#Engaged 09x08 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

addictedtostorytelling · 2 years

Note

Do you think Grissom has had sex without love and that’s what made him come to the conclusion sex without love makes him sad where as he loves Sara so it makes him happy ? 🥺🥺❤️❤️

hi, anon!

oh, yeah, for sure. we know he has.

like.

he's stated very clearly that sex without love makes him sad (see episode 07x21 "ending happy") and also that the only person he has ever romantically loved is sara (see episodes 07x24 "living doll" and 16x02 "immortality" pt. ii), but we know for a fact that he's had sex with at least one other person who is not sara—i.e., julia holden (see episode 11x13 "the two mrs. grissoms")—so it's absolutely 100% canon that he's had sex with someone he doesn't love, and by his own admission, doing so has made him sad.

whether or not the sorrow he felt having a sexual relationship with julia even though he didn't love her was what ultimately broke them up, we can't say, but certainly it's a possibility that it was.

as for what other sexual partners he may have had outside of sara and julia, that issue is a matter of conjecture. he may have had a sexual relationship with the college girlfriend he mentions in episode 09x08 "young man with a horn." he also may have had other sexual partners we don't know about.

while some fans also believe that he's had sex with heather kessler, i don't subscribe to that notion for multiple reasons, including that by the time grissom even meets heather, he likely already knows that sex without love makes him sad, and he knows he doesn't love heather, so he wouldn't opt to risk his friendship with her by engaging in a sexual relationship with her, realizing that in all probability it will only end poorly.

in any case, no matter if julia was grissom's only non-sara sexual partner or he had other non-sara sexual partners over the course of his life in addition to her, i think the contrast between his experience(s) with any other potential sexual partner(s) vs. his experience with sara is like night and day for him.

as i talk about here,

honestly, i think he probably has one or more unfortunate experiences (with the college girlfriend and/or julia holden) where though he likes the woman in question very much as a friend, once they start having sex, he finds that he is not as “into it” as she is and that having sex with her actually causes him to feel lonely, isolated, and less connected to her than before.

don’t get me wrong: i don’t think that grissom is “bad at sex” or that he leaves his partners physically unsatisfied.

in fact, i would guess that having little personal interest in the activity himself, he’s actually fairly focused on and attentive to his partner’s needs; generous, as it were.

instead, i think the issue is purely emotional, with him finding himself feeling unenthused by the prospect of and/or reluctant to engage in sexual activities with his partners, even at times when they are very enthusiastic about and eager to engage in sexual activities with him.

having no language with which to contextualize his experience* and not understanding why he isn’t getting out of sex what every other young man his age seems to, he likely ends up feeling very poorly about himself and the relationship.

* while the term “asexual” (used in reference to human sexuality) has existed since the late 1890s in sex research circles, it wasn’t in wide usage among the more general population until recently, and the word “demisexual” wasn’t even coined until 2008. it is therefore unlikely that grissom encounters any information on the topics (beyond his own experience) until he is already in his forties or fifties, if he does ever encounter it at all.

at that point, either the guilt eats at him until he eventually feels compelled to break up with the woman or else—perhaps worse—she realizes that he is disconnected from her/their relationship/their sexual encounters and calls him out, then breaking up with him when he cannot satisfactorily account for his aloof behavior (let alone change it).

meanwhile, with sara,

whether it happens in 1998 or 2005, at some point, grissom does give in to his instincts and sleep with sara for the first time.

and when he does, i think he’s in for a huge shock, because the experience of doing so is so wholly different from anything he’s had with his previous girlfriends that it’s almost like seeing a new color or creating a new note for the scale. whereas all of his previous sexual encounters left him feeling isolated, cutoff, and sad, being with sara feels right in every way; being in love with her truly does make all of the difference in the world for him, where sex is concerned.

that’s not to say that the physical act of sex is always perfect between them—because god knows even people who are generally highly sexually compatible have learning curves and mishaps and off-days and the like—but it is to say that sex with her makes him happy and that he feels good about it, even when it’s not physically perfect, because there is an emotional connection in place.

with sara, he is comfortable, as he knows she loves and accepts him for who he is and he doesn't have to put on a front with her (especially in terms of his sexual behaviors). that he and sara can talk to and laugh with each other in the bedroom probably does wonders in terms of putting him at ease. add in their natural chemistry, the intense sexual attraction between them, how much he loves her and wants to please her, how much she loves him and wants to please him, and the fact that they are committed to each other and are together for a long, long time, and it's no surprise he is so thrilled with their sex life.

there's just a level of tenderness and connection and understanding there that he's never experienced with anyone else but her.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #anon #asks: csi #**#my meta #meta: csi #meta: grissom #let's talk shop #csiverse

15 notes · View notes

thatnamelessblogger · 3 years

Text

Bones Season 9 (2013)

i miss Hodgins long curly hair

Cam is actually a good actress. her subplot of identity theft literally adds nothing tho . idc

yeahh i agree w other ppl, Booth is def just a bully and a jerk. i dont think he changed from his jock days enough. ofc hes closed-minded about medicinal cannabis use

Brennan is honestly just a btch with a huge ego at times that she plays off as autistic and everyone enables her to be a btch

i dont like Dr. Fuentes. i hope hes not staying. hes also a political refugee like Arastoo

i loathe new Squintern Jessica. “quirky” ass btch

i ship Daisy x Wells for some reason lol

Michelle x Finn break up :)

Plant (LOL) timeline concludes! hes freaky

and gov conspiracy timeline starts! ugh

more thoughts under the cut!

09x04 The Sense in the Sacrifice

yasss Booth finally kills Plant

Booth x Bones are engaged again!

09x06 The Woman in White

Booth x Bones wedding

Squintern team up!

09x07 The Nazi on the Honeymoon

honestly want to skip this one bc its literally their honeymoon! hate this troupe of finding work on the honeymoon

damn i thought it would be the cop

09x08 The Dude in the Dam

omg Hodgins is birthing a bug in his neck??? ewwww

09x12 The Ghost in the Killer

Bones goes crazy bc Plant talked abt The Ghost Killer. im a sucker for overarching villains introducing new overarching villains

09x13 Big in the Philippines

omg Wendell has bone cancer? and hes going to fight? stupid idiot. i dont think he can afford treatment anyways, hes usually broke. are they just killing off all the Squinterns with the exception of Clark?

09x15 The Heiress in the Hill

knew she staged her own kidnapping

omg its so sad that Hodgins has a brother in a care facility that he never knew and hes broke now and cant afford it. so sweet of Booth to want to give money to Hodgins for his brother

09x16 The Source in the Sludge

yass the satisfaction . they court martialed the murderer!!

09x18 The Carrot in the Kudzu

Clark is getting his book published? lol it sucks

09x22 The Nail in the Coffin

ik i knew Stephanie McNamara was weird. ofc shes The Ghost Killer. i love the twist, they caught the The Ghost Killers killer

09x24 The Recluse in the Recliner

wow. conspiracy in gov agency... so original. Booth kills three FBI agents and Bones goes crazy... again

#bonestv #bingewatching #crime procedural #booth x brennan #booth x bones #summary #recap #review #season 9 #hodgela

6 notes · View notes