#FUCK MYSELF AND MY STUPID WANT TO BE A BOY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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job applications: this is entry level! anyone can apply!

job applications: ...as long as you've done at least six months of highly specific work, or have this exact degree, or if you kissed a chicken during the last moon of 2012-

#im back in the trenches bois its Not Looking Great #gonna apply to this stupid thing anyway but #it looks like stockin grocery store shelves is the way im gonna go #unless i get Very lucky or manage to bullshit my way into this job #college isn't necessary but Man a lot of places want you to attend. no <3 #but noooo instead i have to like. work. till i die. and never make enough money to live comfortably. sigh #sometimes i think to myself 'i should make video essays on youtube and see if that goes anywhere'#and sometimes i think 'i should scribble up things that people would buy and make a shop'#and sometimes i think 'what if i killed someone with a stick. would that be fucked up or what'#absolutely unprompted #AGHHHHHHHH THE BOXES WE AS HUMANITY HAVE LOCKED OURSELVES INTO IM GONNA LOSE IT #i was born to be a handsome decoration / weird little artist for eccentric wealthy people #i was meant to drape myself across a beautiful philanthropist woman's lap and doodle lil animals for her #while she rambles and feeds me grapes #yk. if i did make a shop i could have an extra section for small crochet things #coasters. small hand warmers. tiny shapes. simple cat toys. that sorta thing. quick and easy stuff #i could make them w/ specific colors so that they're subtle fandom themed #i literally have a coaster in damian's robin colors... a black/red SB square...#hm. thinking #oh shit i gotta work on that new commission sheet #OH NO. I FORGOR SOMETHING I SHOULD NOT HAVE FORGOR. I HAVE MADE A LITTLE FUCKY WUCKY #excuse me everyone i have something to finish

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polteergeistt · 3 months

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AND DURING PRIDE MONTH TOO

#ffs #how do you go about knowing the fact that your best friend. who used to be your lesbian lover. is in love with girl you but now boy you #*not #like what.#FOR A WHOLE YEAR #I'VE BEEN OUT FOR A WHOLE YEAR #she doesn't want to use my name and i let her use nicknames AND I LET HER BECAUSE IT WAS CUTE AND SILLY AND I'M FUCKING STUPID #and she's been shitting on my back ???? hello ??????#how do i become angry at her because they next time i will see her i will just. be friendly to her again.#and i know i'm not very masculine in some of my behavior and i'm pre everything. BUT I'M STILL A DUDE #i think the worst part is that because i liked her attention i sort of feminized myself (?) more #like.....#nah this is bullshit #she is here on tumblr btw and some of you might be moots with her #but i blocked her

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binch-i-might-be · 1 month

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alright that's it I'm bringing up my stupid unspecified vagina trauma in my next therapy session

#tried using a tampon again. once again did not work and now i can Feel it There and it makes me want to cry!#due to me being on my period and other such issues #girl i hate this stupid fucking thing so much. i'm gonna be honest chief i wish i just didn't have that #such a stupid fucking organ. archaic!!!!#you know WHAT if i had been amab i would be sooo hot & sexy rn because that's the way men in my family spawn #i would have had a better childhood because i wouldn't constantly have had massive gender struggles and would thus be less fucked up #and i would have a FUCKING AUTISM DIAGNOSIS BY NOW BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW AFAB PEOPLE CAN'T HAVE AUTISM #i would be much more confident and normal due to the way boys are socialised. and i wouldn't have this BITCHASS UGLY WRETCHED VAGINA #ohhhhh my god why wasn't i amab. kills herself #i wouldn't have tits...... oh my god my back would be intact..........#dreaming of a better world as the period hormones make me want to kill myself as is customary every month since i was 11 #when i say i don't mind being a woman i'm LYING I LITERALLY MIND SO MUCH I HATE IT HERE

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piningpercussionist · 8 months

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Template by @juni38

Im going to be completely frank with you all... and admit that I read these options and wasn't sure how to take this chart,,, so uh. Under the cut is Another Version. I'd apologize but I've given you the option to keep scrolling ¯\_(･･)_/¯

(If you notice characters missing on Kim's side, I probably figured she doesn't know who they are lol)

For the record,,, if they *wanted* me to pull their hair-- *is shot several times before I can continue*

Uhh Matthew is here because I have been converted fully on he/him or enby lesbian Matthew I think. He lives in my brain rent free now, very gender. I'd pull his hair but also I think he mostly just deserves to have it played with nicely.

And Scott's here because 1) I enjoy trans Scott, 2) Kim Pine Brain Rot possibly, 3) idk he's like,, the exception. God damnit, I've fallen for the inexplicable Scott Pilgrim Effect. What the fuck--

I did think about doing this chart like everyone was actually applicable to my tastes, but even if they were I think the ones I didn't put up would have to fall on the caress side bc I just don't feel that way abt them lol.

Again, not to say that's the case for the gals over on that side,,, I just think I would want to be gentle w them shxkdjsdhbd with the exception for Lynette who probably deserves to have her hair pulled, but again I fear she would Hurt Me,,, but maybe in a fun way,,,

Anyway No One Look At Me....

(,, also,,, Ramona is so far over bc I think she would enjoy it,, otherwise she'd be closer to Kim in that section. Same thing w Roxie)

If anyone actually looks at this version, I'm not opposed to doing a version like this for Kim btw! Just ask for it so I feel like I'm not just Dropping This and scurrying away

#sp comic #meme #kim pine #id tag more people but i Do Not Have The Strength....#also i like Living and I think the idea of more people seeing the suggestively taken one makes me want to Die a little #(not to say you cant reblog this or whatever im just being dramatic shdjejsdhdhgdd I am generally a fairly Reserved person)#for the kim chart- i based my other scott placement on the interaction theyve had here! i think if they interacted for real or more often +#+ he'd end up definitively in the Pull Roughly suggestion with most people #ooc #he maybe if i finish edits for everyone i could try this w the au stuff. kit's thoughts might be different here...#hey*#also let me know if i forgot anyone??? i thought abt including the robots but. no hair. and gideon the cat has Fur so. on technicality-#but like barring parents and peter i think i got most people #i guess if lainey was here she'd go somewhere in the middle or right? w/out knowing what she'd be like #FUCK I DIDNT MEAN TO POST THIS. I MEAN IT'S HERE NOW SO IM NOT REMOVING IT BUT I AM S C R E A M I N G I WASNT READY #ah i forgot crash and the boys actually. thats why i wasnt supposed to post this yet #uhhhh Pull Roughly for like all of them. except trasha. trasha gets head pats and a juice box #except for on Kim's chart. on Kim's chart she's in the pull roughly section I can't lie to myself. she hates that kid 😭 also on that note +#+ knives should probably be in the middle section. like she wants to pull it for her having copped her style and being stupid abt scott.#but I didn't put her there bc I feel like even if she wants to she wouldn't ya know? knives is a Precious Angel after all

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mitamicah · 2 months

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aaaaaa I'm so excited you got the ARE YOU from Jere!!!!! Are you designing the tattoo already???

I am still not over that and especially now with his story like how dARE YOU 😭🤣

ARe yOU 👀👀👀

I have most of the design ready i just went into a state were i can nothing but fanboy for a hot minute so I hope to get myself calm enough to transfer my pictures and scan the page so I can work on it 😍

#his stupid face (affectionate)#he freaking knew how to trigger me omg xD #if anybody is curious/confused here is a run down #so i had barricade at backas where the boy noticed me twice #the first time he commented on my hair (you have my old hair)#the second time he commented on my bulbasaur hat and called me denmark guy (gender affirmed)#and after being noticed twice i was so starstruck i didnt know what to say so i started are you'ing him #after are you'ing eachother twice he directly went to ask people about ruisrock (subtle)#two days later i decided to say fuck it and make a sign for an are you tattoo #i had one at home i hadnt take with me bc i didnt want to stress myself #but now i felt brave #then jere starts freaking are you'ing the crowd #and i get my sign in the air #and he sees it!!!#and jokes he will write it on my ass #later i get help from a generous finnish kääryle to actually get jere to write are you for me #and i had already been insufferable before that since are you is my comfort stimm #so now i even more annoyed people around me are you'ing everytime i could #and now his freaking story is triggering me to start are you'ing again #and i am so freaking excited!!!#JERE YOU BASTARD!!!#replies

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ukulelegodparent · 7 months

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grrrr why did people ever stop wearing mid-renaissance clothes

#yes I am mad bc I wanna go to fetes galantes with a friend in a few years #which will mean having to make a baroque gown and I just think Baroque dresses are so ugly 😭#give me back my beautiful renaissance shapes please!!! I am crying I am shaking etc #and by renaissance I do not mean whatever rigid monstrocities the british had going on during the tudor and elisabethan era #I mean my beautiful German/Dutch renaissance soft shapes #with just absolute madness in the sleeves and in the details #like at least rococo is a little fun bc panniers but baroque? I want to throw myself off a cliff.#'Early 16th century is when Central European fashion peaked and honestly we should've just kept that' remains the hill I will die on #like it's so fun and so stupid. you want a big silly hat? have a big silly hat! you want the poofiest sleeves to ever poof? go for it!#You want an ornamented fake bulge that is very dick shaped that has a little pocket in it for treats to give to the ladies #(top 10 flirting tips they don't tell you about! Works every time!!!)? Boy do I have the accessory for you!#but no we must have weird flowy shapes and then not even commit to that also lets all wear the worst hairstyle anyone has #ever conceived of. that's a good idea!#just completely lost literally what were people on about back then? A fucking disgrace I'm telling you!

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lilowoof · 22 days

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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone #you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run #my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point #the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer #why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up #what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation #and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other #that might be fun #also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING #but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion #but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha #ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog #one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art #gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free #ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-

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tardis--dreams · 1 month

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Feeling homicidal at work today ♡

#there's been major issues with wordpress for Weeks now and my beloved colleague told IT about it and added me #to the 'task' explicitly writing 'please talk to [my name] if you have any further questions or want to discuss things as i am on vacation'#today i come back to this task reading a lovely comment by that dude who's responsible for solving the problem going #'i think it's best if we make an appointment to discuss this when you're back :)' bitch ill kill you #my boy doesn't even Use wordpress it's not even his fucking problem. he just was nice enough to summarize my complaints #so i added a comment too because i honestly can't work like this and want this to be Fixed asap #and if he wants to talk to [beloved colleague] first it's gonna take another 2 fucking weeks until anyone even considers the problem again #and i have no patience for this left at this point. so of course that bitch calls me when i was marked as 'absent' on teams #(did he fucking do that on purpose?? so he wouldn't actually have to talk to me? also. just Text me you fucking bitch)#and when i come back to it HE was absent so i couldn't call him back and also i won't wait for him to come back online so i can talk to him #because my work hours are Over for this week and he could very well just send me a message or add another comment if he has anything to say #but alas he didn't #i honestly am usually quite patient and understanding when it comes to fixing issues but this has been going on forever #and i wouldn't even say anything if it hadn't been for that stupid ass comment on how he wants to talk to [colleague] first. bitch!#(i just mentioned what the main issue was in my own comment btw. i didn't say anything about hurrying or any of the million #passive aggressive things i WANTED to say. very proud of myself for that ♡#had i been with that dude in person i would have killed him on sight)#god things are gonna be so insufferable when my beloved colleague is gone forever ㅠㅠ #he's the only good thing about this fucking company and I'm sure everything's gonna go down in flames #once he's gone #void screams #work stuff

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patheticpuppyboyslut · 3 months

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(not hornyposting just musing lol) so i’m a singer-songwriter and performer irl and i’m thinking about the fact that i go around on a day to day basis singing serious, professional songs that use dogs and brainwashing and cannibalism as painful heartbroken metaphors. and i’ve been doing this for years but little by little all these things i process my anguish through in songwriting, have also become how i satisfy my sex drive. and i don’t know what to do with that information i just think it’s wild!! fun fact abt me i guess. i go out there in public singing about how service is my fulfillment and calling myself a good boy and i sing about wanting to be violently torn apart and eaten and i’m like. yeah it’s a metaphor. yeah dw i’m really normal. i don’t fantasize about having my humanity stripped from me and being treated like a stupid sweet puppy barking and whining for my lovers sick and twisted pleasure what are you TALKING about. i just like the poetic imagery of it. i SWEAR.

#i just think it’s silly….#like no joke i’ve written five songs this school year and lets see #there’s one about being a ‘‘silly stupid angel’’ who’s degraded and abused and idealized and stripped of all dignity #(yes it’s a commentary on the patriarchy. yes it’s about the toxic relationship i was in at the time. it’s also several of my kinks in one)#there’s one called GOOD BOY about being a dog. whining and kicking up the dirt. growling and whimpering. being taken advantage of #ITS JUST A METAPHOR. obviously. i actually wasn’t into puppy play yet when i wrote that song iirc. guess it got to me….#then there’s the cannibalism one. i gave my soul up you can eat me raw diced up and vulnerable i’m yours to try #it’s a ummmm it’s just a commentary. (also about my toxic relationship. he didn’t want to fuck OR eat me. but somehow still used me)#anyway the other two are just normal one is about filtering myself for him and the other is about being oppressed and poor and angry lol #still though. the fact that over half my songs are literally my kinks turned into poetry. and NOBODY KNOWS #it’s not my fault that those things are on my mind ALL THE TIME. what am i supposed to write songs about if not being a stupid puppy??#i don’t think anyone on my kink blog ACTUALLY wants to hear about this but my kinks are secret so this is the only place i can post about i #hope u can get some sort of psychological insight about me?? or idk stalk me?? show up 2 my shows and kidnap and use me?? who said that #i’m not even like. wet rn i’m just on here as reflex. and i’m THINKING. abt my TWISTED MIND and the weird shit i write about #in an intellectual way. cause i’m not USING my KINK BLOG this week. cause i SAID SO cause i need to KEEP MY WITS ABOUT ME #so i’m gonna be so normal. and not touch myself even a little bit cause i need to sleep and i need to move house and i need to be so normal #unrelatedly: tomorrow i’ll be one month on testosterone!! definitely hasn’t awakened anything in me….#anyway. anyway. i’m going to try to go to bed. probably going to end up edging myself stupid instead though #will just have 2 see what happens…. god it would be a shame if someone came in and used my sleeping body. who said that

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lateseptemberdawn · 3 months

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Ngl bad parents give me such an ick like stay tf away from me ew

#this cousin of mine has twins #twin boys #and while i sort of understand why she is the way she is with them #i realy cant wrap my head completely around it #because well #its such blind idiot stupid fucking BAD behaviour especially for a mother was especially towards her children #especially when theyre twins and youre so blatantly partial the favoured one KNOWS hes favoured #like. she has absolutely ruined her second boy and absolutely cannot handle him and yet slaps him every chance she gets #doesnt listen to him refuses to indulge him even the least bit shows zero affection and ive been here three days and man can i see #that child is fucking parched for affection specifically from him mother because he is neglected #he knows he is neglected #he is scared shitless of her and acts out of his way to get any attention he can because that is the only time his mother will hold him #be it with sharp fingers and a hold that digs into his skin #theyre literally just 5 years old #the neglected child i a fucking dream come true. is already smart as FUCK #does anything you tell him to do RIGHT THAT SECOND #the only flaw is that he doesnt listen when anyone tells him not to do something which isnt even a flaw for fucks sake #thats a fucking child hes gonna ASK #and you shout at him and dont amswer him and when he keeps asking you hit him #my heart fucking cries man #the other one knows his mother favours him and despises his brother and that evil fucker (i know its not his fault) lies #and gets his brother hit and then fucking TEASES HIM ABOUT IT THREATENS HIM LATER ON LIKE I AM SO DISGUSTED #HOW MUCH OF AN AWFUL PARENT DO YOU HAVE TO BE FOR YOUR KIDS TO BE AWARE OF HOW TO MANIPULATE YOU AT THE AGE OF FUCKING FIVE #F I V E (5).#they. are. FIVE.#i seriously want to keep him to myself because she will ruin him #and whats more disgusting is when shes getting him to do stuff shes all like “baby do this” and the moment hes back and standing close she #pushes him away? looks at him disgusted? says “why do you bother me so much”??????#that is child is the most fucking neglected child ive ever seen and seriously man why does this happen and why do I HAVE TO WITNESS IT #the favoured one is pure evil and NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO HIM HES DUMB ASF CANT EVEN WRITE ONE WORD WITHOUT DYING DOES NOTHING DOESNT LISTEN

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ohbutwheresyourheart · 4 months

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second one of getting to last light inn. i am turned on by an old woman, scorned by a naked cat, and almost start a bar fight with a devil.

#bg3 #i have never wanted to kill a man so immediately sgfdhadsgh #get your fucking hands OFF her don't even LOOK at mol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i will rend him limb from limb i will shred him into parmesan cheese i will stick a dagger in his throat and LAUGH #immediately followed by me screaming at astarion bc BOY WHAT U DOIN FUCKIN STOP THAT #STOP THAT #I WILL LEARN INFERNAL MYSELF GOD DAMN IT #I WILL TAKE AN EVENING CORRESPONDENCE COURSE WHILE WE PURSUE THE ABSOLUTE #I WILL DO LITERALLY ANYTHING TO STOP YOU CHOOSING THIS INCREDIBLY STUPID COURSE OF ACTION #one step into act ii and. my tav is. going thru it.#herding these party members like recalcitrant kitty cats #only lae'zel has my back right now #it's me and lae'zel against the fucking world

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strwbrymlkshake · 6 months

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I am trying so hard but it still isn't ENOUGH FOR YOU? DON'T YOU SEE HOW HARD I'VE BEEN TRYING?

#mine #normally i've been good about not being too upset over things #but oh fucking boy. okay. im glad people are scared of me #i hope they know that im the only right one in the whole world and they are wrong and are justified for fearing me and im glad my existence #will turn them off from sharing their wrong opinions. but oh FUCKING BOY? ive been sitting here the whole time like oh they hate me #oh they hate me so much they want me to die wahhh and im trying to do all the things they like because im for some reason fucking bothered #by their other opinions. even though the people themselves are useless trash #and oh. like i was suspecting it but its finally confirmed huh??? you all cant fucking stand the sight of me because im right?#you dont understand the truth?? they hated him because he told them the truth? thats me as fuck rn dude #i am literally gracing your eyes with the content i make and basically hand feeding you the correct opinions to have #and yet you still reject them! people just love being stupid unfortunately. i want to kill them all.#i would be so much nicer if you all just agreed with me on the objective truth but unfortunate you have to be stupid #i have graced you with so many GIFTS and protected you from my wrath so many times but you do not even give a fuck #WHY AM I CRYING. YOU ARE ALL SO USELESS WHY AM I CRYING!!! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU DONT AGREE?#i guess im crying because they are all so stupid #so what im saying is its very unfortunate that everyone does not worship me and all my opinions and the world is very hard. yes.#friendship ended with self hatred now delusions of grandeur are my new best friend #even trhing to explain myself makes me sound like a shithead but i swear to fuck if you all just listened to me like youre supposed to #then absolutely nothing would ever go wrong! but you all had to be stupid on purpose! do you like being wrong? whats your problem #explaining all the reasons im RIGHT and yet i still feel bad for having the gall to do so. i shouldnt feel bad. im doing great. youre just #uncomfortable in the fact that YOURE wrong and making me have to accomodate you for your wrongness? tf is that about #okay lunatic rant over i have finished crying ☝️

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deadrlngers · 2 years

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me doing completely normal things vs. my mother telling me to not do them since i was 5 y/o bc "that's smth men do"

#rena.txt #well maybe i'm a girl i'm a boy i'm a squid in this giant aquarium called earth!!!!#and i'm talking about such normal things. when i was 5 she gave me shit bc i really liked a movie we had on videotape that in her opinion #was 'for boys'. it's crazy how some things of your childhood stick with u forever it's like i can still hear her say 'you shouldn't watch #that it's for boys'. it was a silly movie about robots or smth like that. and to this day she still gives me shit for my hair and says #they are too short. when i was 17 she said 'with hair like that you look like a boy. no man will ever want you' WHO TF CARES!!!!!#i've been dipping into randomly using he/him in italian for myself lately. he/she/whatever the fuck bc we don't have they in italian. yea #idk what's up with all of that and tbh i'm scared of a journey about discovering gender just as i was scared when i began discovering my #sexuality. like gun pointed at my head if you asked me to pick a pronouns i would tell u to pull the trigger. that's why i don't have any #on my profile/bio but the absence also makes me upset bc then i'm scared that ppl will just assume i use she/her and like. tbh i don't mind #any pronouns but the idea that someone would immediately pick she for me makes me sick. i don't feel like a woman i don't feel like a man i #feel like nothing at all but also much more than the stupid gender binary shit. idk i'm scared of calling myself nb i'm scared of discovery #ok i began crying after typing this i guess that i care about this more than i thought ops lmao

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lord-squiggletits · 1 year

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Like I'm not one of those story "critics" who will nitpick the smallest inconsistency and call it a plot hole that ruins the whole story. I'm okay with inconsistencies and even the occasional plot hole if it ends up producing a story that's interesting, gripping, and brings up interesting things.

The problem is that suspension of disbelief only stretches so far. And secondly, stuff like character drama and themes are only as strong as the plot that supports them. If the plot is full of contrivances, plot holes, and really stupid things that make it feel like the author is just forcing something to happen to move the story along, then the themes and character drama become much less convincing.

#squiggposting #anyways i do like problematic idw op and i do like it when he has enemies and ppl who don't trust him #but not when the plot to make ppl hate him is stupid as shit and barely makes any sense #or when optimus does something mildly dubious and people act like he personally tortured their families and then murdered them #or like when characters are oddly hostile to OP/the autobots but are perfectly fine working with far worse ppl #like how the humans were all 'fuck the autobots theyre evil' but were fine with helping the cons build a fucking base???#after the decepticons already killed 1 billion humans??? including soundwave who is one of their main liasons???#if the humans really didn't trust the decepticons then why didn't they just say 'fuck you you can't build a base in our solar system'#or like that stupid publicity plot point about how OP 'abandoned' jazz when like.#so you're telling me OP can't defend jazz for killing one. ONE cop in self defense #but it's not bad publicity for him to associate with soundwave who. let me repeat. was literally on the ground slaughtering humans in AHM #spike even knew about how that entire situation with the cop was a trap laid by megtron but somehow that never came up in the whole comic #it's just so dumb man like it feels sometimes more like its an IDW OP hate train and actual logic is secondary to making OP look like an as #also galvs being all like 'that's my boy' when OP annexed earth when galv is a racist boomer grandpa who kills organics for sports #i refuse to believe that guy would be impressed by anything less than OP personally murdering a human. not making them part of cybertron's #gov. you know? it's just silly #it's part of why i've been putting off rereading barber's comics because it was weird and contrived the first time #and i don't really want to put myself through rereading it again just to have to suffer through shitty plot again #so many things in that series couldve been genius if they were written in a plot that wasn't aggressively mid tier

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gorillaxyz · 4 months

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i dont like rbing murdoc fan art here bc i dont want anyone else to see him... well not really but its sometjing like that

#txt #I MISS HIM. HIS BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW. AND ALL I HAVE IS A HYPERFIXATION ON RICHARD MILHOUS NIXON #its not like i havent been thinking abt him though #i think abt how annoyed at me hed be for this. EVEN THOUGH HE HAS A FUCKING AMERICAN FLAG IN HIS WINNEBAGO #'oh its as a joke i fucking hate americans. so did you. youre no fun anymore'SHUT UP😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i love thinking abt how annoying hed be to me #PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO THE NIXON TAPES WITH ME.#i think hed be into nixons presidency but like not completely. only as an extension of his interest in the vietnam war #and hed love talking to me abt the cold war and stuff i think...#and id be like :( jfk... he wa sjust a good catholic boy... fuck #and hed laugh at me so much and make fun of me all the time #he loves the fact he was assassinated #murdoc #also i would post so much more abt murdoc but im fucking shy okay... i havent hsd this many followers on a blog in years #naybe i want to keep this to myself. because its cringe. and stupid...#even though it is my True Self #us presidents #i think hed find lbj really fucking funny #hed like ike though i think... mmm #maybe #just bc of his serving in ww2. and how significant he was #i think hed like talking aby the bay of pigs incident with me. and hed say stuff abt how he wishes ww3 started on my birthday 1962. because #hes horrible like that #he would hate the kennedys #hate is a strong word. hed 'hate' them. but only bc its funny #he doesnt like their (mostly jfks) chokehold on pop culture and stuff. and the amnt of people who love him #hes only loved so much bc he was assassinated... everyone loves a martyr #and hed be critical of the new frontier and stuff. i think hed actually be kind of interested in usamerican politics... but not the 'boring'#stuff #pipdoc

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gdkllr · 4 months

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sorry to post this picrew but it'sa me! over the years 🫶

#so i keep talking to doctors and they keep thinking i might have did 😭#ive been out here getting 2nd 3rd and 4th opinions and theyre all like ya buddy ur kinda fucked #this would get me cancelled on bere if i had more than -3 followers but thst is somethinf i Do Not Want #girl on the left is 14 and thinks all men are bad and scary #whos also like a shy horse girl and pretentious indie/vintage lover #that would be abby #boy in the middle thinks hes not a person hes an unloveable roly poly (idk why but thats the specific thing)#that would be elliot who is also probably smol bean identified. loves sunflowers tea etc. child #and rheres fucking me. too young to be a single dad #idk and idc the clinical label for it but those old parts of me do keep coming out and kicking my ass while i watch myself like a movie #if i have did i feel im almost lucky my “persecutors” are kids #its possible to reason with those parts of me by playing pokemon diamond or buying peanut brittle #anyway making these stupid ass ugly picrews did make me kinda emotional bc i tend to think those parts of me. uh. died #cause i cant remember being them (i know about them as rhough in the 3rd person)#but doctors keep being like hey buddy they are part of you and still here actually #which is a nice thought #dx aside

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