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#Every day I die inside
keirmoonrock · 1 year
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Personal life reveal but you know you’re a violist when you can hear this shit in your nightmares
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soullessjack · 8 months
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a collection or mood-board of sorts
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wulfhalls · 2 months
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teardropwolf · 10 months
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a bit late but happy release day! The end of the countdown is a dandori battle! Hope y'all have fun with pikmin 4!
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angellurgy · 29 days
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#AAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCKFUCKFUCK#CONDTANT UNENDING SILENT SCREAMING#NO WORDS BUT FORCED TO UNDERSTAND STILL UNESCAPABLE I CANT I CANT I CANT#ill never be anything ill never be anything ill never be anything at all to any of you#too fucking tired to go out of the house for so long no way to stop being tired its all wearing down on me like a fucking curse. too much#CANT CANT CANT take 10 more days of this waiting itll just go back to normal after#TRIED TO LIVE BUT WHAT IS THE POINT WHAT IS THERE EVEN FOR ME NO LOVE NO CARE NO IMPORTANCE NO PLACE#FADING MEMORY REMNANTS OF MY SOUL DRIPPING OUT OF MY HEAD LIKE A GUTTER. NO ONE WILL REMEMBER. EVEN I CANT.#AAAAAAAAAAA rotrotrotrotrotrotrotrotrot wish i just had a fucking dad to hold me wish i had a brother to show me the loving care noone will#please. llease. please. nothing left nothing left everyone wants me less with every single post but icant stop#cooped up inside. tumblrs knly good when you have a life outside of it. i cant fight it tho bc of this fucking EXHAUSTION#caused by the emotional pain and exclusion. eternal loop. let me.out#NOT LIKE IT MATTERS TO ANYONE BUT THE FEW WHO CANT HELP. THE FEW WHO CANT MAKE MY SITUATION BETTER. I JUST WANT A GROUP.#I KNOW COMMUNITY ISNT REAL BUT I FUCKING WANT SOMETHING. PLEASE#LET ME OUT. GIVE ME LIFE. INSTEAD OF THIS CONSTANT FUCKING VOID GROWING BLACK MOLD ON THE CREVICES OF MY SKULL#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nothing is giving me life right now i want sometbing i cant create anything i dont wanna die but i have no choice#FIGHT THROUGH THE TIREDNESS WALK INTO THE FOREST IN THE NIGHT AND ROT.#SLIT MY WRISTS EVEN THOUGH IT WONT DO SHIT. LAY ON A BLANKET AND LET THE COLD TAKE ME#WOULDNT BE THE FIRST TIME IVE BEEN CLOSE TO IT. LEAST I CAN GO ALL THE WAY. GOD WHY DO I TRY. I WANT TO TRY. I HAVE NOTHING TO TRY FOR.#NO OTHER CHOICE.
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littleeggrock · 9 months
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If your YouTuber isn't walking around Japan with a little bear figure(s) and putting it in situations what are they doing
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archiveofyearning · 8 months
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blissfali · 9 months
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hey guys. wasnt able to be on tumblr because ivr been busy building this he-man castle grayskull mega construct (knock off lego) set for the past 36 hours. doesnt it look awesome
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uselessnbee · 2 years
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you see that whole gender thing you got goin on there?
HAND IT OVER
IN THE BAG
THIS IS A FOOKING ROBBERY
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seriously can we talk about how fucked up it is that someone told my husband to divorce me just bc i am disabled and can’t power through incredible misery like NTs apparently can
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biillys · 11 months
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a c in english and a c- in spanish. yeah. well, that's not normal for you. if you say so.
STRANGER THINGS — 4.01: the hellfire club
#m#gifs#long post#this post is literally too long but u know what. don't care. didn't ask.#anyway. in the hot version of st that lives in my mind where billy survives#we get like. a parallel type of cut scene here. with max in her school mandated counseling session#then billy in his hospital mandated therapy session#and it cuts between them both#max fidgeting with her headphones. billy tearing what's left of his nails apart.#both being unable to sit still.#them both being stubburn and holding every single fucking emotion so deep inside that they know it'll never see the light of day#both their answers mirroring each other even when they're like. fucking miles apart and have barely spoke since everything happened#like they've seen each other. max basically lives at the hospital. but billy's throats fucked. and max isn't really the chatty type#and they honestly don't even know what to say to each other#so max just sits. reads comics. listens to music. and billy just lies there. prays for death. prays to visit the fucking ocean again.#and they don't talk. but they're there for each other and they Get It in the only way they know how#OR. the au where neil was possessed and both him and susan die#billy and max having to go to see the councelor. fuckin family counseling sessions. or seperate i guess#is billy still in school? i dont actually understand american ages and schooling it has to be said#but like. councelor kelley just being like. wow. they sure are siblings.#okay but if he's not in school then like. court mandated therapy sessions for legal guadian custody of max idk#i just think i would like to see the parallels that couldve been. but like.#sadie sink i owe you my life for making season four have some good scenes and i would die for u#maxmayfieldedit#max mayfield#anyway again this is not the scene i set out to gif. just made like 30 gifs of a scene i didnt even intend on giffing. fuck me
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sherlock-is-ace · 9 days
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#welcome to another installment of: angel spits out all his thoughts about autism cause if he keeps them inside his head will explode#in today's episode: is it possible that my ''panic attacks'' have been autistic meltdowns all this time?#then answer is maybe!#ok so i was watching this youtube video from channel I'm autisticn now what? (check it out it's great!)#and meg was talking about the different types of autistic meltdowns and how they might manifest#and then in the comments people were discussing autistic meltdowns vs panic attacks and how cofused they used to be about them#and that got me thinking... there's a big thing that needs to happen during a panic attack for it to be a panic attack#and that is anxious thoughts... many people talk about fear of death during panic attacks#and that was never my experience. I don't feel like I'm going to die when I have these ''attacks''#they feel painful and like i'm completely out of control but my head is quite clear in that regard#i always thought it was because i don't think dying is like The Worst thing that could happen to me so maybe that was why#and it never ocurred to me that it could be an autistic meltdown because i always saw those as ''little boy hits his head against the wall'#(horrible i know) but it's more than that! (plus i sadly started self harming when the ''attack'' is too bad so not i fit that idea lol)#it's the uncontrollable crying. the throwing anything you have at hand across the room. the not being able to utter words#(other than ''no'' in my case) it's the complete lack of control#and that fits so much more to what i experience! i even related to meg's personal anecdote about a meltdown she had as a child#being separated from my mom made me go into full panic modes as a kid and that was seen as a tantrum but it was more than that to me!#and as an added bonus the only therapist i've ever seen in my life used to call my panic attacks ''pseudo-panic attacks''#because even she felt it didn't quite fit in the description (not that she was a good therapist so i can't put her as an example lol)#but anyways... yeah every day that goes by i'm more and more convinced I am autistic and it scares me to fucking death#because of the way my mom reacted when i first raised the question. so yeah this is for nothing lol nothing will change in my life#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#angel talks#personal
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bylertruther · 2 years
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bad boy mike fics are always good fun yeah but have you all ever considered writing something where will is the mischievous little rascal from the wrong side of the tracks that listens to loud music and always has little rogue paint splatters on his hand-me-downs or charcoal smudges on his cheek n says the most out of pocket shit under his breath that no one ever hears except for eleven and mike and yet no one believes him when he repeats what will said bc will jus looks so sweet tht obviously he would never say tht mike and mike is the more strait-laced kid that lives in a three story house at the end of the cul-de-sac with his purposely and perfectly disheveled and brand new get-up that gets flustered whenever will suggests they do something they maybe shouldn't but ultimately agrees without question because hello in what world could he ever look into those big hazel eyes of will's and somehow say no? it's literally impossible and he never regrets it even if they do get home late which of course makes hop chew him out when he catches them even though it was will's idea to begin with but again no one ever believes him n it's not like he'd rat him out anyway and coming from such different backgrounds they really shouldn't fit but they do and they're inseparable and even if it's messy cozy and all too lived-in mike feels more at home at the byers-hopper house than he ever does in his castle filled with ghosts and honestly probably for the first time ever actually and obviously they'd make their own adventures for when life gets to be too much bc will feels like he's drowning and mike feels like he's invisible and it's just will with his sketchbook and mike with his leather journal and they talk about anything and everything and share things they've never ever said to anyone else before and ofc when they talk about the future it's always about where they'll go to college together and how they're obviously going to dorm together and get an apartment afterward bc they're undoubtedly going to escape this shitty little town one day and they're clearly Something but also maybe too scared to Be something and . and. is anyone gonna write this or am i gonna have to be a big boy and do it myself 🙄
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famousblueraincoatmp3 · 5 months
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Do you drink every weekend? Isnt that alcoholism
well i did miss the outlet when i was plugging in my phone cord this morning
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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simplydnp · 2 months
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I’m so sorry you are going through this- I’m sending vibes
thank you anon <3
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