#EVERY outfit is a serve. no crumbs left. He’s eating

[fauvester]

cardassias slutty grandpa…

[slytherinbarnes]

Seasons Change [3]

iii. the summer will warm the coldest parts of your heart 

pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

word count: 3.3k

warnings: smut, language. 

summary: a mission throws you and steve together, bringing a new sort of revelation to your relationship. 

a/n: okay, yes, I know this is late, but listen, I couldn’t find my laptop amongst all the moving boxes! good news is that I did find it though, so here is seasons change part 3 (my favorite part!), one day late!!! the taglist for this series is open!

previous chapter // series masterlist // full masterlist

June 20, Rome, Italy. 

You walk out of the bathroom of your hotel room, your final belongings gathered in your arms. You dump them into your open suitcase, not bothering to organize them since you’re finally flying home again, before zipping the suitcase closed and plopping down beside it on the bed. You stare out the window of your room, admiring the Sydney skyline outside, though you’re glad to trade it for a familiar skyline in just a few short hours. 

As you stand to grab your suitcase, your phone rings, and your stomach drops with dread, already aware that this phone call is not going to be one that you like. You grab your phone from your pocket, eyes scanning the familiar number on the screen before you answer with a sigh, “Hill, this better not one of those calls.”

“It’s just recon!” You sigh again, and you can practically hear her cringe though the phone, “I know you haven't been home in months, but you’re our best agent. And you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.”

“Who gave the orders?”

“Fury.”

Not optional then. You nod once, even though she can’t see it. “Where?”

“Rome.”

Your brows lift slightly, “Italy?”

“You know any other Romes?”

You deadpan, “Yeah. Georgia, Alabama, Illinois.”

Hill lets out a short laugh, “Okay, okay, I get it, smartass. Yes, Rome, Italy.”

“Just recon, huh?”

“Just recon.”

You sigh, knowing you can’t say no if it’s from Fury. “Alright, send over the file.”

“Already done.” You can hear the smile in her voice when she adds, “Oh, and you’ll have a partner on this one.”

You groan, “You know I do better solo.”

“You’ll like this one!”

“You said that about the last one.”

“Who, Franklin?”

You hum in acknowledgement, “He talked too much. And he ate way too much garlic for someone sharing a tiny room above a church.”

Hill laughs again before she mutters, “Well, I mean it this time.”

“Who is it?”

“Can’t say. Classified.” You let out a sound of frustration, and you can hear the amusement in her voice when she reassures you. “You’ll meet him in the safe house.”

“Fine.”

“Don’t forget that you’re my favorite agent!”

“Yeah, yeah. Talk to you soon.”

-

Shield sends a Quinjet to fly you to Rome, which you suppose is the closest thing you’ll get to an apology for not getting to go home. Still, it’s better than flying commercial, so you accept the gesture, and your flight passes uneventfully, which you’re grateful for.

The safe house is close to your landing spot, so you decide to walk, thinking the fresh air will be good for you. Unfortunately, you underestimated just how hot it would be beneath the Italian sun, and by the time you arrive at the safe house, you’re sticky with sweat. You walk inside, the apartment pretty small as far as safehouses go, but you’re used to sharing close quarters with other agents, so you aren’t worried about it. You drop your bag on the floor in the living room, heading towards the kitchen and calling out as you move. “Hello? Anyone here?”

As you step into the kitchen, you find it empty, save for a note on the table, along with a small brown paper bag. There’s a delicious smell wafting towards you from the bag, buttery and warm and full of cinnamon, and when you pull it open, you see a fat cinnamon roll staring back at you. You get an idea of who your partner is before you even read the note left beside the bag.

 Went to grab a few things, be back in a bit.

-S

 You roll your eyes and mutter under your breath, “God damn it, Hill.” 

You knew you’d regret telling her about your arrangement with Steve, but she was suspicious after he called her in Japan, and she pretty much pieced it together on her own. All you did was confirm the details for her. Still, it felt nice to talk about it with someone. Not as agents, but as friends. You work so often that you don't have a lot of opportunities to get close to anyone, and besides Steve, Hill is the closest thing you have to a friend. 

You shake your head, sure that she’s laughing her ass off at HQ, before you settle into one of the chairs at the table, pulling the bag with the cinnamon roll towards you. You pull a copy of the file out of your bag, given to you by the pilot in the Quinjet, reading through it again as you eat the cinnamon roll left to you by Steve. And that’s where he finds you later, sitting at the table and popping the last bite into your mouth, and he says from the doorway, “Where does it rank on your list?”

You look up in surprise, so engrossed in the file that you didn't hear him come in, and he smiles as he walks into the room and sets two bags of groceries on the table. “So?”

You shake your head at him, not understanding. “So, what?”

“The cinnamon roll, where does it rank?”

You smile and wipe your hands clean, looking down at the crumbs scattered on the table. “Oh. Definitely not as good as my mom’s, but it’s one of the better ones I’ve had, so maybe a 7?”

Steve’s brows lift and a playful smirk settles itself on his face. “A 7? It’s at least a 9.”

“There’s isn't enough icing for it to be a 9.”

He smiles and nods, taking note of the criticism. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He starts to put the groceries away, and you stand to help him. “So you’ve read the file?”

“Simple surveillance, in and out in a few days. Intel says Alexandrei Ivanov has been scoping out tourist traps to test Hydra weapons at.”

You nod, both of you on the same page, before you ask, “So how are we gonna play this?”

Steve grabs a different file, turning to hand it to you as he grabs the last few groceries. “Newlyweds Victoria and Logan Jones. Honeymooners happily in love, hitting up all the best tourist spots and snapping plenty of pictures for their family back home.”

You feel your cheeks heat up a little as you scan the file, realizing that you’re gonna have to pretend to be married to Steve for the next few days. And everyone knows that you have to stay in your cover at all times, because you never know who’s watching. This should be fun. You take a deep breath and look up at him with a smile, feigning a confidence you don’t quite feel. “So, when do we start?”

-

It turns out that you’re starting right away. 

You freshen up from your flight and change clothes into the ones Steve brought for you, a bright yellow sundress; both of you looking incredibly average when you reveal your outfits to each other. Preparing to be tourists, you both don sunhats and grab a camera, and with your cover in place, you head to the Coliseum hand in hand, playing the part of a couple in love. 

It doesn't take long for you and Steve to spot Ivanov, as most of the Hydra operatives tend to stand out in a crowd. Steve squeezes your hand when he spots him first, and he turns to you and sweeps you in for a kiss, whispering softly against your lips, “Ivanov at your 3 o’clock.”

You feel your skin heat up with his touch, and you tell yourself that it’s the Italian sun, because you’re an operative and this is just work. But Steve seems to notice the effect he’s already having on you, because he smirks, and you repress an eye roll as you turn away and look around for Ivanov. When you spot him, you turn to your fake husband and exclaim, “Let me get your picture, love!”

You see his cheeks tinge pink, and now it’s your turn to smile, the nickname clearly something he enjoys. He passes you the camera and stands in line with Ivanov, and you point the camera at Steve, pretending to snap pictures of him, when in reality you’re capturing Ivanov in the background. Once you get the shot, you smile at Steve, waving him back over. “Oh my god babe, you look great! Come see!”

Steve walks over and checks the pictures, smiling his approval at you. “Wow, you really captured my good side!”

You lean into your cheesy role, beaming up at him. “Every side is your good side!”

“Baby, c’mere.” He pulls you in for another kiss, this one more passionate than the last, his tongue instantly slipping into your mouth. You have to work hard to remind yourself that you’re in public and this is a job, so you need to keep your composure. Every move the two of you make needs to be calculated, it needs to serve a purpose. 

Steve’s mouth moves over your jaw and down to your neck, his mouth pressing kisses and love bites into the skin there. You automatically tip your head to the side, giving him better access, and you hear him whisper against your throat, “Think you can get his phone?”

He lightly nips the side of your neck, and despite yourself you let out a soft moan, unable to hold it back. You feel Steve smile against your neck, and you clench your fists hard, pressing your nails into your palms, trying to calm yourself down again. You nudge Steve back up to your mouth and pull him close, running your tongue over his bottom lip, sinfully slow. You hear Steve’s breath hitch in his throat and you smile before whispering, “Phones are my specialty.”

You pull away from him, stepping back and smiling at his expression, Steve clearly getting into this just as much as you are. You’re slightly relieved that you aren’t the only one affected by his presence or his mouth on yours. You’ve seen each other a few times since Japan, quick flings on your way to other cities and missions, but each tryst never feels like enough. You feel yourself wanting to spend more and more time with Steve. Not just for the sex though. The sex is great, but you’re starting to enjoy just being with Steve. 

You try not to think about it too much, focusing instead on your arrangement. No strings attached, just hook ups. No feelings, no relationship. That’s it. 

You shake your head to clear your thoughts, returning to the present and your need to lift the phone off Ivanov. You carefully evaluate him; where’s he’s standing, where his phone is most likely to be on his body, what’s the best way to get it off him. And as you watch him standing near the railing, a thick crowd of tourists moving past him, you decide that the best method is to slip it from his back pocket as you move past him with the crowd. 

You blend in with the families and couples moving through the attraction, and when you get close enough to him, you deftly slide the phone from his back pocket, quickly switching it to your other hand, held out of sight. You wander over to an area with brochures and pamphlets, grabbing a few and using them to further hide the phone, before making your way back to Steve, the phone hidden in your hand. When you reach him, you give him a smile, passing the brochures and the phone to him. “Look at all these places we need to visit here! So many exciting things to see!”

Steve beams at you when he feels the weight of the phone, and he quickly slides an SD card into the phone, transferring whatever he can as he chatters away about what cafes look best and what attractions you absolutely need to see before your honeymoon is over. When the transfer process finishes, he pulls you close and whispers, “Now how do you get it back?”

“Bumping into him is best, he’s less likely to feel it sliding into his pocket that way.”

Steve smiles at you, “I have the perfect idea then.”

Your brows furrow together, wondering what he has in mind as he pulls you towards Ivanov, talking excitedly the whole way. When the two of you get close, he holds up the camera. “This looks like a good spot, babe! Let’s take a few selfies here.”

“Good idea, love.”

His eyes cut to yours, and you confirm the nickname is one he really likes as he lifts the camera and pulls you close. He snaps a few of the two of you smiling before he leans in and kisses your cheek, snapping a few more. Finally, his lips find yours, and you hear the camera snap a few more times before his arm lowers and his kiss grows more passionate. His tongue slips into your mouth again, and you feel one of his hands slide down to your ass, the phone hidden beneath his hand, pressed against your butt. 

You feel a spark of arousal as he shifts you backwards, his mouth moving to kiss your neck as he bumps into Ivanov, quickly sliding the phone back into his back pocket. Steve’s hand quickly returns to your ass, squeezing lightly as Ivanov turns to look at the two of you with disgust. “Watch where you’re going!”

“Sorry man, it’s just hard to keep my hands off her.”

Another squeeze to prove his point, and you close your eyes, steadying yourself as Ivanov retorts, “Maybe you should take her home and fuck her then.”

“Maybe I should.”

You look up and find Steve’s eyes, and the look in them is enough for you to know that he means it. You both mumble another apology to your target before Steve takes your hand and leads you through the crowd, the two of you heading back to the apartment you’re sharing. But it’s like the walk cools Steve off or something, because when you arrive back at the building, he drops your hand and steps inside, awkwardly rubbing his neck as you lock the door behind you. “Good grab back there.”

“Yeah, you too.” You shake your head, your mind too focused on his hands on you, before you amend, “I mean, thanks.”

He holds up the SD card and the camera, “I should get these sent over to Fury.”

“Uh, yeah. Of course.” You glance towards the bedroom door, thinking there’s only one thing that’s gonna cool you down at this point. “I’m gonna shower, try to wash off this sweat.”

“Enjoy it.”

You swear you can see Steve physically cringe at his response to you, and you nod once, grabbing your bag as you head into the bedroom, closing the door behind you. You move straight to the bathroom, switching the water to cool, hoping you can shock your arousal out of your system. You strip quickly and step under the cool stream, the water shocking the heat that seems to linger on your skin. Goosebumps lift on your skin, chasing away all thoughts of Steve, and when you feel calmed down enough, you switch the water warmer, intending to wash up before you get out. 

You wash your hair and body quickly, wondering if you can claim jetlag and pretend to go to sleep early to avoid any more awkward interactions with Steve. But as you stand beneath the warm water, letting it wash over you and relax you, you hear the bathroom door swing open. Confused, you turn to see who it is, surprised to see Steve striding towards you and pulling the shower door open. “Steve, what are you-”

The rest of the questions dies on your lips as he pulls you towards him, crashing his lips onto yours. His tongue slips into your mouth and you moan into his touch, hoping he won’t pull away from you this time. You tug him closer and he steps into the shower fully clothed, moving beneath the stream of warm water with you. His hands start to roam over your body, and your lips move together frantically. 

You reach up and unbutton his wet shirt, pushing it off his body and onto the shower floor with a wet sound before your hands find his pants and belt, undoing them too and pushing the fabric down to join his shirt. His boxers are the last to go, and as you nudge them down his legs and grab him, his hand slips between your legs, expertly moving against you. The two of you stand pushed together, water running over you as you bring each other to the edge, ridding yourself of the tension that’s been building all day between you. 

Steve is the first to pull away, muttering “bedroom” against your lips. You nod and reach behind you blindly to switch the water off before allowing him to lead you into the bedroom, both of you dripping water across the floor. He leads you to the bed, still wet, and you lean back into the sheets, too aroused to care. Steve follows, and he’s inside of you in seconds, both of you moaning as you climb towards your highs together. It doesn't take either of you long to reach the top, and stars explode across your vision as you tip over the edge, Steve’s name coming out of your mouth as you finish.

-

You fall asleep almost as soon as Steve rolls off of you, exhausted from traveling and spying and being with Steve. You wake a few hours later, when the moon is high in the sky, and you roll over to face Steve, only to find that he isn’t there. Curious, you slide out from beneath the sheets that Steve tucked you into, and you pull on your discarded sundress from earlier before wandering out into the living room. 

There you find Steve, sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep. You smile when you see him, wondering why he’s out here, until you see the sketchbook in his hand. You move closer to him, grabbing the book to close it and set it aside, and as you do, you spot the drawing half finished on the page. 

It’s of you, fast asleep, sprawled out on the sheets, a soft smile on your face. You flip to the page before it and find another picture; you in Japan, eating across from Steve, and the one before that is you at the holiday party a few months ago. You look at Steve in surprise, still sleeping, unaware of what you’ve seen, and you smile as you close the book and set it on the table beside him. 

You hear your phone ring in the other room, and you head back to the bedroom, scooping it from your suitcase and answering without looking at the screen. “Hello?”

“Good job in Rome. We’re running the data from the phone and already getting hits on other locations, which means we need you somewhere else.”

You wander to the doorway between the bedroom and the living room, looking out at Steve as he sleeps on the couch, and when you do, you suddenly become aware of the intimacy of all of this. The playing pretend, the cinnamon roll, the notes, the sketches, it’s a breach of your arrangement. No strings attached, no feelings. You shake your head at yourself, wondering if you’ve managed to ruin a good thing, and at the same time, Hill’s voice comes through the phone, soft and concerned. “Agent, are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry.” You look at Steve one last time before turning and heading to your suitcase, already starting to pack up. “Where do you need me?”

-

This time when Steve wakes up and looks beside him, there is no note. 

-

[s-horne]

Hi! Could you please write a ficlet where tony and Steve just got married and Steve takes tony to his mums house as a new husband, where tony officially meets Sarah, Sam, Bucky as Steve’s new husband? And they all gently tease the new married couple and make tony feel at ease? Thank you so much! xx

Maybe it was quick to have gotten married, but Steve had known it was real as soon as he’d met Tony. He had never been a believer in love at first sight until Tony had come along.

They’d met through work, at an intimidatingly large party thrown by the company’s board in order to bring all staff from every department together for the first time. They’d thrown out some trash about company relations or keeping the cogs working together as a strong team. Steve had thought it was all utter nonsense. He’d only gone for the free booze.

All the seating had been mixed and, as a result, R&D had met marketing. Steve and Tony had been introduced before the appetizers had been served and had been playing footsie by dessert. Their hands were linked during the speeches and only one out of their two hotel rooms had been used that night.

The months had flown by and before anyone realised, they had been together for a year. A wedding had seemed like the most natural thing in the world for Steve to propose next. He had known that they would be together for the rest of their lives, so the timeline didn’t matter to him.

*

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

Steve snorted as he took the exit. “You haven’t eaten enough today to be sick.”

He could feel Tony’s glare on the side of his head as Tony rolled the window down. “You’re meant to play the role of the sympathetic husband here.”

Laughing again, Steve pulled up to a stop sign. “Sorry, sweetheart. Shall we try it again?”

Tony huffed. “Moment’s passed.”

“And the nausea?”

There was a moment of silence before Tony sniffed. “Gone.”

“Good.” Steve couldn’t control his smile as he looked over to see Tony staring out of the window. He reached over and rested a hand on Tony’s thigh. “There’s nothing to be nervous of.”

Tony’s head shot round and he glared at Steve. “Nothing to be nervous of? No, of course not. Just meeting your whole family for the first–”

“Technically Sam isn’t my fa–”

“Okay, but that’s worse,” Tony snapped, the worry clear in his tone. “That’s so much worse that he isn’t actually family.”

Steve squeezed his knee tighter, rubbing his thumb in what he hoped were soothing circles. “It’s going to be fine. Mom loves you.”

“Moms don’t love me,” Tony said, “that’s just a fact.”

“Well,” Steve said, not letting the words get to him and keeping himself as the strong one, “mine does. And quite honestly, she’s the only one that matters.”

*

Something settled inside of Steve when he cut the engine outside the unimposing, red-brick house. Though it wasn’t where he’d grown up, it was still his mom’s house. It was where Sarah Rogers had moved out to when they’d passed the worst times in Steve’s childhood, when the illnesses had been battled and the poverty somehow left in the past. Steve would never know how she’d done it, but he thanked God every day.

He wasn’t homesick in New York, not by a long shot. The apartment that he and Tony had made their own was the only place he ever wanted to go back to after a long day at work, the sight of Tony sprawled out on their couch more than enough to make up for the fact that the dishes were always left piled up on the marble counters.

But there was still something about going to his mom’s house. No matter where Sarah lived, she provided a refuge. It was a safe place to escape to, a break from the hustle and bustle of the city center. Sarah herself made it that safe place and Steve couldn’t wait to give the exact same thing to Tony.

“You get the bags and I get the flowers, okay?”

Steve was pulled from his musings by Tony appearing at his side. “Sorry?”

“Unless that’ll make it look like I don’t do anything for you.” Tony bit his lip and shook his head. “I get the bags and you get the flowers – but then your mom might think that the flowers are from you instead and you laughed at me when I suggested buying them. So, I’ll take the bags and the–”

Steve cut Tony off with a soft laugh, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist and pushing him in front of Steve’s body. Holding Tony tight against his chest, Steve leant back until he was resting on the car door.

“Please calm down,” he murmured into Tony’s neck. “I love you and my mom loves you. You talk every week.”

“Of course we do,” Tony said, relaxing minutely into Steve’s hold. “But that’s just because we gossip through The Bachelor. There’s no Bachelor episode to discuss here. The season finished.”

“Thank God.” Steve laughed when Tony reached a hand back to jab him in the thigh. “Sweetheart, please. It’s going to be fine.”

Tony took a deep, shuddering breath and lifted Steve’s hand to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to the ring around his finger before freeing himself from Steve’s hold. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

“That’s the spirit, sweetheart. Exactly how to sound when faced with your in-law.” Rolling his eyes, Steve stood upright again and reached down for their suitcase. “You’re making her sound like a haunted house.”

*

When Steve snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, Tony jumped almost a mile in the air. He spun around in Steve’s embrace and smacked him on the chest, an angry flush to his cheeks.

“Asshole. You scared me.”

“Yeah,” Steve laughed, snagging one of the cookies Tony had snaffled away when Sarah had kicked them out of the kitchen, “you look really terrified.”

“Oh, shut up.” Tony’s flush darkened. “It’s stress eating.”

“Well, at least you’re finally eating,” Steve said, brushing a crumb from the corner of Tony’s mouth. Tony had been too tired to manage breakfast and claimed he could never eat on planes. If Steve hadn’t seen him do the same thing before every big business meeting, he’d have been worried.

They could hear Sarah bumbling around preparing their lunch, pots and pans banging together over the faint hum of her music. She’d had the same playlist for as long as Steve could remember, the same one she used to twirl Steve around the kitchen to.

“It’s going well,” Steve said quietly when he’d finished his mouthful. “Mom adores you – she made those cookies just for you, you know. What are you stressing about now?”

There was a beat of silence before Tony broke Steve’s gaze, swallowing another bite of Sarah’s macadamia-nut cookies and shuffling awkwardly.

“Oh.” Steve ducked his head until he met Tony’s eyes again. He ran a finger down Tony’s cheek, chucking him under the chin. “If this is about Bucky, then I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. He’ll love you, too.”

Tony lifted his chin and stared directly at Steve, reaching for another cookie and taking a large bite.

*

“You know about the tradition, right?” Sam asked, lifting a leg and settling his ankle on his opposite knee.

Tony blinked and turned to look up at Steve with a bemused expression. “No?”

Steve bit down on his grin and shrugged back at Tony as though confused. Maybe it was a bit mean, but he couldn’t resist the tease. Sooner or later Tony would jump right out of his shell and get his own back. Until then, Steve would poke a bit of fun at him.

“Oh?” Bucky joined in, a smirk growing on his face. “Stevie didn’t tell you about the garter?”

Tony’s eyes widened comically. “The what now?”

Sam snorted. “Typical Steve. We have a tradition here where–”

“Oh,” Tony said in recognition, relaxing back into the couch. Steve frowned, wondering what Tony knew. “That tradition. Didn’t realise you all knew about Steve’s kinks. We covered that on the honeymoon, but I can reprise it for you guys if you’d like.” He paused before he turned to look up at Steve, biting his lip thoughtfully. “Might have to go shopping, though. Think we, um, ruined the last outfit I had.”

There was a beat of silence where Steve stared at Tony with wide eyes, mouth hanging open ever so slightly. Tony arched an eyebrow in challenge, clearly refusing to back down. He’d been waiting for Tony to lose his nerves, but, damn, Steve hadn’t seen that coming.

The silence stretched on until a sudden bark of laughter came from the other couch. Having almost forgotten that they weren’t alone in the room, Steve jumped.

“Amazing,” Bucky said through another laugh. When Steve looked over at him, he was wiping a finger under his eye and thumping himself on the chest. “That was awesome. You’re awesome. Another beer?”

Thinking his best friend was speaking to him, Steve opened his mouth. Before he could speak, Tony’s voice rung out.

“No, thanks. But I’ll grab one for you. I’m going in to see Sarah.”

“Don’t be a punk,” Bucky said, using Sam’s thigh as a brace to push himself up. “I’ll get it myself.”

“I don’t mind,” Tony said and Steve’s eyes flicked between the two of them as they bantered like they’d been friends for years. “You just want to steal her cookies.”

As Tony untangled himself from Steve’s embrace and stood up, Bucky snorted. “Like you’re not going for the exact same thing.”

“Yeah, because she made them for me. She even told me so. I’m the guest of honour.”

As he crossed the threshold to the hallway, Tony turned and shot Steve a wink, lifting his middle finger and holding it up as he disappeared out of view. Steve felt a wide smile spread across his face, grinning like a madman as he sat and stared at the space that Tony had occupied.

“That’s it,” Sam said and Steve turned to him with a question on his face. “We’re keeping him.” 

Steve laughed as he took a long swig of his beer. The love he felt for Tony threatened to make him explode. He felt as though it were seeping out of every pore. “I had planned to, actually.” 

“Not you,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. “Us. Me, to be more specific.”

“Well, I’m glad you approve.”

“Oh, I do more than approve.” Sam sipped his beer and set it down on the coffee table. “I’m stealing him. He’s my new partner in crime.”

“What am I then?” Bucky asked indignantly, coming back into the room at that moment. He smacked Sam on the back of the head as he flopped onto the arm of the couch. “Chopped liver?”

“Stale,” Sam answered dryly. “You’ve got no new jokes. I need someone new, someone lively.” 

“You dick. Can’t believe you’re dropping me so quickly. And anyway, what if I wanted to claim Tony for my new sidekick?”

Rolling his eyes with a laugh, Steve shook his head. “Please stop fighting and tell me what you’ve done with my husband.”

“Oh, relax,” Bucky said, elbowing Sam. “He’s fine. He’s charming the pants off my Sarah.”

“If she’s anyone’s,” Sam said as he shoved at Bucky’s thigh, “she’s mine.”

“I’ve known her longer. She definitely loves me more,” Bucky argued, wiping the condensation from his new beer on Sam’s face.

“Doesn’t mean anything. Quality over quantity and all that.”

Watching them shove and push at each other. Steve stood from his chair and went in search of his partner. He couldn’t believe anyone could ever be nervous about meeting those two overgrown children.

*

Steve stood in the doorway and watched two of his favourite people laughing over something. It was probably him, but he couldn’t have cared less. Steve knew he would happily be laughed at if it meant that he could see Tony and his mother bond so well in front of him, if he could see Tony fully relax into a domestic setting.

“Hey,” he said, smiling when Tony and Sarah both turned to face him with wide smiles. He winced when a crash came from somewhere behind him.

“Hello, my darling,” Sarah said before she turned to Tony, squeezing his forearm. “Can you keep an eye on the oven for me, sweetheart? Let me just go and sort out those boys in the living room.”

Tony fixed her with a wide-eyed stare as she left the room. “I can’t keep an eye on the oven,” he hissed. “How do you keep an eye on an oven?”

Laughing, Steve crossed the room and wrapped Tony in a tight hug, pinning his arms to his sides. “God, I love you.”

“Help me! I don’t know what to do.”

“You stand here,” Steve said, grinning into Tony’s neck, “and that’s about it.”

“Oh. Well, that’s easy enough.” Steve felt Tony relax in his hold and softened his embrace enough for Tony to wrap his arms around Steve’s waist. “Your mom’s nice.”  

“Told you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony said, the eye-roll audible in his voice. That was a special talent that Tony seemed to have perfected during their relationship. “You were right.”

Steve gasped and pulled back to meet Tony’s eyes, knowing there was a smug grin on his face. “Can you say that again? I’d like to record it.”

Tony rolled his eyes, fingers slipping into Steve’s back pockets. He bit his lip as the amusement fell away. “Do you really think they like me?”

“Believe me,” Steve said, lifting his hand to cup Tony’s face, thumb swiping over the dent in his bottom lip, “they adore you.”

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

21 - Unwanted Inconvenience

I've changed the band name from "Xannys" to "Grimlace". I am extremely sorry for making you all suffer through having such an awful band name in the past.

I cannot stress this enough, please vote for my chapters! And I love every comment I get so much!! It makes my day seeing the number of comments I get:)

This chapters songs:

Retreat! - Crumb

Sponge Won't Soak - Wild Moccasins

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

- Y. L. Perspective

"Uhm...Suga?" Tanaka's voice is heard to our left, waking both me Koshi up from our very long nap. "We're here you know."

His awkward tone alone was enough to send us both jumping out of our seats, fearful that the entire team had waited for us to get up. But thankfully, it was just Daichi and Tanaka standing above us.

Both Koshi and I look at each other in unison. "Sorry..." he manages to mumble while leaving the seat. I follow him shortly after, leaving the van empty.

Was I sorry? No. The nap against Koshi was five stars. I hadn't ever had such a comfortable car ride in my entire life until I rested on him. Besides, he was my boyfriend. Why would I be sorry for something silly like that?

What I was sorry about was that we almost got noticed by Eclair. The entire team knew about Koshi and me, except for her. I didn't know much about her and from what I perceived of her she didn't seem like a drama starter. She would most likely cry and yell and forget about it when she went back to France in a couple of days.

We had thought everyone would be tired after such a long car ride. But not Hinata. He admired the structure of the big building, yelling, "Wow! I've never been to a training camp before! This feels so cool!"

"It's just a training camp," Kageyama remarked, yet Hinata stands unfazed.

The team entered the building, all of us observing its basic beige architecture and decor. Everyone gathered around Takeda to ask which rooms they were assigned to. As for Kiyoko, Eclair, and I—we had asked him beforehand to get a head start.

All three of us manage to sneak off from the crowd and hunt down our room number: #613. Although I wasn't very comfortable around Eclair, I didn't feel uneasy to be sleeping in the same room as her. It only meant I couldn't update Kiyoko on my relationship with Sugawara.

Once we'd found our designated room, I unfolded the tiny key and stick it into the lock, hearing a click not soon after I turn it.

When I had opened the door, I wasn't entirely dissatisfied. There were two bunk beds on each side of the room, all four mattresses covered in floral printed sheets with nightstands next to them. The curtains had the same pattern as the sheets, falling over a large square window.

Overall, it was a nice room. Way nicer than the previous motels and hotel rooms that my band had stayed in during concerts and such. All stank of marijuana and alcohol.

Eclair's brackets make a 'jingle!' sound while she squealed, "it's lovely!" The girl runs up to one of the bottom bunks and places her bag there, collapsing onto the mattress. "I'm so thankful to be spending my last few days in Japan here!"

Kiyoko nods gently, her too putting her luggage on the opposite bunk bed. Assuming she wouldn't mind it, I threw my bag on the bunk above her. It would most likely be easier to communicate with her if I shared a bed with her.

"Yes, it's very nice," I say, smiling merely at the blonde girl.

Kiyoko began to unpack her toiletries into the small drawer attached to the bunk bed. I hopped down from the top bed and did the same, observing the carvings that the drawers had. Names, dates, and funny remarks were scratched out in the middle of it, lots of them left from previous sports or art students that came to this building for a camp of some kind. All were either hilarious, inappropriate, or gentle. But in all, they made me smile.

"So you're in a band, Y/n?"

In my eyes widen in fear. Nobody from the team other than Sugawara, Daichi, and Kiyoko knew that I was in a band. So how did the girl find out?

Hesitantly turning my head, I nod, making out an awkward smile across my face. "Uhh, yeah. How'd you know?"

She sits up confidently and chuckles. "I was taking a glance at your Instagram. You seem to go on a lot of trips around the world!"

I wasn't very used to being confronted about my band. And besides that, being acknowledged she was looking through my Instagram was stressful. If she knew about my band, was it possible she knew about Koshi and me?

"Yeah, I travel now and then." Proceeding to unpack my things as if it was no issue to be questioned, I place my pairs of shoes under the bed.

No matter how uncomfortable I attempted to make my tone, she kept on going. "Oh...that sounds like fun! You must have so many fans. Your voice is great too. I wonder why you've never told them team about Grimlace!"

"Hm, I like to keep my life outside of volleyball private..." I say. "Could you please not tell anybody else?"

My question sure was quiet but clear to her. It would determine whether or not Eclair was a bitch or genuinely a nice girl.

Thankfully, she nods lightly, messing with her nails. "Of course not."

Suddenly, the conversation is put to the side by a knock on our door, sending Eclair, hushed Kiyoko, and me to flinch.

Kiyoko puts a hand on her chest, sighing in relief that the tension was interrupted. "Come in," she tells the person on the other side of the door.

Two boys are revealed; Nishinoya and Tanaka walk in, already dressed down in their "sleep clothes", which consisted of a white t-shirt and shorts. Could I talk any mess about their outfits? Nope! I was planning on wearing the same thing.

The buzzcut bow flutters his eyes at the sight of Kiyoko brushing her hair and quickly grows flustered. "L-ladies! Dinner is on the table." He spoke loud in nervousness. "Do you guys like your room?"

"Tanaka, we've been in here less than ten minutes. I'm surprised you're already gotten dressed!" Kiyoko speaks in a sweet tone that seems to mesmerize him. She finished up brushing the ends of her hair and dusts her hands off on her sweat pants, before looking towards the other two girls in the room: Eclair and I.

We nod and drop what we were doing to exit the room with her. If the odds were in my favor, Eclair wouldn't continue interrogating me during dinner. If so, she would soon find out about Koshi and me from one of the men that walked behind us, flustered they'd

Not soon after leaving, we arrive in the mess hall, where the volleyball club was spread around filling their plates and emptying them into their tummies.

The two boys leave our side to continue eating and we help ourselves to some plates. Today they served simple rice, roasted vegetables, and chicken. Nothing special, nothing utterly disgusting. As I'm picking up my food, I look over to the lunch table that the boys were scattered upon, keeping an eye out for any gray-haired men.

There he sat next to Daichi, eating small portions of the rice left in his bowl. 'Does Eclair's being here mean I'm not allowed to sit next to my boyfriend during dinner?' I think internally, finishing filling my plate.

Kiyoko helps herself to sit right next to Daichi, fitting in with the rest of the third years that sat on the bench next to the second years Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. Across from them were the first years and the terrible two: Tanaka and Noya.

I stood uncomfortably at the end of the wooden table, looking over it to see if there were any empty seats I could eat in. All that looked back at me were eyes of curiosity and confusion.

It only took a few seconds of staring until someone was nice enough to mention my standing there.

"Y/n! Why don't you take my spot? I'm just about done anyway," Daichi tells me while he got up from the bench with the now empty tray. I look at Daichi, then Koshi, then to Eclair who was now walking towards the lunch table.

I of course didn't want her to take my spot, so I nod and bow politely, before switching places with Sawamura. He pays my shoulder gently, whispering, "you're welcome!"

Kiyoko and Koshi both smile at me, scooting over the slightest to make room for me. I say my thanks for my food and began picking at my rice, listening in on the boy's conversation.

"And then I spent my time practicing on the girls' team since I didn't have anyone else to practice with me. It sure felt like I was a part of their club!" Hinata told us, Eclair sitting down next to him, beginning to eat her food as well. "What about you guys? Did you guys have any rough stories before getting into volleyball?"

Tanaka cuts the air with his pointer finger, motioning for us to pause any conversation until he was done chewing. "I used to be a mega introvert before attending Karasuno!"

"Yup, Ryunosuke was just like Kageyama but worse," Nishinoya commented.

I raise a brow at the mention of that. Tanaka—a boy at the edge of having a breakdown?! I couldn't speak for myself. I too was a short-tempered girl towards the beginning of high school.

Kageyama scoffs, rolling his eyes at the mention of his name. "I'm not that bad, you know." We all knew that was a lie. As much as he denied it, Tobio struggled with his anger issues.

Eclair raises her hand slightly, swallowing a lump of rice. "Don't sweat it Kags, everyone has their embarrassing issues. For instance: I used to be such an obsessive girl in my first year. I'm sure I was a nuisance to many of the people in the volleyball club. Always talking in class and being a ditz was my specialty!"

"What about you, Y/n? Have you ever been involved in volleyball, or is this your first time being a part of a volleyball club?" Nishinoya asks me. At first, I thought of shaking my head and replying with a no, as if my memory of middle school had disappeared from my mind.

After thinking about what to reply with for a second or two, I nod my head slightly. "Hm...in junior high I was on the girls' volleyball team, but I was more of a bench warmer. I only joined the team to be closer to my friends, that's all."

"Aren't you friends with the captain of Seijoh 

boys volleyball club? You know, since you went to middle school with him?"

I look up to the girl who assumed such ridiculous things, Eclair. There she sat with her chopsticks in hand, lips parting slightly. It was crystal clear that she was trying to dig out my history and force me to tell the volleyball club about my personal life further than what I was comfortable with.

Knowing that I was uneasy, Koshi lays his hand gently onto my knee under the table, squeezing it ever so slightly. My heart beats in its cage, anxious at how many ways this conversation could go if I had said the wrong thing.

"...is that true?" Asahi asks, looking at his fellow teammates to observe their reactions. All of them looked just the same: betrayed.

"Eclair, it's best not to assume things about people you barely know," Koshi tells the girl in a monotone voice, making it obvious that he knew her intentions.

'Well, this got awkward fast.'

"It's okay. Uhm— I'm not friends with any members of Aoba Johsai's volleyball members. Where did you hear that?" I ask, setting down my utensils and clasping my hands together. Surely her reasoning has to be good if it meant ruining my very new relationships with most of the boys at the table.

Most of them sigh after my question, placing hands in their chests. "I thought you were a traitor for a second, Y/n! Eclair, you scared us half to death!" Noya whines.

The girl blinks a few times, shrugging. "I'm terribly sorry! I heard it from a girl that goes to Aoba Johsai, she says that Oikawa never stops talking about Y/n! She only knew by looking up your name and finding out she went to Karasuno."

"Seems you have a crush on Y/n, Eclair. You're almost addicted to looking into her past." Kiyoko suddenly made a remark, smirking as she drank a sip of her water.

The girl grows flustered very quickly, blushing. "No! Sorry, Y/n. I didn't mean to be disrespectful. I'm only interested in what it's like to live without many boundaries. My father never lets me lay a finger on anything that could potentially ruin his vision of what his daughter should be," an innocent look is spread across her face as she says so.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that Eclair." Yamaguchi makes a sweet comment, ignorant that she was guilt-tripping. I'd never pictured her to be such a manipulative girl yet calm and poised at once.

She nods, continuing to eat her food.

Though it was her fault entirely, Eclair was saddened that what was supposed to be an enjoying dinner turned out to be silent and awkward. I was growing extremely tired of her passive-aggressive attitude towards me, but losing sight of why I came to this training camp was not an option. I don't care how badly Eclair could hurt my feelings, I won't let it get to me.

-

Thank you so much for reading this chapter!! I know it's been so late since I've updated. Pls forgive me! I've just now started school again so things are keeping me from writing. Love you all as always,

- estrxlar

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1 Chapter 5

• Now that we are five chapters into this story, now seems like a good time to get the masterlist of this series out! 😁 Which I will be doing shortly after this QT is up. If you've missed the other chapters, you'll be more easily able to find them all there! I'll also be reblogging my TRR series masterlist sometime this week, since my TRR Book 1 Chapter 5 chapter is close to getting finished as well.

• I'm hoping to get this one out early, it's an extremely light chapter for the most part. It's practically filler, filled with little vignettes between the characters here and there and mostly diamond scenes. The heavy stuff inevitably seems to be left for the actual Walker Ranch (sigh).

• Here are the tags to block if you don't want my QTs to clog up your dash: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs. For now a friend of mine is helping get the read-mores on the main posts, until Tumblr actually does something to make them work on a phone again.

• TW: Brief mentions of the Dr Ramirez scene in Hana's playthrough, and infertility.

• Screenshot Credits:

Hana - @pixieferry

Maxwell - Abhirio's YouTube channel

Drake - @thefirstcourtesan

Liam - Well, me

• Besides being mostly filler stuff, this chapter had a lot of diamond scenes. Two outfit changes (one OOTD and one lingerie for the LI), a group scene and the book's first character scene (Liam).

• A few people I know have been asking me about the differences between "character scenes" and "LI scenes" (and indeed a lot of people were confused by my use of these terms in my Book 3 QTs). So once I get to my general thoughts section, I'll elaborate on those.

• Title: The Open Road

Alternative Title: Enjoy The Fillers, Dear Fans, Coz You Got A Walker-Storm Comin'!

• We're now on our way to the States, barely days after we got back to our own estate. The Council is looking after stuff in exactly the way they have since we left for our honeymoon, except that now it's lost all its core group members besides Olivia. Her, Hana and Kiara must probably share whatever few brain cells exist in that Council between each other.

• If you've unlocked the "casual clothing" scenes for the LIs in Book 2 (Liam's t-shirt, Hana's crop top, Drake's Henley and Maxwell's muscle shirt and Bubbles necklace), that's what they'll be wearing on their journey this chapter.

• Maxwell is now the self-appointed Royal Entertainment Committee.

• Bertrand WOULD be freaking out about spoons.

• Our OOTD today is an off-shoulder crop top with floral designs, and ripped shorts - paired with a blue and pink statement necklace and a few bracelets. Esther DuPont and literally every other MC is more confident about pulling this outfit off than I will ever be.

• Maxwell suggests the outfit in the Liam, Drake and Hana playthroughs, and Hana suggests it in Maxwell's.

• First Stop: Our old workplace in NY! Our manager is no longer around (probably got fired lol) but Daniel is! Or as I still like to call him, Not-Henney 😂

• Hana is so cutely excited about visiting the place where it all begin, a place she must have till now only heard about in the other LIs' stories. Sigh. Wish we'd brought her here earlier.

• Not-Henney has issues with how little attention Maxwell gave to the MC's origins. @callmetippytumbles points out that there's not much you can expect from an author who put his face on the cover of a book about you. Cmon, Not-Henney.

• Told you "Things are Great" would become a meme.

• He now asks what the experience of being an actual Queen/Duchess is like. You can go for the funny route (glam parties that'll make Beyonce jealous. Oh idk, does Beyonce like an overabundance of apples?), the realistic route (speaking about everyone's expectations weighing on you), and the romantic route, which brings out some cute responses in both Not-Henney and the LIs, ranging from delight to awkwardness.

• Oh snap. The paps are here.

• We make a run for it (in two options, with Daniel's help), and keep driving. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, the MC mentions a motorcycle when speaking about Drake, which makes me wonder in we will end up having a motorcycle scene in Texas itself. I mean, the writers did mention being excited about a scene featuring one in their livestream.

• Maxwell picks the next stop, and it's that engagement barn we built for Liam, apparently. Or the house of Robert, Steve Tennyson's (PM) dad. Where he has found the "biggest ball of string". Only Joy and Hope, my corgis, seem even remotely happy about this.

•

...Okay Maxwell.

Hana needs to roast people more. Roast EVERYONE in that friend group and EVERYONE in that court!

• Fun Fact: This chapter was released on the 50th anniversary of the historic 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing 😁

• As proven from this scene, the few brain cells this group collectively has, all belong to Hana.

• It's now time to check out what the group brought as provisions:

MC: Nothing, she's only here to ask what everyone else brought

Drake: Jerky

Maxwell: Tequila (!!)

Liam: IDK Esther I thought a four-course meal would just fall upon our laps from the heavens

Hana: ME! Bring cookies that I've NOT warmed by the fires wrought from the bowels of the deepest hells??? BLASPHEMY.

As always Hana saves everyone's ass this fine day. I actually quite like this bit with Hana, because it veers a tiny bit more towards "perfectionist" than just simply "perfect". Hana would be the kind of person to worry excessively over being a good hostess, since that's something she's been learning since she was a little girl (remember the tea scene in the flashback).

• We now stop by at Washington DC - Hana's suggestion - because she wanted to look at the cherry blossoms. I was quite chuffed about this when I found out coz I always used to have her down as more of a "plum blossom" girl, and this is pretty close 😁

• That little bit in DC where speaks of the area as "a marvel of both nature and civic engineering" is a nice touch, since Liam has always been associated with monuments and national legends.

• THE PAPS?? AGAIN????

• ...If my spouse and I have to spend ALL our time answering questions about babymaking, where are we going to find the time to babymake, mediapeople? Ever thought of that? Huh? Huh??

• This option is hands down the best fucking option in this chapter lol:

YOU'RE ALL SUCH DORKS ISTG

• We're now in a small town where Liam wants to mingle and be one with the locals. He's not been very successful in doing this in Cordonia (where people can literally look at his face and figure out who he is), but because it's the US and not many people might recognize him here, his chances of not being caught are better.

• This is the first character scene in the new series. It's pretty alright, not a lot of insights or anything, just a simple scene where Liam gets to not worry about acting like a royal, occasionally acknowledge his privilege, be charmingly naive, order milkshakes, and listen to the MC's insights on how she will bring up her/their kid. He does mention it opens some new perspectives on understanding his people, but I'm not sure we'll get to see much of what learnings he will put into action because, yknow, Cordonian commoners are practically invisible.

• This scene is also proof that you can take Liam out of the court but you can't take the court out of Liam.

• It begins with what the MC calls "a sidewalk hello", where she can either guide or massively troll him. The first two options are awkward as hell (I did like the bowing one though lolol coz she tells him he's probably made someone's day with his "courtly manners"), and the third is for Liam to simply ignore the other person and stare at his phone.

• Next scene involves getting Liam to buy groceries...coz he's never brought groceries. Why would he Esther he has a staff.

• They have a choice between fruit, nachos with everything on them (and they weren't kidding about "everything") and chocolates. I chose fruit.

• You also get some cute tidbits about Liam's life growing up in the palace. Here are the important ones:

- Constantine and Eleanor agreed they wanted Liam to be self-sufficient but "disagreed on how far to take that principle" (given what Liam says about her in one of the other options, I'm guessing Eleanor wanted to take it a lot more further).

- Liam can make spaghetti carbonara!!!

- Laundry: So there was this one time Leo and Liam played tag close to a champagne tower at an event, and it fell down. Eleanor insisted they "clean up the mess [they] made. A reasonable lesson in decorum and consequences". I kinda like this little crumb of info considering there is so little we know about her.

- Eating leftovers: Liam used to have sleepovers at Jackson and Bianca's quarters, and he tells us he was "proud to help Drake's mother microwave the leftovers" coz to his little mind he thought that was cooking 😁 I know, I know, I believed my mom when she put a tiny bit of coffee powder in my milk and told me it was actual coffee haha.

- Doesn't know how to do dishes. He knows soap and water is involved lol.

• The final part of the scene involves Liam treating himself at a diner with (what else!) a milkshake, while casually chatting with the MC about how she feels about the simplicity of her past life, and the way she plans to bring up her (or their) own child.

• Liam not immediately understanding that utensils are self-serve reminds me of Hana's confusion at the idea of a McDermots not having wait-staff.

• The MC has options for how to respond to Liam's question about bringing up a child - 1. I'd like my child to be practical and aware of their role, they don't need to learn how to fold a bed sheet or do dishes. 2. I want my child to have a bit of both worlds so that they're more flexible in their approach. 3. My child should be acutely aware of what the common person in Cordonia goes through if they're going to have to rule fairly over them. These three options in some way allow you to imagine what the MC would be like as a mother, and what upbringing this 'heir' might have.

•

I've never actually seen YOU make much of an effort to find out in Cordonia.

• There's also a tiny bit about Regina that follows this optional dialogue if you're married to him, which I really like: Liam states to Esther that those are "wise words from the wisest queen I know", following which she points out that he's lucky Regina hasn't heard it. Liam's response to that is: "after all this time, I think she'd agree with me". Regina's kinda grown on me over the series, and I do hope we see her again!

• Overall the scene's alright. It's there, it's cute, it's filler like the rest of the chapter. Only time will tell if it will actually result in anything in the future, which kind of leads me to wonder what Character Scenes are going to look like going forward (now that the LI scenes mostly perform the function for both characterization and romance). But the biggest takeaway right now for me is what Liam has to say about his parents, and optionally about his mother. I think that may point towards something later on.

• LMAO @ the random stranger in the diner optionally thinking Liam's brother might be Thor. Leo would be pleased 😂 Also a nice touch to see her recognize us again at the lingerie store if we buy both scenes!

• We now have a scene featuring the couples in their hotel bedroom, where the LI and MC have either had a bit of a wild night, or where the MC has just finished her at-home fertilization procedure (if the LI is Hana). There's a little chit-chat here and there about the moments they have now and about privacy, but it's different in the case of Hana.

• You finally get the chance to ask about how she feels, and this is the response:

• That's it then, I guess 😒 I'm honestly not surprised, given how much in a hurry they were to have Hana concentrate on the MC in the doctor's office itself. I'll expand more on this later.

LIAM. YOU FOOL. I'M WEARING IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

• Honestly I don't see the point in having the MC suggest the lingerie in Liam's playthrough (the others basically make the suggestion instead, and they say "well, you're wearing that", instead, implying that they're talking about what she has on already) if they're not going to code it properly.

• The actual lingerie scenes are pretty cute! And fun! And comes with cool dialogues options, and this:

• NOW I know why Hana's lingerie was head and shoulders above the rest. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CHOSE IT.

• So here's a rundown of all four LI scenes:

- Liam: The clerk from the store (who was also the girl who noticed Liam in the Incognito Scene if you bought that) recognizes Liam and the MC, freaks out and closes the store so they can shop in full privacy. The rest of it is cute playful banter, like expressing surprise at this being Liam's first time at a lingerie store. She then chooses black silk boxers with a golden baroque design. LMAO trust the MC to get him a Versace. 😂

- Drake - Tells the MC he likes it when she takes the lead. The MC then gets to ask him whether he would be down to wearing handcuffs or pink feathers. To the second option, Drake claims that he would "wear a tutu and crown if you told me you had a thing for the sugar fairy". LMAO they really are desperate to show us how much they learned from the "pink cake" fiasco. Pity how they couldn't teach themselves to treat their one female LI with respect. Anyway, the MC chooses red silk boxers with polka dots (!!)

- Maxwell - This scene is a fever dream from start to finish. Maxwell is happy and excited and SUPER SUPER enthusiastic, asking the MC to drop a beat so he can break into a dance at the store. The MC chooses blue silk boxers with squid designs on them. EVEN MAXWELL CANNOT CONTAIN HIS SHOCK. (PS: This scene marks the third appearance of "release the kraken!" 😄).

- Hana - Hana has apparently seen shops like these from the outside but has never been to one (same sis same). She speaks of how she never had anyone to do it for, which is why she is so happy about it now coz she can do it for the MC. A sweet, simple conversation. The difference here is that Hana knows what she wants, and chooses the lingerie herself: a beautiful lace and fishnet number with garter belt and stockings. She looks amazing and part of that is because unlike her friends, she realizes that her wife has deplorable fashion sense.

• It's now the next day, and Drake tries really hard to hoodwink everyone into making his "next stop" the Walker ranch, but the Royal Entertainment Committee threatens him with an "intimidating interpretive dance performed by me" (is he going to jump out the car and sing Kiki Do You Love Me too?). It's enough to scare Drake into picking a nicer stop.

• It's now time to listen to some tunes!! Everyone squabbles a little over what music to choose and the MC gets to pick either of them:

- Hana's Choice: A piano concerto that Liam loves, makes Drake cry and Maxwell go all happy-sleepy.

- Liam's Choice: Chartbusters. "Top 40s". Drake is surprised coz the last time they drove together, Liam made him listen to 52 versions of a single Bach sonata, to which Liam cheekily responds that doing so made him figure out which one was Drake's favourite.

- Maxwell's Choice: Some song that Maxwell did a deejay mix to, and apparently Liam (and presumably Drake) lent backing vocals to. Going by Liam's advance apology it must be pretty fucking terrible.

- Drake's Choice: Classic rock tunes that he can do air-guitar to. Liam concedes it has rhythm, Drake responds that it has rhythm and attitude. He tries to do air guitar in the car but Hana, panicking, reminds him that he's the one driving.

- What Would Have Been Bertrand's Choice/We Shall Drive In Silence!: Apparently when the MC says this, Maxwell says that she channeled Bertrand so hard "he flashed before my eyes". The MC reasons that if no one wants to listen to anyone else's music they might as well be quiet. Maxwell tries to bring up other alternatives such as playing his kazoo-tar, at which point EVERYONE agrees that silence is golden.

• This bit is one of my favourites in the chapter. Probably the second after "say cheese" haha.

• It's Hana's turn to drive and Maxwell is helping her by asking she carve that path from her heart. Which she does, even though she has mentally memorized the next twelve steps she needs to take.

• Liam drives, explaining when the MC asks that Drake was his first driving instructor (Drake had his licence already and they may have used a royal golf course or two for practice runs).

• Maxwell finds a new waypoint: Thrilltown. His reasoning is quite poignant (everything is changing, the MC and LI - in some cases him - will be having a child soon and everyone will be busy in their respective roles, when will everyone be together like this again?). The rest of the group comfort and reassure him, stating that they will probably see more of each other now. In any case...perhaps to Maxwell this is like a last hurrah to the carefree life he used to have.

• We start with choosing rides. Maxwell and Drake choose The Accelerator, which Maxwell describes as "fast. furious. and it uses gravity at speeds that Thrilltown can't legally release to the public!". Hana and Liam choose the "gentler" option - the carousel - which has you ride unicorns, griffins, dragons and other fantastical beings.

• I'm surprised the writers don't have him react even a little to the carousel, considering one of his scariest experiences took place on one (Book 1 Chapter 16). Just show him say "yeah...I'll pass" or show some emotion or other. It's like that armoury scene in his playthrough of Book 3 Chapter 11 where Madeleine could mock Liam about his feelings for the MC and Maxwell is pretty much sitting there not reacting. It's so lazy. I can't.

• Carousel with Liam and Hana: I loved this one, very cute. The carousel has fantasy elements and mythical animals, things that both Liam and Hana love. The MC gets to sit on a phoenix (like her optional Valtoria sigil!), Liam on a dragon (like the royal family's old crest! Dom would be proud) and Hana on a unicorn (which suits her particular style of whimsy). It's cute and fun and sounds exactly like the kind of thing Liam and Hana would enjoy.

The Accelerator with Maxwell and Drake: They call it EXTREME, and it lives up to its name. Maxwell is ecstatic obviously because he's a thrill-seeker and a ride like this is completely in his wheelhouse. Drake gets caught red-handed handed actually enjoying the ride.

• We try out something called The Vortex of Terror, where Liam challenges his friends to not scream up until the end of the ride. Ironically he's the first one to cave 🤣🤣

• "I accept your terms, Liam...as long as you're prepared to lose". Badass enough to challenge the king of the country xD (considering the way that ride goes, I think she was right haha).

• I need more Competitive, Sarcastic Hana outside of cute group scenes.

• One of two people can win this challenge: either the MC or Hana. If the MC wins, she gets to hoist herself on the LI's shoulders towards the next ride. If Hana wins, she perches herself on top of Drake's because he's pretty damn tall.

• Our last ride is called "Lover's Leap" and it's pretty much the romantic portion of the group scene, really.

At the end of it, the LI brings you a green candy drink, and then lets you know how this trip to Thrilltown is representative of their journey together and the change the MC has brought to their lives.

• Both Hana and I have no freaking clue what Liam means when he says "I call shotgun" before they head out.

• Lol @ Cordonia having its own version of "Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall". And of course it's going to feature Cordonian Rubies 🤣

• We now reach the ranch, where those of us who didn't marry Drake meet his mother Bianca for the very first time (in every other playthrough she is called "The Rider" and in Drake's her sprite is addressed by name).

• There ends the chapter, on a 'suspicious' note, the kind that seems to sound like things are suspicious but they're probably not. Bertrand's head must be exploding from the lack of spoons.

General Thoughts:

• It's a good thing this filler chapter exists, even if it's mostly inconsequential fluff, because at least that's one chapter less to deal with BertVannah and Drake and his family.

• It's also pretty expensive because the writers knew their crowd by now and know that that crowd is willing to spend.

• The scenes were in keeping with the mood of the chapter - light and fluffy, lots of friendship and some amount of romance. I ended up liking the free short scenes more than any of the diamond ones this chapter honestly.

• So...on the outset, it seems good that the MC is able to check on Hana, post the visit to Dr Ramirez. Hearing Hana's answer, however, brought back every issue I've ever had with the way they've written Hana.

I mean, sure, not everyone reacts the same way to such painful news. I understand that. But here the writers are basically using Hana to minimize what she's going through. They use her to dismiss her own pain with "oh that's okay, I'm just happy that at least you can carry that baby". All that proves is that the female LIs' experiences and pain mean nothing in front the MC's needs.

I've spoken before about the numerous times Hana's pain had been brushed aside or her space eaten into, to favour particular characters, and this just happens to be a repeat of the same formula. This is especially bad because it proves that the only reason they put Hana through this kind of hell in the first place is so that only the MC can carry the child. Her condition isn't allowed to be anything else other than a plot convenience: not an opportunity to open a conversation on this, nor to help develop her as a character. It's merely a narrative device meant to make coding easier. It's dismissive, lazy and reeks of a deplorable lack of care. And again I have to ask, why put her through this if you're so desperate to ignore it afterwards??

• The other big problem is that considering the gravity of that situation, why is checking on her an option rather than actual default dialogue?? If you choose the option to continue talking about playlists instead, the topic just never emerges again. Again I have to ask, what the hell kind of wife is the MC? I mean even before they got the news, the MC was pretty much doing nothing. She wasn't planning for Hana, she wasn't thinking much in terms of what to do for her, everything seems to just revolve around her even in a scenario where either one could have been a mother.

• The lingerie scene seems to me to have elements of a type of diamond scene in the flagship series - the ones where we could buy new casual clothing for our LIs in NY. The LI requires a new look, the MC suggests for a change and often picks out something that she thinks would work (some of her choices - like Liam's pants or Drake's sunglasses are...questionable 😅), and from then on this would be their option for ultra-casual occasions. The one casualwear scene that is different from all these is Maxwell's: he gets his sleeveless shirt and Bubbles necklace at a shop in Coney Island, during the group scene (I think part of this was that they were attempting a step-by-step LI-upgrade because they were a new couple at that point...which was why his first 30 diamond scene was during the Gala, after they'd been together for a little while. Still doesn't excuse all the ways they ignored his background and history though).

The main difference between the casualwear scenes and the lingerie ones is that the first dealt put the MC and LI in different situations and dealt with different issues (therefore was a scene of its own) and the second really just revolved around the lingerie. Perhaps the lingerie scene would be what you'd call an 'extended outfit option'? As opposed to something that's a scene all on its own?

• I was actually quite surprised we got a character scene in this series. Given how much they'd drastically cut down on them in favour of beefing up their LI scenes more, I was fully expecting not to see them. I do prefer them to the LI scenes sometimes, because my LI is not the only one I want to be keeping tabs on, and I do want to know what's happening in their lives.

• What is the difference between the two? I hear some of you ask. Well, good question because I'm about to launch into one of my long-winded explanations again.

• Diamond Scenes in TRR/H: I've been holding off on writing about these, since I believed that the series probably had done away with character scenes and preferred to use LI scenes for both romance and development. With this chapter, I now understand that's not the case.

• So...simply put, the difference between an Character Scene and an LI scene, is that the first focuses on the same character in all playthroughs (eg. no matter who you are romancing, if you buy these scenes it's Hana who will play Snow Angels with you, or Drake who will go fishing with you), and the second focuses on who you are engaged/married to (eg. If I'm romancing Hana, I will not be going to the movies with Liam. If I'm romancing Maxwell, I will not be having a cake testing session with Drake).

During Books 1 and 2, when the MC wasn't altogether exclusive with any LI as such, each character would have their own specific scene which expanded further on their characterization and gave the MC a chance to learn more about them. Most of the romance in these scenes were by choice, with the exception of a few lines here and there. The writers tried to continue this way of formatting diamond scenes even beyond Liam's proposal, but the amount of backlash from the portions of the scenes that involved the MC cheating on her confirmed LI...kind of made them backtrack on this plan quite a bit.

Book 3 switched the format up a little. It was similarish in a lot of ways to RoE, except that unlike that book (where the other two would disappear once you got engaged to one), we were also friends with the other LIs. Besides outfits and plot development scenes (such as the one in the Nevrakis replica armory with Olivia and Gladys) and group scenes, the book also offered two types of scenes for the reader to connect with the characters they liked:

1. LI Scenes: These scenes are meant for the LI the MC is marrying, and are coded differently based on that. This kind of scene was first used in the series in the first chapter of Book 3, where the MC and LI could comfort each other in the safe house. The initial chapters had a similar approach to the scenes as RoE Book 3 (where Mr Sloan, Leo and Dean all ended up sounding like each other), in that the dialogues sounded pretty cut-and-paste, with little to no actual variations beyond a few things (an example of this was how - in the Book 3 Chapter 6 Spa Scene in Applewood - all the LIs spoke of being "dumb in love" with the MC - which suited certain LIs, but sounded extremely jarring on others.

During Book 3, a high number of complaints about the series revolved around this copy-paste routine for the LIs, mostly because the characters were so different from each other, and wouldn't speak the same or even have the same experiences. Around Book 3 Chapter 8, major shifts began to happen in the way these scenes were written, starting with the Movie-going Scene in Castelserraillian. Post that chapter, and the hiatus, there was a significant decrease in the number of individual character scenes, and an increase in both number and quality of the LI scenes. It is very possible that they found juggling both stressful and dialed back on one to personalize the other further.

2. Character Development Scenes: These were scenes with the LI that you got regardless of whether you were marrying them or not. This scene would be viewed over all playthroughs, with differences based on whether you were marrying them or not. If you were not marrying them, these scenes would appear neutral and the romantic options would simply not be there, or be replaced by more neutral ones. Examples of such scenes include Drake's Cordonian Waltz Scene in Fydelia (Book 3 Chapter 3), Liam's Gastrodiplomacy Scene in Castelserraillian (Book 3 Chapter 7), Hana's Polo Scene in Portavira (Book 3 Chapter 5) and Maxwell's Armoury Scene in Lythikos (Book 3 Chapter 11).

The most important thing to remember is that these scenes are expected to be coded differently (according to your relationship with said LI), not only by adding romantic options for the MC to choose, but also in the actions of the characters by default. For instance, the Fydelia Cordonian Waltz scene in Drake's playthrough incorporates - by default - all the sensuality you should be finding in this waltz, while his friendly playthrough is merely the MC teaching him the basics so they have an edge over Neville. By default, if you buy the Gastrodiplomacy scene as Liam's fiancée, the chocolate souffle you sampled with him would feature at your wedding reception.

I say the scenes were expected to be coded differently, because very often they were not. In a lot of cases the only proof you'd have in those scenes that the LI and MC were even together were from the MC's actions. For instance, even though Hana was going to be a duchess on marriage to the MC, the same as Drake - only Drake got to speak in detail about it. This opportunity came for Hana very briefly only by Chapter 14, well past the midpoint of Book 3.

• So when Book 3 began the formula was mostly "leave the character scenes for developing the LI's issues or getting them to teach something, and concentrate on nothing else but the romance for your LI scenes". However this wasn't exactly workable given how different each LI was and therefore how odd some of their dialogue sounded. The dial back is understandable (though, as someone who has looked through various playthroughs in this book, I can tell you the imbalances found across character scenes were on a whole different level).

• Why I've elaborated on this is to give context to a question I now have about the narrative: what are the Character Scenes going to look like from here on out? Post the hiatus, they would vary - they could be mostly plot-driven, or fun and light but not much depth or variation, or fun and light, and also opening up diverging conversations based on your relationship. Now that they seemed to have locked down some format in this book at least, what's it going to sound like?

The Liam Character Scene today was fun, light, had default differences based on whether you were marrying him or not, but ultimately had very little to give to the story other than a few facts about Liam's home life and (in a way that expands on what we already know about her and her dynamic with Constantine) his mother. What exactly does he learn? What new insights is he getting as a King who self-admittedly exists and operates in a "statesman's bubble"?

It also remains to be seen whether buying this scene will have any effect of future events - like Liam's Applewood Tour Scene, where his retelling of King Fabian's story had an impact on our conversation with Kiara's mother Joelle. I'm probably going to keep track on how these character scenes are being written in this series, considering that we already have a pretty good idea of how their LI scenes are done.

• Twice I've seen Eleanor associated with pasta. In Book 1 Liam mentions simple tomato pasta as a childhood dish that reminded of his mother, and here shortly after he speaks about his parents he mentions knowing to cook spaghetti carbonara. IDK what that's supposed to mean but I'm bringing it up anyway. I'm mean, what if it's a part of Auvernese cuisine 😂

• I guess that's it for this week! Time for me to scram and finish my Book 1 Chapter 5 QT too before the next chapter drops!

[carmenlire]

Don’t Let Me Be Gone

read on ao3

How things change, Maryse thinks.

It seems like only yesterday that she felt the quickening under her patrol uniform. Eighteen and terrified, she’d stay up long after Robert had fallen asleep each night. Lingering in the living room of their tiny apartment in Idris, Maryse had talked in soft, soothing tones to her baby bump-- to Alec-- long after midnight had come and gone.

Singing a French lullaby that had been her own favorite as a child, Maryse had spent those dark, silent hours wondering how the hell she was going to survive. The noose around Valentine’s neck was tightening with every day that passed and she knew-- deep down she knew-- that it was only a matter of time until the Clave found her family.

She prayed that she’d be spared-- that her child would be spared, at the very least.

Maryse had always wanted to be a mother. While her own parents had been stoic shadowhunters to their core, she’d dreamed of how she’d do things differently. She’d be a softer mother than her own.

So young, she thinks now, to feel like the weight of the world was crushing her shoulders. Still, Alec’s always been her saving grace. From the very first moment Maryse had realized why she’d been sick every morning for two weeks, Alec’s been a dream she’d held onto with everything she had.

Somehow--and for a very long time-- Maryse had forgotten that.

During the trial and the worry that she’d be executed in front of the cold, unforgiving eyes of the Clave, Maryse had clung onto the hope her child gave her. She’d almost passed out when she’d learned her sentence had been commuted. Serving a life sentence at the New York Institute had been a blessing from Raziel himself.

Settling into the Institute had taken ages. Maryse never felt at home in the cold, unforgiving building. Still, she’d thrown herself into becoming the best damned Head of the Institute anyone had ever seen.

Maryse can still feel the ghost of the backaches she’d suffered as she’d kept long hours even as her delivery date loomed closer. Most of her time was spent in her office, pouring over paperwork and setting things to right. Everyone had been so distrustful, so contemptuous, and while Maryse would never admit aloud that she’d sought respite behind the closed doors of her office, she knows that’s what it was.

Walking along the corridors, standing in the mission center giving orders, Maryse had often kept upright through sheer force of will. Her swollen feet had ached, headaches had plagued her, and not even resting a hand under her bump had been enough to offer any sort of comfort.

Still, she was a Lightwood by marriage and a Trueblood by heart. She was made of sterner stuff and Maryse had damned well refused to give her subordinates the satisfaction of seeing her weak.

Robert had been less than useless, even all those years ago, and so Maryse had largely been left to take care of things on her own while her husband was distracted with other pursuits.

She was heavily pregnant, after all, and far more focused on work and Alec than her husband. That’s what Robert had thrown out when confronted, at least. It had been one more weight that had threatened to break her back but Maryse had been young and still so naively in love.

Alec had been born two weeks early and had filled Maryse with so much terror and fear when she’d first heard his wailing cries. Robert was nowhere to be found and so Maryse had went through labor and delivery by herself, with no one but the infirmary medics to guide her.

Oh, but how the world had fallen away when they’d placed her darling boy in her arms, Maryse remembers.

Nothing had mattered but the small, achingly fragile life in her hands. Alec had quieted down almost immediately upon being placed in her arms, turning boneless in a move that had made Maryse’s heart stop for a second before she’d fallen in love.

He’s perfect, she’d thought, and had let out a tiny, sobbing laugh. She was eighteen and the mother to the most perfect child in the universe, she’d marveled.

When her son, her perfectly perfect child, had gripped her finger with his tiny little fist, Maryse had been delighted and so proud. She’d vowed to protect the bundle in her arms with everything she had.

As she thinks back to that afternoon for the millionth time, something in Maryse grieves for how things had turned so terribly, devastatingly wrong.

While she’d wanted nothing more than to stay in solitude with Alec, Maryse had taken a scant three days to recover before dragging herself-- and Alec-- to her office. Exhaustion had ridden her hard for weeks-- months-- as she’d tirelessly worked her ass off, balancing being a new mother and the Head of the Institute. It was overwhelmingly and oftentimes Maryse got through days going minute by minute with white-knuckled determination.

Alec had stayed in a little bassinet she’d put together right next to her desk and it seemed like a never ending cycle of feeding and changing and signing off on reports and reading missives.

Alec had been her only spot of brightness for ages. Sometimes her eyes were so blurry she couldn’t see straight but she’d take an hour in the evening and carry Alec up to her bedroom. Rocking him to sleep, Maryse had felt something clutch at her heart whenever big hazel eyes looked up at her, happy and open and full of love.

Something had shifted, though. Slowly but surely Maryse had lost sight of what made her heart sing. She’d thrown herself full tilt at work, trying desperately to outrun her mistakes and polish her name back from its tarnished ruin. She’d wanted Alec to be proud to be a Lightwood-- and a Trueblood-- and that had been her guiding hand for years.

For far longer than it should’ve ever been.

Lost in thought, Maryse remembers Alec’s third birthday. She was pregnant with Isabelle, though she hadn't known it at the time, and had decided in a rare indulgence-- her last for decades-- to spend the day with Alec.

Going to the nursery wing, Maryse had watched as Alec had picked his outfit for the day. He was a happy boy, always smiling, always so full of wonder. Biting her tongue to keep silent, Maryse had sighed a little to herself as her toddler picked green shorts with turtles along the edge and a light blue t-shirt. It didn’t match but it was colorful, that much was a given.

Alec had always favored bright colors-- until he didn’t.

Pushing away from the doorway, Maryse had grinned as Alec’s eyes lit up when he saw her. Gesturing for him to lift his arms, Maryse had dressed her son, kissing his cheek when she was finished.

“Mama,” Alec had asked, staying admirably still while Maryse tried to comb his hair into some semblance of order.

“What is it, baby?” Her voice had been distracted with her task when he’d replied.

“Why don’t you ever wear your hair down anymore?”

Stilling, Maryse had looked down at him at a loss for words. She’d grown so used to throwing it in a ponytail or bun to keep it out of her way. It’s been ages since she wore it down. She’s a little surprised Alec remembers at all.

“I don’t know, Alec. Why?”

“You look pretty with your hair down, is all.”

Something tightens around Maryse’s throat at the innocent words. She won’t notice for years but it’s a crossroads of sorts. Maryse supposes that she could’ve laughed and taken her hair down for the day. She could’ve changed out of the dress that was firmly part of her Head of the Institute wardrobe and tried to look softer, more like a mother than a leader.

Instead, she laughs it off and tickles Alec. His laughing gasps are music to her ears and as they walk around New York, Maryse can’t quite remember a better day.

The sun is shining in the late fall and they feed the ducks in Central Park, Alec delighted as the animals eat the bread crumbs dutifully after each toss.

Things change so quickly after that, though. Maryse realizes she’s pregnant and all of a sudden she has to lead her people-- she has to prove herself-- when all she wants is to crawl into bed and sleep for a year.

Alec’s an energetic boy who’s always reaching for her and as her pregnancy continues, it gets harder and harder to keep up with him. Add that to her job and Maryse feels like she’s drowning, like she just can’t quite manage to keep her head above water.

It’s exhausting.

But Maryse always feels eyes on her-- the Consul, who could rescind the offer at any moment, the Clave who wants to see her fail with a desperate glee she can’t make sense of, and her subordinates who have railed against her command for the past three years.

They’re coming around-- she’s making them come around-- but it’s a painstakingly slow process.

Then Isabelle is born, healthy and glowing. Maryse feels her world fall away for a second time and can’t contain her excitement when she introduces her daughter to her brother.

Alec, always curious, stares at Isabelle with wide eyes. He’s happy, though, and so damned patient. Maryse is ashamed of it now, but she’d taken advantage of Alec. Alec had listened so earnestly as Maryse had explained just how important Isabelle was to the family and that if Alec wanted to be a good big brother, he’d need to protect her and look after her.

Alec had nodded so sternly-- she’d laughed a little at his expression, really, before wincing in pain-- and had promised to be the best big brother ever.

There have been more times than she’d like to admit that Maryse has regretted her words but from that moment on, Alec had taken Isabelle under his wing.

He’d called her Izzy and had been a constant companion to the newest edition to the Lightwood family. Maryse had caught Alec in Izzy’s crib, both of them sleeping with their thumbs in the mouth. Isabelle had been inseparable from Alec. She’d cry for him-- more often than she ever cried for her mother, Maryse knows without a doubt.

And Alec had always been there.

Two peas in a pod, Maryse had figured and she’d left them to their own devices while she lost herself in work.

It seemed like all she ever did was work. She worried about budgets and reprimanded her shadowhunters and turned the New York Institute into one of the best offices in North America. It had taken so much hard work-- more than she’d ever thought herself capable of-- but she’d risen to become a trusted, valued shadowhunter.

She always heard the wolves in the distance, though.

The invitations to attend meetings in Alicante had been slow to extend. She’d held her breath the first time she’d stepped on Idris soil for the first time in five years, tears stinging her eyes as she’d walked past places she’d thought she’d never see again.

Things hit a stride and life settled into a routine. And then Jace came along.

Maryse had welcomed the boy with open arms, feeling for him and wanting to show respect to a once dear friend. It hadn’t taken long, however, for unease to grow in the pit of Maryse’s stomach.

For a very long time, Maryse prided herself on knowing her son better than she knew herself. She’d watched Alec spar with Jace with sharp eyes and tension bloomed in her spine.

Oh, Alec, she’d thought.

She knew what those looks meant. She could see the way her son’s eyes followed Jace around the room when he thought no one was looking.

Maryse still loved Alec with every piece of her heart but a piece of her-- a stupid, hateful piece-- had mourned. She’d grieved the life her son could have had.

The life she’d wanted him to have.

She’d never said anything but Maryse sees now how she’d changed yet again. She lived in fear that her carefully built house of cards would come crumbling down at any minute. Robert could hardly be dragged from Idris, no matter that they'd just had a third child in a stupid, desperate attempt to salvage their marriage and every time Maryse looked at Alec, all she saw was another inevitable stain on the Lightwood name. She’d grown colder, harder. She’d demanded perfection and been unforgiving when it wasn’t delivered.

She’d kept a careful eye on the pair and had breathed a quiet but fervent sigh of relief when Jace had asked her son to be parabatai. She doesn’t know if Jace ever realized Alec’s feelings but if so, he never let on.

As far as she’s concerned, it's a blessing that Alec had found someone who promised to always be in his corner. Angel knew that Maryse hadn’t done that. She suspects that Jace might have even protected Alec from her on occasion.

Sighing shakily at the thought, Maryse carefully dabs at her eyes, loathe to ruin her makeup.

She’s no longer young. She’s not ancient, is far from being relegated to an old, musty office in the bowels of the Clave’s building in Idris but, still.

Maryse is no longer that frightened eighteen year old or determined twenty five year old.

She’s a grown woman who’s lived enough to have a mountain of regrets and some more besides. There are things she’d do anything to change and so much of that revolves around the man currently dancing in the middle of the crowded ballroom.

If it had been her who’d been subjected to such abuse, Maryse doesn’t think she could forgive her mother. Alec’s always been a surprise, though, and his greatest weakness has always been his family.

How things change, Maryse thinks again. Sometimes when she was being particularly cruel to Alec, there had been a voice in her head, railing at her to stop. Take a deep breath, apologize, try to salvage the relationship that she was ruining with every cutting word and dismissive glance.

She was a terrible mother and her list of faults are never ending. Maryse knows that without a doubt. When Alec had told her about his betrothal to Lydia, Maryse had been over the moon. She’d become someone that she didn’t recognize and all she could see was the Clave’s approval and another line of the family dynasty secured.

It hadn’t mattered to her that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Alec smile. It was of no consequence that she’d known damned well that Alec didn’t love Lydia-- that he couldn’t. She’d seen his sacrifice as the gesture it was and it had warmed her goddamned heart to see Alec rising to the occasion and putting the family’s needs above his own.

The thought sickens her, now. As she watches the scene in front of her, Maryse mourns another incarnation of Alec-- the one who didn’t defy her and choose himself.

Distantly, she hopes that Alec finds Magnus in every universe because it seems such a tragedy to deprive the world of so much happiness-- and her son of so much joy and love and peace.

Alec keeps perfect time to the orchestra’s waltz and he looks so happy that Maryse almost wants to look away. That depth of feeling seems so private and as Maryse studies Magnus, she wonders how she can ever repay the man who stole her son’s heart-- and, quite possibly, saved his life more times than Maryse can ever count.

Her son’s a married man. Maryse feels the past twenty five years dripping through her fingers like golden grains of sand, each one precious even if she was far from the mother her children needed.

She replays a million memories from a kicking stomach in the middle of the night to a laughing baby in the bathtub to a solemn little boy with wide, serious eyes.

Alec grew up and became the man he needed to be, despite Maryse’s best attempts at sabotage.

She can’t ever forgive herself for abandoning Alec-- and Izzy and Max-- when they most needed her. There won’t ever be a time that regret doesn’t strangle her when she thinks of all the ways she messed up and ruined things that she worries can’t ever be repaired.

Working every day to be the mother her children need is the only job Maryse is interested in these days. Taking a sip from her champagne flute, Maryse leans against Luke’s side and relives dozens of memories, mourning the dozens she didn’t care enough to make at the time.

Still, when the waltz ends-- with Alec kissing Magnus to within an inch of his life, much to the wedding guests’ amusement-- Maryse smiles brightly as her son makes his way towards her.

He holds out a hand and Maryse laughs a little as she sets her glass down and takes Alec’s outstretched hand.

Leading her to the middle of the dance floor, Maryse’s ears strain to hear the starting piece of the music. When she does, her eyes fly to Alec, who’s watching her with intent eyes.

An orchestral version of the French lullaby plays for their mother-son dance and Maryse’s eyes tear up as Alec leads them.

“Congratulations, Alec,” Maryse says softly as they take a turn around the room.

She watches as Alec’s face lights up more, if that’s even possible. She sees the way his eyes seek out something across the room and Maryse doesn’t have to follow to know who’s found his attention.

Still, Alec’s gaze snaps back to her a few moments later and he studies her for a moment in a move that makes Maryse the tiniest bit uncomfortable-- Alec’s always had such a serious, prodding stare-- before he smiles.

It’s not a grin. It’s something softer, a faint upturn of his mouth. She’s just getting ready to ask if there’s cake on her face when Alec says softly, “I like your hair down, mom. It makes you look happy.”

The back of Maryse’s throat aches at the words, at the careful delivery as though Alec’s afraid that he’s offended her.

“I am happy,” she replies just a quietly. Alec probably has to strain to hear her over the music and the crowd but Maryse can’t speak louder, doesn’t want to ruin this fragile, lovely moment between them.

“That’s good,” Alec says somberly. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t happy today.”

Taking a bracing breath, Maryse smiles at Alec. It’s bright and real and just a touch nervous. The song ends and the two of them glide to a stop back in the middle of the dance floor. There’s chatter all around them and it feels like they’re the only two people in the world for a minute.

Pulling Alec close, Maryse wraps her arms around her son, holding on with everything she has.

“Of course I’m happy, Alec,” she whispers. “I am so proud of you for fighting for love and today’s one of the best days of my life, seeing my son get his happily ever after.” Pulling back, Maryse swallows her own tears even as she sees one in the corner of Alec’s eye. She wipes it away with a careful thumb, still smiling. “It’s all a mother should want for her son and I feel blessed by the Angel that I was able to see today. I love you, Alec.”

“I love you too, mom,” Alec chokes out and then he’s pulling her close and they’re hugging again.

Maryse doesn’t know how long the two of them stay like that, letting the rest of the world fall away. Alec shifts after a moment, though, and as Maryse looks up, her breath catches.

Her eyes lock with Magnus’s against the room and she watches as he studies the two of them, smiling as he absently sweeps his thumb over the ring that now adorns his finger-- the only ring he’s wearing today.

With a shaky breath, Maryse nods at Magnus. It feels like the passing of a baton, no matter that Alec hasn’t been hers in far longer than she cares to think about.

Still, Magnus nods back, expression serious, and Maryse knows that her son has found a love she can only hope to have one day.

Maryse has a lot of regrets and she knows that she’ll take them to her grave. By the grace of the angel, though, she’s found her way back to where she belongs.

With her family.

For the thousandth time, Maryse promises herself that she won’t ever forsake them again, that she’ll work every day to be the mother her children needed so long ago.

It’s a long way back, she thinks.

But how lucky for her that she has the rest of her life to fix her mistakes and prove to her children just how much she loves them.

And really, Maryse can’t think of any other way that she’d want to spend her life than doing just that.

[biebsimagine]

The World Is Ours

This is just something mediocre to make up for the fact that it’s been so long since I’ve last posted. Enjoy!

Justin stands at the other side of the room, his back straight and the black suit and tie clinging to him perfectly. My heart attempts to escape my ribcages whenever I look at him wearing such a thing, but I’d much rather he be wearing jeans and a T-shirt, just because I know he’d be more comfortable. He nods and smiles every now and then in response to the nonsense leaving the mouth of the man that stands close by him.

I know the smile is fake. It’s tight and hard and doesn't touch his eyes. I watch in adoration when he licks his lips or bites down on his bottom lip, or runs a hand through his hair, I know he’s not even aware he’s doing any of these things.

Justin I both strongly dislike either of our parent’s parties, in fact, we spend many nights laid in bed and suggesting all the scenarios we could create that could get us out of them. But here we are. Again. 

“Oh, [Y/N]!” A voice bellows from the crowd of people dressed in fancy outfits, all of the faces secretly turning their noses up at everyone who so much as brushes their shoulder up against their own.

The voice is nasally and I would assume whoever is calling my name currently has the misfortune of a minor illness if I didn’t know the voice all too well.

“Amanda,” I say through gritted teeth. “How are you?” I ask while turning to my right to face her.

The woman stood before me is a close family friend. She thinks just because she happened to be close with my parents at one point in her life, she has the responsibility of making conversation with me whenever our paths meet. Her hair is cut perfectly and hugs her face. The deep red colour shines through every strand and sways almost in slow motion when she moves her head.

“I’m wonderful,” she slurs. “What about you, dear? What’s new with you?”

Even as she says this, I can guess she’s lying through her teeth. There’s a high chance her husband is cheating on her, and her, on her husband. She’s probably drowning in debt and her children wish they’d never been born. Despite this, she hides it with a smile.

“I’ve been fairly good, thank you,” I say and smile politely. “Not much is new but I’m just trying to appreciate every day.” I try to hold the smile on my face as she nods with a bored look in her eye.

“Rumour has it, you’ve got yourself a boyfriend,” Amanda grins and reaches an arm out as though to touch me, but thinks more of it and withdraws her claws.

‘I didn’t think that was so hard to believe but yes, I do.” I shift uncomfortably in my heels and feel my hand sweating around the wine glass. I alternated it between my hands and wiped my palms against my dress.

“.. Tell me about him,” she says quietly and sips her wine. I can see a red lipstick stain around the rim.

Justin pops into my mind without me having to make an effort. I suppress a smile and find the floor to be quite interesting. “Well, his name is Justin and we met a few years ago at college. He's somewhere around here, actually.”

“I’d love to meet him.” She’s glancing around the room, and it’s painfully obvious she’s searching for a new target to make her own. I stay quiet and wait to see how long it takes before she disappears.

Eventually, I see her catch sight of her husband at the bar. She waves me off with a forced smile before her heels are click-click-clicking across the floor and through the crowd.

Sighing, I look around the room. People are smiling, laughing and enjoying themselves, sipping wine and making conversation. I tap my nails against the glass and enjoy the sound.

My shoes are the next to click against the floor while I make my way over to the long length table backed up against the wall. All sorts of food has been spread across it and I can feel my stomach rumbling at the sight.

“‘Scuse me, kind woman,” someone says - with a distinctly fake-posh accent - from directly behind me. “Would you mind joining me in a delightful conversation about the ten different yachts I own, and how I went backpacking through Antarctica last year? And let’s not forget about how I own five houses in five different states in America.”

“You suck at accents,” I laugh and crane my neck to see Justin grinning down at me. “What even was that?”

“What? That? Oh, just my imitation of just about everyone in this room.” He rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his half-empty glass of wine. “I’m surprised to see muffins and cookies being served here. I thought it’d be all scones and fancy cakes.”

“Me too,” I say while taking a cookie from the silver platter. I break it in half and feel crumbs fall into the palms of my hand. “Want some?”

Feeling Justin’s closeness, I turn to look at him once more. His mouth is parted and it allows me to see his tongue laying low. His breath is hot against my face. I break the cookie into smaller segments and drop a piece into Justin’s awaiting mouth. Crunching noises ring through my ear, and a sweet kiss lands underneath my right ear after the sound comes to a halt.

“I don’t care how stuck up these people are, they make good cookies,” he mutters quietly and it causes a buzz through my neck that lingers for a few seconds.

While he’s busy crunching down on the remaining cookie, Justin is dragged away by a man I’ve never seen, but is apparently familiar to Justin because I see a small sigh leave his lips. Justin kisses my cheek and squeezes my hand before letting go and making his way through the crowd with reluctance.

I’m left alone once more, surrounded by bodies and feeling out of place. I stroll around the room and listen in to small segment of different people’s conversations; they range from cars to time shares to housing, to holidays in the Caribbean. I end up leaning against the wall in the far side of the room.

It takes another hour or so before I see Justin again, having been dragged into encounters of my own with people I barely know.

When Justin makes an appearance, he comes in close and grips my hand with his. I’m pleased to see him and I smile instantly.

“Let’s go,” he says and I frown in confusion.

“What? Whe-“

“Let’s leave right now, anywhere you wanna go. I can’t stand another five minutes with these people. This isn't us. We’re not classy or fancy; we sit at home eating pizza and watching Netflix, we hit the stores at midnight looking for cookie dough, we sit on hotel balconies and feel each other up. I want all of that, not this.”

He didn't have to say anything else to win me over; I’d been feeling the exact same all night.

“Are you in?” he asks and watches me hopefully. I waste no time and nod, and before I can comprehend, my hand is prisoner to Justin’s and we’re gliding in and out of the crowd. I manage to drop my wine glass on the buffet table without spilling anything as I glide passed the it.

Thankfully, we manage to make our way to the door without being noticed or stopped as I thought we would have. I can’t see either of our parents ready to stop us from fleeing either, and this causes a rush of hope to shoot through me that makes me grab the door handle and slide out before Justin does the same.

Almost in a flash, all of the commotion and noise I had to endure over the course of the night disappears. I wonder if I’ve momentarily gone deaf until Justin coughs gently and crushes my rising worry. The night is cold and I can see our warm breath escaping into the night. Justin’s hand keeps my own warm while the rest of my body shivers.

“Where to?” I ask while he’s already busy pulling me down the drive of my parent’s house and across the street. It’s quite late, meaning there’s no one in sight. The street looks frighteningly lifeless.

“Anywhere, just somewhere we can be together,” he replies and his breath flies towards me but disappears before it can touch me.

We end up at a 24-hour store by Justin’s request, his argument being he was hungry, despite having just scoffed anything he could find on the buffet. I didn’t object because I knew I had just enough money in my bag for a drink; my throat was burning for something other than overpriced wine.

The store was the only source of light on the street, it was getting darker by the minute and the streetlights were either broken or not on a schedule and had been abandoned for the night. Either way, I had that familiar thankfulness you feel when you see artificial lights and life after all you’ve seen is darkness for a long period of time. It was comforting.

Behind the counter however, was a man who didn’t seem very happy he was working the night shift. He looked half-dead as we walked through the automatic doors and made no effort to adjust himself to appear friendly.

Justin’s hand had been holding my own all the way to the store, but as soon as we were walking down the aisle full of food, his fingers slid away from my own.

“God, I’m starving,” he mutters while grabbing anything in his sight from the shelves. It’s not long before he’s cradling his items in his arms and walking towards the counter.

Meanwhile, I grab a bottle of water from the chilled section while trailing Justin like a puppy. The packaging crinkles loudly as Justin drops his things and I place my bottle down quietly. The cashier doesn’t look impressed and sighs heavily before straightening up.

Once we’ve paid, and the cashier has received a long, hard stare from Justin after asking him if he’d like a bag, we’re back out in the cool air and strolling off into the darkness. The bag rustles and disturbs the quiet but Justin doesn’t seem to care.

“Where to now?” I ask.

“Wherever we want, babygirl. The world is ours. I just want to be with you,” Justin replies, my heart would have been beating a lot faster if he wasn’t busy rummaging through his bag for the packet of Oreos he’d just bought.