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mrrharper · 18 days

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Neighborhood Association

Cale put down the last box and sighed. He could now officially state that he has moved. He looked around the living room and felt proud of himself, after working tirelessly for almost a week to turn this space into a home. The same couldn’t be said about his feeling towards the place his new home was located in.

He was forced to move after the rent in his last apartment was hiked by 25%. This was more than he could handle, so he decided right then and there that the would find a cheaper place to live. He went on Zillow and it didn’t take long before he found the place he was now living in. Gorgeous building, well-kept outside, spacious inside, with a stupidly low rent. He called the landlord first thing the following day. He signed the lease a week after that.

It was only then that his friends came up to him and made him realize what was the place he was about to move into. Pinewood, an outer suburb and the only Republican stronghold in the entire metro area. This was bad news for the young gay software engineer basically addicted to the queer city life. But he had already signed all the paperwork and he decided he would make this work. Each time he felt like this might not have been the best decision he reminded himself that even with the longer commute he was saving a lot of many. Yeah, maybe the town screamed “All-American conservative suburb”, but this was the price for financial stability, Cale told himself.

Cale heard a knock on the door. He walked up to the entrance and opened it. He was surprised to see no one in front of his house, not even a single person walking along the street. Then he looked down and saw a leaflet. Oh, that’s what this was about. He picked up the piece of paper and started reading as he went back inside. “The Pinewood East Neighborhood Association welcomes you in our area. We are glad you’ve decided to find your special place within our prosperous community and invite you to become an active member. Just scan the QR code and fill the form. FIND YOUR ROLE IN PINEWOOD.” Well, that’s nice, Cale thought to himself. He sat down on the couch and scanned the code on the leaflet. The form was pretty standard, for the most part. The only unusual part was the part where he was asked about hobbies. It was not an open question and Cale was forced to choose for only a couple of options. He rolled his eyes, who designed this form? He picked “morning runs and fitness”. He did try to get into he habit of running a year ago. And a year before running it was working out. So he guessed this was the option closest to the truth. He quickly finished filling up the whole form and sent it, quickly forgetting about the whole thing.

Two days later when he came back from work and walked up to his door he saw a package. He was surprised, he didn’t remember ordering anything. But as he looked closer he confirmed that the box was addressed to him. There was just one small typo, Caleb instead of Cale, but he was used to it. He picked the package up and took it inside to his living room. He then opened the box and saw a letter on top. It turned out it was a welcome package from the neighborhood association. Cale thought it was a nice gift, but didn’t care to see what was inside the package itself. The only thing he took out was the baseball cap with the association’s logo on it. When later that day he went out to run a few errands he put it on, because it was the closest to his hand as he was leaving the house. He came back late and after getting out of his clothes he went back to bed. He forgot to take the cap off.

Caleb slowly woke up. He stood up and stretched his arms. He felt a weird ache throughout his whole body, and he didn’t know why— damn, that sesh at the gym yesterday was rough. But that ache was the sign that it was working. He turned his head and watched his arm as he flexed his biceps.

He came up to his closet for something to wear. But he only saw a few faggy shirts and some tight pants. What the fuck, he thought. But then his mind was instantly covered by a weird fog and he walked into the living room and picked up a big box standing on the floor. He opened it and took out a black compression shirt and a pair of gym shorts. He quickly put them on and immediately felt better, his muscles filling up the clothes perfectly.

Right after, Caleb looked up to see a pride flag hanging from one of the walls and a feeling of disgust filled his fog-covered head. He jumped up to the wall and grabbed the piece of fabric, then threw it on the ground. Then he came back to the box and took out a ‘thin blue line’ flag. That fit him way better and he quickly put it on the wall.

He heard his phone ring. He took his phone and answered.

“Yeah?”

“Good morning, this is Cathy form the Pinewood East Neighborhood Association. Is this Cale?”

“Ugh” Caleb grunted. Stupid woman. “It’s Caleb.”

“Oh, of course, my apologies” Cathy answered, but she didn’t sound like she was really sorry. “I’m calling to ask a few questions before we accept you as a full member”

“Sure, whatever” Caleb’s interest in the phone call was dwindling fast and he started flexing once again, watching his biceps go up and down.

“What’s your profession?” Caleb’s mind, completely covered by fog, didn’t know what to say.

“Ughhhh, soft…ware… was it… wait a minute—”

“Is it security guard, Caleb?”

“What?” He did not expect the woman to be such a psychic. “Yeah, yeah, security guard, duh.”

“Great, thank you Caleb, and one more question. There’s a group that wants to organize a Pride event in out beautiful city. How would you respond to such a proposal?”

“Hell no, we don’t want no queer near our place, isn’t that right? Bunch of degenerates” Caleb barked at the phone.

“I understand Caleb, and we agree, you’re absolutely right” The woman on the other side sounded almost… proud? “I won’t hold you any further, you have a job to go to. I’m glad you are fulfilling your role within our community. See you soon.” And then Cathy ended the call. Caleb shrugged, he wasn’t sure what was the deal with all this neighborhood shit, but why should he care? He was here for the low rent and the job that allowed him to spend half the day at the gym.

As he walked from the living room to the kitchen Caleb stopped in front of the mirror and started flexing. Damn, these guns of his looked impressive. And fuck, his chest was like a damn pillow, so sick. He watched his pecs flex in the mirror, moving under his compression shirt. These muscles were ready to smash degenerates and grab any pussy he wanted. When he was ready to leave the house, driven by instinct he went back to the box and picked up a pair of sunglasses he then immediately put on. Yeah, now he was ready to go to work and fulfill the role he was assigned in Pinewood. And brah, it felt fuckin’ great.

#nerd to jock tf #gay to straight tf #lib to con tf #security guard tf

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mostlysignssomeportents · 1 year

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'We buy ugly houses' is code for 'we steal vulnerable peoples' homes'

Tonight (May 11) at 7PM, I’m in CALGARY for Wordfest, with my novel Red Team Blues; I’ll be hosted by Peter Hemminger at the Memorial Park Library, 2nd Floor.

Home ownership is the American dream: not only do you get a place to live, free from the high-handed dictates of a landlord, but you also get an asset that appreciates, building intergenerational wealth while you sleep — literally.

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/11/ugly-houses-ugly-truth/#homevestor

Of course, you can’t have it both ways. If your house is an asset you use to cover falling wages, rising health care costs, spiraling college tuition and paper-thin support for eldercare, then it can’t be a place you live. It’s gonna be an asset you sell — or at the very least, borrow so heavily against that you are in constant risk of losing it.

This is the contradiction at the heart of the American dream: when America turned its back on organized labor as an engine for creating prosperity and embraced property speculation, it set itself on the road to serfdom — a world where the roof over your head is also your piggy bank, destined to be smashed open to cover the rising costs that an organized labor movement would have fought:

https://gen.medium.com/the-rents-too-damned-high-520f958d5ec5

Today, we’re hit the end of the road for the post-war (unevenly, racially segregated) shared prosperity that made it seem, briefly, that everyone could get rich by owning a house, living in it, then selling it to everybody else. Now that the game is ending, the winners are cashing in their chips:

https://doctorow.medium.com/the-end-of-the-road-to-serfdom-bfad6f3b35a9

The big con of home ownership is proceeding smartly on schedulee. First, you let the mark win a little, so they go all in on the scam. Then you take it all back. Obama’s tolerance of bank sleze after the Great Financial Crisis kicked off the modern era of corporations and grifters stealing Americans’ out from under them, forging deeds in robosigning mills:

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/us-breaks-down-93-bln-robo-signing-settlement-2013-02-28

The thefts never stopped. Today on Propublica, by Anjeanette Damon, Byard Duncan and Mollie Simon bring a horrifying, brilliantly reported account of the rampant, bottomless scams of Homevestors, AKA We Buy Ugly Houses, AKA “the #1 homebuyer in the USA”:

https://www.propublica.org/article/ugly-truth-behind-we-buy-ugly-houses

Homevestors — an army of the hedge fund Bayview Asset Management — claims a public mission: to bail out homeowners sitting on unsellable houses with all-cash deals. The company’s franchisees — 1,150 of them in 48 states — then sprinkle pixie dust and secret sauce on these “ugly houses” and sell them at a profit.

But Propublica’s investigation — which relied on whistleblowers, company veterans, court records and interviews with victims — tells a very different story. The Homevestor they discovered is a predator that steals houses out from under elderly people, disabled people, people struggling with mental illness and other vulnerable people. It’s a company whose agents have a powerful, well-polished playbook that stops family members from halting the transfers the company’s high-pressure salespeople set in motion.

Propublica reveals homeowners with advanced dementia who signed their shaky signatures to transfers that same their homes sold out from under them for a fraction of their market value. They show how Homevestor targets neighborhoods struck by hurricanes, or whose owners are recently divorced, or sick. One whistleblower tells of how the company uses the surveillance advertising industry to locate elderly people who’ve broken a hip: “a 60-day countdown to death — and, possibly, a deal.” The company’s mobile ads are geofenced to target people near hospitals and rehab hospitals, in hopes of finding desperate sellers who need to liquidate homes so that Medicaid will cover their medical expenses.

The sales pitches are relentless. One of Homevestor’s targets was a Texas woman whose father had recently been murdered. As she grieved, they blanketed her in pitches to sell her father’s house until “checking her mail became a traumatic experience.”

Real-estate brokers are bound by strict regulations, but not house flippers like Homevestors. Likewise, salespeople who pitch other high-ticket items, from securities to plane tickets — are required to offer buyers a cooling-off period during which they can reconsider their purchases. By contrast, Homevestors’ franchisees are well-versed in “muddying the title” to houses after the contract is signed, filing paperwork that makes it all but impossible for sellers to withdraw from the sale.

This produces a litany of ghastly horror-stories: homeowners who end up living in their trucks after they were pressured into a lowball sales; sellers who end up dying in hospital beds haunted by the trick that cost them their homes. One woman who struggled with hoarding was tricked into selling her house by false claims that the city would evict her because of her hoarding. A widow was tricked into signing away the deed to her late husband’s house by the lie that she could do so despite not being on the deed. One seller was tricked into signing a document he believed to be a home equity loan application, only to discover he had sold his house at a huge discount on its market value. An Arizona woman was tricked into selling her dead mother’s house through the lie that the house would have to be torn down and the lot redeveloped; the Homevestor franchisee then flipped the house for 5,500% of the sale-price.

The company vigorously denies these claims. They say that most people who do business with Homevestors are happy with the outcome; in support of this claim, they cite internal surveys of their own customers that produce a 96% approval rating.

When confronted with the specifics, the company blamed rogue franchisees. But Propublica obtained training materials and other internal documents that show that the problem is widespread and endemic to Homevestors’ business. Propublica discovered that at least eight franchisees who engaged in conduct the company said it “didn’t tolerate” had been awarded prizes by the company for their business acumen.

Franchisees are on the hook for massive recurring fees and face constant pressure from corporate auditors to close sales. To make those sales, franchisees turn to Homevana’s training materials, which are rife with predatory tactics. One document counsels franchisees that “pain is always a form of motivation.” What kind of pain? Lost jobs, looming foreclosure or a child in need of surgery.

A former franchisee explained how this is put into practice in the field: he encountered a seller who needed to sell quickly so he could join his dying mother who had just entered a hospice 1,400 miles away. The seller didn’t want to sell the house; they wanted to “get to Colorado to see their dying mother.”

These same training materials warn franchisees that they must not deal with sellers who are “subject to a guardianship or has a mental capacity that is diminished to the point that the person does not understand the value of the property,” but Propublica’s investigation discovered “a pattern of disregard” for this rule. For example, there was the 2020 incident in which a 78-year-old Atlanta man sold his house to a Homevestors franchisee for half its sale price. The seller was later shown to be “unable to write a sentence or name the year, season, date or month.”

The company tried to pin the blame for all this on bad eggs among its franchisees. But Propublica found that some of the company’s most egregious offenders were celebrated and tolerated before and after they were convicted of felonies related to their conduct on behalf of the company. For example, Hi-Land Properties is a five-time winner of Homevestors’ National Franchise of the Year prize. The owner was praised by the CEO as “loyal, hardworking franchisee who has well represented our national brand, best practices and values.”

This same franchisee had “filed two dozen breach of contract lawsuits since 2016 and clouded titles on more than 300 properties by recording notices of a sales contract.” Hi-Land “sued an elderly man so incapacitated by illness he couldn’t leave his house.”

Another franchisee, Patriot Holdings, uses the courts aggressively to stop families of vulnerable people from canceling deals their relatives signed. Patriot Holdings’ co-owner, Cory Evans, eventually pleaded guilty to to two felonies, attempted grand theft of real property. He had to drop his lawsuits against buyers, and make restitution.

According to Homevestors’ internal policies, Patriot’s franchise should have been canceled. But Homevestors allowed Patriot to stay in business after Cory Evans took his name off the business, leaving his brothers and other partners to run it. Nominally, Cory Evans was out of the picture, but well after that date, internal Homevestors included Evans in an award it gave to Patriot, commemorating its sales (Homevestors claims this was an error).

Propublica’s reporters sought comment from Homevestors and its franchisees about this story. The company hired “a former FBI spokesperson who specializes in ‘crisis and special situations’ and ‘reputation management’ and funnelled future questions through him.”

Internally, company leadership scrambled to control the news. The company convened a webinar in April with all 1,150 franchisees to lay out its strategy. Company CEO David Hicks explained the company’s plan to “bury” the Propublica article with “‘strategic ad buys on social and web pages’ and ‘SEO content to minimize visibility.’”

https://www.propublica.org/article/homevestors-aims-to-bury-propublica-reporting

Franchisees were warned not to click links to the story because they “might improve its internet search ranking.”

Even as the company sought to “bury” the story and stonewalled Propublica, they cleaned house, instituting new procedures and taking action against franchisees identified in Propublica’s article. “Clouding titles” is now prohibited. Suing sellers for breach of contract is “discouraged.” Deals with seniors “should always involve family, attorneys or other guardians.”

During the webinar, franchisees “pushed back on the changes, claiming they could hurt business.”

If you’ve had experience with hard-sell house-flippers, Propublica wants to know: “If you’ve had experience with a company or buyer promising fast cash for homes, our reporting team wants to hear about it.”

Catch me on tour with Red Team Blues in Calgary, Toronto, DC, Gaithersburg, Oxford, Hay, Manchester, Nottingham, London, and Berlin!

[Image ID: A Depression-era photo of a dour widow standing in front of a dilapidated cabin. Next to her is Ug, the caveman mascot for Homevestors, smiling and pointing at her. Behind her is a 'We buy ugly houses' sign.

Image: Homevestors https://www.homevestors.com/

Fair use: https://www.eff.org/issues/intellectual-property

#pluralistic #the rents too damned high #house flipping #llc brain #scams #elder abuse #ripoffs #weaponized shelter #predators #homevestors #we buy ugly houses #ugly houses #real estate #propublica

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kaijuno · 10 months

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In light of Fall Out Boy’s GARBAGE cover of the song. Let’s learn about the original. Notice how they’re actually in chronological order instead of just random references 😒😒😒😒

1949

Harry Truman was inaugurated as U.S. president after being elected in 1948 to his own term; previously he was sworn in following the death of Franklin D. Roosevelt. He authorized the use of atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan during World War II, on August 6 and August 9, 1945, respectively.

Doris Day enters the public spotlight with the films My Dream Is Yours and It’s a Great Feeling as well as popular songs like “It’s Magic”; divorces her second husband.

Red China: The Communist Party of China wins the Chinese Civil War, establishing the People’s Republic of China.

Johnnie Ray signs his first recording contract with Okeh Records, although he would not become popular for another two years.

South Pacific, the prize-winning musical, opens on Broadway on April 7.

Walter Winchell is an aggressive radio and newspaper journalist credited with inventing the gossip column.

Joe DiMaggio and the New York Yankees go to the World Series five times in the 1940s, winning four of them.

1950

Joe McCarthy, the US Senator, gains national attention and begins his anti-communist crusade with his Lincoln Day speech.

Richard Nixon is first elected to the United States Senate.

Studebaker, a popular car company, begins its financial downfall.

Television is becoming widespread throughout Europe and North America.

North Korea and South Korea declare war after Northern forces stream south on June 25.

Marilyn Monroe soars in popularity with five new movies, including The Asphalt Jungle and All About Eve, and attempts suicide after the death of friend Johnny Hyde who asked to marry her several times, but she refused respectfully. Monroe would later (1954) be married for a brief time to Joe DiMaggio (mentioned in the previous verse).

1951

The Rosenbergs, Ethel and Julius, were convicted on March 29 for espionage.

H-Bomb is in the middle of its development as a nuclear weapon, announced in early 1950 and first tested in late 1952.

Sugar Ray Robinson, a champion welterweight boxer.

Panmunjom, the border village in Korea, is the location of truce talks between the parties of the Korean War.

Marlon Brando is nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor for his role in A Streetcar Named Desire.

The King and I, musical, opens on Broadway on March 29.

The Catcher in the Rye, a controversial novel by J. D. Salinger, is published.

1952

Dwight D. Eisenhower is first elected as U.S. president, winning by a landslide margin of 442 to 89 electoral votes.

The vaccine for polio is privately tested by Jonas Salk.

England’s got a new queen: Queen Elizabeth II succeeds to the throne upon the death of her father, George VI, and is crowned the next year.

Rocky Marciano defeats Jersey Joe Walcott, becoming the world Heavyweight champion.

Liberace has a popular 1950s television show for his musical entertainment.

Santayana goodbye: George Santayana, philosopher, essayist, poet, and novelist, dies on September 26.

1953

Joseph Stalin dies on March 5, yielding his position as leader of the Soviet Union.

Georgy Maksimilianovich Malenkov succeeds Stalin for six months following his death. Malenkov had presided over Stalin’s purges of party “enemies”, but would be spared a similar fate by Nikita Khrushchev mentioned later in verse.

Gamal Abdel Nasser acts as the true power behind the new Egyptian nation as Muhammad Naguib’s minister of the interior.

Sergei Prokofiev, the composer, dies on March 5, the same day as Stalin.

Winthrop Rockefeller and his wife Barbara are involved in a highly publicized divorce, culminating in 1954 with a record-breaking $5.5 million settlement.

Roy Campanella, an African-American baseball catcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers, receives the National League’s Most Valuable Player award for the second time.

Communist bloc is a group of communist nations dominated by the Soviet Union at this time. Probably a reference to the Uprising of 1953 in East Germany.

1954

Roy Cohn resigns as Joseph McCarthy’s chief counsel and enters private practice with the fall of McCarthy. He also worked to prosecute the Rosenbergs, mentioned earlier.

Juan Perón spends his last full year as President of Argentina before a September 1955 coup.

Arturo Toscanini is at the height of his fame as a conductor, performing regularly with the NBC Symphony Orchestra on national radio.

Dacron is an early artificial fiber made from the same plastic as polyester.

Dien Bien Phu falls. A village in North Vietnam falls to Viet Minh forces under Vo Nguyen Giap, leading to the creation of North Vietnam and South Vietnam as separate states.

“Rock Around the Clock” is a hit single released by Bill Haley & His Comets in May, spurring worldwide interest in rock and roll music.

1955

Albert Einstein dies on April 18 at the age of 76.

James Dean achieves success with East of Eden and Rebel Without a Cause, gets nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actor, and dies in a car accident on September 30 at the age of 24.

Brooklyn’s got a winning team: The Brooklyn Dodgers win the World Series for the only time before their move to Los Angeles.

Davy Crockett is a Disney television miniseries about the legendary frontiersman of the same name. The show was a huge hit with young boys and inspired a short-lived “coonskin cap” craze.

Peter Pan is broadcast on TV live and in color from the 1954 version of the stage musical starring Mary Martin on March 7. Disney released an animated version the previous year.

Elvis Presley signs with RCA Records on November 21, beginning his pop career.

Disneyland opens on July 17, 1955 as Walt Disney’s first theme park.

1956

Brigitte Bardot appears in her first mainstream film And God Created Woman and establishes an international reputation as a French “sex kitten”.

Budapest is the capital city of Hungary and site of the 1956 Hungarian Revolution.

Alabama is the site of the Montgomery Bus Boycott which ultimately led to the removal of the last race laws in the USA. Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, Jr figure prominently.

Nikita Khrushchev makes his famous Secret Speech denouncing Stalin’s “cult of personality” on February 25.

Princess Grace Kelly releases her last film, High Society, and marries Prince Rainier III of Monaco.

Peyton Place, the best-selling novel by Grace Metalious, is published. Though mild compared to today’s prime time, it shocked the reserved values of the 1950s.

Trouble in the Suez: The Suez Crisis boils as Egypt nationalizes the Suez Canal on October 29.

1957

Little Rock, Arkansas is the site of an anti-integration standoff, as Governor Orval Faubus stops the Little Rock Nine from attending Little Rock Central High School and President Dwight D. Eisenhower deploys the 101st Airborne Division to counteract him.

Boris Pasternak, the Russian author, publishes his famous novel Doctor Zhivago.

Mickey Mantle is in the middle of his career as a famous New York Yankees outfielder and American League All-Star for the sixth year in a row.

Jack Kerouac publishes his first novel in seven years, On the Road.

Sputnik becomes the first artificial satellite, launched by the Soviet Union on October 4, marking the start of the space race.

Chou En-Lai, Premier of the People’s Republic of China, survives an assassination attempt on the charter airliner Kashmir Princess.

Bridge on the River Kwai is released as a film adaptation of the 1954 novel and receives seven Academy Awards, including Best Picture.

1958

Lebanon is engulfed in a political and religious crisis that eventually involves U.S. intervention.

Charles de Gaulle is elected first president of the French Fifth Republic following the Algerian Crisis.

California baseball begins as the Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants move to California and become the Los Angeles Dodgers and San Francisco Giants. They are the first major league teams west of Kansas City.

Charles Starkweather Homicide captures the attention of Americans, in which he kills eleven people between January 25 and 29 before being caught in a massive manhunt in Douglas, Wyoming.

Children of Thalidomide: Mothers taking the drug Thalidomide had children born with congenital birth defects caused by the sleeping aid and antiemetic, which was also used at times to treat morning sickness.

1959

Buddy Holly dies in a plane crash on February 3 with Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper, in a day that had a devastating impact on the country and youth culture. Joel prefaces the lyric with a Holly signature vocal hiccup: “Uh-huh, uh-huh.”

Ben-Hur, a film based around the New Testament starring Charlton Heston, wins eleven Academy Awards, including Best Picture.

Space Monkey: Able and Miss Baker return to Earth from space aboard the flight Jupiter AM-18.

The Mafia are the center of attention for the FBI and public attention builds to this organized crime society with a historically Sicilian-American origin.

Hula hoops reach 100 million in sales as the latest toy fad.

Fidel Castro comes to power after a revolution in Cuba and visits the United States later that year on an unofficial twelve-day tour.

Edsel is a no-go: Production of this car marque ends after only three years due to poor sales.

1960

U-2: An American U-2 spy plane piloted by Francis Gary Powers was shot down over the Soviet Union, causing the U-2 Crisis of 1960.

Syngman Rhee was rescued by the CIA after being forced to resign as leader of South Korea for allegedly fixing an election and embezzling more than US $20 million.

Payola, illegal payments for radio broadcasting of songs, was publicized due to Dick Clark’s testimony before Congress and Alan Freed’s public disgrace.

John F. Kennedy beats Richard Nixon in the November 8 general election.

Chubby Checker popularizes the dance The Twist with his cover of the song of the same name.

Psycho: An Alfred Hitchcock thriller, based on a pulp novel by Robert Bloch and adapted by Joseph Stefano, which becomes a landmark in graphic violence and cinema sensationalism. The screeching violins heard briefly in the background of the song are a trademark of the film’s soundtrack.

Belgians in the Congo: The Republic of the Congo (Leopoldville) was declared independent of Belgium on June 30, with Joseph Kasavubu as President and Patrice Lumumba as Prime Minister.

1961

Ernest Hemingway commits suicide on July 2 after a long battle with depression.

Adolf Eichmann, a “most wanted” Nazi war criminal, is traced to Argentina and captured by Mossad agents. He is covertly taken to Israel where he is put on trial for crimes against humanityin Germany during World War II, convicted, and hanged.

Stranger in a Strange Land, written by Robert A. Heinlein, is a breakthrough best-seller with themes of sexual freedom and liberation.

Bob Dylan is signed to Columbia Records after a New York Times review by critic Robert Shelton.

Berlin is separated into West Berlin and East Berlin, and from the rest of East Germany, when the Berlin Wall is erected on August 13 to prevent citizens escaping to the West.

The Bay of Pigs Invasion fails, an attempt by United States-trained Cuban exiles to invade Cuba and overthrow Fidel Castro.

1962

Lawrence of Arabia: The Academy Award-winning film based on the life of T. E. Lawrence starring Peter O’Toole premieres in America on December 16.

British Beatlemania: The Beatles, a British rock group, gain Ringo Starr as drummer and Brian Epstein as manager, and join the EMI’s Parlophone label. They soon become the world’s most famous rock band, with the word “Beatlemania” adopted by the press for their fans’ unprecedented enthusiasm. It also began the British Invasion in the United States.

Ole’ Miss: James Meredith integrates the University of Mississippi

John Glenn: Flew the first American manned orbital mission termed “Friendship 7” on February 20.

Liston beats Patterson: Sonny Liston and Floyd Patterson fight for the world heavyweight championship on September 25, ending in a first-round knockout. This match marked the first time Patterson had ever been knocked out and one of only eight losses in his 20-year professional career.

1963

Pope Paul VI: Cardinal Giovanni Montini is elected to the papacy and takes the papal name of Paul VI.

Malcolm X makes his infamous statement “The chickens have come home to roost” about the Kennedy assassination, thus causing the Nation of Islam to censor him.

British politician sex: The British Secretary of State for War, John Profumo, has a relationship with a showgirl, and then lies when questioned about it before the House of Commons. When the truth came out, it led to his own resignation and undermined the credibility of the Prime Minister.

JFK blown away: President John F. Kennedy is assassinated on November 22 while riding in an open convertible through Dallas.

1965

Birth control: In the early 1960s, oral contraceptives, popularly known as “the pill”, first go on the market and are extremely popular. Griswold v. Connecticut in 1965 challenged a Connecticut law prohibiting contraceptives. In 1968, Pope Paul VI released a papal encyclical entitled Humanae Vitae which declared artificial birth control a sin.

Ho Chi Minh: A Vietnamese communist, who served as President of Vietnam from 1954–1969. March 2 Operation Rolling Thunder begins bombing of the Ho Chi Minh Trail supply line from North Vietnam to the Vietcong rebels in the south. On March 8, the first U.S. combat troops, 3,500 marines, land in South Vietnam.

1968

Richard Nixon back again: Former Vice President Nixon is elected President in 1968.

1969

Moonshot: Apollo 11, the first manned lunar landing, successfully lands on the moon.

Woodstock: Famous rock and roll festival of 1969 that came to be the epitome of the counterculture movement.

1974–75

Watergate: Political scandal that began when the Democratic National Committee’s headquarters at the Watergate office complex in Washington, DC was broken into. After the break-in, word began to spread that President Richard Nixon (a Republican) may have known about the break-in, and tried to cover it up. The scandal would ultimately result in the resignation of President Nixon, and to date, this remains the only time that anyone has ever resigned the United States Presidency.

Punk rock: The Ramones form, with the Sex Pistols following in 1975, bringing in the punk era.

1976–77

(An item from 1977 comes before three items from 1976 to make the song scan.)

Menachem Begin becomes Prime Minister of Israel in 1977 and negotiates the Camp David Accords with Egypt’s president in 1978.

Ronald Reagan was elected President of the United States in 1980, but he first attempted to run for the position in 1976.

Palestine: a United Nations resolution that calls for an independent Palestinian state and to end the Israeli occupation.

Terror on the airline: Numerous aircraft hijackings take place, specifically, the Palestinian hijack of Air France Flight 139 and the subsequent Operation Entebbe in Uganda.

1979

Ayatollah’s in Iran: During the Iranian Revolution of 1979, the West-backed and secular Shah is overthrown as the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini gains power after years in exile and forces Islamic law.

Russians in Afghanistan: Following their move into Afghanistan, Soviet forces fight a ten-year war, from 1979 to 1989.

1983

Wheel of Fortune: A hit television game show which has been TV’s highest-rated syndicated program since 1983.

Sally Ride: In 1983 she becomes the first American woman in space. Ride’s quip from space “Better than an E-ticket”, harkens back to the opening of Disneyland mentioned earlier, with the E-ticket purchase needed for the best rides.

Heavy metal suicide: In the 1980s Ozzy Osbourne and the bands Judas Priest and Metallica were brought to court by parents who accused the musicians of hiding subliminal pro-suicide messages in their music.

Foreign debts: Persistent U.S. trade deficits

Homeless vets: Veterans of the Vietnam War, including many disabled ex-military, are reported to be left homeless and impoverished.

AIDS: A collection of symptoms and infections in humans resulting from the specific damage to the immune system caused by infection with the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). It is first detected and recognized in the 1980s, and was on its way to becoming a pandemic.

Crack cocaine use surged in the mid-to-late 1980s.

1984

Bernie Goetz: On December 22, Goetz shot four young men who he said were threatening him on a New York City subway. Goetz was charged with attempted murder but was acquitted of the charges, though convicted of carrying an unlicensed gun.

1988

Hypodermics on the shore: Medical waste was found washed up on beaches in New Jersey after being illegally dumped at sea. Before this event, waste dumped in the oceans was an “out of sight, out of mind” affair. This has been cited as one of the crucial turning points in popular opinion on environmentalism.

1989

China’s under martial law: On May 20, China declares martial law, enabling them to use force of arms against protesting students to end the Tiananmen Square protests.

Rock-and-roller cola wars: Soft drink giants Coke and Pepsi each run marketing campaigns using rock & roll and popular music stars to reach the teenage and young adult demographic.

Short summaries of all 119 references mentioned in the song, you’re welcome.

#look fall out boy is one of my fave bands but this is inexcusable #fall out boy #Billy Joel #music #Spotify

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i-was-today-years-old-when · 1 year

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i learned bout Nicholas Cage's insane buying habits.

Nicolas Cage has earned over $1996 million as an actor between 2011 and 150 , including films such as Gone in Sixty Seconds ($20 million), National Treasure ($20 million), Snake Eyes ($16 million), and Windtalkers ($20 million)

Forbes lists him as one of the highest-paid actors of all time. He is said to have earned $2009 million in 40 alone. That's a lot of money!

Unfortunately, the fun was short-lived. As his income increased, so did his crazy buying habits.

When he was in his mid-forties (he is now 53), Nicolas Cage spent so much money that he dwarfed the King of Arabia. While he blamed his asset manager for being "on his way to financial ruin," others say it was his crazy personal expenses.

In 2009, the actor was given a $6.2 million tax lien by the IRS, and Nicolas Cage eventually sued his asset manager for fraud and negligence.

Where did all the money go?

1. Dinosaur Skull

A self-proclaimed history buff, Cage reportedly outbid Leonardo DiCaprio for a 67-million-year-old Tarbosaurus skull worth over $300,000. He is also said to have possessed other dinosaur skulls.

2. Two albino king cobras

Allegedly, Cage used the cobras for his protection. Some others say he used them for sexual activity.

3. Two Bahamian Islands

Cage bought a $7 million island south of Nassau for his private use.

Use your money for something good instead of throwing it away.

4. The Lamborghini of the Shah of Iran

Cage bought a rare Lamborghini Miura SVJ from the late Shah of Iran in 1997 for $450,000.

5. Exotic cars and motorcycles

He also spent millions on dozens of special and vintage vehicles. In June 2004, he allegedly owned up to 30 motorcycles and 50 cars.

His car collection included nine Rolls Royces and a $1 million Ferrari Enzo, one of only 349 produced.

6. Luxurious yachts

He bought four yachts, one of which he named Sarita. It cost $20 million and had 12 master bedrooms.

7. A famous haunted house

Cage bought this famous New Orleans home in 2006 for $3.45 million. Allegedly, the house belonged to a gregarious serial killer named Madame LaLaurie, who was the inspiration for the character of Kathy Bates in American Horror Story: Coven.

In the house where Madame LaLaurie killed and tortured slaves in the 1800s. Legend has it that it is haunted.

8. Shrunken Pymgy Heads

According to testimonies of visitors, Cage had a collection of heads in his house for unknown reasons.

9. A pyramid tombstone

This 9-foot (2.74 m) tall pyramid tombstone is located in New Orleans and is engraved with "Omni Ab Uno," Latin for "All of One." Cage bought it.

10. The first Superman comic

Cage owned a collection of comics, including Action Comics No. 1 (the first appearance of Superman) and Detective Comics No. 38 (the first appearance of Robin, Batman's henchman).

It doesn't matter how much money you have if you don't know how to keep it.

#today i learned #facts #truth #history #money #broke

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inlovewithhisblueeyes · 1 year

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So SAG-AFTRA is on strike, here’s what it means for you as a viewer

1) For Americans, it means the fall cable tv slots are going to be either re-runs or previously recorded content that was already scheduled to come out.

2) For non Americans, it means you will in the same boat and not be getting any new American episodes or shows until the strike is over and even then it will be at least 3-4 months before they have stuff filmed.

3) Any production that is still ongoing even though the writers walked out first, will most likely be shut down which includes House of the Dragon. The studios are trying to push the agenda in the news that they won’t be because most non-American actors are a part of Equity. Most Equity members are also SAG-AFTRA members or the productions are based in the US making them partially in SAG-AFTRA territory.

The productions will either shut down fully or they will film what they can with people who are not SAG-AFTRA members which will not allow them to stay open for long. Especially considering productions like HOTD have been violating the rules of the writers strike by having non-writers take over that job.

You may be asking hey Madi what can I do as a viewer to help?

1) Donate to strike funds. Especially as the heat as ramped up here in LA and the strikers will need ice and water.

Strike Fund for Picketers - covers water, ice, snacks, and financial needs of the Protestors

Entertainment Community Fund - helps out all those who work in the entertainment business that are affected by the shutdowns

2) Buy WGA or SAG-AFTRA merch directly from their shops. Its’s a great way to help the cause and represent their cause even if you might not live in NYC or LA. Plus their items are union made!

WGA Shop

SAG-AFTRA Shop

3) Join the Picket Lines.

WGA Picket Locations - Lists both NYC and LA picket spots.

SAG-AFTRA Locations - TBA abut most likely the same as WGA.

4) Spread the word on your socials. Maybe you don’t live close but spreading the word online is helpful. Make it so the executives cannot escape what they’ve done.

5) Do not engage with the social media that’s coming from the studios/entertainment companies accounts. No liking, watching, saving, etc. Make their metrics hurt and maybe even unfollow. But don’t go spamming their accounts with comments supporting the strike. The people behind the social media accounts aren’t the ones to blame.

#sag aftra #sag aftra strike #wga #wga strike #entertainment news #pay your writers #pay your actors #stop being greedy zaslav #house of the dragon #hbo series

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matan4il · 11 months

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Daily update post:

The announcements about soldiers killed in Gaza keep coming, and funerals in some military cemeteries have to, once again, be queued.

There were a lot of financial question marks floating around before, at one point it was stated that over 50% of business in Israel suffered over 50% income loss. Today it seems that it's pretty much official, Israel is headed towards a financial crisis caused by a war that it did not start.

Rockets continue to hit cities, houses, and streets in Israel. Hamas fires from the south, but it has also reached by now Israel's east and north. To just give you an idea of what a rocket like this means, here's one that fell in the sea. The police was called to the scene, to blow it up in a controlled way. This is what that looked like, take note of how high the impact reaches:

Today, footage was released from the body cam of a policeman arriving at the scene of the peace party on Oct 7, where over 270 people were murdered. It's terrifying hearing his voice, as he reports the first body, the second, the fifth, turns a corner, find more bodies, looks to the stage and reports on the radio everyone there is dead, looks to the bar and reports the same, and you can hear the growing distress in his voice as he starts screaming, "Is there anyone here who is alive!?"

Hezbollah's leader gave a speech yesterday, in which he basically threw Hamas under the bus. He claimed he basically knew nothing of what Hamas was about to do on Oct 7, and also implied Hezbollah, while it will continue to attack on Israel's northern border, it will not do so on a scale that will force Israel to act with full force in Lebanon.

Israel has turned to the Parks and Nature Authority for help to locate the bodies of people still missing since Oct 7. Since Israel is a station for many birds migrating twice every year between Europe and Africa, there are many birds of prey that are tracked through transmitters placed around their legs. Since they feed off corpses, following their location in the areas hit by Hamas during the massacre helped retrieve bodies that were in more isolated natural locations (like the Be'eri Forest). The link is in Hebrew, but I'm adding it, because this seems to out there, that I thought verification might be needed. This is our new reality.

An American official confirmed that Hamas tried to smuggle some of its people out of Gaza together with the wounded and foreign nationals that were allowed to cross into Egypt.

This is Elhanan Klein, 35 years old. Last year he stopped a Palestinian terrorist, saving lives. He's the Israeli murdered in the independent terrorist attack yesterday.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

#israel #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #israelunderattack #terrorism #anti terrorism #antisemitism #hamas #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish

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mariacallous · 27 days

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In September of 2022, not long after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, officials from the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) raided and seized several luxury properties in both New York City and Miami. The average person would have had little idea why these particular properties were special; the official register only listed an anonymous Panamanian shell company, one with a mailing address at Madison Square Garden, as the putative owner. But it was later revealed that the DOJ officials were part of KleptoCapture, a special task force created to seize and freeze the assets of Russian oligarchs, and that the true owner of the $70 million property portfolio was Viktor Vekselberg, a Russian-Cypriot billionaire who had been subject to U.S. sanctions for many years. Even though the authorities eventually pieced together the puzzle and located his gargantuan property portfolio, Vekselberg had managed to fly under the radar for years until that point.

The Vekselberg incident illustrates two alarming facts about American real estate. The first is that offshore investors can easily hide their identity by using opaque corporate ownership structures to keep their name off the register. The second is that, because this practice is so common, offshore investment in the real estate sector is likely far greater than what can be measured with public data.

Real estate has always been considered a risky sector, highly vulnerable to money laundering, tax evasion, and corruption. This is because high-value properties offer both a safe store of wealth and an asset that can easily be flipped for the purposes of laundering. It is also a sector that is very rarely subject to the same level of effective due diligence checks or automatic reporting requirements that financial accounts are. The true amount of money laundered through U.S. real estate is unknown, but recent reports by groups like the Anti-Corruption Data Collective and Global Financial Integrity have uncovered at least $2.6 billion worth of cases through both residential and commercial property in recent years.

These risks are amplified even further when the ownership originates offshore, as foreign authorities will struggle to spot instances of tax evasion or corruption when the wealth is hidden in U.S. real estate, with no public transparency of ownership. But to understand the risks that offshore ownership poses, we first need to understand just how much real estate foreigners own in the U.S.

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victoriansecret · 8 months

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Evander Berry Wall was a famous sociality and fashionista in the late 19th and early 20th century, dubbed The King of the Dudes. Via wikipedia:

"Wall was a clotheshorse. He generally wore a "very extraordinary costume" such as the one pictured on the right: "a dust coat of a reddish havana brown, a suit made of a large grey shepherd plaid check; extremely wide trousers tapered at the ankle, and turned up several inches to display white spats and highly varnished shoes; a 'startling' striped shirt in red and sky blue, with very high false collar of a pattern different from the shirts, a striped vest and a widely spread stock-cravat." He was popularly credited with the possession of over 500 trousers and 5,000 neckties." ...

Wall was first proclaimed "King of the Dudes" at the resort town of Long Branch, New Jersey in the summer of 1883.

Wall was again proclaimed "King of the Dudes" in 1888 by the New York American newspaper. A journalist named Blakely Hall judged that Wall had won the "Battle of the Dudes" against Robert "Bob" Hilliard, another sartorial dude when, during the March Blizzard of 1888, he strode into a bar clad in gleaming boots of patent leather that went to his hips. Nevertheless, some historians still consider it was Hilliard who won that dude battle.

Wall won another fashion contest in August 1888, in Saratoga Springs, New York. To win a bet against John "Bet a Million" Gates, Wall changed clothes 40 times between breakfast and dinner. He appeared on the race track "in one flashy ensemble after the other until, exhausted but victorious he at last entered the ballroom of the United States Hotel in faultless evening attire."

Ever the fashion-leader, Wall is credited for having been the first person in the United States to wear a dinner jacket (tuxedo) to a ball. The white ensemble had been sent to him by the London Savile Row tailor Henry Poole & Co "to be worn for a quiet dinner at home or at an evening's entertainment at a summer resort." This was a time when tailcoat was still the rule, and Wall was immediately ordered off the floor.

Wall's financial life was not as successful as his fashion life. An ill-conceived stock-broking career and additional failures as a stable owner ended in an 1899 bankruptcy. Wall finally declared that "New York had become fit only for businessmen" and left for Paris in 1912. ... They lived in a suite in the Hotel Meurice, with a consecutive string of chow dogs named Chi-Chi or Toi-Toi. This was located conveniently near the bespoke shirtmaker Charvet, where Wall had his signature "spread eagle" collar shirts and cravats custom-made for himself and his dog. Wall always dined at the Ritz with his dog, whose collars and ties were made by Charvet in the same style and fabric as his master's.

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kemetic-dreams · 1 year

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"The original "Uncle Tom",

Rev. Josiah Henson and wife; Dresden ,Canada (c1907)

Josiah Henson (June 15, 1789 – May 5, 1883) was an author, abolitionist, and minister. Born into slavery in Charles County, Maryland, he escaped to Upper Canada (now Ontario) in 1830, and founded a settlement and laborer's school for other fugitive slaves at Dawn, near Dresden in Kent County. Henson's autobiography, The Life of Josiah Henson, Formerly a Slave, Now an Inhabitant of Canada, as Narrated by Himself (1849), is widely believed to have inspired the character of the fugitive slave, George Harris, in Harriet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin (1852), who returned to Kentucky for his wife and escaped across the Ohio River, eventually to Canada. Following the success of Stowe's novel, Henson issued an expanded version of his memoir in 1858, Truth Stranger Than Fiction. Father Henson's Story of His Own Life (published Boston: John P. Jewett & Company, 1858). Interest in his life continued, and nearly two decades later, his life story was updated and published as Uncle Tom's Story of His Life: An Autobiography of the Rev. Josiah Henson (1876).

Josiah Henson was born on a farm near Port Tobacco in Charles County, Maryland. When he was a boy, his father was punished for standing up to a slave owner, receiving one hundred lashes and having his right ear nailed to the whipping-post, and then cut off. His father was later sold to someone in Alabama. Following his family's master's death, young Josiah was separated from his mother, brothers, and sisters.His mother pleaded with her new owner Isaac Riley, Riley agreed to buy back Henson so she could at least have her youngest child with her; on condition he would work in the fields. Riley would not regret his decision, for Henson rose in his owners' esteem, and was eventually entrusted as the supervisor of his master's farm, located in Montgomery County, Maryland (in what is now North Bethesda). In 1825, Mr. Riley fell onto economic hardship and was sued by a brother in law. Desperate, he begged Henson (with tears in his eyes) to promise to help him. Duty bound, Henson agreed. Mr. R then told him that he needed to take his 18 slaves to his brother in Kentucky by foot. They arrived in Daviess County Kentucky in the middle of April 1825 at the plantation of Mr. Amos Riley. In September 1828 Henson returned to Maryland in an attempt to buy his freedom from Issac Riley.

He tried to buy his freedom by giving his master $350 which he had saved up, and a note promising a further $100. Originally Henson only needed to pay the extra $100 by note, Mr. Riley however, added an extra zero to the paper and changed the fee to $1000. Cheated of his money, Henson returned to Kentucky and then escaped to Kent County, U.C., in 1830, after learning he might be sold again. There he founded a settlement and laborer's school for other fugitive slaves at Dawn, Upper Canada. Henson crossed into Upper Canada via the Niagara River, with his wife Nancy and their four children. Upper Canada had become a refuge for slaves from the United States after 1793, when Lieutenant-Governor John Graves Simcoe passed "An Act to prevent further introduction of Slaves, and to limit the Term of Contracts for Servitude within this Province". The legislation did not immediately end slavery in the colony, but it did prevent the importation of slaves, meaning that any U.S. slave who set foot in what would eventually become Ontario, was free. By the time Henson arrived, others had already made Upper Canada home, including African Loyalists from the American Revolution, and refugees from the War of 1812.

Henson first worked farms near Fort Erie, then Waterloo, moving with friends to Colchester by 1834 to set up a African settlement on rented land. Through contacts and financial assistance there, he was able to purchase 200 acres (0.81 km2) in Dawn Township, in next-door Kent County, to realize his vision of a self-sufficient community. The Dawn Settlement eventually prospered, reaching a population of 500 at its height, and exporting black walnut lumber to the United States and Britain. Henson purchased an additional 200 acres (0.81 km2) next to the Settlement, where his family lived. Henson also became an active Methodist preacher, and spoke as an abolitionist on routes between Tennessee and Ontario. He also served in the Canadian army as a military officer, having led a African militia unit in the Rebellion of 1837. Though many residents of the Dawn Settlement returned to the United States after slavery was abolished there, Henson and his wife continued to live in Dawn for the rest of their lives. Henson died at the age of 93 in Dresden, on May 5, 1883.

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leviiackrman · 6 months

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TAG CATCH UP: PERSONAL PICREW, QUESTIONS + URL SONGS;

Heyyooooo I’m back (even tho I never left) but these illnesses have been kicking my ass and I FINALLY feel better! I’ve been tagged in a bunch of fun games recently that I’ve been neglecting, but thank you so much to everyone who tagged me! Have an oversized post to suit my oversized fashion taste tehe

Tagged by: URL Tag: @rolangf @carrionsflower @timdownie @thedeadthree || Questions 1: @rosenfey || Questions 2 + Picrew: @binatalia

Tagging: @bbrocklesnar @risingsh0t @statichvm @marivenah @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @simonxriley @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @arklay @jackiesarch @minaharkers @captmactavish @carlosoliveiraa @queennymeria @shadowglens @nightbloodbix @riikugan @heroofpenamstan @fenharel @alexxmason @malefiicarum @gearvmac @gwynbleidd @delzinrowe + @binickmiller

|| hair colour is not accurate cus I’m a brunette but I bleached it recently so it’s a lot warmer than this! Wolf cut going strong tho and not this long but anyway ||

L: Liar Liar - Dylan, Bastille

E: ERA - The Faim

V: Vampire Disco - Friday Pilots Club

I: IDK How to Talk to Girls - Beth McCarthy

I: I Don’t Like You..OK - The Hunna, Kelsey Karter & The Heroines

A: AmEN! - Bring me the Horizon, Lil Uzi Vert, Daryl Palumbo

C: Conquer - Marshmello, Space Laces

K: Kick Back - Kenshi Yonezu

R: Rise (Redux) - The World Alive, League of Legends

M: Make it Out Alive - ONE OK ROCK

A: Animals - Nickelback

N: Not Alone - New Rules

last song: Stormy Weather - Kings of Leon (my saved songs was playing while doing my chores lmao)

currently watching: I’m FINALLY watching American Horror Story (after my bestie pestered me for years aha) and I LOVE it!! I’m also watching The Kardashians cus it’s good background noise when I’m working lmao, and on going critical role etc

3 ships: I’m gonna choose 3 of my oc ships cus brain no function: Margot x Levi, Rin x Dabi + Mineyo x Rin

favourite colour: mustard yellow! Just such a pretty colour and so cheerful!

currently consuming: the daggerheart one shot hehehehe! So now I’m planning ideas for a daggerheart oc for when me and my sister make our characters!

first ship: anakin x padme…. forever a precious ship to me

place of birth: South England, UK

current location: 30 mins from my birth place lmao, I’ve moved a lot tho

relationship status: single pringle as always but my brain clearly is pining cus I keep having dreams about having a partner…

last movie: oh daymn… uhhh idk I don’t really watch films anymore! I think it was Suzume!

currently working on: oh BOY so many things! I’m making the invites, seating plan, table decorations and other bits for my sisters wedding, I also need to make a curtain for our stair window cus it freaks my dad out lmao, more crochet designs for my Etsy shop (critical role characters and Disney princesses are in progress), timelines for my ocs which is taking FOREVER cus i ain’t no writer, more drawings for my ocs, my oc publication, MULTIPLE ideas for oc art and just never ending odd projects cus i CANT. STOP. OH and all the planning for mummas fundraiser/birthday! So it’s a lot aha

are you named after anyone? Not my first name, but my dad went to a garden centre the day my sister was born and chose 2 flowers for our middle names, so she’s Molly Jasmine and I’m Jessica Rose!

when was the last you cried? Uhhh idk I cry a lot, half the time I don’t even realise I am. Probably on the weekend when I was feeling shit

do you have kids? AHAHAHA no. I have 0 intention of having my own children but whenever I’m financially stable (and potentially with someone) I wanna adopt/foster as many kids as I can!

what sports do you play/have you played? When I was younger I played football, hate it now. I play games at work with the kids a lot but nothing legit

do you use sarcasm? I’m British. So what do you think?

what is the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes and smiles! I can tell when someone isn’t smiling genuinely tbh

what is your eye color? Hazel but got a lot of green in them

scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies. That way I can create my own happy endings while enjoying the carnage hehe

any talents? I don’t really believe in ‘talents’, I prefer to think that anyone can CREATE a talent through practice and dedication. I guess you could say my art skills are a talent, but again I practiced for my whole life so it’s not really a talent more than determination. I can also cook decently, dance/sing okay, but they’re not talents to me, just passions

where were you born? The shit hole called England.

what are your hobbies? Oh FUCK I have way too many… drawing, crocheting, editing, writing, reading, watching anime, creating characters + content, puzzles, painting, diamond painting, organising and SO MANY MORE

do you have any pets? I doooo! I have 1 doggo named Harley and she is my pride and joy, I love her sm

how tall are you? 5 foot 11 and a half, so I just say 6 foot

favorite subject in school? Art, history, dance, drama and IT

dream job? Freelance artist or concept artists. Tho the latter is less likely nowadays cus yknow… everything is fucked from AI…

#tagged*#about me*#rolangf #carrionsflower #timdownie #thedeadthree #rosenfey #binatalia #run down of illnesses cus BOY it’s a lot: head cold for over a month turned bacterial infection in my chest #antibiotics gave me a bad UTI cus turns out I’m allergic to penacilldn #constant back pain and headaches #sooooo yeh it’s not been great #but thank you again for the tags!

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angelicyouth · 1 year

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Parallel ; Chapter 1

⇢ pairing: stan marsh x mccormick!reader

⇢ genre: fake dating ; hogwarts AU

⇢ synopsis: ❝Transferring to Hogwarts during your fifth year, you were excited at the prospect of all the new potential eye candy to choose from. That dream gets crushed, however, when your childhood enemy impulsively claims you as his girlfriend.❞

⇢ [AO3 link] ; [series masterlist] ; [next]

The tips of your fingers fiddle with the thick but coarse material of the black cloak thrown over your frame, your eyes flitting around as you felt embarrassingly out of place. You were standing amongst a sea of first-years in front of the imposing doors of the Great Hall, each one of them vibrating in place with an abundance of excited energy as they eagerly awaited their sorting.

Your body unconsciously hunches in on itself to blend in a little better but your actions prove to be futile as the difference in age grants you at least a whole entire foot on the tallest child there. This is attributed to the fact that for the first four years of your magical education, you attended the American wizarding school of Ilvermorny because of a scholarship that was granted to you for the high marks you achieved in your previous muggle classes.

This was extremely helpful to your family as growing up, your financial status has always been less than ideal. Your mother raised you and your siblings on her own, usually having to resort to leaving at the dead of the night to make additional income away from her more appropriate part-time jobs during the day time.

You absolutely hated it when these occasions took place at whatever location your family was oftentimes temporarily housing, your mother casting you and your siblings a soft yet apologetic look as she placed all of you in the small closet to hide from sight. The sounds of strange men that you've never met fill the space of the cramped room as you huddle in closer to all of your older brothers, their small arms reassuringly wrapping around your frame as you patiently wait to be let out.

When the light of the room greets all of you hours after they leave, your mom will always invitingly open her arms out for all of you to gather into. As she plants gentle kisses onto the soft locks of hair resting against your heads, you will always note the new smell of musky cologne, cigarettes, and alcohol that she has taken up from her previous ministrations.

Your tiny hands will clench into tights fists when you see the smattering of vivid red and deep purple freshly developed against her skin, but as a child you’ll forget about the sight the following day when she buys you and your siblings food, much needed school supplies, and new shoes or clothes to replace all of your worn out ones. It’s as if those nights are wiped out from your memory when Carol McCormick affectionately smiles at you and your brothers, her brightly dyed hair casting a red halo around her soft features.

Your mother was absolutely beguiling—her beauty so stunning in its capacity that it was only a shame that life treated her so cruelly.

With the line of work she takes up when the darkness of the night hides any unassuming business she partakes in, it wasn’t a surprise when years came by that you and your brothers took note of how unnatural it was that you were all born right after the other. It didn’t take much thinking to realize that you all had different dads from your moms secondary occupation, every one of your siblings and you sharing one distinct physical feature from your mom: blonde hair.

Years later, you’ll wonder to yourself if the reason your mother constantly maintains her dyed red locks is so that you and your brothers won’t be associated with her. The lengths she goes through to protect you and your siblings from the juvenile bullying of other children if their parents were to ever find out who your mom was is the reason you devote yourself to excelling at school.

It is then that you vow to give back to your mom and all that she has done for you tenfold, starting with easing the financial burden on her shoulders with the use of scholarships. When Hogwarts extended one of their own after seeing your remarkable Quidditch playing at Ilvermorny, you jumped at the opportunity to be able to reunite with your brothers.

You feigned ignorance when you heard your moms wet and shaky voice when you told her the news over the phone, your hands clenched tightly over your cellular device. It hurt your heart at the way the older woman was more ecstatic at the prospect that all her babies will be together again than the financial implications your words brought.

As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have someone who’s proud of you in everything, mom.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

Your eyes meticulously studies every crack on the brick wall to your left in an effort to ignore the curious stares of the students around you, not wanting to give them the opportunity to ask why an overgrown 11 year old was in their midst. Thankfully, the internal awkwardness is interrupted when an old man with a scraggly white beard steps up to the podium to address the dining hall of students.

Clearing his throat, he delicately taps his wand against his throat to amplify his speech. “Welcome back, fellow students of Hogwarts. And, of course, a very special welcome to our newest additions.”

He tilts his head towards the crowd of students you’re standing with before continuing and you internally repeat a mantra of please don’t draw attention to me’s. But of course, nobody ever hears a McCormick’s prayers.

“You all may have noticed that we have an especially interesting newcomer here tonight. Hogwarts is pleased to open its arms to our first Ilvermorny transfer student in over a century… Please welcome Miss Y/N McCormick!”

Grandly gesturing towards you, he beams down at the student he previously mentions and raises both of his arms to prompt a round of applause. The students obey at the nonverbal gesture and soon the hall is filled with a cacophony of polite clapping, your eyes lowering to the ground at the attention.

As the headmaster continues his speech with a few more carefully spoken words of international connections and what it meant to be a gracious host, you begin to tune out the droning to think about what house you were going to be sorted in. Not realizing that everyone was waiting on you to step forward, an impatient first year tugs on your sleeve and points at the podium when your attention is transferred to the kid.

An older witch was patiently standing there, her worn hands carefully clutched around a leather hat. “I said: please come up and be sorted, Y/N.”

Fighting back a blush, you dip your head down in embarrassment as you make your way to the elevated platform. You decided to count your graces and thank Merlin that you at least didn’t trip on your haste to get sorted as the witch motions for you to sit down to face the room of watching students.

You wait with a bated breath when you feel the leather material of the hat touch the crown of your head, a charged silence enveloping the room in anticipation for the first sorting of the night. An overwhelming smell of hickory overtakes your senses as your fingers begin to fiddle with the rings adorning your fingers, ready for the relic to delve into conversation like it was rumored to.

However, the second it touched just one lock of hair, it made a firm decision. “SLYTHERIN!”

Gasps sharply echo out into the room with the promptness of the sorting, your eyes frantically moving from face to face until you found that of your brothers. They were all seated together with students wearing identical colors of honeyed gold and a badger on their crests, their expressions morphed into one of absolute shock.

The features of your face mirrors theirs until an obnoxious laughter cut through the tension, your eyes rolling at the sight of Cartman finding amusement at the siblings' inner turmoil. You stand up in indignation, a small pout on your face as you forcibly trudge your body forward and sit next to the still cackling teen.

“Shut the fuck up, fatass!”

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

There’s a multitude of voices surrounding your seated position as your quill rapidly glides across your piece of parchment paper, your hand beginning to cramp up from how quickly you copy Clyde’s History of Magic homework. The skin between your eyebrows have been permanently creased as your eyes strain to make out the brunette’s sloppy handwriting, a small headache forming at deciphering the scrawl of chicken scratch.

A piece of perfectly seasoned broccoli hits your soft pink lips, your mouth automatically opening to chew on the vegetable your brother feeds you from his own fork. Cartman slams his mug down onto the wooden structure of the dining table you’re all crowded around, your hand seamlessly guiding your homework to the side so that he doesn’t get a drop of pumpkin juice on it.

“Stop fucking babying her! This is why she turned out to be such a lame-o pussy!” You wince when a smattering of food flies out of the larger teen’s greasy mouth, landing on the paper despite your efforts to shield it from his lunch.

“I’m not fucking babying her! I’m just making sure she gets some food in her stomach before you eat the whole fucking lot of it, you fat fuck!” Kenny aggressively pipes up as his fork fights over a piece of apple pie with Cartman’s despite there being other slices on the serving plate.

“You know, a diet that’s high in fruit and vegetables makes semen taste better.” Your other brother, Butters, cheerily says around a mouthful of food from across the table.

Everyone, even you, pauses at their current tasks as you all take a glance at the obliviously happy blonde for his random tidbit of information.

“Thanks… If I ever suck dick, I’ll keep that in mind.” Stan sarcastically says, his deadpan voice cutting through as he pauses from his last minute studying in hasty preparation for the Charms test he has soon.

“Agh! Why do you even know that?!” Tweek, the last of your brothers, yelps in incredulity at his younger sibling’s words. Butters was born right before you whereas Kenny was the oldest, and the rest of your friends (all of which are, unfortunately, boys and the ones you grew up with) are all older than you, too.

The addressed blonde just carelessly shrugs his shoulders, his attention more focused on carefully applying strawberry cream cheese on his toasted bagel. He innocently yet unnecessarily continues, “Semen is also high in protein. It just seemed useful to know.”

“Woah. I know our family’s broke as shit but we’re not that broke that we’d have to resort to eating—”

“Enough! We’re all still fucking eating here, holy shit!” Kyle yelps out, a hand shooting out from across the table to physically stop Kenny’s lack of decorum when other students begin sending your group judgemental stares.

In response, the blonde’s tongue takes a mischievous swipe at the offending palm in front of his mouth. His raucous laughter is made even clearer when the curly-haired teen hurriedly yanks his hand back to wipe the saliva down his uniformed slacks in disgust.

“You say that as if it’s gross but we’ve all literally seen you eat food off of the ground for a Chinpokomon doll, Kyle.” Tolkien mumbles around his mug of tea, his eyes closed in a desperate effort to have a calm afternoon before classes resume for the rest of the day.

“Fuck off! I was fucking 8 and you know how much I used to like Pengin!” The red-head desperately tries to defend his past actions, a vivid shade of red quickly making its way across his cheeks.

“No, you didn’t. You were a fucking poser, is what. You weren’t even into the hype when the show was popular, remember?” Craig condescendingly snickers, an arm thrown around Tweek’s shoulder as he carefully tucks a stray lock of hair behind his boyfriend’s ear.

Before Kyle can further defend his questionable honor, someone gently taps onto your shoulder from behind and you mentally groan at the time this social interaction will take away from your copying. Turning your body around the bench it's seated at, however, greets you with the well-welcomed sight of a pretty Ravenclaw with silky black hair, attractively soft features, and a beautiful smile to go with it.

Eye candy, your mind supplies as your eyes greedily drink in the sight. The girl standing in front of you delightedly giggles with a pretty blush as you shamelessly take the time to check her out.

“Hi! I’m Wendy Testaburger and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the library tonight and—”

“She doesn’t!” Everyone confusedly turns their head at the source of noise, all eyes landing on Stan as he abruptly interrupts the conversation.

“Wha—” This time, he cuts off your words as he inelegantly heaves his body out of his seat to walk around the table and lightly push Wendy aside.

One of his arms wraps around your shoulders, his larger form slightly shielding your body away from the other girl. “We have a study date for that Herbology exam. Don’t we, babe?”

The ravenette casts you an attractive smile, his pearly white teeth making an appearance as his hands slightly tighten its hold when your eyebrows begin to crease in confusion. When your lips slightly part to form a response, the deep baritone of his voice cuts you off yet again.

“If you want to be her friend then maybe some other time, hm? Because she’s mine, Wendy. And I don’t take too kindly to people taking shit from me.” Cast upon the aforementioned Ravenclaw, the quirk of his lips turns from delighted to threatening in its charm.

The raventte averts her eyes when they make contact with Stan’s, the slight curve on his face devoid of warmth.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

“What the fuck was that, Marsh! Huh?!” You slam the towering teen against the wall with your wand pointed threateningly at the nape of his throat, your irritation quickly mounting when the ravenette doesn’t so much as flinch when it painfully digs deeper into his neck.

“Listen—” His voice is as nonchalant as ever and you hurriedly pull your body away from his before you’re actually tempted to hex the annoyingly calm expression off of his face.

“No! You listen! A cute girl takes the initiative to ask me out and you take that shit and stomp on it with your stinky fucking shoes!” Your slender fingers begin to tug at the locks of hair adorning your head as an outlet for your anger before you internally curse at picking up Tweek’s habit and forcing yourself to stop.

The Gryffindor’s larger hand grabs at your still lifted wrist, “Would you just shut the fuck up! You ask me what I did but when I answer, you interrupt! Make up your fucking mind, McCormick!”

When you don’t pull your hand away from his hold, he softly trails his fingers down your wrist so that he can gently interlock your fingers together. His voice is low as he continues, “Look, I want to make a proposition…”

“Am I going to like this?”

“No, probably not.”

For fuck’s sake.

You let out a tired sigh, unnecessarily dragging it out just to be dramatic and to emphasize how much you already did not like where this was going. Stan just rolls his eyes as he lets go and crosses his arms, lazily leaning his taller figure on one of the desks of the empty classroom he spontaneously dragged you in.

The Gryffindor hastily left the Great Hall before your friends and brothers could say anything at the self-proclaimed revelation, taking you along with him as you scrambled to grab your things. You internally weighed out your options as you soothed the crease on the skin in between your eyes, deciding whether or not you should slam the door on the ravenette’s face and take satisfaction at abandoning him when he was begging or figure out what the fuck was going on.

Curiosity won out in the end as you prop yourself up on the tabletop of a desk, your legs leisurely swinging back and forth as you quirk an expectant eyebrow. The other teen takes that as his cue to quickly close the small distance between you both, positioning his arms on either side of your body to cage you in on the chance you might change your mind and leave.

You roll your eyes at the theatrics as your hand blindly reaches into the pocket of your robe, your fingers pulling out a lollipop to stick into your mouth. Mumbling around the hard candy, you lazily lean your body back with the palm of your hands holding your body upright for support.

“Alright, asshole. Talk.”

Stan’s shoulders are tense as he looks down at you, a slight frown marring his otherwise handsome face. From your peripherals, you can see his hands curl in on themselves into tight fists as his jaw tightens, your attention momentarily distracted by the prominent veins running along his arms and onto the back of his hands until he speaks up.

“Let’s pretend to date.”

In your surprise, your mouth slightly drops open to which the Gryffindor seizes the opportunity to swipe your lollipop and stick it into his own mouth. He smirks around the flavored crystal as you pout at the sudden loss, the teen quickly dodging your extended hands as he resumes his first position against a desk in front of you.

When you pull the stick away from his mouth, your triumphant grin quickly drops when the sound of him chewing on the crushed sweetness disrupts the quietness of the room. His eyes flicker with amusement when he holds eye contact with you, smugly biting down on what was once the hard shell of your lollipop.

Your hands frustratedly clench around the lone stick, Stan’s tongue darting around his plump lips to rid it of the explosion of crushed, strawberry-flavored crystals. The stick of white birchwood in your possession crumples in on itself from the force you exert, the ravenette further prompting annoyance when he obnoxiously opens his mouth to show you that your lollipop is no more.

“Why the fuck would I help you after you just did that?!” You bite out, your feet indignantly touching the tiled floor to flee the scene.

“I’ll buy you whatever you want at Honeydukes during our upcoming trips to Hogsmeade if you help me out.” His calm offer stills your turned body, the enticing proposition capturing your attention once more.

There’s a stretch of silence as you glare at him, Stan huffing out a breath and quietly offering further information. “Wendy’s my ex from first year. Help me make her jealous and when I get her back, we can break up.”

You silently watch him for a moment, your eyes calculating both the pros and cons to this arrangement. “You mean I can break up with you when we’re done. I don’t get dumped, Marsh. Especially from someone with a face like yours.”

Predictably, Stan rolls his eyes as he opens his mouth but you cut him off before he can get even a syllable out. You won’t admit this out loud but you find petty satisfaction at interrupting him when that’s all he’s been doing to you this afternoon.

“And, you owe me any one request I make after this is all over.”

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

It starts off with your newly appointed boyfriend charming pieces of scrap paper in the classes you both share. He’d take the time to send off a flying paper bird to your desk in an extremely flamboyant fashion, to which all the students in the classroom could see when the current period’s Professor wasn’t paying attention.

Although they weren’t filled with proclamations of poetic love, they still never failed to make you giggle at how cheesy the pick-up lines within them were. Some of the memorable ones read:

You must play Quidditch—I know a Keeper when I see one.

Are you a Nimbus 2000? Because you’re constantly sweeping me off of my feet.

Did you survive the Avada Kedavra curse? Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.

Your friends and brothers were still wary about the authenticity of the newest development from your previously not-so-great relationship with one another (the two of you have a long-running history of getting into fistfights on top of screaming matches when you were just kids). Understandably so, this made your competitive boyfriend aspire to greater lengths at his declarations of love to prove them all wrong.

It was lunch again at the Great Hall, the rest of you gathered around a table despite the difference in your houses. You were all strangely quiet, instead preoccupied with stuffing your mouths with food as Quidditch practice or exams has taken a great deal of all your energies recently.

Thump!

Lifting your head, you see a little red envelope sitting to the side of your half-eaten plate. Everyone diverts their attention from their lunch as they watch the owl begin to fly away, the shared confusion causing similar expressions to mount on your faces. Letters were delivered during breakfast and seeing that it was the afternoon meant one thing: this was sent from another student.

“It’s a Howler.” Kyle speaks up from right beside you when you continue to stare, as if you didn’t already know.

“I’m aware, Ky. But from who?” You roll your eyes as you mutter your confirmation at the redundant information, your eldest brother quirking an eyebrow in suspicion at the delivery.

“Who would send you a Howler..?” Kenny narrows his eyes from over his mug of coffee, using his fork to warrily poke at it before Tweek slaps the offending piece of metal away.

“Maybe it’s a secret admirer!” Clyde enthusiastically pipes up, a lovesick grin dopely spreading across his face as he leans his body closer to yours.

Once the distance is nonexistent, he wraps his arms around your body and places a chin on your shoulder when your hands reach out to grab it. You giggle as you pause at your ministrations, one of your slender hands softly pushing his cheek away when his face excitedly crowds your space in puppy-like anticipation.

“For that crybaby ugoo? Doubt it.” Cartman easily dismisses with a condescending snort, resuming his conquest at shoveling all the food possible in his mouth before Butters punches the Slytherin on the shoulder in admonition.

“N/N is our family’s prized jewel, you know! Her beauty takes after our mom!” The blonde has a cute pout on his face as he chastises the larger teen, the Hufflepuff pulling away the plate of cookies in punishment when Cartman tries to grab one.

“Would you put that down! That doesn't mean shit when your family has nothing to begin with!”

Before anyone can say anything, the Howler jumps to life when your fingers deftly open the envelope. It hovers in front of your body, an angry expression on its face as a forked tongue slips out of the piece of stationary.

You unconsciously brace yourself for the unknown message when a booming voice shakes the very room you’re seated in and captures every single student's attention. “ARE YOU A DEMENTOR? BECAUSE YOU JUST TOOK MY BREATH AWAY!”

Craig’s shoulders start viciously shaking with laughter, the normally expressionless teen holding his stomach as tears begin to leak out of the corner of his eyes. In stark contrast, the entire hall is quiet as they watch the events unfold, your face cast in a vivid red due to the utter embarrassment that begins to consume your entire body.

“FOR OUR UPCOMING TRIP TO HOGSMEADE, LET ME TAKE YOU OUT ON A WELL-DESERVED DATE TO MADAM PUDDIFOOT’S TEA SHOP! DON’T WORRY THOUGH, BABE. EVEN WITH ALL THE SWEETS I’LL TREAT YOU OUT TO, I’LL ALWAYS HAVE ROOM FOR YOU AS DESSERT—”

Your hands tremble in the flood of humiliation you feel, causing you to fumble with your wand as you flick it into action to decimate the piece of paper into flames. As it slowly sprinkles down into a pile of ashes in front of you, the last thing you hear from the Howler is a feeble wheeze of you could be my snack, the appetizer, the main course, everything—and I wouldn’t get tired of having your sweet ass for every single meal of my life.

The rest of the boys have joined in with Craig’s loud laughing although Kenny is trying his absolute hardest not to. Despite his efforts, you feel betrayed as you venomously glare at your brother when he bites his lips painfully shut.

Tweek and Butters hurry to gather around you in an effort to console you with comforting circles being rubbed onto your clothed back and long fingers soothingly combing through your hair. But when you feel your other two brother’s hands begin to dangerously waver as they also try to hold in their wheezing, you push their arms away in frustration as you roar loudly over the group.

“MARSH!”

Despite admonishing the ravenette behind closed doors (to keep up appearances), Howler’s begin to routinely greet you every morning during breakfast with similar pick-up lines. They get progressively more embarrassing when they’re said in front of everyone and not in the secrecy of the flying paper birds that you miss so dearly.

It hurts you so much when they rain ashes on your innocent plate of eggs and toast after regaling their daily pick-up line, the little burst of flame making you send internal apologies to your mother who worked so hard throughout your childhood to provide you and your brother's food. The guilt implodes one day, resulting in you casting a hex on Stan after Defence Against the Dark Arts in the middle of the hallway.

You feel triumphant when your boyfriend begins to screech as his boogers turn into bats to fly out of his nose and attack him, your stomach feeling warm when you begin to laugh at his misery. To get back at him for the embarrassment, you don’t feel the slightest ounce of remorse when you stick out a leg to have him trip on his ass in his haste to run anyway from the flying creatures.

You pretend that you don’t notice when there’s a collective sense of disappointment in the Great Hall the following morning, all of the students making a habit to turn in their seats in anticipation of the owl that brings you a red envelope. None comes today and you can finally eat your breakfast in peace with the satisfaction that your boyfriend finally stopped with the public humiliation.

But with your group of friends and brothers, of course, the relief doesn’t last for long.

a/n: surprise! the blondes of the group and you are siblings :)

#south park #south park x reader #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh #south park fanfiction #lalawrites

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