#Either Myself or Someone Elss

[breitzbachbea]

After watching a bit of a Luigi's Mansion Let's Play, I am no longer insane and will be back on my bs tomorrow. Goodnight.

[nofoodclub]

Fucking bullshit tumblr deleted my last post but highlight by far is that j is coming over!!! ohmygosh im fucking excited i get to see my friend again its been just about a month now thats far too long without seeing my fp i would prefer a daily dose of j jf it was my call which it clearly is not...either way im just happy with what ive got i was all sulky for like 10 min that none of my efforts worked out then this! I was calling this outcome the least likely of them all even over e which may have been shortsighted but makes this the biggest conquest as well so i get that level of enjoyment out of it too not holding my breath hoping for sex but with how my luck this week has been...its a possibility and one that i would be estatic about i fucking love this man is he bad for me yes is that why i love him so much maybe one of the reasons but with as much processing over it as ive done theres 100% real reasons as well and best part is im pretty sure its not just one sided feelings....def heavily denied on the other parties side but still there im nearly positive...and with how excited we both were to fuck the first time likelyhood is probably pretty high that itll happen again...i really hope it does all of the others this week were to get my mind off its true desire that has finally agreed to come back! Eek im so happy i hope its not gonna be another night like the night before hospital where there was comittment to coming over then flake...actually speaking to him id say its a pretty good chance hes actually comimg but who knows ive freaked him out pretty good...well he did that to himself for committing legitimate offenses to get arrested for my dad would just be following orders, his own orderes but still lol its been 45 min im getting impatient....i wana see him he better hurry idk how much longer my excitement can be contained before i burst. Pretty sure ive already bursted anyways using smoking as an excuse to sit outside so i can listen for cars better so ill know the second he pulls up..any minute now....please i hope its soon i wana see him this is working out so much better than it would have had he come to ws earlier this way i get him all to myself and theres no surprises on his end, granted i bet im a pretty good surprise im kinda really cute and i know he thinks that if only he thought that enough to hurry his cute ass up and come see me already fuck evey car that drives past i get a little tingle of excitement hoping itll be him why cant it be him uhg my infatuation for this dude is a whole new level jk i always let myself get way too into people esp those i let become fps. I didnt even realize he was fp untill it was all over then i was just sad. Ive missed him i let him get so engrained into my daily life that the sudden lack of his presence hit so fucking hard i couldn't deal w it and thats probably why i stopped caring about keeping my shit clean and got the infection heh ill blame him for that im really good at blaming anyone other than myself for all my self imposed shit why take responsibility when i can pass it off on someone else completely undeserving of the blame works out so much better for me...like 0% of the time but i feel better about myself in the momemt and that's enougn for me god damn he needs to show up already i dont have anything elss to say but imma keep going with this till his arrival lol watch me be typing for the next few hours till i pass out i fucking hope not. Manefesting has been super effective for me so heres to manefesting the swift arrival of my love

[hannahsmusings]

*I was happy that Jen seemed to be elss in her head during the rest of the day, knowing her post orgasm state was pretty tired and sleepy and I could only imagine how badly she wanted to cuddle and go to sleep but she was being a good sport and I appreciated it, knowing it had to be hard for her* *I smile at her as I sip my beer, knocking my leg with hers* This is very nice. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you enjoy a beer before, either. *I give her a playful look before taking another long sip of my drink, wanting to lean out and kiss her senseless but knowing I couldn’t, knowing it would just make our time in the tent tonight that much better, the anticipation killing me*

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*cheeks flush as you knock our legs and tease me about the beer, shaking my head with a laugh* Hey! I've been known to be cool and chill and casual with a beer before. *giggles at how ridiculous that sounded and shaking my head* Okay, well I'm trying anyway. *grins up at you, so happy to be here with you and us in our own little bubble as usual, feeling so at peace by your side and it was something I'd been thinking about regularly recently, just how perfect life seemed when I thought about sharing it with you, that thought making me jump a little with intensity and grateful for the distraction when one of the girls begins loudly talking about her ideal wedding* -Jen

Honestly this Island is so beautiful, I feel like I could deffo see myself getting married here? Jared would probably just go with whatever I suggested I reckon, if he hurries up and puts a ring on it! *laughs before glancing over at Renee and Jen, curious about Jen as she was the quieter of the group and being a little nosy about gossip* What about you Jen? Any man on the Horizon?

*blinks a little as she directs the conversation at me, feeling my brow furrow as she immediately suggests man and feels the urge to correct her before my stomach sinks at that realisation that my natural instinct was to dismiss the idea of a man being a partner and wanting to change it to women, that making my hands tremble a little as my cheeks flush with panic and shaking my head at her* Uh, no. No man. -Jen

*groans at her small answer, shaking my head* Aw come on! You must have someone! What about your most recent hook up? Was he big? *squeals a little as me and the other girls laugh, having started drinking a little earlier than everyone else*

*glances at you in panic as she mentions my recent hook up, visions of you flashing through my mind and beginning to piece together how that any hookup with you had been so much more intense than any man I'd been with and beginning to feel that sinking feeling of why that might be, heart racing as it all adds up and feeling sick to my stomach at the thought I could be gay* *looks a little frozen with how to respond, needing an out of this conversation* I-It's been awhile. N-Nothing good to report. -Jen