pain-in-the-butler · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Someone very special is on the way !!!!!
40 notes · View notes
ace-turned-confused · 6 months ago
Text
shiftin' gear | part one
Tumblr media
joel masterlist | series masterlist
Tumblr media
pairing: mechanic!joel x f!reader series outline: a slacker of a boyfriend, no job, and now your car needs serious maintenance. heading to the mechanic’s, you’re just expecting him to rid you of your car troubles and move on — you’re certainly not expecting him to change your life chapter summary: your dad finally takes you to have your car fixed, where you meet joel miller — dangerously handsome and charming beyond words word count: 3,7k warnings: 18+ only, reader is able-bodied and wears a dress, description of a rather useless boyfriend, strained father-daughter relationship, probably highly incorrect information about cars, smutty thoughts a/n: i watched one single fifteen minute video about changing brakes, so if anyone needs a bootleg mechanic you can hmu and i'll be there 🫡 endless hugs & head pats to @frannyzooey for not only all the help on this chapter, but all the kindness & encouragement overall 💜
Tumblr media
Your car’s had warning lights on for probably a dangerous amount of time. You’d told your dad numerous times what was going on, not that it mattered all that much to him because the car still gets you from A to B and maybe if you drove a bit more delicately then these things wouldn’t need maintenance so often.
If you turn the music up loud enough it just drowns all that out – both the warnings and your dad’s constant berating. Coming home one night, you try one last time to ask him for help.
“Some jackass cut right across me on the freeway, I made sure he knew exactly what I thought of him though. Lucky I didn’t fly out through the windshield when I slammed on my brakes, considering there's more warnings on my dash than on a fuckin’ storm-season weather report.”
That seemed to do the trick, God, if only you’d done this a month ago. Suddenly he was scouring his search and call history for some mechanic he’d been to for his own car – “Miller’s Auto Repair”, though he doesn’t know who the Miller in question is, saying he dealt with some young boy named Eddie with greasy hair and stains on his shirt to match.
He found some time in his oh-so-busy schedule to go with you. Was he about to lecture you on your attitude? Definitely, but at least your car’s going to be fixed.
-
You park in the street behind your dad and haul yourself out of your car, walking up to meet him. Taking in the place, it looks decent enough – tools scattered around, a young guy working on a car on a lift, plastic chairs and a steel leg table off to one side. Maybe decent is a slight exaggeration, but it’s spacious and airy and doesn’t reek of sweat and toxic masculinity. You’re certainly out of place, the sun blazing down on you in your simple daisy-print dress and you feel slightly overdressed.
An older man comes out of a partitioned-off room, the drywall not quite reaching the rafters and sheet metal above. He’s wearing well-fitted and surprisingly chic black coveralls — a hint of skin peeking from behind the lapel, cuffs buttoned up below his elbows, belt around his hips and there are even pleats in the pant legs. And you thought you were overdressed. You mindlessly smooth out your dress, suddenly feeling like you haven’t made enough of an effort.
It’s not that you were expecting someone unattractive, but the man waltzing towards you is criminally handsome — if only you could find a boy your own age who looked like this. A part of you is actually jealous your dad found this place before you did.
He reaches out to both you and your father with a firm handshake, “Name’s Joel. What can I do for ya?”
“My daughter here’s been having some car troubles.” He gestures to you and you notice Joel gives you a once-over and nods.
Taking the silence as your queue to speak, you start listing everything gone wrong with your car. “First it told me the brake pads need changing, and that was about, what, six weeks ago now?” You glare at your dad, your tongue in your cheek and arms tight across your chest.
“Told you I’ve been busy, you know this.” He matches your look and you turn your attention back to Joel, rolling your eyes and he smirks ever so slightly.
“Aircon needs regassing, and the headlights don’t seem to want to go bright anymore.”
“Well, lights and aircon are quick fixes, can do both right now for you, not expensive. I’ll take a look at the brakes and see if we have sets here that’ll work and let you know about that.”
Your dad excuses himself when his phone starts ringing, leaving you alone with Joel.
“So why’d you bring your dad with? You seem capable enough to me.” He crosses his arms, tilting his head.
“I’d rather not have some macho mechanic clock me from a mile away, and end up getting handled for knowing fuck all about cars. No offence.” Joel smiles at your brash commentary, leaning closer towards you. “Wouldn’t do that to a pretty girl like you. Cute dress, those your favourite?”
You’re not quite sure what he’s talking about, to be honest — a fog came over your mind after ‘pretty girl’ fell from his lips and you stand there in silence, mouth hanging open in a daze.
He leans to the side and points to your chest, snapping you back to reality. “The daisies on your dress? That your favourite flower?”
“Oh! No, uh…” Your voice fades off, unsure of what to do about the heat creeping up your neck and into your ears.
 Joel just smirks at you. “You can bring in that car of yours onto the lift, sweetheart.”
You nod and start walking away, your dad ending his call and he’s already asking questions about the cost of all this work. Getting in your car again, you’re flustered. All this man has done is call you sweetheart and pretty once and it’s all you can think about. You pull your car up to the shop, lining up with the lift as best you can and roll down your window.
Joel leans into the open window with a slanted smile, voice low enough for just you to hear him, “Lined up perfectly there, just go slow and I’ll tell you when to stop,” and God if that doesn’t have your mind racing. You give him a weak smile and manoeuvre your car onto the lift, stopping when he raises his hand. Pulling the bonnet lever and climbing out, you move to stand with your dad again, stepping over discarded rags and dried oil stains.
Joel does what looks to you like a whole lot of fiddling and tapping and knocking of random car parts under the bonnet, and takes the light covers off to change the bulbs; he takes a wheel off and checks the brakes and you watch him the whole time. Skilled and calloused hands moving with ease, your mind wanders off to what else he’s good at with his hands. Crouching down to feel around a toolbox, his coveralls pull tight around his ass and thighs. That heat you felt a few minutes ago only getting worse just from watching him work, embarrassment washing over you – though not enough to look away.
Everything looks like it’s back in place and he lowers the lift, walking towards you and your dad. “Gas and bulbs are done, should be good as new now. Brakes you’re gonna have to come back for, though. Eddie just used the last of the pads and discs you need on that car there, but we can get 'em easily enough, should be here next week.” You nod at him, not sure if it’s easier to look him in the eye or avoid him altogether.
“And you can’t get them any sooner? Or, how long are these current ones gonna be safe for? I’m out of town again next week and–”
“It’s fine, next week is fine.” You put a hand out to cut your dad off and shake your head. You’re really not in the mood for his entitlement, and truthfully you’re looking forward to the chance to come here again without him.
“You gonna manage on your own?” he asks, his tone almost mocking and eyebrows raised.
“I’ll be fine, thanks,” you chirp back, voice curt and monotone.
“You sure?” Of course, he wasn’t going to believe you were capable.
“I’ll get Jake to come with me. It’s fine. Really.”
Right, Jake – your boyfriend. Someone you should’ve been thinking of a long time ago, when instead you were all but undressing Joel with your eyes, imagining the nice things he’d do for you, with you, to you.
You and Jake have been together just over a year now, slept together a handful of times, and all around he’s a decent guy. You met while you both were in training and were given the same placements for industry experience. He’s never done anything inherently bad to you, but lately, you’ve found yourself putting more and more distance between you — subconsciously initially, but now it feels more like a chore to spend time with him.
He’s been sweet and kind to you from the start, but it would be nice to have him make an effort every so often, brag about you, show you off. His grand plan for celebrating your anniversary was taking you out for lunch and calling it a day; if he visits while your dad’s around, the two of them spend more time talking than you do. It’s been about two months since he fucked you, if you could even call it that, and you’re tired of either faking an orgasm or reassuring him it’s fine you never came when you forget to put on the act at all.
You can’t picture someone like Joel giving you such mediocre treatment and being satisfied with that, living life so blissfully unaware.
Joel’s voice snaps you out of your fog and you notice your dad’s already walked out.
“See you then,” and he retreats with a tilt of his head and a wink.
Fuck it’s going to be a long week.
-
Joel already texted your dad three days ago to say you could come in, and you’ve been oddly nervous about it, your mind racing: what’s gonna be the quietest time to go, I wonder if Joel will be too busy with another job, I should make sure I’m not wearing the same dress again. You even made sure you washed your hair the night before in preparation, scolding yourself the whole time – he’s some random guy fixing your car, not to mention you do have a boyfriend.
Eddie’s nowhere to be seen, Joel’s wearing those same coveralls and there’s music playing from a worktop speaker.
“Afternoon, princess,” he holds your door open, eyes following you across the room, just the same as the week before. “Thought you were bringing a friend – what was his name?”
Fingers toying with the hem of your top, you only hope you made the right decision coming here alone. You’re not worried about something that Joel would say or do, no, but worried about something you yourself might. You never were good at hiding your feelings; you pray he can’t see through you.
“Oh, Jake?” You could keep it a secret and enjoy Joel’s attention a while longer but weighing up your options, maybe it’s better to just be honest with him. “He’s my boyfriend. He was uh, busy… today. So, just me.” He doesn’t need to know you never even asked Jake to accompany you to begin with.
“Is it cool if I stay while you work?” you ask timidly. “I can get a ride home though, if you’d prefer.”
“It’s no trouble, here.” He pulls a stool towards you, wiping it off with a smile. Joel gets to work on your car and it’s like a show, just for you. Definitely the right choice to come alone, you smile to yourself.
“So this boyfriend of yours, what’s he like?” he shouts out from the far side of your car and your smile drops.
“Oh, uh… he’s nice.” He is nice, but you can’t be bothered to think of anything worthwhile to say about him.
Joel rounds your car to stop and look at you. “Sounds to me like you don’t want ‘nice’.” His eyes trail up and down your figure and you gawk at his remark. Okay, maybe he actually can see right through you.
“Well, my dad really likes him. Says it’s good to have someone to ground you, or whatever.” Joel simply nods in response and turns his attention back to your car.
You take the opportunity to really take him in this time, with no dad around as a source of shame. Thick curls that you would love to run your hands through, sculpted nose, well-trimmed moustache, grey and patchy scruff for a beard, wide back and broad shoulders and firm chest and—
God, you need to think of something else before you get carried away. Again. You look around the room to refocus on something more appropriate, taking in all the arbitrary decor. Dog-eared posters of old rock bands, exposed bulbs dotted between fluorescent lights, a chain of mini chequered flags strung up along the wall.
You risk another look at Joel and see he’s taken two wheels off already, doing more twisting and turning of car parts you never even knew were there in the first place.
“What’s that?”
He looks to you over his shoulder, coveralls pulling tight again over his arms and back.
“What, this? Called a calliper. Holds the brake pads that squeeze against the disc, stopping the car.” You purse your lips, nodding slowly and Joel huffs out a laugh, facing away again. “Got any siblings that need car part lessons?” He continues, “Or better yet, maybe they can teach you instead.”
“Nope, just me. What about you? Any other Millers gracing the town?” You see him shake his head and he chuckles to himself. 
“Got a brother, Tommy. He’s in construction. I worked with him a while back — much prefer this, though. What’s a girl like you do? Working your dream job?”
‘I’m uh, in between jobs, actually. I’m a chef — was a chef.” You look down to your lap, picking your nails. “I quit. Place was full of sexist dickheads. They suggested I put myself forward for promotion, then gave it to some egotistical asshole with both less experience and qualification. So I told them exactly where they could shove their promotion and never went back.”
You sigh and look up and see Joel’s already watching you, a faint smile on his face almost like he’s proud of you for standing your ground. His eyes are a mix of sympathy and understanding — not something you’re often on the receiving end of.
“I know I kinda fucked myself quitting like that, but I was tired of constantly being treated like shit. And not a fuck was I gonna stick around and take orders from a guy like that.” You crack a smile and Joel matches it.
“You keepin’ yourself busy?”
“Trying to figure out what’s next. Not sure if maybe I should do some more training somewhere, expand my skill set y’know, or just find another job. Not very easy with my dad breathing down my neck.” Joel nods, and his keen attention spurs you on. He’s one of few people who have actually listened to you about all this without giving you his own unwanted opinion or unsolicited advice.
“Only real silver lining is having time to pick up some old hobbies again. And talking to you, I guess.” Joel gives you a skew grin and you smile bashfully, lowering your gaze as you feel your cheeks redden.
“So what do you get up to when you’re not talkin’ to me, then?”
“Bits and pieces here and there. It’s been nice to get back into piano again.”
“Keen musician, are you? Play guitar myself, do a lot of the stuff that’s been playing here.”
The mental image of Joel playing guitar is not good for keeping your mind out of the gutter, and you're soon thinking about what one hand looks like plucking away at the strings, the other in a firm grip around the neck. One hand plucking away at you, the other in a firm grip around your neck. You stop yourself before that runs rampant in your mind, focusing on the song playing in the background.
“Wait, can you play In The Gallery?” You lean forward, eyebrows shooting up to your hairline, a grin spreading across your face in shock and amazement.
“You know this?” Joel points off in no direction, giving you the same bewildered look, and your expression changes from that of awe to insult.
“Of course I do, it’s Dire Straits. Look, I may know jack shit about cars but I do know other things. Do you sing, too?”
He shifts his weight to one leg, cocking his head to the side. “Do you?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You flash a smile and he faces away again.
Joel’s bolted the front wheels back and is busy removing the rear ones when a phone starts ringing above the music.
“Hands a little full here. Can you answer? It’s just on the bench there.”
Your eyes widen slightly, but you stand and make your way to find it. Sliding to answer, you hold the phone to one ear and press a finger in the other to drown out the noise, slinking off towards Joel’s office.
-
Joel watches as you walk into his office, phone pressed into your ear. He’s been thinking about you since you arrived with your dad last week, and he’s glad to spend some time hearing what you have to say. And, you know, getting to really look at you without your dad around. 
He thought you looked beautiful in that dress last week — thought what you’d look like out in public with him in that same dress, with his jacket over your shoulders as the air grows cold, you writhing underneath him behind closed doors and waking up in his shirt next to him the following morning. He scolded himself when you drove off last week for allowing himself that indulgence, that twisted fantasy about a girl as young as you — but seeing how you are today, maybe he was right all along.
You’ve been staring at him since you parked, and the way you bite your bottom lip and openly ogle at him when you think he doesn’t notice tells him you’re thinking about the same things, too. 
You seemed shy, scared even, when you first stood in front of him, overshadowed by your father and his clear frustration with you. It seems you have no issue with pushing him, but he can see in the way you stand, closed off, and hear the unease in your constant defence that maybe this eats away at you more than you like to admit. He’s spent a mere two hours with you so far, and you shine when you’re free to say whatever you want, be whoever you want.
Your boyfriend Jake, however — he might be a challenge. Your smile faded when he was mentioned, saying your father’s fond of him, that he’s nice. Maybe you haven’t been together all that long, or on the contrary, been together too long, but if ‘nice’ is his most redeeming quality… He took your indifference and curt response as a sign to not push any further for now, but that boy, whoever he is, clearly doesn’t know how to keep a girl like you happy.
He’s considering fabricating some story of something else that needs repairs on your car just so you’d have a reason to come back, even if under false pretence. You probably would believe him given the evident gaps in your knowledge, but the risk of breaking your trust might not be worth it. He should keep his distance.
He focuses on the task at hand again and finds himself paying extra attention to his work. You won’t recognise good handiwork, but he knows you’ll be excited about having a fully functional car again. It’s not much, but seeing that winning smile spread across your face will be enough for him.
-
Much like Joel himself, it seems, his office is pleasantly well-kept, bar a few too many half-empty coffee mugs and stray papers littering the desk. A tatty plaid-print couch against the back wall, a mini fridge tucked next to the desk, a leather jacket hung over his chair. Blinds drawn and with no sign of Joel approaching, you trace your fingers across the collar, wondering what it would feel like hanging over your own shoulders, arms drowning in the too-long sleeves and you drowning in him.
You leave his office to walk back towards him and Joel raises his eyebrows questioningly, wiping his hands off on a rag. “So?”
“Woman named Hazel? She didn’t leave much of a message, she just asked if you could call her back. Said you’d have her number.” You hand the phone to him, his hands cool compared to the heat burning under your skin.
“Ah, guess I should,” he mumbles, a hand coming up to scratch the nape of his neck.
“Hm, so who’s Hazel? Is she pretty?” You wiggle your eyebrows at him, a cheeky grin on your face.
Joel scoffs a laugh. “Nobody you need to worry about, not my type.” You feel an odd sense of assurance at his admission. “Well, everything’s done, you’re good to go. Your dad paid last week already.”
“And what about all the hard work you put into this? Surely I owe you something for that?”
“You spendin’ the afternoon was payment enough.” He smiles at you, eyes softening. “I’ll see ya round, sweetheart. Come by any time, I mean it. And hey, if you ever need a change of scenery, you’re welcome to come answer the phone for me.”
You’re not entirely sure if he’s seriously offering you a job or just passing it off as banter. It would get you out of the house and put a bit of extra cash in your pockets; you’d get to spend days on end around Joel, watch him work, and maybe get a glimpse into who he is beyond the charming mechanic you know so far. 
It would certainly test your resolve being so close to him. You consider all the afternoons that may look like the one you’ve just had — easy work, no Eddie or other customers around, just you and Joel and the tension between you. You suppose you’d have to find something to do to pass the time on days like these… Then again, do you really want to risk having him see you as just the girl who answers the phone?
Maybe you can fake something, an excuse to bring you back here to see him again. The ruse wouldn’t last long, not when Joel takes one look at the car and sees clear as day there’s nothing wrong, but you can pin it all on inexperience. Either way, you won’t be forgetting him any time soon.
Tumblr media
comments & reblogs are hugely appreciated, forehead kisses to all 💜
dividers by @saradika-graphics
288 notes · View notes
seasidefallenangel · 4 months ago
Text
you're going to die in your best friend's arms.
and you play along because it's funny, because it's written down,
you've memorized it,
it's all you know.
- planet of love, richard siken (crush)
[cw: character death]
Tumblr media
“can you make sure to spike chuuya’s wine with a laxative before he gives a speech at my funeral?” your words cause a twitch of dazai’s lips - ever so slightly. even now as you bleed out on a rooftop, you’re scheming with him about the best way to piss off your third - (friend? enemy? collaborator? you never bothered with specifics.)
you’re closer than strangers, because you know chuuya will grab a vintage and smash the neck against the counter, not bothering with decorum while he drinks over the death of someone dear to him ; you know that dazai will torture chuuya in the meantime so he doesn’t have to face the reality that you won’t come back. you’re also aware that while dazai is your best friend, you are not his, and that might be the one regret you die with.
“you lie all the time, samu,” you say with a pained cough, ignoring the blood trickling out of your mouth. it’s not that different to the one night you and dazai got blackout drunk at your apartment while watching shitty bootleg animated movies and woke up with drool sliding down your cheeks. 
“... so can you lie to me and say i’m the most important person in your life? dying wishes and all.” dazai hates the smile on your face because he’s imagined this scenario no less than 30 times with all different methods, except you were holding him and sobbing while he was finally able to rest. it’s wrong in every way possible - to the point where he debates joining you.
but that would be selfish, because this is your moment ; and while he’s never been one to deny himself of his own desires, this is one he doesn’t think he can stomach. 
he repeats it back to you, knowing you don’t believe him, but you let out the most pathetic cheer anyway because you somehow feel like a winner even now. your head is facing the sky and you speak to him once more, a smile in your tone.
“it’s really pretty, but ‘m gonna go to iceland and see the aurora borealis - now that is a sky worth dying for. and then after, maybe i’ll go climb mount everest. and by climb, i mean i’ll have chuuya fly me up.” with strained motion and a wince neither of you mention, you slowly turn your head to look at the boy holding you close, letting the flowing crimson from your body stain his existence, and say, “you’ll be there with me, right? we still have a lot to do.” he nods and responds, “of course i will,” with a hoarse whisper.
satisfied, you squeeze his hand with the last bit of strength in your body before finally resting. that stupid smile is still on your face, and dazai knows that the sight will haunt him for the rest of his life - the one you should be by his side for.
Tumblr media
112 notes · View notes
manicplank · 8 months ago
Note
Alright this is a dumb one but
Each of there thoughts on the plushies, both bootleg and official
Plushies!
(my phone kept fucking crashing so this is like the third time I've written this out. sorry if it's kind of lazy.)
Peppino: Who in the world made these things??? And why? He doesn't understand why people would want a plush of him. At least his plush is kind of cute. He supposes it isn't so bad. Maybe he should start selling plushies of himself to bring in some money.
Gustavo: Well, look at this handsome hunk of chef! He loves little bootleg Gustavo, it looks just like him! He thinks the other plushies are cute, too! He's thinking about buying Peppino a Noise plush for April fool's.
Mr. Stick: It's genius! Why didn't he think of it before? Bootleg plushes are a perfect way of marketing something that isn't his! Wait... WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE ONE? THE TOPPIN MONSTERS GET A PLUSH BUT HE DOESN'T?! He is FUMING! And also kind of sad...
Pepperman: Well, well, look at this! He loves the plush of himself! It's almost as handsome as he is! The other plushes aren't as good as his. He figures he has fans, considering they were willing to buy plushes of him. This fuels his ego.
The Vigilante: He thinks they're hilarious! He doesn't really care that he doesn't have one of his own. He thinks it's funny that people are buying plushes of the others. It doesn't surprise him that The Noise plushes are flying off the shelves. However, he thinks Noisette's plush is... questionable.
The Noise: HAHAHAHA! Why didn't he think of this before? He might make his own Nouse plushes and sell them with the rest of the NTV merchandise. He thinks Peppino's is ugly, of course.
Noisette: Finally! She can have as many Noises as she wants to squish and squeeze him whenever she wants! She buys 15 of the bootleg and 15 of the official. The Noise is weirded out but also relieved. Maybe she'll stop squishing him constantly...
Fake Peppino: He loves them and has one of each! They're all sticky and goopy since he tried to eat them. (He ate them all and then threw them up. He couldn't digest them.)
Pizzahead: He TOTALLY DOESN'T have a bunch of his own plushes. He has maybe one or two of Peppino. He snuggles them close every night.
Pillar John: Oh no! The bootleg plush of him is the short, mean version of him! It makes him sad. Hopefully, nobody has bought it. He doesn't want people to think he's a mean dude. As for the others, he really doesn't care.
Gerome: WHAT. THE. FUCK. Who made this and why? He's insulted, it looks nothing like him! At least the others resemble their character, but his? He looks like he was thrown in an incinerator! He's livid!
-
This is Gerome's btw. Look how they massacred my boy!!!
Tumblr media
27 notes · View notes
gremlinshitposterthesecond · 11 months ago
Text
Stress Management
Tumblr media
A/N: Hello! I didn’t introduce myself the first time, I’m a horny goblin who only posts raunchy things after midnight when they’ve had their fill on fluff posts. I strive for the most vivid, vulgar scenes. I hope you enjoy the Pt. 2 of this exploration of a ‘What’s Mine is Yours” alternate timeline. Reminder that Kenshi still has his eyes and my OC is a black woman.
WARNING: This post contains graphic depictions of sex and includes discussion of polygamous sexual acts (M/M/M/M/F), oral (f!rec/m!rec), double penetration, (unprotected) P in V, and more. Minors DNI! Read at your own discretion!
Adelaide walked in through the door and kicked off her black heels haphazardly. It joined the mess of 4 other pairs of shoes as she stretched, popping some joints and pulling taunt muscles.
“How was your day?” Raiden made his way around the corner to greet her with a kiss.
“Pretty damn stressful honestly. I was by myself today since Johnny had scheduled interviews and people haven’t gotten the memo that I’m not the one to fuck around with.” Adelaide continued to get comfortable as she took her dreadlocks out of their professional bun and rubbed her scalp, sighing in relief.
“Come, sit down. I’ll have Lao make you some tea.” Raiden took her hand and guided her to the couch. He then walked away, probably to find the aforementioned man. He returned with him in tow before they split ways: Raiden back to Adelaide’s side and Lao to the kitchen.
Instead of sitting on the couch beside her, he took a spot in front of her facing away from the television. She was about to ask what he was doing but he silenced her with a look that said “Let me do this for you”. He began rolling up the leg of her dress pants and began massaging her calves and feet.
Adelaide let out a long sigh at the relief he was providing her before Lao came out with her tea. She also gave him a peck on the lips for his service and invited him to sit next to her.
“Thank you boys. I would rather not think for the remainder of the day.”
It was already late into the afternoon, basically transitioning into the evening. The good thing was that it was Friday, so Adelaide did not have to get up early from the comfort of Johnny’s king bed and untangle herself from the limbs of four different people.
“I need a nap.” Adelaide announced to seemingly no one.
Lao chuckled, “You sound like one of those bootleg devices when they need to be charged,” he stated before he mimicked the “Battery low” announcement.
Adelaide and Raiden laughed with him and she set the teacup on the coffee table before resting her head on Lao’s lap. He gingerly ran his hands through her hair. Raiden, who finally joined on the couch, still rubbed circles into her calf which allowed her to drift into sleep.
When she awoke, before she even opened her eyes, she was met with the sound of conversation. She made out Raiden and Lao’s voice with the addition of two others. She opened her eyes to see that Johnny and Kenshi had joined the relaxing session. Johnny spotted her first.
“She’s alive!” He proclaims, as if he was Dr. Frankenstein.
Rubbing her eyes and sitting up, Adelaide asked, “How long was I out?”
“Only about 30 minutes. We ordered takeout in the meantime if you don’t mind.” Kenshi held up his phone to show the status of the order.
As if on cue, Adelaide’s stomach growled.
“What’re we getting?”
“That place that sells both Chinese and Japanese cuisine.” Raiden stated, now with a hand on her thigh, still rubbing soft circles.
Johnny had gotten up from his position on the other couch with Kenshi before pushing Kung Lao out of the way, plopping himself next to Adelaide.
“Hey!” Lao said in an offended manner.
“Your cuddle time is up, Panda. I haven’t seen her all day and she’s my agent.” Like a child, Johnny stuck his tongue out. Also like a child, Kung Lao crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.
“Speaking of,” Kenshi rose too.
“Noooo.” Raiden slumped down, using dead weight to his advantage as Kenshi tried lifting him away from Adelaide.
“Raiden, I swear to the Elder Gods —“ Kenshi grumbled through grit teeth as he dragged Raiden off the couch. “Are you seriously Earthrealm’s champion?”
Raiden accepted defeat as Kenshi managed to drag him off the couch and onto the floor before plopping himself down in his previous seat.
“You are all hopeless.” Adelaide smiled as she cradled Johnny and Kenshi’s heads. At the same time, Kenshi and Johnny turned their faces to her and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
Checking her watch, she say that it was only 7 PM. “How long ‘til the food gets here?”
Kenshi checked his phone again, “35 minutes.”
She arose suddenly, causing the cuddle pile to collapse in and Johnny to let out a dejected whine.
“Don’t worry, I’m just going to take a quick shower.” She pat his head.
“Without me?” All the men said in unison.
“You guys are gross.”
After performing her usual routine, Adelaide came back downstairs to the living room much more comfortable. She wore one of Kenshi’s sweatpants that she had to roll up a few times and one of Raiden’s shirts that came down to her the middle of her thigh. She was just in time to see Raiden receiving multiple bags of food.
While she was distracted, Kenshi came up from behind and gave her a little tap on her ass.
“Looking good.” Kung Lao added who saw the quick interaction.
“You know, if you weren’t my agent, I’m sure someone would scout you for a model.” Johnny cooed.
Adelaide stood unamused in the entryway to the kitchen with her baggy clothes and acne patches plastered over her face.
“I look like a cryptid.”
“You look great, angel. Let’s watch a movie, yeah?” Kung Lao picked her up and carried her back the couch.
Johnny browsed through the steaming services raving about each movie he had seen before finally settling on one that was dramatic.
Already 10 minutes in, Adelaide shifted in her seat while picking up some fried rice with her chopsticks, “Ugh, I hate secondhand embarrassment, this could’ve been solved with a simple conversation.”
She was positioned between Raiden and Johnny while Kenshi laid in between Kung Lao’s legs, his head on his stomach.
“You’re thinking too much, my love.” Raiden went back to circling her thigh. Adelaide tried not to think about how high his hand was.
“I’m just saying…” her voice turned shy.
One of the actors in the movie began monologuing, which meant it was prime time for conversation.
Kenshi looked up from Lao’s lap and asked Adelaide about her day as he and Johnny weren’t around when she said the first time.
“I’m a little stressed. Most people don’t take me seriously so I have to be a hard ass and my brain has to be on all the time.”
Johnny wrapped a hand around her waist before cooing over her more.
“Aww poor baby. If they disrespect you let me know and I’ll be sure they are blacklisted.” He finished with a kiss to her neck.
Fighting a moan, Adelaide responded “I can take care of myself.”
Kenshi looked at Kung Lao who was already looking at him. Kenshi looked over at the trio and saw that Raiden and Johnny were also already looking at him, they were fighting back smirks. He loved that they all were on the same page.
Lao spoke next, “ But you always take care of everything. You take care of us, Johnny in more ways than one. He’s hopeless without you.”
“Watch it.”
Adelaide could barely make anything out of their words of affirmation as Raiden’s hand was ridiculously close to her core, still rubbing tight circles into her skin. She also realized that Johnny’s breath was on her neck.
Raiden set things in motion when his hand broke the waistband of the pants she was wearing. He laughed when he found out that was all she was wearing.
He whispered, “Maybe you need to stop thinking for a while.” as he trailed a finger up and down her wet slit.
Adelaide’s breath had become real heavy as she tried to shift in place only to realize that Johnny’s arm across her waist prevented her from moving.
She whined at her predicament. They became even louder when Raiden started kissing and licking her neck. The sounds were cut short when Johnny pressed his lips to hers, the make out intense and sloppy. Meanwhile, Raiden’s fingers shifted to rub her clit which made her jump in their hold and moan in Johnny’s mouth.
“There you go. Relax and let us take care of you.” Kenshi got off Kung Lao to get closer to the view. Lao followed suit.
“Take these off.” Kung Lao said, grabbing the waistband of her pants, pulling them down and off.
Now, she was on full display, one leg over Raiden’s lap, the other over Johnny’s, as Raiden toyed with her. Her shirt was pushed up to reveal her breasts.
Adelaide felt extreme heat creep up to her cheeks at how vulgar the wet sounds that were coming from her were and all Raiden and Johnny did was simply touch her.
Raiden spread his fingers which separated her lips and Kenshi watched as she clenched around nothing. Not being able to hold back anymore, Kenshi licked a stripe from her entrance all the way to her clit. The pressure and texture of Kenshi’s tongue made Adelaide throw her head back and her chest rose fully as she gasped.
“Pretty thing, all fucked out and we’ve barely begun.” Johnny teased. Kung Lao hummed in agreement, remembering the words she spoke to him about a week ago. Her legs were spread wide enough for both Kenshi and Lao to fit so as Kenshi moved back to readjust himself, Kung Lao took up the mantle and also tasted her. He reveled in her moans and whimpers as he sucked on her clit. Raiden joined in on the teasing, “You know, you should look at them when they please you. I haven’t heard a single ‘thank you’, yet.” He moved his hand from spreading her open to trace all over her body, pinching and rolling her nipples between his fingers.
Johnny co-signed, “Yeah, would be a shame to tell them to stop.” as he reached up from her waist to wrap a sturdy hand around her neck, forcing her to watch her defilement. He emphasized ‘stop’ and looked at Kung Lao to make sure he got the message who immediately detached his mouth from her. Not being able to taste directly from the source, Kenshi grabbed Lao’s chin and made out with him, groaning at the taste.
“No! Please! I-I’ve been good. I’ll remember my manners. Please don’t stop.” Adelaide rambled exasperated, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes glazed over as she watched Kenshi and Lao.
“I can’t say no to that.” Kenshi spoke up, a string of spit still connecting him to Lao.
Raiden sucked her tongue and made out with her as approval and appeasement. He folded like a lawn chair every time she begged. He continued his ministrations on her chest. Johnny kissed her neck and shoulder, simultaneously nipping and licking over them.
Both wanting to taste her more, Kenshi and Kung Lao dove back in. Kenshi focused on her clit, tracing slow circles over it. Lao stiffened his tongue and prodded her entrance, flicking his tongue to find a hot spot.
Adelaide mewled at the dual pleasure. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…”
“Mhm,” was all Raiden said in response before pulling her back in to the kiss.
This continued for another minute or two before Adelaide was squealing and wriggling uncontrollably.
“I’m gonna make a messsss.” She announced, her eyes rolling to the back of her head.
“Aht aht. If you wanna cum, you’re gonna look at them and thank them, yeah?” Johnny said. In response, the men between her legs made their movements faster and added more pressure.
“Yes, sir. Oh God. Ken~. Lao~. Please. Please.” Adelaide opened her eyes to catch Kenshi and Lao looking right at her, groaning as she called their names. Adelaide gasped as without warning, her orgasm washed over her. She couldn’t even warn them or produce any sound at the intensity as it wracked her body. Raiden and Johnny stopped what they were doing to watch as Adelaide squirted.
“Shit…” Raiden bit his lip.
Kenshi caught the brunt of it, but allowed some to spill past his lips where Kung Lao caught it.
When it was over, Adelaide still twitched in aftershocks, but whispered a subtle “thank you”.
Kenshi and Kung Lao got up from their spots and made their way to their other partners on the couch. Kenshi climbed into Raiden’s lap, making sure to not crush Adelaide, and allowed the remaining liquid from her orgasm to drip into his mouth as they passionately kissed. Raiden groaned at the taste. Meanwhile, Johnny essentially attacked Kung Lao, pushing him back onto the ground and climbing on top of him. He pinned his wrists and assertively got a taste of his own.
After a few moments to regain her consciousness, Adelaide whimpered “Why am I the only one naked right now?”
The men around her chuckled before beginning to remove their clothes for her sake. Adelaide bit her own lip as Kenshi’s tattoos made themselves known again. Her eyes crossed over to Lao whose broad chest was now on display and Raiden whose lighting powers made themselves known, etching lighting streaks over his shoulders. Johnny’s v-like was so cut and delicious that Adelaide could spend all day tracing it.
She rose on shaky legs and approached Kenshi, who looked at her curiously as he began undoing the buttons on his pants. She stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck before pulling him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his tongue. Kenshi pulled her closer by her waist before sitting down, pulling her on top of him. Immediately, Adelaide felt the intense bulge against her still soaking core. It’s as if Kenshi could read her mind, pulling his boxers down enough to reward her with a stiff cock.
She turned to face away from him before lifting herself over his member. With how wet she was, he was able to slip in easily, but it had been a minute since Adelaide had been involved in any of their activities so she went slow as the stretch nearly sent her over the edge. Once she finally sat at the base, she was ready to begin lifting her hips until her back met Kenshi’s chest. He threaded his arms under her knees then latched onto her shoulders, her thighs touching her chest. Leaning back a bit, he began thrusting up into her.
Adelaide’s eyes rolled back as she came around him. Having just begun, Kenshi was relentless in his attack, making her ride out her orgasm.
Ahead of them, Kenshi and Adelaide watched as Johnny sat against the couch with Kung Lao slobbering over his dick, saying the most raunchy things to rile him up further. He had an arch in his back as behind him, Raiden was delivering some pretty hard thrusts. Lao’s eyes only rolled back when Raiden called him a good boy for taking him so well. Of course, Johnny had broken out his second phone to record the act.
���Ken~ too much.” Adelaide whimpered as tears began to run down her cheeks.
“You can take it. Don’t you want to make the others feel good too?” He grit through his teeth.
“I’m gonna make a mess again.~” Adelaide struggled to take even breaths as it felt like Kenshi was punching it out of her.
“Fuck yeah. Gonna squirt all over me again, huh? I make you feel that good?”
“Yesss.” She squeaked as the squelching sound came back signaling another squirting orgasm.
At the same time, they heard Raiden giving Kung Lao his approval before he groaned, giving in to the overwhelming pleasure.
Good thing they have hard wood floors.
Kenshi thrust a couple more times before letting out a deep guttural moan himself, finishing inside of her.
Adelaide would’ve thought it was all over until she was lifted off Kenshi and turned around to face him. It was Johnny who had manhandled her back onto Kenshi’s dick.
“Shit, Johnny.” Kenshi put an arm over his eyes in slight overstimulation.
“Suck it up, baby. Once Raiden and I get ours, we can get back to our regularly scheduled programming.”
Adelaide gripped Kenshi’s shoulder in anticipation. Johnny had a firm hand in between her shoulder blades to keep her down, chest-to-chest with Kenshi.
“Hold her for me, why don’t you?” Johnny requested as he tapped his own dick on Adelaide’s ass. Kenshi wrapped his arms around her as Johnny lined himself up with her entrance. Immediately, Adelaide’s eyes went wide.
“Johnny, it’s not going to fit!”
*WHACK*
A red handprint began to form on her right ass cheek.
“I’m sorry what was that? I don’t know who this ‘Johnny’ fellow is.”
“S-sir,” she began with a whimper, “I—“ but the words died in her throat.
“That’s what I thought.” Slowly, he began to push in. Adelaide could only whine in Kenshi’s ear at being stretched open even more. But with her being so wet, it was no issue, Jonny’s fit snuggly inside her alongside Kenshi.
“Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?”
His answer came from Adelaide rocking her hips.
“Atta girl.” He growled, beginning to thrust to meet her. Kenshi shoved his face into Adelaide’s neck to silence his ragged breaths at the tight fit. Not only was Adelaide squeezing them hard, but he had the added friction of Johnny too.
Well, that was until Raiden appeared in his vision.
“You didn’t think you were getting away free, did you?” Raiden didn’t even give him time to answer, unhinging his jaw and sliding his cock down Kenshi’s throat. For better leverage to meet Johnny’s thrust, Adelaide propped herself up some. Now eye-level with Raiden’s hips, she plastered messy kisses around his v-line.
Raiden, although appreciative of the gesture, gripped her hair and turned her face towards another waiting cock: Kung Lao.
Salty from his previous orgasm, Adelaide took him down to the hilt. Lao, still sensitive, whined at how sloppy she was being, but made no effort to remove her. Rather, with a hand on the back of her head, he kept her really close to the base of his dick, pulling her back occasionally for air.
Meanwhile, Kenshi found his rhythm again. So as Johnny thrusted forward, he pulled back. And when Johnny pulled back, he thrusted forward. Adelaide nearly choked on Lao as the pattern gave her no time to recuperate. Over and over again, they hit a part inside her that made her head spin.
“Oh, you feel that Ken,” Johnny said between thrusts knowing he’d get no response seeing as his mouth was busy. “I think she’s gonna cum again. That’s a new record, no?”
“Fuck, you talk too much.” Raiden groaned before pulling Johnny in for a kiss.
“Oh sh—,” Lao was the first to go when Adelaide cupped his balls. He pushed her head until her nose was touching his happy trail making her take every last drop. He’d just have to hope that Johnny or Raiden didn’t notice he didn’t ask first.
It didn’t really matter all that much as Raiden stilled next. Breaking his kiss with Johnny, he began cursing, some English, some Chinese, as Kenshi’s throat also milked him unexpectedly, As he pulled out, there was an obscene amount of spit.
Once she was relinquished from Lao’s grasp, Adelaide tried to pull away, knowing that her next orgasm would be catastrophic. Johnny pulled her flush against his chest. One of his hands found purchase around her neck. The other reached down to encourage her orgasm by rubbing circles on her clit. “Take it like a good girl. No running.”
Now with his hands and mouth free, Kenshi sat up, immediately attaching his mouth to her nipple while his hands roamed her body. They still maintained their thrust pattern.
Adelaide was officially fucked out. There were no thoughts behind her eyes as she barreled toward her orgasm. She tried to formulate the words to announce it, but nothing but babbles came out. Johnny hummed in response. He was pressed against her ear and began whispering the raunchiest things in order to finally push her over the edge.
“Go ahead and cum, baby. Give us every last drop. Fucking hell,” Adelaide was gone. Her orgasm rocking through her entire body while she leaked around both Kenshi and Johnny. Kenshi followed behind, gripping her hips so hard he left crescent-shaped nail marks. All he could do was groan into her chest as the waves kept coming. Johnny kept thrusting and whispering as he arrived to his own orgasm, helping everyone ride it out.
“That’s right. Fuck you’re so good.” Johnny slowed his thrusts to a stop to catch his breath.
When Johnny released Adelaide from his constricted grip, she fell forward onto Kenshi who all but gladly fell back onto the couch. Johnny moved in silence, removing himself from behind Adelaide. As Kenshi began to soften, he pulled out as well. Johnny couldn’t help himself from taking a photo for later. Her thighs were wet from her own orgasms while a stream of cum began flowing from her entrance.
“I’ll grab towels.” Raiden had put his shorts back on before walking to the linen closet.
Johnny only nodded before collecting Adelaide from Kenshi. He laid her on top of him instead, rubbing her back and running his fingers through her hair as she made her way back to consciousness. He planted kisses on her forehead and whispered how good she was.
Kenshi was in a better state, only briefly being overstimulated. He rolled over to check on Adelaide, placing a hand on her lower back.
“You okay?”
“‘M more than okay.” She said contentedly.
“Stay still.” Raiden’s voice came from behind. Adelaide hissed a bit when she felt the wet cloth between her legs, but relaxed at the warm temperature. When he finished, he kissed her back.
“Sore?” Kung Lao returned also with some spare clothes.
“Feels nice.” She whispered. Raiden had been kind enough to clean Johnny and Kenshi as well before Kung Lao threw them the extra clothes.
“No pants.” Adelaide declared.
“Of course.” Kung Lao smiled as he helped her shimmy on one of his shirts. He then took the dirty pile and lowkey used one of Johnny’s shirts to clean up the mess they made of the wood floors.
“We still have some food left.” Johnny said.
“Please and thank you.” Kung Lao, after dropping the clothes in the hamper, was already on his way to the kitchen.
“Oh, now he knows his manners.” Raiden rolled his eyes, but followed him.
“You stay here and we’ll bring you what you want.” Johnny adjusted the sweatpants he was given.
“Any requests?” Kenshi peaked his head from the refrigerator.
“Orange chicken.” Feeling more like her normal self, Adelaide stretched, but made no move to stand.
In a few moments, they all returned to the couch with their food.
“Any suggestions seeing as the last movie watched us?” Raiden was now in control of the remote.
“Put on ‘The Lion King’, we’ll feel less inclined to temptation.” Adelaide smiled as she leaned against Lao with her feet in Kenshi’s lap.
“We watched that like 5 ti—“ Johnny tried to interrupt from his position between Raiden’s legs.
“NANTS INGONYAMA—“
24 notes · View notes
jennsterjay · 1 year ago
Text
Lmao so today I was waiting to get picked up from somewhere while I was talking to my friends @bootleg-exe, @king-of-the-rain-and-wolves, and @weirdfishy, and while I was waiting I had a brilliant idea. What if I wrote a Punkflower fic with a prompt from now until the time I got picked up? So I asked them for a word/prompt and Fen said "A Breakfast AU"
Ohoho a Breakfast AU you say? So with my phone notes app, a challenge, time on the clock, and a dream, I finally finished it 😎
Get ready for the unedited, no beta we die like men, writing sprint, crackfic 😂
Punkflower Breakfast AU
----
It was 10 am when Miles was sitting in the booth of McDonald's, waiting nervously for the boy he had a crush on.
Last night, when the two of them had just finished a mission together, and Hobie had walked him home to his dimension, Miles thought about confessing but he didn't have the guts. When he turned to Hobie and started saying something, and Hobie asked him what he wanted to say with an open and sincere look in his eyes, Miles tounge caught on his own words.
"Hobie I…"
Cmon think of something!!
"I …was wondering if you wanted to get breakfast tomorrow?" Miles said with a slight crack in his voice. Did he just ask him on a date???
Hobie perked up and smiled widely at him, like he'd just given him the keys to New York, and Miles couldn't believe that his failed confession somehow finessed him into a date. Ay dios mio.
"I would love to, Miles…so where are we grabbing a bite at?" Hobie walked closer to lean down and ask
And Miles wanted to turn invisible following the next words out of his mouth when he said
"Uhh…McDonald's?"
Hobie had a barely contained full grin on his face and Miles swore he was going to bust out laughing, but then he gently cupped his face in his hands and winked at him, as a portal opened up behind Hobie
"That sounds perfect, love. I'll see you tomorrow for brekkie. Text me tomorrow what time you want to eat together"
And Hobie let him go to walk back towards the portal like the coolest guy on the planet, before the portal closed and disappeared, leaving Miles with a dumbfounded look on his face and his heart running 100 miles moraleses a minute
What just happened?
And now here Miles was, a few blocks away from his house, sitting in the booth of a local McDonald's wondering if his Spiderman luck or teenage crush cringe somehow canceled themselves out into a W It was then that the door on the far side of the McDonald's opened, and Miles eyes found Hobie's from across the room. Suddenly Miles thought this was the best idea he's ever had. Ganke owes him 5 dollars.
"Miles! My guy!!!" Hobie says as everyone in the McDonald's stares at him as he walks across the room to lift Miles up effortlessly in the air and smile at him
"H-Hobie!!!" Miles half shrieks and half laughs as he looks briefly around at the New Yorkers looking at him and not looking at him (because it's too early in the morning for this) and then looks into Hobie's eyes. Hobie looks at him like he's a starving man and Miles is the McDonald's happy meal he's been waiting for all this time. Also Hobie is highlighter pink now.
Hobie puts him down and leads him to the front of the restaurant where the menu is
"Aight love, let's get some grub yeah?" Hobie says as he stands behind him and wraps his arms around Miles shoulders. Miles face is turning red and Miles hopes the people in line behind them aren't getting a seizure with how fast Hobie is cycling between different shades of pink every millisecond.
The twink in front of the register is eyeing the pair up and down with little to no amusement before snapping them out of their thoughts
"Welcome to McDonald's, what would you like to order?" He says
"Uhh we may need a sec" Miles smiles sheepishly
"Ok take your time" He says, clearly wanting them to not take their time Miles and Hobie eye the menu while Miles points and explains the options and Hobie's face is leaning on his while his arms are wrapped around him the whole time and Miles is going to have a heart attack. The two then have a mini argument over capitalism and the price of the 2 for 1 deal and the absence of the McRib before the New Yorker behind them says CMON and then the two walk forward and order a large bag of assorted McGriddles, Breakfast sausage biscuits, Ham and Cheese biscuits, Egg ham and cheese biscuits, two orange juices, and two hash browns. Greasy high calorie, high trans fat perfection
The pair then slide back into the booth and chow down on their shared feast. One sausage biscuit looks like a mini in Hobies large hands. Miles is eating one sandwich biscuit and Hobie is double fisting eating two of them. Miles wonders how Hobie is eating in Earth-138…he might as well give him the remaining batch after this
"Ayy you know what, while I don't agree with the ridiculous coin you had to shell out, this is bloody good!" Hobie says
"Hahah yeah, totally planned all this out by the way" Miles said and totally didn't mean to say. Cringe???
Hobie laughed and drank his orange juice, before eyeing Miles with a smirk. He placed his food and drink down, waiting for Miles to finish his bite as well.
Miles looked into his eyes and Hobie just smiled at him for a moment. He looked so inexplicably happy. Miles smiled easily too, and for a moment all nerves, crackwriting, and cringe aside, Miles and Hobie shared a moment of comfortable silence and happiness.
Hobie then reached for Miles' hands slowly and then held them in his across the table. Miles thought his hands were warm.
"Did you know…" Hobie said as he slowly ran his thumbs over Miles' Knuckles
"Yeah?…" Miles said as he gently squeezed the hands of the 1970's Spider-Anarchist named Hobart Brown
"That I think…" Hobie continued as he captured Miles' eyes in his "Yeah?…" Miles said, his face an open book
"You're…" Hobie stretched on for effect
"Yeah?…" Miles' heart was doing the elliptical
"…" Hobie winked at him
"I think you're pretty damn cute, Brooklyn Boy"
If Miles could replay this scene, he would've done it 50 times. Score 1 for Miles Gonzalo Morales. 50000 exp bonus.
Miles let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in, and smiled and giggled like a schoolgirl, oh my god he just giggled like a schoolgirl.
[And then the author was picked up, end of crackfic]
52 notes · View notes
rosalind-hawkins · 9 months ago
Text
TLDR: Duke is smart boi, Mastershipping good.
Been thinking about Duke's arc in the anime, and here's the thing.
He was "in talks" with Pegasus about DDM, but it wasn't greenlit yet, yeah? It didn't get finalized and Pegasus just stops responding to his emails, hence the whole going-after-Yugi thing blah blah blah.
(Side-note about how clever and diabolical Duke is to go after Yugi via his good friend Joey; damn Duke, you make a good antagonist, I'd love and fear the version of you that goes full villain.)
But despite Duke not having the green light or official production yet, he's still got the DDM dice; probably a sample batch from manufacturers, okay, I can believe that they made a 100-bag batch or something as an early order. But he ALSO has a duel arena fitted out to be adapted for DDM specifically, and this can only exist a couple of ways.
Industrial Illusions commissioned the custom DDM arena from KC as an early model and it was delivered to Duke. (I think this is unlikely since, again, no final say from Pegasus yet.)
Duke bought a Duel Arena from KaibaCorp, studied it, took it apart, and made his own adjustments to convert it into a DDM arena, which means studying Kaiba's tech, redesigning portions of it, reprogramming some of the software, creating schematics and custom parts and reassembling everything for the final version.
Option 2, but Duke paid someone to do it. (This is unlikely to me because of how deeply personal this game is to him and how deeply involved he is.)
Option 2 is much more likely to me, and this is why in my Rock Bottom AU, I have Duke set up as a technical hardware genius. (In that AU specifically, Duke handles hardware and Seto handles software, and they're the perfect nerd team.) I do think he is a genius on some level. He's not on Kaiba's level, but I think he's highly intelligent and doesn't generally get enough credit for it.
What probably happens later on, after Pegasus gives the green light, is that Industrial Illusions formally contracts KC to design and produce DDM arenas, and maybe Duke tries to insist that he already did the design part, but KC won't produce a design that's not theirs, so they make their own.
I imagine that when Duke and Kaiba get together later, Kaiba just casually mentions that he knows about Duke's original bootlegged DDM arena, and Duke is like, "Yeah, I'm aware that I voided the warranty, and no, I'm not going to apologize for it." And Kaiba's intellectual curiosity gets the better of him, so he's just like, "Even though I know the official KC version of the DDM arena is superior, I wanted to know how you made the original adjustments," and then Duke gets to show off his own handiwork on his bf's tech, and Kaiba has someone that's not an employee that he can talk to about the intricacies of his inventions for maybe the first time ever? And it makes him happy in a way that he doesn't understand, but these inventor boys have each other to talk to now about this stuff, and it's so fulfilling for them.
When Duke eventually moves in with Kaiba, he gets his own workshop/office for all the creative and technical work he does for DDM, and Kaiba makes a point of stopping by every once in a while to see what he's working on and "no, I don't need your advice, I can do it myself" only needs to be said to him a few times in order for him to learn to withhold his opinions until Duke asks for them.
In the context of Mumbleshipping, I imagine that any time Duke or Kaiba talk about their inventions in any detailed way to Ryou, his eyes glaze over pretty fast, and bless him he's trying, but he doesn't have a brain for engineering or hard sciences, so this all goes in one ear and out the other.
8 notes · View notes
lcatala · 11 months ago
Text
The Decline of Exhilaration: was meant to be a melancholic review of The Boy and The Heron, devolved into a rambling essay about the negative forces afflicting the world of traditional animation
Content warning: this text contains a negative review of Hayao Miyazaki's movie The Boy and the Heron, as well as an even more negative one of his previous movie The Wind Rises. I am aware that I'm in the minority on this one, and this isn't meant to dissuade anyone from watching either film. It is more about clarifying my own thoughts and feelings on why recent Miyazaki movies have not worked as well for me. This will be largely spoiler-free.
Tastes are diverse and subjective — work with me here; yes tastes most often come in normal distribution and are strongly correlated within specific demographics — doesn't matter, even if everyone in the world thought that blue eyes were the most beautiful, "blue eyes are the most beautiful" would still be a subjective statement — that is, "being the most beautiful" is not a property of blue eyes, it's property of how people feel when they look at blue eyes.
Tastes are diverse and subjective, and for some people, Miyazaki doesn't work.
I'm not one of them some people tho. I have been a fan of Miyazaki before I even knew Miyazaki was a person — no, really, I remember seeing bits of Future Boy Conan on tv when I was like 5, and being absolutely fascinated, even if it would be years until I properly discovered Miyazaki, and a few more years still until I realised that Future Boy Conan was from him. A few years after that first incident, I remember catching bits of a documentary showing excerpts of various animated films which at the time were mostly unknown in the west, and My Neighbor Totoro was in the lot — I was again captivated, but unaware of the name of Miyazaki, or even of the title of that movie, at the time — I was too young, not paying much attention to what was written on the screen, just looking at the pretty moving pictures.
I remember starting to becoming aware of Miyazaki as an entity at a time where the only movie of his that was avalaible in France was Porco Rosso. A bit later, My Neighbor Totoro was on tv, and after seeing it, I bought it on VHS — not from a regular store; it was sold in one those "collect them all" magazines, in this case each issue of the magazine had a different animated movie on VHS — I remember being very secretive about that purchase, I was in my first year of high school and didn't want anyone to know that I was watching movies "for little girls".
I remember getting someone on the internet (back when the internet was young and death was but a dream) to send me a burned cd-rom with a low-res bootleg copy of Vision of Escaflowne: the Movie fan-subbed in English (in which I was not yet fluent), by physical mail (downloading movies at the time was not a thing — connections were too slow) — and because there was still some room on the cd (you can imagine the quality of the encoding…), I requested that they add a copy of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind as well — it was the only way to see these movies at the time.
A bit later still, I remember dragging my father and sister to the theater to see Princess Mononoke, back when Miyazaki was not yet an established name in the west, and basically winning them over — one of the very rare times I managed to share something I loved with members of my family (or with anyone really), after which we often went to the theater to see both Miyazaki's new releases and his older movies finally getting to the big screen in the west. Each time was a great moment of joy, among the rare memories of my teenage years that I recall fondly.
I am not saying any of this to gate-keep — if you discovered Miyazaki in 2008 with Ponyo and call yourself a big fan, you're legit. I wouldn't even call myself the biggest Miyazaki fan outthere, but still, Miyazaki has been a very important figure in my life, and even if over time I have cooled down a bit on some of his earlier movies, Princess Mononoke and My Neighbor Totoro remain among my top favorite movies of all times (not just animated, movies period), and the manga version of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is still one of most amazing and powerful fantasy series I have ever read.
Things started to shift around Howl's Moving Castle and Ponyo. I still eagerly went to see them in theater, I still enjoyed them a lot, but the spark wasn't quite there anymore, I didn't leave the theater with the same feeling of intense joy, with the same renewed love for life that I felt everytime I rewatched the older ones, and I never felt a strong urge to rewatch those new ones later on.
I didn't really notice that feeling at the time; it was a gradual shift, and was happening while my movie tastes were also rapidly changing. But the result was that when The Wind Rises came out in theaters in 2013, I found no desire to see it, and so I didn't. I told myself I would watch it later, on dvd or some such.
And so I ended up watching it… in 2022, 9 years after its release. Not a long time in itself, but when you considered the lengths I had gone to in the past to watch every Miyazaki movie as soon as possible… Still, I was optimistic; the movie had really good reviews, and in my head Miyazaki's name was still synonymous with "he never misses, the absolute legend!" (even tho I had already had a disappointing experience rewatching Castle in the Sky back to back after The King and the Mockingbird [remember that title for later], a comparison where the former pales a little — but at the time I had dismissed that experience as a fluke).
---
So I watched The Wind Rises… and didn't like it.
The problem wasn't the subject matter — I know that some have criticized the movie for its rather idealistic portrayal of Jiro Horikoshi, the designer of the Zero fighter planes, but for me this was just another movie in a tradition of Japanese cinema that, while condemning Japan's involvement in World War II, places the blame solely on the army's high command, absolving Japanese civilians, and sometimes even ordinary Japanese soldiers from any wrongdoing, and mostly emphasizes the suffering the war brought on Japanese people first and foremost, not so much denying as simply not adressing Japanese war crimes and the general hardship the war brought to other people.
In this respect the wind Rises is not different from The Burmese Harp (1956) or Dr. Akagi (1998); even movies like Grave of the Fireflies (1988) or Black Rain (1989), which are unambiguously anti-war and pretty critical of how Japanese society behaved during or right after World War II, still focus specifically on Japanese suffering — it's not an unproblematic narrative, but it's one I know my way around; an unfortunate but common blind spot of how Japanese people often see their own history, which you just have to expect if you're going to watch Japanese movies set during or in the aftermath of WWII (you can of course chose to skip those movies).
No, the problem with The Wind Rises is that I just found it boring. It felt like a meandering story that never really went anywhere, with characters that never felt more than surface-level, empty puppets existing only for the duration of the movie. This was compounded by an animation style that somehow felt both rigid and wobbly, coming very close to uncanny valley — it felt like Miyazaki didn't have a shred of empathy for the human characters in the movie and only cared about the planes, which were the only part that I enjoyed looking at.
I know how harsh this sounds, and how no one else seems to perceive the movie that way, but that's really what I felt: a huge, depressing disappointment — especially because I was apparently the only person who didn't like the film, adding a weird sense of alienation on top of it (to a degree — at this point I was already aware that my movie tastes had become quite weird).
A year passed, and The Boy and The Heron came out in theaters. I decided not to skip it, if only because it might well turn out to be Miyazaki's final film — I know he once again decided to postpone his retirement and start working on a new project, but Miyazaki is 82 and has not had the healthiest lifestyle, a whole 10 years have passed between The Wind Rises and The Boy and The Heron, and animation remains an extremely physically and mentally demanding job, so I have some serious doubts about whether we will really get another Miyazaki movie before his passing. The production of The Boy and the Heron was a lot more relaxed, Miyazaki setting no deadline and letting the animators work normal hours, declaring that the movie would be complete whenever it would be — a healthier approach for sure, but at the cost of more time, which Miyazaki doesn't have a lot of left.
---
So I went to see The Boy and The Heron, with pretty low expectations — not wanting to hate it, but severely tempering my expectations so as not to be too badly disappointed again.
The beginning was rather positive. The animation didn't have that uncanny quality that I had found in The Wind Rises, and there were even some interesting experimentations in stylicisation and visual metaphor, some stuff I hadn't seen before in a Miyazaki movie. As the movie settled into its story, I rather enjoyed the first half of it. I liked the slow burn mystery vibes, the cozy, detailed environments. I liked the portrayal of the main character as a boy trying very hard to hide his strong emotions and his grief, trying to appear calm, strong and well-behaved to others, while often acting impulsively and eratically when the his emotions crack thru the surface.
Even when the story shifted from magical realism into full on otherworldly fantasy, I was still on board, as the sense of mystery continued smoothly into the second part of the story. This wasn't amazing, this was a far cry from the extraordinary feelings that fill me when I watch Miyazaki's best stories, but it was fine, it worked.
Until it didn't.
I don't know exactly when the movie failed for me, but somewhere in the second half, the story lost its focus. It kept introducing more and more elements that had little relevance to the story, where never explored more than superficially, and felt like they were present solely because they were Classical Miyazaki Elements That Have To Be There In A Miyazaki Movie. This took the story from something that felt, if not wholly novel, at least somewhat different for Miyazaki, to a lesser, messier and less tight version of Spirited Away.
This kept going on for the last third/quarter of the movie, the story spinning in circles, the characters not making any progress — which highlighted the other flaws of the movie that I had so far overlooked: the characters who (outside of the protagonist) felt like lightly brushed caricatures with little substance; the inconsistency between characterisation and dialogue — several characters berate the protagonist for being "pretentious", even tho almost all he does is listen quietly, even to people disparaging him, and follow instructions given to him without protest.
At the end I was even noticing little flaws in the animation. The animation is good, but it's not great, or at least not as great as some previous Ghibli films — all the more baffling since The Boy and The Heron is reportedly the most expensive movie ever produced in Japan, and yet looked nowhere near as good as say, Makoto Shinkai's Suzume.
In a way, the last act of the movie felt — if you know of a less problematic way to put this, let me know — like an old person's ramblings: stories that don't go anywhere, full of tangential, unnecessary details that make no sense without a missing larger context. That made the whole thing crumble for me; these last thirty minutes, while they didn't outright make me hate the movie, pretty much destroyed what enjoyment of it I was having.
It's not that nothing happens anymore in the story, but it all feels ungrounded, floating, disconnected — emotionally disconnected that is, actions unfolding in front of my eyes yet without any tangible reality to them, as if the boundaries of fiction within which pattern recognition is enabled have broken, and I'm now just looking at… shapes.
I couldn't help but think of what a tragic contrast this was with My Neighbor Totoro, the best example of a movie where almost nothing is happening, and yet where your attention is being held the entire time, because of how perfect in its timing and details the storytelling is, because of how empathetically connected we are to the characters thru the extraordinarily accurate and yet amazingly simple exploration of their emotions and humanity. When I'm watching Totoro, I'm watching a human life, I'm watching the work of someone with profound understanding of human emotions. There was seemingly little left of that understanding in The Boy and the Heron.
And paradoxically, when the ending finally arrived, it felt sudden and abrupt — for a second I was certain there was going to be a continuation shot or something, but no, end credits. That's it then, huh? That's all that's left of Miyazaki's talent and storytelling skills.
Even the music turned out to be a disappointment, retrospectively — it didn't bother me during the movie, but once it was over, I could not remember a single melody, a single musical moment from it. I know there was music, I remember noticing some piano, but that's it, the music was otherwise just kinda there, and even as I was leaving the theater, all I could conjure up was instead the soundtrack from, again, My Neighbor Totoro.
---
I can easily rationalize this decline, find many material reasons for why it might have happened. It could be that the a large part of the Ghibli staff is now old — or dead; people aren't at the peak of their art anymore. Relatedly, a lot of the people who could say "no" to Miyazaki, or even more modestly give him advice he would actually listen to are no longer there. Still related is the apparent absence of a new talented generation at Ghibli — not thru any fault of their own, but rather because, between the shadow of Miyazaki looming over every Ghibli project, leaving little breathing room for other creators, and the apparent difficulty for the older generation to communicate and transmit their institutional knowledge, it seems that Ghibli has always been Miyazaki and Takahata's very personal medium, and not really a place for other creators to learn and thrive, and as the result the whole enterprise cannot but decline into old age and creep toward death along with its creators.
And yet, everyone else's reaction to the movie tells me that I am wrong. Reviews have been overwhemingly positive, and the movie has been doing numbers in theaters despite an intentional almost complete absence of promotion (at least initially). Why am I seemingly the only person for who this doesn't work anymore?
(Well, not quite the only one; I've definitely seen a few confused reactions among Miyazaki enjoyers, not least among them youtube essayist and Miyazaki expert STEVEM, whose opinion does seem to line up with mine.)
Is it that everyone else is too emotionally invested into Miyazaki's work, which has nurtured them since childhood, one of those rare pure and authentic things in our world, to admit to themselves that his movies do not work as well as they used to? That seems deeply unlikely — if only because of how self-flattering that explanation would be — implying that I alone am able to see past the nostalgia filter because I am so very smart, which, come on.
Is it that my tastes have radically changed? My tastes have radically changed, but I still consider Princess Mononoke and My Neighbor Totoro among the best movies ever made. There's a lot of movies I used to like as a kid/teenager/young adult that I am now completely indifferent to, but Miyazaki's early films are definitely not in that category.
Is it that I got wise to Miyazaki's tricks and no longer get the joy of discovery and surprise? But I had no idea where this movie was going for a good while, and knowing Princess Mononoke by heart doesn't prevent me from still enjoying it.
Is it that I am missing some context, some specifics of Japanese culture and beliefs that would help me make sense of the themes and plot of that movie? But I feel like I have developed a good "intuitive" understanding of Japanese culture; when I watch a Japanese movie, I don't understand everything I see, I don't know what every little detail mean, but I have a sense of how they fit together, I'm not surprised or confused by what I see, it doesn't feel out of place. I'm perfectly fine with Spirited Away and its many never-explained weird details, that doesn't impact my enjoyment.
Every explanation I come up with for the gap between my perception of Miyazaki's last two movies and that of the general public and critics fails short. I am really at a loss for a satisfying theory.
It seems that I have, then, to operate on the logic of alternate realities, having found myself (almost) alone in a reality where it is a fact that Miyazaki's directing abilities and the skills of the people who surround him have dramatically declined, (almost) everyone else living in a different reality where it is equally factual that Miyazaki is still at the top of his art and Ghibli is still the best animation studio in the world.
Here is my attempt to communicate what it's like to live in my reality, then:
More than any other form of creative endeavour, art or craft, the world of 2D animated movies appears to be cursed.
[note: I have an extremely materialistic, naturalistic and nihilistic view of reality, so I actually despise appeals to mysticism and magic as explanatory devices — even using them as metaphors displeases me, but by the point I noticed this is what I was doing here, the writing of this essay was too advanced, and taking the curse metaphor out would have required rewriting it entirely from the ground up, when I have already been working for weeks on it and I'm tired and it's not worth it, no one is going to read this anyway.]
---
Walt Disney started by making cartoon shorts (this will become relevant to Ghibli again at some point) for various companies, often struggling financially. In the late 20s, he was working for producer Charles Mintz at Universal Studio. Disney had ambition, he wanted to do more with the medium, and tried to negotiate with Mintz for higher budgets.
Instead, Mintz told him he was going to pay him less, and that Disney could do nothing about it because Mintz owned the rights to the characters Disney had created with his friend and collaborator Ub Iwerks. Mintz had also hired all of Disney's animators to work directly for him behind Disney's back. Mintz thought he had Disney cornered. Disney told him to get lost, and he quit, him and Iwerks founding a new studio in 1928 and creating the new character of Mickey Mouse as replacement for their lost IPs.
Under Disney's supervision, animators pushed the medium of cartoons to new technical ground, until the logical next step was to make a full feature length movie, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) — many thought this was an absurd idea and that the movie would flop badly. It was instead a huge success, but this would turn out to be the exception.
Many subsequent Disney films performed much more lukewarmly, while getting more expensive to make. There were enough successes to allow the Disney company to thrive for a while and establish itself as synonymous with quality animation. But with the advent of television, things started to get shaky — even Disney had to cut costs, simplify the animation and design, reuse old animations, with only middling returns at the box office. At some point Walt was outright told by his brother Roy that he should just shut down the studio completely and concentrate on the theme parks.
Things didn't really get better after Walt's death — if anything his spirit had strongly taken root in the company, and proceeded to fight back against attempts at modernization (sounds familiar?) A new generation of younger animators found themselves constantly opposed by the old guard; the making of each movie became a messy warzone where everyone was pulling in a different direction. Delays between movies got longer, productions got over budget while public reception continued to be milding.
Many prospective young talents (Don Bluth, Tim Burton, Brad Bird…) quit the company to try their luck elsewhere. When the production of Who Framed Roger Rabbit finally got off the ground after nearly a decade of development hell, Steven Spielberg, who had been brought in as executive producer, had so little faith in Disney that the entire production was instead given to Richard Williams' London-based animation studio, with post-production handled by ILM, Disney merely distributing the movie (not even under their Disney brand, using their Touchstone label instead). Disney really looked like it was about to die.
But the old guard died off first, and the young animators had a chance to prove temselves, leading to the Disney Renaissance, a decade of box office and critical hits, once again pushing back the limits of animation.
Then things got rocky again. They started experimenting with 3D animated films, while the 2D ones rapidly became less profitable, and finally, in 2011, Disney abandonned 2D animated films, seemingly forever. Now Disney is a juggernaut, they own Pixar, Lucasfilm and Marvel, they produce completely devoid-of-personality, factory-churned, designed-by-comittee but highly profitable movies, and the curse of 2D animation is behind them. They survived, and it only cost them all of their talent and institutional knowledge.
Nonetheless, having pushed the limits of the medium for many decades, Disney inspired many others to try to follow in their footsteps. A lot of people suffered as a result.
---
Don Bluth joined Disney in 1971, a few years after Walt's death, working first as animator, then as animation director. He was part of that new generation of animators who tried to make Disney evolve toward a more mature approach of their stories, conflicting with older animators who wanted to keep things whimsical. This escalated until in 1979, during the production of The Fox and The Hound, Don Bluth resigned along with 11 other animators, and created his own animation studio.
Their first movie was The Secret of NIMH (1982), an amazing work of art that used many advanced animation techniques and required the work of 160 animators. It was a critical success… but had mediocre box office returns, forcing the studio to fill for bankrupcy.
Undeterred, Don Bluth went looking for other sources to finance his next projects, and found Steven Spielberg (it's 80s Hollywood, Spielberg is never really far), with who he produced An American Tail (1986) and The Land Before Time (1988). Both were huge success — An American Tail was the only Don Bluth film to beat Disney's competing movie (The Great Mouse Detective). This led Spielberg to form the new animation studio Amblimation, which produced 3 animated movies before getting folded into DreamWorks Animation, which itself alternated 2D and 3D animated films before entirely giving up on 2D animation after 2003, escaping the curse almost a decade before Disney.
Don Bluth however wasn't a fan of the collaboration and of the family-friendly edits Spielberg kept demanding to give the movies a wider appeal — as much as 10 minutes of footage were cut from The Land Before Time. He parted ways on the belief that he could do better on his own.
Using their own earnings from An American Tail and The Land Before Time, Don Bluth and his two close collaborators Gary Goldman and John Pomeroy produced two more movies: All Dogs Go To Heaven (1989), despite strange tonal shifts (it was a very dark story with violent character deaths and visions of literal hellfire — you know, for kids — interspersed with silly, surreal, acid-colored musical numbers), was a success. Rock-a-Doodle (1991) wasn't.
The early 90s were tough for Don Bluth: Rock-a-Doodle bombed so badly that, in order to avoid another brankrupcy, he had to sell the rights of all of his previous films — leading to the many direct-to-video low quality sequels that Don Bluth had no involvement with, while he struggled to finance his next movies, which all suffered from heavy executive-meddling and were critical and box office disappointments.
Then 20th Century Fox came to the rescue, signing Bluth a contract to produce animated movies for them, and staffing the newly created Fox Animation Studios with Don Bluth's own crew. Their condition was that the first movie had to be based on an existing property owned by Fox, leading to the creation of Anastasia (1997). The movie felt more like Disney than Don Bluth, but it was a huge success, the highest-grossing movie in all of Bluth's career. It gave him much more creative freedom for his next project, which was going to be something ambitious, something grand — finally Don Bluth was back!
And then Titan A.E. (2000) bombed so badly that it lead to the closure of Fox Animation and effectively ended Bluth's career, who never directed another movie after that.
Of course, he was still luckier than some.
---
Martin Rosen started his career as a literary agent then moved to become a movie producer. He eventually acquired the rights for an adaptation of Richard Adams's beloved childhood classic Watership Down, for which he also wrote the screenplay. Originally working only as producer, he took over as director after the original director left due to creative disagreements. It turned out to be a good move: the film, released in 1978, was a commercial and critical success, and went on to traumatize generations of British children.
Strong from this success, Rosen went on to adapt another book by Richard Adams: The Plague Dogs. The production was ambitious, bringing in several former Disney animators, included an up-and-coming Brad Bird and veteran Retta Scott. Unfortunately, the movie, after struggling to find distributors, flopped at the box office in 1982, a large part of the audience being turned off by the bleak story and graphic violence. Martin Rosen never directed another movie after this.
Of course, he was still luckier than some.
---
Paul Grimault, who had started making animated shorts in France in the 1930s, had a dream: creating a big animation studio that would be the French answer to Disney, and would produce feature-length animated films on a regular basis. He found financing, hired animators, and in collaboration with French poet and screenwriter Jacques Prévert, started working in 1947 on a first project: an adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen's The Shepherdess And The Chimney-Sweep, in what was going to be the first feature-length animated film produced in France.
However, in spite of a crew of over a hundred people working on the movie, production ended up taking 5 years, with costs escalating to (adjusted for currency and inflation) 40 million dollars — a colossal budget in France just after WWII (of the 19 animated movies Walt Disney personally produced, only 3 had a higher budget than that). Paul Grimault was blamed for his perfectionism and was removed from the project, which was then hastily completed and released in 1953, in a version that Grimault and Prévert disowned, while the studio had to declare bankrupcy and close down.
While the movie had disappointing results, after a few years it found its way to an arthouse theater in Japan, where it was seen by two university students: Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata, who at the time were not even considering animation as a career. They were so transfixed by what they saw that they went to find the projectionist and convinced him to lend them the reel for one night, which they spent studying how the animation was made. This was one of several key films that convinced them to change their career and go into animation.
Meanwhile, back in France, Paul Grimault refused to let that story end there. In 1976, he bought back the rights of The Shepherdess And The Chimney-Sweep along with the original reels, and assembled a small team of young animators who worked to finally complete his vision of the movie, while making a number of additions, such as a new soundtrack composed by Wojciech Kilar. This version released in 1980 as The king and the Mockingbird, to high critical acclaim. Miyazaki and Takahata praised the new version, and Ghibli, as part of their Ghibli Museum Library, organized a theatrical release of the movie in Japan in 2006, followed by a dvd in 2007.
Paul Grimault was vindicated — but in the end, he only ever got to direct one feature-length animated film, when he dreamed of a career like that of Walt Disney.
Of course, he was still luckier than some.
---
Richard Williams was already working as an animator in the mid 50s, but his career consisted in directing tv commecials and short films (including an Academy Award winning adaptation of A Christmas Carol in 1971), with only one full length feature film, Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure (1977).
But he had a dream, a project he had been slowly developing since 1964: The Thief and the Cobbler. Williams accepted to work on Who Framed Roger Rabbit for Disney and Spielberg mainly because they offered to finance his ongoing project to completion. After Roger Rabbit, Williams got a production deal with Warner Bros, and things looked good. But because of Williams's extreme perfectionism, things went slow, and eventually, in 1992, even tho the movie was almost complete, the production was taken away from Williams, and the movie was rushed into completion to be released ahead of Disney's Aladdin, under the name Arabian Knights, to generally bad reviews.
Williams didn't give up, he continued working on short films and tried to regain the rights to The Thief and the Cobbler to work off and on it, trying to finally bring his vision to completion.
Unfortunately, he died in 2019, and what should have been the work of his life was never completed. All that exists is a bootleg, incomplete cut put together by fans — they meant well and did their best, but the result is clearly not the finished movie Williams had in mind.
Of course, he was still luckier than some.
---
Yuri Norstein started working as an animator in the Soviet Union in the 1960s, for the studio Soyuzmultfilm. After participating in more than fifty short films, he was finally given a chance to direct, for which he developed a highly elaborate, personal style of cutout animation, with which he made the short films Hedgehod in the Fog (1975) and Tales of Tales (1979), both highly acclaimed internationally (including by Miyazaki). He then started working on his masterpiece, a feature-length animated adaptation of Nikolai Gogol's short story The Overcoat.
But because of his perfectionism, work advanced slowly (sensing a theme there). Too slowly for the taste of his employers, and in 1985 he was fired from Soyuzmultfilm. He was however able to keep the rights of his unfinished movie, and kept working to it on his own. But between his perfectionism, the difficulties of finding fundings, and the fact that he mostly just works alone with his wife, work has been very slow… In fact, as of writing these lines in 2023, Norstein is still working on The Overcoat, at the age of 82 (the same age as Miyazaki!), having completed just a third of the planned movie. Altho he claims that he currently has reliable funding and is working full time on completing the movie, the hopes of ever seeing the full film are not high.
---
Of course, all these men still got to direct at least short films and have their art recognized while they were alive. They are still more lucky than the nameless, countless individuals who tried to study and work in animation only to get burned out, never even getting a chance to prove themelves and show their creativity, ground to fine dust by one of the most demanding and least rewarding artistic professions, where even success is just the delaying of faillure — unless you stop playing first.
If you even survive the grind and get a chance to direct at all, if you aren't sabotaged by producers or by your own perfectionism, if your studio survives bankrupcies and your own decline, if it's not poisoned by your own shadow after your death, it will be only to lose its identity and abandon all that originally made it praised and loved.
There's no winning in animation. This is the curse.
---
---
Notes:
Most of this was written from memory based on stuff I've read sometimes more than a decade ago, using Wikipedia to fact-check names, dates and chronology.
Some sources I do remember drawing from include: STEVEM's video-essays on animation in general and Miyazaki in particular Defunctland's video-essay on the production of Who Framed Roger Rabbit Atrocity Guide's video-essay on Yuri Norstein
18 notes · View notes
ind1exo · 4 months ago
Text
First Impressions of WH Characters (In My POV)
The reactions I had were based on their appearance, trailers, or their appearances in routes. Some of these may be goofy but just bare with me, thanks.
Elias - Link?! (From Legend of Zelda)
Yukiya - Ike?! (From Fire Emblem)
Luca - He doesn't look like any of the characters I recognize... He's just green and that's it.
Klaus - Like Santa claus?
Randy - He looks like a nice guy and also giving off zesty vibes.
Azusa - He's so pretty! Why is there so many "???" in his bio? welp
Joel - Wow a cute boy with different colored eyes!
Vincent - He looks... kind of old.
Leon - He looks strange and why is he white all over?
Cerim - Why tf did he put a knife on the MC's throat? I don't like him already.
Guy - Well he IS a guy...
Glenn - A samurai warrior looking guy is in a wizard game?
Leslie - Is that a girl? *Quickly realizes it's a boy* Oh, duh-
Sigurd - Never thought I'd see a purple haired boy with yellow eyes. Odd.
Mel - This guy has an attitude for someone younger than the MC-
Zeus - He seems like a pompous prick based off that CG of him cornering MC.
Klaus 2 - OMG KLAUS GOT A SEQUEL?! *Does the route immediately*
Hiro - Emo boy vibes.
Alfonse - He looks an AWFUL lot like Elias and Klaus. Suspicious.
Caesar - *Thinks of Julius Caesar... then of Caesar salad.* A character that turns into a pig is... Well, alright then.
Lucious - Femboy prince vibes over here!
Hugo - Isn't that an enemy? We get to date an enemy now?
Hisoka - I can tell he's not a human by his appearance. He reminds me of Sascha from BiR.
Rembrandt - Hold up we're dating the Headmaster now??? How is that supposed to work-
Nox - Didn't really care to know about him at first What is he wearing? Is he a prince or something?
Rex - Also didn't really care to know about him at first He was a night classer? Why does he kind of look good in that night class uniform though?
Gray - His name is a color? Alright... He probably went by something else originally. And I bet he's some bratty pretty boy prince based off that smug of his... not sure where I drew that conclusion
Ted - Ted like Teddy bear? Wow we're really dating more furries and animals...
Lars - He seems to really like the MC a LOT. I feel bad that his own brother hates him. Woah that dancing CG though!
Clive - Uhh why does he hate his brother so much? That one face is creepy af. I don't really like him ehh- aged REALLY badly
Florin - He seems okay but, I don't like his last name. I've had conflict with someone who's name was this guy's last name so... yeah
Albert - He's wearing clothes similar to Klaus... An Auburne?!
Light - He lowkey reminds me of Dark Pit (From Kid Icarus Uprising). And... very creative name.
Viggo - A random emo night classer I guess.
Vain - What in the world are these strange looking characters?
Felix - Ugh he looks so scary and emotionless-
Lacan - Phew, glad he's way more friendlier than Felix.
Liz Hart (Older design) - I expected her to appear Japanese... She looks cute but I don't. Like. The. Hair.
Liz Hart (Newer design) - Thank the Lords!! She looks SO much better now.
Amelia Nile - I like her vibe. I was worried about a potentially bad roommate before I even saw her.
Augustus - He seems like one of those athletic frat boys, I guess.
Scarlett - Finally a female lover! ...Only in the spin offs? Uh, alright? At least Amelia gets some action herself.
Randolph - *Automatically thinks of Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer for some reason*
Schuyler - He seems edgy and I have a bad feeling about him.
Merkulova - I can tell he's the nicest professor.
Carbuncle - Looks like a Pokémon.
Taffy - Like the Laffy Taffy candy?
Eress - Is she a bug?
Ronny - This squirrel has an attitude-
Chica - Her name is literally girl-
Mischa - She seems suspiciously neutral.
Hachi - I like him already with the occasional "woof woof" he does.
Chocolate Cake - Is that supposed to resemble Morgana..? That's bootleg Morgana.
Nidhogg - I don't like how he looks like an Oni, he's definitely not a friend at first. *Originally gave him Monokuma voice*
Shu - Aww, a cute dragon!
3 notes · View notes
kamirappa · 6 months ago
Text
Got a few neat items in the mail and thought I’d showcase what they are.
First up the two Sonic figures, a Funko Pop and a Nenderoid. I was able to find the Nenderoid for less than $100 on Mercari Japan, and thankfully it’s not a bootleg! Sonic’s spikes are nice and sharp, and the box uses circular stickers. Whereas fake ones have softer spikes and use regular scotch tape. The Funko Pop was one I’ve been meaning to grab, but I’ve been holding back until a hypothetical PaRappa Funko Pop would emerge, but that sadly has yet to happen (Guess Funko doesn’t like money). I know some people don’t like the Pop line of figures and their dead soulless eyes, I totally get it, some of them do look pretty bad (they did Buzz Lightyear dirty), but I think they have a certain charm to them.
Tumblr media
Next are these two Lammy & Rammy Medicom dolls, these have been on my want list for years, but for whatever reason I never got around to buying them… until now! I do have PaRappa, Sunny, and Lammy’s on stage variant so with these two, my Medicom doll set is finally complete with all 5 figures.
Above it is a Coca-Cola handbag, I have the hand towel on me, so I’m still on the lookout for any other PaRappa x Coca-Cola items if there are any left. One of my goals is that if the World of Coca-Cola isn’t carrying any PaRappa items in their upcoming pop culture gallery, I might try and get my hands on a second one of these for the purpose of donating to them (if they take donations that is).
And right below are three rotating figures of Sunny, Pinto and PJ. There is also Uee which I have seen but never bought sadly. And going off the box, I’m pretty sure there might also be a Boxy Boy since the other five characters are also there. With these I can actually demonstrate how they work, basically you connect the characters together and you spin the gear on one of them, and they all start rotating and hopping. Sort of reminds me of how that Simpsons couch Burger King set works.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Lastly, here’s another one I’ve always wanted, a Dunkin’ Donuts PaRappa mug. I actually won two at an auction and currently placing a bid on the third, but so far Katy is the one that’s arrived first. Sunny’s mug just shipped out and I’m waiting to win PJ’s mug. From what I’ve read, you won these mugs by redeeming a number of Dunkin’ Donuts points, and you would receive a mug for free. These actually came in boxes and unfortunately I do not have the box for any of the mugs. I just got them on their own. However I can’t complain since I got the mugs for dirt cheap, at least by PaRappa merch standards (about $13 each). If you’re wondering about PaRappa, he’s actually on the other side of all 3 mugs. I might actually try and find a second Katy mug for me to actually use because Katy’s is easily my favorite of the three, her mood sums up my mornings perfectly and I love it!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
autumnsup · 1 year ago
Text
So I've never confessed this to anyone, but when I was a teenager on the cusp of my twenties, I went through a phase of musical discovery that entailed "fixing" soundtracks which didn't contain all of the tracks that were actually in the movie. I was finally able to watch mostly whatever I wanted after a restrictive childhood, and felt dissatisfied with the soundtrack albums available to me. I thus decided to embark upon a quest to put together the REAL soundtracks to my favorite movies and TV series, for my own personal enjoyment.
Case in point: Velvet Goldmine. The OST is fantastic, to be clear, but there was obviously more going on in the background of the movie than what was on offer (possibly for budget/legal reasons). I verily went out and began to acquire more tracks, sometimes with dubious methods, and compiled a new playlist for myself that I titled, oh so creatively, "The Complete Velvet Goldmine."
Trouble was, there were still a couple tracks that were mostly impossible for me to obtain. There was the one Gary Glitter track that I found problematic because of the heinous acts of the singer (who recently got recalled to prison, thank gods), not to mention that it overlaid a part of Brian Slade's journey that made me cringe the most because boy, did it not age well. So I resigned myself to leaving it off.
Fast forward several years, and I finally - FINALLY - remembered that there is a perfectly decent cover version played by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, so I acquired that track too. This is probably as complete of a soundtrack experience as I'm going to have, short of getting my hands on the recording of Ewan McGregor singing "Gimme Danger." Which is not available to the public, right? RIGHT??
I like the original Iggy Pop version well enough, but folks, my cup would truly run over if there were a bootleg copy of the cover track floating around somewhere that I could download. Or, even more improbably, if Todd Haynes would deign to provide us with a new and improved soundtrack release. On vinyl or otherwise.
Not expecting that this will ever happen, but a fan can dream, can't they?
5 notes · View notes
bekoobove · 1 year ago
Text
Fazbear Fears #4: Lights Out
...Desperate to disprove a small town urban legend, Tim ends up face to face with it...
Tumblr media
The town sign declared itself Breaker’s Ridge, Utah, with a population of 4,000, but to Tim it was Nowheresville.
He drove down the quiet Main Street and groaned. He really hadn’t wanted to come here, but apparently his old friend had wanted to show him something. Why that thing was out here, he didn’t know, but he owed Kenny one.
Finally, Tim reached the address he’d been told to visit. He pulled his car over and stepped out.
Kenny, who had been pacing excitedly on the sidewalk, stopped and beckoned him over. Tim really didn’t need further guidance, though, as what Kenny wanted to show him was pretty obvious.
Behind him was a building that stood out among the drug stores and greasy diners. It looked brand new, its brick walls painted bright red. Large windows revealed flashing lights of every color from inside the building, and the sound of children laughing mingled with poppy, upbeat music.
On the roof, an enormous sign proclaimed: FREDDY’S PIZZA PARLOR.
Tim walked over and Kenny immediately wrapped him up in a hug.
“Personal space, Kenny.”
“Sorry.” Kenny responded, backing up. “I’m just really glad you’re here. It’s been a while.”
He gestured at the sign. “So...what do you think?”
“Is this place your’s?”
“Yep.” Kenny pointed at his shirt. Over his breast pocket there was a pin that identified him as Kenny McIntyre, Manager.
“Isn’t this exciting?” he said as they walked in. “I’ve always wanted to start my own business, and be my own boss.”
Tim looked around the restaurant. “Well, not your own boss, exactly.”
Kenny frowned. “What do you mean?”
Tim chuckled. “Come on, I can see what’s going on here.” He nodded at the main room which was filled with arcade machines, rowdy kids, and a stage with fancy, plasticky looking animatronics. “This is a Freddy Fazbear franchise, obviously. It even has that animatronic bear’s name!”
Kenny grimaced as they sat down at a table. “Um, no…the truth is that the Pizza Parlor is sort of a bootleg.”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “Wait, really? Aren’t you afraid of Fazbear Entertainment suing you?”
“They probably won't hear about it- it’s so far out in the sticks. Besides, they’re so busy trying to rebuild the brand and construct that Pizza-Mall or whatever it’s called east of here.”
“Eh, good point. They wouldn’t care what happens in this ghost town.”
“Well, no need to be mean.” Kenny said. “Sure, it’s small, but it’s still a really great community.”
Tim smirked. “Settle for this if you want, Ken. Me, I’ve got bigger and better places to be.”
A young boy ran up to Kenny. “Mr Kenny! Mr Kenny!”
Kenny smiled at the kid. “Hey, Roger, glad to see you back again. What’re you so excited about?”
Roger smiled back. “The Power Ghost snuck into my house last night! He stole our TV remote’s batteries. I saw him walking away into the field! I can’t wait to tell all the kids at school!”
Kenny gave a hesitant grin. “Uh, OK. I’m glad you’re excited, I guess?”
Roger ran off into the arcade area, already excitedly telling the tale again to another group of kids.
Tim stared at Kenny. “What was he going on about?”
Kenny shrugged. “Oh, that? Just a local urban legend.”
“An urban legend that steals batteries?”
“Well, yeah. The Power Ghost is apparently the spirit of a chubby little kid. He never hurts anyone, or even causes property damage. All he does is steal a physical power source once a night- usually a battery. I know it sounds crazy, but a lot of townspeople believe it.”
Tim cringed. He had figured these yokels wouldn’t be the cleverest folks, but he hadn’t imagined a story this ridiculous would be this widespread.
“What about you?” Tim inquired.
Kenny hesitated. “I wouldn’t...but I’ve seen it.”
“You have!?”
“Yeah. I’m not fully convinced, but enough people have seen it that I probably wasn’t just imagining things.”
“You really don’t think it’s some kind of fake?”
“I never said that, but it’d have to be a really good one. Roger isn’t the only one who claims to have seen it walk around.”
“What does it look like? Are the descriptions consistent?”
“Trying to solve the case, Detective Tim?” Kenny laughed.
“I’m not a detective. I’ve spent the last two years working in biochemistry, and if that’s taught me anything, it’s that there’s always a logical solution- or at least a more logical solution then ghosts.”
Kenny thought for a moment. “Well, like I said, really chubby. He’s also got skinny arms and legs, big feet, a propeller beanie- oh, and a weird ball on a stick.”
“A weird ball on a stick?”
“No one’s quite been able to figure out what it is.”
Tim rubbed his temples. What kind of weird ghost story was this?
Then, something caught his eye.
“Does it look anything like that?” Tim asked.
He pointed to the corner of the Parlor. There, doing a little dance, was a rotund child animatronic with a propeller beanie. Beside him sat a barrel that had several balloons tied to it with a piece of paper taped on that read ‘Take One’.
The kid robot waved a sign that exclaimed ‘Balloons!’. And in his right hand, he held a fake balloon- a long white stick with a striped ball shape on top.
Kenny looked at the robot, and mused on the idea. “I mean it sort of looks like the ghost…but that’s just Balloon Boy, or BB. He has really limited movement.” He pointed at a cord that connected the animatronic to a power outlet. “I doubt he could run all over town, breaking into people’s houses.”
Tim sighed with an air of superiority. “Kenny, I’m not saying this Balloon Boy of yours is doing this. Clearly someone has been using it as the ghost. Maybe they set it up that when someone sees it, they can pull it out of sight with a rope or something. People probably just think they see it actually moving its limbs, and another person starts believing the stupid story.”
“I guess…” Kenny muttered. He tensed up. “But does that mean someone's broken into my restaurant every night, stolen BB, and put him back? All for an elaborate prank?”
Tim shrugged. “People do complicated things for dumb reasons.”
Kenny tapped his fingers nervously on the table. “Should I call the cops? I don’t like the idea that someone’s managed to break in so often without me noticing, even if they don’t steal money.”
“I get the feeling that in a place like this, the news that the ‘Mystery of the Power Ghost' might be solved would spread fast. The prankster would hear about any police stakeout and wouldn’t show up. We need to catch this weirdo if we want to stop them for good.”
“Then what do you suggest?”
“I’ll do a stakeout of my own.”
Kenny giggled, then stopped. “Oh, you’re serious.”
“Yep. You said you didn’t have any spare rooms in your house, anyway.”
“I mean, there’s a motel.”
“Either way I’m staying overnight in a cockroach infested room in a ghost town, and I choose the one I don’t have to pay for.”
“Hey. At Freddy’s Pizza Parlor, we follow health and safety codes!”
“Sorry.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At 8 PM, the Parlor closed. The arcade machines went dark, and the animatronics waved goodbye, shutting down as soon as the kids were out of sight.
Soon after, Kenny walked out of the building, his day’s work done. He looked back at Tim, still inside.
“Sure you want to stay? You’ll be locked in from the outside.”
“I’m not a child, Kenny. I can handle this.”
Kenny shrugged. “Alright, see you tomorrow.” He closed the door and locked it.
Tim watched him get in his car and drive off.
He sipped from a cup of soda, and began staring intently at BB, as if looking away for a moment would give the thief ample time to snatch the robot.
The rays of sunset that had snuck in through the glass door began to fade, and within the hour there was no light left in the restaurant.
Undeterred, Tim flicked the switch on the flashlight Kenny had given him, and kept his gaze fixed on BB.
Still, Tim kept catching himself drifting off. He’d quickly shine the light in his eyes, and get back to watching, but that didn’t last long.
Tim woke with a start after one particularly long lapse, and checked Balloon Boy in a panic.
It wasn’t there.
Tim said some words that really weren’t welcome in Freddy’s Pizza Parlor as he rose up and jogged around quickly, still wiping the sleep from his eyes.
“Hey, you jerk! If you’re here, you better come out, and return BB. I'm gonna put a stop to your stupid prank!”
He entered the hall that led to the backrooms and screeched to a stop. There, standing just around the corner, was BB.
He wasn’t quite able to stop fast enough, though, and crashed into the creepy kid. It fell over, and Tim heard something crack.
“Crud.” He focused his light on the animatronic to see the prop balloon it was holding had shattered. The stick was fine, but the bright red balloon itself was in pieces.
“Where did Kenny get these things? They seem cheap.” Tim muttered.
He cupped his hand around his mouth and yelled, “Whoever you are, you’re paying for that!” Flashlight in hand, he snuck around the shadowy backrooms, searching for the prankster.
After ten minutes, he gave up, and returned to the hall.
“I don’t know where you’re hiding, but I’ll find you, and this whole town will know the truth.” he grumbled.
To his shock, BB was gone again.
“Oh, so is this the game we’re playing?” Tim shouted. “Can’t mess with everyone but you can mess with me? As if you’d ever even begin to fool me into thinking the ‘Power Ghost’s’ real.”
He set his head on a swivel. “Where is that stupid balloon robot now…”
Something behind him caught his eye. He turned to see BB, standing there, eyes right on him.
“Aghhh!” Tim screamed, stumbling backwards and falling onto the dusty checkered floor.
“How- how did someone do that? I didn’t hear a thing…” Tim whispered, trying desperately to catch his breath.
Tim looked back up at the robot. Something about it just seemed wrong. It seemed bigger, and not just from his low perspective. Its colors were slightly off, with the blue stripes on its red shirt looking more purplish in hue. And its eyes- they hadn’t just been posed to look up at him. While the movements were too subtle for him to see, he could tell the eyes were following him, focused on his chest.
Tim forced himself off the ground. Through his continued panic, he decided to use the flashlight to get a closer look at BB.
With another burst of shock, Tim realized the light wasn’t in his hand.
“Must've dropped it when I tripped…” The light was still on, though, and Tim easily traced it back to its current location.
Balloon Boy’s hand.
Its sign, Tim could now see, was resting against the wall, put aside to make room for the glowing light that was Tim’s one line of defense.
Balloon Boy’s eyes shifted, now focuses on the flashlight. It looked back at Tim for a moment, and laughed.
From its smooth, ball-like hand, a bony finger emerged, and flicked the switch.
And the lights went out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim desperately felt his way out of the hall, following the wall back into the main dining room of the Parlor. All the while he racked his mind for explanations, for some kind of solution that could account for everything he’d just seen.
Maybe the prankster had found a way to control it remotely. Maybe this was some kid in a costume. Maybe the robots were supposed to walk around at night and Kenny had forgotten to mention it. Yes, he was reaching, but anything else made more sense than BB really being alive and haunted.
From every direction, that laugh echoed. Balloon Boy had made the sound during the day, every time someone grabbed a balloon. Then it was irritating. Now it was mocking and maddening.
Finally, Tim made his way to the front door. He tried to break through, banging against it with everything he had.
It was no use. It was reinforced, and refused to even crack. There was a little bit of moonlight pouring through it, letting Tim see just a few feet into the otherwise pitch black building.
“Ok…” Tim said to himself. “I’m probably- probably fine. It’s just trying to scare me.” He chuckled nervously. “And Kenny said it never hurts anyone anyway. It just steals batteries and junk like that. I’m good..I think.”
Then Tim facepalmed. “Wait, it? What am I saying, it’s a fake!”
The resonating laughter stopped for a moment, then continued, though different. It was deeper and more guttural than the ones before it.
Then, from in front of him, Tim heard footsteps. They were solid and heavy- definitely not that of the small plastic Balloon Boy.
“Ha! That you, prankster?” Tim grinned confidently, trying to act like he hadn’t been terrified moments ago. “Good job with the ‘Power Ghost’, but I think we should be done here, right?”
A shape moved into the moonlight.
It was Balloon Boy.
But it had changed.
It had gained an extra foot of height, and gotten a bit fatter. Its clothes were now red-and-purple striped. It had an enormous mouth that opened wide, full of teeth the size of toothpicks. There were five of those cadaverous fingers on each hand, each ending in a sharp point. And its eyes, once sky blue, had turned red and bloodshot.
The light may have been relatively dim, but Tim still got a good look at the monstrous machine. And it was that moment he finally realized: it was real.
He couldn’t even scream. He could no longer hide behind his doubts. A real monster marched towards him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
The nightmarish animatronic raised its emaciated claw high over its head. In a moment, it thrusted back down- and sunk it right in Tim’s chest.
Unimaginable pain shot through Tim’s body. He felt the crack of rib and the puncture of lungs. The hand continued to move, rooting around in its bleeding stomach, like a child searching a cookie jar for the last chocolate chip one.
Finally, Tim felt its horrible mitt grab something triumphantly, and pull.
There was a spurt of red liquid and a disgusting squishing sound.
In the thing’s hand, there was something crimson and pulsating. The creature laughed in delight.
That was the last thing Tim heard before his light went out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The kids cheered as Kenny pulled up in his car. It was 9:00, and that meant Freddy’s Pizza Parlor was opening for business!
As he stepped onto the sidewalk, he thought about what he’d heard about while getting breakfast at the local diner: no Power Ghost sightings or missing batteries last night. It appeared Tim had been right. Kenny wasn’t completely happy about this, since it did mean someone had really broken in on a regular basis (he should probably upgrade the security, maybe hire a night guard). It was also a bit of a bummer that the ghost wasn’t real. In most cases such a discovery would be a relief, but the ‘Power Ghost’ wouldn’t have hurt a fly.
Still, maybe it was for the best. Kenny figured Tim was more than ready to get out of there, so he rushed through the small crowd of families, and unlocked the door.
Within seconds, kids swarmed the place. Some employees followed quickly behind, frantically trying to get to their workstations.
Kenny smiled. Felt nice to make kids happy. He just wished Finn would come here sometimes. But he was afraid of the animatronics, something Kenny didn’t blame his son for. They were definitely a little creepy…
A scream rang out from the back of the Parlor.
Kenny sighed. Had a kid thrown up in the ballpit already?
It was quickly followed by dozens more screams, some from adults.
Confused, and beginning to worry, Kenny followed the sounds.
Kenny gently pushed through the crowd gathered in the corner, and saw what everyone was looking in horror at.
It was Balloon Boy. He was dancing around as normal, cheerfully laughing at all the kids. However, every movement he made sent drops of blood splattering onto the checkered floor and the children’s faces. It wasn’t hard to see the source.
Balloon Boy’s white stick was no longer topped with the large fake red balloon. Instead there sat an imperfect, but seemingly satisfactory replacement- a disembodied, oozing human heart.
Kenny, like many were starting to do, vomited. It was disgusting and horrifying- how could Tim have allowed this?
Then Kenny gasped, realizing whose heart it probably was.
In a terrified daze, Kenny stumbled over, and unplugged the robot.
Behind Balloon Boy’s eyes, the lights went out.
The laughter didn’t stop.
4 notes · View notes
glapplebloom · 2 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
There’s a world of stuff out there...
Tumblr media
Lego is possibly the best toy for a lifetime. As a child, it gives you access to an entire world of your imagination. As an adult, it can still do that but it can also be an artistic dream or in my case a fun hobby to collect. And over the years, I have collected a ton of Lego Minifigures. Some are completely custom. Others are rare. Some I just made myself by putting random parts together.
Tumblr media
But over the years, I’ve learned to appreciate the Non-Lego competitors. Some are great, but some are definitely worse. So here are 10 minifigures I’ve owned, with 5 I would gladly say rivals that of Lego. And 5 that proves there’s a reason Lego is the leader of the brand.
Tumblr media
Best 1 - Bootleg Sonic Figures
Lego and Sega did finally team up to release a few Sonic sets. One small one from Lego Dimensions and one Larger one in Sonic the Hedgehog. But sadly, the only Minifigures to come from it are Sonic alone. But thanks to World Minifigs, we got a bunch of them. While some are questionable stuff here and there (you’ll see a Sonic from there later) other characters felt perfectly nailed on! Two examples here being Cream the Rabbit and Infinite. They look amazing. Even if the others aren’t up to snuff, I do recommend getting the collection if you can. Just avoid the ones with the skateboards.
Tumblr media
Worse 1 - Tyco Minifig
Tyco was a competing brand against Lego. They sell them for cheap and the minifigure shows. It looks like Morty. Besides that, when it comes to play features it's very limited. While it has arm, leg and neck articulation, the hands don’t move like Lego. And even worse, no holes in the back of the legs. So if you want this guy to sit down in a vehicle while playing you better make sure he is buckled up.
Tumblr media
Best 2 - Snoopy by Linoos
While it has the same problem as the Tyco Minifigure when it comes to sitting, it does have its advantages. The hands have the full rotation like a Lego Minifigure. The Arms are on a ball joint so it has more movement options than even a Lego. And more importantly, it's Snoopy. Just being able to play with Lego and Snoopy at the same time is a big plus for any Peanuts fan.
Tumblr media
Worst 2 - Pearl by McFarlane
I like Steven Universe. I enjoyed the brand’s Cuphead and FNAF figures. But if there is one flaw with those figures is that they have weak joints. The worst example being this Pearl figure. If the ankles don’t fall off, her leg will. And having her stand is extremely tricky. The South Park Minifigs don’t have this problem because they don’t have those connections like Pearl here does. In fact it only seems to be this Pearl Minifig that can’t keep her legs on.
Tumblr media
Best 3 - The Rugrats from Snap and Switch by Well Played
In 2018, Basic Fun showed us their future releases of Minifigures based on Nicktoons. We were going to get Aah! Real Monsters, Rocko, Hey Arnold, Ren and Stimpy, and of course Rugrats. They were the ones who did Bendy and the Ink Machine Minifigures and outside Alice their Version 1 figures were neat. While their Exploding Kittens set was released, Nickelodeon decided to go for a cheaper deal with Well Played. But surprisingly, they look incredibly good. Even the TMNT ones look like it could rival Lego's attempts. Shame it's just these two.
Tumblr media
Worst 3 - Family Guy from K’Nex
Remember when the Simpsons came out for Lego? Family Guy followed suit (or maybe came before?) via the K’Nex brand. And BOY were they ugly. Brian used the Yoshi body mold, Peter and Chris seem to be more wide than they’re supposed to be (probably used Bowser’s Mold), and poor Lois and Meg. They obviously used the Mario Molds and they look like they got stung by bees everywhere other than the arms. Stewie is passable, but that’s it.
Tumblr media
Best 4 - Power Rangers from Mega Bloks 
Before they were called Mega Construx, they were Mega Bloks. While that name still exists, it's usually for the smaller age demographic. These did two and came in two variants. One is a six pack to celebrate the Power Rangers 20th Anniversary (that if I didn’t open could have made an easy grand) that had removable helmets (but they all share the same head underneath). The other no removal of helmets. Still with the articulation close to the Mega Construx figures while still being closer to size with Lego Minifigs, this is a great way to have Lego sized Power Ranger fun.
Tumblr media
Worst 4 - This Sonic Minifigure I got from E-Bay
Remember earlier when I said the Bootleg Sonic Minifigures are questionable, this Sonic is one of them. He looks more like Shadow than Sonic. But he’s still MILES better than the Sonic Minifigure I got from E-Bay before Lego released a real Sonic. I got him thinking two things: 1) Lego is never going to release a Sonic set. 2) The head is a custom piece. Well, it is custom but it’s more like putting a piece of plastic on a cylinder one by one piece.They don’t sell them like this anymore and thank goodness.
Tumblr media
Best 5 - Transformers from Kre-O
While their building sets weren’t as good as Lego’s their minifigures are on point. Ball jointed legs, arms, wrist swivel and size of a Lego Minifigure. They’re frikkin awesome. I even got a G.I. Joe one of equal quality. I do wish Hasbro kept going with the Kre-O line and released stuff with My Little Pony and the like. But alas, they’re out of the brick building game and decided to lend out their licenses to others. For good, it gave us a Lego Optimus Prime. For bad…
Tumblr media
Worst 5 - G. I. Joe from Forever Clever
Hasbro, instead of doing their own brick builds of G. I. Joe, gave the license to Forever Clever. While I found both these sets and the Rugrats sets from Five and Below, you can definitely tell which one is the more quality brand. You see that Gray Ninja? The packaging showed him white. So imagine thinking I got Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, I get a random Grey Ninja. Not to mention they look blocky compared to the others. Also the builds were pretty weak grip wise.
And that’s a small sampling of my collection. Want more?
6 notes · View notes
nel-world · 3 months ago
Text
hi
So, y’all ever notice how there’s an app for everything these days? I’m talkin’ about everything. You need to find a place to eat? There’s an app. Wanna track your steps? App. Tryna figure out if you got enough gas to get to work? There’s probably an app for that too, like “You’re Gonna Be Late, Bro.”
But the wildest part? The moment you get an app, it’s like a whole new relationship. It’s all good at first—you’re excited, you’re checkin’ it every five minutes like, “What’s new? What’s happenin’?” Then, after a week, it’s blowin’ up your phone like a clingy ex. “Hey, remember me? You haven’t opened me in a while. How about a notification?”
And what’s up with all these permissions? You download an app to play chess, and it’s like, “Can we access your contacts? Can we track your location? Can we read your mind?” Nah, man, I just wanna checkmate, not be checkmated by Big Brother!
But let me tell you, the real drama starts when you gotta delete an app. You’re sittin’ there, lookin’ at your phone like, “Do I really need this? Have I outgrown this app?” It’s like a breakup conversation in your head. “It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve changed. I’ve moved on.”
And some apps don’t wanna go! You hit “delete,” and they’re like, “Are you sure? Are you really sure? How about we send you some updates? We can be better, I promise!” It’s like they’re tryna slide back into your life with that “I miss you” text at 2 AM.
Then there are the apps you download just to feel productive. You ever get one of those habit-tracking apps? You’re like, “Yeah, I’m gonna drink more water, meditate, and finally read that book.” Two days later, you’re ignoring it like a gym membership. Every time you open your phone, it’s just sittin’ there, judgin’ you like, “So… you just gonna skip another day?”
But you know what the worst is? The social media apps. They’re the sneakiest. You download ‘em thinkin’ you’re just gonna check in for a minute. Next thing you know, you’re deep in a rabbit hole, watchin’ videos of people buildin’ tiny houses out of Legos at 3 AM. You’re like, “How did I get here? I just wanted to see what my aunt posted.”
And then they got the nerve to ask you to rate them! “Would you like to leave a review?” Uh, yeah, sure: “This app took my time, my soul, and my sanity. 5 stars.”
But for real, though, apps are like modern-day relationships. Some are great, some are toxic, and some just don’t work out. But no matter what, we keep swipin’, downloadin’, and deletin’, tryin’ to find the one that’s gonna stick.
Here’s to hopin’ we all find our perfect match—an app that doesn’t ask for too much, gives us what we need, and knows when to chill with the notifications.
This is America? I’m fucking in! Big Pimpin’ was the epitome of the American dream and I needed to be part of it. I wanted to be like these larger-than-life American superheroes they called rappers. I wanted to be a pimp like Jay-Z and a gangster like 50 Cent. I made it my life’s goal to live the Big Pimpin’ lifestyle. Whenever I watched BET, I forgot I was a small foreign Chinese boy and I felt like a badass gangsta. I started imitating how the rappers walked and how they talked. I would go up to my classmates and say, “Yo what up, dog. Our geometry teacher is a bitch, homie.” I felt like my identity was being judged based on the other Asians around me instead of my own personality, my inside voice screamed, I listen to Jay-Z, motherfuckers! In high school, thong thong thong thong thong!” This was one of the first songs I heard on American radio. It was catchy as hell, but I had no idea what a thong was. Then when I saw the music video, everything made sense. I couldn’t rap for shit, but I wanted so badly to be part of the glamorous rap game that I’d seen on Rap City. Chris downloaded a bootleg copy of Sony’s ACID Music Studio, a beat-making software, and he started cranking out some sick beats. Then Jeremy, Phil and I would go to Chris’s mom’s apartment and record our raps on his five-dollar computer microphone. Next thing you know, we’d formed a rap group just like N.W.A. Chris’s mom’s apartment and his Dell desktop became our recording studio. We felt like the real deal and we called ourselves Syndakit. The first time I recorded at Chris’s house, he played me a beat he had just made. It sounded like a real track I’d heard on Rap City. I pulled out my notebook and I was ready to write my first rhymes, but I I never got a record deal, but I experienced creative freedom for the first time
0 notes
alolanroy · 10 months ago
Text
Watch Thread 2024 Pt 1
VOTOMS: Brilliantly Shining Heresy: The animation is great and Chirico does his thing. The ideas introduced could've been developed more, but the vibes were there and what more do you want from votoms. My biggest gripe would be that the romantic angle doesn't work and damages Fyana in a way that gives it a hard fail for the Bechdel Test. 6/10
Tumblr media
Votoms: Alone Again: By the end they had me, but man, the actual ending is so abrupt that it just killed the momentum for me. 5/10
Tumblr media
Votoms: Phantom Arc: I was almost on board for the concept of 'the side characters do a tour of all the locations from the series' as a bit, but once I realized they were just repeating the actual beats of the show I checked out. This only scrapes by using the charm of the cast, but I was rolling my eyes and groaning 3/10
Tumblr media
Portal Revolution: Slick UI, well designed puzzles and writing and voice acting that didn't make me want to die. Dare I say? A bit funny? I love using the portal gun to traverse the varied terrain like in this mod and I have to give them a lot of credit for keeping the gameplay veriety up. It even left me impressed by the final boss and the laser cube mechanic I'd love to see more of. 7.5/10
Tumblr media
Ninja Terminator: My first true IFD ninja movie, Ninja Terminator made me understand what people meant when they said these were just random southeast Asian films with white guys with mustaches and ninja outfits stapled on. It sure is one of those. But it also has a lot of wild quirks that make it funny as hell in a group watch: Garfield phone, Omega Supreme shows up in bootleg form multiple times, stolen music from L-Gaim and crabs. The source movie looks fantastic though, in a rediculous sense, like the weird villain, cool clothes, and muff diving. However, the fight scenes were surprisingly fun. -8/10
Tumblr media
Slipstream: Don't let the first five minutes fool you with the cool and fairly realized post-apocalyptic setting and badass Mark Hamill anti-hero, this movie is boring as hell. 3/10
Tumblr media
Super Ninja: This is going to be the lower end of my spectrum for IFD ninja movies. It feels a lot more like 3 movies stitched together, one of them is a mildly cool Rambo knock-off. Otherwise, hard to follow and it never gave me a reason to.-2/10
Tumblr media
Yu Yu Hakusho (Netflix): This had me until it really didn't. Right around the halfway point it remembers that it was a modern Japanese anime adaptation and tried to cram the the Dark Tournament arc in. You can tell they had no faith in the project so they just crammed in all the things people liked. I mean, in Kurama's second fight he busts out Yoko Kurama form. I hope this never gets a second season. 5/10
Tumblr media
Doctor Who 2023 Specials: GOOD WRITING IS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!
A good refresher. More 'Kiddie' than the rest, but a palette cleanser was needed. Points for trying to make a pronoun joke that is actually funny.
A spooky Episode? Haven't enjoyed one of these in a hot minute. good all-ages TV should be a little scary. The kids love it and the adults love intellectualizing it.
The Doctor has his own Q now, nice. Glad they kinda lampshade the character's racist past by having me be consistently racist to everyone. I wasn't fully onboard for Time Lord Mitosis, but allows Tennant to have a happy ending chilling with Donna's family while letting the new series feel more refreshed.
Gatwa's 15th Doctor has a lot of energy, and I think the series needed that enthusiasm back. Not the weird tryhard enthusiasm where the show tells you to be excited, I mean that the characters are just thrilled to be on an adventure.
Pinning a piece of celery to your jacket isn't exactly straight, but I'm glad the new series is really trying to put different types of diversity at the forefront(though I'm glad I wasn't in the UK when this aired, I imaging not everyone was chuffed). Looked fantastic by the way. 8/10
Tumblr media
Votoms: Case; Irvine: I would have actually liked to see more like this, but without the mecha, this could have really been any universe. Good character design and the ending went suprisingly hard. 7.5/10
Tumblr media
Votoms Finder: THATS IT! *G-Recos your votoms*
An Armored Trooper with safety features isn't a VOTOM. 5/10
Tumblr media
Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger: Adventure Heaven:
The fully CG environments are badly integrated as always, it looks like a DLC area in a videogame
The framing device of a long lost childhood friend screams 'BLEACH movie'
No Quarry :(
The final fight has a great monster costume and over-the-top choreography
All is forgiven 7.5/10
Tumblr media
Turkish Star Wars: This movie is incoherent and violently funny at times. The reversed star wars footage that implies the heroes are the empire, the lore dump about Islam and the constant reuse of Indiana Jones music...I think this might be the first movie with a negative Bechdel Test score. -8/10
Tumblr media
Andor: I'm resisting the urge to make some kind of snarky comment here, I think because I'm so used to Disney Star Wars delivering creatively bankrupt slop, but like, this was incredible. I can't speak for some of the threads that might get wrapped up in a second season, but this really nailed the banality of evil/tapestry of cause and effect thing it was going for. Is Andor my new favorite Star Wars character? The dialogue was good? like really good????? HUH???? 9/10
Tumblr media
Vilja in Skyrim: Sorry 2016 Elder Scrolls community, but this wasn't good. It was 2016 and everyone could handle grating sound quality for a modicum of virtual affection. I however cannot, and I don't intend on fully unpacking that she if a little fantasy racist. 4/10
Tumblr media
Half Life 2: Episode 1: VR: This may have been impressive at the time, but the first hour being mostly waiting for Alyx to stop talking to open doors is not good game design. Maybe it was just compounded by the sense of being stuck more since it was in VR, but this convinced me to not finish the episodes in VR. 4/10
Tumblr media
The Black Hole: It's painfully dull and in a post-Star Wars world I see why people didn't like it. It has some great concept art ruined by a script that feels like it was out of the black and white era, and I mean that in a bad way. It has the aggressively white futurism and inconsequential woman who screams, but none of the charm that can make those amusing in the modern day. The only interesting thing it does is have the villain go to hell trapped in his goofy robot for some reason. 2/10
Tumblr media
The Last Starfighter: Hey look! A hero's journey! Looks like someone actually learned the right lessons from Star Wars. I found this to be incredibly charming and a couple moments (and not just the ones you might be thinking) really stuck with me. 8.5/10
Tumblr media
Cowboys & Aliens: Everyone lied to you. This movie whips ass. 7/10
Tumblr media
Skyrim Saints and Seducers Extended Cut: Incredible what a little story, some great voice acting, and a small open world space can do to make a paid mod pop...if only another mod wasn't required to make it happen. This thing really puts the bandit camp as content trough to shame. Delightful. 7/10
Tumblr media
Armor Hunter Mellowlink: I think this show has a pretty good time with it's novel premise of 'taking a gun to a giant robot fight'. I'm probably not doing enough to praise this show, the episodic structure kept if feeling fresh for most of its run. I do think a few skirts a little too close to well-worn Votoms territory (like the battling arenas) but it does enough to differentiate itself. However, I do think that Arity and Lulucy don't make a particularly compelling team and it makes the last act drag. 7/20
Tumblr media
Skyrim Creation Club/Anniversary Edition: For completions sake I actually tried to knuckle down and clear all of these and here are my thoughts.
The Cause - Probably the closest these come to being real content. New environments, reskinned enemies and half-decent quest design do a lot to make me ignore the aura of CC content. I'll admit I was even a little excited when the second quest proc'd. 5/10
Ghosts of the Tribunal - Initially exciting, but primarily fetch-quest content ping-ponging between NPCs that can't really talk gets old. I never really felt like I was infiltrating a cult, more like doing fetch quests for a faction more than joining one. 4.5/10
Forgotten Seasons - OH BOY A HUGE DWEMER RUIN, NEVER SEEN THAT IN A MOD BEFORE. Jokes aside it actually had some interesting mechanics and themed areas. A little light on story. 4/10
Player homes - Meh, at most I used some of these as crafting tables, but I have better ones for mods and I don't really use player homes as anything other than a follower holding area. 3/10
Armor sets/weapons - The majority of the 'quest' framing devices are so paper thin, they should have just thrown the armor in a chest somewhere if most of it boils down to a quest marker from a note you need uesp to find. If they were going to put in this little effort, I would have been less insulted if they just respected my time and not tried at all. 2/10
Fishing - I hate that this is permanently part of my load order. I can't remove it. 0/10
Tumblr media
Project AHO: A gem of a little mod. While the value proposition of another player home doesn't really do much for me, I had a blast with this self-contained adventure. If anything, I kind of wish it kept the handicap of being trapped without your items going longer because I felt myself doing the rare role-playing in this RPG. Part of me wishes the ending could have incorporated some form of reform or radical action in response to being enslaved by the Dunmer, but I suppose I could have just gone on a rampage once I got free. But instead of bemoaning what it doesn't have, I'll compliment what it does: Solid writing, fun secrets and some cool spells.7.5/10
Tumblr media
The Queens Corgi: This is one of those kids movies you shouldn't let your kids watch. Not because of the monarchism (It makes that look lousy in its own way), I'm talking about the bizarre messaging this thing is loaded. For example, the love interest is explicitly a gold-digger stripper dog. When some 90's cartoons could get away with stuff like that, this movie has 0 charm to back it up. -6/10
Tumblr media
Demolition Man: The movie is fun enough and the action is a great watch. However I can't untangle this movie from what it has become in the modern day. Knowing that this is genuinely what a lot of people my dad's age think the real world is like now makes me bummed. whatever commentary is completely droll to me. Even on the positive side, this movie can't really escape the modern lens. At least we got baffled by the international version that has Pizza Hut instead of Taco Bell. 6.5/10
Tumblr media
LIFEFORCE: I'd love to see this re-edited to let the mystery breathe. Frontloading the space stuff (obviously meant to be in the middle) and seeing 'based on the book SPACE VAMPIRES' really flattened the suspense in a way I found funny. otherwise, this movie had a lot of great VFX and an unexpected zombie apocalypse in its final act. I like it when a movie escalates and surprises me. Neat. 7.5/10
Tumblr media
Mission Impossible I: Getting around to watching the first three of these has put a lot into perspective. This one really is the template for that the series settle into with 4 and onwards. Good action and stunts with fun concepts. I good first draft. 7/10
Tumblr media
Mission Impossible II: I'll be honest I didn't really like this one. The Y2K time capsule didn't mesh particularly well with the mismatched John Woo-isms. It would have been more fun if it committed harder to either, but it just didn't work for me. Perhaps to undue focus on a romantic plot that we all know will never be referenced again kind of ruined it. 4/10
Tumblr media
Mission Impossible III: Are you telling me that Abrams directed this? I COULDN'T TELL. I'm glad the series took wild swings to find an identity though. 5/10
Tumblr media
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny: Sauceless. Every element that makes Indy work is not present here. Action? Meh. Music? Nonexistent after the first 20 minutes. Harrison Ford? Rendered in CG with no light behind his eyes. Humor? I don't think I smiled. Punching Nazis? Somehow they managed to make that not satisfying. Maybe it is the forced late-60s lighting, direction, or modern Disney visuals, but it lacks that tangibility that made the originals so gripping. But once again I am left wondering why Disey's only idea for 'Legacy' intellectual properties is to make Harrison Ford's character old, divorced, and pathetic. I can see how you'd try that angle once, but it seems like such a maladaptive strategy for a company that wants to sell t-shirts and toys to adults. Reminding my dad that things only go downhill is a bad way to sell Blu-rays. 2/10
Tumblr media
0 notes
pisayers · 1 year ago
Text
Hivemind
The giant parasol danced over our heads as the wind grazed the smiles on our faces. Gift wrappers and plastic packages flew across the cemented basketball court, halting a 3x3 basketball game with the lower years on the other side. Nobody in the graduating batch cared, however. It was the final Christmas Party that we were going to get as high schoolers, and by mercy of the higher powers who were mad with rain pouring down in torrents for the past few days, the sun shone bright amidst feathery clouds that dotted the clear blue sky.
With a scratch card, a pearl bracelet, Virginia Woolf’s To The Lighthouse, a spiral notebook, a pen thought to have been used by Kurt Vonnegut, and a gray laptop bag all wrapped around my arms, I shambled to a nearby tent and poured all of my gifts on the brown table. To my dismay, my scratch card fluttered with the wind, landing center court on a pair of Converse shoes.
I froze. Around ninety other people on the court and it had to be her. Her black cardigan shielded a shiny purple crop top with laces on her chest that hovered over the golden buckle of her cotton belt. Her leather pants gleamed in front of my eyes as I shuffled my way over to her looking like a balled up armadillo. Luckily, my Brooklyn Nets ball cap-trench coat-dark skinny jeans combo aired a shadowy and mysterious aura around me that blanketed my trembling bones beneath the heavy fabric.
She crouched down and scooped up the scratch card with her milk chocolate fingers, simultaneously readjusting her lumberjack bonnet to expose the bangs of her wavy hair. Every time she smiles and shows off those dimples, it’s as if I slowly melt to the ground like honey. The sweetness emanating from her polished brown eyes is enough for bees to swarm toward her. Each step I took was a staircase branching out into an out-of-body experience that still couldn’t process how I was even inches away from her.
“Sa’yo ba ‘to?” she asked in the cutest voice I’ve ever heard.
“Yep.”
“Awww. Isang piso lang?”
“May nakakuha ng 10k jan. Malas nga eh.”
“Okay lang yan. Baka swertehin ka pa sa susunod.”
Hopefully, luck is enough to carry me through what I’m about to pull off right now.
However, I clocked her best friend hobbling over towards our direction, her cream crutches and walking boot painted with my batchmates’ signatures covered in glitter. The two are almost inseparable and the timing could not be any worse. Tears welled up in my eyes as her friend wrapped her toned arms around her waist, her veiny hands hovering gently on the small of her back. Every neuron in my nerves, every fiber in my muscles, and every calcium deposit in my bones wanted to shred their arms apart like I was busting through elevator doors, but I didn’t have the guts.
I ran away to a spot in the bushes just meters away from the two to calm myself down. Even Mother Nature was screaming at me to just do it. The rustling of the bamboo grazing my flimsy arms, the dead leaves falling on my shoulders, and the bees dancing around my bootleg Mamba shoes were practically shoving me back onto the center court.
Suddenly, a skateboard collided with the banana tree on my right and crashed its way towards me. A short little boy who barely looked like a high school freshman charged towards the skateboard. With a mouth stained with chocolate syrup, baggy cargo pants mismatched with his black death metal tee, and a propellor beanie hat spinning at thousands of revolutions per minute, he jumps at the sight of me, startled and confused.
“Kuya? Anong ginagawa niyo dito?”
“Silong lang. Ang init.”
“Ay, sige po. Kunin ko lang po skateboard ko.”
Nearly tripping over his own untied shoelaces, he stumbled into the skateboard and picked it up by one of its wheels. The thing is taller than him, and clearly, he didn’t know how to use it. Who decided it was a good idea to give him this as a gift?
“Nagawa niyo na po ba?”
Amidst my own thoughts, the question startled me. Gossip around campus spreads like wildfire, I suppose.
He rambled, “Doon lang po siya sa gitna, oh?”
“Alam ko. Mamaya. Layas ka na.”
The boy frowned. It was never my intention to come off as cold. It’s just how I am when on edge.
“Sige, kuya.” he sighed. “Doon lang po ako sa triage kung kailangan niyo ako.”
“Enjoy ka, bro.” as I reached my clenched hand up for a fist bump.
With the widest chocolate grin, the boy ran as fast as the propeller on his head, leaving my outstretched arm hanging in the air.
I sat on the green bleachers, creeping along its sides to make sure no backpack or Aquaflask tumbler falls over. She was still there in the middle chatting with her best friend, their smiles brighter than the midday sun. With eagle eyes, I clocked every detail: the hem of her leather pants getting stepped on by her black slides, the three strands of hair shielding her right eye at random times, and the little tiny bells in her back pocket, jingling as if they were calling out my name. I was so fixated on her that I didn’t even feel the taps on my shoulder as one of the alumni who came to visit offered me a mango salad in a small plastic cup.
“Kahit hindi na po, kuya. Mangingilaw ngipin ko.” I exclaimed sarcastically. Or, at least, I made it appear sarcastic to him. It was true, though. I don’t exactly want to present myself with yellow-stained teeth.
He replied, “Sige. Bahala ka.” as he munched down on the mango bits with a small wooden spoon sticky with condensed milk.
The silence was deafening. I wanted to start a conversation with him, but no topic came out. What a waste of an alumnus’ time on campus!
“Nagawa mo na ba?”
And just like that, the ice between us was shattered. You would think someone studying in UP Cebu would not hear about hearsay in Baguio, but here we are now, I suppose.
“Pa’no niyo alam, kuya?” I asked, taken aback.
He chuckled, “Basta, pre. May connections ako dito.”
In mock frustration, I got up and walked to wherever the wind decided to take me next.
As I tiptoed along the sidelines of the basketball court, her pretty face was still there in the center with a Polaroid camera dangling on her middle and ring fingers. She whipped out a stack of pastel Polaroid film and tucked the plastic bag in the pockets of her best friend’s hoodie. It’s like that opening lyric in Katy Perry’s Firework. Yeah, I wanted to feel like a plastic bag. Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now.
To my surprise, the skateboard kid ran up to them and offered to take their photo, the stupid chocolate grin still plastered on his face. Is he just allergic to wiping his mouth? I guess some people don’t care about how they look in public. With bubbling annoyance held back, I watched the kid peep through the tiny viewfinder and double-tap the shutter button, the pastel film squeezing its way out and getting blown towards my direction. Not wanting a repeat of what I will now deem as the “scratch card incident” to my own gossip mates, I lumbered towards the 3x3 game on the other side of the court. Perhaps a basketball game under this trench coat can clear my head.
It didn’t.
How I even entered the basketball game was a blur at this point. At one point, I was substituting a random Grade 9 student who was thirty minutes late for his class, and suddenly, I was now guarding the campus’s basketball coach as the tallest and most capable person on the team that could stop him. My tomato chest and twig-like legs were barely holding on against the violent bumps and collisions he was making with his shoulder, and he bullied his way into the inside of the paint for an easy two points. As I was getting ready to pass the ball back to my teammates, I realized that the game was finished. Coach scored the final point to win the game. The Grade 9 prick subbed me in at the last possible moment of the game.
“Game!” he yelled, followed by an engine-like chuckle that pissed you off every time you got scored on.
Behind clenched teeth, I replied, “Nice game, sir.”
“Nice game.”
I slowly marched towards the underside of the backboard for some slight shade. With gallons of sweat dripping down to my core, I watched the rest of the teachers and staff remaining on the court chucking up shots before their class time. You almost had the assumption that they took the game of basketball more seriously than their actual classwork. Then again, when more than half of your students are getting unos in their report card, no one bats an eye.
I leaned my shoulder on the basketball pole when a ball started flying in my direction, nearly hitting me on the face if not for my quick reflexes. It was an airball. Coach made an airball. I couldn’t believe it.
“Sorry!” he shouted from the three-point line.
“Oks lang po, sir.”
He slowly sauntered his way towards me, his broken glasses nearly falling out a few times with the bullets of sweat making the wrinkles on his face more slippery. Here goes another philosophical reading that I have no care in the world to listen to right now.
“Alam mo, ang lovelife parang basketball lang. Dapat shoot ka lang ng shoot. Oo mimintis ka, pero…”
He proceeded to ramble on, but I was too distracted by her on the center court once again, now all alone. She had her phone out resting on the fingers of her hands, but it didn’t seem like she was doing anything with it. With the droopy eyelids and hunched back, it almost seemed like she was bored, scanning the surrounding area for a random volleyball player or band mate to talk to.
Quietly, I slipped away from Coach, still rambling about the basketballs and the bees. While he was young enough to dominate the basketball court, he was thankfully old enough to not realize that I was out of his sight, sprinting towards the center court with rivers of sweat flowing down to my neck and shoulders. It was time.
“Hi! May sasabihin lang ako.” I muttered.
“Hello! Ano ‘yon?” she replied, the sparks in her eyes making me tear up from anxiety.
The words won’t leave my lips. It’s three fucking words. What am I doing? My eyes are darting everywhere. She’s swaying her hips waiting for me to say something. The skateboard kid bulldozed some teacher’s toddler at the back. Her best friend dropped her popcorn seeing the two of us together. Coach was watching from the sideline. Coach knows what’s going on?
I couldn’t take it. I had to go. The gift wrappers are still scattered on the floor. The feathery clouds up in the sky were clumping together. The bees flew around in a frenzy.
“Joke lang. Sorry! Bye!” I stammered.
I ran towards the campus gates out onto the sidewalk. I darted towards the sunflower hills along the horizon. I needed no one to be around me. Just me and my cowardly mind. Can’t even say three words to save my life.
Once I got to the peak of one of the hills, I crashed to the ground beneath me, the earthy soil fresh for planting. I watched as the bees around me crowded upon the sunflowers, clueless as their abdomens trickled down spots of pollen to the fertile land. A little bit of spreading here and there is what makes life exciting, I suppose.
1 note · View note