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#i wanted to draw this so bad i didnt even bother drawing it all the way. or all that good khdkjhfkfhfkjh i was MOVED
fauvester · 10 months
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cardassias slutty grandpa…
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dexaroth · 1 year
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it's kind of a fun move to make my very very personal blog also the one I post my drawings on
ive purposefully done it to not create that kind of environment where it's just an account posting art, a one-dimensional abstract thing that's so detached that if I were to post something like 'teehee I tried to off myself so I'm opening comms to pay the bills' it'd be met with utmost surprise bc it'd break the illusion yknow?
but sometimes I do want some drawings to not have context. to be as impersonal as a vintage figure whose sculptor has never been fully known or a golden locket with the picture of someone who you don't know anything about
I want both, to be honest. it's always been a struggle of the need of external validation but also to not want to taint everything with myself
I want to draw a pet portrait for someone and not have it be judged with all the ramblings and half-jokes about how everything sucks every now and then.
I want to draw a guy being mechanically separated for no reason and not have it show up besides someone's pet portrait and having to explain to the average person I don't even know why I like gore so much besides rendering it is fun
it's all like a cycle of making it clear who is behind the art for context but also sometimes wanting everything to speak for itself and wanting a sort of pure reaction to it
and it culminates into that overly familiar feeling.. of wanting to be consistent. to have a feel, a look that you can maybe hope someone will identify as yours.. and the question is always the same - for what? why? why does it matter?
if anything the first thing I'd ever say to someone who remotely showed interest in art and wanted to know my side of it is that nothing matters and everything is subjective and that there will always be people who see too much meaning where there isn't and people who miss the point entirely. and that diversity is just as good as quality and not a binary switch that you have to pick for the rest of your life. and that often by trying to achieve perfection you just end up dumping what gave your art a personal touch because it wasn't absolutely on par with the version of you that you so desperately want people to identify you with or the vibe you want to give off or whatever else
it's kind of a problem that also has different connotations depending on the way wherever you post works, too
on devart and I think insta too favorites and likes are the easiest way to show a kind of support that happens to streamline everything into images on a page instead of actually taking in most detail, the title or description or lack thereof, maybe even a message or line or music lyric intended to aid in the perception.. that ends up getting completely ignored because it takes extra effort to do. and it gets exponentially worse the more people you follow
then, well.. tumblr. because of the way the posts are organized and at least show captions it has a bit of a leg up, but then the sideblog stuff comes up. posts 95% of the time only give traction to the account that posted it, so a sideblog where you reblog your art is pretty much just a gallery for the convenience of whoever follows them. if you post on that sideblog however, then that facilitates no one visiting your main and just looking at the drawings, leading to the art-artist detachment as it is also plenty of extra steps and effort
then, independently, the path you choose is hard to undo. choose to be unknown and be bound to the façade you have to keep and not break your persona, or put all bits of yourself out to the public and there will forever be an image/ background version of you that will contextualize everything you do
try to turn around and choose to hide and it will put people off and affect how some will look at your new stuff now that you're less of a social butterfly because of the instinct of curiosity and wanting to know what happened , choose to show yourself and now you're too real and people don't want to associate with you because of the things you express or how it hits different knowing x and y or just not caring about you enough to be bothered to keep up with your life with sporadic drawings inbetween
it's all ironically about your own self-image and knowing others who know you
oh and it just hit me the financial side of things too. but that's too much for me rn and it's sort of a bonus to my point anyways
idk man. I feel like I'm having a stroke while an influencer tries to explain branding to me
#the public vs hidden thing is also like trying to balance the evils#do you want to enable being made fun of by quirky neurotypicals and edgelords bc of ur 'archetype'#or do you want to enable everyone to put any meaning to your art including dogshit ones and treat it like a commodity#public enough to have your name or style used pejoratively to describe other people#or hidden enough to blend in and represent nothing and say nothing. just like a blank piece of paper#these two sort of types are everywhere and there just doesnt seem to be a grey area. its just.... awkward.#ah yes look at my painting and tell me what you think of it! dont take me into consideration at all though. pretend this came out of thin>#>air bc thats how i want it to be perceived. bc of course we all know thats a thing that can be controlled by sheer will right? lol#i want to draw whatever. i want to stop giving a shit. not care of what people think its all about. but i want to be seen as well. ..#and its frustrating bc i find it immeasurably valuable to find meaning in the mundane#to find the whimsy and care on someone's 'bad' stickman cat doodle even tough sketches dont mean barely anything to the artist#and then i get sad when someone below my skill level finds My sketches good despite me posting them as a 'look at how bad this looks lol'#just. being desperate for wanting everything to go your way#like a filmmaker who swears the theater is an integral part of their movie when in reality a guy watching at home cherishes it just as much#i think id turn inside out of disgust if i ever truly legitimally considered all the 'wrong' ways people can experience my art#compressed to hell or they just didnt bother to zoom in and didnt notice the brushstrokes and effects#which is totally normal and common and i myself do it! but my ego says nuh uh. go feel bad bc other ppl have agency lol#i can definitely pretend i dont care anymore and even try to believe it so much i unconsciously start assimilating it#but the Moment someone comments something that contradicts what i thought and wished was happening i just. break .#im truly trying to stave off negative thoughts and teaching myself that what others think of me doesnt define me#and one day im overhearing something i wasnt meant to know and its that someone thinks im a child#and ends up treating me like one. like im too stupid to do anything#and then i look back at my eyestrain/cartoonish stuff thats in fact considered childish by people who try to use age as>#a token of 'i dont enjoy X because X is for kids because/therefore im an AdulT! respect me!'#and i just have to face the reality that thats the image of me my art gives off by itself and what society chose it to symbolize as well#which it all leads to wanting so deeply a way to control how others view you because of how age gate-keeping for example is so stupid#and it bleeds into every other feeling and paranoia and self doubt#either you act cool and lie about who you are or let others label you what they see fit especially what they consider to be deserving of>#>ridicule#dextxt
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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bahrtofane · 4 months
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here we go again - pt.1
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pt. 2 , pt.3
jude x fem!reader , trent x fem!reader
empty promise after another leaves you walking in the cold. alone. on valentines day. youre never speaking to another player again.
word count : 1K+
watch it : mild fluff, heavy on the angst, situationships, toxic relationships, Jude is kinda an ass in this one sorry, not very happy ending
happy valentines day LOL
—--
you and Jude have a complex history, complex relationship. 
you aren't officially together but at the same time you are exclusive. it's odd, but it's what works at the moment, (even if you wish he would just grow the balls to make you his already.)
you get he's a busy guy, top player both club and international. you aren't going to force him to choose you or make him get with you while his career is soon about to peak. 
your wishes for more soon fade into the background as he presses gentle kisses into your skin. he called you a few hours prior, wondering if you wanted to keep him company while he binges movies and orders you a pizza. you said yes, maybe a little foolishly. but it's hard to stay away from him. 
he's addicting. maybe it's a rush of being with someone whose whole existence is so grand. maybe it's the fact of knowing you have what millions of others crave for. you don't know, you try not to read into the intricacies. bad habit. 
so here you are, face pressed up against his chest while you lay side by side on this stupidly large couch, action movie playing, your pizza done, belly full and body warm. 
"what are you thinking about love?" he mumbles. 
"you." you shrug.
"me ?" he chuckles. 
you hum, wiggling deeper into the pile of blankets. 
"i've been thinking about you. and us." he confesses, almost shy. the movie playing in front of you has long fizzled out of your attention. 
hey might as well rip the band aid off. 
"me too," you hum, "why aren't we official again?"
you feel him sigh dramatically, "because my career."
you squint. there goes the same lousy explanation. "you could put more i don't know, thought into us."
he shifts under the blankets , "valentine's day is coming up. dont worry love i have it all planned out." he assures you. 
"oh yeah ?" you tease
"just you wait, the best valentine's day ever." he kisses the top of your head soundly.
—--
worst fucking valenties day of your life. you don't remember being more livid a day in your life. you cant remember the last time so much pure rage burned through you, hot enough to hurt. you didn't think it was humanly possible to clench your fist so tight youve dug into your palm hard enough to draw blood. 
your head hurts, your legs hurt, you think your arm is starting to bruise from where you were shoved into a table on "accident" but what would Jude know. he was so busy taking pictures with models and laughing at corny jokes while you kept yourself company. texting and calling didnt work and he didn't even try to give you any attention the whole night, you can't keep doing this with him. 
"you can't just run off-" Jude shouts from somewhere behind you. 
"or what Jude. or fucking what." you seeth, not bothering to face him, storming out into the night. 
It's your fault for trusting him all those nights ago. your fault for falling for the same shit over and over. 
he sprints to catch up to you, "i don't know why you're being like this."
you stop dead in your tracks, "oh i don't know, let's think. you didn't tell me your escorts would be there. and to top it all fucking off they have to nerve to be on my ass the whole night, not letting me get anywhere near you even through we walked in together?"
he doesn't respond and you half the mind not to punch the shit out of him, walking further away from the club you just came from, heels clanking against the sidewalk so hard it hurts, pulling on your dress so you dont trip and fall. maybe you should let it go so you can fall flat on your face. that would be a better ending to the night than seeing his face. silly stupid you thinking this would work. 
"happy fucking valentines day huh Jude. you take me to a damn club, you ignore me the whole night, and you spend all your time surrounded by other women who might as well just suck you off right then and there." you yell, hell if anyone hears. you want them too, you want him to be as humiliated as you feel. 
Bellinghams date thrown away the moment you step inside, ignored and tossed for some common whores. oh you can't wait to see where your face ends up online after tonight. you can see the headlines now. 
he grabs your arm, making you face him, "love listen-"
"no, you dont get to fucking do that anymore. you cant keep sweet talking your way out of things when you fuck up. why can't you just pretend to care" your voice shakes, you can feel tears brimming in your eyes.
"i'm not trying to talk my way out of it, i'm trying to explain." he tries.
you yank your arm out of his grip, "i'm not listening anymore, im done. all i asked was one day for us, just valentines day to make things work. and you showed me you dont care enough for that." 
"please, let me fix this." he pleads.
"its too late."
"i wanted things to work so fucking bad, and you humiliated me Jude. i imagined a nice dinner, hell i would have settled for take out and a few kisses. that's how bad i want things to work, that's how bad i wanted you." you tremble. 
"please my darling. let's talk about this. come back inside and i'll show everyone that you are mine," he holds a hand out to you, waiting. silently pleading with each breath he takes. 
the street lights dance across his skin as for a moment you almost believe him. for a moment you think about stepping back inside with him. you can't do that to yourself, not again. 
"no, iim done. don't follow me, don't call me dont text nothing. i want nothing more to do with you." your firm, final. swallowing the lump that builds in your throat, youd be damned if he sees you cry after this fucking shit show.
he stops in his tracks at this, not bothering to try and stop you. 
it hurts more than it should to leave him behind you, but you honest to god can not keep up with his lifestyle. 
all those articles and rumors were right you suppose, he's an arrogant stuck up bastard with too much money to know what to do with, too cocky for his own good and destroys anything good that comes his way. you hope he's happy without you. 
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skaluli · 24 days
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half ass tuefort because i want to draw backgrounds but i cant draw backgrounds
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solider doodle that i was then gonna make a """finish piece""" out of but when i started doing the thinner/"cleaner" lineart it looked worse so i didnt even attempt finish/colour/etc it. i just wanted to draw a bunch of stickers and junk on his helmet.
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more mlp x tf2 i still need to do refs of everyone i cant remember if i posted my big sketch of all of them so uhhh have some very old and rough shit
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and me somewhat explaining my ideas for each concept
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this was my draft reply to someone asking about it on instagram. yes i have to draft my long replies/responses so i can re read it a million times before sending it a day later because i forgot im not talking to myself in a void.
i just realised now, did i never upload my demoman kirin here??
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shits one of my favourites my bad people. drawn back at the start of feb.
also third image with the single balloon pyro whats next to it is an idea i had for a pyro oc
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a lot of stickers, a lot of sparkles the colours still need work so thats probably why i stopped doing it
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more pony, dragon pyro with clipped wings. also the idea instead of solider having his normal army helmet he has the armor from the crystal pony king sombra war
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i love how i say i have nothing to post only to realise i technically do, i just dont share it with anyone lmao
i cant be bother to find all the dates in which i drew these. just know that theyre old by a few months to like the start of the year(??)
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anonymous-eggy · 6 months
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Quest with an artist Mc
bc i cant stop thinking ab himb....
i wrote this very impulsively so. yeah. theres a bit of horny towards the end, but theres also fluffy sweet things
• he learns of you being an artist when you find the time to create bloomic fanart.
• and you got endless showers of praise from him on how good it was (especially if the fanart included Xander)
• he just thinks its so neat. his artistic expression of choice is poetry, so he's not much of an artist when it comes to drawing.
• he can draw some basic flowers, but thats where his talents end.
• no matter your usual art media, buy gold (body safe) paint and paint his scars. kind of like how you paint the cracks of repaired pottery and such? except make it a vulnerable bonding experience.
• he has many scars all around his body from past accidents and gang related violence.
• i feel like he gets really insecure about them sometimes and worries theyll make you think too much about his past
• but seeing you turn them into something golden and beautiful with such ease and affection... gives him a new appreciation for those parts of him.
• he loves it even more when you connect nearby scars like intricate rivers of gold flowing across his body.
• make sure you fill the comfortable silence with lovely soft words of affirmation and kisses every now and then for the best results.
• absolutely call him your golden boy.
• the only issue is that he feels really bad for having to eventually wash them off.
• so take pictures and send them to him for just you two to hold onto ;)
• despite feeling bad about washing them off, he always feels so much better about his scars and body.
• and let him know this is exactly how you see his scars <3
• i feel like during times when you're not able to paint on him because of a late shift or something, he just looks back at the pictures and replays the soft memories for comfort.
• this is more towards the beginning of your relationship with him, when his insecurities about his past bothering you were the worst
• moving on from that, he is the perfect man to reference.
• he would find it so very funny if you ever complained about parts of him that are hard to draw.
• i could imagine just sitting there watching him work out and just... drawing the way his muscles flex and the way his body bends... dear lord those thighs...
• when you first did this, he immediately noticed. he didnt quite have the courage to ask if you were drawing him (after all, forms of art are very personal things)
• but when he sees you're staring at the sketchbook page more than him, he decides to take a break and ask you.
• not because he's getting jealous of the notebook. hes not a jealous person. the curiosity just takes over because the stares mean you're stuck on smthn or you're finished.
• and boy is he beyond flattered. flustered even.
• he's never really... thought much about himself. physically and mentally. so the fact that he's worth being sketched touches his very soul.
• if you're the type of artist who loves gushing over defined shapes and begin to ramble about the shapes that you love about him, his cheeks will be red and he will patiently listen to every word you have to say.
• as weird as it is to listen to someone describe his physical features with such passion, there's something special about the way you talk about it.
• especially if you suddenly realize what you're saying and get flustered.
• he likes feeling like art when its you. he loves the way you map out his body and turn the shapes of him into strokes of graphite poetry.
• .... he wouldnt mind if you drew him suggestively as well... so long as its for your eyes and his eyes only...
• of course there would be teasing about just how much you seem to adore his body, but never in a way that deters you from sketching him more.
• which, knowing Quest, his teasing quickly veers into horny territory. at the very least deep kisses.
• he says he just want to "give you more inspiration" and that "its his job as your muse"
• he definitely develops a fixation on your hands specifically. the way your hands trace his body delicately as if trying to memorize every line of him while making out with him on his lap.
• it absolutely drives him insane.
• the way his large hands encircle your wrist while his fingers press on your palms in bed. or when his fingers tangle with yours. and he can see you looking at it. memorizing every moment of it. of him. of the emotions tied to the image.
• that part he loves the most about your art. the pure emotion of it captured so perfectly
• oh yeah it definitely awakens something in him. especially if he finds you sketching those the next day peacfully at your desk.
• honestly i think you being an artist just changes the way he sees things. in the best of ways.
• he also finds himself massaging your hands absent mindedly while cuddling. and softly kissing them... they work so hard and he wants to take care of them for you.
• he is just so very happy to be your favorite muse.
~sigh. time to make a Blooming Panic section on my masterlist...
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sweet-luv-club · 4 months
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✎ breastfeeding m! Kylar like he deserves ♡
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. . . ˚✧.⊹ tags ⊹⁺. ೀ
2.5k words (wow im a horny bastard), informal writing, m! Kylar with cock, unprotected p in v sex, unrealistic sex, Kylar is a very submissive and pathetic (/affectionate) top, lactating pc from cow transformation, BIG GIANT TATAS and AFAB anatomy terms. u got coochie n it'll b called cunt and pussy but Kylar doesn't call u by either feminine terms or masculine terms so it's,,, gender-neutral reader-ish??
. . . ⋆ ꮺ˚⊹ notes ⊹ ༘˚
WHY BOTHER HAVING A BREAST MILK MECHANIC IF U CANT GIVE IT TO ANY OF THE LOVE INTERESTS... SMH VREL GET ON IT /LH also dis is a shoutout to da fellow transmascs like me that don't mind hvin big tatas 2 feed kylar <33 my first full fic i tink!! enjoy!!!
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♡ ┆ u 2 are on a date at the park as usual. when u casually suggest it, his brain just stops working. his mouth hangs open and u have to shake him to snap him out of it. 
"uhh, haha, sorry, darling... c-could you repeat that?"
with a smirk, you do. you lean in and suggest going somewhere private so he could enjoy your milk directly from the source. all the blood in his cheeks rush to his cock almost immediately. he is so down bad for u, he's fucking floored u even suggested it.
♡ ┆ he gets more cocky, confident, and possessive during sex, but at this point, he's only squeezed your chest so far, not sure how he could even begin to explain himself. he’s seen u lactate when u cum, he just didnt know if it was overstepping a boundary to just dive in. its early into the relationship so he doesnt know if youre comfortable with that part of your bovine biology. hes a perv but hes also a polite boy!!  well... most of the time ♡ he couldnt just walk up to u and say i want ur milk babe, you deserve better than that, he just didnt know how to ask... so ofc he's over the moon you're the one who brought it up
♡ ┆ absolutely solidifies in his mind that you're an angel sent from heaven to protect him and love him
♡ ┆ he's a stinky little anime nerd /pos. pre-relationship, after you saved him from bullies, he draws u and ur cute fluffy cow ears and massive anime-like tits in all sorts of erotic ways. does all the hentai tropes. fists his needy, leaky cock at night to the drawings he's made of u. when you start dating, it was like he was walking on cloud 9 when you wanted to recreate some of his erotic drawings (bc ofc u pushed to see his sketchbook when he mentioned it was full of only u lol)
♡ ┆ cant go to the manor, kylar isnt comfy w that yet. cant be in pc’s bedroom, kylar doesnt even want a single chance of someone who knows you and lives with you to see u giving him milk, it's his and only his in sight, sound,,, and ofc taste. hed get jealous if other orphans u live with saw yall doing it, bc if they see he thinks theyre never gonna forget the sight..... which could lead 2 all sorts of trouble since they live with u and he doesnt. he wants it to only be his even in memory. PATHETIC /POS so yalls only option is a cheap-ass love hotel. maybe someday youll fuck somewhere nicer but this’ll have to do… not to mention kylar is thrumming w/ excitement. he’s fucking trembling at the mere thought of getting to taste your sweet milk, directly from your heavy chest which was always tempting him… PATHETIC /POS (1)
♡ ┆ at first, kylar cant get his bearings. he sits next to u on the bed, hands politely on his lap while his cock strains against his pants. hes strangely silent until u snap him out of it with a kiss on the cheek. “ah… d-darling, you don’t know how much this means to me.” he says in a shaky voice. you chuckle and slowly begin to lift your shirt, making sure to give him a show. the way your heavy tits laden with the milk he craves always looked like they were spilling out, your bra barely being able to hold them back never failed to do a number on kylar’s psyche. 
♡ ┆ ”c’mon, you’ve already seen me lactate. get me wet first, babe, then it’ll come out.” you tease as you unclasp your bra effortlessly and toss it to the side, your tits swaying with every movement you make. kylar is hypnotized. just a lot of spacing out in general until you two really get into it.
♡ ┆ your back is laid on the bed, and Kylar moves to get your pants and panties off. the sight never fails to make him breathless. he figures the quickest way to taste your sweet milk is to eat you out, so he does, very diligently. he dives in and devours your pussy like a man starved, he does this every time. he just can’t believe someone as perfect as you would willingly give yourself to him, and he wants to show his gratitude properly, always…
♡ ┆ this mf latches onto your cunt with an intense need and desperation. not only is he making his beloved feel good, he’s working to get your milk flowing as well… it makes him especially ravenous. licking up and sucking on your sensitive folds, using his hands to part your lips and plunge his tongue into you deeper… when you pat his fluffy, unkempt hair and moan… “fuuuuck yes, that’s it, good boy…” he goes absolutely ballistic in his brain. it goes w/o saying that he has a praise kink, loves giving and receiving it. he’s especially emboldened when he feels his head sandwiched between the softness of your thighs, he’s going delirious with need at this point, eyes all half-lidded and bleary, focused on nothing but lapping up the fluids your cunt makes. he's fucking groaning against your folds, can't get enough of your sweet taste. his cock is straining to be free right now, but your pleasure takes precedence.
♡ ┆ eventually, he takes your clit into his mouth and sucks hard, tongue swirling around it as he’s making you scream. “K-Kylar!!” it fills him with a sick thrill, like he’s letting all the strangers in this damn sleazy love hotel know that he’s the one making his darling cry out with pleasure. he pulls back for a moment, a string of saliva connecting between your cunt and his lips to smirk confidently at you. “that’s it, darling, let it all out.” he says, as he’s licking a broad stripe up your pussy, “let them all hear how much you love what i’m doing to you.”
♡ ┆ the moment he sees your tits drip with milk, he unlatches his mouth from your cunt with a soft pop, halting the intense suctions for now. his eyes sparkle with curiosity and hunger, seeing you laid out on the bed with your cheeks flushed, mouth hung agape from moaning so much just does something to his fucked up brain. he wastes no time capturing a nipple into his mouth and giving a hard suck, groaning when your milk hits his tastebuds. it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted…
♡ ┆ he kneads at your tit, trying to coax more and more milk out of you as your cow ears flicker atop your head. needless to say, he’s getting off on your moans, the taste of your creaminess, and the softness of your chest… he loves it. all of this, it’s only for him and him alone. he laminates your nipple with spit using his tongue, moaning as he drinks up every last drop. keeping a hand on your pussy, he gently bites down, making you yelp, yet he also felt your cunt twitch at the action… that gives him an idea for later. he shows love to your other breast, licking up all of the milk that had been dripping off to the side as his fingers rub at your pussy, the slick sounds making his head spin. his breaths are heavy and erratic as it fans over your exposed skin, adding a layer of eroticism from his desperation being conveyed this way. 
♡ ┆ finally… the moment he’d been waiting for. he releases his mouth and cups both of your heavy breasts, pressing them close together and sucking on both your nipples at the same time. wow… just like in his hentai mangas. the sensation makes you feel embarrassed, but you can’t deny how good it feels, either… as his fingers dig into your plush, large chest, he suckles, licks, and bites, doing anything to get more milk into his mouth again. some of it drips in between your chest, and it gives him a devious idea…
♡ ┆ he retreats for now, taking a finger to swipe up a drop of milk on his chin and lick it, a crazed hunger in his green eyes. he pulls down his pants and boxers… out comes his cock, blushed at the tip and leaky with pre-cum. “darling… would you be willing to hold up your chest for me, please?” he asks in a sweet voice, and you comply without question. you already knew what he was planning without him having to outright say it.
♡ ┆ he holds the sides of your breasts securely and moves up on the bed, positioning himself under your chest. you feel something hard underneath your boobs… and without further ado, Kylar thrusts his cock in. he moans so loud, breathing sooo heavily as he pistons his hips… he’s just in pure disbelief. the milk that had dripped between your chest earlier aids him in creating a slick passage between your pillowy tits. it takes him all his willpower to not immediately cum… which he inevitably fails. his cock splatters all over your chest, and a little bit gets on your face. “ah…!! i-oh no, i’m so sorry… i couldn’t help it, it just felt too good…” he pouts with a voice whinier than usual. you reassure him that it’s more than okay with a sultry smile, and you collect his cum with your fingers, licking it all up.
♡ ┆ the sight of you doing that of your own volition without him even asking to… grrr he’s going feral! and he realized you hadn’t cum once! that just won’t do. so while waiting for his cock to stiffen up again, he pulls out and lowers himself back down and thrusts a finger into your dripping entrance. he gets off on the sound of your moans, and he reaches down to take a nipple into his mouth again, the dual sensation of kylar’s suction and his finger curling inside you driving you mad. he establishes a rhythm with both actions, and it’s not long before he adds another finger into you, the squelching noises from your naughty pussy tempting him making his cock twitch back to life very quickly. as your inner walls tighten around his fingers, he searches desperately for your sweet spot while feverishly lapping up any milk from your breasts. and finally… he finds that one gummy mass inside you and just absolutely goes to town on it, making you cry out loudly. he reluctantly detached himself from your tit, and as his fingers were pressing down on your sweet spot, he held his hand firmly over your pubic mound, pressing down and quickening the pace of his fingers going in and out of you. it’s not long before you scream his name and cum on his fingers, soaking his hand in your precious nectar… not to mention your chest flowing with milk as well.
♡ ┆ he’s now hard again… and you take a moment to catch your breath. he’s too impatient this time, however, he wants to thrust into you now. you feel his cock press against your overly sensitive entrance but you manage to gently push him down onto the bed to take control of the situation. “ah ah ah. not so fast.  just came, ya horndog.” you tease lightly, while kylar groans and pouts. you reach down and press a kiss to his lips, your tongues meeting each other once again as they get entangled. you taste a hint of your own milk. kylar can feel your breasts pressing up against him, the weight making him get more needy and feverish with his kissing. his breath hitches when you start grinding your cunt onto him, tip of his cock leaking with cum onto his tummy as your pussy presses down on it. your hips buck back and forth on top of him as you take control, allowing yourself to rest while keeping kylar sated.
♡ ┆ when you’re finally ready to have sex, you teasingly bounce your cunt on the tip of his cock, and you see tears in his eyes. “pc- my love, come, on, let me in, pleasepleaseplease- ah!!” 
his babbling is interrupted by you finally giving him what he wants. as your velvety walls sink down onto him, threatening to overwhelm his senses, you press your breasts onto his face. “you know what to do.” you say with a flirtatious smirk. kylar immediately gets the memo, he’s been dying to do this since you first saved him. he latches onto your nipples and tugs down at your breasts while you start bouncing your pussy on his cock, the dual sensations driving you both mad.
♡ ┆ you’re expertly riding him as he whimpers helplessly beneath you, humping into him so hard the headboard slams into the wall from your passion. his mouth is overflowing with your milk like he wanted… his brain is just melting, much to your delight. your cow tail swishes behind you playfully as he grabs your plush hips and thrusts up into your movements, the sounds of your moans and wet slapping reverberating in the room. 
♡ ┆ the warmth and softness of your cunt makes him wanna cum again. poor boy… he was never good at lasting long. “kylar, hold yourself back right now or else i’m pulling myself off.” you tease, but he takes that to heart and whines in disappointment. “i’ll be good… i’ll be good, pc, i promise, just please dont, ah… leave me!” you smile at him. “i’m not leaving you dummy, ever.”
neuron activation time……. his eyes widen in disbelief as affection floods his heart. he grips your hips more firmly, thrusting up into you at such an animalistic pace that the poorly constructed bed almost sounds like it'll break. the plush of your ass bounces back on his lap, and it makes him grit his teeth trying to hold back. he has a fire in his eyes, as if his life’s whole purpose now was to make you cum on his cock. he bites down on a nipple like earlier and feels your cunt clench around him. he alternates between bites and hard sucks as his hips thrust desperately upward while you struggle to keep riding him. “that’s a promise, okay? dont! ever! leave! me!” he punctuates each word with a thrust deep into your womb, hell-bent on breeding you. 
♡ ┆ it’s not long before stars crowd around your eyes as you two climax together with your own loud moans, his semen flooding the depths of your warmth while your own cum coats his cock and drips down to his balls. your milk drips down your breasts again, and even though kylar is weak, he still manages to find it in himself to lick it up. as you catch your breaths, you two giggle conspiratorially, pressing your foreheads together and exchanging words of pure love and affection for one another… right before going back in for another round. you two rented out this room for an extended period of time, after all.
♡ ┆ now kylar takes whatever opportunity he can to bite and suck on your precious chest, pulling you in school closets or dark alleyways just so he can have a taste of your milk.
♡ ┆ ofc it’s not long until you both rent out a room at the hotel again, you going along with one of his crazy hentai recreations. it ends up with him on your lap and you, jerking off his sensitive cock, rubbing his pre-cum all over his shaft as he has his fill of your milk.
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nerves-nebula · 9 days
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I fucking adore your comic panelling, any advice on how to do it? Like specific ratios or ways to divide the page?
god there's so much advice i COULD give but i really dont wanna end up writing a book here. so I guess I'll say this: however you divide the page you should be CONSISTENT with it, i literally just learned/internalized this but it's made comic paneling soo much easier. when you break that consistency it will be more impactful. hold up lemme grab some pages.
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so i recently started making loose stitches a 4 tier comic. it's not the exact same for each page cuz i'm lazy but i think it's made legibility way better. before i think it was kinda uhhhhh a little all over the place. not BAD but a little difficult to tell where your eyes supposed to go sometimes. which isnt great for a commic.
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the page on the left in particular has always bothered me cuz i always read the top panels incorrectly and it's like. fuck man what is the paneling here why is it in two columns ????? that's so hard to understand. but the page on the right can be more or less easily understood (by someone who knows how to read comics) even without panel borders because it's just a simple 4 panel square.
one thing my comic professor really stressed was that he didn't like weird paneling or weird borders. for the most part, a square is fine. AND HE'S RIGHT. weird paneling is fun and cool but should be used sparingly or with intention, cuz if you do it too much then like. how tf are ppl gonna read your comic.
that being said there are a lot of cool ways to cut up panels even if they're just squares hold on lemme grab some examples
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so the panels here are all square but the image in the one at the bottom is almost like a mural. one thing i really like to using is a lot of heavy BLACK, what can i say silhouette's have my entire heart.
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in my fable comic, I used a 3 tier system. it wasn't the same exact size across all pages but all pages had 3 tiers of paneling. that way i can be a little more flexible with the SIZE of the panels to emphasize the more important things, without it feeling like it's all over the place
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meanwhile in my comic final i used a 4 tier system where each tier was nearly the same across every page, but you can collapse tiers together for establishing shots and big reveals so that they're more impactful. it's still fully within the grid system I set up so it doesn't feel like it's messing with shit either.
ok i just spent a lot of time rambling about this one particular concept and it's probably not even what you wanted to hear about :') i didnt even go into ratios or anythinggg guhhhh sowwy
other than all that i'd just say you gotta keep looking at what comic artists have written and take note of how they use space and cut things up. there's this book called How To Read Nancy and it has all these exercises for understanding the building blocks of nancy. for real the author is OBSESSIVE and goes through everything of a 3 panel nancy strip from body language to spot blacks to the minutia of the background. we used this book in my class and did some of the exercises in the back and i think it's really good at getting you to THINK about what you're drawing. and you can easily pirate it if you're broke.
also try to make sure things dont get stagnant on a page. zoom out if you're only doing close ups (i try to make sure every page of loose stitches has at least one full body shot even tho I'm lazy and wanna just do talking heads- talking heads arent interesting!!)
also, take advantage of the fact you're drawing a COMIC. you can do shit in comics that you can't do in other mediums, try to implement them when u can! ALSO PRACTICE. you're not gonna get better just by reading and watching. you gotta do it lol. ok ok that's enough and you didn't even ask for that stuff you asked about PANELING sfdasfsd byeee
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andreaheartscats · 11 months
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Sally Face Headcanons
-comfort Sally Face Headcanons because my feelings got hurt :')
possible TW: scars/ mention of self harm.
Sal Fisher
× he is great at comforting people let me just say that first.
× if youre crying he would hold you close to him and let you pour your heart out.
× at first he would be a little awkward not knowing what to do but then he would just hug you and hold you tight whispering comforting words to you such as
"itll be okay" "im here for you now dont worry" etc..
× he cares a lot so if anyone hurt your feelings like your boyfriend/ girlfriend / partner, he would go BATSHIT crazy and be very overprotective of you.
× so once you are done crying he would offer you some tissues/ watch a movie/ go ghost haunting/ or something like that to get your mind off of whatever was bothering you
× he is a great hugger!
× he would let you cry into his shirt not caring if you get it wet.
× if you have sh scars, he would draw over them and or kiss them. He would draw little stars, hearts or cats.
- a little scenario here:
you were at your apartmant, blade in your hand. Your eyes full of tears as your face and eyes got all puffy and red from crying. Your wrists were stinging with red lines across them wondering where did all go wrong, thoughts flying through your head unable to hear anything or anyone as everything was just too much for you to handle at this point.
Sal was worried about you, he noticed that you werent yourself for the past few days and it bothered him a lot. He tried calling you but you didnt answear your phone or his texts. He decided to go check up on you in your apartmant room. Trembling a little with fear not knowing what would he walk into he knocked on thr door a few times waiting for a response. Yet no one opened. A little more worried he knocked again, this time a bit more louder and aggressive. Yet again no answear.
He opened the door as it was unlocked and walked in hearing little sobs coming from the bathroom. Sal rushed to the noise and there he saw you, on the bathroom floor. Blade in your hand, eyes full of tears and wrist bleeding. Without saying a word he sat down next to you snapping the blade from your hand and holding you tight as tears started to form in his own eyes. He didnt bother saying anything as he just held you close him letting you sob into his shirt.
Once you were done pouring your eyes out he looked at you cupping your cheeks in his hands as he managed to mumble the words "why..?" you didnt say anything. He then took a deep breath opening one of the cabinets and taking the first aid kit to bandage your wrist up. He cleaned your cuts as you wince a little at the pain. Slowly he put bandages around your wrist as he hugged you once more but this time you didnt let go for a while.
× after this scenario you two were laying on the couch, your head against his shoulder as he held you :)
(i am SO sorry if this was bad i honestly tried my best to make this scenario as good as possible consdiring that this was my first time writing something like this, also please keep in mind english isnt my first laungage!)
Larry Johnson
× poor guy doesnt really know how to comfort people but he tries his best
× he would hug you tight, sometimes even too tight (lol)
× he would let you know that he is here for you and even if he is not too good at comforting he is definitely a good listener
× but if you didnt want to talk at the moment he would alsk respect that. So then instead he would play some music in the background and let you get yourself cozy in one of his bean bags giving you some tissues and food if you wanted.
× consdiring the fact that he doesnt know how to comfort people he would just sit across from you a little awkwardly but mind you he cares deeply about you and just wants to help you but doesnt really know how.
× if you ask him to bring you anything while you were all depressed and sad that boy would RUN and i mean full on sprint to please you and give you what you asked him to.
× and if you needed a hug, he would not only hug you that guy would full on cuddle you. Letting you lay on his chest as he held you close to him, his arms wrapped around your waist letting you peacfully and comfortably lay on him/fall asleep.
× lets say you did fall asleep, he would not dare to move, AT ALL and i mean it. even of he had to jse the bathroom or something he wouldnt dare to move and wake you up from your dream.
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note : i apologize if this was a little depressing (yea no shit it was) but i hope you liked it and if youre struggling with anything such as your mental health, please seek out some help! or you can just dm me i have no problem with that :)
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razzmothazz · 3 months
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wxs physical build headcanons for me to draw later!!
before and way later on after joining wxs edition
cw: mention of a lot of different eating habits and small mentions of body image issues
TSUKASA!!
before: a bit underweight, i imagine he got a bit too into eating "healthy" at times and would refuse a lot of foods he deemed unhealthy, which caused him to not get certain nutrients at times even tho he needed them, add to that his forgetfulness especially when it comes to taking care of himself and you can see why hes skinny like that. i also imagine he would often burn more calories than he consumed in a day with all his practicing and just running around in general, which is definetly not that good when youre already underweight. he would often wonder why he seemingly just cant gain any muscle and assumed its just kinda how he naturally is, tho he didnt mind much since his build was similar to a lot of his idols
after: he gained some healthy weight!!!! yippieee!!! with wxs constantly reminding him to take care of himself + with emu bringing some food/snacks nearly everyday he gained some healthy weight, hes now pretty average with maybe a bit of chub in some places. he also finally started building some muscle thanks to all the practice and ruis "training"? if you can call it that? he does get a bit insecure about it at times, wishing he would be back to his build that was like his idols, but wxs are quick to remind him that the best star is a happy and healthy one!! his natural state definitely wasnt skinny, at least not as skinny as he was before
NENE!!!!!
before: you already know she was malnourished and looked like she barely saw the light of day... she had a very weak appetite and her horrible sleep schedule didnt help. she tried to eat well but she struggled with it a lot, tho she never exactly knew why, she would just very quickly feel full and wouldnt feel hungry untill way too many hours later. she would eat like. 2 small meals a day and maybe some snacks in between.
after: you guessed it she gained weight and is chubbier!!!!!! yayayyaa!!!! i think she would hear others motivate tsukasa to eat better and seeing him want to improve on that motivated her to do the same. because of the low appetite thing she struggled pretty hard at first but with time she managed to figure it out and now eats more and is feeling good!!! this is thanks to mostly emu who would love to bring foods and snacks nene loved so they can share it any time the 2 would hang out, but also thanks to the practices and stamina building she was able to kinda feel like she was burning the unnecessary calories? i imagine she struggled pretty hard when she realized how much weight she put on thinking its a bad thing, but with a lot of support and care from wxs she realized this is way healthier for her than wherever she had going on before!!! she doesnt gain muscle easily tho, so not much of that going on + she does focus more on stamina itself rather than gaining muscle and physical strength
EMU!!!!!
before: chubby, obviously. fat even!!!! definetly overweight and not bothered by it at all! she definetly thinks it makes her look cuter :3 my girl loves foods and snacks and nobody can ruin her mood for those. she also had a fair bit of muscle and liked that its not visible so shes strong but nobody can tell, and she can suprise them with it for funsies
after: still pretty much the same!! tho since she started training and working out even more i imagine a bit of her weight turned into more muscle, so shes even more muscle now!!!! she loves it!!! its still not visible unless she flexes, which makes the muscles pretty prominent and she LOVES jumpscaring people with that because nobody expects it for some reason, despite how athletic she is. besides her arms i imagine her legs are pretty built as well seeing how much she runs, especially from one school to another in a matter of minutes to visit her friend. what can i say my girl loves to eat and run around!!! her love language is soooo sharing a meal with her friends btw. its canon i just know it.
RUIIII!!!!!
before: barely eats doesnt sleep much, just a mess honestly. he doesnt rlly have friends atp and yet still he takes care of others more than he does himself..... needless to say hes tall, lanky, underweight as hell and palest of them all despite not staying inside all that much. lives off of whatever his parents make him if he remembers to eat it and random store bought/school cafeteria foods. malnutrition for sure too like fym u eat no vegetables and ur fine??? bro doesnt even take any vitamins atp to make up for it
after: gained a bit of weight!! hes still skinny because thats just kinda how he naturally is, but hes getting tricked into eating veggies or at least stuff that can replace veggies with the needed nutritions otherwise. he also started taking some vitamins to make up for that too, and despite being naturally pale he did tan a bit!! he still forgets to eat way too often but wxs make up for it with tsukasa always being willing to share his food with him [at times even bringing bigger portions just in case rui needs it] and emu often bringing food to share with them all!!!!
can u tell im a little bit obsessed with gaining weight as a sign of healing. because i am and i love that trope. with the power of love you will stop being underweight and malnourished god bless.
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alciedoodles · 1 year
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Hey Neyla! I hope it’s ok that I ask but is there a brush setting you prefer on procreate? I’ve been inspired by your art for eons but I can’t comprehend photoshop. You can totally disregard this if you don’t use procreate though!
Hello! I don't know how long this message's been sitting in my inbox because i didnt check in for a while 🥺 I hope you get to see this either way!
I don't use procreate unfortunately, but I can explain the settings I use for my brushes on CSP in general, and if it works like any other art software then you should have similar settings on procreate
for sketches/linework, I will very often use an opaque & slightly textured round brush. the most important for me is for the brush to have that fuzzy sort of texture that gives the impression of using a pen/marker on paper.
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note that i am actually terrible when it comes to line weight, it's definitely not something i work on a lot other than in backgrounds, so I don't actually bother too much with pen pressure settings.
the only rule I abide to is to always set the minimum value above 0 (anywhere between 20-30 is what I use). this is because when I started drawing, I used to be very heavy-handed and would wear out my pens too quickly-- so setting a minimum can help you become more aware of how hard you're pressing on your pen and make gentler strokes.
another fun little setting i use is opacity: like I said, I use opaque brushes for lines, but I like to reduce a tiny bit of opacity when brushing very lightly to give that impression of pen on paper.
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There's a couple more brushes I use for coloring or rendering; the major sticking point being that I don't use pen pressure to control brush size that much. If I want to make thinner/smaller strokes, I'll simply reduce the brush size because it's easier for me to control!
(also, opacity is something I'll use a lot more when I'm working on colors)
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just know that this is my way of handling it, and it may not suit your style. pen pressure may be another artist's best friend, so please make sure you try out what works best for you :)
finally, some art softwares come with stabilization. I don't use it personally, unless i'm actually trying to do really smooth curves (which is practically never). stabilization can also make CSP lag a lot with higher values and large brushes. the use of stabilization doesn't make you a bad artist or a lazy one, and not using it can make your lines look a tiny bit wobbly if you're not used to doing quick strokes. use stabilization at your own leisure!
on a different note, i know this wasn't part of the question but I'm bringing this up since it's something I tend to hear from people who say they were inspired by my art (thank you by the way🥺💕!!) : don't be misled by artstyles that "make it look easy"! my sketches may look very simple and natural because i'm more adept at bringing out the essential and discarding details in a design. this is not necessarily what you want for your art style; maybe you like drawing details a lot, maybe you prefer the lazy way out going straight to the point. neither are good or bad, only what you like to do matters.
also, if you're frustrated by your work, don't be afraid to draw over it as many times as you want, adjusting things with the lasso tool or deform if something feels off then drawing over again. sometimes you'll be satisfied with your first take, and sometimes you'll need 3 bases before its acceptable (examples below)-- it all depends on your mood, energy, motivation, desired outcome, format, or even just randomness
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oh and, sometimes the best way to enjoy drawing..is to find something to obsessively draw (,:
take care!
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blasphemecel · 24 days
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sorry for not coughing up the kaiser hcs right away i live an unhappy life. here they are for your viewijg pleasure, ranging from living together to actual marriage but in no real order. sorry if my grasp of his character sucks. also long af:
- his personality stays consistent but he’s a little softer with you except during big relationship milestones. around then he kind of regresses to his meaner self cuz the weight of it all scares him. if you stick with him during these periods it helps him come to terms with how serious you two are and he softens again
- awful taste in interior design he has one of thise super beige and expensive apartments ripped out of a magazine. you reminding him he doesnt have to put on a persona around you makes things less sterile over time but when he’s having a bad day he’s taken to stress cleaning.
- does do chores and is generally very neat. more stuff in the house and not outside it. has a habit of putting the laundry in the machines but not taking it out so you end up being the one to fold clothes. he lounges on the bed while you do it though? just to tlak but he doesn’t help and he says “hush” if you bring it up
- if you talk to him while hes busy he gives uou his full attention. unnerving. like he’ll stop vacuuming entirely and look at you with eye contact every time. great multitasker otherwise
- pretry private person and not forthcoming with doubts even to you, thiugh he improves with time. very nervous when he proposed* even though he acted like there was no way you’d say no. very involved in planning and thought about this really expensive public wedding but you were like “do you even want this” and he didn’t so the wedding was a small private affair or you eloped. its his favorite day and he looks at the photos frequently
-*if you proposed instead he cries a little and says yes before you finish the question but denies vehemently after the fact. doesn’t matter if there were pics or videos he says it didnt happen
- bathroom hogger. sometimes uses all the hot water. if you complain he says you should just shower together cuz it saves water but you argue it doesn’t matter when his showers are an hour long to begin with
- touchy-feely and handsy (re: above) bit not necessary in an nsfw way. he wont admit it to you bit physically touching calms him and reminds him you’re there and real and sometimes he looks st you a little too long and gets this goofy smile. if you mention it he says he cant believe YOURE so lucky to have him as your husband. asshole
- follows you around the house and likes to be in the same room. not above following you into the bathroom
- when he wakes up is when you wake up because he doesn’t bother to be extra quiet when you’re adleep in the mornings + he often sleeps theough his own alarm so YOU have to wake him anyway
- likes to shower you in lavish gifts bc he takes pride in his ability to earn such things but doesn’t like or care much for lavish gifts in return. grows to really appreciate handmade/more thoughtful things from you and learns a craft to give them to you in return. i think he can draw well. keeps all the things he has from you on a shelf or in a box wnd looks at it from time to time
- embarrassingly brags about you to everyone especially after marriage. you’re his most valuable treasure
- attentive to detail and likes to dress you up down to accessories for events and such. kind of fussy. when he’s pleased he kisses your ring and says something lame like “perfect, darling”
Thnk you ofor returning and sharing. I can see your vision on most of these. Especially the lame ass apartment that is sooo him
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jennilah · 3 months
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I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.
I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.
I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes
omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao
actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)
ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.
There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".
so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.
yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:
-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw
I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.
my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.
sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)
which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.
and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)
this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck
(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)
and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway
anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!
tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰
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bigmack2go · 3 months
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I got live‘sies so its time to appreciate‘sies some brackrond‘sies detailies
Not rly bc but i live how it looks like were zooming up, and then back down the lodge before and after santafee prologue
Why tf is crutchie su confused when he wakes up
Jack proceeds to sleep with one of just drawings wtf
He waves his hand infront of crutchie like „ur eyes closed yet??“
Al playing and leaning on the rail ahhhh ahshwksmdnxlxl (in case u didnt know: i love albert)
Race laughing and slapping specs
Everyone just deads in their tracks and teams up when Albert gives his coment that went to far
Finch scratching his head is so real
DID BIRD FLY TWEETY BOY JUST LEAN IN FOR A GOODMORNING KISS
AND DID GINGER MF JUST REFUSE BIRD FLY TWEETY BOY HIS KISS??
The slap on his chest like „not now honey“ 😭swejfcizp
Ike and mike arent in the same thibgy thing. For fucks sake thank god cuz its been bothering me for a while how they only get mentioned in the same context. I hate it when they do that. Wait nvm that looked like mush but it actually was mike.
Naw sniper can be so adorable
Did i mention i fucking love jojo
Smalls snd finch sharing a room ™️
Crutchie is so done w jacks bullshit
LMAO BUTTONS COMBING HIS HAIR
Albert posing infront of the „mirror“ is so me tbh
Ive mever seen anyone struggle this mutch to out on a hat as blink. All those tbh thats smt that could be me prolly
Specs babe what r u doing on the floor
Race shaking his jaket is so overdramatic and its perfect
Mush and henry are a duo I didn’t know I needed.
Why is mush acting like hes in a circus lmfao
Tommy struggling with the pants is everything
Elmer just took his cap off, put it in his pocket, and the magicaly made it apear in his other hand???
Who is tommy saluting at
Naw specs is like a big brother to livesies blink and it breaks my heart in the best way possible
Albert jumps in the middle like when i slide through the kitchen on my socks lmfao
Tbh sniper just wanted to move too
Sky. What was your thought process when you looked at darcy‘s ass instead of Katherine‘s even tho you knew this was gonna be in the proshot?
BUTTONS WTF??
Finch is such a mood istg
Snipe honey ily but you are being a little creepy
HENRY YOU JUST PUT ON THE JACKET HOW DID IT GO OFF U AGAIN?
I demant to know what jojo is doing
Ok smalls just sitting there dangling their feet is everything
BUTTONS ALSO LOOKED AT DARCY INSTEAD OF KATH WTH ?? HER ASS CABT BE THAT BAD /j
Kath awkward queen
Darcy going „alright“ like „okay thats enough, im done— your dONE“
HES SO PROUD 🥹
Specs. Going down backwards are leathers. This are stairs. Please watch where you’re goibg
RACE TOO IS EYEING DARCY INSTEAD OF KATHERINE
Istg romeo and jack r the only ones eyeing kathering wtf is thos?
RACE LOOKS AT CRUTCHES SO KNOWINGLY LIKE AN INSIDE JOKES UNDER BROTHERS LMFAO I LOVE THAT. THEYRE MAKING FUN OF JACK TOGETHER AHSHWKENFN
Ok so elmer actually looked at kath but he honestly just looks angry
Tommy boy save me, youre the only normal person here!
Nvm
Race wtf is your deal??
OKAY SOMEONE HELP ELMER I THINK HES HAVING A SEIZURE
How is blink STILL bot done?!
Jacks just talking to the air
Every single one of finches facial expressions. Like i can’t even count them all.
Hes so done lmfao
Mush? Wtf? Stop? Please?
You wanna share with the class tommy? We wanna laugh too
Buttons just watches like he just gave up like,,, ah whatever you do you
Mush is becoming a poledancer??
WJEN DID SPECS GO BACK UP THERE WTF
Race slapping buttons on the cheek like a grandma💀💀💀
We all agree that albert is that one friend where the whole friendgroup thinks he’s the token straight friends but hes everything but that, its just that he doesn’t talk about it a lot. And there’s that one friend (i wonder who/j) that knows fron experienced how thats just so fucking wrong
Elmer is like „😒😒😒—oh shit thats my cue- IM HAPPY“
So i got aprox two seconds into it and now in tired so see u lmfao
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goremet-chef · 1 year
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guhh im so bothered rnn (vent/rant)
so... i? idk. ive been out as trans in my house since 2020. my mom doesnt call me dom (sometimes she does if my sibling encourages her to, but she defaults back to my deadname anyways) and ive learned to accept it. i dont think she ever will and its sad for me, the reality that once i start my transition, ill need to just.. leave a lot of my family behind. they think its some rebellious choice like i hate all of them but im more worried about them hating me
my mom says shes supportive but is actively right wing, shes having an inner battle with her ideologies, i know that. i can tell by how she talks about homeless people vs how she talks about us being queer
so. whatever. thats my mom i guess. but for a long time, i wasnt out to my moms husband. i despise him and ive never intentionally started a conversation with him, let alone come out. ive started to not care about what he thinks. i know what he thinks, he thinks gays should die, said it straight to my gay siblings face. okay, cool. doesnt concern me, moms bf is absolutely fucking nothing to me.
to remedy this sort of like... we didnt wanna DEAL with what he might say if he heard both my siblings calling me dom, cuz both of them do, so whenever theyre around they would just refer to my deadname, but i saw it made them cringe, so now everyone calls me 'that one child'
that one, other one, etc etc
no one even calls me my name anymore
it makes me feel so hopeless. ive EXPRESSED it makes me upset but my younger sibling doesnt care (the one most guilty of it), because they dont understand why it upsets me, i guess thats enough reason to keep going
its so dehumanizing to be reduced to actually nothing. i ALREADY have heaps and heaps and HEAPS of identity issues. sometimes it gets so bad i start having crazy ass delusions, sometimes im not even present and its a different part of my mind in my body
its hard enough as is!!! now my family wont call me anything at all
it makes me feel less bad about leaving, but i dont think ill ever leave at this rate
need to start T, change my name, get a job, all in that order. starting T seems impossible at this rate. i.. dont know what to do. i cant keep LIVING like this, because im not living at all
i never leave my house because im too ashamed in how i look, i cant BEAR the thought of anyone else perceiving me as female, i cant fucking do it!!! im so tired. my house is like a prison for me, genuinely.
and my family dont get it, obviously. they think its my choice, im some kind of hermit who doesnt care about being outside because i have internet. they are so fucking wrong. i miss going out, i miss being around people, i miss existing like everyone else, but i just cant do it man. not like this
so it becomes a waiting game, when am i gonna bring up starting it? how do i even move forward once i do? what if she says no? id have to do it on my own but i cant.. i cant even order things for myself without freezing like shutting up will get me out of there, i cant fucking do it
she doesnt even know!! we were in the car together and she was like yknow theres people who cant even make a doctors appointment. what losers.
IM losers, would she have said that if she knew? does she know and decided to say it anyways? i dont know, but its just.. everything seems so hopeless at this point. i want to just give up, accept im not gonna be who i truly am, but man i cant stand being any more miserable
it makes me wanna cry, the only time i get to feel myself how i think i should be is either if i draw something fictitious, or if i spend hours in the mirror making sure i look masculine, my mustache is convincing, etc. AND FOR WHAT? literally for fucking WHAT, because i dont leave the house anyways!!!!! dolled up like i have somewhere to be, like my appearance will get me what i want, when im stuck at home! i got nothing to prove to them, they think what they think
its fucking dreadful. im so scared of my life passing me by, and here i am wasting away in my bedroom for the last 3 years. no progress, nothing. at first, i was scared about even starting T because theres a higher risk of heart disease, but. i dont fucking care if it KILLS me. i dont care!!! if it kills me i dont fucking care im not living the life i want to live anyways. the risk of death is worth it at this point, i mean that so seriously
idk. im just tired, is all. i wish everyone could perceive me the way i dream they would. only time that happens is online, or when im not with my family at all and instead with my friends. but we only hang out like. once in a blue moon
and yknow what? im not even safe then. i remember we were at my friends house for halloween last year (we always meet up). i had my full leatherface costume one, my face was touched up to make it look like the mask. and still. dressed that way, when my friends mom asked me what my name was, i said dom and she was immediately like. "oh, dominique?" no. my name is fucking DOMINIC.
i didnt say anything besides correcting her, but it was such a blow, man. the only time ill be happy is if im closely monitoring every single thing i do, to make sure i dont appear feminine at all. no matter how i look, now matter how deep my voice is. miserable. why would anyone think that id choose this
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ponytailzuko · 1 year
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were you shit at art before you became good
you had to learn how to do things, one after the other, right? like colors and lighting and line art and textures and perspective and all that. you had to learn one and then the other and then the other and then the other … (or maybe some things went kind of hand in hand but yknow)
these are stupid questions (if there is such a thing of course, lmao,) but i would be very happy if you could indulge me haha, because looking at your art is so overwhelming when you‘re thinking about learning it yourself ahfjaka (i love looking at your art it‘s a really nice experience, it‘s just intimidating too and a lil ah.. you know ahdjsk, only when i think about like. it looks a little unattainable or like it‘ll take 20 years if i‘ll ever be able to and that‘s not really — like i know better than to indulge these thoughts sort of so nowww i feel silly about this ask adfhkjfs.
anyway.
nice art, still, wowwwww so so beautiful)
(it’s a process and it’s about the fun of that process too but i have such a vivid imagination that i really really want to get really GOOD so that i can make it actually visible, and i know it can and probs will take some time and that’s alright so this ask is a little silly. i‘m asking it anyway though ahdjsjsjwk)
hi!!! im not bothered by the ask and its not silly!
i was, in fact, shit at art when i first started out. the reason i even started to draw and do it as a hobby is because i was very dogshit at it. (if there is such thing anyways)
i think i was around 11 or so? that age where elementary school is ending and middle school is beginning and everyone's getting kind of mean lmao. one girl asked me to draw with her and she was REALLY GOOD at it! but i hadn't thought much about art at all and only really did it for fun. so i was really just doodling to my hearts content until she ah. told me that the panda i was drawing was. Really Really Bad. like point at it and laugh kind of bad. like 'not even being able to tell what it is everyone come see this' kind of bad.
anyways obviously i was not very happy. i had not really thought of art as something i wanted to do, nor a hobby that i wanted to indulge in. just something some people are good at it and some people arent. but this girl told me my art was shit, and i was so mad that i didnt talk to her for a month and then for that entire month i did nothing but watch people draw online. speedpaints at first. then i got on iscribble (collaborative whiteboard website at the time) and just watched people do it. and i asked them, how did they start? how do you know what to do? and a lot of people gave me different advice - start with shapes, oh finish the lineart first, color like this - and generally it was very overwhelming and a lot of the advice went over my head. a lot of artists advice feels incomprehensible when starting out, and some of it really stays that way bc there is some art advice i STILL do not understand at all (but it works for some people so power to them), and there is some that is more understandable when getting into the groove.
but anyways while talking to people i realized i kinda really liked the coloring aspect of art. really really liked it. id ask people if they finished their lineart, could i try and color it in the layer below just to try and improve? and SO MANY PEOPLE indulged me. and were incredibly nice. and i guess thats what made me enjoy art even though i knew that in a lot of aspects my art wasn't skilled. because people were really nice ANYWAYS and said i should keep going! so i found something i liked to do in art beyond spiteful beginnings, and i just kept it up - i learned coloring first, and i tried to learn everything else so i could color it lmao. i only did lineart and sketching and anatomy because i wanted to draw my own stuff to color. so you can totally focus on one thing at a time! thats what i did :)
i hope that story helps in any way!!! im not sure if it totally answers your question but i guess i wanted to share that growing in art is a process and you arent alone :) ty so much im glad you like my art and if you ever wanna share your own im always open!!! :D
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