#Earnest Simmon

[aisakalegacy]

Printemps 1918, Al Simhara, Égypte (14/20)

Il va sans dire que Simmon, l’oncle comme le père, sont furieux, car toute cette affaire les fait passer pour des tarlas et met en jeu leur crédibilité même sur l’île. Toute cette affaire a eu lieu il y a quelques mois, et avec le recul, vous voulez savoir le pire ? Moins d’un quart des hommes conscrits sont effectivement partis à la guerre. Les deux tiers se font exempter ! À Hylewood, parmi les conscrits, personne n’est parti en Europe et tout le monde est déjà de retour à la maison. Comme quoi, il n'était pas nécessaire d’en faire tout un plat et d’abandonner ma fille à l’autel…

[Transcription] Eugénie Le Bris : Est-ce que ça va, ma chérie ? Louise Le Bris : Non, Maman. Oh, où est-il ? Comment a-t-il pu faire une chose pareille ? Eugénie Le Bris : Il a laissé une lettre dans sa chambre en partant… Il fuit la conscription car il ne veut pas mourir en Europe. Il ne dit naturellement pas où il se rend, ou quand il sera de retour. Louise Le Bris : Il aurait pu m’en parler !… J’aurais pu le suivre, j’aurais pu venir avec lui ! Eugénie Le Bris : C’est qu’il ne voulait pas que tu viennes. Eugénie Le Bris : Tant mieux qu’il soit parti. Tu as évité le pire. Tu n’aurais pas voulu être coincée avec un chum comme cela. Louise Le Bris : On allait se marier, Maman… Eugénie Le Bris : Je sais. Les hommes peuvent être cruels, ou lâches. Ils n’ont pas peur de sacrifier les femmes autours d’eux si cela peut servir leurs propres intérêts. Louise Le Bris : Pouvez-vous rester jusqu’à ce que je m’endorme ? Eugénie Le Bris : Je ne bouge pas, Louise.

[theredhavendelegate]

Iss. 6

The Unknown Rot, Redhaven's New Illness!

Part Two

Our last issue covered part of the story of the disappearance of Eustace Simmons, a local artist and lifelong Redhaven citizen. Thanks to the hard work of Delegate investigators and journalists, we’re able to bring you the conclusion of this tale, though it may beg more questions than it satisfies…

---

A gentle breeze rolls down the street, twists, scatters, and merges invisibly but for the dust and refuse it tosses into the air. Eustace’s shoes scrape along the cobbles and his fingers skitter along the brick wall, planting themselves more firmly to support him here and there.

His head throbs and his breath quakes, the night seeming more to pulse than to flow; in and out it goes, a few minutes spent in conscious travel, then a whole block passes in a blink.

Eustace swallows but the spit seems to want to rise back up with a heave. He widens his stance and leans hard, both into the wall and onto his cane. The wood bows slightly beneath his weight, then the nausea passes.

Something moves out of the corner of the painter’s view, a flash of gnarly fabric.

The scent strikes him like the ringing of a bell. It is a salty, rancid odor, like the alley behind a butcher shop in August. His senses return to him all at once. The pain in his head and hand fade, his eyesight grows sharp, and his hearing clears.

Eustace bites his lip gently and glances towards the source. He can hear the patter of shoes down an alley and pushes off the wall towards it at a run.

In the gloom of the back street, away from the flame of the gas lamps, a hunched figure trots away like a lame horse. Their clothes are dark and torn, stacked in layers and soiled. They glance back with a diseased, terror-stricken face, and round a corner away. Something crashes beyond it.

Eustace thunders after them, their scent sticking in his nose and on the tip of his tongue. His eyes grow dull yet open wide and focused like a raptor’s, his purpose fading as it is replaced by hunger.

Time blinks out again as one alley corner turns into another, as a narrow street turns into a wide one, then a narrow one again, as Eustace draws near his prey, then far again, then near.

The painter rounds a final corner and skids to a stop. The ground cuts downward sharply sharply to reveal a set of stairs, which seem to lead the blackened maw of hell itself, filled with a shade so dark that looking into for too long fills Eustace’s eyes with colorful lights and shapes.

He stumbles back a step and glances up to a sky that has lightened to the gentle gloom of dawn. He glances around. The streets and buildings here are completely unfamiliar and in a ruined state.

Eustace stares back down into the darkness. The scent is gone and pain is gradually working its way back into his hand. His legs ache softly as well, especially around the knees and ankles.

The darkness waits.

The darkness beckons.

Eustace swallows and taps his cane nervously against the ground, then shakes himself off. “If that’s where they’ve gone, then that’s where my answers lie.”

Unsure still, he starts down the stairs.

They are slick and the shadows swallow sight absolutely. Eustace descends at a snail’s-pace, pressing one hand into the wall to steady himself while wielding the cane in the other, using it to find the edges of each step. They seem to go on for minutes and, glancing back, only a tiny spot of dark grey sky peers down the well towards him, offering not a slip of illumination so far down.

The staircase terminates. Looking forward again, Eustace can make out weak light in the gloom of a linoleum hallway. Emergency lights flicker and hiss at intervals no closer than fifteen feet, and only along one wall. The odor of the space is sickly sweet, rotten, and carried upon a moist, pitiful breeze from deeper within.

The painter strains his eyes and swallows, white-knuckling his cane as he maneuvers deeper in. Each step drains him, his head aches, and soon his gait turns uneven and shambling. He leans harder and harder on the cane, on the walls, and upon the numbness overtaking him.

His eyes snap wide open. The hall around him is no longer familiar, extending in either direction forever front and back, with no sign of a staircase. A thin bead of drool has accumulated on his chin and he wipes it away groggily. There is a door to his side. “Was it…was it here before? How far did I walk?” he mutters.

He shakes himself off and stares up at the door. It is heavy, rough, and made of dark, light-eating iron. There is a track in the floor where a single wheel on the bottom can glide to allow it to scrape open. A bright brass plate on its face reads ‘Infectious Study Chamber’. An even less welcoming sign beneath reads ‘WARNING: DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT PROTECTION!’

There is a skull on the sign, a curving biohazard symbol, and pictographs of facemasks, gloves, and hazmat suits.

Eustace attempts to swallow but his mouth and throat are bone dry.

He pulls the door open and it does so smoothly and with an eerie silence. The room beyond is about the normal brightness of a lamp-lit interior but Eustace squints and recoils as his eyes adjust anyway.

It smells painfully clean, plain and sharp, and a little bit sweet. ”Pickles?” Eustace asks, though the room doesn’t answer. The dull corpulence of the hallway is crushed under the onrush of this new, medicinal odor.

Eustace stumbles in, tripping slightly over the threshold as he enters a large lab space bedecked with tubes, bottles, beakers, tables, cabinets, diagrams, worktops, burners, and devices which he cannot name.

He traces the ‘pickle’ scent to an open glass basin filled to the brim with a yellow fluid. There is a mass of flesh suspended in the fluid, a nondescript chunk of pale, hydrous meat. Eustace swallows, his mouth suddenly rehydrated, then he shakes himself off. He walks away from the basin, glancing back once or twice with longing and self-disgust until he bumps into a table with drawers.

Eustace startles and looks down. The tabletop is covered in papers, some grouped together with staples or paperclips, and several are stamped with the feather of Redhaven, the city crest, right next to the neat signature of someone called ‘Earnest Bell’.

The painter thumbs through the documents, skimming their contents and tossing them aside until he stops on a page dated to a day earlier in the week. He reads, quietly, “Subjects do not recover…no treatment as of yet found to be successful…degeneration of impulse controls…hunger for raw meat…wounds cease to recover…originates beyond the fog?”

Eustace can feel eyes on the back of his neck and the little hairs there rise like soldiers. He doesn’t turn around though, he just sets the papers down gently and tilts his head up. “It’s you again, isn’t it? You know what’s wrong with me?” he grumbles, more resigned than afraid.

Ragged breathing, torn like shredded foil, rasps out from behind. It is a miserable sound, limp and dry. Finally, it speaks. “You’re…y-you’re s-sick. You…y-you’ll…die…”

Eustace turns around. The ragged individual stands by the open lab door. They are grotesque even in the brighter lighting, all sores and scrapes and pale skin and rags, but they seem smaller. The painter assesses them, shifts his cane from his left hand to his right, then a flash of pain forces him to shift it back. Something clicks into place: one of their layers is an off-white, soiled coat that almost touches the floor.

“Doctor Bell?” Eustace asks.

The figure cringes, then glances back up and nods indiscernibly.

Eustace asks, his voice now quivering slightly, “Are you sure that I’ll die of this? I have a daughter, I have unfinished work, I have friends. I don’t want to let it all go. I can’t even enjoy my last days, if these are my last days, between the hunger and the aching.”

The doctor twitches a smile, then shrugs and turns half away. They clear their throat and rasp out, “One way…m-maybe…” Eustace leans back slightly and raises his chin. Bell continues, “Go out…i-into the-the mist, follow the…north road. I sent…a team. Maybe they-they’ve…got it…solved…”

Bell waits a long moment, then shrugs. “M-maybe…not…” The doctor pushes the lab door open and exits without another word.

Eustace watches as they leave. He clutches his cane tight to his chest and stands still for a while.

The lamps hiss and the medical odors pervade, and the quiet hum of the emptiness swirls around low to the ground, imperceptibly rattling the soles of Eustace’s shoes. He glances back at the desk and draws open drawers until he finds ink, fresh paper, and a fountain pen.

He shakes the pen gently. “Dry,” he mutters, unscrewing the end of the implement and taking up an eyedropper. He transfers ink from the bottle to the pen, hands shaking, then caps it once again.

He begins to write, recollecting what he can of the last few days, filling in gaps, crossing out errors, starting again. Stroke, stroke, scratch, shake, stroke, stroke, wait, wait, cough, stroke, stop.

The writing is barely legible, but deep exhaustion is spreading out under him like the gentle swell of a tide. He sets the pen down and blows on the sheet, pounces it with sand from another container, then shakes it off.

“Home first. Drop this off. Then…”

Eustace feels nauseous. The ground seems to move under him and he shuts his eyes tight. He strains the muscles in his face against a headache, clutching his cane in one hand and the letter in the other. Time turns to sap and flows around him, melting, melting, soaking into the ground…

Eustace opens his eyes. The sky over head is the murky, sunless grey of mid-morning. He is faced with a wall of lavender fog while Redhaven watches him from behind, its tallest towers waving farewell in the breezeless sky. He turns forward again, to the mist.

To the mist.

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[doubleodonut]

i really did want to like this season going in but ugh. like hearing oh it's written by burnie directed by matt, the seasons i don't like got entirely retconned (petty. i know. no shade to people who like the shisno trilogy i was just eh on it), clearly meant to be a return to reconstruction-era format in some way. all sounds fantastic. unfortunately

basically everything from sarge's death onward felt entirely un-earned and un-genuine. this is probably my biggest sticking point with it all. rvb has been extremely good at making these incredibly silly characters do emotional moments well in a way that feels true to the characters- the finale to season 13, for example, is one of the best bits in the show, imo. and that's a really delicate balance! because fundamentally, these characters are built on comedy, and often being mean to each other, and making genuine interpersonal moments between them can be a really tricky business. the emotional moments in restoration, for me, leaned way too far into the sappy side and as such felt entirely un-genuine, starting with sarge's speech and continuing for the .. most of the rest of it.

now, some other bits would have felt really good if it weren't for their surrounding stuff, if that makes sense? like. after sarge's death, simmons becoming first-in-command and immediately discharging grif. that's really good. that's REALLY GOOD it feels true to their characters and earnest in a way they would be. but the surrounding problems that i mentioned already made it land a looot softer than it should have.

the whole retcon thing was...really unclear, frankly. like, it was sort-of-stated in the trailer, but when the season opened with dylan, as well as the reveal of wash in the hospital, carolina doc and donut being gone, i'd figured that oh, the retcon implied in the trailer HADN'T actually happened, church's simulations just included the stuff that happened. (and also, you should be able to tell what's going on in a piece of media without having watched the trailers..) but no, the retcon was apparently real, this season took place directly after the chorus trilogy. just not communicated well.

where were carolina and donut. like, we know doc'd died but, like. where are those two. donut just ISN'T there (only just mentioned by dr. grey at one point and simmons at another), and carolina is. missing, for some reason, until she's needed for the final fight. given carolina's absence for most of the thing, her moments with tex also felt very underbaked.

the "doc's been dead the whole time!" twist was stupid i'm sorry. i feel like it could have been done well if the rest of the season was better but as it is it just feels cliche. i think i get what they were going for- we never saw the final climactic fight of season 13 because church never saw it, now coming back after however-many-months, we as the audience weren't filled in on how that battle happened, making a surprise "actually, x died!" thing narratively interesting. it just wasn't done well, imo

the meta as a villain was .. just strange as it was played out. the idea of meta!tucker? tucker stuck in his own body while being puppeted by the epsilon-fragments-as-meta? or even, like what epsilon thought was going on, tucker straight up heel-turn? that fucking rules. i am SO into that idea. but i really didn't like how it was done. epsilon-meta was just..goofy. their lines all sounded like a cartoon villain. so much threatening and so much..talking? like, compare to alpha-meta- silent save for the interconnected whispers of the ai, focused, driven, not having long protracted villain speeches. not that villain monologues are BAD, they just don't feel right for the fucking meta! it made them as a villain feel weird and, again, pretty cliche. also, like, the bit where they held the sword to simmons' face and started monologuing threateningly at him? just didn't fit with what we know about the meta at all. the meta would have fucking stabbed him without hesitation that was some felix-type shit

(now, maybe this was the influence of the "host" between either version of the meta. like, maine is silent, so maine-meta is silent. tucker is super chatty, therefore so is tucker-meta. that would have worked if a) tucker was actually the meta rather than just A Meat Puppet and b) the dialogue actually had any resemblance to how tucker talks rather than Stock Villain)

jumping off the topic of epsilon/tucker!meta. tucker was so stiffed this season. the meta could have been piloting a robot body and it would have made 0 difference. the torture scene didn't land and had basically no actual purpose. as others have pointed out, an ACTUAL villain!tucker could have been pretty fucking cool if done right, and would have been a really interesting twist on the meta. i think meat-puppet-tucker could also have been done interestingly, if we saw more of tucker and his conflicts with the ai, or, like, even what happened leading up to the meta Happening after the end of s13. but tucker, one of the imo most interesting and best characters in the entire show, just had almost no influence, purpose, no character development, nothing.

perhaps most damningly of all, it just. wasn't funny. there were a couple little jokes here and there that got a laugh out of me, but there was no sustained comedic energy throughout the thing, and a lot of the bits (church's youtube exposition, the zoom bit) dragged on for WAY too long. i cant believe they did the "ehh.......it's right behind me isn't it" bit entirely straight.

overall, i felt this season is overall underbaked. there were some very cool concepts, bits, and ideas, but all together just did not work.

[witchern]

just got done seeing the re-release of sam raimi's spider-man on the big screen and now y'all are gonna hear my thoughts whether you like it or not:

the danny elfman music kicked on during the opening credits and i had full-body goosebumps before the marvel logo even came up on screen because i'm a fucking loser.

speaking of opening credits, remember when movies used to have those? i miss it. bring them back.

the upside-down kiss remains the greatest cinematic kiss of all time. don't argue with me when i'm right.

the setup and repetition of "don't tell harry." fantastique.

the cinematographyyyy. bitch. the way the camera follows spider-man swinging through traffic, up and around buildings, across the city…..i just don't get the same feeling of movement in either of the reboots. they're too clean. they're like iphone commercials. they're gross.

speaking of iphones, during the festival scene in times square there was a billboard ad for cingular and i thought about how i used to have a cingular phone and i almost committed suicide in the theater. i'm so old.

everyone calls her "aunt may" – including norman osborn, a grown-ass man. 'twas adorable.

"and i know i'm not your father—" "then stop pretending to be!" maybe i WILL kill myself in this alamo drafthouse.

watching this made me miss having regular-degular goons and scumbags in comic book movies. i'm tired of the "i want to rule the world, i want all the power" schtick. rob a bank. hijack a train. kidnap the mayor. have fun with it. you're in a comic book movie, for fuck's sake.

the balance between campy fun superhero stuff and earnest, genuine emotion was better than i remembered – and one never came at the expense of the other.

jk simmons. nothing else to add here – i just wanna remind people that he fucking crushed this role and burned it down and nobody has been able to touch it since.

on a similar note: willem dafoe. he didn't just chew the scenery – he had a fucking feast. fuck, man. he's great.

unrelated to the film-making itself, but....what exactly is the military purpose of a glider where the pilot is completely exposed? and why did it already look like a halloween machine before osborn becomes the goblin? questions i ask.

anyway, i realize you could hand-wave a lot of this as me falling for the nostalgia of it all (which i absolutely am), but also...i dunno. there's an undercurrent of sincerity to this movie that i just don't really feel in comic book movies anymore. that's probably because the current spate of comic book movies aren't even really movies anymore – they're products. they're vacuum-sealed, rubber-stamped, climate-controlled products to sell you a disney+ subscription or whatever the fuck the warner bros equivalent is (is it max? i think it's max). and every movie has an ending setup that tries to sell you on the next product, and the next, and the next...

anyway. with this first spider-man, yes it's silly at times, but this movie embraces it, warts and all. there's a well-balanced mix of goofy dialogue ("are you in or are you out?" "it's you who's out, gobbie – out of your mind!") and heartfelt moments (i mean, do i even need to say it? "with great power comes great responsibility"). i know it's a hack thing to say "they don't make movies like they used to" but.....man, they REALLY don't make movies like they used to.

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Irving

Here we go, lads. Let's do this thing. :((( Big big spoiler warning, just in case.

Irving introduces himself to the Netsilik in the most endearingly awkward way, just as in the show: "Greetings," he said. He touched his chest with his mittened thumb. "Third Lieutenant John Irving of Her Majesty's Ship Terror". I've helpfully written 'YOU AWKWARD FUCK' next to this snippet.

The Netsilik use several words in reply to this which are interesting. I wouldn't presume to parse the full meaning of it all when it's not my place so do take all this with a gargantuan grain of salt but I have looked into it a little further out of curiosity... We have 'kabloona' of course, 'qavac' which appears to have a similar meaning and may be used in a derogatory way, and 'miagortok' which seems to translate to 'howling dog'.

Most interesting of all, one of the Netsilik men - possibly a wise man or shaman - also points at Irving and says "Piifixaaq!". I'd imagine this is just referring to his pale skin but one of the closest translations I've been able to find so far for this word is 'ghost or haunting spirit of a departed one'. We also hear reference to polar bears and Torngarsuk, an Inuit god of the sea, death, and the underworld.

They eventually start to make some headway in communication - mainly by pointing to objects and stating their own language's word for them. The apparent leader of this group introduces himself with the words "Inuk" and then "Tikerqat" and again, Irving's reply to this couldn't be more awkward or endearing: "Pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr Inuk," said Irving. "Or Mr Tikerqat. Very pleased to make your acquaintance."

The scene continues very similarly to the way it does in the show. Irving is introduced to the rest of the group (including a quick flash of tit from one of the women present - thanks for that Simmons 👀). They feed him and he presents them with his precious telescope.

Finally, he retreats to find the others. This, of course, is where things go wrong and get infinitely more absurd and wild. Here's just a snippet of the madness: "Twenty feet down the northeast side of the ridge, Irving saw something that made him stop in his tracks. A tiny man was dancing naked except for his boots around a tall heap of discarded clothing on a boulder... [] He stepped closed and saw that it was no leprechaun dancing but rather the caulker's mate. The man was humming some sailor's ditty as he danced and pirouetted. Irving could not help noticing the grubwhite paleness of the little man's skin, how his ribs pushed out so visibly, the goosebumps everywhere rising on his flesh, the fact that he was circumcised, and how absurd the pale white buttocks were when he pirouetted."

Irving's first though genuinely is he can't let Hickey embarrass him in front of his cool new Netsilik pals but no sooner can he chastise Hickey than his throat is slashed wide open, just like that. "Hickey took a step closer, still naked, all sharp knees and thin thighs and tendons, crouching now like some pale bony gnome. But Irving had fallen to his side on the cold gravel, vomited an impossible amount of blood, and was dead before Cornelius Hickey ripped away the lieutenant's clothing and began wielding the knife in earnest." I have, quite simply, inscribed the word 'FUUUUUCCCKKK!!!' below this paragraph.

[legion1227]

Invincible Season 2: Review.

Let's hope the wait isn't as long for season 3. 

The first season of Invincible caught the world by storm in 2021. A genuine addition to the superhero TV medium that separated itself from its peers with exceptional storytelling, a memorable cast, a sensational collection of voice actors and actresses, and copious amounts of blood and gore unseen in other superhero shows, animated or live-action. (Except for maybe fellow Amazon Prime Original, The Boys.) 

Two years later, on November 3rd, 2023, Invincible sophomore season picked up where the first one left off. The first episode showcases Mark Grayson, our super-powered 17-year-old known as the titular Invincible, trying to shoulder his responsibility as a hero after the ass-kicking of a lifetime by his father Omni-man, which left countless across the world dead. 

What can I say about this season that hasn't been praised for already? 

Let me get some of the negatives out of the way. There aren't a lot. There are some moments when the animation, mostly when characters are idle and having a conversation, where it looks odd. Sometimes, characters like Mark speak with other superheroes about crucial plot points, and they look a little stilted, where it's slightly distracting. The one other nitpick lies within the hiatus between episodes 4 and 5. Dropping four episodes weekly only to take a 4-month hiatus before releasing the next four episodes was an infuriating decision that killed the hype then. Regardless of the reasoning, I hope for season 3, there is no repeat of that. Did the hiatus hurt the quality of the remaining episodes? Absolutely not. 

Mark's journey as Invincible this season was even more captivating after the traumatic events that transpired last season as he struggles with soooooooooooooooooooo much more. Forced to confront his father once more, other villains of varying degrees of danger, and the looming threat of more Viltrumites coming to Earth has Mark pushed to his ends beyond belief. Coupled with the attempt to juggle a relationship and go to classes regularly at college, you can see how Mark is stretched so thin. Steven Yeun's performance hasn't missed a beat as he captures the spirit of a growing teen going through so much exceptionally. And he's not the only one to hit a bullseye amongst the rest of the VAs. Sandra Oh, J.K. Simmons, Walton Goggins, Jason Mantzoukas, Khary Payton, Clancy Brown, Ben Schwartz, Sterling K. Brown, and the countless others that make up this talented cast brought their A-game to make every character sound earnest and purposeful. The writing was sublime throughout as character motives were established clearly and made sense, the dynamics heroes and villains alike had with one another were remarkable, and the action scenes were as stellar as ever. 

There's almost TOO much to love. I loved in the first episode how the show edges you with when exactly the title card will drop despite everybody constantly setting it up with Invincible's name. I loved Ben Schwartz's alien character Shapesmith, and his bumbling presence throughout. I loved every scene involving Allen the Alien and the testament to the voice direction where for the first time in a voice role, I hear Seth Rogen voicing a character, but it's not distracting. I almost forget he's being voiced by Rogen at times. I loved the inner turmoil Omni-Man faced and the growth he experienced since the last time we saw him. Simmons's delivery of his final line in the last episode captured the sadness and regret perfectly. I loved every single fight scene. Period. Shoutout to Rex during his fight with the Lizard League because I haven't stopped thinking about how he held his own for weeks. I loved the little gags about the animation process or Mark's little interactions with Agent Spider or 'the guy who dresses like a bat.' 

In conclusion, there's simply too much Invincible has gone in its sophomore season that WORKS. It's TOO GOOD. The writing, the animation (mostly), the voicework, the story, the characters...there's a solid reason why this is one of the best superhero shows out there right now. There are a few shows I'm watching right now that come close to the high quality it's reaching. I'm giving Invincible Season 2 a 4.5/5. Depending on how the rest of the competition fares throughout this year, this could be THE show for 2024. 

[novantinuum]

Top 5 favorite video games

Gonna rate these as a combo of personal enjoyment, challenge, and nostalgia. Honestly, I'm not a HUGE gamer beyond the few things I've gotten fixated upon, so a lot of my titles are pretty basic.

5) Stardew Valley- A more recent addition to the list, since I've only started playing this in earnest fairly recently, but it's already given me so much enjoyment that I have to give it a spot. Endlessly full of life and lore when you dig into it. Very relaxing.

4) Portal 2- This game gave me some of the biggest laughs I've ever gotten out of anything from this medium- and probably one of the greatest "o h" moments of realizations I've ever had while working through a boss battle... folks who have played this game, you know what I'm talking about, ahah. (Also, J.K. Simmons my beloved <3)

3) Super Mario Galaxy- If I knew what fandom was when I was in third/fourth grade, then this game would've been my first true fandom hyperfixation. There was a point in time where I had the guide book for this game entirely memorized. This was the first game that I was able to beat completely by myself when I was a kid, and also the first game that I (more recently, when the All Stars Mario gamepack came out for the Switch) played to 100%, which is neat. Playing as both Mario AND Luigi. (I later went on to 100% the next title on the list, which is-)

2) The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild- An obvious choice for my list! I only discovered this game in 2020, but it has quickly become one of my favorites, and I inevitably end up replaying it every few months. I've done the 100% game file once (which, yes, means finding all the korok seeds), and my god... it was such a satisfying journey to reach that goal! The characters and story within this game bring me so much joy every day, and I am so deeply thankful for all the amazing friends I've met through our mutual love of LoZ. <3

BUT, because of the sheer nostalgia factor, I must say that my all-time favorite game is:

1) Blinx: The Time Sweeper- A seriously slept upon classic. Probably one of the most difficult games I've played, EVER. I haven't even finished the entire thing by myself- the boss rush at the very end is so brutal I haven't gotten through it yet. As a kid, I had to get my mother's help on the rush before working through the FINAL boss on my own. But g o d... the music in this game slaps so hard, and it has some of the most interesting mechanics and puzzles I've ever seen in a game, even still. This game infested my thoughts for so long when I was a kid, to the point where I was outright drawing my own OCs for the world and coming up with fanfiction in my head before I knew what fanfiction even was. The concepts were just so rife for the imagination that it was hard to resist bouncing around with le' brain worms XD

Please do me a favor of vibing with this seriously cool as balls music, though, because holy SHIT it's such a bop-

(Aaaaand the boss music that STILL makes my shoulders seize up with anxiety- the final, FINAL boss is so GODDAMN HARD)

[hrodvitnon]

So I got a question. Since it's briefly mentioned in the latest chapter of ItFoS, what would the royal couple think of the human concept of renewing their vows? And if they go along with the idea, would it be short and sweet or would they try to make it the renewal wedding of the millennium? Please give all the details you can.

Oooh~! Well, Mothra thinks the concept is absolutely darling; what could be sweeter and more romantic than a couple reaffirming the sacred vows they made on marriage? Goji gets to thinking about it and remembers the "marriage ceremony" he had with Mothra so long ago -- they'd met at one of the poles where the night sky was alive with nebulae and the aurora, so that their bioluminescence danced across the snow and water.

Goji was younger and brasher back then but was struck dumb seeing Mothra dancing elegantly before him in a courtship display, her wings glowing with dazzling light and colors. This was his first time seriously committing himself to a mate and so Goji was a bit nervous, a young bull doing his best to reciprocate the performance for a much older and more experienced female, and a fellow Alpha at that. Fortunately Mothra found his nervousness and earnest efforts one more thing to adore, and so the two were "married" in the Titan fashion.

After some centuries they enjoyed a second marriage ceremony, this time in human guise; they'd seen ancient human weddings and Mothra was so charmed by the idea that they decided "why not" and arranged for a small, private ceremony since they didn't have many human friends (or at least Goji didn't) and it would feel awkward to plan a grand ceremony in front of so many strangers.

Fast-forward to ItFoS times; maybe after humanity at large is gradually made aware of the fact that Titans can take human form, Mothra and Goji learn about vow renewal ceremonies and get to work planning their first real, proper royal wedding they haven't had yet. And since this is in modern times, they decide to indulge and go all out; they don't mind if things don't go perfectly and will take mistakes in stride, they want it to be a memorable event, warts and all. Thanks to Maia Simmons pulling some strings, they even get their own tailors to custom make their wedding clothes and a jeweler to make the rings.

Suffice to say, it's the royal wedding that blows all other weddings away. Goji, looking so dashing and handsome, looks up the aisle and gets teary-eyed seeing his gorgeous wife in a stunning gown that's not the traditional white but an eye-catching red. Anyone who'd complain about a red wedding dress ends up eating their words seeing the queen approach her husband. After being pronounced man and wife and sharing the kiss, Goji throws his stoicism to the wind and sweeps Mothra off her feet into a bridal carry and spins her with a big and happy laugh.

(I'm gonna say that Kong is actually going to be Goji's best man and if not Vivienne then fellow Titan queen Barb could be Mothra's maid of honor; both instances of them burying their respective hatchets. Who catches the bouquet? I'll leave that up to you guys!)

[mystery-moose]

TV: JAN 9th

This weekend I watched the second season of Slow Horses, a spy show exclusive to AppleTV of all things!

There are a lot of different kinds of espionage stories. There’s your James Bonds and your Missions Impossible, or older classics like Three Days of the Condor and Marathon Man. Heck you can throw Sneakers in there too! I like ‘em all, but I’m a sucker for the ones that ground themselves in something approaching reality, the ones with people in overcoats talking cryptically at a cafe, where violence isn’t likely to erupt but the potential for violence and death exists around every spoken (or unspoken) word. That’s kind of my favorite. Slow Horses is that, with a dash of comedy and mystery thrown in too.

The show’s based on a relatively recent series of novels, each season a self-contained book, which I gotta say is a great structure that they pull off quite well. I loved the second season as much as the first, so I’m real glad they got picked up for two more! The recent uptick in this genre on TV, alongside the FX show The Old Man, almost makes up for the untimely cancelation of JK Simmons’ Counterpart, my personal “show I’ll forever be bitter about going too soon!”

Gary Oldman steals the whole thing, as he usually does, playing a perpetually frumpy and foul mouthed boss of the loser section of the British secret service — though I think every actor does a good job. There’s a certain kind of dry humor that comes from these people being the castoffs, the misfits, the fuckups or just plain unpopular ones who end up uncovering some big deal bad news and have to save the day. The plots and characters don’t have quite the same flavor as something by John La Carre (though Oldman’s performance seems to be him riffing on and playing off his incredible turn as Smiley in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy). The characters are a bit more earthy, the dialogue a bit more crass. But they have a similar spirit to those books; a shared desire to paint spy work as unglamorous, occasionally ugly, and morally corrupt, even as our heroes are shown to be necessary. It’s kind of having its cake and eating it too, a little.

This is definitely a show I’m going to revisit and rewatch, if only because it captures a tone and tells a compelling story in a genre I’m a fan of. I don’t love it, not the way I might something more… earnest, I guess? Not that the show isn’t earnest with its characters, but… I dunno, there’s a gap there, a remove. But I really, really like it, and if you’re at all into the genre, you should check it out however you can.

In conclusion, great show, easy recommend, a soft 9/10 will totally watch again

[wickedthiswaycomes]

〔 johanna braddy, 33, cis woman, she/her ) Rebekah Simmons was seen listening to miss americana and the heartbreak prince. Rebekah is a gymnastics coach and known to be empathetic & reserved ( caity )  

GENERAL ;;

full name; rebekah pearl simmons, married name rebekah tate

nicknames; bec, bekah, 

age; 33

birthday; october 1st

zodiac; libra

gender/pronouns; cis woman, she/her

sexual/romantic preferences; bisexual, biromantic

personality traits; empathetic, reserved, shy, 

BIOGRAPHY ;;

Rebekah Simmons had it all. From the moment that she was enrolled at Huntsville Elementary School, other kids knew her and more importantly, they liked her. Her two older brothers were outgoing kids, able to befriend others quickly, and their parents enrolled all of their children in enough after school activities that they didn’t really have the ability to not make friends wherever they went. Rebekah, like her brothers, made friends quickly and her teachers quickly grew to like her. She wasn’t quite as active and excitable as her brothers, but was instead the kid that offered a bit of her snack to any kid that forgot theirs and was the last to leave the classroom for recess because she was waiting for a friend. 

It would have been easy to get lost in the shadows that her brothers cast, though Rebekah managed to create her own instead. She was a decent student and a great athlete-- her parents had enrolled her in plenty but gymnastics was the one that stuck. To everyone around her, Rebekah Simmons had it made. But no one else ever saw the sly commentary from Mrs. Simmons about her daughters looks and grades. No one else saw the way that her father controlled who she could spend time with and demanded that she just practice more. 

Jason was the first boy that ever actually asked Rebekah on a date and then to be his girlfriend. He was her first everything. They began to date when she was just sixteen years old (he was seventeen) and they just...never stopped. At first, it was perfect, straight from a fairytale. Her family loved him (sometimes she thought they liked him better than they liked her) and everything was easy. He soon fell into the same rhythms as her family did, prodding at her sore points over and over and over again. But still, they carried on because it was easier than stopping. So they did the whole thing-- marriage after a perfectly acceptable engagement period, buying the house, attending the family dinners. Rebekah never actually considered if she was actually happy. 

Everyone from their parents to their friends and the random cashier at the grocery store began to ask the couple when they would be expanding their little family. After all, they’d been married almost ten years at this point. Jason wanted children, he had always been vocal about that, a little too much at times. Rebekah was the one with reservations. After one particularly nasty argument with ultimatums thrown out, she realized that she’d had enough. She hadn’t been happy in years. She couldn’t remember the last time that she’d replied in earnest when he’d told her that he loved her. 

So she left. She packed a bag and a small box of what she considered important and she left. For the first time in her life, Rebekah Simmons had nothing but a clear road in front of her. It was the first time that she’d ever really gone against what everyone expected her to do. 

HEADCANONS ;;

Rebekah has three young nephews and a niece that she loves. She hasn’t ever been able to quite sort out why the idea of raising a child with Jason always frightened her except that it felt so permanent. 

Absolutely abysmal taste in music. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;;

Best Friend - They’ve been attached at the hip since they were in middle school and know everything there is to know about each other. This person is probably the only person that Rebekah has ever given an inkling to about how she actually feels about just about anything. 

more to come, 

[jules-has-notes]

Aca Top 10: Old School Rap — VoicePlay music video

If you've ever wanted to hear a group of 30-something white guys cover classic rap and hip-hip tracks, you're in luck. VoicePlay decided to kick it old school and spit some rhymes. It's a little earnest, and a little tongue-in-cheek, just like the music of the era.

Details:

title: Aca Top 10 – Old School Rap

original songs / performers: "La-Di-Da-Di" by Slick Rick & Doug E. Fresh; [0:18] "Going Back to Cali" by LL Cool J; [0:32] "Push It" by Salt-n-Pepa; [0:58] "Parents Just Don’t Understand" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince; [1:09] "Bust A Move" by Young MC; [1:33] "It's Tricky" by Run-DMC; [1:50] "Just A Friend" by Biz Markie; [2:14] "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice; [2:22] "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground; [2:44] "Rapper's Delight" by the Sugarhill Gang; [3:10] "Walk This Way" by Run-DMC & Aerosmith

written by: "La-Di-Da-Di" by Douglas "Doug E. Fresh" Davis & Richard "Slick Rick" Walters; "Going Back to Cali" by Rick Rubin & James "LL Cool J" Smith; "Push It" by Hurby "Luv Bug" Azor & Ray Davies; "Parents Just Don’t Understand" by Pete Harris, Will "Fresh Prince" Smith, Jeffrey "DJ Jazzy Jeff" Townes; "Bust A Move" by Marvin "Young MC" Young, Matt Dike, & Michael Ross; "It's Tricky" by Joseph "Rev. Run" Simmons, Darryl "DMC" McDaniels, Doug Fieger, & Berton Averre; "Just A Friend" by Marcel "Biz Markie" Hall; "Ice Ice Baby" by Robert "Vanilla Ice" Van Winkle, Mario Johnson, Queen, & David Bowie; "The Humpty Dance" by Earl Humphrey, Gregory "Shock G" Jacobs, & George Clinton; "Rapper's Delight" by Bernard Edwards, Nile Rodgers, Sylvia Robinson, Henry "Big Bank Hank" Jackson, Michael "Wonder Mike" Wright, Guy "Master Gee" O'Brien, Curtis "Grandmaster Caz" Brown, & William Hankshaw; "Walk This Way" by Joseph "Rev. Run" Simmons, Darryl "DMC" McDaniels, Steven Tyler, & Joe Perry

arranged by: Geoff Castellucci

release date: 27 May 2016

My favorite bits:

Layne kicking things off with some classic beatboxing

Earl collapsing the boombox antenna in time with the pitch jump on ♫ "right" ♫

Tony busting out some lowkey dance moves from the "Push It" video

the smooth hand-off of the scratching from Layne to Eli during "Parents Just Don't Understand"

the melodramatic grit in Earl's ♫ "oh ba-by youuu" ♫

continuing the running gag of everyone else leaving Geoff hanging during one song in a medley

pulling out the Groucho glasses to emulate the "Humpty Dance" video

Geoff poutily continuing the "Ice Ice Baby" bass line under "The Humpty Dance"

the back row busting out their best Steven Tyler impressions for the end of "Walk This Way"

Trivia:

○ "Bust A Move" was part of VoicePlay's stage repertoire for several years. (See this corporate gig for an example.)

○ Earl also performed an excerpt from "The Humpty Dance" in a James Brown medley the guys did during their 4:2:Five era.

○ The guys are all wearing thematically appropriate shirts:

Eli — corded over-ear headphone print

Earl — "I remember real hip hop" with boombox graphic

Tony — Run-DMC shades logo (+ bonus MTV logo cap)

Geoff — Freddy Krueger with a boombox

Layne — DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince

○ The video description credits Earl as "MC Pee Pants". I'd imagine there's a story behind it, but nothing I've found so far has provided any obvious context. If anyone knows where that came from, I'd be fascinated to hear it.

[aisakalegacy]

Printemps 1918, Al Simhara, Égypte (13/20)

Pour échapper à la conscription, qui concerne donc un tiers des Canadiens, des milliers d’hommes ont fui dans la nature et sont partis s’installer dans les forêts les plus reculées du pays. Ce maudit niaiseux de Simmon est donc parti sans demander son reste, en catimini le matin de ses noces, s’ermiter dans je ne sais quelle cabane de bûcheron pour échapper à son service militaire, plantant là sa famille et la mienne, ma fille, et ma cérémonie qui avait déjà été réglée ! La nouvelle de la conscription était tombée la veille, et, tous occupés que nous étions aux préparatifs du mariage, nous n’y avions pas pris garde.

[Transcription] Napoléon Bernard : Ah, Mme Rumédier est de retour. Nous allons enfin avoir des explications. Louise Le Bris : Ada, l’as-tu trouvé ? Ada Simmon : Le majordome dit que Mr. Simmon est déjà parti ! Napoléon Bernard : Enfin, vous voyez bien qu’il n’est pas là ! C’est du jamais vu ! Se perdre sur un trajet de cinq cent mètres, le jour de son mariage ? Louise Le Bris : Peut-être que si nous attendons encore un peu… Napoléon Bernard : Il va falloir se faire une raison, Mlle Le Bris… Louise Le Bris : S’il-vous-plaît, Révérend… Napoléon Bernard : Ça fait deux heures que nous attendons, et Mr. Simmon n’est toujours pas là. Il faut annuler le mariage. Peter Simmon : C’est une honte ! Marie Rumédier : Un scandale ! Françoise Simmon : Earnest, à cause tu fais simple de même… Peter Simmon : Ce garçon est déshérité ! Je le raye de mon testament ! Jules Le Bris : Humilier comme ça ma fille… Ça ne peut pas rester impuni ! Adolph Simmon : Ne vous en faites pas, Le Bris, si j’attrape mon fils, je m’en occuperai moi-même.

[thesportish]

Ben Simmons back to play after 470 days: 'I'm grateful'

Ben Simmons back to play after 470 days: ‘I’m grateful’

Ben Simmons He felt like he was playing basketball in earnest again during his preseason debut. brooklyn netsHe was off the court for almost a year and a half for 470 days due to physical and mental issues and a brutal divorce from the Philadelphia 76ers. “I am grateful that I can step tracking, NBA court. I had a good time”he declared as soon as he finished. As a starter, his team lost 108-127…

[rangerdew]

Insane that ive never in earnest drawn Simmons w the robo bits and all given how much I claim to have a vision of him who lives in my head and also loving robot augmentations…. I’m the worst man on the planet

[gay-arnold]

pain train pain train :']

((HE'LL BE FINE <3))

[ellsey]

Agents of Shield Rewatch 1x06 F.Z.Z.T.

Ok y’all, there is where this show went from “interesting” to “I NEED TO WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE NOW!!!” I’m always excited to rewatch this ep.

Here we go!

Ha my son loves faux spooky stories so he’d be here for this

A floating cup! Screaming! This is why I never camp.

A FLOATING BODY GASP

Fitz’s Ward impression makes him sound like a southern belle

“You and Simmons, you’re like psychically linked” and then Fitz tries to argue this like...Fitz honey, c’mon

Followed immediately by Jemma’s Ward impression which is marginally better than Fitz’s

But also...PSYCHICALLY LINKED

Fitz gets exponentially more Scottish the angrier he gets

Also “it’s our lab Fitz” they share everything

Polishing ominous helmet...seems legit

This is why Coulson is such a good leader. He’s tough but he’s also compassionate. 

When I first watching this I thought May was just sad by what Coulson was saying, but now I know that she also knows something happened to Coulson and he was brought back. It almost looks like she regrets that?

Those are red blood cells fyi. Definitely not brain cells. Maybe blood from the brain? 

Awww Coulson’s sad face. And he calls her Jemma. And then her look of realization.

Noooo Fitz and Simmons sitting back to back with the glass between them KILLS ME EVERY TIME

“She’s just a kid” May says it with such sympathy and regret aww.

You can see Jemma’s heart breaking as she realizes what’s likely to happen while Fitz is clearly just in disbelief

Wonder how long Ward practiced this speech. BOO.

“As if I forced you to follow me anywhere”

“Don’t you dare act like these past few months haven’t been the highlight of your entire pasty life.”

“Oh, when did you become so sun-kissed? Because I’m prreetttyy sure that every minute of every day, you’ve been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the Academy, at Sci-Ops, this plane...you’ve been beside me the whole damn time.”

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddddddd there it is. The moment you see Fitz realize that he does not want to live a life without Jemma in it. Maybe he doesn’t realize how much he loves her yet, but that seed is there. He knows that his life is infinitely better with her in it.

“You have to fix this,” is all he can get out though

And then they show how much better their brains work together

“Just try to do your best to keep your hands off me, yeah?”

Hahaha that’s probably the last time he ever says that to her

“I’m doing what we always do. Gonna fix this. Together.”

I CRY

Fun fact: this music is my avatar

But also, can we talk about this? In realizing that a life without Jemma wasn’t a life he wanted, Fitz just jumped in there. He didn’t care if he caught the virus because AT LEAST HE’D BE WITH JEMMA. That is all he ever wants.

Also I have never had a centrifuge with fancy lights like that inside? I mean trust me, we would have had a party with that somehow. It’s clearly a party centrifuge. I don’t write the rules.

That look they give each other after Jemma says, “We did it” is SO SOFT though??? 

Literal heart eyes

I too have wanted to hit my lab partner over the head with a heavy object so, you know, I feel you Jemma

Of course literal ray of sunshine Jemma Simmons would try to jump out of the plane to save everyone

That look she gives him before she jumps...I mean this ship sails itself

His anguished screams /cry

Ugh Ward

Thanks for saving Jemma though I guess

But also you dumped Fitz’s device into the ocean

Just like you will Fitz

Ok that was not a sick burn, it was just sad

Daisy hugging Jemma YAY GIRL FRIENDS

“Take off your shirt” We’re getting more than one ship in action in this episode fam

“You’re the hero.” FOLLOWED BY SO MANY SMILES FROM BOTH AWWWWWW

Also, this isn’t Jemma just being polite or anything. While I’m sure she’s super grateful to Ward, what really impresses her most is Fitz’s brain and friendship/love for her. That’s number one to her.

Fitzsimmons kiss count: 1 (Cheek)

I’m so happy we get to add massively to that 

Eventually

If he didn’t know he was in love with his best friend before, Fitz very clearly realizes it at this point. He almost looks sad about it. Like he expects it could or would never happen? Or just doesn’t want to risk that friendship? I don’t know, but it makes me sad for him.

But also happy for him because I know what’s coming.

Eventually

Ok gang, I think we all know this gets like 12 Fitzsimmons out of 10 on the Fitzsimmons scale. It also gets a solid Sciencing the Crap Out of This on the How Hard Are We Sciencing? Scale.

I could make an entire moody playlist just for this episode, but I settled on “Fall” by Ed Sheeran. Get it, because of all the falling? Hahahaha I made myself sad.