#Feet Of Clay

[stupidphototricks]

For someone who didn't normally write mysteries, Sir Terry Pratchett wrote a hell of one in Feet of Clay. I read a lot of books in the mystery genre because it feels good to my brain when things all fit together and make sense at the end. So this quote has been stuck in my head forever, because this moment exists in all of the best mystery stories:

This is it, he thought. This is where we've filled ourselves up with so many questions that they're starting to overflow and become answers.

--- Feet of Clay, Terry Pratchett (internal monologue of Sam Vimes)

It's such a lovely moment, this turning point, when the narrative holds its breath. Everything is about to start clicking into place.

[headcanonsandmore]

“Royalty was like dandelions. No matter how many heads you chopped off, the roots were still there underground, waiting to spring up again.

It seemed to be a chronic disease. It was as if even the most intelligent person had this little blank spot in their heads where someone had written: "Kings. What a good idea." Whoever had created humanity had left in a major design flaw. It was its tendency to bend at the knees.”

It seems appropriate to be reading this today. No more kings!

[pratchettquotes]

These were dangerous thoughts, he knew. They were the kind that crept up on a Watchman when the chase was over and it was just you and him, facing one another in that breathless little pinch between the crime and the punishment.

And maybe a Watchman had seen civilization with the skin ripped off one time too many and stopped acting like a Watchman and started acting like a normal human being and realized that the click of the crossbow or the sweep of the sword would make all the world so clean.

And you couldn't think like that, even about vampires. Even though they'd take the lives of other people because little lives don't matter and what the hell can we take away from them?

And, too, you couldn't think like that because they gave you a sword and a badge and that turned you into something else and that had to mean there were some thoughts you couldn't think.

Only crimes could take place in darkness. Punishment had to be done in the light. That was the job of a good Watchman, Carrot always said. To light a candle in the dark.

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

[grammarpedant]

fuck "proving you're a Real Boy by learning to love," every fictional robot who's a person needs a highly specific Thing to have strong opinions and/or pick fights about as soon as they're free and/or awake. for Murderbot that's its daytime tv, for Dorfl it's the existence of gods. my man Dorfl had barely had self-determination for a day before he was picking debates with evangelists and telling gods straight to their priests that he doesn't believe in them. dorfl's function and character arc had nothing to do with gods before he self-determined; he just woke up and chose atheism. if your fictional robot isn't at least half this opinionated about shit that is not its business wyd.

[la-niolue]

"But the gods plainly do exist," said a priest.

"It Is Not Evident." A bolt of lightning lanced through the clouds and hit Dorfl's helmet. There was a sheet of flame and then a trickling noise. Dorfl's molten armor formed puddles around his white-hot feet.

"I Don't Call That Much Of An Argument," said Dorfl calmly, from somewhere in the clouds of smoke.

Feet Of Clay

[aeshnacyanea2000]

Anatomy was an important study at the Alchemists’ Guild, owing to the ancient theory that the human body represented a microcosm of the universe, although when you saw one opened up it was hard to imagine which part of the universe was small and purple and went blomp-blomp when you prodded it.

-- Terry Pratchett - Feet Of Clay

[p4nishers]

i think the craziest thing about "someone got past his guard. i'm his guard and i didn't see it coming" is that vimes is not ACTUALLY vetinari's guard. its stated multiple times in the books that vetinari has his own personal palace guards yet vimes CHOOSES to think of himself as vetinari's guard. as HIS. like. it's never really been his responsibility to protect vetinari and still he has SINCE GUARDS GUARDS taken on that job bc he's the only one who he TRUSTS to do it. he would literally take a bullet for vetinari and say he did it bc its his job but IT'S NOT!!!! ITS LITERALLY NOT. he's a CITY WATCH COMMANDER. NOTHING to actually do with protecting the patriarch. AND if someone else anyone else would be the patriarch he wouldn't be doing it. vetinari is HIS, his to kill and his to protect. insane

[dimity-lawn]

[sparkly-angell]

Vimes against Arthur Conan Doyle

[gothprentiss]

terry pratchett, feet of clay

[discworldquotes]

'You are armigerous, Nobby.' Nobby nodded. 'But I got a special shampoo for it, sir.'

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

[suckrose-and-akwa]

The vampire looked from the golem to Vimes.

"You gave one of them a voice?" he said.

"Yes," said Dorfl. He reached down and picked up the vampire in one hand. "I Could Kill You," he said. "This Is An Option Available To Me As A Free-Thinking Individual But I Will Not Do So Because I Own Myself And I Have Made A Moral Choice."

"Oh, gods," murmured Vimes under his breath.

"That's blasphemy," said the vampire.

He gasped as Vimes shot him a glance like sunlight. "That's what people say when the voiceless speak. Take him away, Dorfl."

-Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

[discworldbooksbracket]

[pratchettquotes]

A Personal Note: Celebrating 4,000 Followers*

Lord Vetinari walked out of the room and back into the main hall, with Vimes trailing behind. "However," he said, "in order to keep the peace, the golem will have to be destroyed."

"No, sir."

"Allow me to repeat my instruction."

"No, sir."

"I'm sure I just gave you an order, Commander. I distinctly felt my lips move."

"No, sir. He's alive, sir."

"He's just made out of clay, Vimes."

"Aren't we all, sir? According to them pamphlets Constable Visit keeps handing out. Anyway, he thinks he's alive, and that's good enough for me."

The Patrician waved a hand towards the stairs and his office full of paper. "Nevertheless, Commander, I've had no less than nine missives from leading religious figures declaring that he is an abomination."

"Yes, sir. I've given that viewpoint a lot of thought, sir, and reached the following conclusion: arseholes to the lot of 'em, sir."

The Patrician's hand covered his mouth for a moment. "Sir Samuel, you are a harsh negotiator. Surely you can give and take?"

"Couldn't say, sir."

Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

*A Rare Personal Note: This exchange comes after what may be one of the most famous Discworld moments of all time: the conversation where Vimes and Vetinari first discuss the age old question, "Who watches the Watch?", which becomes one of the central threads of Vimes' character progression. But the end of the conversation, which involves the fate of the newly christened Constable Dorfl, strikes me powerfully today. This marks one of the few times in canon that Vimes explicitly rejects one of Vetinari's commands on moral grounds. It also marks a rare moment when Vimes and Vetinari (who are often complex foils for each other) seem to agree on a fundamental point of morality: that a person must be treated as a person, whatever the cost, even if we do not understand them. On the last day of 2023, this seems more important to me than ever. We 4,000 Pratchett fans who share the quotes that fill this blog likely share very little else: If we met on the street we would not agree about politics, religion, the weather, or the correct storage of Battle Bread. But I think that Sir Terry would perhaps want us to remember that, even when we are at our most opposed, we are all made out of clay -- and that is something worth protecting. Happy New Year, my friends. May we all continue to learn what must be given, and what can never be taken.

[kateksmallcuteowl]

And the last one in the series to “About Dogs” by amazing @asongaboutpirates !

Hope you like it!

[la-niolue]

“She,” Angua corrected. “This is Ankh-Morpork, you know. We’ve got extra pronouns here.”

She could smell his bewilderment. Of course, everyone knew that, somewhere down under all those layers of leather and chain mail, dwarfs came in enough different types to ensure the future production of more dwarfs, but it was not a subject that dwarfs discussed other than at those essential points in a courtship when embarrassment might otherwise arise.

“Well, I would have thought she’d have the decency to keep it to herself,” Carrot said finally. “I mean, I’ve nothing against females. I’m pretty certain my stepmother is one. But I don’t think it’s very clever, you know, to go around drawing attention to the fact.”

“Carrot, I think you’ve got something wrong with your head,” said Angua.

“What?”

“I think you may have got it stuck up your bum."

Feet Of Clay

Honestly I love that Carrot's the one who doesn't immediately accept Cheery. Carrot is undoubtedly a good guy, and we know he does accept her later, so this really illustrate how pervasive prejudice can be.

I mean, Carrot is the one who accepts everyone, he's good and nice and open-minded. But he is a dwarf, and was raised with their traditional values that a dwarf isn't female. And so he is unconsciously prejudiced.

Like he says : he got nothing against it, per se, he knows some female you know, it's just that it's not done, see, it's wrong.

And that's a very common attitude in real life, when people have prejudice that they don't even realise are prejudice, because they grew up with them and never thought to question them. So of course that's not racist or transphobic or whatever, it's just common sense/how the world works.

So it's very nice to see that attitude being called out, because Carrot isn't being overly rude or insulting, and he even respected Cherry's pronouns when answering... But it's not much better and he's still wrong.

And also we know from later books that he does learn better! He got called out on his bullshit and he listened! And he got over his prejudice!

And so can we. I think most everyone grew up learning some bullshit ideas. And we're not automatically bad people for integrating them, we can't know what we don't know and blinkers are hard to get rid of. But we need to at least try to think critically about what we learn and more importantly, we need to listen when someone tell us we're full of shit.