minute!” You squealed happily, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend.

Everyone started laughing and screaming, clapping their hands as the clock struck midnight, the sky lit up with more fireworks “Happy New Year, baby.” You told Jay and he said back the same words.

“Just one year and half until our big plan.” You stated, looking down at your ring.

“Just one year and half…” He repeated, a small smile displayed on his face

“We’ll be alright… Won’t we?” You asked, your voice quiet, barely audible with all the external noise. But Jay still heard you, he always did.

The question you asked was so simple, but it carried a lot of weight to it. "Yeah. We'll be okay, babe." His soft voice assured you of that. "Of course we will. We have always managed to find ways to deal with distance... we'll be fine."

You looked around and saw couples kissing and holding hands, spending that special time together. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, you stepped away from the square and back on the way to your apartment "Can you stay on the phone a little longer? Until I get home..."

“Of course baby,” Jay reassured, playing with the necklace he always wore. “I’ll stay on the phone as long as you need me.”

You started walking, your nose red and cheeks hurting from the cold weather “It’s so cold nowadays.” You commented.

"Hey... you're okay, right? Are you sure you'll be alright making your way home alone? Are you wearing enough layers?” Jay asked softly, his tone of concern obvious.

You chuckled at his words “Don’t act like my mother.”

He laughed along with you. "Sorry... I just— worry too much about you sometimes. you know?”

You nodded though he could not see you. “I know, but I'm grand here.” You hummed “I’m an independent woman.”

“That may be true,” Jay stated, his whole face shining from the light of the fireworks “But your boyfriend here is worried about your health, especially in this cold weather.”

"I’m about to reach home and then i'll take a warm shower and go to sleep," You murmured, placing your free hand in your pocket "You don't study until late night, ok?"

"Well..." His voice was playful "No promises, a man's got to get good grades.” But your tone wasn’t “Please Jay… At least not today.”

“Okay, alright.” He knew you were just worried for him the same way he was for you “I’ll stop studying for tonight.”

“Promise?” You asked, “Promise.” He answered.

“Then, after you take a shower, can you stay on the phone for a while?” Jay’s voice was laced with vulnerability, the long distance taking a ton on him as well.

Your voice softened at his words “Of course baby,” You whispered “I’ll stay with you on the phone.”

“Hey, Y/N.” Jay murmured “Yes?” You said, fiddling with the keys.

“I love you.” You stopped moving for a moment, “I love you more.”

⪩⪨

Years passed by and vows were exchanged, Jay and you now happily lived together.

You still remembered that day when you got him at the train station, feeling all giddy to finally have the life you’ve always dreamt of with the only person you’ve ever loved.

You thought all your vicissitudes were over, that your many many years of patience had finally paid off— but no, because Jay’s traineeship was taking your place yet again.

Despite the fact that your apartment that once looked lifeless was now hosting a couple, it seemed as if it had lost its previous colours with your gloomy demeanour.

Jay spent all his day at the hospital, learning new things and trying to build a good relationship with his superiors.

And it’s not like you weren’t happy for him— No, you were overjoyed… but what about you?

Since you two became a couple, it felt as if you had spent all your life waiting for him, waiting for the life you two had promised to build together, but the only effort came from you. And now that you were married, the crack in your heart started to become a chasm.

Everything went downhill when, one day, you woke up yet again to an empty bed, the wrinkled sheets the only proof they Jay had spent the night there. He came back late and got out in the early morning— an endless circle that maybe he was used to when he was still a student.

But now Jay was your husband and you seeked all the things any wife wished for. Just some quality time would have been enough.

You got up from the bed and held your breath when you heard a noise coming from the living room. Quietly, you tiptoed to the bedroom door, peeking from the glimmer of the half-closed door.

A rather messed up Jay stomped around the house, in search of something. You got out of the door and walked inside the living room “Jay?” You asked

Without even greeting you, he just said “Where’s my spare gown?”

You blinked faintly, your mind still a little empty from sleeping “I don’t know.” Jay let out a deep groan “I told you to wash it the other day.”

“I still need to hang it with the laundry.” You replied, now remembering “You know I need it to work, Y/N.” His voice was low

“The other one?” You asked “Dirty,” He just mumbled, fumbling with some shirts “Hey! I had folded them neatly.”

“Fold them again.” Jay just answered “I need my gown, we have an important meeting today with the head doctors.”

“It’s dirty,” You stated “Just ask one of your colleagues to lend you one.”

“There’s my name on the gown.” He stopped and dropped the clothes on the floor. “I can’t talk to them while wearing someone else’s name.”

“Just cover it.” Jay rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “I’m trying to help you.” You said, noticing his distressed behaviour.

“Well, you’re not.” He tsked, making you open your mouth in disbelief. Jay looked at you, raising a brow “What?”

“What?” You asked back with a frown “You just disrespect me and the work I do in our house and you ask ‘What’?” Your voice was dangerously low.

He gulped, glancing down at the discarded ironed clothes on the floor. He picked them up and placed them on the chair once again “Here.”

You let out a sigh and looked away. “Just take your dirty gown and go to your meeting.” You said harshly.

Jay ran a hand through his hair, frustrated “Listen Y/N— I didn’t mean to be so rude.” You still refused to meet his gaze.

“Please, love. Don’t get mad now.” He walked a step closer to you but you just backed away, making him frown “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” You muttered, your eyes full of hurt now locking with his dark ones. His breath hitched as he took in your pained expression.

“W-Why?” He asked, genuinely confused, “If it’s because of this— I’m sorry, I’m just so stressed.”

“And I am tired.” You stated “I am tired of waking up to an empty bed and going to bed the same way, I am tired of spending all my holidays alone because of your work.”

You let out all the build frustration you had felt through the years “I am tired of waiting for you, Jay, when will all this end?”

Jay raised his hands to caress your arms but you stepped back again, not needing to break down now, but needing to set this straight.

“I know, I’ve been so busy lately.” You scoffed, “You’ve always been busy.”

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, Jay.” Your tone was shaky, “I’ve always supported you, since we were kids and even more after we became a couple. But I feel like I missed the most beautiful years of my life because of you.”

His breath sagged “Don’t say that..”

“But it’s the truth.” You stated “I said more ‘I miss you’s than ‘I love you’s in this relationship.”

“I—“ Jay’s bottom lip wobbled. “I’m sorry..”

You sighed, shaking your head. You then glanced up to the clock “It’s already eight, you’ll be late to your meeting.”

You turned around and were about to walk into the bathroom when Jay’s big and strong hands wrapped around your waist “I love you, Y/N.” He said, almost desperately.

You tried your best not to let your tears fall “I know,” You whispered “But maybe you love your job more.” You shrugged away from his embrace and locked yourself in the bathroom.

Jay tried to open the door but you had already turned the key, he helplessly knocked on it “Y/N, please, let’s talk this out.”

As much as you wanted it, your whole body and mind was drained from the constant feeling of sorrow you said in a quiet voice “Just go away, Jay.”

Yeah, he wasn’t going to do that. “Please, come out, let’s talk.” He pleaded

But you just dismissed him once again “I don’t know the things I’d say if we talked now.”

Jay knew he had messed up, really bad this time, and he wanted to make it right. To make it up.

How could he be so obvious to your pain? How could he have not noticed?

You had all the right to be mad at him, in fact, he deserved the slaps you should’ve given him. He deserved your anger, your resentment.

He wasn’t in his right mind that morning— Truth is, he hadn’t been for quite some time.

Traineeship was so exhausting, coming from a whole adulthood of self sacrifice and sabotage, he thought he was the only one suffering. Turned out you were as affected by his actions as him, if not even more.

Jay was so lost in thought he hadn’t even realised he had been typing the same word countless times in the report of the previous meeting. As much as he tried not to think about it, his mind kept drifting back to you.

One of his colleagues noticed his gloomy demeanour and sat on the chair in front of Jay’s desk, tapping his fingers on it “Hey there.” He waved a hand in front of his face.

“Not now, Jake.” Jay groaned, resting his face on his hand, his cheek slightly crushed against his palm “I’m not in the mood.”

“Damn man,” The doctor with the heavy australian accent commented “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”

Jay took a deep sigh, shaking his head “No one, I just am an emeritus douchebag.” Jake raised a playful brow, “Tell me something I don’t know?”

But the death glare he received from the other party made him nod in acknowledgment “Troubles in heaven?”

Jay frowned “How’d you know?” And Jake just smirked in response “You’re so obvious.”

He then leaned his elbows on the desk “Tell me everything.”

Jay tsked “Why should I?” And Jake clicked his tongue back “Dude, believe me, you’ll feel better after you confess your sins.”

“Why do you assume it’s my fault?” The Australian eyed him up and down “Is it not?”

Jay sighed heavily, running a hand on his face “I messed up really bad.”

He nodded, letting Jay know he was listening “Y/N… She’s the best thing that ever happened in my life,” He started “She is my first friend, my first love, my first kiss and time… It has always been her.” He smiled unconsciously.

“But I failed her, I think, I haven’t realised she’s been suffering in silence all these years.” Jay shook his head at himself.

“Does she regret your marriage?” Jay’s eyes widened at such a statement “God, I hope not.” But then he bit his bottom lip “I wouldn’t blame her if she did, though.”

Jake sighed “Listen man, I met Y/N only once or twice, but I see the way she looks at you.”

“How?” Jay asked “As if you were the only one in the whole world, and I mean it.”

“But maybe she doesn’t anymore,” Jay sighed softly “Maybe I lost her for real this time.”

Jake raised a brow, “You love her?” Jay looked at his colleague as if he had just offended him “I’ve always loved her and I always will.”

“Damn right!” Jake smirked, “Now, go tell her.” He shook his head, “I’m on duty.”

Jake sighed and turned the computer screen toward him, he opened a few types and typed on the keyboard and he turned towards him as well and then smiled victoriously “Not anymore.”

Jay glanced at the screen just to see his name had been replaced with Sim Jaeyun on the file with all the rounds “Why?”

Jake got up from the chair and patted his mate’s shoulder “Go get your wife back before it’s really too late.”

⪩⪨

“I’m coming home right now, I’m coming back to you and I’ll make sure you actually stay, both physically and mentally. I’m so sorry for everything baby, and I know this voice mail will probably find you in a desperate state and it breaks me to know I am the cause.” Sigh “I just hope you can forgive me, because I love you, definitely more than my job.”

You replayed Jay’s voice mail countless times, his voice breaking, clearly on the verge of tears. You sat down on the sofa, waiting anxiously for the front door to open, and when it did, you raised to your feet.

Jay rushed inside, almost stumbling as he took off his shoes and gown, discarding both of them on the floor. You both stared at each other, just taking in your presence “Hi.” You breathed out.

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Jay’s arms wrapped around your body, your head pressed against his chest “Forgive me, love.” He whispered in your ear.

You pulled away, just enough to look inside his eyes “It’s okay—“ “It’s not.” He cut you out, “Don’t lie baby, not anymore.”

Jay’s deep, brown eyes were so sincere you felt your heart skip a few beats “I’ve been foolish, I didn’t realise your discontent for nine whole years. But I do now, I see all you sacrificed just to be with me. I see you.”

You smiled gently, looking up at him. He didn’t fail to notice the swelling and redness in your eyes “I see you too.” You whispered, placing one hand on his cheek.

“You saw me even before I saw myself.” Jay’s tone was gentle, he leaned on your palm “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.” He repeated the same words he said back during graduation day, the day he promised your hand. “I feel like I crashed your dreams, ruined your life.”

“No,” Your brows knitted “No, Jay, don’t ever say that again.” Sincerity filled your eyes “You are my dream.”

A tear fell down Jay’s eyes, a quiet sniffle escaping him. You brought his head down on your shoulders and gently patted his back “Why are you crying?”

“I thought I lost you again, because of my stupidity.” He shook his head, clinging onto your waist as if you were a lifeline.

You took his hand in yours and brought it on your chest “Do you feel it?” You asked. Jay raised his head and stared at you with teary eyes. He concentrated on the palm on your chest and felt your heart beating fast.

“That’s the effect you have on me.” Jay looked like a lost child at your words “Still?”

“Then, still, always.” You nodded your head, your lips curling into a soft smile “What happened this morning, to both of us, it was the anger speaking.”

Jay gently held your hand and brought it to his lips, his knuckles brushing on your ring finger. “I want to focus on you more, to make up for all those years we’ve lost because of my job.”

“Will you let me?” He asked, his head tilting to the side “Yes.” You breathed out

“I’ll take care of you,” He brought you closer by your hand, your chest flush against each other “I’ll spoil you rotten.” He brushed your hair away, his breath hitting your skin, making you shiver “My dear wife.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, murmuring on his lips “I want to have a baby, Jay.” His brows shot up in surprise “You do?”

“Yes,” You caressed the back of his neck. “I want to be the mother of your children.”

“Damn love,” Jay let out a shaky breath. “You can’t say things like that without bearing the consequences.”

You bit your bottom lip, bringing him down to you “I’m ready to bear them.”

Jay took you in his arms in a swift movement, carrying you over his shoulder and spanking your ass “To the bedroom.”

⪩⪨

“Hey, love.” Jay sat down beside you by the porch of the holiday lake house, placing a mug of iced tea on the table.

“Thank you.” You thanked, taking it in your hand with a groan “I really miss coffee.”

“I know,” He smiled gently, caressing the swelling of your belly “But caffeine isn’t good for the baby, is it?”

“Dad! Can I sail the boat?” Your eldest daughter asked, pointing at the boat near the shore of the lake “Fine, but be careful!” Jay shouted so she could hear and you both watched as she sailed the little box you used to sail as well during high school summer break.

You smiled, recalling the old memory, and Jay did the same, watching your face as if you were the best view of all.

“Do I have something on my face?” You asked, feeling a little self-conscious “Beauty.” He winked at you and you nudged his shoulder playfully.

His eyes fell down on your belly once again, a warm expression displayed on his face “Thank you so much, Y/N.”

You frowned at his sudden thankfulness “For what?”

“For everything,” His voice was full of sincerity “For this baby, for our other daughter, for being by my side.”

“And thank you for loving me.” Jay added, once again kissing your ring finger, this time his lips lingering a little longer on your knuckles.

“Oh, Jay.” You let out a shaky breath “That’s very effortless.”

Your eyes then fell down on the necklace, the same one you gifted him for his fifteenth birthday. Your fingers unconsciously reached for it as you began playing with it “You still wear it?”

“I’ll take it in the grave with me.”

[⪩⪨] END.

THANK YOU FOR READING ! REBLOG (and like) AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS!

© I2SUNRIC | DON'T STEAL OR CLAIM AS YOURS.

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

A/N: So the Sandman has me in a chokehold. And I make no apologies. I have so many WIP glaring at me and I’m like “but this new blorbo…”. Hate me if you will but I follow the dopamine. If you would like to be tagged in any further Morpheus shenanigans please send me an ask or reply to this 🥰

Warnings: Do not tag Neil Gaiman in any of my work or he will block me and I do enjoy his page. This fic is an 18+ sloooow burn. I am taking huge artistic license with the world because I am going by the TV series alone. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Tags will be updated per chapter but if you know how the series goes then you know where the tags are heading. This shit is unbeta’d. Reader is femme and I will always be respectful of characters pronouns throughout the fic. If I do slip up please feel free to message me and it shall be corrected.

Pairing: Morpheus x F!Reader/OC insert

Chapter 1: The Waking Realm

Summary: Brought to life by the power of the Dreaming, you were tasked with a single purpose. Find Lord Morpheus. However, once your purpose is completed will he find it in his heart to keep you around or was your purpose the only reason you were brought into being. Multichapter fuckery.

Word Count: 1.5k

Tagging: @a-bang-for-your-bucky

Prelude: Creation

To be created, you must first exist.

It was unfathomable. A darkness so encompassing you felt it possess every crack and crevice or your soul. You tried to take a deep breath, to ease the oppressive feel of the silence clawing at your mind, but you had no lungs. No body, nothing to see, touch and taste with.

You should feel panicked but emotions didn’t exist in such a void. It was empty, enduring, suffocating.

Timeless.

A nothing so deep the only thing you could perceive was it had no beginning, no middle and no end…

“Wake up.” The voice was soft, almost recognisable. “You need to wake up.” Your eyes opened. A soft breeze rippled across your back, the rich rustle of feathers filled your ears. Light struck the back of your eyes making you inhale sharply from the sting. Your fingers curled for the first time, sinking into the black sand with which you were upon. Watching with fascination as it devoured your hand, only to willingly release you, dripping down like fine black rain.

“We have a need of you.” A figure blocked out the weak light, curled pointy ears and round glasses drew into focus as you pushed yourself up. Drawing your knees under you, splaying your hands out to get a good look at them. Brushing the black sand delicately off your skin, marvelling in the way your fingertips felt the fabric of your dress. It hugged your body, flowing out from all sides. The silver was metallic, a splash of brightness against all the dark. Flexing your shoulders you sighed, tipping your head back and glimpsing the deep, inky wings that spread either side of you.

The light was muted, almost grey as it reflected on the shine of the feathers. Your hands quivered, stretching to feel them with the tip of your middle finger. Watching them jostle, feeling the pull on your muscles. They were your wings.

“I am Lucienne.”

“I don’t have a name.” Your hand reached up and your eyes widened. The words came from you, vibrating in your throat, the thin skin of your neck warm to touch. Lucienne smiled slightly, her hand suspended in the space between you.

“Come. I’ll tell you what you need to do.” Her grip was sturdy. A support you needed as you stood on your feet for the first time, your wings flaring to stop you from falling. Looking up you could see you were in some sort of hole. A crater, where sand had exploded outwards in all directions.

“Wh-what happened?” Your tongue tied over the familiar but strange words.

“You, my dear.” One hand held tightly onto Lucienne and the other lifted the tendrils of your dress. Your toes dug into the sand as you both made your way up and out of the crater. Immediately before you were a pair of colossal gates. Intricately carved with all sorts of depictions; it would have taken months to see them all and your wings spread slightly as though you were going to fly up to the top. They were so tall your spine curved as you tilted your head up to get a good look at them.

“What is this place?” Your voice was still so new, the words scratching slightly on their way out.

“The gates of horn and ivory. The King of Dreams carved them himself.” The sound of them opening rendered the air. Creaks and moans of hinges not used in an age until they came to an abrupt stop and you stepped through the gap with Lucienne at your side.

The landscape seemed to stretch from your toes out into the distance as far as the eye could see. Mountains stood tall and squat, but nothing grabbed your gaze as much as the decaying palace before you. You could tell it had once been a castle of great stature. A creation that would have stolen your breath with its beauty and intricacy, now lay in crumbled ruins.

“It’s not much, anymore,” Lucienne told you dryly. A lake, grey and lifeless covered the ground to the right, what was once a bridge now broken and shattered, clouds heavy and angry roiled in the sky but your companion just sighed and began to walk towards it all. The palace was falling down, even now as you approached parts broke away to tumble to the ground. Grass and weeds covered the debris and a sense of immense sadness gathered in your chest.

“It shouldn’t be like this,” you whispered. Wrongness twisted in your swirling depths as you looked around. “Why is it dying?”

“In his absence I can only do so much to keep the realm together.”

“Whose absence?”

“You are in the Dreaming,” Lucienne said with undisguised pride. Frowning you crouched beside a chunk of the palace, putting your hand on the worn stone as you tried to grasp streams of information that seemed just out of reach.

“Where is the King of Dreams?” You asked, not fully understanding the question yourself.

“Ah. I see He has gifted you with some knowledge then. Let me see if I can fill in the gaps.” She strode off leaving you no choice but to pick your way after her down the broken path.

Debris was everywhere. Littering the floor of what was once a huge chamber, covered in dust and dead leaves. A tall staircase wound up to a platform but steps were missing. What was once a grand throne still stands proud in front of the empty windows but even that was damaged seemingly beyond repair. Cracks filtered through the whole place, some deep fissures that you had to almost jump over. Your gaze was captivated by the shards of coloured glass strewn beneath your feet. Colours that were once whole and vibrant were now jaded and shattered. Your wings flared as you bent down to pick up a piece of green glass, marvelling at how it tried to capture the essence of light that was strong enough to filter into the chamber.

“I did try to keep it tidy. But I gave up quite a few years ago. It’s like the palace wants to be in this state and no matter what I do, it has no effect.” Breathing in, your chest expanded rapidly. The air in the Realm was heavy, settling inside you as an extra burden. You wanted to fix this, to stop this place from feeling so erroneous. Something was missing, the very fabric of this Realm was tearing apart, drifting in the unseen winds of the Endless.

“Why did he leave?” Your voice carried more than you expected in the large space.

“He left to retrieve a rogue nightmare but then, he didn’t come back.” You never thought weariness could affect a being in such a magical place, but Lucienne’s eyes were coloured with it. “Something has happened to him and that is why you are here.”

“What can I do?”

“You can find him. Help him. I haven’t heard from Jessamy in years and I can’t…leave the Realm unattended.” She peered at you over the top of her glasses. “But you can.”

“What could possibly be keeping the Lord of all this in the waking realm?”

“I have no idea,” she answered mournfully. “But first we must turn you into a raven. Mortals will not take kindly to you just walking in their realm with these.” Lucienne’s gaze drifted purposely to your wings making you drag them into yourself, the soft rustle echoing against the destroyed stone. “And I’m fairly sure Lord Morpheus won’t accept help from you in this form.”

“Tell me what I must do.” She approached, held within her hand was a necklace. At first glance it didn’t look like much, a simple silver chain dangled from her fingers but what hung on it was an amulet depicting a raven's head. As black as the night sky but it shimmered with an otherworldliness that had you reaching out for a closer look.

“Usually a raven is not chosen this way. They enter the Dreaming in the form but you are something quite different.” Your brow furrowed a little, eyes searching hers for answers but all Lucienne did was subtly cock an eyebrow at your unspoken question.

“What am I?”

“I did what Lord Morpheus cannot. I asked for help and I was gifted, you. True, you’re not what I expected…” she explained, slowly walking round you to get a good look at you. “And I think you’re more than what I bargained for but we don’t question the Creator here. You’re certainly not like the others.”

“Others?”

“Never mind. Now. This amulet will help you find him, it is part of the Dreaming and it will seek him out so trust it. You must bring him home.”

“Ok,” you breathed out. The raven's head settled just below your clavicle, an unusual weight against your skin making you reach for it automatically.

Nothing happened. Your feet were still firmly planted on the broken floor of the palace and you threw a worried look at Lucienne.

“You need to go to the waking realm. It will take you, you just have to let go.” Closing your eyes you blocked out everything around you. A pinprick of light glowed in your mind's eye so you headed towards it, thoughts filled of the waking realm and a being named Morpheus…

Dividers by @firefly-graphics.

[hunny-beann]

You Can; You Will...

Dream of the Endless x f!Reader

Note: Hi! This is my first time ever writing for Dream, so if anything seems a bit off or if there are any minor lore issues, please do your best not to pay them too much mind (although absolutely feel free to point them out). That said, I had a lot of fun writing this fic, and I really hope that you enjoy it!

Warnings: Uh angst(?), is Dream himself a warning? Because he should be.

Word Count: 2,644

This had to be torture, surely.

Some evil method of malice created by some long forgotten god of pain.

Why else would Dream have been looking at you so?

Here, sitting in his rotting throne room, upon his crumbling dais, his expression as close to pained as you had ever seen it before.

"You have returned."

He stated matter of factly, though his eyes betrayed the solemn tone that his voice held.

It had hurt him to come back to his realm and find that you had gone with the others, more so than you ever could have anticipated or imagined. You could see it in the way that his fingers gripped at the arm rests beneath them, and in the way that his all encompassing presence seemed to shrink slightly, as if the very particles of him and his power that made up the world beneath your feet were attempting to flee from you.

You swallowed thickly, but managed a nod in spite of your nerves and the heavy weight that bore down upon your heart at the sight of the being before you.

"I have. I did not anticipate it, but I found that I was suddenly overcome with the urge to..."

The words 'go home' died upon your lips before you could say them, because in truth, you were not entirely sure if this realm truly was home anymore, not just for you, but to anything besides the endless sitting before you and his most loyal of dreams and nightmares.

His own creations.

Dream let out a soft hum in response to your words, before he carefully rose into a standing position, his coat swishing at his feet in that familiarly dramatic way that you remembered so painfully at present, and had once recalled so fondly in the past.

Now though, after over a century of having it as only a memory, a longing lodged deep within the confines of your soul, you found that it almost hurt to bear witness to his familiarities again.

You had buried the Morpheus you had once known in all ways but the physical sense, mourned and grieved him as if you had watched his demise with your own two eyes, never having a day pass you by where you did not think of him and the way that his voice had sounded, or that his hands had felt.

And now, he was standing before you so casually, and you could not help but view this figure before you as a caricature, some imposter sent to cause you even more pain than you had already endured.

Being an immortal human was a burden in and of itself, because it meant watching nearly all those that you loved die in the span of a lifetime, which to you, had long since started to feel like nothing in the grand scheme of things.

You had begged Death to take this weight from you, to let time have its way with your body, bones, and soul, but Destiny had seen to it that his sister knew better than to meddle with this particular affair.

A long dead family member had blessed you with what they perceived to be a "gift" long ago.

And now, you suffered while they lay buried in the ground in lands you had not seen nor touched in centuries.

So, once upon a time, Dream had meant everything to you.

Ever since the day you had met him, after once again grovelling with Death to let you go, he had become abundantly special in your eyes.

Because unlike almost everyone else around you, Dream could not die, not from the ticking of any clock, nor the feebleness of his own body.

He was the one thing you believed to be permanent.

And certainly, it had taken quite a while to warm up to the man, and far longer still for him warm up to you, but after enough impromptu meetings in Death's domain over multiple centuries, he had eventually indulged you when you asked hesitantly if you could see his realm, 'the dreaming' as he so fondly referred to it, for yourself.

And oh, what a sight it had been.

Lush rolling lands, fields upon fields of flowers, a palace so tall it seemed possible to view it from miles and miles away...

You had never wanted to leave.

And eventually, you would not have to anymore.

Not after you had fled to the dreaming after losing your very best friend to disease, her death so dirty and without dignity that you could scarcely bare to even consider it.

He had sensed your arrival, of course he had, for the realm was made of the very power that he possessed, but he had not sensed your woes, nor had he anticipated your sudden presence in his crowded throne room, searching for any familiar face that might serve as a reminder that you were not without some semblance of certainty, to prove if nothing else that you were not yet alone.

You had all but collapsed at the foot of his throne, eyes bloodshot and cheeks wet with tears as you regarded him with a pain he was all too familiar with, but had no clue how to comfort you about.

Loss.

'I can't do it anymore.'

You had told him with absolute certainty, hands clenched into fists as you struggled to hold back sobs,

'I can't endure this torture, I feel as if I have died a thousand deaths without ever having experienced even one.'

Morpheus reached forward, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, before he sat back once more, taking note of the way that, simply due to his touch alone, you were now giving him your entirely undivided attention, breaths shaky but eyes wide and trained on him, as if you had never been touched before, or maybe as if you had never expected him to touch you in the eternity that you would experience.

'You can.'

He said, voice steady and eyes cold, though almost determined looking as he spoke.

'You will.'

You felt your eyebrows crease at his words, but Dream simply shook his head slightly before you could even open your mouth to reply.

He watched you for a few moments, before finally, he decided that enough silence had passed.

'If it is easier, you may remain in the dreaming as long as you please. All I ask, is that you do not make me regret my kindness.'

Shocked, you had nodded, before finally mustering up the strength to respond.

'But why?'

You had asked, watching as the being sitting before you sighed, his gaze traveling up toward the ceiling as he spoke,

'You will not have to watch nearly as many crumble to dust here in my domain, and I can see the toll that your immortality is taking on your feeble human mind. My sister has taken a liking to you, and I do not doubt that she would want me to take pity upon your unfortunate circumstances. To preserve someone she calls a friend, I will allow you to reside here until you give me a reason not to.'

And you never had.

For so very long now, hundreds upon hundreds of years, you had remained almost entirely within the dreaming.

You had friends here, nightmares and dreams alike, although truthfully, none captured your attention in the way that Morpheus did.

And none captured his nearly as much as you somehow managed to.

You were close, bound by some firm understanding of one another that never ceased to solidify the fact that the dreaming was your home, the place where you belonged, and Dream the very host that so effortlessly kept you rooted.

Before, there had been almost nothing for you in the way of consistency or rhythm, and now, there was an ebb and flow, a push and pull, a beat to follow, and the biggest surprise of all was that you made up half of each of these things.

Where Dream would ebb, you would flow, where he would push, you would pull, and you so very easily followed along with and eventually even progressed and changed his rhythm in a way that almost made the dreaming feel as if it had two rulers.

The dream lord,

And his once missing other half, the muse of the very land beneath your feet, and of the wind within your hair.

Until one day, that all came to an end.

The king of dreamers left and did not return.

And you could not even dare try and pick up the pieces of his realm that he left behind.

It had been a shameful abandonment, one full of pain and grief, but only a few short years after Dream's disappearance, you grabbed the scarce few items that did not remind you of him or the family that you were leaving behind, and you vanished just as he had done.

At that point, the slow but sure crumbling of the dreaming had only just begun, but your cowardice had won out over your strength, and you'd quickly found that you could not bare to see it shrink into nothingness.

'You can.'

Dream had once told you.

'You will.'

He had assured.

But you could not this time.

You likely would not ever again.

You were not the first to leave the dreaming, not by a long shot.

But your absence and the meaning that it carried rang out loud and clear for all of those who had chosen to remain.

The once so honored and beloved guest of their lord of dreams had chosen her painful mortal world over anything that the realm had left to offer...

And for many, that was all the proof that they needed that their creator would not return.

You were far from the first to leave.

But you were even further from the last.

"Did you lose faith in me?"

Dream asked suddenly, and you felt yourself gasp slightly at the question.

Lose faith in him?

Was that what you had done?

With almost no consideration for the question, you shook your head.

"No."

You said firmly, watching as the endless in front of you tilted his head ever so slightly, his eyes boring into your own even from across the room and down the ruined steps,

"Never."

Morpheus took a few steps toward you, and almost instinctively, you moved to lessen the space that lay between before forcing yourself to stop, hands clenched into fists at your sides, the pain of seeing your friend, who you had believed to be dead just hours ago, too great even for longing to overcome.

Dream seemed to notice this, and stopped in his tracks, though he was now far closer than before, only a few short steps away.

"Then why did you leave so easily? Why did you abandon the life that I offered you here if you had the faith required to know that I would someday return to the dreaming? Return to you?"

Your breath shuddered at the implication that he had come back in any part for you, but you chose to ignore his words in favor of fighting off his accusations of faithlessness on your part.

"I left because I could not bear to see this world that you created fall apart around me while I did nothing. It felt as if I were watching another loved one die, and I could not deal after believing that someone had taken your life as well. I was hurting, and I found that it was easier to hurt in the waking world, where pain was familiar, than it was to hurt here, where it never seemed to bite so hard. That is why I left. But I never once lost faith in you."

Dream raised a brow at that last part, and you were quick, to clarify,

"I may have thought you dead, but I did not once believe that if you were alive, you would not come back. My belief that you were dead, my certainty in that regard, came from the immense faith that I have in you, Lord Morpheus, because I could not fathom that you ever could have abandoned us or the dreaming... After years, I ceased being capable of thinking that you were somewhere out there anymore. I did not think it possible for anything to bind you so tightly away from your duties, if not for death herself."

Dream stared back at you in response to your words, as if taking them in for several long moments, before finally he nodded,

"I see. Though I do wish you would have considered the fact that I never would have allowed myself to die knowing what I would be leaving behind."

You sighed exasperatedly,

"But we know that you would not be the first to abandon your post, my lord, not the first to leave something as fickle as your universe given duties behind. Who could have blamed you if you died in spite of these things if others were able to willingly leave them?"

Your voice was small and quiet as you spoke, unsure of how Dream might react to the mention of Destruction, even when the wound was not necessarily new anymore.

You watched as the being before you stiffened, his gaze growing ever so slightly colder, before he spun around and began making his way back toward his throne, his tone firm and serious as he replied, still facing away from you all the while.

"I was not speaking of my duties to the dreaming."

He stated simply, though you could tell by his cadence that his words were anything but.

You sighed, exasperated and fragile after all that had been said thus far,

"Well what else was it that you were leaving behind that was so important that I should have known it would keep you alive then, Dream?"

The lord of the dreaming locked eyes with you as you finished asking this question, cold piercing gaze filling you with a deep regret and an immense longing as he sat upon his throne once more, one long leg crossing over the other as he all but stared into your very soul.

"You."

He said simply, voice low and gaze unwavering as he spoke, watching as that one word alone sent you staggering several steps backward, one hand clutching lightly at your chest as your feeble human mind tried to comprehend all that had happened to you in this one day alone.

"Me?"

You whispered, voice echoing slightly throughout the empty throne room in spite of how quiet it was.

"But I am not-"

"You are everything."

Dream cut you off before you could finish, eyes still boring holes into your own as he continued to watch you from his seat, as if knowing that if he moved any closer now, that you would run, run and likely never return for fear of what any of this meant for you and for the once permanent seeming fixture that Dream had so easily played within your life for so long.

You floundered at those words, vision growing bleary and spotty as you turned to rush out of the room, to be anywhere but this pale comparison of the dreaming, the once beautiful world that you had known for so very long.

You fled your home with tears in your eyes and a hand at your heart.

Dream stayed where he sat upon his throne, and watched your fears consume you again until you faded from view.

He did not try to stop you.

A broken home like this was no place for a fragile soul like yours.

And he could offer you no better than the very world he had once so kindly rescued you from.

[flickering-chandelier]

I Heard Your Voice in a Dream

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: Reader’s village in the Spring Court is destroyed by Hybern (F U Tampon), and she is on her own until Azriel finds her. She feels instantly connected to him, but is not sure why, until one morning when he tells her everything.

(Also my first attempt at duel POV)

Warnings: a smutty ending

Word Count: 6.4k

You were running for your life when Azriel found you. 

After the High Lord of the Spring Court made a deal with the devil to bring back his love that fled from him, life looked much different for you. 

Hybern had attacked your village, destroyed your home and everything you had ever known. Your High Lord was nowhere to be found. Most of the people you knew didn’t make it out. Somehow, you had, but you couldn’t help but wonder… at what cost?

You spent your time wandering the endless green spring, not sure what to do. You had missed the evacuation. Nobody knew you were injured or where you were. By the time you were well enough to walk, you were alone. 

The panic was made worse by the fact that you knew what was in these lands -- monsters that you had no hope of beating should they target you. 

And eventually, they did target you. 

You weren’t sure what kind of creature it was -- just knew that those teeth could rip you to shreds and you wouldn’t be able to outrun it for long. 

But you did run, because what other choice did you have? You ran and ran, not daring to look back. You could hear it gaining on you with every step, until you felt, more than heard, the ground shaking beneath you. 

Suddenly, it was silent, the terrible feet of the monster no longer sounding behind you. You risked a glance back, and saw who must have been a warrior, with enormous black wings spread behind him, wiping off his bloody blade on the grass next to the carcass of the beast.

You stopped running, turning around slowly, studying him as he looked up at you. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen, with dark black hair and a completely stoic face, giving away absolutely nothing about what he was thinking. The hard lines of that face terrified you as much as they intrigued you. You realized you were shaking as he walked toward you slowly, as if approaching an injured animal. He was wearing some kind of armor -- all black, with gleaming, glowing circles attached to several points of his body. There were dark tendrils of what looked like smoke circling his arms, his hands. He sheathed his gleaming black blade as he approached you. 

He held his hands out, severely scarred, you noticed, palms facing you as he got closer. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” His deep, commanding voice seemed to echo through the now quiet woods.

You couldn’t stop trembling, couldn’t bring your voice to speak.

“What’s your name?” he said softly when he stopped a few feet from you.

You told him, your voice barely above a whisper.

The warrior repeated your name quietly, his hazel eyes softening, then said “I’m Azriel. Are you hurt?”

“I-- I don’t think so.”

Azriel nodded, his eyes scanning your body, as if to confirm it. “What are you doing out here alone?”

You couldn’t help but think that the soft, gentle voice he was now using with you was such a juxtaposition to the fierceness of his armor, his no doubt rock solid body, his massive wings. “I have nowhere to go,” you finally choked out.

His brow furrowed, his eyes swimming with emotion you couldn’t quite place. “Your family?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say it. The expression on your face seemed to say enough. His jaw tightened as he swallowed.

“Your home?” he asked, his voice husky.

“Destroyed,” you whispered.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he said, his expression softening as he studied your face. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head, but you couldn’t imagine what he was contemplating. 

“Thank you,” you croaked out eventually. “For saving my life.”

You turned to go, not wanting to inconvenience him further, but his hand grasped your wrist. As you turned around, you noticed his demeanor had completely changed. He staggered back a step, still holding onto you, pulling you forward a bit. Where before he was confident and calming, his eyes were now wide, his mouth open in what could only be shock.

“What is it?” you asked.

Azriel shook his head slightly, as if trying to clear it. “Come with me.”

You didn’t try to hide your surprise. “You don’t have to do that, I’ll manage.”

He moved his grip from your wrist to your hand, holding it carefully in his, as he gazed at your face, his eyes pleading. “You won’t survive out here. My home -- it’s safe. You’ll be safe.”

Contemplating this, you tried to weigh your options. You knew he was right, that you wouldn’t make it for much longer alone out here. You could try to make it to another court, but how long would that take? And what would happen to you if you got there? But, his home, the one he claimed was safe… you had never seen anyone like him before. Never seen anyone as intimidating. Finally, you asked. “Who… are you?”

His cheeks dusted red as he seemed to grapple for the right words. “I work for the High Lord of the Night Court,” he said carefully.

Unconsciously, you took a step back, pulling your hand from his grasp.

Azriel’s eyes flared. If you didn’t know better you would think it was panic. “It’s not what you think,” he said, his voice steady despite his body language.

“The Night Court?” you felt your heart beating faster. Why did your savior have to be from there, of all places? The only thing worse than these woods would be the Court of Nightmares, where not just the High Lord, but the people were brutal and malicious.

“If you just saw it, you would understand,” he said, taking a careful step towards you again. “I will keep you safe, I swear it.” His eyes remained pleading in a way that you couldn’t comprehend.

“Why?” you asked, trying to make sense of this warrior before you. “Why do you care so much?”

He hesitated, his eyes searching yours. Finally, he said with all the sincerity in the world, “I couldn’t live with myself if I just left you here.”

You sighed, trying to think. As if reading your thoughts he said, “You either trust me or be eaten by something out here.”

He was right. You knew he was. Still, you couldn’t stop the fear that lodged in your throat as you turned back to him and said resignedly, “Okay. Take me with you.”

---

Azriel tried to keep his breathing steady as the two of you made it to the townhouse in Velaris. He knew he would have a lot of explaining to do. 

He watched your eyes widen as you took in the sight around you. Children laughing, people walking and talking, seemingly without a care in the world. A bustling city nestled between the mountains of the Night Court. 

“Where… are we?” you asked. Your voice had not yet risen to a normal volume in the short time that he had known you.

Azriel didn’t know how much to tell you. He would likely already be in hot water just for bringing you here. “The Night Court,” he said, trying to keep his voice bland. “Sort of.”

You gaped at him. 

Azriel winced as you neared the front door. “I hate to do this. But, I need you to wait out here.”

Your eyes only widened. “You’re going to leave me?” 

His heart cracked a bit at your words. “It should only be a few minutes. I told you, it’s safe here.”

You scowled, crossing your arms, but finally said, “Okay.”

Azriel nodded once, took a deep breath, and walked inside. Cassian, Feyre, and Rhysand were all in the living room. Rhys was laughing at something Feyre said. All eyes looked to you as you stepped into the threshold. 

“You’re back early,” Rhys said.

“I need to talk to you,” Azriel said to Rhysand, his voice sounding off, even to his own ears. “Alone.”

The others looked between the two of you curiously. Rhysand rose, masking his surprise, and gestured to his study.

When they were alone, Azriel didn’t know what to say, how to start. Finally, Rhysand had to say “What’s going on, Az?”

Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. “When I got to the Spring Court, there was a woman. Running through the woods, from a bogge.”

“Okay,” Rhys drawled.

“I saved her, obviously. But, Rhys, you should have seen her. She was terrified and alone. I think she’s from the village that Hybern attacked.” 

Rhysand raised an eyebrow. “And?”

Azriel held his gaze. “She’s my mate, Rhys.”

The High Lord swore. “You brought her here, didn’t you?”

“What was I supposed to do? She would’ve died out there.”

Rhysand nodded, processing the information. “It was a risk, bringing her here.”

“I know it was,” Azriel said, unwilling to apologize, not for saving his mate’s life.

Despite the danger Azriel had put them in, Rhysand smiled at his brother. “You found your mate.”

Azriel nodded. He hadn’t really processed the information yet.

“Does she know?” Rhys asked.

“No. She’s going through enough right now.”

Rhysand nodded again. “Just be careful. You know how it went when Feyre found out before I told her.”

“I know.” 

“So,” Rhys said, leaning against his desk. “I guess we let her stay in the House of Wind. She can find her own place later, if she wants.”

Azriel breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Really.” 

---

True to his word, Azriel was back a few minutes later. You were still shocked, trying to make sense of the day. How could this place be a part of the Night Court?

“I can take you to your room now, if you’re ready,” he said by way of greeting. 

“My room?” What, in his house? 

“Unless you want a tour of the city first? I figured you’d be tired,” he said naturally, as if he were speaking about the weather. 

You couldn’t help but gawk at him. “I get a room?”

“Yes,” he said, as if it were obvious.

“Okay,” you said cautiously. “Sure, let’s go to… my room.”

He cleared his throat, taking a tentative step toward you. “We’ll have to fly.”

You just blinked at him. Surely, he didn’t mean…?

He motioned toward you. “May I?”

Resolved, you said, “At this point, why not?” 

The ghost of a smile appeared on his lips before carefully, he swept you up in his arms, glancing at your face before flapping his mighty wings, taking the two of you up over the city, toward a large mountain.

You clung to him, your stomach twisting in knots, until he landed gently on a balcony on the top of the mountain.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he set you on the ground.

You nodded, looking past him into the formal dining room inside. “Where are we?”

“This is one of the High Lord’s residences in the city. He doesn’t really stay here with us,” he said, opening the door and leading you inside. 

“Us?”

“Me and a few others that you’ll meet. His inner circle.”

Again, you felt that fear spike through your body. The High Lord of the Night Court. His inner circle. What had you gotten yourself into?

As if sensing your fear, he stopped and faced you, looking at you intently. “The stories you’ve heard… they’re not real. At least, not in the context that you think.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to form a response. But, surprisingly, you wanted to trust him, this man who saved your life. 

When he realized that you weren’t going to say anything, he cocked his head, motioning for you to follow him through the house. You silently obeyed, his heavy footsteps echoing through the empty hallways. 

Finally, he stopped before a room, shouldering the door open and gesturing for you to step inside first. It was more lavish than any room you’d seen in your village in the Spring Court. The four poster bed was huge in the center of the room. To the right was a sitting area with two chairs and a couch, cozy looking rugs, and through an open door you could see a washroom. It was more inviting than you had expected. 

“Will this be alright?” Azriel asked as you surveyed the room.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, this should be just fine.”

He smiled faintly. “I’m just a few doors down, if you need anything.”

“You’re leaving?” you asked, for the second time that day.

Hesitating by the door, he said, “I thought you’d like some time to unwind. I imagine it’s been quite a day for you.”

You nodded, but couldn’t help the pang you felt at being left alone again. Azriel was starting to feel like all you had in the world. 

After studying you for a beat, he said, “I can come back in an hour? Give you some time to settle in?”

You couldn’t stop the small smile that tugged at your lips. “Okay.”

---

An hour later, Azriel was knocking on your door, wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into. This morning, he was leaving for the Spring Court to check on how Tamlin had been handling things, and now his mate was staying a few doors down, with no idea where she was or anything about him. 

The breath was knocked right out of him as you opened the door. You had changed into leggings and a sweater, the shape of your legs on full display, your hair, slightly damp, was falling loose in ringlets over your shoulders. 

An angel, he thought. You looked like an angel. 

“I’m glad you gave me that hour,” you admitted, looking up at him from beneath your lashes. Azriel felt faint. “I haven’t had a real bath in ages.”

Clarity struck his brain again at the reminder of what you had been through, how you had been living since the attack on your home. His heart ached for you. He wanted to rip Hybern apart with his bare hands.

“Do you want the tour?” he asked, dumbly, trying to stomp down his emotions,

You agreed, and he led you through the halls, the tug in his chest dazing him. He ached to reach for your hand, to bring your body into his. How had Rhys endured all that time with Feyre, feeling like this?

As you walked through the house, you started asking questions, and Azriel answered to the best of his ability. He told you about Velaris, how secret it was, why it had been kept a secret. The Court of Nightmares, the lies they had to spin. He explained that he was the Night Court’s spymaster, explained his shadows, his shadowsinger abilities, his wings. He didn’t give a ton of details, not wanting to overwhelm you, but not wanting to lie either.

You told him of your past, too. Of your life with your family before Hybern, your cottage, your friends. None of them had survived the attack. Azriel clenched his fists as you spoke, marveling at how kind and reserved you were, despite the horrors that you had been through.

Suddenly, there was a commotion in the direction of the dining room and he winced. He would have to bring you to dinner, to face the entire group. Azriel knew that Rhys had relayed the information by now about his… guest. That was why they had all insisted on coming to dinner, to scope you out.

He felt guilty about keeping you out of the loop, that everyone would know that you were his mate. But you knew how much pressure could be put on females to give into their mates. He would never do that to you, he wanted you to have a choice. 

He would just have to wait until you were settled, until you knew that you were safe with him. 

You looked at him questioningly, and he simply said, “Are you hungry? It’s almost time for dinner.” 

“Dinner…” you trailed off, a question in your eyes.

“With everyone. Yeah.”

Your eyes widened and he couldn’t help himself. He took your hand in his like he did in the woods, what had made the bond snap into place. “It’ll be okay. They’re good people.”

You looked skeptical, but nodded, moving a bit closer to him. He swore he felt his heart miss a beat. 

Azriel led you to the dining room, still holding your hand. At the threshold of the room, you dropped his hand and stood behind him, peaking around his shoulder at the loud group. He could tell you were frightened, and wanted desperately to hold you, to take the fear away.

He cleared his throat, catching the attention of everyone in the room. He looked at his friends sternly, willing them to behave, at least for tonight, before he introduced you to them. 

You remained behind him, creeping out the littlest bit, placing your hand gently on his bicep. He looked back at you, trying to calm you down like he had in the woods. 

“Come on,” he murmured, lightly placing his hand on your arm and guiding you to your seat. You followed, your body taut. 

Azriel introduced you to Cassian, Mor, Elain, Nesta, and Amren. You stayed silent, wide eyed, no doubt realizing the power in the people around you. Finally, he gestured to Rhys and Feyre. “And this is the High Lord and Lady.”

Your eyes widened further then, taking in Feyre. “High Lady,” you murmured, in awe. 

Right. The High Lady. Feyre was the one who had tore the Spring Court apart from the inside out. Azriel hadn’t even thought of that, and watched your reaction. 

Feyre smiled at you kindly and Rhys looked extremely proud. “Honestly, that… that’s amazing. A High Lady,” you repeated. Azriel let out the breath he was holding.

“We sure think so,” Rhys smirked, his eyes sliding warmly to Feyre.

Azriel could feel some of the tension leave your body, and he nearly slumped with relief. 

Your reaction seemed to please his friends, too. Azriel couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride. 

Throughout the course of dinner, you had remained silent, your doe eyes taking in everything before you. Azriel was hyper aware of you beside him, trying to sense your every reaction. 

After dinner, Azriel walked you back to your room, pausing at the door. “How are you doing?” he asked.

“I think I’m okay,” you said. “It’s not what I expected.”

Azriel nodded. “In a good way?”

You smiled lightly up at him. He nearly fell over. “Everyone seems… normal. Like a family.”

Azriel smiled faintly. “They are. We are a family.”

Studying his face, you stayed silent for a moment. “Thank you,” you whispered.

He squeezed your shoulder gently, feeling his heart constrict at your vulnerability. “Sleep well. Come get me if you need anything, okay?”

You nodded, still smiling slightly as you went inside and gently closed the door behind you.

---

Despite your exhaustion, you lay awake, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, your mind spinning. A family. That’s what this was, all of these powerful fae in one room, the mightiest warriors, the most fearsome High Lord… talking and teasing and laughing at dinner. 

You had felt Azriel’s eyes on you, gauging your reactions. 

Azriel. He was what was truly keeping you up, you thought. The most beautiful man with the scarred hands and the siphons, you had learned, that helped him harness his unbelievable power, the apparently legendary blade at his side. And yet, the way he watched you, the way his voice changed when he spoke to you…

You couldn’t help but trust him, feeling safe next to him. He had saved your life, after all. It was that thought that was wisping through your mind as you finally drifted off to sleep. 

---

The first night in your new bed, you had slept through the night once you were finally able to sleep, too exhausted from the events of the day to be chased by monsters in your dreams. 

The second night was a different story. 

You didn’t even realize you had been screaming until scarred hands were shaking you awake, hazel eyes so close to yours, full of worry and protectiveness, saying your name over and over until your eyes cleared. 

Azriel’s fingers were rubbing soothing circles on your shoulders. “It’s okay, you’re safe. It was just a dream,” he said softly, cupping your cheek in his rough hand when you had stopped trembling.

“I’m sorry,” you croaked, tears springing to your eyes. 

He gently wiped the tears away with his thumb, not taking his eyes off you for a second. “For what?” his voice was husky from sleep.

“Waking you,” you whispered, captivated by his hands on you, his eyes swimming with emotion. 

“Don’t be sorry,” he said gently, his thumb still absently stroking your cheek. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice to be audible enough for him to hear.

“Do you want -- I can stay. If you want. Until you fall back to sleep,” he said hesitantly. You hadn’t known him long, but you imagined it was rare for him to stumble over his words like this.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said quietly, though you felt your heart swell at the offer. “I appreciate it, but… I’m sure the spymaster needs sleep.”

The corner of his mouth turned up into a faint smile as he pulled back from you, settling in the armchair against the wall. “I’m used to staying up because I’m the spymaster,” he said, humor lining his voice.

“You’ve already done so much for me--”

His voice was still soft, but added a commanding edge as he cut you off. “Sleep, my lady. I don’t mind.”

You considered protesting again, but knew it wouldn’t get you anywhere. And honestly… it did make you feel better to have his comforting presence in the room, chasing away all of your invisible demons.

---

It didn’t take long for your breathing to go steady, lost in a deep sleep. Azriel couldn’t bring himself to leave you yet, though. 

The sound of your terrified shrieks ran over and over in his mind. He had been protective of people before, of course, but this. The terror he could feel radiating off of you, the tears streaming down your face, the look in your eyes before you realized where you were… his hands gripped the armrests so tightly that he worried you might not have a chair in your room tomorrow. 

He focused on you now: your peaceful face, your hair draped across the pillow, your breathing even. It calmed him down slightly, but not enough.

Azriel wanted to stay. Just to be sure that you were alright, to ensure that he would be able to stop the nightmares before they escalated this time, but he did not want to invade your privacy. He knew that you probably wouldn’t be happy to find him still sitting there in the morning. 

So, after you had been sleeping peacefully for quite some time, he dragged himself out of the chair and silently went to his own room, where he could not sleep at all, those screams rattling around in his mind.

---

Azriel stayed by your side for weeks after you arrived in the Night Court, only leaving, seemingly, when he absolutely had to. The two of you would relax in the library, raid the kitchen, wander around the streets in Velaris that seemed endless to you, in the best way. Despite everything that you had heard of the Night Court and its inhabitants, you were starting to feel at home there. Though you still were extremely intimidated by everyone except Azriel, and couldn’t imagine spending time with any one of them if he wasn’t present. 

Though you were starting to adjust to your new life, you continued to wake Azriel so consistently with your nightmares that you wondered if you should just offer to let him sleep next to you. Of course, you knew you couldn’t possibly do that. Your cheeks flushed at just the thought. Guilt gnawed at you though, for being the reason for his lack of sleep, so much so that you offered to switch rooms, somewhere further from him, but he would hear none of it. Nearly every night he came into your room, shaking you awake, then soothing you back to sleep. You couldn’t imagine how he was functioning on so little rest.

One night was particularly bad. You dreamt of the attack on your village, the bloodshed you saw, the terror you felt. You knew Azriel could sense that it was worse than usual, as he wouldn’t take his soothing hands from your arms until you had stopped trembling, which took significantly longer than it normally did. His eyes were filled with more worry than you had seen before, and when he pulled away from you, you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching out and gently grabbing his wrist. 

His eyes widened a bit in surprise as he turned back to face you, but he said nothing. 

“Can you come here?” Your quiet voice cracked on the last word and his jaw ticked at the sound. 

He approached you slowly, like he didn’t want to do the wrong thing. “What can I do?” he murmured. 

“Can you -- I mean, would it be too weird…” you flushed, unable to get the words out.

Comprehension flooded his expression and you were so embarrassed that you wanted to take it all back, but then his eyes softened with so much warmth that you wanted to cry. “You want me to lay with you for a bit?”

You bit your lip. “Would you?”

The ghost of a smile. Your heart melted.

You scooched over to the far side of the bed before he settled into next to you, agonizingly slowly. He faced you, propping his cheek on his fist. “Is this okay?”

You could only nod, concealing half your face with your sheets in an attempt to hide how red your cheeks had no doubt become. The heat radiated off his body, his shadows nowhere to be found in the dim light. 

He smiled faintly as you looked at him. He murmured, “you have to close your eyes to sleep, you know.”

More heat rose to your cheeks. “You could sleep too. You don’t have to stay up and guard me.”

His smile grew. “Isn’t that literally what I’m here for?”

“You’re here for…” you contemplated how much you should tell him. “Your comforting presence,” you finally said. 

“You find my presence comforting?” he said, his voice losing that teasing note he had been using moments before.

“Of course I do,” you said, slightly mesmerized by those hazel eyes that rarely left yours.

His expression was unreadable as he studied you for another moment before laying down and murmuring, “Go to sleep.”

So, you did.

---

Azriel could not sleep.

His mate. His mate, who flooded his thoughts day in and day out, whose tug on him drove him mad every waking moment, was in bed with him. And she had no idea what she was. Or what he desperately wanted to do to her.

Your comforting presence. 

The words drifted around his mind ceaselessly. He was willing to bet that his mate was one of the only people who would ever feel that way. Most people feared him, or were at least wary of the near-silent shadowsinger.

But, his mate… 

Azriel’s eyes whipped to you as your breathing changed, ready to wake you up again if need be. He watched the rise and fall of your chest carefully, before it evened out again and he relaxed back against the mattress. 

He would have to tell you. Soon. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take this, without having any idea how you felt about him. 

He thought of you, as he always did lately, when he finally drifted off to sleep. 

---

Strong arms were holding you when you awoke. Before you were fully conscious, you snuggled further into the warmth. Mother only knew how long it had been since you had felt that safe. 

It wasn’t until you heard the grumble of a sleepy male behind you that your eyes sprung open and you realized where you were. You were in your bed, faint sunlight shining through the curtains. And the shadowsinger was behind you, his arms wrapped around your middle, your bodies flush together, his breath tickling your neck. 

You were spooning. Azriel was spooning you. 

And he wasn’t awake yet.

Mother above and Cauldron save me.

Should you pull away? You didn’t exactly want to. And it had been so long since he had gotten a good night’s rest, thanks to you. 

Selfishly, you couldn’t bear to leave those arms. So, you did what any rational person would do. You pretended you were still asleep and savored the feeling of the strong warrior’s body pressed against yours.

It was a little while later when he shifted and stiffened. He was awake. 

Carefully, he untangled himself from you, backing up to where he had started the night. After a moment, you turned around, to face him, feigning grogginess. 

He was gazing at you, his expression more open than you had ever seen it. His eyes swimmed with something that looked like longing. Or maybe that’s just what you hoped it was.

“Did you sleep okay?” he asked, his voice gravelly from sleep. It made your toes curl beneath the sheets.

“I slept really well, actually,” you said, honestly. “Did you get to sleep?”

He nodded, his expression smoothing back to that unreadable blankness. 

“Thank you for staying,” you said softly. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Azriel’s eyes softened. “I don’t know what I would do without you, either.”

You sat up a bit, propping yourself up on one elbow. “Me? What do you mean?”

He furrowed his brow, as if he were contemplating whether to tell you something or not. 

“Is something wrong?” you asked. 

He swallowed, his jaw clenched slightly. “There’s something I should tell you.”

You just waited, gazing at that beautiful face.

Taking a deep breath, his eyes not wavering from yours, he said, “That day, when I touched you in the woods, I realized that you’re my mate.”

If you weren’t in your bed, you’re sure you would have fallen over. Your heart started pounding and you sat up fully, now very aware of the thin night clothes you were wearing. 

Azriel sat up too, studying, trying to gauge your reaction. 

“That’s why you were so adamant about bringing me with you,” you said quietly, your mind reeling. 

He nodded. “To be fair, I might have done that anyway, but… yes. I couldn’t leave you there.”

You watched his hazel eyes looking back at you. You had been right before, you could see that now. He wanted you. Longed to be close to you. 

“That’s why I feel so connected to you,” you whispered, noting that tug in your chest that is always leading you to him. “Why you always make me feel so safe.”

His expression flooded with emotion. “You really feel that way around me?”

“Of course I do. Since the very beginning,” you said, inching closer to him, so your legs were almost touching. You couldn’t quite believe it. 

Azriel was your mate. The sweet, mysterious, strong spymaster from the Night Court who saved your life. Who had given you a home.

He was your home, you realized with a start. 

“Are you…happy?” Azriel asked, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. 

He had been worried, you realized. Worried that you would be upset, or wouldn’t return his feelings. 

Without a word, you leaned forward, cupping his face in your hands, and kissed him.

You felt the relief rush through his body as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you to him. You settled on his lap, straddling him, deepening the kiss. 

He moaned quietly into your mouth as he slipped his tongue inside and you tightened your grip on him, raking your nails down his back. You felt his hardness pressing against your leg, and flushed at that feeling of being wanted.

His rough hands trailed up your bare thighs, toying with the hem of your nightdress. He stopped kissing you long enough to pull back, a silent question in his eyes. You nodded, smiling, and kissed him fiercely before he slowly pulled the dress up and over your head, his eyes raking your body, now completely bare save for your underwear.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes twinkling, before he kissed sensually down your neck. Then lower and lower…

You gasped as he took your nipple in his mouth, biting gently before soothing over the peak with his tongue. 

“Azriel,” you moaned, and he growled in response, tightening an arm around your waist and flipping you onto your back, pressing your body into the mattress with his.

“You never answered my question,” he said, his voice husky, desperate. He toyed with one of your breasts while he devoured your neck, biting and licking and kissing.

“What… what was the question?” you panted, your mind spinning. 

He laughed into your skin, low and sensual, making your back arch. “Are you happy?”

You took your face in his hands, guiding him to look at you. His fingers stopped, his eyes open and yearning. “I’m home, Az. You’re my home. I’ve never been happier.”

His smile lit up his entire face, and he kissed you sweetly. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that,” he murmured. 

He continued kissing you slowly and lovingly before the two of you got heated again. You tugged at his shirt and he helped you peel it off. He leaned against you, and you reveled in the feeling of his skin against yours, the feel of his muscled back under your fingers.

Your breath got stuck in your throat as he kissed down your body while sliding your panties down your legs, eventually settling his face in between your legs, his mouth hovering an inch from where you needed him. 

“Az,” you groaned, twining your fingers in his hair. 

You could’ve sworn you heard a soft grunt before his mouth connected with your center and you had to bite your lip to keep from screaming. 

“We’re the only ones here, you know,” he said, eyeing you mischievously, sliding a finger into you while his mouth was occupied.

“Meaning?” you panted.

He smirked, sliding another finger into you. You gasped, your back arching off the mattress. “You don’t have to be quiet,” he said, his voice velvet. 

Before you could react, he ducked his head back down, sucking hard on your clit, while pumping his fingers in and out of you. 

You couldn’t stop the scream that erupted from you, tugging at his hair, pulling him further into you.

Laughing into your skin, he splayed his free hand over your stomach to stop your squirming and continued devouring you.

Eventually, you needed more. “Azriel?” 

“Hmm?” he hummed against you, his mouth still working.

“If you don’t take your pants off right now, I might die,” you said, your voice breathy.

He finally took his mouth off you, leaning his head back and laughing louder than you’d ever seen from him. The sound was deep, filling the room. It made your heart swell.

Sliding off the bed, his eyes laser focused on you, he said “I suppose I can’t allow that, can I?” 

He held your gaze as he slowly slid his pants off. When he was naked before you, he stalked towards you, his eyes predatory. 

You gulped, trying not to show how surprised you were at the size of him.

Azriel was smirking, more smug than you’d ever seen him. He placed his elbows on either side of your head, hovering over you. “Was there something you wanted?” he teased as you wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer, but he wouldn’t budge.

You scowled at him and he grinned. “You know what I want,” you groaned.

He cocked his head, feigning ignorance. 

“You were so much nicer before,” you mumbled, still trying and failing to pull his muscled body on top of yours. 

Leaning his lips down so they were hovering just over yours, he whispered, “I want you to say it.”

Your mouth fell open. “I can’t,” you squeaked.

He smirked. “I’m your mate. You can tell me anything.”

Sighing, you looked to the ceiling, unable to look him in the eyes. “I want you.”

“You already have me,” he said, lightly nipping at your throat. “What do you want me to do?”

“Azriel.”

He laughed lightly. “Okay, fine. I’ll just have to take a guess then.” 

Before you could respond, he slid into you, groaning as he did so. 

He leaned his forehead against yours, forcing you to look up at him. He gave you a moment to adjust to him, saying “Did I guess correctly?”

Biting your lip, you nodded and he grinned. 

“Ready for more?”

You groaned in response, unable to speak.

Slowly, he started moving in and out of you. The two of you moaned in unison.

He groaned, “You feel --”

“So good,” you finished, and he let out a breathy laugh, moving his hips faster. 

Azriel was gazing at you with so much love and affection as he was moving in and out of you, you could barely breathe. You placed your hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. He smiled against your mouth, his breathing ragged. 

You couldn’t believe you had eternity to do this with your mate. 

---

Azriel did not leave your bedroom that day. Frankly, he never wanted to leave it again.

He knew he probably could’ve kept going long into the night, but he could tell that you needed a break, so the two of you had settled against the pillows. You were now asleep, your head on his chest, your fingers lightly gripping his waist. 

His heart swelled as he lightly ran his fingers through your hair, savoring the feeling of being in love and having you close to him. 

He never wanted to let go.