#Fiji history

[fijiantransplant]

Fire Walkers, Beqa

Fire Walkers, Mbenga

Production

Burton Brothers; photography studio; 21 August 1899; Fiji

[ltwilliammowett]

Peekaboo - Fiji the former ship's cat of the Picton Castle - now ship's cat of the Schooner Grace Bailey

[br1ghtestlight]

fiji also has a much more violent and long-term colonization history in comparison to tonga which is probably part of the reason too. i just find pacific islander history so interesting Tbh i wanna read more articles and books about it

[eurydice-and-the-off-beats]

Having many family members who are of vastly different cultures and ethnicities is fun and all until they get to you and ask what you are.

[flagwars]

Historical Flag Wars: Round 1, Bracket 1

[afrotumble]

[realjaysumlin]

Melanesian Africans; Fiji, Solomons, Vanuatu Okeyo Jumal, September, 2019

This is the story of the migration out of Africa and many of our Beautiful Black Indigenous People globally still remember the stories that were passed down from generations to generations about our Black African History.

People didn't get to these places by accident and we migrated to these places long before colonization and slavery. Our people share the same fate as so many Black Indigenous People globally who came in contact with the Christian Colonizers who almost wiped out our ancestors.

[archival-dodger]

“Monica, who gave herself that name in honour of Monica Lewinsky, remembers hearing about the traditional vakasalewalewa around the kava circle – people gathering to chat as they shared the ceremonial drink.

“When [my grandparents] sat together in the grog [kava] session, I always opened my ear to catch the stories … I heard transgender exist in those days.”

Monica thinks the influence of these old stories – of chiefs who had trans women around them serving them – might be why her grandparents were more accepting of her…

“Vakasalewalewa is a term that we are continuously reclaiming unapologetically in recognition of our rich history, traditions and our right to exist,” says Sulique Waqa, founder of Haus of Khameleon, a Fiji-based movement advocating for transgender equality in the Pacific.

[lazybluebirdchild]

Visited the Fiji Museum 🇫🇯 after closing for renovations for about 2 years I think

[flagzworld]

undefined

The ongoing Flag of Fiji was officially embraced on October 10, 1970. Being an English Province for more than ninety years, the flag of Fiji's plan depends on the Association Jack (flag of England). Albeit the flag has somewhat been changed, it continues as before as the frontier period flag. Tessa Mackenzie planned the flag.

[ofmdrecaps]

07/18-19/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys & Rosie; Samba Schutte; David Jenkins; Taika Waititi; #FirstMateFriday: Con O'Neill; Vico Ortiz; Linds Cantrell; Alex Sherman & Alyssa Lane; Kristian Nairn; Rachel House; Erroll Shand; Jes Tom; WBD Status; ; Fan Spotlight: Cast Cards; Stede & Ed; Our Flag Means Fanfiction; Love Notes ; Daily Darby / Today's Taika;

Hey crew, sorry for the delay. I was going to finish yesterday's recap this morning, and then my draft got nuked again due to my computer crashing, so yeah two day it is!

== Rhys & Rosie ==

Rhys and Rosie are out at the AllBlacks Rubgy game! They're super excited for AoNZ vs Fiji!

Source: Rhys & Rosie's Instagram Stories

== Samba Schutte ==

So some of the news that came out of Florida Supercon last weekend was Samba revealed in a panel that there was supposed to be an official OFMD Podcast and it was in the works until WBD said they "ran out of money". You can read the Full Article here

== David Jenkins ==

Chaos dad came out and had some commentary as well regarding it-- and Samba had more to add.

Source: David Jenkins' Twitter

== Taika Waititi ==

Taika out and about!

Source: Rosie Matheson's Instagram

Annnd Taika just being goofy!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by i Licaoni Digital Studio (@i_licaoni)

Source: i_licaoni's Instagram

The associated Press released another interview with Taika and Jemaine!

and yet ANOTHER interview with Taika and Jemaine, this time with Brad Gilmore!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Brad Gilmore (@bradgilmore)

Source: Brad Gilmore's Instagram

== First Mate Friday: Con O'Neill ==

There's a new trend this week! Folks on twitter have started up #FirstMateFriday in honor of Con O'Neill! There are so very many lovely tributes to him! I was only able to fit a few in, but they're all beautiful, and full of so much heartfelt love, and I'm sure he is out there basking in it all right now! Thank you to everyone who sent him some love today (and thank you to the lovely folks below for letting me share them!) Also, special thanks to RudestFish on twitter for coming up with this love fest for Con!

Source: RudestFish's Twitter

Source: lividturkeys Twitter

Source: wndrngnomad's Twitter

Source: 1chloreen1's Twitter

Source: Tayleafy's Twitter

== Alex Sherman and Alyssa Lane ==

Our beloved writers/co-producers Alex and Alyssa were out in Mexico City! So nice to see them out and having fun again!

Source: Alex Sherman's Instagram

Alex also popped in to appreciate our darling @fidisart on twitter!

Source: Fidisart's Twitter

== Long Post is Long, Lots under the Cut ==

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico wants to wish everyone a Happy #NonMonogamyVisibility Week! They shared a lot about their history with polyamory and lots of Garlic Soup on their Instagram Stories as well!

Source: Vico's Instagram

== Linds Cantrell ==

Lindsey Cantrell is the biggest sweetheart by the way and she's been so happy to be interacting with everyone in the OFMD community-- it was just nice to see her feeling included and loved (she shared this on her IG Story). If you don't already follow her on IG, please do, she always has super cool stuff to share, even if it's not OFMD related. <3

Source: Linds Cantrell's Instagram

== Rachel House ==

Rachel was out seeing Bob Tidicue!

Source: Rachel House's Instagram Stories

== Erroll Shand ==

New Episode yesterday of The Twelve on Binge!

Source: Binge's Instagram

== Jes Tom ==

Jes was featured on the "GOOD BOYS" Podcast: Episode 2: Model Behavior! Wanna listen in? You can check out their linktree.

Source: For Them's Instagram

Some photos from Jes' recent comedy show with Tessa Skara: Corporate Pride.

Source: TessaFuckinSkara's Instagram

== Kristian Nairn ==

Kristian is the special guest at Van Love Fest in Elvington Airfield, York!

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

== WBD News ==

So many of our crewmates on twitter have been highlighting some big news with WBD. It sounds like they may actually be doing a split in the upcoming future. Lot of articles below with more info.

Warner Bros Discovery drafts break-up plan

Warner Bros. Discovery might split itself into two pieces

Cord Cutting Today Warner Bros. Discovery Selling Max? Here is What We Know

Why Warner Bros. Discovery Stock Jumped 15% This Week

David Zaslav's Come To Jesus Moment

Sources: Meowzawowza, Never Left Podcast, Ashley (seven_sugars), MrButtons294 on Twitter

== Trends ==

Always nice to see!

Source: Never Left Podcast's Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Naureemum S. was another one of the stand-ins in OFMD according to https://ofmd-crew.com/ - Thank you to @melvisik for giving her a spotlight!

Source: @melvisik's Twitter

== Our Flag Means Fanfiction ==

Are you going to be at San Diego Comic Con on July 25-28? Well keep an eye out for these free bookmarks from Our Flag Means Fanfiction!

Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! I hope the end to your week was good to you! A lots happened in the last 48 hrs, and I apologize I'm so late sharing some of it. Please let me know if I missed anything! I love how much people are really stepping up the love for cast members after all the Emmy stuff that went down. I see everyone just aggressively (I say affectionatly) loving so many of them and it's so heart-warming and uplifting. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but your love and kindness is so incredibly impactful. You may never get to see the fruits of your love (although the cast and crew does tend to show us they hear us) but know that every little bit builds up. Maybe someone was having a bad day, and seeing how much we love them gave them that extra boost to get through it-- you never know! There is an old greek proverb: "A society grows great when [folks] plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."

That is really true about kindness and support and love too. You are sowing the seeds and roots of a better tomorrow, even if you yourself never get to see the branches and fruit that love produces.

Never let the harshness of the world dim your light lovelies. Your kindness and love moves mountains tiny bits at a time.

I hope you all have a wonderful, fairly uneventful weekend (unless you want it to be eventful!) and get some good rest <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

There is no theme tonight! Just Rhys being ridiculously hot, and Meow blessing us with this adorable Taika smile. Happy belated Meow Day! Rhys Gif by @ofmd-ann and Taika Gif by @blakbonnet!

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

Sponsored by Archewell of Course

Finally we learn the true purpose of this fake royal inGRIFTus visit: MEgain's dream to purcha$e (not earn) a political appointment as an Ambassador for the perks: IPP status, a NYC apartment, luxurious international travel, power, stardom, etc.

In 2021 in the name of vaccine equity (and netflix), The Meghans secured a meeting with several WHO representatives involved w/The Clinton Global Initiative including the UN Under-Secretary General Winnie Byanyima.¹

MEgain replied "It's wonderful to be back..." just to make it clear that THIS trip is all about HER not him.

It seems that identifying as Misan Harriman's Nigerian cousin might be her golden ticket to the UN.

Meghan Markle was the most unaccomplished woman in that room of so-called Nigerian women leaders and certainly the least deserving of any political appointments or elected positions. She's treated women and men like TRASH. Hissing and harassing them to such lengths that they require therapy and seek new employment.

Sparry is absolutely complicit in their drive to give his wife undeserved power and authority over institutions and human beings. He'll assist her with love bombing Ngozi even just save what little hair remains on his head. He's a Eunuch.

From the Nigerian Defense Staff Visitor Book of General Christopher Musa

Sparry: "Thank you for welcoming us to your beautiful country. Together we will heal our troops. -Harry

MEgain: "With gratitude for the support of the Invictus community. And for welcoming me home." -M??

Did these female leaders discuss the women who have been raped and violated in the African Parks Scandal?

What about hundreds of abducted Nigerian children, most recently in broad daylight on March 7, 2024?

Look at this lovely room and compare it to the spaces The Meghans publicized to the mainstream media on their tour. Spot the difference. Who do you think matters most, the wounded or the powerful?

The good news is that The MEghans have a very long history of lying, cheating, mistreating innocent people, and even mocking God.

No matter what doors 43% of bull chite will open, God will not be mocked. Sparry had the temerity to walk into Saint Paul's and read from the holy scriptures as if he's some authority on serving God while he nails his bloodline to the media's cross.

Cry out for mercy, Harry!

God will not be mocked, whatever a man sows that will he also reap.

MEgain thinks she can rebrand her ancestry and whore her way into achieving all her personal & professional goals.

Whatever she has sown, she will reap.

"An afternoon of joy, love and sharing of experiences with leading Nigerian women from across the spectrum- Public Sector, Private Sector, Civil Society, a mixture of young and old. Co hosted by Meghan the Duchess of Sussex and myself, and moderated by @MoAbudu

Talking about what it means to be a woman leader, how difficult it is to get there, and the sisterhood and brotherhood that is needed to help make leadership work. Also had a fantastic panel made up of Dr @OmobolaJohnsonHon Minister @DrDorisAnite @achenyoio@miss_asagba Dr. Mairo Mandara and CNN’s @StephanieBusari who all shared their special experiences.

Sponsored by "Archewell Women in Leadership"

Soho House's Misan Harriman but not Sparry🤔

She never cared about those less fortunate people The #Kigali of Today is the African Parks Rapes

She adored Elizabeth until she refused to place her in the Ambassador position with Emma Watson. When she had the opportunity for REVENGE she took it out on all the women waiting to meet her at the Fiji Market which included the UN Women and the Royal Tour Staff.

The Malta Ancestry Lie: "oh I do sort of blend in, and it's the loveliest feeling." Unfortunately for the Maltese tourist authority, Meghan's published article made NO MENTION MALTA!!!

"Meghan identifies 1st and foremost as the business woman. Money is Meghan's priority." P77

Numerous Bridges Burned. She has markled herself.

WTO | 2021 News items - History is made: Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala chosen as Director-General

She'sa globalist WEFer: "The General Council decision follows months of uncertainty which arose when the United States initially refused to join the consensus around Dr Okonjo-Iweala and threw its support behind Trade Minister Yoo Myung-hee of the Republic of Korea. But following Ms Yoo's decision on 5 February to withdraw her candidacy, the administration of newly elected US President Joseph R. Biden Jr. dropped the US objection and announced instead that Washington extends its “strong support” to the candidacy of Dr Okonjo-Iweala."

History is made: Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala chosen as Director-General

WTO members made history today (15 February) when the General Council agreed by consensus to select Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala of Nigeria as the organization’s seventh Director-General.

When she takes office on 1 March, Dr Okonjo-Iweala will become the first woman and the first African to be chosen as Director-General. Her term, renewable, will expire on 31 August 2025.

“This is a very significant moment for the WTO. On behalf of the General Council, I extend our warmest congratulations to Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala on her appointment as the WTO's next Director-General and formally welcome her to this General Council meeting,” said General Council Chair David Walker of New Zealand who, together with co-facilitators Amb. Dacio Castillo (Honduras) and Amb. Harald Aspelund (Iceland) led the nine-month DG selection process.

“Dr Ngozi, on behalf of all members I wish to sincerely thank you for your graciousness in these exceptional months, and for your patience. We look forward to collaborating closely with you, Dr Ngozi, and I am certain that all members will work with you constructively during your tenure as Director-General to shape the future of this organization,” he added.

Dr Okonjo-Iweala said a key priority for her would be to work with members to quickly address the economic and health consequences brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic.

“I am honoured to have been selected by WTO members as WTO Director-General,” said Dr Okonjo-Iweala. “A strong WTO is vital if we are to recover fully and rapidly from the devastation wrought by the COVID-19 pandemic. I look forward to working with members to shape and implement the policy responses we need to get the global economy going again. Our organization faces a great many challenges but working together we can collectively make the WTO stronger, more agile and better adapted to the realities of today.” Her full statement is available here.

The General Council decision follows months of uncertainty which arose when the United States initially refused to join the consensus around Dr Okonjo-Iweala and threw its support behind Trade Minister Yoo Myung-hee of the Republic of Korea. But following Ms Yoo's decision on 5 February to withdraw her candidacy, the administration of newly elected US President Joseph R. Biden Jr. dropped the US objection and announced instead that Washington extends its “strong support” to the candidacy of Dr Okonjo-Iweala.

Amb. Walker extended his thanks to all eight of the candidates who participated in the selection process and particularly to Ms Yoo “for her ongoing commitment to and support for the multilateral trading system and for the WTO”. His full statement is available here.

The General Council agreed on 31 July that there would be three stages of consultations held over a two-month period commencing 7 September. During these confidential consultations, the field of candidates was narrowed from eight to five and then two. On 28 October, General Council Chair David Walker of New Zealand had informed members that based on consultations with all delegations Dr Okonjo-Iweala was best poised to attain consensus of the 164 WTO members and that she had the deepest and the broadest support among the membership. At that meeting, the United States was the only WTO member which said it could not join the consensus.

The consultation process undertaken by the chair and facilitators was established through guidelines agreed by all WTO members in a 2002 General Council decision. These guidelines spelled out the key criteria in determining the candidate best positioned to gain consensus is the “breadth of support” each candidate receives from the members. During the DG selection processes of 2005 and 2013, breadth of support was defined as “the distribution of preferences across geographic regions and among the categories of members generally recognized in WTO provisions: that is (Least developed countries), developing countries and developed countries”. This same process, agreed by all members in the General Council in 2020, was strictly followed by Chair Walker and his colleagues throughout the 2020-21 DG selection process.

The process for selecting a new Director-General was triggered on 14 May when former Director-General Mr Roberto Azevêdo informed WTO members he would be stepping down from his post one year before the expiry of his mandate. He subsequently left office on 31 August.

¹Winnie Byanyima UN Under-Secretary Gen & ED of UNAIDS since 2019: "Byanyima was appointed as the executive director of UNAIDS in August 2019, by the United Nations Secretary-General, António Guterres, following a comprehensive selection process that involved a search committee constituted by members of the UNAIDS Programme Coordinating Board. In her new position she concurrently serves as a United Nations Under-Secretary-General. In addition to her role at UNAIDS, Byanyima also serves a two-year term as a member of the World Bank Group’s (WBG) Advisory Council on Gender and Development. Since 2022, she has been a member of the Commission for Universal Health convened by Chatham House and co-chaired by Helen Clark and Jakaya Kikwete."

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 20 thoughts

oh man! i really loved this episode. no aliens, no overarching plot, just some silly shenanigans and yeah, some murder, but in a far more lighthearted fashion than in other cases. filler episodes i love you soooo much <3

from the beginning, i thought the prompt sounded really good... shoutout to people who work in sideshows and other touring entertainment industries, y’all are real for that 

we open with some kids laughing under a full moon… nothing could be scarier… except SOMEONE WATCHING THEM!

and whoever it is, they are approaching the pool with feet out. where are their parents to safeguard them from stranger danger, i ask into my screen!

OH he is the dad!! what was once scary has now turned heartwarming. he splashes about in the pool with them and says they need to get ready for bed. aww. 

BUT NOW SOMEONE IS WATCHING HIM IN THE POOL!! NOOO the heartwarming session HAS BEEN CANCELLED... is he being EATEN???

(as he is killed, the camera shows a van with the words “alligator man” on it... at first i'm thinking that the alligator man was the creature who just Ate this guy, but turns out the father WAS alligator man, so named for his skin condition. rest in peace mister alligator, the world is a worse place for ur loss)

and now the agents are looking into his murder :(

(also, in the opening credits, we see that one of the guest stars is named “the enigma”... I’ll have to look into their work)

mulder says there have been a lot of murders in this fashion over the last 28 years, and they have been going all over the country!!! it seems to involve some sort of round bite mark. must be time to go investigate.

they roll up the the alligator man's funeral. honestly it is sad! and we see that the widow slash mother of the kids is a bearded lady and she is absolutely serving but this is a very sorrow-filled moment for them all

and interrupting the moment in which his community remembers the warmth he brought to their town, his casket starts moving… and someone emerges from the ground… and stabs himself in the chest with a spike???? HUH???

so the deceased was an escape artist but was forced into the sideshow circuit because of his skin condition… scully says she didn’t know sideshows were still a thing… which is honestly fair because it is a very vintage sort of entertainment. and they have a Not So Great history.

BUT if the people who live in this town in the summer are all traveling performers.. and if they have been touring for years... and the murders go on for years… hmm, it seems things are starting to add up

mulder notices a drawing of a creature on the menu of the restaurant they are sitting in, and he asks who drew it. why, the sheriff says, it's the artist named hepcat, of course! cut to him tending to his freaky mermaid. he describes his scary maze business as “a tabernacle of terror” 

mulder asks what the drawing on the menu was, and i was thinking, hmm, looks like the fiji mermaid, and hepcat says it is the fiji mermaid, and mulder doesn't seem to recognize it?? i assume this is one of those situations where he acts like he doesn't know what is going on to get more information because i feel like that is Exactly the sort of thing he has read about at length. like i had him pegged as a guy who could write a dissertation on the subject at the drop of a hat. so i think he's lying but narrative wise it isn't fully revealed. 

scully: “what’s the fiji mermaid?” hepcat: “it’s the fiji mermaid!” <- thanks this clears up a lot <3

mulder is acting surprised to hear that the top half of the fiji mermaid was a monkey, which i again assume to be an act? but he says that the tracks at the murder look monkey-ish. so perhaps there is a correlation...? between the very active murder case and that time PT barnum sewed a monkey and a fish together? hey, the dots aren't connecting for me, but i don't work for the fbi so what do i know

they go to get a place to stay and the guy operating the rental place, a kind and verbose fellow with dwarfism named mr. nutt, gives them their keys. and mulder asks if had worked in the circus, (and since everyone they have met so far has in fact done so, i feel that this was a fair question, but maybe i also deserved what follows), and mr. nutt really lays into him about making judgements, and maybe some people with dwarfism want to manage hotels...

and as all of this goes down scully just observes. wow. she let him flounder. lmao.

the man carrying their bags is named lanny, and he has a conjoined twin sort of situation, it's not entirely clear- but he says mr. nutt got him to work there because he believed it was undignified to work in the circus. hmm.

back to hepcat at his studio… listening to some groovy music... and something crawls in his window… looking like the fiji mermaid. and it BITES him.

next morning. mulder going for a jog. in a sweatshirt and sweatpants in florida heat. what in the hell was he thinking??? let’s analyze that while a man chomping a fish emerges from the river. we receive no real clarification on what is going on in either of their minds.

scully in bed. alerted to a murder by lanny. still in a robe. we get a shot of her chest and also lanny's brother that felt mutually uncomfortable. SMH no rest for her!

okay, examining the scene of the murder. mulder notices some blood on a little window and WHY DID HE TOUCH THE BLOOD NASTY!!!! NASTY!!!

they deduce that to fit in the window, the suspect would have to be a contortionist…. and they walk out to see a contortionist. it’s the spike guy that so disrespectfully ruined the funeral!!

he puts a nail up his nose in front them. and mulder pulls the nail out. probably to get some blood. not an easy watch still.

we learn here that the guy with the puzzle tattoos who was eating the fish in the river earlier is called “The Conundrum”, and the spike guy slash contortionist is dr. blockhead

dr. blockhead gives the conundrum a bunch of crickets and he gulps them up; then he offers crickets to the agents and scully TAKES one, says thanks, eats it, and leaves LMAOOO????? never let them guess your next move....

mulder is staring at her trying to figure out if he is in love with a woman that just ate a cricket and if this is something she does regularly and JUST KIDDING!!! she didn't eat it silly!!! she "reveals" the lil cricket behind mulder’s ear awww... her uncle was a magician <3

(he also does a lil slight of hand trick and pulls out the bloody nail, saying "everyone's uncle was an amateur magician", which i am sure they can bond over at a later date)

scully goes to a museum that says "freaks free, everyone else leave a donation" and she puts in some money… publicly declared non-freak 

this guy at the museum is touching her. don’t care for that. but I like that he knows lots of random information. and he won’t show his whole face, we as the audience only see him through mirrors. very cool framing device.

he says he will take her back and show her something of barnum’s for another $5 and sworn secrecy. good luck bucko; last time she was told to keep a secret (affair baby) the SECOND she was reunited with mulder the tea had been spilled LMAOOO. he hands her a paper featuring jim jim the dog faced boy, who, dare i say it, seems to be a king.

he leads her into the back rooms… scary. but her trench coat is serving though

okay, deep in the back is a trunk. and it’s empty and opens an exit door. NOOO she was scammed! it’s all part of the hustle. 

(well, that is what i THOUGHT, at least, until she realizes it leads to the sheriff's house, and things are adding up...)

mulder sees something crawling about. it’s the guy who owns the rental space, mr. nutt, under scully's trailer! he asks why he is under there and mr. nutt says he is NOT being creepy. mulder flirts with the man and he runs away LMAO... weaponized bisexuality 

agents are in the trailer having a nerd off and it’s not clear who is winning and there is romantic tension. sheriff hamilton used to be jim jim the dog faced boy???? what a reveal!!!

we are watching them watch the sheriff dig a hole during a full moon. average agent bonding activities. he buried something in the ground and goes inside. 

they are in his yard digging up what he was just digging and mulder has taken his earlier roasting to heart and says “we’re being highly discriminatory here” and clarifies that’s no reason to suspect him of being a werewolf and it’s like well. i don’t know that we both thought he was a werewolf. they pause to consider the moral weight of their actions then keep going.

uh oh! sheriff catches them!!! not a good look being caught digging something up. “We’re exhuming… your potato” is the best line that usually quick-tongued mulder could come up with, which had me losing my MIND and i proceeded to write a very long keysmash to express my amusement

“may I ask why?” (she starts monologing about serial killers taking positions in law enforcement and needing to monitor him as as suspect, and it’s convincing) (he cuts in: “we found out you used to be a dog-faced boy” STOP THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY) and she looks soooooo guilty!!

he doesn’t deny it and says he started balding on his head which put him out of a job. fair enough, gotta pay the bills.

next genius dialogue exchange: “that doesn’t explain the potato” “I got some warts on my hand” “...that doesn’t quite explain the potato” 

(i kept having to pause in rapid succession to write these lines down because i was laughing SO hard)

has anyone thought that maybe a man wants to bury a potato in his yard in peace…. like that’s how we get more potatoes…

“to get rid of warts you rub a sliced potato on your hand and bury it under a full moon” <- new life hack just dropped!!

nooooooo the conundrum is chasing the dog… dog escaped. everyone is pleased. he brings a check to mr. nutt and it’s rent!! king of paying his bills on time. but dog is still barking... NOOOOO MERMAID ATTACK ON MR. NUTT!!!

someone with bloody hands bursts into scully’s room and she must have her gun right by her pillow, and she gets it so fast, but it’s just lanny, saying he found mr. nutt dead... they truly hate to see a hard working entrepreneur in the field of hospitality winning 

the pin at the scene looked like something from dr. blockhead, so they go to his house to investigate and he is full of hooks. i made a noise like whAUUUWAUUHWAUH and mulder is looking intensely at what's going on there. blockhead goes on some cultural appropriation bs. um sir this is weird timing bur you are under arrest.

he gets out of the handcuffs- contortionist and escape artist! but the sheriff catches him by the hooks. what a KING! shoutout to this sheriff, formerly jim jim the dog faced boy, can we add him to the team? skinner are you hiring?  

just as our agents apprehend their suspect, we see that the mermaid creature is in the room with lanny!!! but... he isn't hurt?

OMG the twin inside him IS THE MERMAID??

lanny confesses to this when he asks how it would be possible to turn his "brother" in without turning himself in...and he thinks the mermaid fellow hates him and is looking for another brother which is so SAD but he says he’ll come back

is anyone concerned about the twin crawling out of lanny? well, mulder knows he isn't the man in charge here: “scully, you’re the medical expert… I believe you” yessir it's good to remember that!

the mermaid brother appears to have run off into the "tabernacle of terror" and mulder trying to hold a little evil mermaid at gunpoint is SO comical

their asses are lost in the maze!!! scully pulls a gun on a rubber skeleton that fell from the ceiling!

she's trapped in a mirror room to serve infinite looks in all directions, and it looks like mermaid baby is caught... she fires.. but it hits the mirror!! baby mermaid brother escaped!!!

at this moment, mulder slides through a trapdoor... and it was SO funny pls tell me there's a gif set of that somewhere because i need it...

baby on the loose... bad news!!! conundrum is being eaten by the baby twin…. but what if he eats him FIRST, i ask myself, and received an answer in the form of baby being gone and conundrum rubbing his stomach!!!! yassss!!! diva down!!!

the next morning, while everyone is searching for mermaid brother, we learn lanny died that evening of a condition related to alcoholism. we learn this while dr. blockhead and the conundrum are getting ready to leave.

and dr. blockhead's going on about the future, and how nature needs freaks, and in the 21st century everyone will look perfect… "just like him" (points to Mulder majestically posing by a trailer) LMAOOOOOO “imagine going through your whole life looking like that!!!” <- yeah it must be really hard....... /s

at last, conundrum and blockhead are taking off into the great unknown... scully points out he doesn't look too good…. CONUNDRUM TALKS???? “probably something I ate", he says. LMAOOO his voice is sooo normal 😭😭😭

this episode had me laughing. we really had it all: exhuming a potato, scully's valiant attempts at lying, mulder hitting on a guy, lessons in ableism and judgement, a man who eats crickets and fish, flirting over case details, a dog, scully doing magic, mulder running in the florida heat dressed like it was a new england winter. truly i have nothing that could be added.

and did i have a secret evil mermaid twin on my list of probably monsters of the week? no, i cannot say that i did! was it the most compelling or scary of creatures? not really! but i was filled with whimsy. cannibalism saved the day. an excellent episode, and a perfect contrast to earlier in the season when scully was literally About To Die and i was crying a lot over the whole thing. ah, the duality of TV shows!

[sukrjoon222]

OG yacht girl

yacht girl vibe

-be the yacht princess traveling through cannes

-get invited by the wealthiest of the elite onto yachts with your friends and earn money

-meet eligible bachelors easily

-be a polarizing magnet for billionaires

-sip strawberry champagne out on the deck

-lounge around 150 million dollar yachts while eating exotic tropical fruits

-have an endless yacht crew jumping to make sure you’re comfortable and not lifting a finger

-always travel to exotic, tropical, travel destinations like the almalfi coast , santorini, sardinia, ibiza, miami, jamaica, rio de janeiro, bali, fiji, thailand, monaco, bora bora, dubai, portofino, hawaii (be mindful to the locals please), aruba, puerto rico, cancun & turks and caicos on somebody else’s expense.

-easily pick up foreign languages abroad and perfectly speak it to the locals

-lounge around the yacht in nothing but a tiny bikini and heels just cause

-always have safe trips. never do anything you don’t want to and have safe travels onboard.

-everything goes your way. if you’re not happy your billionaire friend will do everything in his power to see a smile on your face. but why would you not be happy being young, hot spoiled & rich on a attractive billionaire’s yacht???

-watching you relax on your billionaire friend’s yacht is their personal favorite. however watching you run around the beach sipping an aperol spritz with your peachy cheeks covered in sand is a close second.

-find a healthy mix between eating the mediterranean diet, shellfish, acqua panna, exotic fruits & eating bonilla a la vista patatas fritas, piña coladas and smoking cuban cigars

-have a luxurious romantic dinner every night on the water level extended deck with dimly lit candles just because

-besides your shopping sprees be sure to expect new lingerie, bikinis, investment bags, peonies & macarons to be gifted to you daily while your billionaire friend is out and about just thinking about you.

-have the same larger than life 2000’s party girl vibe as paris hilton

-you choose to go with both attractive and ultra wealthy billionaires because you’re the hottest of the hottest so you can have both

-stay in a top of the line yacht with all the appliances most can only dream of

-the yacht girl lifestyle is never scary you’re never put in danger and can leave whenever you want

-despite how great yachting sounds its just another typical day for you your life is normally so luxurious and fun

-you are easily the sexiest most expensive export out of your country ever summer

-make more in one night of yachting than a small countries GDP

-despite your well travelled expensive summer experience you also make sure to maintain your summer reading and investment’s

-locals are nothing but kind to the foreign pretty girl they see on the beach

-be the evening gem of the yacht club meet

-never girl rot you’re doing hot rich bitch shit everyday

-when you’re yachting life is reminiscent of 2010 frank ocean “super rich kids” vibes of pure luxury and blatant displays of wealth

-be endlessly energetic, flirty and playful

-you make people feel insatiable for your presence

-one sniff of your scent is like a lethal drug

-when you’re not on the yacht or on land you’re traveling by private plane to your next destination

-you’re gifted with the unique ability to find at least one naturally occurring pearl every time you eat oysters

-your voice is downright erotic and gets men to do whatever you want

miranda kerr dating history

-only date billionaires

-have your eye out for the perfect billionaire

-know how to play the game for your perfect billionaire mate

-you just might end up with the CEO of your favorite social media company if you keep up the yachting

-unlike miranda you would never have a baby with a lame

-don’t yacht just for fun and money, yacht because you’re looking for your future husband to make you and your future children live a life of leisure

miranda kerr beauty

-have gorgeous dimples (or dimple lol i only have one) that make rich men weak in the knees

-have doll like apple cheeks that make you look youthful

-look naive and impressionable despite your omnipresent sex appeal

-always have a full voluminous victorias’s secret bombshell blowout

-have a face that could easily make you the highest paid model… or yacht girl

-exude unmatched sex appeal

-have skin so hydrated and dewy from sipping straight from your coconuts

-have a perfect balance between downright wanton sex appeal and neoteny to easily manipulate just about anyone

general sprinkle sprinkle

-you’ve never dated a brookie

-even a brookie would sell his soul to see you on a yacht sunbathing in the south of France

-you don’t have to perform sexual favors (unless desired) on yacht’s, you’re simply invited to a tropical luxurious summer getaway

-be gifted a cartier 18K yellow gold 7 charm ankle bracelet so your favorite billionaire can stake his claim

-other billionaires are crawling to your feet with gifts to invite you to their yacht

-other yacht billionaires get so territorial when they see you dancing on the deck table across the bay

-give the billionaire you choose to yacht with even more status amongst the elite as you’re the most expensive yacht girl

-be paid billions just to enjoy yourself

-not even “queen of yacht girls” miranda kerr could make as much as you do yachting for a night

-you don’t pay for a damn thing. in fact the only thing in your delvaux bag is sun screen and hot sauce

-your billionaire friend can’t focus when he leaves to do business deals knowing you’re lounging in the tiniest tropic of c bikini

-your billionaire is waiting at your beck and call to feed you grapes from the vine while you read just to be near you

-sure you could hang out with the old wrinkled billionaires but the hot & sexy young ones want and pay even more for you

-have the face and body people immediately think of when they hear “billionaire wife”

-be the main source of envy from other yacht girls or girls fucking for free to hop on a low tier yacht

-master social dining etiquette (your fork will always give you away)

-your private flight or emirates first class suite ticket there? paid for. your summer wardrobe? paid for. your living expenses? paid for. your shopping sprees? paid for. none of which are paid for by you. you’re just expected to bring your pretty self to be a muse of sorts.

-have 100 million dollar yachts gifted to you for existing

-after you step foot onto the yacht your billionaire friend calls someone up to change the current printed name to yours (naomi lapaglia inspo)

-you yourself are a status symbol there’s no question a man is rich if you’re on his arm

-have a figurehead on the prow designed after you (lauren sanchez inspo)

-rich men literally spit out their 1945 Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Grand Cru when they see you

-be the best seductress there ever was

-no one has more game or knows the game quite as well as you do

-billionaire men don’t mind if you’re manipulating them for your own gain they just want to be near you

-other yacht girls wouldn’t dare to approach your billionaire friend

-wealthy men are more than happy to give you all of their money just for being beautiful

-wealthy men literally feel haunted by your presence it evokes some sort of regency era longing. something for the books

-you are the ultimate prize

-men don’t care about your past as long as you’re not with someone else

-attract a chadlite billionaire that melts in your arms like frei malthus in hilda hurricane

-be gifted diamonds for every innocent kiss you give on the cheek

-unlike miranda kerr you don’t even have to make billionaire’s think you like them they just want the opportunity to be in your presence

-“a pearl necklace for your thoughts?”

summer beauty affirmations

-sex appeal seeps out of your pores you are the epitome of “walking sex”

-people on land watch you walk by as captivated as everyone in town was watching malena walk past

-have a summer essence like pamela anderson running across the beach in baywatch

-have sultry tan lines that give a forbidden fruit vibe when seen

-tan is as deep and as perfect as brooke shields in the blue lagoon

-manifest all of your desired swimwear

-have a rosy gold undertone to your skin that makes you look youthful and healthy

-have the most adorable naturally rosy cheeks

-have endless amounts of hermes oran sandals in every color

-be so stunning and alluring sirens wonder if you’re one of them

-look so exotic but no one can ever pinpoint from where

-look so erotic with fruit juice running down your chest and staining your luscious red lips

-look like you just walked out of a 2000’s summer edition of vogue

-be the beach beauty in passing no one ever forgets

-radiate even more sex appeal than an angel doing a victoria’s secret swimwear photoshoot

-have the ultimate bedroom eyes. one look from you with those pretty eyes is like a siren singing the sailors to their death

-(if desired for a lighter eye color green or blue) your eyes match the color of the sea’s you grace

-your defined cheekbones could cut a bitch but your dimple faced smile melts the iciest hearts

-thick & fluffy brooke shields/ taylor hill esque eyebrows

-look like you have naturally khol lined eyes

-you are forever in your peak. you’re gonna be sexy forever

-you embody the same endless beauty and femininity as ocean waves

-always be seen with an exotic flower in your long flowing locks on the beach

-have perfect pouty sensual red lips like rosie huntington whitley

-get asked what lip tint you’re wearing (you’re not wearing one…)

-manifest a luxury collection of sunglasses

-radiate the same beauty as christy turlington in “postcard from portofino” , vogue 1992

-anything you deem to be a personal imperfection is ceasing to exist

-when people see you they don’t understand how one person can be so sexy, exotic and unbelievably beautiful

-you’re beauty reminds people of a foreign sunset over the sea with rosy pink & orange hues

-have vanta black lashes that are super long and flutter soft and slow like a butterfly’s wings

-skin is naturally clear and rejuvenated look as if you’ve had a biologique recherche facial everyday (or maybe you have…)

-the salty ocean water washes away any skin impurities you have like a hydrafacial

-your glass skin & natural skin sparkles make your skin reminiscent of a porcelain doll’s

-manifest daily spa treatments, have your billionaire friend call the top specialist to the yacht for daily lymphatic drainage & skin treatments

-radiate the same energy as 2000’s euro summer clubbing songs

-your body is always well moisturized from even layers of sunscreen & body oil

-be out of this world gorgeous

-attract seashells, shell charms & jewelry

-maintain a thick fluffy 80’s voluminous blowout

-when people see you they think you’re a victoria’s secret model doing a photoshoot on the beach

-you’re devastatingly gorgeous

-you have a one in 8 billion sort of beauty

-you could easily be Miss Universe from beauty alone

-your pores are nonexistent

-there’s so many colors in your eyes from green, grey to blue with little specs of gold

-have a beauty that looks like you’re aware of ancient beauty secrets

-you become even more stunning with every second that passes

-the sun gives your hair a natural balayage

-hair is shiny like you used the oribe gold lust nourishing oil

-hair so shiny you’re fighting keratin treatment allegations

-your sexy aura reminds people of the song “candy shop” by fifty cent

-have an incredibly ultra feminine sexually dimorphic face

-your face is forever imprinted into men’s minds just from one glance

body affirmations

-have firm supple skin

-your skin is soft like butter cream

-your skin feels like silk

-easily obtain the best tan of your life

-be immune to sun burn

-tan like an early 2000’s Brazilian bombshell

-get a brazilian tan line spray tan

-have natural sparkles on your skin

-all body hair you don’t remove turns blonde and glimmers in the sun (ie: arms, happy trail)

-you’re naturally as hairless as a sphynx cat in your bikini area, underarms & legs

-your skin is immune to sun damage so you can sunbathe all day

-effortlessly maintain a summer body year round from 98-115 pounds year round (whatever you prefer)

-your body looks so healthy and filled out in all the right places

-always maintain a fresh russian mani pedi

manifest your desired summer body products

•sol de janeiro body oil

•vacation inc whipped spf 30

•body shimmer

•la roche posay thermal spray mist

•biologique recherche protection U.V. corps spf 50 sunscreen

-have long toned legs and a flat stomach

-have full round close set perky tear drop shaped boobs that look like they’re barely restrained by your bikini top (desired cup size)

-have a tall thin body

-workout on the extended deck of the yacht. not because you need to but because you want to. it helps that you’re flaunting that lithe sexy body to other billionaires along the way.

-all body imperfections (less than ideal proportions, discoloration, scars, loose skin, acne & scretch marks) are ceasing to exist

-even though you have your summer body all year round with no help needed, you know to maintain your upmost health through diet and exercise for the victorias secret fashion show in the fall

-your plump perky ass looks so enticing in your bikini bottoms

-your 0.7 WHR is mesmerizing but your plump heart shaped ass takes the cake

-your long supermodel legs are like rich men’s kryptonite

-hear “those legs” from drooling men daily

-your legs could easily stop a MAC truck

-tan easily and surprisingly fast

-tan like its UV 11 everyday

-be between 5’7-6’2

-have a thin hourglass body like candice swanepoel

-be fully immune to body odor

-have a natural yasmeen ghauri cat walk

-full hips that move as fluidly as shakira’s

-long swan neck that is immune to neck lines

-90° shoulders

-thin ballerina arms

-pretty size 6 arched feet

-divorced thighs

-small narrow rib cage

-20 inch waist

-all of your body fat is in your perky booty

-your body naturally emits the smell of acqua di parma blu mediterraneo by acqua di parma

-“it should be a crime how microscopic your bikini is”

-wealthy billionaires almost wish you put more clothes on for the sole sake of their own sanity

FAME

-have your desired level of fame for your desired career choice

-be the best dressed at cannes film festival red carpet

-you make so much money from your main job (modeling,acting etc) you only yacht for its eligible bachelors… the extra money is tempting too

-your hair naturally grows about 2 inches everyday just to give lara lieto on the cannes film festival red carpet

-meet your desired celebrities partying on yachts after the cannes film festival

-find out who other celebrity yacht girls are

-have the best paparazzi yachting pics

NSFW YACHTING

(like i said you don’t have to do sexual favors this part is if you feel sexually interested in your billionaire friend if not- you can subconsciously block all of these if you desire to not claim them if so it will not apply to you. if you chose to claim them there is extra protection bennies stay safe ily. again if you don’t want these bennies they simply won’t apply to you)

-have a healthy vagina

-have an optimal vaginal flora

-your PH never gets thrown off

-have optimal vaginal wetness from sipping on coconuts all day

-coochie is wet like you take your okra supplements

-get paid a couple mil more for the occasional “accidental” nip slip

-spending money on you literally makes men horny its like edging all day long

-trips to the dressing room “do you wanna see these clothes on me?” you can look but don’t you touch

-coochie smells & taste like sweet melons

-desired handsome billionaire has desired thoughts about your body

-get paid 20 mil more for allowing your billionaire friend to watch you enjoy your bubble bath with chocolate covered strawberries & Prosecco

-“when i’m with you all i get is wild thoughts”

-on the very rare chance that you do decide to sleep with your billionaire friend they make sure you’re left with a night you’ll never forget

-do your lovemaking on the deck overlooking the ocean under the night sky

-sacral chakra is properly functioning

-BE FULLY IMMUNE TO BEING 🍇D

-BE FULLY IMMUNE TO ATTRACTING PREDATORS

-BE FULLY IMMUNE TO ATTRACTING FAMILY

-RELEASE ANY AND ALL SEXUAL TRAUMA

[flagwars]

Historical Flag Wars: Round 2, Bracket 1