#EVEN THO HES TRYING NOT TO THINK ABT THAT/FOCUSING ON OTHER THINGS

[milkbreadtoast]

twsb liveblog // got to ch 20 again and i feel fucking insaneEEEEE

THESE 2 SCENES FROM CH 15 AND CH 20...... 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 AAUUUUGHHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

(ch 15)

(ch 20:)

[dutybcrne]

From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.

Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.

[braxlrose]

Can ya like make nsfw/sfw hc about Tom?

(Btw i luv ya🫶)

Like I did with Bill, I think I'm just gonna do sfw hcs rn cause I'm tired but I will get to the nsfw 😈

sfw headcanons for Tom Kaulitz

You and tom were bestfriends when you were kids, you were always hanging out with him and bill whenever you could (considering they were your only friends before gustav and georg came around)

You and tom got into trouble ALL THE TIME

Sometimes with Bill but other times tom thought some of the stuff you did would be too "hardcore" (his words) for bill, so you two would go and do stuff

One time you and him pulled the fire alarm at school and poor Bill happened to be walking by just as you two ran out 😭 you guys felt so bad he was the one who got in trouble

His mom LOVES you so much, yk when you can't find your friends and you go downstairs and they're just talking shit w/ your mom 💀 that's you and their mom

You two would practice guitars all the time and even got matching stickers to put on the guitars

When you guys were little kids, you, bill and tom would play hide and seek and tom would always be yelling "I'm not ready yet!!" LIKE BRO, it literally says "ready or not, here I come!" 🙄

He steals a shit ton of your food

Like you'll just walk into your house and he's standing in the kitchen eating your food 💀

You two would smoke in the back of the school w/ bill and listen to music and you'd always end up laying your cheek on his shoulder

Now I think we all know tom likes girls, but if any of the girls who was flirting w/ him disrespected you, he would just laugh in their face.

Like one of the girls said "it's either me or y/n. Your choice." He just stood there like 💀 who do you think I'm choosing TF?

He's a fucking asshole so whenever yall went swimming he would splash water at you, or go and swim under water and grab your legs to freak you out

And he's always laughing his ass off when you scream after he does that 😐

He's a bitch fr

also for "some reason" he always hated when guys flirted w/ you

I wonder why 😐🤔

so whenever any guy came up to you, he would automatically come behind you and put his arm around your shoulders or wrapped around your waist or on your hips LIKE BRUH UR 13 WTF ARE U DOING

He somehow makes the guy leave w/o even calling himself your boyfriend (bc he's not) and he does this basically so you can't get mad at because "didn't even do anything"

TOLD YALL HES AN ASSHOLE OH MY GOD (still love him tho)

You guys watch movies together ALL THE TIME

Of course bill joins you guys too sometimes

But other times he has "other things to do" according to tom 🤨 so you guys end up watching movies together

YOU GUYS HE DOES THE THING WHERE YOU YAWN AND STRETCH YOUR ARMS OUT AND THEN PUT YOUR ARM OVER THE OTHER PERSONS SHOULDERS

istg that's in like every single American 80s movie

He thinks he's so slick abt it too

NEWS FLASH

He's not. Like at all.

It's cute though

After a while it starts to get super obvious he likes you

He doesn't flirt with girls as much and focuses his attention and flirtiness towards you, and he gets you little things that you like because "that's what friends do for eachother"

If you try and bring up that he likes you, he will deny the fuck out of it. You're his best friend and honestly he hates that he feels this way bc he doesn't want to ruin anything.

Little does his dumbass know that you like him too 💀

So one night when he comes to your window and knocks on it you go to open it and see him.

Apparently he wants to go swimming.

Which you deny because it's freezing cold water and night time (super scary, yall I'm like terrified of the dark if you didn't know)

But eventually he convinces you and you sneak out w/ him

And thats when he confessed to you, you guys were laughing and splashing around in the freezing water when he finally said something and yall finally became a thing

Thank god, because everybody was getting sick of the tension.

Once you guys start dating, oh.my.god.

You guys are making out all the time and at school he always has his arm wrapped around you, possessive mfckr 💀

This just increases as you guys get older too

And since you're his bestfriend, he doesn't treat you like he would treat any other girl. He likes you so much and doesn't want to ruin the friendship either.

If you're in the band, he's touching you whenever he can, especially on stage (even though there's only like 10 ppl there)

As he gets older, like I said before, it gets worse

Once Monsun came out and you guys started getting the fame, he made sure EVERYONE knew he was with you

He would wrap his arms around you on stage or practically shove his tongue down your throat in between songs (if you're in the band)

If you're not in the band, he talks about you in basically every single interview

He finds a way to add you into the conversation

His cuddles are literally the best

He's always the big spoon, but he loves holding you.

If you're in the band, he always has you sitting on his lap, or if you're on the tour bus he let's you lay on top of him and sleep.

He also LOVES seeing you in his clotheses

They're giant on you and he thinks you look adorable (SIZE KINK YALL, but that's for the next post)

He loves it when you're just sleeping in one of his giant t shirs and just some underwear, or no underwear 😉

Sometimes you get insecure when he flirts with girls at a meet and greet but he always reassures you that he never meant to make you feel that way and tries to cool it down

I know some of you guys think he would do this, but I honestly don't think tom is a cheater

Yeah maybe he would ghost girls or do some other shit but I don't see him as someone who would cheat on a girl

Especially one he loves so much, so you never have to worry

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED TY FOR THE REQUESTS, ILL DO THE NSFW SOON

OMG I FORGOT MY TAGLIST AGAIN SO SORRY

@hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes

[sun-stricken]

Don’t have to answer if it’s not your style, but headcannons for overprotective dragon slayers to new demon slayer gray?

Random person: you’re all dragon slayers?

Slayers: yeah, why?

Random person points to gray: why’s he here?

Slayers: he’s adopted

anon you have no idea how much i love you for asking this, ive been waiting for an excuse to do this, i am a SLUT for anyone and anything being overprotective of Gray

i don’t believe in canon or timelines so use ur imagination

i like to think of Gray as person practically everybody ends up really liking, and a total cat magnet.

And dragon slayers r just big cats. So Gray already had close friendships with them

so when they realized ‘holy shit hes like us now’ their protective instincts went in overdrive

Natsu, Wendy, & Sting didnt even try to hide it; constantly trying to make sure hes comfortable and felt safe and didnt sit alone confused and scared by all these new things he has to deal with

Natsu definitely drags him onto impromptu jobs and fishing trips with Happy, in an effort to get away from people, or just so they can spend time together, the reason is unclear

i think dragon slayers as a whole are like violently touch starved, and thats what Sting focused on mostly.

he would drape himself over Gray when he felt like the other needed or wanted it but wouldnt ask

it helped Gray get more comfortable for sure

Wendy, as a healer and friend, tried to give him every piece of advice she knew, offering remedy after remedy to help ease him into his now heightened senses

Gray tried to explain to them once that his abilities are fairly different from theirs, yes he has heightened senses, but his instincts and needs were a hell of a lot different than theirs; that only spurred them on more, making them try to research everywhere they could about demon slayers

Rogue & Gajeel were more subtle with it (not by much tho), they understood when needed it quiet, when he just wanted company without the talk

If Gray was having a hard time, whether or not it was bc of his slayer magic, Rogue would offer up Frosch and sit with him, offering silence or white noise. whatever he needed

Gajeel probably thought he was subtle but he absolutely was not, like asking Gray if he wants to run errands with him when places theyre at get too sensorially intense

he tried to ask Levy about everything she knew abt demon slayers without being too obvious, when she kept sending him knowing glances he just asked (very resigned) for some books on the matter.

there was surprisingly little

But he made do and probably studied every piece of literature there was on the matter

The others probably found out and teased him even tho they did the same thing (they also probs asked him to drop a list of books for them)

Now, Laxus really was subtle

telling Gray to go home when he was visibly pushing himself

talking about his new sound canceling headphones and then conveniently leaving them near Gray

or little compliments abt how his new magic is coming along, quiet support type shit

also staring someone down to get them to shut up if they’re being too much

i feel like they turned from ‘one of our own’ protective to overprotective when they realized ppl werent as accepting of demon slayers as they were with dragon slayers

Most ppl exposure to slayer magic is limited to dragon slayers, who refer to themselves as dragons. so when a demon slayer pops up, the correlation isn’t pretty, and their actions are even worse

While Gray understands people must just scared or confused, so he doesnt blame them; he has a hoard of extremely protective dragons who think differently

Wendy had to be physically restrained by multiple people after she heard people calling Gray a monster

Natsu genuinely considered burning alive someone who refused to pay Gray after he finished up a job

Gray definitely now had scary dog privileges, the dog being every single dragon slayer he knows

Laxus zapping people who so much as look at Gray wrong, or frying whatever electronic (ik its lacrimas but work with me) device they have.

or both

Them all hyping up (in their own ways) Grays physical demon features when they start showing up

Post joint guild party at Sabertooth: some guy talking shit abt how Fairy Tail could allow a demon into their ranks, how he is gonna hurt someone. They are now guildless and only eating through a straw and a face not even a mother could love

Someone at an event giving Gray a backhanded compliment and immediately getting death stares mixed with a violent increase of magic in the air that would make the gods shudder

Remember when i said Grays a cat magnet? its not just the dragon slayers who adore him, its their exceeds too

if u asked them to list their favorite people, Gray is in the top 5 for all of them

im stealing another hc from someone and saying Gray fosters cats, and Happy may or may not of gotten jealous once or twice over the pets and scratches that were supposed to be his

If Rogue loses Frosch and Gray happens to be in town 70% they’re probs together

The incorrect quote u put is so canon in this universe btw

Gray “Honorary Dragon Slayer” Fullbuster

i have so many more but neither of us are prepared yet

[judeswhore]

imagine like jude’s showing u around birmingham and hes meeting up w some old friends at a club and ofc tells u to come along as well, but when u get there his group of friends including his ex (bc thehre all in the same friend group) is there and he didn’t think she wld be. so he doesn’t rly know what to say to her bc he hasn’t spoken to her in so long and he’s just “being friendly”. but the second u saw her interact w jude u could tell they had something going on in the past even tho he hadn’t rly told u abt her bc he didn’t think it was necessary. and jude and his ex are talking quite a bit while ur talking with some other girl and we know that jude’s friendliness may come off as flirting. so ur just like eyeing them the whole time and ur kinda down and jude notices and asks u if ur doing okay. and u just smile and nod not wanting to tell him right there but he’s not buying it so he excuses u guys for a min to talk, holding ur hand and leading the two of u away. and u guys end up leaving a lil early and just talk for a while in the car and jude reassures u that their relationship is way in the past and that they ended things for a reason. saying u don’t have to worry saying how much he loves u and giving u sm kisses saying he’s not going anywhere

he sees from the corner of his eye that ur kinda moody and pouty but ur trying so hard not to show bc he knows u don’t wna ruin anyone’s night but he can’t stand and let his girl be all upset. so he’s telling his ex “look, it was nice seeing u again but my girls over there and i think we’re gna head off” and he doesn’t even wait for a reply just makes his way towards u and ushers u into a more quiet area. he’s trying to get u to tell him what’s wrong but ur smiling and telling him ur fine and that he should go catch up w everyone but he’s all “no can we go home? m’not feeling it anymore” and tells u he’ll buy takeaway for when u get home. but ur a little quiet in the car and he’s getting a bit worried so he’s parking up somewhere and asking u to tell him what’s wrong. it’d take a while but you’d eventually tell him that his ex was clearly flirting and giving him the eyes and he wasn’t really shutting her down and u felt a little weird in a room w her when she was so clearly into him still. he’s just smiling all soft and cupping ur cheeks and being “silly girl, how can u even think with u in a room i’d be focused on someone else. the whole time she was talking i was thinking abt coming back to u” and he’s telling u whether she flirted or not he’s not interested bc ur all he wants, is so reassuring that it’s over and they broke up for a reason and he hasn’t even thought abt her in so long that he completely forgot she’d even be there. just is so soft with u and gives u so many kisses bc he wants u to know how important u are to him and how his ex doesn’t matter at all

[ohnotagainnikole]

I told you I'll share some hcs, so here they are for HLVRAI !! Aaaand sorry for any mistakes, english isn't my first language

• sunkist & benry actually can communicate through black mesa sweet voice, and so they often do! Literally have whole conversations & sometimes Tommy could see them talking abt stuff. Benry loves sunkist.

• coomer the only one who bubby can be less aggressive with. And, considering this aggression comes from not knowing how to use the knowledges about human communication in practice, coomer is always happy to help bubby be more chill about things and tell him where to act in that way or another. 

• Darnold LOVES music and listens to it almost non stop, but he especially incapable of doing experiments without some background sounds. He's also very focused when working so one can easily scare him for he just unaware of anything besides potions at these moments. 

• Therefore when tommy's helping him he practically forced to listen to darnolds fav album of the week. But he actually likes it! He doesn't really listen to much music himself but through darnolds playlists he finds something for himself too! 

• they also dance together sometimes! 

• benrey can shapeshift but can't change some aspects of his appearance as: sharp teeth & nails, yellow, slightly glowing in the dark eyes & skin tone. 

• his eyes can work as cat's do! So in the dark they're slightly glowing (tho in their own, not because of some light source or something) & pupils are becoming bigger if he's looking at dark areas and smaller – if lookinng at lighten ones. 

• Tommy likes reading Wikipedia. Like some people read news at mornings? Tommys doing this but with Wikipedia articles. 

• coomer and bubby could be friends even when bubby was still locked in the tube. They talked from time to time, when other scientists weren't around to suspect something, and gradually became really good friends. One time bubby decided to open to coomer his plan to escape and honestly was afraid that he will lost his friend and he will tell others. But, to his surprise, though he hoped on such result, harold said he will gladly help bubby. So he did. He took care of most things – bubby couldn't really do much sitting in a tube – and finally his friend was free. 

• sometimes benrey is just not feeling like talking so he's using sweet voice. The problem is no one really can understand it. Besides Tommy. So he often either trying to translate benreys sweet voice to others or keeping him company and listening whatever he's singing. 

• considering that Tommy and benrey are friends, and in my head they are even BEST friends, I like to think that benrey teaches tommy to understand sweet voice. 

• considering coomer is a cyborg, he's eye slightly glow with green. They also change to red when he's in «killing mode».

(I wrote these uhhhh year or uhm around two years back already)

[zukkacore]

Imo the new PJO shows greatest strength is definitely Riordon’s craft maturing since the lightning thief in terms of…. Thematic coherence?

I think PJO has always been fairly thematically coherent & impactful in its messaging but especially at first the books feels much more like fairly lighthearted action adventure road trip narratives that are extremely episodic and more focused on being entertaining than having something To Say. Which, they’re books for middle schoolers, I think an “adventure road trip with some unserious monster slaying” is a perfectly serviceable concept and in execution riordan is admirably gifted in that his writing can be entertaining for both the primary demographic kids but also adults.

But they’re not books that just suddenly decided to half-heartedly have a theme (unlike other kids fantasy from the period I don’t dare namedrop lmao), because of all the foreshadowing and the motivations behind the antagonists (one antagonist in particular), it’s clear he probably had a thematic direction for the series, even if I don’t know how planned the initial 5 book run was. I really do admire what the book has to say abt bad systems that are set up to leave certain folks behind, and what parents owe to their children, & abt how easy it is to fall for charismatic leaders promising for a return to glorious prelapsarian past instead of trying to provide real solutions.

In the series, what I’ve really been enjoying is how every interaction and monster doesn’t just feel episodic, each monster feels like a facet that is part of the central thesis regarding the gods & their relationship to their children. I think the writing strength does a lot of heavy lifting because while overall I think the show is pretty solid, I do have a few critiques.

Mainly one of the frustrating things probably has something to do with budgeting. Scenes that are very thrilling and action driven in the book are truncated & often replaced with a lot of kinda slow oddly paced walk-&-talk scenes. Probably bc that’s much cheaper to shoot. Riordan himself seems to be fairly transparent about the changes he’s made in adaptation due to those limitations.

The effects for tv show cgi are not perfect but pretty impressive (I’ll reiterate, for tv cgi, the bar is on the floor….) but there’s a weird emptiness or sterile quality that makes the world feel not so lived in. Idk I think this was the most apparent to me in the casino episode, which I know riordan hates the movie & we joke abt the poker face scene but I was honestly kinda bewildered at how lifeless and boring they made the intentionally enticing distraction of the lotus casino seem. I get there can’t be gambling, but maybe an arcade? A buffet? Something?

I sound like I’m really going in on the show but I’m really not, I’ve been really enjoying the adaptation so far. The flaws are not show-ruining but I do think they culminate in a result that struggles w pacing & lacks the propulsive energetic quality of the books. Which, adaptations can be different, but to me that quality was always a strength of the series that imo I would’ve prioritized in adaptation. What saves some of the problems for me is that even tho a lot content is kinda delivered in this weird inert way of the actors doing their best to bring life to scenes where people are standing around stiffly and exchanging dialogue, the content itself is really good. His knowledge of his own characters & their dynamics, their desires, their place in the narrative, is so clear. The emphasis placed on Sally Jackson in particular & her influence on Percy & his values is a great additive element to the show. Again, the thematic coherence that has evolved since the lightning thief is in full display. For example, before last nights episode, I was actually saying to my mom that I hoped they would cut the procrustes water bed scene bc that chapter always felt weirdly fillery and goofy in its tone, but it was integrated in such an organic way that I really liked it!

I’ve been saying for like a decade that I thought PJO’s monster of the week episodic structure would make a better show than movie, and like. All im saying is that being apollo cursed with the gift of prophecy isn’t always a bad thing

[uriekukistan]

choso and/or megumi? :)

im so. i just spent so long typing this out only for the page to crash and delete everything i said. why does tumblr HATE ME anyway thank you for the ask i’ll try to remember everything i said the first time 😭

choso!!

favorite thing about them: his relationship with itadori is so cute! such a good brother! his facial expressions are so cute and silly! literally found out itadori was his brother and went “okay i’ll die for u now”

least favorite thing about them: the fact that they robbed him of his sick shoes in the anime. maybe something else will come up in the future but for now that’s it

favorite line: i got two! *in a life or death situation* can u just call me onii chan like once please please please please (paraphrasing), *facing kenjaku after finding out that they’re his dad and yuuji’s mom* “hey little bros look at this im gonna kill our parent

brOTP: gotta go w yuuji since they are in fact bros. his relationship w mahito is so silly to me tho, and i’d love to see him interact with todo!

OTP: i dont really have one. rn i think he’s too focused on his brothers to think abt that

nOTP: its not a no for me per se just that i think choso and yuki are very one sided. yuki clearly likes him but he’s too focused on yuuji rn

random headcanon: i can see him having a long skincare routine with a fluffy hairband

unpopular opinion: i think he is frequently mischaracterized in the name of fitting ppl’s sexual fantasies about him. ofc im all for having fun but i noticed it does impact broader perceptions of his character sometimes. could say this about any jjk man tho.

song i associate with them: mmmm maybe sunflower by post malone, don’t have a reason for it buy yea

favorite picture of them: have two

MEGUMIIIII

favorite thing about them: he is me i am him we are the same. realistic depiction of what it is like to be abandoned by your parental figure and then be told you’re “special” for some reason and now too much is expected of you but you never wanted this in the first place. i could raise him so well let me adopt him. I Will Take Care Of Him.

least favorite thing about them: can’t. that’s my son.

favorite line: soooo many but i think about “so start by saving me itadori” DAILY. hourly even.

brOTP: love his relationship with kugisaki. would love to see him with yuuta more for purely self indulgent reasons that are not related to my dancers au….

OTP: obviously gotta go with ITAFUSHI i could talk abt them for hours. a brain virus fr they’re everything to me.

nOTP: 🧑‍💻 megumi & sukuna, megumi & toji, megumi & gojo, megumi & mai, etc. i try not to yuck other ppls yum but uh. i couldn’t even decide which of these was worst.

random headcanon: uhhh this ones a sad one, but i think before gojo came along, he and his sister were starving (compared to other characters shown as kids he looks much bonier), so even into adulthood, he has a hard time gaining weight from the effects of childhood malnutrition and as a result, is a bit less physically strong than he could potentially be (still very strong tho)

unpopular opinion: you already know what im gonna say. most overhated character in jjk. yall need to get off his back before i get violent im so serious rn everything he does is a perfectly valid reaction to the trauma he’s been through since he was literally a toddler

song i associate with them: i got so many…recently been thinking of dreams of losing teeth by suave punk & moon i already know by mount eerie the most

favorite picture of them: soo many…unhinged megumi vs pocket sized gumi i cant pick

[sapphire-weapon]

Hi again! I'm the RE6 anon. Thank you so much for providing such a lengthy and detailed explanation; I really appreciate it. And as expected you're totally right and you schooled me lol that's why I came to you anyway. I have to say I've had those thoughts for a while, Aeon giving married couple vibes in RE6 for a while now, partly due to popular opinion in the fandom and also because I watched Damnation before playing RE6 a few months back, so I do admit I went into the game with my Aeon glasses on lol BUT sth about it just felt wrong to me, like I wasn't analyzing this the right way, and you filled in the gaps perfectly.

Looking back at it, Damnation has this playful, intimate undercurrent between Leon and Ada, and it's all fun and games but then here comes that ending omg. It's so depressing. You have Ada being Ada on one side and Leon drowning his sorrows on the other. But instead of being like "ok this is the major conflict between them, he knows she's out there doing mercenary stuff but he doesnt seem to care but he's also tired of this life and Ada perpetuates it with her actions SO WHY ISN'T HE DOING STH ABT IT, WHEN IS HE GONNA STOP BEING SO FUCKING STUPID???", I went into RE6 focusing on the rest of their interactions, the flirting, that night, the game they always play. But like I said, it felt wrong. So I guess I should've listened to my gut.

Bc even when I was playing and trying to be all like uwu look how Leon's standing up for her, I always went back to the Damnation ending in my mind. Like nothing had changed since then. The conflict reached a boiling point, and Leon was even more fucking stupid. And there was another little voice in my head saying yeah of course he wants to save her, it's Leon, he wants to save everyone, and this is Ada of all people, he really cares about her... but where does it go from there? Does he trust her? like 100% trust her? He's doing the most for her but does he ever stop to wonder what she did to get into this mess? does he know her at all? And the answer was immediately fuck no. But I was so used to the fandom opinion and the Aeon dynamic, so used on focusing on the big shiny things when it came to them, that I thought those were the only things that mattered. I was honestly holding onto Aeon as hard as Leon was lmao. But when Ada sends him the message I was like oh ok she really doesn't give a fuck kfjdjd and I felt like a sense of closure bc Leon seems very resolute after that.

Still, I focused on him having her number, her calling him hun, him saving her, Helena implying he will see her again, big shiny things like that, so that's why I was unsure.

Those doubts wouldn't leave my mind tho, and I know nothing is accidental in writing, so that's why I thought I'd bring it up to you bc you just know your stuff.

Thank you so much, that was truly an eye opener 🧡

I think that part of the nuance that's lost is that, like.

Leon is also working for people who perpetuate the problem of bioterrorism. It's not like he's on one side of the fight and she's on the other. Morally, in his mind and his heart, Leon is on one side of the fight. But he can't act on that, because he's trapped by the government.

That was the whole point of his fight with Claire at the end of ID. She knows that Leon feels and thinks a certain way, and she knows that his actions are in direct opposition of those feelings and thoughts. That's the point of the "that suit doesn't suit you" line.

But there's nothing he can do about it. So when Helena gives him the opening to disappear with his legally dead status and run away with Ada, he declines not just because he realizes that he never knew Ada -- but also because nothing in his life would change if he did. He'd still be on "the wrong side" of things. That's another part of the reason he asks "Why are you helping us?"

So like. What we really see at the end of Damnation is Leon and Ada's reactions to fighting the same fight. Ada's thriving and happy to live a life on silk sheets stuffed with money. Leon can't cope with what he's doing, morally. Ada has a choice. Leon doesn't. And so, at the end of RE6, when he's given a choice, he makes sure he makes the one that actually does some good. He can still save Helena if he stays, but running off with Ada would just keep him trapped in place while stripping him of what little power he does have.

And then he won't be able to save anybody.

But when people lose sight of the broader picture of Leon's character because they're so laser-focused on Ada, they miss all of this.

[actualbird]

analysis: SSR Under The Milky Way, luke pearce, and dichotomies that make him a wonderfully contradictory mess of a character and make this love story one i really adore

(wow, thats a mouthful of a title. cuz this is a mouthful of a post)

wc: 2.7k

obligatory disclaimer that these are just my own thoughts and interpretations. spoilers for up to luke's personal story 4, his anniv card obviously, and other cards here and there too

-

luke is a mess

hes Such a Mess. i dont mean this in the "physical space organization" tho that is hilariously canon (pls whenever we're in the 2nd floor of his building i cant stop focusing on the papers on the floor, one of them literally under the leg of the table, MY MAN PICK UP UR FILES JHSDVFKJSDH), but i mean it in the emotional sense. and i also mean it so lovingly, cuz it's among the many things i love abt his character. hes so messy, he has so many character traits that i'd classify as flaws and faults that make him interesting to endlessly rotate in my brain, hes SUCH A MESS IN SO MANY WAYS and he even says this outright in his personal story 3 as a general statement

and after i read his personal story 4 and then his anniv card, his mess was at the forefront of my brain because it ultimately made his anniv card So Satisfying in terms of scratching certain story itches ive got, in terms of addressing his emotional messiness thru the crux of his romantic relationship with mc

and i'll get to that in different portions of this post. but first, i wanna lay down one by one what causes his mess; dichotomies in how he thinks and how mc acts as the other side as the narrative foil, and how all this adds up to a love story i really, really love

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inevitability vs. hope

i’ll start with the most obvious one. ever since luke’s personal story 1 allllll the way up to this anniv card, the inevitability of his illness and his limited lifespan prognosis looms over and informs the decisions he makes. which, yknow, makes sense. thats a Heavy Thing to have to deal with, and luke for a large amount of his story doesnt want this to be anybody else’s problem but his exactly Because it’s heavy. it’s sad and upsetting and causes worry, and ever since luke was a kid, he was already beginning to harbor a guilt for hurting other people or bringing bad upon their lives (mentioned and shown in SSR Shape Of You)

even after personal story 4—after he’s made the decision to tell mc the whole truth—he is still convinced of this inevitability. hes so convinced that he sent the letter and skedaddled elsewhere to give mc time and space to think it all through without being clouded by the heat of the moment.

hes so convinced that once mc confesses back to him, he argues with her (sidenote: my GOD getchu a love interest who, in the Confession Card, is literally trying so hard to get the main character to pick ANYBODY BUT HIM because he thinks it’d hurt less. my heart aches SO MUCH). he throws the inevitability of his death in her face, as if to scare her away.  

while the whole inevitability thing is so obvious in luke like, Everywhere in his thoughts and stories, i also realized it’s subliminally communicated through even the settings and symbols that are linked to him.

luke runs an antique shop, he’s into photography and takes pictures as memories, he’s got his treasure box filled with things from the past, he’s Always bringing up fond anecdotes of his and mc’s childhood: all of these are things have the concept of the passage of time intrinsic to them, and time passing to luke is something that brings his inevitability closer and closer. so all these symbols implying time are also focused on the past specifically, when things were happier because he’s sure his future can only cause pain. 

and mc, of course, is the foil to inevitability. first, she focuses on a portion of time that isnt past or future: the present.

in luke’s personal story 4 when aaron not so subtly grills her about “dangerous professions” of somebody she loves, she says this:

and then when you pick the second choice here in the anniv card (which i did), she says the following lines

while there’s still time, she says.

this sentiment from mc doesnt just crop up here. cherishing the present is something she brings up many times across several stories (off the top of my head: SR Radiant Sunlight and luke’s personal story 2 during that whole story with Zero) and it’s clear that to her, yes, the past and the future are important, the former being a time none of them can return to and the latter being filled with uncertainty, but now matters so much as well. maybe it matters even more, taking into account how uncertain tomorrow will be.

the second thing mc brings to face luke’s inevitability shtick is related to uncertainty: hope.

luke’s prognosis is dire, but as long as he’s alive now in the present, theres still a chance. theres still hope. going back to that scene in luke’s personal story 4 where aaron is grilling mc, she says:

and then immediately after this she cites wedding vows which luke secretly overhears outside still holding the fucking kettle, oh my GOD, i CANNOT TAKE THESE TWO…

back on topic tho, this bit shows that mc’s view of the uncertainty of a future with a lover in constant danger (and “constant danger” in this specific scene is in regards to luke’s job, yeah, but also has pretty obvious parallels to his illness as well: pain can and will happen) skews towards something more balanced than luke’s concept of inevitability. her view is more of like…we can’t ever be sure. and that doesn’t just make space for pain, but it makes space for hope too. 

and this view isnt only for his illness to be treated, but for his and mc’s relationship as well. 

which brings me to this line, the line that Broke Me and also made me think “OKAY EVERYBODY, PACK IT UP, GO HOME, THE WINNER OF BEST CONFESSION IS NONE OF THE BOYS, IT’S ACTUALLY MC!!!” this is what she says:

i know, it seems simple at first but listen. Listen. this is….so good and so perfect for them. this line has two key parts, the verb and the subjects, and i first wanna talk about the verb: believe. 

belief is not rooted on things that are sure. believing in something, anything, is acknowledging there are things that cant be controlled or fully known but taking that chance anyway. belief is faith, belief is hope, and these things as a cornerstone for love is so important to luke/mc cuz it shows how much they matter to each other and that uncertainties arent a dealbreaker but a call to hope and believe and love. mc believes and pleads luke to believe too, believe in her and in them together

which now brings me to the next dichotomy

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luke vs. mc

luke, when bringing up his fear of inevitable grief hurting mc, words his feelings in a very particular way. in the anniv card, he says

worded another way, this could go “i could follow my heart, but at the cost of her happiness.”

this is what he thinks the price of his happiness is: mc’s own. and it’s indicative of something i noticed about luke wayyy back in lost gold, that he has the habit of pitting him and mc against each other, particularly his desires against mc’s emotions. 

if he is to indulge in what will give him joy, he will rob mc of hers. if he is to value his life, he will ruin mc’s life (actually to bring up SSR Shape Of You again (SORRY IT RLLY IS JUST SUCH A FAVE CARD OF MINE) this is taken further to the (past childhood) implication of like…if he even just exists, he will ruin mc’s life). if he “wins”, she “loses”

this kind of thinking is cuz he is still, up till now—even after he had said in personal story 4 that he said that the secrets he’s got concerns them both—not seeing himself and mc as a team. he’s seeing himself and mc as two people on different sides and only one of them can get out of this with their heart intact.

and of course, as is usual with luke pearce, he’d always rather the winner to be her. 

so now i wanna go back to mc’s line which Broke Me™. “You have to believe in me…In us.” awhile ago i was talking about the verb but now i shift to the subject. 

mc wants luke to believe in her, which is already in itself something that would hit luke emotionally. afterall, every single argument hes saying is supposedly for her own good, yet he also told her that he’d respect whatever her decision was. if he really, truly does love her, she should listen to her, trust her, and believe in her. going further, she wants him to believe in her and him together. 

because thats what a relationship is supposed to be, even a platonic one and doubly so for a romantic one. the people are still individuals, yes, but theyre not on different teams, theyre not supposed to be with one more important than the other, theyre supposed to be side by side as equals, together. 

in the verb and subjects of “You have to believe in me…In us.”, mc asks luke to rethink inevitability and indulge in faith, she asks him get rid of the divide he’s put between them that says both of them being happy is impossible. 

and in response to this, luke says “...I do.”

cue kiss scene of the anniv card. of course, the crowd cheers, crowd goes wild (the crowd is me) as they kiss. it is so SO satisfying because these two things that luke has struggled with are met with an equal and kinder force coming from mc. the buildup is sublime and crests towards this moment and it is so sweet and tender and amazing.

and then luke’s self-deprecation busts through the wall again. which brings me to the last dichotomy 

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“how can i ask anyone to love me” vs. “when all i do is beg to be left alone”

the prior dichotomies all had luke as one side and mc as the other, but this last one is different. these are both two sides within only luke and i wanna talk about it not through narrative foils but through the lens of how characters change. 

but first lemme explain: the above bits in the quotation marks are lyrics from the song Left Alone by Fiona Apple and theyre really neat lyrics that succinctly articulate a super common contradictory experience, one luke lays out in full with his depressing explanation for his depressing song choice for the music box

after he says all this, mc reassures luke that she loves him and understands that his contradictory actions we are stemming not from cowardice but from the fact he loves and cares about her (and that it all just got mucked up with mixed signals and actions like this because of //gestures at aforementioned two dichotomies). and mc is right wonderful, i love that, shes wonderful!! 

but what im drawn to here though is less of the resolution of this issue but the fact that this speech from luke made me realize one thing ive adored about his character ever since the beginning: because of his love manifesting into contradictory desires, he not only goes through character development, but moments of character regression as well. he not only changes for the better, but he has moments where he backslides and relapses into old bad habits. 

“why, zak, why do you love this in a character??? are you a SADIST???” yeah, i am. but i do also have valid reasons JHVJKSHDVFS.

on a personal level, i find it’s more realistic and genuine as to how stuff happens with real people. i cant speak for everyone, but as somebody with [redacted mental bad times], seeing a character have moments of going back to bad habits feels great to me cuz in real life, the road of recovery or being a better person isnt always linear. sometimes it’s like this, it’s 1 step forward, 1 step back. 

on a story level though, character development and character regression both happening does two things:

1) it highlights just how strong the motives and rationale of the old ways are, which increases the depth of the character and their traits

like, luke has several regression moments in the anniv card alone. first one is one he mentions, he said he’d accept whatever mc’s decision was but his first instinct that he Did act on was to argue with her because it is so ingrained in him to think of her choosing him as the Wrong choice to make, the choice that will lead her to sadness, and he loves her so much that he doesnt want her to go through that. 

another smaller backslide moment is that he Runs Away in this card. remember luke’s xmas partyland card, SR A Star in the Palm? the card luke word for word tells mc “I promise that from now and forever, I’ll never try to run from you ever again.”? well, while luke explains in his anniv card his rationale for lying to mc that he’s out of town the moment he sends the letter, that rationale doesnt trump the fact that he still ran away and gave her no information on how to find him (thank u aaron for immediately fessing luke’s location, god bless)

also, he lied to her. ding ding ding, pretty sure he said he’d stop doing that!!! but him running and lying once again highlights how much he once thought his absence in mc’s life would be better for her, he has to be Not There when she reads the letter so his presence doesnt lead her into a choice thatd result in her sadness.

the second thing character development and character regression both happening does is

2) ensures change

brief segue, but for the longest time, i had always known that i personally get bored with perfect characters. characters who always succeed, who never doubt, and whose flaws (if theyve got any) are largely minimal and do not affect the story. and only when i started writing this analysis did i realize why i get bored with perfect characters: there’s nowhere else to go for them.

if theyre perfect, they wont backslide. and if theyre perfect, they cant get any better because theyve already Gotten There. theyre stagnant, and what i personally love to see in stories, among many other things, is a character changing. 

luke is so flawed and imperfect and this delights me to no end. his faults ensure theres room for him to improve, and he does. he makes promises, he changes for the better. and once hes done that, theres space for him to regress and fuck up all over again, which emphasizes his traits, beliefs, and what matters to him. 

and once hes a step back, theres space for him to take a step forward again because if theres one thing so sublimely clear about luke, it’s that he tries. he keeps on fighting even if it looks like an impossible fight, and in this card, he does this because he loves mc, because he believes in her, because he believes in them together. 

-

so. luke is a mess for so many reasons, and to me, that makes him one hell of an interesting character with some fantastic stories. it makes his and mc’s love story one that focuses on hope, togetherness, and change.

and these kinds of stories, messy ones that have room for characters to fail and also have room for characters to get better, are ones that i really love a whole bunch.

[trashcanfills]

Everyone likes to put Zhongli as this calculative, thoughtful and strategic character which is valid but I raise you absent-minded Zhongli.

He is someone who thinks a lot about stuff so much there are rare times he has his head in the clouds. I mean as an immortal he has a lot of time and patience to come up and formulate these thoughts, so I wont be surprised if he stares down going hmmm occasionally like he does in one of the cutscenes preparing the perfume offerings for the statue.

This is canon. You absolutely cannot tell me its not because otherwise I have no other way of justifiying his forgetfulness of bringing mora with him or THOSE DUMBASS DIALOGUES OF HIS THAT I HAD TO SIT AND EXPERIENCE LIKE ONE WHERE PAIMON BASHES HIM ABT NOT THINKING ABT MORA WHEN THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR SHIT AND HE GOES “If one must always consider Mora before acting, then in all things one is bounded by Mora”

like bitch no shit but when it comes to buying stuff uhhh u are SUPPOSED to u know COMPENSATE them proper while keeping to your limit? Oh wait u have no limit because u can make mora as a god wait except U ARENT A GOD NO MORE U JUST FUCKING RETIRED AND ARE BOUND BY MORTAL PROBLEMS AKA MONEY PROBLEMS. HOW DO U NOT REALISE THIS WHEN U THOUGHT OF RETIRING?? I understand if this is because he doesnt understand mortal affairs but like bruh u CREATED the damn currency for them to use in the first placE.

Except no because after paimon gets understandably confused by what hes fucking sayin THIS FUCKER CONTINUES ON WITH “All Mora is currency but not all currency is Mora.” Like uhhh duh no shit why the fuck are u bringing this up all of a sudden we are talking abt your money wasting issue NOT PONDERING ABT THE EXISTENCE OF MONEY ITSELF oh my fucking god. And of course paimon the poor thing is just more confusion and goes “Is this how the rich live???”

No darling trust me even the rich have fucking awareness of money and spending it. Its just that this dude is on a completely higher level aka a god he doesnt have to consider money. Oh wait but hes RETIRED. As a MORTAL. And you think a smart fucker would actually be prepared for that or ask for help with that earlier on.

I shit you not as much as I greatly admire the wealth of knowledge Zhongli has, he is also annoyingly longwinded and beating abt the bush with his dialogue at times which makes me think hes not always like…focused on the matter at hand. Head up in the clouds kinda thing. To be fair I am also like that lol but at least I try to explain my thought process to ppl prob because I learn to uhh communicate properly coughcough.

Then at some point when paimon goes quick zhongli use your high society trivia knowledge to fix this contraption!! And zhongli responds with “hmm you seem to think of me as some sort of bourgeois parasite whose only utility lies in providing quaint pieces of trivia on demand.”

Yes sir that’s exactly how you have appeared to us so far. How else am I supposed to see you.

Hence cultured Zhongli but also dumbass Zhongli. Dear god. As much as I like this character he also frustrates me at times with what he says at times cus HE AINT GETTING TO THE FUCKING POINT IN ANSWERING ME, even tho I can relate to his character a lot. Oh wait is this how my siblings felt when talking to me?? Ok I understand their pain now.

Ok thanks for listening to my rant TedTalk lmao have fun incorporating absentminded zhongli in yall headcanons or sth.

[childeproof]

( some ) of my selfships as mlp species: a definitive list.

sources: i am autistic, i have liked mlp since i came out the womb, i have 5/6 of the main six as christmas inflatables ( i cannot find a fucking rarity one ), + lauren faust herself told me this list was swagger.

i encourage you all to do this with your selfships.

— childe & sacha ; i can only see sacha as a unicorn, but childe i can see either a changeling or kelpie ( but not rlly canon kelpie, more of a sinister style with sharp teeth and a messy / flowy main & tail ). honestly leaning towards changeling though, because ( in my opinion ) i feel like he would have a strong affinity for magic and would want to try to learn about / study / use it all the time. instead of “fight me!” it’s “let’s duel!”. and, as a magic focused changeling, i think he would use his wings a lot less, so maybe they’d be smaller in size? things 2 think about. but anyways, sacha is a unicorn born in mountréal & moves to canterlot as a famed conductor. childe is a changeling in canterlot feeding off love & doing childe stuff.

— jesse & amelia ; they are both living currently in new mexicolt ( amelia moved from the califoalnia, jesse born there ). amelia is a deer pony + unicorn bc of course she fucking is. it helped her land a lot of roles tbh. her mother is a deer ( and not the like unaware deer in the series, the actually sentient ones in the comics lol ), her dad is a pegasus. her grandma is a unicorn, her great grandma was a unicorn, so that’s why amelia is a unicorn. jesse is a pegasus & a rainbow junkie. ( /hj on the rainbow junkie bit ). i think in new mexicolt amelia wld be known as like this weird but pretty creature. jesse is like “i’ve never been with a deerpony before, haha, but we can buck, ykwim?” and amelia threatens to kick him out ( they share a cottage home ).

— carmen & jamison ; jamison is a kirin. species that literally shut themselves up for years because they were scared of their own rage? yea, that’s james. i imagine she’d be actually rlly interested in helping herself not rage. she’s silly tho & is prone to like “mini raging” due to the stress of the kitchen. she wldn’t trade it for the world, she loves cooking. sometimes a little rage is good? anyways carmen is an earth pony lol and he is built like the apples ok, he is a strong stallion. I think he & pinkie shld meet..

— george & darcy & karev ; george is an earth pony ( comes from a family of hunters / trappers but chose to be a doctor ), darcy is a batpony ( hides her wings so ponies are less scared of receiving treatment from her ), and karev is a pegasus ( has seen darcy fly once but assumed she was a pegasus too, not a batpony. became a doctor because people said he couldn’t ). they have an interesting dynamic tbh. george is the first person to warm up to darcy in the hospital ( horsespital ), darcy falls for george, karev falls for darcy— it’s very messy, and neither of the stallions know that darcy is a batpony of the night. also, i think darcy wld use slightly unusual methods & wld be pretty close to zecora tbh. darcy might even be bat zebra-pony or smth, my world my rules.

— johnny & jules ; johnny earthpony jules cyborg pegasus. already spoke abt this in a post ermm

— makoto & marcelle ; tis hard.. but i think marcelle changeling & makoto is unicorn perhapsss i dunno.. subject to change :)

— sacha & neuvillette ; sacha being a unicorn is already established, but neuvillette is also a unicorn ( he is more powerful + wields ancient unicorn magic ). unicorn4unicorn, them touching horns often together.. them being silly & doing magic together / on each other.. they go to fancy canterlot operas together & such.. cuties

— havik & izana ; izana is a super pretty heaven sent earth pony ok, she literally embodies water so ofc she’s close to the earth, earth pony. i hate how ppl think earth ponies aren’t so cool, they were nerfed but guys 😭 anyways havik is a fuckass batpony or whatever. I love him lol.

— ken & allan & keith ; ken pegasus.. we all know why. Keith also pegasus. but in more of a fluttershy way, if you can believe it ( doesn’t fly often, lives on the ground, etc ) allan earth pony who lives with keith :) in their filly days ken & keith probably had flight competitions that were always like 50/50 in terms of who’s winning but keith lives on the ground now & ken refuses to admit he misses his buddy ( & that he loves him ). barbie is an alicorn also, bc ofc she is, it’s barbie?

[the1weepinqguitar]

Why am I not surprised?

[img]http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly10c.php?p1=100&p2=80&p3=56&p4=65&p5=95&p6=100&p7=81&p8=67&p9=72&p10=74[/img]

so yeah i've been thinking abt it a lot.

autism.

[warning, this may become a rant. I feel super strongly about this topic and I think I should talk about my experiences with it.]

my dad has it really bad, his social skills are absolute crap. he has severe social anxiety and hyperfixates on stuff. i love 'im tho. he's wonderful when he gets out of his shell.

my sister has it too. she has a lot of trouble making friends at school and straight up avoids other kids her age because they think she's weird. she doesn't talk unless prompted to, and even then she doesn't say much. she hums to herself and stims a lot. she was diagnosed when she was a toddler, but my dad just found out abt his.

i think im just high-functioning, because although my social skills aren't great, i can still maintain relatively positive relationships with people without them dumping me for cooler people. i hyperfixate on random things from my ever-growing hoard of cds to my musical interests. i struggle a lot in school (and have the entire time) with paying attention and staying focused in classes I don't like. I was first labelled as "gifted" in second or third grade (us schools amiright)

I have gotten reprimanded many times for this because I "don't try hard enough to focus". I get so fucking pissed when my mom tells me to just "try harder" because sometimes i just can't do it, no matter what the punishment will be if I fail. Sometimes I can't.

It's hard sometimes because I have three younger siblings and I have to watch them and play with them for hours every day. I get drained really fast and I always end up shrinking back into my room, which gets me in huge trouble because I'm the oldest and it's my responsibility.

My mom insists that nothing is wrong and refuses to let me get therapy because she feels things like my gender and whether i'm neurodivergent or not don't matter in the "real" world (she pulled me out of therapy last year because i was trying to talk to my therapist about my gender dysphoria. And yes, I had to tell my mom what we talked about during each session or else I would've gotten punished. thanks, mom.). I don't feel valid in my home. I don't feel heard.

[pronoun pins, pride flags and fidget toys are banned in my home. I kept a secret fidget cube up until recently when my mom found it and got rid of it. little does she know, i also have a secret glow-in-the-dark fidget spinner i received a couple years back]

So here I am on my Tumblr blog of all places ranting about my shitty feelings and now you have to hear all about it. I'm sorry. I ran out of people to talk to.

Feel free to chat with me, it feels nice to actually be able to feel my real feelings.

have a nice day.

-ivan

[vaugarde]

Top five anime

oh god forgetting every anime ive ever watched

5. fullmetal alchemist brotherhood/2003 (very different shows ik but i can never decide which i like more). i really love the world presented in these shows, i love the themes of how human we all are at the end of the day. i love all the ways they play with science and real life alchemy, and all the interesting things that come from it... like how do you even come up with alphonse's entire ordeal? it's so unconventional and yet it's handled near perfectly and we get all the drama and situations that come from a boy being tied to a suit of armor.

4. death note. tbh i mostly agree with what everyone else says about the show, it's super engaging and it's fun to see the game of cat and mouse that L and Light play. both of them are super interesting characters and its fun trying to figure out their plans only to be thwarted. again, it's a non conventional idea, but death note embraces the fantasy aspects really well while being more focused on the corruption of light and him trying to keep himself from getting caught. sadly tho i do have to agree with a lot of people that the latter half of the show with nate isn't nearly as good. i like the stuff that happens like light's dad dying but i just kinda missed L the entire time

3. cowboy bebop. this is a show i might have to digest some more bc it does require more thinking, and i may have to rewatch it to fully appreciate it, but i really enjoyed it! space western is a genre i've never thought about, but it's a very natural combination and I think this show really captured that. I love it's main theme of living in the present, it's kind of unlike most shows i've seen. at first i didn't appreciate not having the backstory of most of the characters since they seemed so important to the episodes, but that's kind of the point. we don't NEED to know every little detail about their pasts. because the show is about the present and how they're coping in spite of their pasts. and it works because it's unfair how these people are still suffering for what happening in their past, even despite everything they've accomplished in the show. it's a very bittersweet show and i enjoyed it. also i love edward. baby

2. trigun (i havent finished it yet though). i can't say much abt the entire thing but i LOVE all of the characters a ton. i love vash himself the most, i love silly characters that are actually extremely genuine and tragic at their core. he's got one of the most compelling backstories i've seen so far and i'm excited to see how his arc concludes in the show. the other characters are also extremely good! i love meryl and milly a lot and how they're actually kind of more of a threat than vash, and how they have a vitriolic relationship with him but grow to genuinely care about him. wolfwood is also a good character to pair up with vash in a lot of episodes because he's got different ideals, and also the gun cross makes me laugh. idk i love the world and these characters and im excited to finish the show.

puella magi madoka magica. im aware that on its own, its probably not nearly as good as these other shows, but at this point the show means a lot to me. I've got a lot of good memories associated with it and its kinda helped me at a time i needed it. i love all five of the main characters a lot and each of the struggles they go through. it's another show where it's world is fully utilized in every way it needs to be for the story to work. i love all the psychological horror elements and how they're presented in an almost uncanny way. the art is beautiful and the witch labrynths are fully realized. this show is so good i can't emphasize enough how dear to me it is as this point

[wendytestabrat]

why i think stan is a mild aspie

ok like ik stan was just diagnosed with aspergers as a joke and aspergers isn’t even a real disorder in south park but like i def feel like there was some truth to that diagnosis bc i think stan does have some aspie/autism tendencies. i mean even tho stan is the most social and popular of the boys or whatever you can tell he still does struggle with social cues and communication at times i think this is why everyone in stan’s life just takes advantage of him *COUGH kyle and wendy COUGH* bc he doesn’t rlly know how to set boundaries. stan’s too nice to people and just goes along with whatever idk if that’s an autism trait but i think some people with autism are like that. but i also think this is why wendy gets annoyed with stan sometimes in their relationship bc he sucks at communicating and he gets so anxious with her that he pukes. stan can just be kinda oblivious & awkward at times and sometimes he won’t even know or can’t tell that wendy is mad about some shit until it’s too late lol. like i think “cock magic” is the best example like how did stan deadass not know wendy was on the volleyball team like even cartman knew LOL. there’s that deleted scene where wendy jumps down stan’s throat for it and she tells him that she said she’s on the volleyball team a bunch of times to him but he didn’t listen & he didn’t take her hint at the beginning when she said he should show his support for the volleyball team like he thought she meant she was going to the game just to watch instead of play. also another example of stan’s obliviousness was him being the only kid in the class to not know tolkien’s name was spelled tolkien LOL. stan also gets rlly in the zone sometimes and he has his little quirks and fixations he focuses on like most people with aspergers like how stan gets rlly into board games or magic the gathering and also he really likes songwriting too and cares abt helping animals. i mean stan will go to great lengths to help animals out like in “whale whores” even when no one else gives a shit and he has to do it by himself. also remember when he got so fucking hooked on freemium gaming that he gambled away all of the family’s money? LOL i also think the reason why stan stays friends with kyle even tho he’s a shit friend is bc it’s what he’s familiar with and he just doesn’t want things to change which is how people with autism are they like their routine and familiarity hence why he got so depressed when everything was changing in the episode “ass burgers” & he didn’t know how to move on and not be friends with kyle anymore. same with how stan refuses to date a girl other than wendy and he’s always trying to make his relationship with her work. stan is also not a very emotive person which is common in aspergers, because stan usually has a blank expression on his face most of the time and it takes a lot to get him to react to shit, but then when stan is pushed to his limit and he gets angry he fucking explodes lol. stan’s also a rlly smart and rational person, fuck the people who say kyle is the most logical one bc stan is lol. you can tell stan thinks things through logically and he doesn’t like having to deal with emotions in situations. i think a lot of this can be easily debunked or explained by something else like stan’s depression or maybe he’s just a rlly aloof person. but i think it’s worth pointing out. again, stan is pretty social unlike most people with aspergers which is why if he has it i think it’s only a mild case rather than someone with severe autism. but i think stan might just be as popular as he his bc he’s just a nice person like that and he doesn’t ever try to get into beef with anyone so people like being around him. i wanna hear what ya’ll think is this something you’ve noticed too or did u just pass the whole aspergers diagnosis as a joke like the episode intended.

[doobea]

dooby ! hello mi luv hehe i hope u are doin’ vv well and hope u don’t mind if i sneak my way into ur mailbox ૮꒰ྀི⊃⸝ ⸝ ⸝⊂꒱ྀིა i saw your taggies on the sae post i tagged u in ‘n i have 2 say i need moar of your lil’ thoughts of sae ! honestly the itoshi brothers jus’ give me da vibes of sour patch kids ૮ ꒰˶ - ࡇ •˶꒱ ა first they’re sour then they’re sweet (they also have da emotional capacity of da sour patch kids i swearrr!)

hehe hello!! u can stop by my inbox anytime kayla!!

and omg yea i have a lot to say abt sae ... and i guess rin too - both brothers are so emo and grumpy but so soft at the same time... but lets focus on sae first.. i made a similar post a while back regarding my headcanons of him being a softie but let's do both a personal/relationship 'deep-ish dive'.

even tho we haven't had his background story yet i think we all kinda know that he probably didn't have the best time in spain - i think in the manga ego touched a lil bit on this that young prodigies often get ahead of themselves and place themselves on such high pedestals that they crash and burn when they're actually surrounded by pro players. and most likely happened to sae. which leads to him redoing his whole career goal and then focusing all his time on proving to others that he does belong in their world (pro football) for the next several years aboard. comes back as a totally new, edgier self and doesn't know anything but his worth in football.

and i agree that he lacks major social skills (the way he talked to the JFU officials and other pro-strikers - but i hope to god he's nice to women tho... LOL). i think he just says whatever comes to mind first?? even if those thoughts are very crude and blunt.

but when it comes to people he likes (aka i still think he cares about rin to a degree ... doesn't show it outright??) i think he definitely has harsher expectations of them. says mean things but he wants them to become better versions of themselves. he doesn't really know how to give compliments/advice like a regular person.

i mentioned this in the tags but sae isn't good w his words so i think he mainly expresses his intentions through actions. but he's going to be a bit awkward w his actions obviously. doesn't let a lot of people into his personal life, probably locks every emotion away from the people he works with, and struggles with being expressive.

starts off with longing stares across the room -> trying to time his schedule to match with yours -> 'accidentally' brushing hands -> he sneaks your favorite drink/snack on your table before you get in -> acts disinterested whenever you ask him for help but secretly celebrating inside

i see him ultimately as a gentle bully partner hehe he'll be a bit more forward about his emotions the more comfortable he gets around his partner. doesn't sugarcoat his thoughts and will just give his opinion straight there. gets a lot bolder with his actions too, and probably says the most heart-swooning lines with a straight face.

doesn't really 'plan' dates?? i feel like he's more like 'yeah we can check this place out' walks around some more and 'oh lets see whats over there' and so forth. def open to exploring new places and more of a sightseer versus an activity person (at least in my head).

and omg i do have a playlist dedicated to the guy too but here are some songs i think are so him when in a relationship: Oceans & Engines by NIKI (big big big one!!), Sugar by Brockhampton, Snow on the Beach by Taylor and Lana (i know you have this song for you and isagi in ur selfship lore hehe), Die for You by Joji, and Love me Like That by Sam Kim (i beg of u to listen and agree w me).

ok ok last bullet point but i wanna jot down what things remind me of sae (or rather types of things he'll do whether by himself or in a relationship) before i end haha - hiking/kayaking, has a mini wine cooler probably, making curated playlists for each other, goes out of his way to buy you medicine and food the moment you say you're feeling unwell, kinda cooks but also kinda sucks at it, very big on cuddles and praising you, forehead kisses/forehead bumps, also a cheek pinch type of guy, food cart >> fancy restaurants, hates arguing but doesn't really know how to resolve them without getting slightly defensive/coming off as detached, loves having deep convos with you late night until he falls asleep mid-sentence.

ok yup thats it. im normal abt him >:(