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27emailsicantsend · 2 years

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Chapter Six: Date Night

February

Ever since that day, the things I didn't say, they haunt me. And I know that I'm to blame, so go ahead and blame it on me. I know that I'm too late, but I'll say it anyway, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Though it's far too late. And it was me, it wasn't you. It's cliché, but it's true.

And if you ever hear this, I hope you know that I'm not proud of who I've been. And if I see you again, I hope you know that I wish you nothin' but the best. My biggest regret... I’m sorry.

-”i’m sorry”, Joshua Bassett

Ricky was ecstatic to finally have a Valentine’s Day with his girlfriend. Not one he had to hide or pretend around his feelings, but a true day with Gina. And funnily enough, Valentine’s Day was to hit the day before the Sweetheart’s Dance, so the weekend would be filled with extra time with Gina.

Unwillingly, Ricky's conversation with Zac seemed to live on virtual replay in his mind. Ricky re-watched High School Musical 3 about a dozen times trying to comprehend Troy’s decision after he graduated. Obviously because he loved Gabriella, but how did he know he wanted to do basketball and theater? How did he know what school offered both? How did he decide he wanted to go to school at all?

Ricky tried not to let this edginess effect him, but he definitely had his moments. He found himself staying at home after school more often, avoiding everyone including his friends. Mike and Jenn tried to intervene and help him, but he only pushed them away too. He even found himself pulling away from Gina. An upsetting consequence to everything overwhelming him in his world.

Ricky tried to make it clear to Gina that he wasn’t pulling away over anything she had done, but that he was overwhelmed with his own personal stress. His conversation with Zac and thoughts of the future made it difficult for Ricky to think about anything else when he was around others. He didn’t want to make the same mistakes he made with Nini, so he opted for some alone time until the dance. Gina was incredibly supportive and understanding, which only made Ricky miss her more by the time Valentine’s weekend rolled around. Although, he would have been remise if he didn’t see her at all, so he still tried to stop by for their nightly routine when he could. Gina didn’t poke or prod him too much about what was wrong, she would just let him read her their stories and remind him that she was there when or if he was ever ready to talk about it.

Then there was the play, which wasn’t helping Ricky mentally either. He tried to live up to his role as Phillip, but it just frustrated him more- knowing Phillip was Zac’s character and that Phillip, unsure about his life, seemed to have a magical opportunity put out in front of him. The constant frustration of everyone else knowing their identities seemed to creep into every part of Ricky’s life.

Ricky just wished for a lightbulb. A sign. Anything that would guide his choice, but he just felt stuck.

When Valentine’s Day finally came around, Ricky made sure too arrive to school early. He wanted this to be a special day for Gina, so he arranged with the front office to have 6 random boxes of chocolates show up to each one of her classes from “anonymous”. Ricky also attached a note to each box giving Gina a clue where to meet him after school for their surprise Valentine’s date.

After stopping by the office, Ricky opened up his locked to a surprise. A large amount of red, pink, and white confetti fell out. Behind the confetti, on the top shelf, was a book made of brown leather and handbound with twine. It could only be the work of Gina, Ricky concluded to himself.

Ricky grabbed the book, examining the cover. It had an emblem sewn into the front: a gold ring and in the center of it were the initials “R&G”. Ricky’s fingers slowly brushed over the handsewn bumps, taking in every detail. After a few moments admiring the details, Ricky slowly opened the book up to the first page. The pages were made of crinkled brown paper and the first one displayed a polaroid sitting centered in the middle. It was a photo of Ricky and Gina the night of Thanksgiving two years ago at Ashlyn’s house, Gina holding a gluten-free turkey cupcake and Ricky wearing his hat. They looked elated to be in each others company, smiles stretching from ear to ear. Underneath was a “R+G” written in gold writing and Thanksgiving themed stickers splattered the page.

Ricky flipped to the next page, which displayed another photo of Gina and Ricky. This time, they were standing with their castmates. Ricky recognized it as the night the group performed the first High School Musical. This page was now surrounded by Christmas trees and fairy light stickers.

When Ricky got to the next page, he was greeted with snowflakes and “Happy New Years!” stickers placed eagerly around a jaggedly cut photo. The picture displayed Gina and Ricky, waiting on stage for the auditions of Beauty and the Beast to start.

Ricky turned page after page, each one a new month and another picture of Ricky and Gina. Waves of memories, holiday stickers, and flashbacks of Gina came at an overwhelming rate. Each crinkled paper filled with times forgotten and accounts of Ricky and Gina. All of the photos had something to do with the pair, even if they were only by each other unknowingly.

“It’s our story,” Ricky heard Gina coo behind him.

“Gi... it’s... beautiful,” Ricky couldn’t find the words to say (again), but he knew he was in awe at this beautiful thing she made him.

“In every picture, either I was by you or you were by me... even if it was coincidental,” Gina said as she took a step in front of him. Her words caught Ricky off guard. He wondered how she knew what he was thinking?

He continued to examine the book as he listened to Gina finish her sentiment, “We never left each other’s side, even if it felt like it at times”.

This was the sentence that caused Ricky to finally look up at her.

Gina was in a dark blush sweater, french-tucked into some ripped skinny jeans. Her pink converse paired nicely with her sweater. Her hair was in it’s tight curls, two large light pink barrettes holding back one side. Ricky was in awe at how she could get prettier day by day. How someone like Gina Porter not only chose him once in a Hollywood Theater, but every day after that.

“Ricky,” Gina placed her hand on the book as she talked, “there are pages in the end so we can keep adding to our story. It’s not over yet”.

Gina then pushed the book down and placed her lips softly onto Ricky’s. He kissed her back and at first it was full of warmth and enjoyment of this moment with her. However, Ricky hadn’t resolved everything he needed to over his two weeks. This caused an aching feeling to creep inside of him, which he tried his hardest to push down. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew what was bothering him. All he wanted to feel what Gina was trying to give him: reassurance, but instead he felt flustered and worried.

What if we’re like every other couple? Ricky thought as he continued to kiss Gina. What if we break up too?

Cutting off Ricky’s thoughts was a loud bell that rang for class. Gina backed off of the kiss, looking at Ricky observantly. Ricky stared back at her, as he closed the book and held it close to him.

“Thank you, Gina. This was... wonderful. I mean it,” Ricky sputtered out.

Ricky’s intention was genuine, but he knew it didn’t sound that way. Gina nodded her head in understanding and walked off to class. He couldn’t tell if she was upset or not, but he was sure that was not the way she wanted it to go. Feeling slightly defeated, Ricky placed the book back on the top shelf of his locker. He then kissed his hand and patted the book before closing the door again.

Later that day, Ricky was waiting at the coffee shop where he and Gina went after school in September. He hoped that what he had planned would make up for the awkward conversation he had with Gina earlier. He wanted to make this night one to remember, so he decided to shake off what happened earlier and move forward in his plans.

Gina might not have even noticed, Ricky comforted himself.

Being back in the coffee shop was another wave of past year memories he wasn’t expecting to have. He thought about how many fans Gina and he once had to dodge, all of the rumors and secrets. Once the movie stopped filming, fans began appearing less and less in random places. Tabloids began to leave Ricky and Gina alone (this also could be with the dissolve of Dani) and Ricky felt free to date Gina in public without worry. Ricky was even able to set up an entire table for his night with Gina, before one person recognized him and asked for a photo, leaving immediately after.

The table Ricky set up had a white tablecloth draped over it with red rose petals scattered on top. A bouquet of red roses laid over the spot where Gina was to sit, across from Ricky. At each of their seats was an iced latte (for Gina) and a cappuccino (for Ricky), as well as a gluten-free coffee cake that stood tall in the center of the table.

Ricky had finished setting the table about twenty minutes before Gina arrived. When the time came for Gina to appear, Ricky anxiously played games on his phone while he waited. About five minutes into his games, he heard a bell chime on the door. Gina walked in, her outfit still the same. A stark contrast from Ricky’s outfit. Ricky wanted to make the evening special, so he changed into a black suit jacket and pants, a white button-up over halfway buttoned.

When Ricky caught his first glimpse of Gina, he nearly spilled his drink. He had tried to stand up too quick and hit the disposable cup a little too hard, having to catch it quick before it fell. He jolted quickly to the other side of the table, pulling out Gina’s chair before she sat down. Once she was positioned, Ricky pushed her chair in before carefully placing the bouquet of roses in her arms. Noticing the shock overcoming Gina’s face, Ricky kissed Gina’s forehead nervously before sitting back down in his chair.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Gina,” Ricky said timidly.

“Ricky... you did all of this?” Gina gawked, ruminating over the items on the table.

Maybe the shock was anger? Ricky backtracked, wondering if Gina possibly didn’t like all of the attention. But he quickly came to his senses. Gina? Not liking attention? That can’t be it.

“Are you... mad?” Ricky asked hesitantly. He had no idea what Gina was thinking or how she was going to react. Most of the time he felt in sync with her, but she was still Gina. She wouldn’t be herself if she wasn’t keeping Ricky somewhat on his toes.

“No, not at all”. Gina’s mouth curved up slowly, eventually showing elation. “This is the most wonderful... nicest thing anyone has ever done for me... ever”.

Ricky thought back to the time he helped Gina ask EJ to Camp Prom- how much work, effort, and hours the two put in to make the night special. Of course, this was just before EJ shattered her world. Ricky still wasn’t ready to forgive him for that, even though Gina had made attempts to coax him in that direction. Ricky wondered if maybe this really was the first time someone did something truly special for her.

“I go big, Gina. You know that,” Ricky smirked playfully.

Gina looked around the table some more, her face suddenly started to drop again. Her eyes stiffened in a way that was only meant to hold back tears, as she observed every object. Ricky noted there wasn’t much to look at on the table, so he was confused why she still wasn’t really talking.

“There’s something else,” Ricky probed, watching Gina stare at the table for a few more seconds. She ran her fingers over thoughtfully over one of the petals. She did this a couple of times before looking up at Ricky. Her face changed from sad, to looking like she had just made a massive breakthrough. Which, Ricky couldn’t help but notice, to her credit she did.

“The chocolates? You sent them to me?” Gina asked, her eyes still glowing with some repressed tears.

“Yes, the ones for the scavenger hunt?” Ricky responded, not following Gina’s cues.

“No... the chocolates last year, on Valentine’s Day. Ricky, you sent them to me,” Gina concluded, finally connecting the dots.

Even though Gina wasn’t asking if he did what she suspected of him, Ricky shyly confirmed, “Y-yeah. I did.”

“And you lied to me about it?” Gina prodded.

Now Ricky began to panic- he knew how much she hated liars. And he was caught for his crime an entire year later. It took EJ less than a week for Gina to leave him for lying. Ricky knew there was no way he was recovering from this.

“I-I’m so sorry Gina. Everything was so weird back then with Nini and you were upset about your mom- I was helping your mom because I wanted to help you. I regret not signing the card, not telling you it was me. I tried to tell you during camp, but then you were with EJ. It was like we never got our timing right. I’m so, so sorry,” Ricky begged as he braced for impact from Gina behind the table.

But then, something unexpected happened. A single tear ran down Gina’s face before she placed the roses in front of her and walked over to Ricky. When she reached him, she crouched down and gently kissed his cheek.

Then Gina whispered one more thing to him.

“I lied. That was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I guess you can consider us both liars now,” Gina said with a breathy laugh. Gina sure knew how to keep Ricky on his toes.

After Ricky and Gina finished their food, Ricky led Gina outside with his hands over her eyes. The snow was falling quick, preparing for yet another storm to come the next night. When Ricky pulled his hands off Gina’s eyes, she was able to see a horse drawn carriage, ready to take them around a park nearby. Gina gasped, apparently not able to express her joy in words. She hauled her arms around Ricky, squeezing him so tight it hurt his arms. He didn’t care.

Ricky ended up looking down during the embrace and noticed Gina was still in her pink converse. He looked around at the piles of snow beginning to form, some looking a little slushy where the carriage was parked. He scooped Gina up in his arms as she let out a giggly shriek, and then proceeded to carry her to the carriage.

The rest of the night was filled with small talk, a heavy blanket and cuddling to keep warm, and snow piling in hair. Ricky thought about how they might get sick from being outside in this weather, before his attention was distracted by Gina. She looked like a snow angel in the winter wonderland enfolding them. She was so close to him and yet, seemingly untouchable as she took in the sights around her. The view was perfect.

The next day, before the Sweetheart’s Dance, Jet came over to play video games with Ricky. They needed something to do while they waited for dinner and the dance that night, since Gina and Kourtney were getting ready for dinner. After hearing a knock on his door, Ricky let Jet in, who was shivering and covered in snow.

“Dude, this weather is getting out of hand,” Jet said, brushing the snow off of his coat.

“I know. I think the dance is still happening tonight though,” Ricky added, grabbing a couple of root beers from the fridge. He tossed one to Jet, who had made himself comfortable on the couch. His legs were propped across it, so his head could turn and face Ricky in the kitchen.

“Good, I’m glad. This is the first dance Kourtney and I have been able to go to as a couple after all of that ‘secret dating’ business. I’m bummed she is going to be gone next year though,” Jet reflected.

Ricky didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to think about next year or any of the problems that could come with it. He resonated with Jet on one matter though- after a long time in hiding, it was nice going to the dance with Gina publicly.

“She just has her whole life planned out it seems like,” Jet continued as Ricky grew more tense. Ricky wondered why Jet wouldn’t drop the subject, especially if he wasn’t responding. “Did you know she has already applied to music school in California? Close to Nini? There’s no way she won’t get in”.

Ricky could feel the worry flood through him, his heart beginning to pump heavy in his chest. Of course Kourtney has it figured out, Ricky ruminated. They all do! Why am I the only one that seems out of the loop in this next step of life ordeal?

“And like, that means we’re going to be separated, but maybe it isn’t a bad thing. Did I tell you the documentary during camp caught me singing a song I wrote? They’ve been debating sending me to California, but my mom wants me to graduate-”

“Can we just not talk about this?!” Ricky finally snapped.

Jet looked taken aback, but not scared. Ricky knew Jet was probably used to the attitude he got when he was stressed. Flashbacks of the night of Color Wars ran through Ricky’s mind as he remembered Jet's unsubtle reactions to Ricky’s tears.

“Is this about Gina?” Jet asked, in the same condescending tone from that night. He adjusted himself so he was now kneeling on the couch. He was giving Ricky a scary, parental glare. Now it was really feeling like the night of Color Wars.

“Kind of- look. Whether it is or isn’t, I just don’t want to talk about it,” Ricky insisted.

Ricky tried to brighten his tone as he suggested a new topic. “Weren’t you here to play Halo, not worry about our futures, any way?”

“I can’t believe you still can’t admit to me when you’re upset. Feelings aren’t scary, Ricky!” Jet pushed.

And there Jet did it again. He said exactly what Ricky has been fighting so hard to admit. This time, he conceded.

“I-I’m just... I don’t know what to make of my life.... after...” Ricky stumbled, scratching the side of his neck.

“You graduate?” Jet finished his sentence.

“Yeah, after I graduate”, Ricky echoed back, dropping his arm.

“Have you even applied to any schools?” Jet asked, concerned. He looked like a miniature Ricky, doing the eyebrow thing Ricky does. It was a little frightening for Ricky to see, really.

“No...” Ricky looked down sheepishly.

“How have you not applied to any schools, Ricky?! Applications for fall semester are usually closed by next month!” Jet scolded.

“Ok, dad,” Ricky responded sarcastically. “I don’t even know if...”

He couldn’t say it. The sentence was too difficult to muster out.

Jet knew, though. College was just assumed for everyone, but maybe it wasn’t for everyone. It wasn’t a thought Ricky fed into a lot, but it definitely crossed his mind from time to time. The tension kept Ricky paralyzed in his spot, unable to break eye contact with Jet.

Jet eased up, lowering his body so he seemed less threatening. “We don’t need to talk about it anymore, Ricky”. Ricky felt a wave of relief as he listened to Jet add one last thought. “But, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make a decision. Waiting it out might feel like the best thing right now, but it could be to your detriment. Make a decision and if it’s the wrong one, you’ll know”.

Gina’s voice echoed through Ricky’s head: I never do things right the first time, Ricky.

Maybe he didn’t either.

Later that night, after a rousing several rounds of Halo, Mario Kart, and Mario: Super Smash Bros, Ricky and Jet got ready for the dance. Ricky wore his same suit from the night before, but buttoned up his shirt all of the way, adding a blush pink tie, and topping off the look with his black converse. Gina and he promised to wear their matching pairs tonight. Jet was wearing a black suit, polished leather shoes, and a red and black striped tie.

At about five that night, the boys got in Ricky’s car and drove over to Gina’s house. They had to leave a few minutes early, because the snow was starting to come down harder and Ricky wanted to drive safe. When they got to Gina’s two-story house, they knocked on the door and were welcomed by Ms. Porter and Mr. and Mrs. Greene. Mr. Greene seemed to keep giving Jet a side eye as they waited for the girls to come down the stairs, but Ms. Porter was all talk with Ricky.

While Ms. Porter was giving Ricky a run-down of how to put the corsage on Gina (which seemed easy enough, but Ricky was polite enough not to stop her), he heard Kourtney and Gina scream “you ready?” from upstairs.

“Yes!” The group yelled in sync, an nervous energy flooding the room.

Kourtney walked out first, waving at the group over the balcony that hung above the stairs. She was in a short red dress, that had bowtie straps and layers of tulle at the bottom. Her hair was in large, loose braids around her head, little red hearts scattered throughout her light brown curls. Ricky could feel Jet shaking next to him, until Ricky realized he was also shaking just as much- if not more.

She walked out next, a long pink satin dress, with a large slit up the side revealing her light pink converse. One of Ricky’s favorite things about Gina was her ears lined in jewelry, but this time the rows of earrings led down to a long, silver, dangling pair. She was showered in sparkles, from her earrings to her dress. It was like every movement Gina took reflected off of her. Her hair was in tight waves, pulled back in a loose pony tail, with some extra hairs framing her face. She looked ethereal.

Ricky felt a lump form in his throat, his stomach turn to liquid and his cheeks go ablaze. The room suddenly began to tilt on it’s side. Adrenaline found it’s way into Ricky’s veins as he marveled at Gina. Gina was always beautiful, but in this moment she had somehow transcended that. His eyes felt glued to her as he watched her make her way to the banister, smile at the group, and then gracefully walk down the stairs.

Ricky remembered meeting all of the celebrities for High School Musical. How everyone awed and gawked at their almost intangible presence. He remembered wondering how someone could seem to lose all sense of being a rational human around another human. But now he knew what it was like to be star struck. This glowing, amazing feeling Ricky got when he was with her began to happen all over again. The feeling he never wanted to end. It had somehow made it impossible for Ricky to look away; he was drawn to every subtle movement she made.

“Hey,” Gina said softly, tilting her head sweetly at him.

“H-hey. I-I got this,” he stammered, holding up the corsage awkwardly in it’s box, “for you”.

Gina giggled as she watched Ricky fumble his attempt at opening the box. The flower almost took a tumble to the ground, but his reflexes were fast enough to catch it. That was about as graceful as it got for Ricky however, because the rest of his attempt was anything but smooth. He searched every path his mind had for information on how to put it on. He remembered Ms. Porter giving him advice, but the recalling the contents of that advice proved to be futile.

Now how?... Ricky thought, trying to slide the corsage on Gina’s wrist, while also trying desperately not to crush every petal. Like this?

“Like that,” Gina affirmed Ricky’s thought once the bracelet was on her wrist.

Gina grabbed a small box from her entrance table. It held a pink boutonniere that was sprayed in sparkles, some small white buds decorating it. She stepped inches from Ricky’s face to pin the small flower to his jacket. After she finished placing the flower, she held Ricky’s jacket hems and gave him a soft peck on the cheek, whispering “thank you” in his ear.

Gina began to pull away when Ricky grabbed her arm, “wait”. She paused, her eyes flicking back and forth as she observed his features. “You look so beautiful. I am so lucky”.

Ricky couldn’t help but shake his head in disbelief that Gina Porter was his girlfriend. It felt like a dream he never wanted to wake up from. She looked at his toes, her cheeks turning scarlet. Ricky lovingly wrapped his arms around her until the couples were called to the living room to take pictures. Gina enthusiastically grabbed Ricky’s hand and led him there.

After about 20 minutes of nonstop photos, the couples begged their parents to surrender them so they could go to dinner. The parents obliged before Ms. Porter reminded Gina to bring a pair of boots with her in case the snow gets too deep. Ricky helped Gina put her coat on before she grabbed her boots. He then held the front door open for the other three (Jet gave him an extra loving “thank you”), before holding the car door for just Gina.

The entire theater group decided to meet up for dinner before the dance. Ricky was ecstatic to spend time with his chosen family; even Red decided to join the group with his date, Kaleb (the backup dancer who worked at Slices with him). The conversation remained pretty fun and light-hearted, until Kourtney announced to the group that she put in her application for school in California.

“That’s got to be hard for you, Jet,” Seb chimed in, his mouth full of pepperoni pizza.

“It’ll be ok. We’re still working things out,” Jet sounded like he was lying through his teeth.

“How about you, Ricky? Any decisions yet?” Carlos asked, dabbing some grease off of Seb’s chin.

“On what?” Ricky was pretending not to listen, in the hopes no one would ask him about the subject. His efforts failed.

“School silly!” Ashlyn chirped; Maddox staring intently at her new girlfriend.

“I- uh....I....”

“He’s not sure where he wants to go. There’s just so many choices,” Gina rescued Ricky, wearing a concerned look that matched her tone. She looked over at Ricky nervously and all he could give back was a shoulder shrug. No one else seemed to notice this interaction.

Ricky thought that was the end of the conversation that night, until he and Gina were slow dancing to “Everything” by Michael Bublé. Gina and he were swaying to the music, resting their heads on each others’ shoulders. They were each holding a hand with their other hands resting on the others’ waist. Ricky was singing the lyrics softly in Gina’s ear as she listened.

“Ricky?” Gina spoke a little over halfway through the song, interrupting Ricky’s delicate lullaby.

“Yeah?” he replied, perking up his head.

“Have you decided? What you’ll be doing after school ends?”

“I don’t know,” Ricky said, growing uncomfortable. He wanted Gina to change the subject, but she seemed insistent.

“Ricky, you’ve got to figure this out. We don’t have much time left together”.

Ricky never alluded to that last part... Gina came up with that on her own.

“What do you mean by that?” Ricky pulled his head away, now looking right at Gina’s inescapable brown eyes.

“I mean, I know what you’re going to choose. And it isn’t me”.

“Gina, when we gave each other our promise rings, I promised to choose you,” Ricky insisted.

“But if you stay in Salt Lake, that’s not going to work!” Gina’s tone moved up a decibel. Ricky could see a couple people that were dancing nearby turn their heads.

“Hey, can we not do this here?” Ricky begged, just wanting to enjoy the night with Gina. “C’mon, Gi. This is our first dance together. Can we just have fun and talk about it later?”

Gina seemed upset, but she obliged. The two came together to dance again, not finishing the subject matter. Ricky held Gina closer for the last part of the song, his hand that was on her waist now comforting her by caressing the high part of her back.

As much as Ricky wanted to not think about his future, the fact that it had already been brought up three times in one day made him feel a lot of pressure to think about it. He tried to have fun with Gina and not show his mind was slightly preoccupied for the rest of the dance. He wasn’t sure if she noticed, but she did a great job hiding it if she did.

Ricky couldn’t stop thinking about Gina saying “that’s not going to work”. He wondered what wouldn’t work? The two of them doing long distance? He did it just fine with Nini.... well maybe that wasn’t true, but he justified that he and Gina would be adults. Besides that, if he stays in Salt Lake, then he will be with Gina for a year before she goes off to school. That would give him plenty of time to settle in with Jenn being his new step mom, start college, and spend time with the one he cares about most. Then, when Gina goes off to New York, they could do long distance for a few years until he graduates.

Ricky also thought about going to school in New York, but how would he get in? His grades slipped miserably during his parents divorce and the schools Gina are looking at are probably schools like Julliard. He would never get into one of those. He doubted he would even get into a school with a high acceptance rate in New York. It just seemed like too much of a risk for an uncertain outcome.

Ricky only knew that one option was certain: he was not letting Gina give up on her dream of going to New York. She had worked far too hard to get to this point and not get recognized. Luckily, she seemed to be in the same boat as Ricky about this idea.

The more Ricky thought about it, the more he felt settled on staying in Salt Lake and going to Salt Lake Community College. He wasn’t sure in what field yet, but the rest of the plan made sense. He concluded that he could take some generals during his first year. He would get to be around Mike, Jenn, his friends, and Gina. Yes, this was the plan. He was determined to make it work. He concluded that there was no way Gina would say no to it- everybody wins! The burden of making a decision was finally gone.

Once Ricky made his decision, the rest of the dance helped the night be one he would remember. He danced his heart out with his friends and Gina, savoring every moment. He even made a joke about meeting Gina at coat check. happily this time, before helping her put on her coat again.

After the dance ended, the couple decided to spend some time at Ricky’s house before Gina went home. The snow was coming down the heaviest it had been in two days, but Ricky insisted that Gina come over because he secretly wanted to lay out his new plans with her. She obliged happily, so the pair said goodbye to their friends and made their way over to Ricky’s.

Ricky and Gina walked in the front door to the house. All of the lights were off, so Ricky assumed Mike and Jenn were out on a date. He was happy to know he would get to have this conversation alone with Gina before anyone else learned about his future arrangements.

“That was one of the best nights of my life, Ricky,” Gina said, kicking off her snow-soaked converse. She had taken her boots in with her, throwing them down next to Ricky’s converse he had added to the pile.

“Me too. Thank you for being the best date. Cider?” Ricky offered.

“Of course,” Gina said, some playful sass in her voice.

Ricky grabbed a couple of Mike’s champagne flutes and poured the cold sparkling cider in them. He flopped on the couch next to Gina, his arm propped around her shoulders before they clinked glasses.

“Cheers, to the best dance date and girlfriend in the world”.

“Cheers to that!” Gina clinked Ricky’s glass heartily.

He pulled his flute back quickly. “Hey!” He jested. “This calls for payback”.

“No!” she shrieked happily as Ricky took the flutes out of their hands, placed them both on the coffee table, and then tickled Gina’s sides mercilessly.

When Gina began to laugh so hard she couldn’t breathe, she sputtered out, “ok! ok! You’re the best boyfriend in the world!” Ricky kept tickling her. “And date!”

Ricky surrendered his hands with a gleeful smile on his face.

Sitting back up, pleased he won the tickle battle, Ricky placed his arm back around Gina and grabbed his cider to drink again.

“Well, guess what your best boyfriend decided tonight?” Ricky hinted, a little smug. He took another sip of his drink and gave a breathy “ah”.

“What?” Gina asked, her mouth still pulled up from ear to ear.

“I, Ricky Bowen, have come up with the perfect plan for us after I graduate. I know what I’m going to do!”

“What do you mean?” She asked, seemingly perplexed that such a plan could exist.

“I mean I am going to stay in Salt Lake- with you! I’ll go to community college here and get my generals while getting to be with my dad, Jenn... and you. It’ll be perfect”.

“Your generals?” Gina didn’t seem convinced. In fact, she didn’t seem happy at all about the news.

“Yes, my generals. What’s up? You don’t seem to be sharing my excitement. I thought you’d be thrilled I’m staying?” Something seemed off to Ricky. The entire conversation was starting to put him on edge.

“Well... Ricky, I’m so happy you want to be with Mike and Jenn, but do you even know if the local college offers the classes you want? Do you even know what you want to go into for your degree?”

“Well, I don’t know what I want to do, but that’s the best part! It gives me, you- everyone more time”.

“Ricky,” Gina began. Ricky knew panic was definitely settling in... but it was as if the panic was shared between the two of them.

Why is Gina acting so nervous? Ricky questioned to himself.

“We don’t have time,” Gina finished her original sentence.

“Well, I know that I have to apply and everything before the deadline, but these colleges are really good about taking last minute applicants-” Ricky justified.

“No, Ricky. Listen to me, please,” Gina begged, cutting him off. Something was definitely wrong.

Gina moved Ricky’s flute back to the coffee table and held Ricky’s hands softly in his lap. Tears began to fall down her face in a steady stream. Even when crying, she still looked stunning to Ricky.

“You’re the first person to know and that’s how I want this to be, but Krystal wasn’t just a choreographer from the movie. She was a talent scout for Julliard as well. I mentioned New York for after I graduate school... because it will be when you graduate too. They want me to graduate a year early”.

“And miss your senior year? Gina, don’t you think they’re asking too much?” Ricky worried, his protective side appearing easily for Gina.

Gina tensed, but she didn’t seem mad.

“No- I don’t know. All I know is this more than I could have ever dreamed of. Ricky, if I make it as a dancer... in Julliard... do you know the opportunities I could get? I could do dance on TV, Broadway, private school... anything. This is huge for me,” she explained sincerely. Ricky could hear the passion in her words, see the anticipation on her face. Gina’s road in life had always been clear, but now it was paved for her.

Ricky held Gina’s hands a little tighter. “I just want you to be happy. We can do long distance. We’ll make this work”.

Gina looked away for a few seconds before answering. “Isn’t that what you did with Nini? And look at where that ended up”.

Ricky was only hurt because it was true. But something was different with Gina than it was with Nini. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he knew their ending would be different. It was the warm feeling he had been trying to place for months now. This same feeling intuitively promised that long distance would work if they tried hard enough.

“I... I just don’t think that’s the case,” Ricky’s words struggled out as he tried to defend his case. He didn’t know how else to explain it to Gina.

“Ricky, we don’t know that. It’s not just a ‘trope’ that couples break up when they try to do long distance or go to separate colleges. Even some of the strongest ones fall apart,” Gina persisted.

“But they’re not us, Gi. We’re different”.

“Different how?”

Ricky’s ability to formulate a sentence seemed like a cakewalk compared to now. He had no idea how articulate his thoughts. It was like every word Ricky ever knew had shambled into alphabet soup. He was grasping for letters, words, and sentences but couldn’t structure his thoughts.

Ricky let go of Gina’s hands to rub his temples. Now he felt water forming in his eyes.

“We just are!” Ricky stood up, unable to contain the energy pulsing through him. “Don’t you see, Gina? We will make this work”.

“Ricky, I don’t know how. I’m trying to be realistic here. It’s why I didn’t keep going after you the first time I moved. I knew we wouldn’t have been able to keep up with the chaos my life has always brought me... I’ve just seen so many of my friendships fall apart once I move. And watching you and Nini... I want us to be on good terms,” Gina shut her eyes tight as she said her last sentence.

Ricky was pacing but it had paused. His back was turned to Gina. He couldn’t bare to look at her because he knew what she was saying. “You mean, you want us to end on good terms?”

Ricky stopped trying to hide his frustration, which led to large pockets of water falling down his face. Falling down both of their faces.

“... I don’t want to... at all.... and we don’t have to now... but if it’s going to end that way, maybe... we wait...?” Gina sputtered out.

“Wait for what? To inevitably break up apparently?” Ricky turned to face Gina. His brain was attempting to pound it’s way out of his head and his jaw somehow became permanently locked. His feelings were bouncing back and forth between upset, sadness, anger, and confusion.

“No, I mean after we graduate. Maybe we can be like those characters in Serendipity that were always meant to come back, to find each other? Our promise rings, remember?” Gina held her hand up, the ring glimmering on her pinky finger.

“No. Because I promised I would always be around for you and now you’re promising to maybe, hopefully be around ‘if the day comes��?” Ricky took his ring off and handed it to Gina. She began to weep harder as she looked at it in her hand. “Gina, we promised each other we would make this work no matter what. If you can’t keep that promise, I don’t know what else to do”.

“Is this really what you want? To break up with me?” Gina asked, her eyes flickering back and forth between his.

Ricky felt confused.... it seemed like that’s what Gina wanted so why did everything feel so turned around?

“No. I don’t know! It seems like you think it will happen regardless. So I don’t know why we’re going to keep seeing each other if you believe it’s going to end”.

“Ricky, that’s not what I’m doing! I just want to know if Salt Lake is what you truly want. Because if it’s long distance- I’m sorry, that’s not going to work for me! I want to be with you, but you need to decide. Not because of me, but because of what you truly want”.

“I thought I knew until this got thrown in. Now I don’t know anymore, because New York sure doesn’t want me. Maybe I just want some space,” Ricky snapped.

Gina clenched her fingers tight around the rings. She walked over to the door and put her coat on before jamming her feet upsettingly into her boots. Ricky followed her over, wanting to ask her to stay. Ask her to figure things out. Change her mind. But he couldn’t find the words.

Gina stood up and looked at Ricky, the tears now subsided.

“I’m going home. When you decide what you want, let me know,” Gina remarked, keeping her voice surprisingly steady. She swung the door open to leave, just to be met by a giant gust of cold air and snow blowing in.

“Gina,” Ricky paused her, holding her arm. Every instinct was telling himself to stop her, but somehow he couldn’t. His heart was hurting too much. “Let me at least take you home. It’s freezing outside”.

“Ok,” Gina said, her face swollen from crying.

Ricky ran to his room and threw on his own boots, a few moments later escorting her to his car.

The car ride was dreadfully awkward and silent. He hated fighting with Gina. He couldn’t help but think about this time last year when he and Gina were trying to get out of a different rough patch. His system felt overloaded with Déjà vu, even after he dropped her off. Neither of them said good bye to each other.

Ricky tried to open his front door once he got home, but it got caught on something pink. Ricky took a closer look, only to feel his heart fall about 1000 feet in his chest. Gina’s converse. He picked the shoe up and set it to the side carefully, before running to his room where he would spend the rest of the night regretting every sentence that was still lingering in his living room walls.

**********************************************

The rest of the month was absolutely brutal for Ricky. He wanted so badly to right whatever wrong he created, yet he couldn’t convince himself he was in the wrong. All Ricky did in his decision making process was try to make a plan that worked for Gina so he could be with her. Now it seemed like she was ready to throw it all away and go to the other side of the country. He was willing to do anything- even long distance to make it work- and it still seemed to be not enough.

What came next was even more painful. Gina and he stopped talking to each other outside of rehearsals. When Ricky broke up with Nini, it was clear cut. A line in the sand. However, this felt different and ten times more painful, because nothing seemed like a hard and fast rule. He didn’t know if he and Gina were even separated after their conversation and he didn’t know how long they wouldn’t talk. Every time Gina saw him in class she would sit on the other side of the room. If they saw each other in the hall, she would walk away.

One time, Ricky even tried to return Gina’s shoes to her. They had been tormenting him nonstop. He never moved them from his front doorstep, so every time he walked in, that was what he saw. Every time he left the house, pink haunted him from behind. It was a nightmare that didn’t seem to end. He finally reached a breaking point and told Gina at school he needed to talk to her. It couldn’t wait. He tried to tell her if she was really done, he needed to return something to her, but she cut him off before he could finish his sentence. She stated that, “everything else in our lives seems to be on pause right now, so this can be too,” and then walked away. This was a scene that had been on loop in Ricky’s head ever since it happened.

Mike tried to ask Ricky a couple of times where Gina had been and why she hadn’t been over, but Ricky asked Mike to drop the subject. It wasn’t that his dad and him weren’t getting along, but Mike was beginning to get a little pushy... on all fronts. Mike was frustrated Ricky hadn’t picked what he was doing after senior year (he made it extra clear Ricky would not be “freeloading” off of him by living at home rent free), that he wouldn’t open up about the situation with Gina, and that Ricky seemed to be of no help wedding planning either. Most of the time, Ricky would just leave the house and go skateboarding at the skatepark. It was the only thing that seemed to clear his head lately, a specialization that once belonged to Gina.

With Gina so set on Julliard and so set on avoiding Ricky, he began to believe they were really over. She announced her decision to leave to New York to the theater crew about a week after she told Ricky. Everyone, except for Carlos who met her with a “see you there!”, were upset she was leaving again. Supportive, but upset. She brought a light to the theater department that was irreplaceable, even when it was dimmed in Ricky’s world.

By far, the most excruciating part of the separation was having to play Phillip and Anne for The Greatest Showman. Not because they had to act out a hopeless romance, but because it was real. Ricky finally understood what Zac was saying about “not being as apart from his character as it seemed”. The realization hit the first day Ricky and Gina did a full run-through of “Rewrite the Stars”.

Words were hard for Ricky to grasp, but music never was.

Every line felt like one more crushing reminder of what isn’t happening but what could be between Gina and Ricky.

Ricky wondered why Gina was so insistent long distance wouldn’t work between the two of them. He knew that if they tried, they could make long distance or anything else work. The thoughts of the night they separated ruminated in his head as he sang:

You know I want you It's not a secret I try to hide You know you want me So don't keep saying our hands are tied You claim it's not in the cards And fate is pulling you miles away And out of a reach from me But you're hearing my heart So who can stop me if I decide it's on my destiny?

What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine Nothing could keep us apart You'll be the one I was meant to find It's up to you, and it's up to me No one could say what we get to be So why don't we rewrite the stars? And maybe the world could be ours, tonight

Ricky was surprised, however, to see how much Gina was acting out her part as Anne. He knew the song was a “two worlds that should be meeting, aren’t” piece, which would evoke some painful emotion, but what happened next- he wasn’t prepared for. He watched Gina choke out the second verse and chorus, tears streaming down her face like the night they split, as she sang:

You think it's easy You think I don't wanna run to you But there are mountains And there are doors that we can't walk through I know you're wondering why Because we're able to be just you and me within these walls But when we go outside You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all

No one can rewrite the stars How can you say you'll be mine? Everything keeps us apart And I'm not the one you were meant to find It's not up to you, it's not up to me When everyone tells us what we can be And how can we rewrite the stars? Say that the world can be ours, tonight

Gina choreographed the entire number by herself. Ricky was impressed with the flexibility and agility she seemed to know on a seemingly unconscious level. The dance was a firm reminder to him that she was good enough for Julliard. It made sense why she got accepted so early... because she was exceptional for her age.

Ricky couldn’t help but be in awe at Gina’s capabilities with dance. She was able to use Ricky’s skateboarding talents as a means of helping him with the choreography. Ricky knew how to achieve large stunts, he knew how to be graceful in the air, and he knew how to land with coordination- all things Gina needed for the number. Whenever he got nervous, she would greet him with a, “just fly”. That was all he needed to let go of any tension he felt before landing his big stunts.

But regardless of how beautiful and easy the song should have been that day, Gina’s emotion felt still and awkward. Ricky wanted to ask Jenn to stop, to let Gina have a minute with whatever was going on with her, but Jenn also asked them to really feel this scene.

So, Ricky justified to himself, maybe that was all Gina was doing. She was just feeling the scene.

You know I want you It's not a secret I try to hide But I can't have you We're bound to break and my hands are tied

Gina sang the last verse, overcome with emotion. Her hands were placed gently on Ricky’s as she sang. But when she started to step away, Ricky felt something he wasn’t expecting as she slid her hands gently off of his: Gina’s promise ring.

#OCAP #Of Converse and Pavement #Rina Week 2022 #rina #ricky x gina #ricky bowen #gina porter #hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series #hsm #high school musical

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