#Friday thankfully had better news and ended on a positive and saturday while tiring was a fun bday party for a 1yo

[mellaithwen]

I hope something good happens to you soon and I want you to know you are loved 💜💜

welp thank you so much anon 🥺 and the same to you! 💙 this week was uh…something else 😩

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 50: Te puedo escuchar

AUTHOR NOTE: This chapter was based on the song by Anahi called "The puedo escuchar” that means “I can hear you”.

This chapter might also contain some subjects that might be a trigger for some.

---

To say that Carol's humour was getting better and better by each passing day was the understatement of the year. As the second trimester was looming just a few days away, Harry was getting his girlfriend back.

And actually enjoying her pregnancy.

The love they felt for their unborn child was the strongest experience both had felt in their lives and they knew that they were a team from now on and compromised to be the best possible parents they could be.

They were conversing a lot about their dreams for their child. Harry wanted a girl desperately and Carol felt it was a boy... and they decided to find out when the baby was born.

They were talking about names and Carol was set to name him Henry (should it be a boy) and Harry wanted to name her Carolina (should it be a girl). Carol had gone shopping for maternity clothing as her bump was now impeding all her trousers to close and her breasts were getting bigger. She thought about buying some baby clothing as well, but she had promised Harry that they'd do the first shopping together (at least for the first items and the most important things).

As marriage wasn't on their foreseeable future, this baby wouldn't have a place in the line of succession.

And after many conversations, they decided it'd be better to keep it this way. Of course, they knew that most ghastly people would call their child a bastard but if it meant that no strings would be attached to this kid's future, they'd be game. Even if (and that's a big if) they decided to get married before the birth, the child wouldn't have any royal titles.

Harry had already asked his Grandmother for a private appointment in two weeks and decided to go by himself. The plan was: tell the Queen privately, then his father and then his brother. He knew that afterwards the Queen would request a private meeting with Carol before she let the courtiers know.

They had their speech known by heart and decided what was non-negotiable for them and what they'd be willing to accept should The Crown request. And Harry was counting on his grandmother managing skills to be sensible and understanding and not imposing things that'd make their lives really complicated. They'd show up as a united front and both against the protocols and rules of Harry's family.

Harry was asking Carol to take it slow at work... she was still practically living at the office – as always - and he understood why but now she had a whole team to manage, whose job was to back her up so she needn't to stay there more than eight hours a day.

She didn't really pay attention to his pleas... thinking that he wasn't used to working mums... lots of women did it every day and she wasn't really doing things that'd put their baby at risk. In order to avoid a fight, she'd always give evasive responses to him.

Except today she wasn't feeling well ever since she woke up at Kensington Palace where she had spent the night before. They had gone out to have dinner – thankfully still not spotted – and had amazing sex afterwards. She woke up feeling extremely tired and with a terrible headache. Dismissing it as some of the not-so-nice symptoms, she got ready for the day and left before Harry woke up, Bill driving her to work.

She texted Agnes asking what she could take for the headache and got a quick response of:

A: Headache again? That's the third time this week. I am changing your appointment to tomorrow morning just in case.

Not wanting Harry to get worried, she just texted him the new date and time for next appointment without giving him many details as to why they were anticipating it. She took lots of water and worked at a dimmed office until noon. She tried to remember how she had spent the week before and couldn't remember a day where she didn't feel like she had been run over by a truck or in ache.

She finally saw Harry's point as to why she should start working regular hours instead of the 14-16 she was usually working. Giving up on working at the office and taking into consideration it was Friday, she just let her boss and team know she would be working from home and would be back next Monday.

She took a cab not wanting to bother Bill to come and get her and let Harry know that she was going home and that he should stop by in the evening so they could be together. He was at an engagement and took a while to reply and when he did, was something like: "Will be there. x"

She arrived at home just past 1:00 pm and took another long shower. She applied lotion on her body and took a picture to register how her bump was showing today. She picked her favourite pyjamas of white shirt and shorts from the dryer and got dressed. Quickly fixing something to eat afterwards.

After she ate, she went to her bedroom and sat half leaning on bed board with her laptop on searching for a last-minute flight ticket to Brazil that wouldn't cost her a fortune. She couldn't tell her mother she was pregnant by the phone or video call. Although she knew Maria would be disappointed, she wanted to look into her mother's eyes and say it.

Perhaps, after the initial shock diminished, she'd be able to ask her mom for advice and they'd book Maria's tickets to come and stay with Carol (wherever she'd be living at the time) at the end of pregnancy and first weeks with the baby. She couldn't do it without her mother and she wouldn't.

Caressing her bump, while waiting for emails to come in so she could finalise a few reports and reschedule meetings, she was also reading pregnancy forums about when she could expect to feel the baby move for the first time. She was 11 weeks and 6 days today and was wondering how long it'd take until she could feel the first movements.

She didn't know when and how she fell asleep, she only slightly remembered that her migraine had gotten the best of her. She half woke up with Harry's voice calling her and the noise of his keys locking the door.

She tried to get up and greet him, but she couldn't. She tried to move and her brain only registered pain and still, she didn't have the strength to call for him or wonder why she was feeling this way. It was like her consciousness was coming and going all the time and she couldn't quite grasp the sense of fear. She only wanted to close her eyes and sleep some more.

"Darling?" he called cheerily and she was so very sleepy still that she didn't respond. She had this uneasy feeling on her bump and her eyelids were too heavy to keep open.

She heard when he entered her bedroom and felt his perfume. She smiled at the sound of his teasing.

"Now that's a good life... napping since mid-afternoon." he said, supporting his fists on either side of her body and kissing her temple. "Are you hungry?"

"A little..." she mumbled, her voice weak. Harry took off his jacket and tie and started telling her how the engagements of the day had gone and noticed that she was extremely quiet and sort of unresponsive.

"Carol?" he called for her, sitting by her side on the bed. She didn't reply.

Thinking it was odd, he called her again with no response. He almost left the room assuming she was just tired and needed to sleep a few more hours and determined to get their dinner ordered, he got up and he was taken by a feeling of warning and stopped in the middle of the room.

TRIGGER WARNING:

Dreading it, he turned on the light and the scene before his eyes hurt more than a punch in the gut. He felt all air vanishing from his lungs, the walls closing in, his heart breaking into a million pieces and for a few seconds, he didn't know what to do. He just couldn't afford to not do anything.

He realised Carol wasn't sleeping, she had probably passed out.

Her laptop was still on the bed and she was laying on a fetal position. He approached her, checking her pulse. Her blood pressure was obviously low as she was pale and unresponsive, but what had Harry scared for life was the giant vivid red spot on her white shorts and on the duvet. She had some dried stains on her legs as well.

"No, no, no, no..." he was on the brink of losing it but he had to something. "Carol, wake up. Please, Carol. Wake up." He was gently shaking her and caressing her face.

A little blood is normal, isn't it?

That's not a little, his mind replied.

"Carol... Carol... CAROL!" he yelled, his eyes burning with unshed tears. "Wake up, Carolina!"

He got his phone calling Agnes right away, not knowing what to do.

"Hello, Harry..." Agnes said, immediately thinking he was calling to ask why she had scheduled an appointment on a Saturday.

"Agnes, Carol's bleeding. Like... a lot." he said, making sure her body was turned on her left side, should she puke. "I just got here, Agnes and I don't know what to do. I think she fainted and she's not waking up."

"Get her to St Mary's. NOW!" Agnes said. She was about to leave for the day and went back into her office and changed clothes, already shouting orders and forming a team of nurses to prepare secured a room as an emergency was coming in. She promptly got Carol's file and read it all again, everything was as normal as it should be, except for the excessive tiredness and the headaches.

Without needing to be told twice, Harry got Carol's wallet and checked for her ID and health insurance details. He got her phone and grabbed a coat for her to use later. He was trying to convince himself that this was just a scare and that they'd be back home later.

He called for Bill who was waiting for him outside the flat and as carefully as he could he lifted her from the bed, getting himself stained as well, but he didn't care. He needed to save his girl and their child. Running with her through the steps as it'd be faster than the lift, Bill widened his eyes when he saw Harry leaving the building with Carol.

"St Mary's!" Harry yelled placing Carol on the back seat and jumping on the front seat. Bill had the car in motion before Harry even closed the door. Now worried as to why Carol was bleeding, but knowing this was not the right time to ask anything.

Normally it'd take 11 minutes from Carol's to St. Mary's, which Bill drove in almost 5, breaking an endless number of traffic laws. He parked at the back entrance and Harry was out in a flash, scooping Carol on his arms and trying to wake her up again whilst climbing the stairs of the Maternity wing.

He heard Agnes before he saw her, she was pacing the reception and she pointed to a room closing the door behind them. Harry put Carol on the bed and was out of the way when Agnes started to carefully and quickly examine Carol's condition.

There were three nurses in the room that were doing things at full speed by Agnes' orders. He saw how quickly they'd had hooked an IV of fluids on her hand and meanwhile the other was preparing the meds.

Harry was half relieved that she hadn't asked him to get out – everyone knew he'd be spotted and they shouldn't have added stress on this situation. At the same time, he felt so powerless watching other people taking care of the woman he loved without him being able to do anything else but stay away and let them work. He stayed on the corner of the room, and let them know many times that if they needed help, he was there to see to it.

Agnes then started the ultrasound machine, cleaning as best as she could all the blood to see the baby. She positioned Carol's legs and got the trans-vaginal stick and the now-familiar for him black screen appeared over her head. Harry was watching closely, hoping and praying for the best. He knew that the circumstances weren't favourable, but they were strong. They'd get past this and this would be just a scare.

He was looking at the screen with everything in him asking for his baby to be OK. There was the embryo and he saw Agnes pressing lots of buttons and her face getting more and more concerned by the minute. She re-positioned the stick and tried again, asking something from one of the nurses.

"Is everything alright?" Harry asked. "I can see the embryo. Is it alright?" he had hope in his eyes, he knew it was going to be ok.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Agnes said. "There's no longer a heartbeat."

"You left without notice / I looked for you and you weren't there anymore"

The room went silent for a minute that felt like an eternity.

"Are you sure?" Harry said looking from Carol to Agnes and the screen. "Have you looked closely? You always say sometimes it's difficult to catch a heartbeat."

"Fate wanted it that way / But your soul won't leave"

"At the beginning, yes. But she was almost on her twelfth week. This should be easy to catch."

"It can't be, Agnes. We had an appointment tomorrow. You said everything was fine. Why isn't she waking up?" Harry was clearly nervous and had a million thoughts crossing his mind.

Agnes powered off the ultrasound, scribbled something on a paper and asked the nurses to do something and went to Harry.

"I was seeing the embryo... How come?" Harry asked.

"Unfortunately that is not the embryo. That's some residual tissue of the pregnancy." Agnes took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Harry. But Carol has miscarried the baby."

"You were my accomplice in dreams / We knew that one day / United we would fly"

Harry's world went completely still. This couldn't be happening right now.

The tears started to fall before he could hold them in. He looked at Carol, still pale, hooked to IV and with nurses around her and that unmistakable stain on his shirt, arms, trousers told him that this was really happening.

He couldn't keep his family safe.

He had failed them and this pain was shattering his whole being. He had just lost his child and he didn't know what to do about it. He never properly learned how to mourn and grieve.

Losing his mum and grandpa had been fucking hard and horrible but nothing would ever be compared to the searing pain of losing a child.

"I know your wings will stay with me / That from Heaven your hug is my shelter / divine angel take care of me from evil"

His child, his baby.

The one he had made plans for. The one he wanted to hold on his arms and teach things.

The one that had turned his world upside down.

Gone.

He no longer would be a father.

"I know I walk with your company / With your voice my days are brightened / Although your door today is beyond / I can hear you"

The sound of his sob took over the room and Agnes hugged him. He cried and sobbed not caring for a single moment of who was there. Not caring that he was a prince and member of the Royal Family. Not caring he had been taught to always hide his feeling. At that moment he was just a father who had lost his child.

"I'm sorry, Harry." Agnes said, trying her best to support him as she knew that not many people were aware of the pregnancy and that they probably wouldn't have a shoulder to cry on.

"Why?"

"I can't answer that now, but I will ask for some exams to be made and try to correlate with the symptoms she was complaining about, but you should know that this is more common than you think. Most of the time we don't have any factor showing us as to why. Sometimes its just nature taking its course."

He was out of the embrace and thanked Agnes, without really knowing what or why he was thanking her for.

"I will have to intervene with medication so we can finish this process as quickly and respectfully as we can. Also so we can guarantee that we won't have any damage to her uterus and that pain will be minimal."

"Why hasn't she woken up?" he asked, voice filled with sadness.

"I remember you very close to me / Sharing your peace / So much joy it was to see you / I won't forget to love you / I still have tears"

"She probably had a case of irregular blood pressure variation during the day. Apparently it went too high and too low in a matter of hours – so her body, to try and estabilize it, kind of shut down. Now I've just given her something to keep her asleep, so we can finish the process."

Agnes gave a gentle squeeze on Harry's hand and apologising went back to work.

He sat on a chair and watched, letting the numbness of the pain take over him. Tears were flowing freely and he didn't want to leave her side for a second. If Carol would have to endure all of this, he might as well be by her side and watch. He didn't care about the fact that he was torturing himself to sit back and watch the woman he loved in that situation. But he didn't want her to wake up alone at a hospital without knowing their child had died.

"Your name is written in every book / In each verse I feel you sing / Your hand takes me directly to your shadow / And I know that one night I will find you"

(...)

"Harry?" Carol's voice was hoarse and weak.

He jumped out of the sofa he was laying on her private suite and went to her side. He held her hands.

"I'm here, my love." he said, kissing her temple and breathing relieved for the first time after they had been admitted to the hospital.

"Where am I?" she asked looking around and focusing on his eyes. She saw nothing but pain and fear there and those feelings took over.

"We're in the hospital, darling." He replied, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Hospital, why?" she asked. "What's going on, Harry?"

"What do you remember?"

"I was home working and with a migraine and then everything went black. I remember some flashes of pain and your voice..." Carol looked at him. "Harry, please, tell me what's wrong. Is our baby ok?"

He took a deep breath and couldn't find the words in him to answer that question. From now on he'd need to be her rock and her safe place and he knew it, but his heart was broken and he was about to break hers. New tears formed on his eyes and he shook his head.

"NO, NO, NO, NO...." she was scared and shocked. "WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR BABY. PLEASE THIS ISN'T FUNNY."

"Darling..." Harry hugged her. "I'm sorry, my love."

"Sorry about what, Henry?" she untangled herself from his embrace. "What happened with our baby? Why are you making this up?"

"Carol..." Harry said crying. "Our baby passed away this evening. We had a miscarriage."

"Nooooooooooooooooo" Carol's cries and shriek brought a cold feeling to Harry's gut. "YOU'RE LYING. IT. CAN'T. BE."

She put her hand on her belly, feeling it way different than this morning, looking the to the IV hooked on her hand, her hospital gown.

"Maybe they're wrong. I am still pregnant. I know it, Harry. Stop making this prank... it's not fun." Carol said and Harry shook his head again, showing her that this wasn't a nightmare. This was the cruel reality and he wouldn't dare to joke on something like this.

"Why?" she was full-on sobbing whilst the truth and the weight of his words were slowly cutting through her heart and mind and body. She was sore, the damn headache still in place. Her stomach had somewhat deflated and she was determined to not believe in his words.

"We don't know for sure, but it happened. I arrived at your place and you were passed out." Harry said, trying to touch her hand.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed and her sobs now louder and she was trashing on the bed to get as far from his as possible. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, HARRY. HOW DARE YOU TO TELL ME MY BABY HAS DIED!!"

Agnes entered the room at that moment, having heard Carol's voice three corridors down and knowing this wouldn't be easy.

"Carol, please try to calm down. You're still weak and need your rest."

The doctor checked her signals on the machine nearby and approached the bed, caressing Carol's head and kissing the top of it.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. But we did everything in our power to save your baby, but we couldn't. If Harry hadn't brought you here as soon as he did, you'd have left us as well."

"You're both lying... my baby is fine and healthy."

Carol said trying desperately to hold on on that thread of hope. She couldn't have her biggest dream and world come tumbling down like this. They must be lying about it, making this sick prank about her.

"Darling, I'm really sorry...." Harry tried to hold her hand, but she didn't let him, which saddened him even more. "Our baby is now our guardian angel."

She started trembling, lips quivering and looking at both of them and their tired faces. She looked up to see a clock on the wall and registered the time of when the worst news to any parents had been delivered to her.

Her dream baby had slipped through her fingers, she no longer was a mother and she clearly shouldn't keep her hopes up about trying again because she knew she'd fail. Her body clearly wasn't up for the challenge of growing a human from scratch and she had crushed Harry's dream and Harry's life. Her heart knew that something was wrong but she dismissed it for the past days. It was her fault that she had lost that baby and she'd never forgive herself for it.

"Leave me alone." she said, between sobs.

Harry and Agnes shared a confused look and didn't move.

"LEAVE ME ALONE." she screamed, throwing one of the pillows at them and kept screaming after that.

Carol was heartbroken and clearly grieving, shocked, guilty and confused. Lot's of pieces haven't made it to its place in the puzzle and she was clearly shutting down and wanting to be alone.

And at that moment, Carol was everything Harry wanted and needed, but to respect her wishes and lest Agnes needed to give her some sedatives, he simply nodded and left the room.

"I will be back in the morning." Harry said crying and holding the door. "We will get through this Carol. Please don't shut me out cause I won't survive this pain if you do. Neither will you."

Carol looked at him while angry tears rolled down her cheeks and wet her hospital gown.

"GET OUT!"

"I love you." Harry said, leaving the room and closing the door.

End of Part I

Author Note:

Please, don't kill me because of this chapter. This and the next ones were the hardest I've ever wrote. I cried my eyes out doing that, but it was... necessary.

To my dear and beloved readers my warmest thank you for sticking with me, for liking my babies as much as I do. Thank you for reading, commenting, voting and for all the suggestions that are always welcomed.

My biggest concern on this story is, even though I sometimes use a poetic license, bring as many real places, people, assets and elements. I want this to be a story you, the reader, can identify yourself with and recognise the royal family's modus operandi.

I want this to be a relatable story, one that you read and say: mmm... this could've happened and not one of 100% make-believe stories that although entertaining, don't make you relate to that.

That's why I take too long to write and why I sometimes have serious cases of writer's block. I do my research, I watch tons of videos and documentaries, I see lots of photos (and even blueprints of the palaces sometimes!). When I went to London last year I visited many of the places that I write about here.

The work is though, but the reward is great.

This story will be split into three parts (I might change this in the future, and if so I'll let you know."

Part I tells us how they met, became friends, how the spark appeared and how they started dating.

Parti II will be posted continually after this chapter (I'll probably do an intro and then skip to chapter I). We'll see all the mourning process, self awareness, priorities and overcome. They are pretty strong, but will they be able to survive this pain?

Only time will tell...

[synkiller82]

Collapse Into Me Chapter 17 - Illustrious

“Stop.”  Gabriel’s harsh voice cut through the low music in the background.  “Are you not taking this event seriously?”

“I’m sorry, Father,” Adrien started, only to be quieted by his father’s hand.

“Don’t be sorry, be better.  Your gait is too wide and fast for the music, your expression leaves something to be desired, and those clothes are still too tight,” Gabriel noted without the slightest hint of emotion.  “You will continue on your diet and start an exercise regimen until they fit properly, and correct yourself immediately. Now, go back and start again.”

Adrien moved to the beginning of the small walkway and waited for the music to start again.  He was trying his best, but this week had been exhausting, and there was still another week before the opening gala and Fall Fashion Week.  After a few more passes, he was finally allowed to change into his regular clothes and instructed to return to Gabriel’s atelier.

Adrien made his way back and stood by the door.  “You wanted to see me, Father?”

“I will be unable to attend the opening gala for Fashion Week.  As the heir of this company, you will take my place next to Nathalie.”  Gabriel looked up from his tablet. “You need to start learning how to run this company, Adrien, not just benefit from it.  As such, you will be shadowing employees from varying departments during your breaks from school in addition to your modeling responsibilities and lessons.”

“Yes, Father,” Adrien replied with resignation.  He had hoped to discuss his future with Gabriel, but Adrien knew the tone in his father’s voice meant there was no room for negotiation.  “May I go?”

Gabriel waved dismissively and turned his attention back to whatever project was on his tablet.

Adrien walked back to his room.  While he didn’t want to be CEO of Gabriel, he should’ve known his dreams and desires wouldn’t be taken into consideration, even if he had voiced them.  His future had been laid out for him the moment he was born, and he was supposed to follow the plan without argument or hesitation. He wouldn’t be surprised if his father had already chosen a wife for him, too.  Adrien just hoped he had a say in who he spent his life with, because there was a beautiful, smart, and compassionate aspiring designer that he was becoming more smitten with every day.

---

The next week flew by for Adrien in a whirlwind of photoshoots, interviews, and practices on top of school, homework, lessons, and Chat duties.  By Friday morning, he felt like a zombie as he made his way to school. He noticed Marinette looking almost as tired as he sat down next to her.

“What’s wrong with you two?” Alya inquired, leaning over her desk to flick Marinette’s messy bun.  “You both look like the walking dead.”

“Give it a rest, Alya,” Marinette groaned as she buried her face in Adrien’s shoulder.  “It’s been a long two weeks and we still have to get through the gala tomorrow.”

“What has kept you so busy, hmm?” Alya continued.  “I thought you were just going as Adrien’s plus 1.”

“I’ve been working with Maurice.” Marinette looked back at her friend with an expression that clearly indicated that she was done with the conversation before resting her head back on Adrien’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Adrien whispered into her hair.  “I didn’t know it would be this stressful on you too, or I wouldn’t--”

“Please stop,” Marinette whispered back, her blue eyes looking up to meet his green ones.  “I want to do this, Adrien. Maurice told me what was going on and I want to help. We will get through tomorrow together, okay?”

Adrien reached for Marinette’s hand, which she had placed on his thigh when he sat down, and brought it up to brush a kiss on her knuckles.  “Sounds perfect, Marinette.”

---

Adrien stood at the entrance to the ballroom at Le Grand Paris, welcoming everyone as they passed.  It was a tedious and boring task, and Adrien could not wait until Marinette arrived.  

“Adrien, you look fabulous,” Audrey Bourgeois complimented, taking in his black tux and white shirt with red bow tie and vest.  “Where is your father?”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Bourgeois, but Father was called away.  Nathalie will be back in a moment if you need to discuss business.” Adrien recited for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Adrichou,” Chloe called, hugging him and giving air kisses.  “You owe me a dance for not bringing me as your date this year.”

Adrien untangled himself from her and the monstrosity that was her yellow ball gown.  “As you wish, Chloe.”

“I saw Dupain-Cheng outside,” Chloe whispered as she leaned in.  “She doesn’t look nearly as good as I do, but she cleans up well enough.”  Before Adrien could respond, Chloe winked and walked off. He shrugged. At least Chloe didn’t completely insult his date.

A few more guests passed before Adrien caught the sight of red in his peripheral.  He turned to greet his date and he was temporarily stunned. Marinette stood in front of him in her dress, her blue-black hair pulled into a waterfall French braid with the ends curling over her shoulders.  Her makeup was subtle, allowing her natural beauty to shine through.

“Evening, Adrien,” Marinette greeted quietly.  “You look great.”

“Not half as good as you do.  You’re positively radiant.” Adrien countered, giving her a chaste kiss on her cheek before offering his arm.  He still had about half an hour before he could leave the door, but Marinette stayed by his side and greeted the press and VIPs as they arrived.

Once Nathalie relieved them, Adrien and Marinette made their way into the ballroom and were pulled into a conversation with a reporter from L’Officiel.   “Adrien, what is the status of the spring collection?  We have been waiting weeks to hear something from Gabriel .”

“The spring collection is a global theme,” Marinette answered.  “ Gabriel currently has designers traveling the globe, taking inspiration from multiple cultures to incorporate into the collection.  I’m sure Mr. Agreste will have a preview ready within the month.”

“Fantastic, Ms.--”

“Dupain-Cheng,” she replied.  “Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

The reporter nodded and thanked them before walking away to her next interview.  Adrien looked over to Marinette. “That was a great answer.”

“I was only repeating what Maurice drilled into my head,” Marinette admitted.  “We weren’t just going over how to eat and walk these past two weeks.”

The couple continued to flit through the room, answering questions and making conversations.  Adrien marveled at how easily Marinette melded into the situation. She exuded confidence, even though he could feel her shaking a bit on his arm.  By the time they sat down to eat, her shaking had calmed.

“I can’t believe the gowns here,” she whispered as they ate.  “This is a designer’s dream come true.”

Adrien quietly smiled and nodded as Marinette went into exuberant detail about which outfits she loved and which she thought should never see the light of day.  He had to admit that she really did make this night not just bearable, but enjoyable. Her enthusiasm was contagious and he was more than willing to be caught up in it.

Soon dinner was over and the chamber orchestra began playing a beautiful waltz.  Adrien held out his hand as he stood from his chair. “May I have this dance?”

“I don’t know, Adrien.”  Marinette bit her lip as she looked from his outstretched hand to the cleared dance floor.  “I’d rather not open up the opportunity to humiliate myself in front of everyone.”

“Do you trust me?”

Marinette looked up and saw a small smirk on his lips.  She had to giggle at his Aladdin reference as she placed her hand in his.  She did trust him, almost as much as she trusted Chat.  

When they reached the dance floor, Adrien moved them into position and Marinette couldn’t help but remember their first dance at Chloe’s party as he led her around the dance floor.  She lost herself in the feeling of their movements and the music, secretly wishing that this could last forever. She tripped a few times, but Adrien was able to counter her each time so no one saw.  

After a few dances, Adrien excused himself to dance with Chloe, and Marinette made her way back to the table to rest.  She jumped when she heard a chair move, and looked up to see Chloe’s mother take a seat next to her.

“So, you’re dating Adrien?”  Audrey started without any fanfare.  “You two seem-” She searched for a word.  “Good, together.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Bourgeois,” Marinette replied, wondering where this conversation was heading.

“I have been keeping an eye on you, and your talent continues to impress me.”  Audrey took a sip from her glass as she looked Marinette over. “My offer is still open for you to come to New York.”

“That is very kind, but I can’t leave Paris.”

Audrey waved her words away.  “Fine. I was going to stay in Paris for a while, anyway.”

“I don’t understand,” Marinette stated, her eyebrows furrowed.  “Why do you need to stay here?”

“I want you to feature in Style Queen as an up and coming designer.”  Audrey stood up. “I want three designs delivered to my suite no later than Friday after next by noon.”

Marinette was practically vibrating when Adrien returned to her.  “Adrien, you won’t believe what just happened.” She grabbed his hand to ground herself.  “Audrey Bourgeois just requested three original designs to feature in her magazine.”

“That’s great, Marinette!” Adrien wrapped her in a tight hug.  “I knew you would turn heads in the fashion world.”

---

The rest of the week went by in a flash for Adrien.  He was absent from school while he attended events throughout the city.  Thankfully, he got to see Marinette every night after he was done so she could drop off his notes and homework.  It wasn’t ideal for either of them, but they cherished the time they got.

Saturday and the fashion show finally arrived.  Adrien was a mix of nervous and excited energy, as this was the last event of the week.  After this and the after-party was done, he could go see Marinette. Well, that was his plan anyway.  He knew he had to get this perfect or his father would probably spend the rest of the night letting him know everything he did wrong.

“Calm down, Kit,” Plagg grumbled from his place on top of the bookshelf.  “You’ll do great and then you can go see Baker Girl.”

“You do know she has a name, right?”  Adrien asked, glancing in the mirror at his kwami.

I know more about her than you think, the tiny cat thought to himself.  He just shrugged.

A knock on Adrien’s dressing room door interrupted their conversation.  He sighed and plastered on his best model smile. It was time to go to work.

Four hours later, he found himself outside the Dupain-Cheng residence, ringing the doorbell.  He heard hurried footsteps drumming down the stairs before the door flew open to reveal a flustered Marinette.

“Adrien, what are you doing here?  I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to come by until tomorrow.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the ground.  “I got done early. I wanted to see if you wanted to get coffee with me.”

She reached out and pulled him inside and into a bear hug.  “Be right back.” She ran back upstairs and a few moments later, was back in front of him with her coat, sliding on her boots.  “Let’s go.”

[bgn846]

FFXV Fanfic - Best Foot Forward

Ignis had to spend time training to perfect his dagger kick however, it wasn't always perfect.  Gladio steps in to take care of his friend when something horrible happens.

Fic on AO3 as well as below...

The look on Ignis’ face said it all; a terrible miscalculation had been made.  Gladio could do nothing but watch as his lithe friend swung his leg around aimed straight for a dagger.  Ignis had been practicing his dagger kick for months and whacked his foot pretty hard on a few occasions.  Nevertheless, it was always with the training weapons so the damage was minimal.  A real dagger was being used today.

He’d gotten permission from Cor and was only allowed to try so long as there was a training partner with him.  The shield had eagerly agreed to witness the upgrade from fake to real weapon.  The amount of time that Ignis had been practicing this move was monumental and Gladio knew he’d be successful.

He wanted to be around to congratulate his friend.  Plus any excuse for a possible hug from his secret crush was always good in Gladio’s book.  However, all these feelings were tramped down at the moment.   Life had slipped into slow motion and Gladio had a front row seat as Ignis literally stabbed himself in the foot.

The first part of the move looked perfect and it appeared Ignis would be able to kick the dagger as he’d always practiced.  What Gladio wasn’t expecting was for the damn blade to pivot at the last second.   The blade was now pointed towards Ignis’ oncoming kick.  Based off the wide eyed look of terror that flashed over Ignis’ face he wasn’t expecting it either.

Gladio hoped he would never have an opportunity to hear Ignis scream like that ever again.  It made his blood run cold.  The advisor’s foot had connected with the dagger and the blade had pushed all the way through his right foot.  Ignis instantly crumpled to the floor and was clutching his leg right above the kneecap.

Words failed the shield as he ran over to Ignis.  His friend was clearly in shock and yelling in pain.  Some part of his medic training kicked in when Ignis tried to sit up and look at his foot.

“Whoa!  Don’t move!” He ordered as he knelt on the floor next to the writhing man.  Gladio knew that once he pulled the dagger out it would bleed more.  He quickly pulled a potion from the armiger to be ready for what he needed to do next if Ignis would allow it.  “Ignis, do you want me to get a professional?” He asked quickly.

Ignis was gasping for breath and his face was screwed up with pain.  “Nggg – I-- I – can’t wait. Help me!” He begged.

This was more than Gladio could deal with, seeing Ignis in pain was making his brain melt.  “I’m so sorry buddy I’m going to hurt you fixing this.”  

“Help me!” He cried out.  “I --  don’t care just I can’t --.” He whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut.

Without another word Gladio straddled Ignis’ thighs facing his abused foot.  Sitting with enough pressure to keep the advisor’s legs in place he hovered his hand above the handle of the dagger.  Looking down at the whole scene he suddenly realized that he wasn’t sure if his hand was shaking or if it was Ignis’ leg.  Placing the potion on the floor he held Ignis’ ankle to make sure his foot didn’t move any more than necessary.  Then he prayed to the astrals and in one swift motion he grabbed the hilt of the dagger and pulled it out straight.        

Gladio could feel Ignis’ body convulse beneath him.  Hands were grabbing his shirt from behind and beating his back.  Quickly tossing the offending item away he grabbed the potion next and broke the bottle over Ignis’ foot.  

The frantic mashing of fists died down and all he could hear was Ignis breathing heavily.  “Are you still in pain do I need to use another potion?” He asked urgently.  No answer was forthcoming and Gladio began to worry.

Swinging around to face Ignis his worry increased tenfold.  The advisor was shaking and staring up at the ceiling.  “Iggy!” Gladio yelled as he leaned over to gently cradle Ignis’ face.   “Are you still in pain?” He asked again.  Thankfully this time Ignis’ eyes focused and he looked at him.

“No.” He whispered.  “I can’t think straight, I don’t know what to do.” He replied concerned.

“Nothing just breathe, I’m going to help you sit up so I can hold you.  Is that alright?”

Ignis nodded and closed his eyes.  Gladio assisted him in sitting up on the mat and re-positioned himself behind the advisor.  Latching his arms around the man’s still shaking frame he held him tight.  It was only then that Gladio realized Ignis’ heart was racing.

Shit.

He really wanted to make sure Ignis was going to be alright so he did the only thing that made sense.  He called his dad.

The phone was already ringing when Ignis picked up to what he was doing. “Who are you calling?”

“My dad, he works late on Friday’s sometimes so he doesn’t have to come on Saturday.”

Ignis squirmed in Gladio’s hold and sighed.  “You don’t have to do that I’m feeling better.”

“Still calling him, it’s bet – Hey dad are you still in the office?” He asked when the man answered.

“Something wrong?” Clarus asked instantly noticing the tone in his son’s voice.

“Ignis had an accident in the training room and I used a potion already but can you come check.”

“On my way.”  The conversation ended with that simple statement.

“Really Gladio I’m alright you don’t need to fuss over me.” Ignis tried again.

“Dude a dagger went through your foot!  That’s serious.” Ignis tried a few more times to argue his point but Gladio shot him down each time.

When Clarus arrived he was more than alarmed by the scene before him.  “I need to check your foot Ignis, please tell me if I hurt you.” Clarus asked as he knelt with them both.

Gladio felt Ignis’ body tense slightly when his dad started carefully working the laces of Ignis sneaker open.  The shoe came off easily. “Damn Ignis, did the blade go all the way to the hilt?” The king’s shield asked with concern as he noted the large gash on both the top and bottom of the shoe.  Ignis’ bloody sock came off next and thank the six his foot appeared to be okay.  There was minimal bruising but it seemed like the potion had done the trick.  “Do you wish to go to the infirmary?” Clarus double checked.

“No I’d rather not.  I feel fine.” Ignis blurted.

“Very well, I’m going to move your foot, if it still hurts tell us and we’ll use another potion.” Clarus was able to rotate Igins’ foot around and bend it without issue.  Ignis complained of a little soreness but said his pain was gone. “Ok enough lying around on the floor we’re going home.  Gladio you help Ignis and I’ll grab your bags.”

“I’m alright to drive home.” Ignis cut in.  “Please don’t trouble yourself with this, it’s late and I don’t wish to take up more of your time.”

“Only if you can stand up without wincing or falling over.” Clarus added curtly.

Gladio released Ignis and got up first so he could help his friend stand.  He knew the advisor was hiding a wince when he put pressure on his foot.  It didn’t seem like his dad had noticed or maybe he chose not to say anything.

However, the smug look on Ignis’ face when he started walking and both his knees promptly gave out was something to behold.  He was not a happy camper.  Gladio had his suspicions this would happen with all the adrenaline that had run its course.  He had stayed close by so he could reach an arm out to hold Ignis up.

“I’m going to lose this fight aren’t I?” Ignis sighed as he clutched Gladio’s arm for support.

“Yep, now use your human crutch and let’s go.” Clarus chided lightly.    

The car ride home was very quiet.  Clarus had taken off towards his car and Gladio nor Ignis had made mention of it.  Aside from some initial confusion as to where Ignis should sit they made it to Amicitia manor with no further complications.

Once they’d made it inside Gladio noticed that Ignis was getting fidgety.  He never did that so something must have been bothering him.   “Hey you okay?” He whispered.

“Overwhelmed, I kicked a dagger into my own foot.” He spit out quickly.

Clarus interrupted their discussion a moment later.  “I’ve got Jared getting the hot tub ready.  Ignis you need to ease the tension in your muscles.  That kind of trauma affects your whole body.  Go take a dip it will help you feel better.”

“I didn’t bring any trunks.” Ignis replied a little shocked.

“I’m sure my son owns more than one pair.   Gladio I trust you can get your stubborn friend to relax for a little while?”

Biting back a snicker Gladio nodded and helped Ignis hobble over to a chair in the hallway.  “I’ll be right back Iggy, try and stay off your foot ok.”   

Ignis was beyond tired but he didn’t dare tell Gladio for fear of what reaction he’d get.  His Friday night hadn’t exactly gone as planned.  It was supposed to have been a simple training session and then home for the night to rest and maybe work a little.

Now as he sat slumped in a fancy chair at the Amicitia’s he felt lost.  He was nervous about the hot tub, would Gladio be joining him or was he supposed to just sit there by himself.  The younger shields voice calling to him broke his train of thought.

“I found a brand new pair I never had a chance to use.” Gladio offered as he handed off a pair of grey swim trunks.  “Come on I’ll help you to the bathroom so you can change.”

Ignis was momentarily stunned, his friend had changed as well and looked rather good in his snug swim trunks.  Guess that answered the question of whether he would be alone or not.  Changing didn’t take long and Gladio lead them out to the covered patio.

“You got this?” Gladio asked as he left Ignis leaning up against the side.

“Hm mmm.” He murmured as he swung his long legs over the edge and slipped into the hot water.  Clarus had been correct this was doing wonders for his muscles.  It felt so good in fact that he instantly passed out once his head was in place against padded edge.

The feeling of warmth and a soft cozy blanket filled his waking moments.  What had happened?

Oh.

He’d stabbed himself and ended up at Gladio’s house.  Right.

Looking around the dimly lit space Ignis pieced together that he must have been in a guest room.   He was still wearing the swim shorts but he’d been tucked into the bed and had a large fluffy blanket wrapped around his body.    

Further investigation found a fresh pair of clothes, his glasses, and his phone on a side table.  Opting to change first he grabbed the clothes and shimmied out of his shorts while still under the covers.  He was beyond comfortable and didn’t feel like getting up.   When that task was done he reached for the phone to see what he’d missed.

There was one text from Gladio telling to him call if he needed anything.  He didn’t so he merely texted back that he was awake and doing fine.  Barely one minute later there was a knock at the door.

“Yes?”

Gladio opened the door and poked his head in.  “You doing alright? Need any food or um – anything?”

“I’m fine.   I’m afraid I lost track of the time how long was I out for?” Ignis asked.

“Couple hours, you look a lot better though.  You sorta scared the shit outta me earlier.” Gladio added with concern.

His friend was still standing in the doorway as they talked and Ignis suddenly had a feeling like there was something else going on.  “Um – you can come in and talk.”

Gladio smiled as he entered and closed the door.  “Mind if I sit on the bed with you?”

“Gladiolus we’ve known each other for quite a while.  You know I don’t mind if you sit on the bed.”  The nervous laugh Gladio let loose as he casually positioned himself on the bed was new.  “I can only assume it was you who carried me in here so what may I ask is making you so nervous.”

“Like I said you really scared me earlier.  I’ve never seen you in so much pain before and I really had a hard time with that.  I guess it made me realize a few things.” Gladio replied as he scratched the back of his neck.  “Um – maybe it made me realize one thing in particular.”

“Eh – that you never want to train with me again?” Ignis questioned with a raised eyebrow.

This got a snort out of the shield.  “Nah not that, I’d train with you any time.  I think I realized that I needed to tell you something.”

“Which is?” Ignis asked with bated breath.  His friend was being awfully cryptic.

Sighing heavily Gladio looked at him seriously.  “I like, like you.”

Okay that was unexpected.  Not necessarily surprising but not what Ignis was thinking Gladio would say. “And if I mentioned that I might feel the same way.” He trailed off.    

Before he could register what was happening he had a pair of soft lips smashed into his.  They kissed for what felt like a full minute before they had to break apart to breathe.  “If I hadn’t kicked a dagger in my foot would you have told me this today?” Ignis rasped.

Gladio paused and looked a little dumbstruck.  “I guess not. Don’t get me wrong I would have eventually but this made me move a little faster.”

“Interesting.” Ignis mused.  “I suppose then that it was meant to be.  I will be returning to the training room tomorrow to master that move.  I’ll be requiring your assistance.”

“Any time Iggy!” Gladio said excitedly.  “Please don’t stab yourself again.”

“Not planning on it.”

“Would you like to kiss again?” Gladio asked sheepishly.

“Oh yes very much so, but I’m afraid I may need you to feed me first, preferably in bed.”      

Gladio sprang into action with that statement and leapt on top of Ignis’ bundled up form. “You’re impossible!” He huffed as he started tickling his friend’s neck.

Ignis managed to push all the covers up to his ears to mostly escape Gladio’s fiendish hands.  “Isn’t that – haahh --what you like about me?” He tried in between his giggles hoping to make Gladio smile.

It worked.  “Duh of course!” He agreed with a large grin.  “So what food can I prepare for my lovely – boyfriend?” Gladio tried curiously.

That statement caused Ignis to sigh contentedly.  “Something fast so we can have more fun.”

Apparently Ignis was still exhausted because all it took was a full belly and sweet kisses from Gladio to lull him to sleep once more.   Perhaps his dreams would feature his new boyfriend!

[vickisventures]

“He who plants a tree, plants a hope.” – Lucy Larcom

Whew!  What a wild 2 weeks.  We left Arizona on a Sunday and got to Alamosa, CO on Monday.  I was, foolishly, hoping for a few days of rest after working so much at our last job; but I found out that we still had several things to work out and check out before we could plant our seedlings.  We spent the next 3 days making trips back and forth to Alamosa and to our land.  We found out that the community center in Forbes Park did NOT have their bathrooms open.  We weren’t too happy about that since those were the only restrooms within 10 miles, but 2 acres of nature were going to have to work!  Friday morning, we left early to drive to La Veta to pick up our 150 free seedlings.  We had a mix of trees but mostly Ponderosa Pines which I LOVE!  We were blessed by having Seth, a friend of Steve’s from his Bell Helicopter days, come to help us.  So, we met up with him and went to our land with our baby trees.  We worked all day with only a short lunch break.  Steve dug the hole, I planted the seedling, and Seth put up the tree guards (to protect against wildlife) and spread mulch.  Then Saturday, we repeated the process.  We were disappointed in how many we planted per day, but it took a lot more time than we’d thought. I think, in the 3 days, we had every type of weather imaginable.  Seth had to return to Amarillo on Sunday, so Steve and I finished the job by ourselves.  We finished planting around lunchtime and after lunch spent the next 4 hours watering.  Since we do not have water on our property, this wasn’t an easy process.  We filled up every plastic bin and bucket we had with water by the office.  Then we would carry buckets and gallon jugs around the property watering each and every seedling.  If the land was a bit flatter, it wouldn’t have been so tiring, but then it wouldn’t be the mountains either!  I think we went to bed every night by 8:30pm (after taking several Tylenol).  We were so glad to be finished.  We just hope that we have a lot of trees survive.  We know that we will lose some, but we are counting on God to help us out since we can’t go too often to water them.  While planting, I would try to pray over every few seedlings...praying our hard work would pay off.  We will probably go back and water them in 3 weeks.  Thankfully, it’s only about a 3-hour drive. 

We left Monday and drove to Durango to our next RV park job.  Upon arrival, we met the managers, Keith and Susan.   My first impression was that they were friendly.  They took us to 2 sites and told us we could choose.  They told us during the interview that they didn’t have workamper sections, but I’m not sure I agree with that.  Sure, we are all in 3 different sections (there are 15 of us-8 RVs) but all are by the highway...not the best of sites.  After we got parked we were talking and they told us that we would have until Friday off.  Somehow, we started talking about hours and I mentioned we were supposed to work the morning shift and Susan said, “We only need help with the afternoon shift.”  I know my face showed surprise and dismay.  I didn’t quite know what to say...we’d told Keith on the day we accepted the job that we wanted the morning shift and he said that shouldn’t be a problem, that there’s always some that want the morning and some that want the evening.  Well, he neglected to mention that they needed a lot more people working the evening shift than the morning.  Also, even though we told them months ago, it seems that since we were the last couple to arrive, we didn’t get a say in the schedule.  We went and spoke to Keith the next day and we could hardly get a word in edgewise.  Then he kept telling us stories about how people preferred the evenings because it was super busy and most people ended up wanting to switch to evenings.  I was pretty upset for a few days but finally decided to let it go and leave it to God.  So far we have been in training and have worked the morning shift (8am-1pm) but later this week we are working 1-6pm.  We close at 6pm for now but starting Memorial weekend, we will stay open until 8pm.  

I have had a really hard time trying to be positive.  I am having trouble finding things I like about this park.  I think we were very spoiled last summer...we just had a fantastic experience and it’s hard to beat that.  This park is not surrounded by mountains or Ponderosa Pines.  We have highway noise 24/7.  The lower part of the park has a parking lot feel because it is new.  They are planning to put in trees this summer but for now it’s dry and dusty.  Our site is not as bad.  We do have some smaller trees around and one day, we’ll have water that will run beside our site.  It is water that is used for irrigation and is controlled by the city.  They will open it up in about a month.  I am hoping that will help us feel like we are in the mountains.  There are some mountain views in the park but not really where we are parked.  I’m sort of disappointed in Durango, I was thinking it would be more mountainous and prettier. (It’s been years since I was here.)  We did go hiking today and it was pretty on parts of the hike but with very little shade.  We will find better hikes, I’m sure.  

The office work is pretty standard.  They use a different system than I’ve used before and it has some pros and cons as all of these systems seem to.  I am figuring it out with the help of some cheat sheets I have created.  Learning the rules and ins and outs of the park is also something that takes time since every park/manager is different.  I had really hoped they would decide to keep us on days, but I was told that another girl needed to be kept on the morning shift so the manager “could keep an eye on her.”  Supposedly, she’s been making some careless mistakes.  So, what I’m hearing is-IF I am screwing up and making inaccurate statements to guests, then I might be put to work in the mornings. Hmm.  I have had a few deja vu moments where I felt like I was back working for Janet—those awful days at Meridian…because the manager tends to talk about other workers mistakes to other workampers.  Steve had a moment too where he was told to do something and then another workamper told him that Keith wasn’t too happy with how Steve had done the job.  The problem wasn’t Steve. The problem was that Keith neglected to be specific about how he wanted it done and somehow expected Steve to read his mind.  Steve is hoping that was just a one-time thing. If not, I guess they will have to have a talk!

I will hopefully have a happier, more positive blog the next time.  I really didn’t want to sound like Debbie Downer but it’s just nothing to brag about yet. Hopefully, we’ll settle in and things will be easier and more fun.  But buckle up for a long ride just in case!

[alisamaefawn394]

HELLO and do I have a tale for you. 

On Monday 11th January, my 89 year old nan moved to us from her care home that was RIDDLED with coronavirus. This was after she tested negative twice (a hospital test on the Friday, a test on her way back from a covid-free part of the hospital on that same Monday). That’s two negative tests, right, so naturally we thought she’d be fine to come and live with us. Perfect, fine, all well and good. and because I’m at high risk, we also assumed this would be fine with me which is why we checked twice. 

SKIP TO FRIDAY: My nan is coughing and being kind of sick and continually retching, exhausted and can’t get out of bed, can barely speak. The nurse that came to see her is instantly concerned, so she has a test done. for the next 48+ hours, things just keep getting worse: two sets of paramedics, countless carers and nurses. Then Sunday morning her test comes back positive. She’s seriously ill, and bear in mind she has acute bronchitis, asthma, and one functioning lung (the other is collapsed) so covid will be awful for her. 

The paramedics yesterday morning took her to hospital, hoping they’d admit her to a covid ward so that she could receive the necessary care. After a few hours in a+e, she’s told she’s being discharged. “She’s not ill enough to stay” they said to us, planning on discharging her to us. My parents hadn’t slept in 72 hours from caring for her day and night, we physically couldn’t cope with her coming home, they said they didn’t give a shit essentially and that we just had to cope.

After hours of battles with the hospital, social services, nursing homes, her care home, my uncles, LAWYERS, the care home owner said he wasn’t letting her back in. Ironic considering it was his home that gave her covid in the first place. He was contractually obligated to let her in though, within every law and clause, not to mention she’d payed her fees and he refused to pay her back. Then, the lead carer overrode his decision anyway and let her in after a multidisciplinary action hearing at the hospital where they unanimously agreed that with the circumstances (a weekend, not coping at our house, at risk young person, two teachers who are both stressed and ill and probably have covid too) she was to return to her care home. All well and good, she arrived there last night, albeit looking like a punchbag and a pin cushion, her hands and arms bright purple from their vicious attempts at getting needles into her. The lead carer is complaining. The good news is that she’s in her care home safely, and they should now have enough staff to care for her cine they’ve had 7+ deaths there in the past week from covid. Obviously not a good thing, but now they might now be short staffed and actually able to care for their residents. 

NOW onto the second part of the story. 

Friday, I felt fine. All well and good, I sat and did my work and my normal stuff. Then Saturday I woke up feeling awful, runny nose and cough and constant goosebumps and joint pain and lethargy and temperature changes and a worse cough than normal and a headache and jaw ache, and I felt SHIT. I had a bath and started to feel a bit better, but all of the upset didn’t work. This whole time my heart was going berserk. Sunday this eased a little, less goosebumps, less pain and all, but I had a sore-ish throat. We went to get tested after my nans came back positive. 

Now I have a hamartia, a one fatal flaw, and that is an unreasonable fear of dying in my sleep. Except with me: a heart condition, collagen defect, you name it else, it’s not so unreasonable. So with all of this covid fear, my heart going weird, struggling to breathe, I was so fearful I couldn’t sleep and I was just crying. I don’t know why. My mum eventually came in to my room and slept on the blow up bed. 

This morning I wake up to a missed call from the test and trace, a text and three emails. I’ve tested positive, my mum has too, while my dad is still negative. I’m coughing with a sore throat today, I’m a bit short of breath, and I can’t keep a constant temperature (not that I normally can) but I don’t have a fever. Thankfully, my conditions only meant I was at high risk of catching it in the first place, not of getting it really badly, so touch wood this fact remains and I stay with mild ish symptoms. My mum is just really tired and has a headache, but we aren’t sure if they’re covid related or just from exhaustion. Turns out I shouldn’t have been going to school all of last term, and I’m not surprised really with how easily I caught it: 3 days in contact with my nan who wasn’t even showing any symptoms for a while, and I’m knocked down from it. My lessons have all been cancelled, and I feel just generally shite. I have to isolate essentially until the end of the month. I’m just really scared of the knock this will give the rest of my already shit health. 

And yes, we are preparing to sue the care home owner for gross negligence. So that’s the current state of things. We also have two dogs we can’t leave the house to walk so this is fucking awful. Shit times. Praying that this passes. 

[180abroad]

Days 43-44: Welcome to France (If You Can Make It)

Before we go forward, I have to take us back about three weeks. To Fes.

Relaxing in our crazy little riad, watching BBC World News (the only English language channel we received), we learned about the impending French train strikes. I had heard a lot of stories about French train strikes, and they always end with the strike not lasting very long or making too much of a nuisance.

But this one seemed different. The news correspondents seemed very concerned and were talking about major disruptions that could go on for months.

Still, there were three weeks between then and now--plenty of time for the whole thing to blow over. And the French national rail company SNCF had proactively listed which trains were expected to be cancelled on strike days and which trains were expected to run. And everyone we talked to assured us that the whole thing would blow over long before we got to France.

We chose to believe them.

We shouldn’t have believed them.

We knew that today was one of the scheduled strike days, but the tickets we had bought were on a train that was supposed to run as scheduled nevertheless. When we collected our tickets in Lucerne, however, we noticed they looked a bit odd. They had our origin and destinations listed, but the times, platforms, and seats were all blank.

We asked our Lausanne host Stacey, and she confirmed that the tickets looked off to her, too. She suggested that we show them to an attendant when we reached the station.

That advice may have saved our day.

I wish, little dude...

The station attendant we spoke to informed us that no trains were expected to run to France that day and that getting to Lyon would be “very difficult.” Our train from Lausanne to Geneva was still on, though, so we headed up to the platform and prepared to do some fast thinking.

Checking on my phone, I confirmed that our train to Lyon had been cancelled. And so had our train from Lyon to Avignon. Great.

Jessica managed to find and bought tickets for a bus from Geneva to Lyon. Fantastic!

Jessica tactfully waited until we had boarded the train to inform me of the catch. The bus would leave 20 minutes after our train was scheduled to arrive in Geneva, and the bus station was a five-minute walk from the train station. And according to the fine print of the bus ticket, we were supposed to check in at least 20 minutes before departure.

And of course, our train was delayed about five minutes by the time we arrived.

Speedwalking (I would say running, but running isn’t quite feasible while wearing a 20+ pound backpack and getting stopped by every single red light), we made it to the bus station with a little under ten minutes before departure. The driver thankfully let us on without question or reproach, and we felt the enormous relief of one hurdle cleared. Even if we had trouble figuring out the trip from Lyon to Avignon, at least we would be able to rendezvous with my aunt Donna--Jessica’s mom--who was waiting for us in her Lyon hotel.

After spending the first half hour or so of the bus ride just decompressing, I started looking for ways to get us from Lyon to Avignon. Meanwhile, Jessica (who had to take a seat several rows back) was texting with her mom and dad trying to keep them informed and coordinate alternative plans if we couldn’t find a ride that day.

Luckily, the GoEuro app found us a good bus option right away, and we snapped it up as quickly as I could pull out my wallet in the cramped space. It was about this time that I noticed we had crossed into France.

Emotionally exhausted, I was finally able to relax and even nod off a bit. In my more lucid moments, I was able to enjoy the lush green mountains and elegant architecture of the buildings that poked up into view--similar but subtly different to the ones we saw in French Switzerland. Somehow smoother and more refined.

At the Lyon bus station, we had the hardest time just trying to get out. It was weird. It is a huge building, and unlike any number of similar buildings we'd been in before, we couldn’t find any maps or exit signs. After finding a much-needed bathroom almost by accident, we ended up following the signs to the taxi stand and taking a back exit out.

Freed from the labyrinth that is the Lyon bus station, we had a 30-minute walk to get to Donna’s hotel. Our route took us along the river and gave us our first real sight of France. Not that we had much time or brainpower to spare for it.

We made it to the hotel, where Jessica and her mom enjoyed a tearful reunion. Rendezvous complete. Next phase: get food.

With the help of the concierge’s guidance, we crossed the river to a street lined with restaurants. Jessica picked out a burger place that turned out to be excellent--a touch of familiarity (with French culinary style and sensibility, of course) proved to be good medicine for such a stressful day.

We had plenty of time before our bus left, but the forecast was for imminent rain, so we wanted to get back to the station as quickly as possible. After picking our bags back up at the hotel, we booked it to the bus station and found what may have been the front entrance. At least, it was more of a front entrance than the one Jessica and I had left from.

The bus station was still a maze. Almost by accident, we found the desk for our bus company. We checked in, and they told us our bus was waiting outside.

It wasn’t, but it took us about ten minutes of wandering the loops of bus bays to eliminate all the possibilities. There were no signs listing where all the busses would be, just ones for some of the individual bays. And none of those signs seemed to describe our bus.

Finally, as I was about to go back to the desk for more help, another passenger informed Donna that she was on the same bus and knew where we had to wait. So we waited there with her, and eventually the bus showed up.

The bus ride was scenic, if a little gray due to the rainy weather. We didn’t care, though. We were together and on our way to Avignon.

Arriving in Avignon, our first impression was of the well-preserved medieval walls that still ring the old city. Most old European cities have torn down their ring walls to make space for roads and greenbelts, leaving just a few preserved sections at most. But apart from a few holes cut out to make room for modern roads in and out, Avignon’s walls are largely intact, with turrets, crenelations, arrow loops, and walkways still visible to be admired. (We later learned from a tour guide that the walls were left up to protect the city from the Rhone river, which can still flood dramatically during the spring.)

Like Florence, the main streets outside the old town are all torn up for the installation of a new tram system. Fortunately, we only had to cross one street to make it into the old town.

As soon as we passed through that old stone gate, we were immediately smitten by the city’s elegant medieval charm. The feeling never wore off, and we all want to go back someday.

We made it to our Airbnb, and for once everything was perfect. We got in easily, and the apartment was better than I could have hoped for--except for lack of an elevator. It was spacious, with two bedrooms, a full kitchen, and an ample sitting room with a large flatscreen TV.

And the views weren’t half-bad either.

We tried to find dinner at a local French restaurant, but either because of the day or the time, few options were available--none of which we agreed on. In the end, we picked up some microwavable meals from the Carrefour supermarket, where we also bought food for the next morning’s breakfast. We knew our experience with French cuisine would be positive when even the TV dinners proved surprisingly decent.

At night, we could see from our windows the illuminated spire of a nearby church poking up over the rooftops.

The next day, we enjoyed our breakfast with a fresh baguette that my aunt Donna and I ordered in French at an artisanal bakery just down the street.

Our only goal for the day was to figure out how we were getting to Beaune. Oh yeah, let me tell you about that...

While we were scrambling to find a way to Avignon the day before, I made a discovery. We were supposed to travel from Avignon to Beaune (in Burgundy) on Saturday. But somehow, we had bought tickets for Friday instead. Non-changeable, non-refundable tickets.

In love with Avignon and our accommodations, we didn’t want to cut our stay short if we could possibly help it. But the accident did present us with an interesting choice. Saturday was a strike day, so there was a risk that any train we booked for that day would get cancelled. But Friday wasn’t a strike day, so we could count on being able to use the tickets we bought by mistake.

We couldn’t find any reliable information online, so we walked down to the Avignon train station to ask for more information on getting to Beaune on Saturday. We learned that the train workers wouldn’t announce which trains they would cancel on Saturday until 5 pm Friday night--which might be too late to make any alternative plans if necessary. Not acceptable.

Busses were an alternative, but none of the bus companies seemed to be listing busses for strike days. Maybe they were also waiting to see which trains would be cancelled before scheduling their routes. In any case, we didn’t want to sit around waiting to find out at the last minute.

Our next plan was to rent a car one-way. We walked about 50 minutes across town to a rental agency that had given me a very reasonable quote online. But it turned out when we finally got there that the quote hadn’t included the 200-something Euro one-way drive fee. For the price they were quoting, we could hire a private driver to take us--not that we would. Another dead end.

Tired and frustrated, we sat outside the rental agency and worked out what to do. Finally, we decided to just stick with the Friday tickets and book a one-night stay for Friday at a hotel in Beaune. Back at our flat (after another hour’s walk), we found a suitable hotel and booked it without much trouble.

The final problem was what to do about our Provence sightseeing tour that we had booked for Friday. After a few phone calls and several hours of waiting, we successfully changed our reservation for the tour from Friday to Wednesday--tomorrow. (Thursday was no good since that was our Rhone wine tasting tour.)

Mission accomplished! But having lived through the stress of working around the French train strikes, we decided that we needed to make some additional alterations to our upcoming travel plans. The rest of our trip with my aunt Donna would be fine--our tickets were all on non-strike days--but our next stop after that would be a problem.

We had booked a stay in the Loire Valley, followed by a stay in Normandy. Both travel days turned out to be strike days. The trip from the Loire to Normandy had already been expected to be tight since it required going back to Paris and making a lot of transfers. This extra complication pushed Jessica and me past the limits of our comfort zones.

After some sad but short consideration, we decided to cut the Loire Valley trip and extend our stays in Paris and Normandy instead, setting it up so that the transfer was on a non-strike day.

We celebrated our bittersweet success with a delicious dinner that Donna and Jessica prepared--chicken parmesan with linguini. Very French, I know. But it was tasty, and we were able to watch Doctor Who on the large TV while we ate.

Next Post: Provence (Wine, Hill Towns, and Roman Ruins)

Last Post: The Golden Pass and Lake Geneva

[lotsofdogs]

Things I’m Loving Friday #214

Hello, my friends. How are you guys? I didn’t mean to go dark on the blog for three days in a row this week but I was down for the count beginning on Sunday. By Monday evening I paid a visit to urgent care where I found out I have the flu. From then on I was battling nausea, headaches, achiness, an incredibly sore throat and complete exhaustion through Wednesday afternoon. I’ve never had the flu before and I can now officially said it is just as awful as everyone says it is. Thankfully my fever is down now and I’m slowly regaining energy and feeling more like myself.

Unfortunately our grand plans for this weekend had to be canceled. I’m really disappointed because Ryan planned a surprise trip to New York City for us and bought us tickets to see HAMILTON last night as a Christmas gift. (Yes, Hamilton! Ugh.) To say I was bummed to have to cancel such amazing plans is a severe understatement and I hate that such a special trip had to be scrapped at the last minute.

On the VERY bright side of things, my family seems to have remained healthy and avoided the flu so far which is wonderful. I’m hoping and praying for a healthy Christmas in our house and for good health all around for all of you as well!

Since I wasn’t able to do much of anything this past week, I missed several work-related deadlines so much of this weekend will likely be spent playing catch up. The good news is I’ve been fever-free since Wednesday afternoon and apparently the flu is no longer contagious once you’re 24-hours removed from a fever, so if my energy levels pick back up, I’m hoping we may be able to do some fun holiday things this weekend as well. We’ll definitely be playing it by ear.

Now after that looong intro, let’s dive right into your usual Things I’m Loving Friday post! I hope you all have a fun and HEALTHY weekend!

Things I’m Loving Friday

Charleston Girls’ Weekend

I spent last weekend in Charleston, South Carolina with six of my best friends from college and we had the most incredible time eating, drinking and exploring such a beautiful place. The trip went by in a flash and thankfully I felt healthy for most of it up until Saturday evening. (The drive home on Sunday was miserable and I had to stop six times in four hours… clearly the flu hit.)

We all arrived in Charleston on Friday around lunchtime and wasted no time checking into the house we rented, grabbing drinks and changing for dinner at The Grocery. We spent the night out at The Belmont and The Commodore which had great live music! Saturday began with brunch at Hominy Grill (the she crab soup was fantastic), followed by an afternoon tour of the Boone Hall Plantation and drinks at Prohibition. My friend Merri and I didn’t make it out on Saturday night because we were both feeling under the weather and while I was sad to miss the final night of fun, my body clearly needed the extra rest. I had no idea what was about to hit!

Even with some sickness sprinkled in, Charleston was a BLAST and I loved every second with my girlfriends. Truthfully, I feel like we barely scratched the surface when it comes to seeing everything Charleston has to offer and Ryan and I are talking about making a spring trip to Charleston to see more of the historic sights, eat plenty of delicious southern food and enjoy a weekend away.

Popsicles

When you have an incredibly sore throat, not much feels good to eat other than ice cold popsicles. I lived on popsicles for the first few days of the week this week and loved these mango, strawberry and coconut pops from Helados Mexico. The size was perfect (they’re mini) so I could eat one when I wanted something to soothe my throat or enjoy a few if I wanted my sweet treats to last a little longer.

The Holiday and Love Actually

The first few days of the week I was so tired and achy and had such a roaring headache that I couldn’t even watch TV and just laid in bed or on the couch with an eye mask on for most of the day. By Wednesday, I was up for TV again and tried to put a positive spin on the flu and took advantage of my inability to do anything and watched two of my favorite holiday movies that I knew wouldn’t interest Ryan in the least. A small perk of being sick!

DRINKmaple Organic Raspberry Lemon Maple Water

A week or so ago, I received a package of DRINKmaple’s new organic raspberry lemon maple water and the timing could not have been better. I’ve tried to prioritize staying hydrated as much as possible this week and this water made it a little bit easier when I wanted something flavored but not too sweet. Maple water contains antioxidants, minerals, electrolytes and natural prebiotics and tastes fantastic. I first fell in love with maple water years ago during a trip to Canada and love it as a delicious, lower-sugar alternative to coconut water.

Zumbo’s Just Desserts

This show was a recent Netflix discovery and one Ryan and I enjoyed watching together. Cooking and baking competition shows typically fall under the umbrella of shows that appeal to both of us and we had fun watching the contestants compete and create some beautifully intricate sweet treats that often had our mouths watering. We’d typically fast forward through some of the longer competition scenes (the beauty of Netflix!) but the show was a nice way to unwind at the end of a long day.

Around the Web

Food: Spiced Butternut Squash Muffins / Grandma’s Peanut Brittle / Healthy Garlic Scallops / Vegan Eggnog

Fitness: 20 Minute Butt + Legs Workout / Beginner Interval Workout

Sales and Holiday Savings: Extra 30% off sale at Kate Spade with code EXTRATREAT + free shipping (love this wine-color crossbody) / Nike Gifts Under $50 (the strappy back on this breathable tank is adorable and I have this sports bra and love it for low-impact workouts) / Everything on sale up to 60% off at Old Navy (awesome prices on toddler winter clothing)

$350 VISA Gift Card Giveaway Winner

Congratulations to Marie, the winner of RetailMeNot’s $350 VISA gift card giveaway! Marie said, “I love the 50% off at Walgreens so I can finally get my Christmas cards printed and sent! Nothing like waiting til the last minute! I also printed the Christmas Tree coupon – I love that store!!” Marie was emailed first thing this morning. Thank you so much to all who entered!!

Friday Flashbacks

Large Batch Holiday Puppy Chow (The perfect festive recipe to make during the holiday season when you want to spread a little joy to a lot of people.)

Hot Holidays At Home Workout (No equipment required!)

Question of the Day

What is one thing that is making you smile this week?

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/things-im-loving-friday-214/

[daysofnikki-blog]

The next Wednesday night.

And I thought four days was a while to wait. Now it’s been ten. Geez. I started writing this last night but I dropped a Bugle on the floor and deleted the post as I picked it up. I started writing it just now, again, and deleted it again cause I’m a dumbass. I’m really hoping it doesn’t happen a third time.

So, last Saturday I stayed in my Little Mermaid jammies as planned and it was fucking awesome. No regrets.

Sunday I went back on OKCupid and actually answered a message on there for some damn reason. Guy named Matt. A British engineer. In his spare time he climbs mountains, mainly ice, usually alone. His favorite thing about me is my big heart.

We met for brunch at the Black Walnut in Norcross. Had such an enjoyable time that we went for a hike in Roswell after. When I finally went home he was texting me to invite me on a trip to Canada next month to climb frozen waterfalls with him. That night we met for drinks at an Irish Pub. At the end of the night the kiss was so good he picked me up in the parking lot and wrapped my legs around him. The only thing stopping me from fucking him right then and there was the possibility of ending up on a sex offenders list. Damn he is great.

Monday I went to REI to look for the proper gear for Canada. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. Did you know there are metal attachments for shoes that are basically the equivalent of snow chains for tires? Now you do.

Tuesday was Halloween. He took me to REI to help me out, but I’m still unsure on what all I would need. We had dinner at Seasons 52, a nice place by Perimeter. We each had two glasses of Panachere while he told me about his wine cellar in Tokyo.

After we went to his place. Had a lot more wine. Met his adorable Corgi, Bee. Love her already. I had been adamant about using a condom, and remember pulling one out of my purse. I don’t remember much else, except the sex was rough and I felt awful. The next day the condom was still on the nightstand. Scared me.

I lasted a half hour at work before going home. As soon as I walked in the door I vomited everywhere. Told myself I would nap but wake up in time to work with Jacob. By the time I woke up, though, the work day was over.

I did feel a lot better though, and met up with Matan for pizza at Fellini’s. He was tired from working in NYC all weekend; he’d just gotten back the day before. I could tell he was exhausted as soon as I saw him. Eyes were heavy. He also didn’t remember a fucking thing about me; kept asking me questions we had already covered. I didn’t mind much, cause I can understand exhaustion, but I still gave him hell for it just to be funny. Went back to his place after. Had sex, which I initiated. I’d thought about fucking him all day Saturday in my jammies. Sex was… okay. Not bad, not great. Asked him to fuck me on the balcony, and he did. Asked him to fuck me in front of the mirror, and he did, even if I wasn’t positioned to see into the damn thing. He didn’t like to kiss on the mouth either, which always gets me off. Afterwards I left. He invited me to stay but I just didn’t want to.

Next day I got into… not an argument, but not a happy conversation about the condom with Matt. He said we got carried away. Said I was insinuating it was his fault. I guess I was. I didn’t mean to. It just scared me.

Friday I saw Matt again. Went to his place and watched Netflix. Realized I was stupid to have been scared; he used a condom, without me asking, and holy shit is he a good fuck. Just as rough as I like it, but kind of tender-sweet, too. A rare combo to find. I had nice bruises on my ass the next day and wore them proudly. The next day he went climbing. He said he was going with “the lads” but I’m 99% certain he went alone, which is fine by me. I love being alone too.

I went to Staycation with Jules. Met at her place and true to nature, she gave me a few edibles to eat before we left while we did our hair. Also gave me some amazing lipsticks because Jules is awesome.

Her husband got us a corner room at the W in Downtown. Two whole walls were windows. Beautiful, huge room. Cannot imagine how much it cost. We ordered from an expensive BBQ place for dinner… the friend mac & cheese sticks and pimento cheese/bacon marmalade wontons were phenomenal. The next morning we got an impressive array of food from Room Service. She bought us matching white silk robes with floral patterns. Thankfully the waistline is adjustable cause I left that hotel ten pounds heavier. We spent our time playing with makeup and on Snapchat. Watched the new IT before bed which was surprisingly awesome. Smoked a lot of weed in the bathroom. She had brought blow too, but I have zero interest in that. The next day before we checked out I took sexy photos of her as a Thank You to her hubby.

Sunday I was alllllmost home from her place when she called and told me that she had left a giant Mason jar of weed in my bag. So I turned around and drove back to her place a helluva lot slower than I had driven from it. By the time I got home there wasn’t time to do much but go to bed. Matt was pretty distant. Matan asked to meet up on Monday. I said yes.

We went to his place to order in sushi and watch a documentary on Israeli cuisine. The sex was a little boring, but damn it got exciting at the end when he said, “Where’s the condom?” Spoiler Alert- it was inside me, somewhere. So I freaked out slightly and ran to the bathroom to finger-bang myself in eight different positions. I had just gotten my nails done and scraped the fuck out of my insides. It was also hard for me because I never finger myself to masturbate (I’m more of a humper) so I couldn’t tell what was condom and what was pussy to be honest. Asked him to help because he was saying we may need to go to the ER, and he became SO squeamish. Like… really?? You were just spreading my butthole apart in front of a mirror but helping me with a medical issue by going into the pussy you were just inside, you won’t do? What an asshole. I asked to stay over in case anything happened, and he didn’t even offer to walk me to my car that was four blocks away, in Midtown, at midnight. Douche. Even worse, when we got in bed he told me, several times, not to touch him or he couldn’t sleep, and made me listen to a WWII podcast on his phone before bed. This guy has zero intimacy. When I kissed his head goodbye to go to work (he was still sleeping) he said, “That’s it?” like he was glad the ordeal of me staying over was finished. Not goodbye. Not "Have a good day." Just "That’s it."

Still wouldn’t mind staying friends though.

Tuesday I text Jules and Jaime my issue. Jules immediately offers to fingerbang me to retrieve it. Told me I could lay on her kitchen table and she had a speculum. Jaime just laughed and prayed for me. At 10:00, after many squats and lunges, I said fuck it, took off my nails, sat on the toilet at work, and went to town. IT CAME OUT. Thank God. I there it in the trash until Jaime asked if I had flushed it. Last time the toilets clogged they actually posted a picture of the clog at work. She said it would be hilarious to see a post about a condom clog, and I agreed, so I dug it out of the trash and flushed it for the lolz.

Matan finally checked in on me… at 2:40. Thanks a lot.

Matt is still really distant. Says he needs to train. I believe him, it’s just… so different from last week.

That night I just cooked a lot. And accidentally super glued my favorite skirt to my leg. I was holding the broken bottle of glue in my hand and accidentally tilted my hand as if reading a watch :(  It seeped through the fabric and attached to my leg. When I went to pull it off, it hurt like hell and ripped my skirt.

Tuesday was quite the bitch.

Today I asked Matt if he wanted to see me this week. He said he really needed to train. Seems to want to see me, just seems more to be worried about his climb. I wrote him a long text that he didn’t reply to (though no reply was needed). I’m just going to give him a few days to himself and be in touch again. I really like him. I love that he loves my big heart. How often do you find that?

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 50, April 2017

On Monday morning, I started my Healthy Cooking on a Budget short course at Balla Balla Community Centre in Cranbourne East. Being the first week, I was naturally a little nervous and socially awkward meeting new people in the group. But I think most people were hesitant in the kitchen as we’re all learning basic cooking techniques at the same level. Our teacher Jodie started the class by running through some food hygiene rules and the importance of washing your hands thoroughly before preparing meals.

We then split up into groups of 3 and cooked a variety of different dishes involving eggs including scrambled eggs, omelettes, pancakes and zucchini fritters. It was really surprising to learn how few ingredients you need to cook each of these recipes and how far you can spread them out if you’re really tight with money. It was slightly intimidating at first but eventually I was gaining confidence and stepped up to a few of the tasks. I really enjoy learning new skills and discovering different meals that I can cook for myself. http://www.ballaballa.com.au/progra...

On Monday night, my parents and I attended a drinks and members night at the Aspire Information Center. I was actually feeling quite nervous walking into the room as socially I was out of my comfort zone here. I got instantly recognised by Steve and Tina who were running the event as I used to serve them at Coles Casey Central a few years back. We each got a couple of drinks vouchers to use plus a personalised name badge and entry for a door prize.

Sitting down on the plush green sofa, I felt even more anxious and uncomfortable introducing myself to some of the other guests clambering around me. I just remained polite and kept on smiling. The two beers I had did little to settle my nerves. In fact, I wanted to doze off and sink into the cushions to escape this social function. Steve did his little sales speech about the benefits of their Classic Holidays timeshare program and I basically tuned out. Thankfully he didn’t pressure us into making an appointment and signing up to it.

On Anzac Day morning, we got up early and attended a breakfast gathering at the Aqua Cafe in the Nepean Country Club. It was a buffet style meal with lots of pancakes, fruit, tea, coffee and juice. It was a little crowded but the food was worth it. Later in the afternoon, we drove down to Arthurs Seat again and visited the Seawinds Gardens. The rain and wind was picking up so I spent the walk holding an umbrella. The gardens were really beautiful though with the trees revealing the many colours of autumn. There were also several lookouts, a duck pond and a nursery nearby. http://www.discovermorningtonpeninsula.com.au/...

On Anzac Day night, I had the my session of the Group Strength Training program at Breakaway Fitness in Narre Warren. Sadly, I was Luke Davey’s only client tonight despite pushing the promotion really hard in the weeks leading up to it. I’m a very caring and empathetic person so I want other people in my life to succeed and I hope that in the coming weeks, there will be a bit more interest and a few more clients in the group.

I spent the session telling Luke all about my weekend down in Rye. I feel like I’m coming out of my shell a little more each time I see him and I’m learning that I can trust him now when I’m struggling. Of course, there’s still moments of silence and sometimes I have thoughts like “What should I ask him now? How can I break the ice?” but I’m learning to be more gentle with myself and not feel pressured to speak up if I have nothing to say. https://www.facebook.com/breakawayf...

WARM-UP...Tonight’s warm-up exercises consisted of three 90-second squat holds, a 3 minute butterfly sit with 10kg on each thigh and three rounds of 12 weighted glute bridges. I’m pretty used to these particular exercises from my one-on-one sessions but I was still feeling very tight and sore in my glutes and thighs.

DEVELOPMENT...For the development, I did three round of 5 weighted back squats. Tonight I managed to do 60kg squats which is my heaviest weight so far. I was a little shaky with some of my reps but I did my best to correct my posture and tried to be mindful of keeping my heels firmed grounded during the movement. It’s all practice but I think I’ve improved heaps since I started doing them.

WORK-OUT...For tonight’s workout, I had to do 40-30-20-10 reps of the following exercises: squats on the bench and butterfly sit ups. I gave myself a goal of 10 minutes and I soon realised that it was going to be a tough one to reach. The first two rounds were probably the hardest, particularly doing the butterfly sit ups. I was struggling to keep up the pace and fatigue was hitting me hard. I was also sliding around a bit and I had to keep correcting my position on the mat.

Thankfully I made it up in the last two rounds, smashing out the squats really quickly and trying to be more consistent with my sit ups. The fire was definitely unleashed during the final 10 reps. I was determined to get under 10 minutes or at least try to. I got 9 minutes and 29 seconds. I honestly couldn’t believe it but somehow I found the energy to finish the workout really fast.

On Thursday morning, my parents and I picked up our cat Prudence aka Bubbie from the Catshack in Narre Warren North. The owner Simon was quite concerned with her health as she hadn’t touched her food in 24 hours and was noticeably weak. We decided to take her straight to Pound Road Veterinary Clinic for a check up. In the car, I was monitoring her closely in the back seat, checking for any vital signs. She was still breathing and moving slightly in her carry cage. So I was feeling optimistic that she was going to pull through this.

Arriving at the veterinary clinic, Bubbie was rushed into the emergency surgery room after the receptionist noticed how cold she was. They placed her on a thermal mat to attempt to raise her body temperature. I was pretty much like an episode of RPA with the nurses running around the table trying desperately to revive our cat. Unfortunately, she didn’t make it. Her probable cause of death was heart and kidney failure with old age.

I spent some time holding her with a towel wrapped around her lifeless body. I almost couldn’t handle it as it was really confronting for me. Her mouth was gaping wide open and I kept expecting her to miraculously wake up even though I knew it wouldn’t happen. One of the hardest stages of grief for me is acceptance. Not only acknowledging that she’s died but being okay with that fact. It’s going to take me a while to get over it.

She lived to the ripe old age of 18 and despite having numerous health issues in her last year, she didn’t stop fighting until the end. It really broke my mum the most. She was absolutely devastated as Bubbie was very much a part of our family. It was really tough seeing mum so upset like that. I was feeling quite shaken and emotional as I really didn’t expect it to happen so suddenly. It’s going to be really tough accepting that she won’t be running around the house nagging for food or lounging around on the mats anymore.

On Friday night, I attended a Yoga class at YMCA Casey ARC in Narre Warren. This class was actually held inside the Creche rather than the Group Fitness room. It seemed quite weird at first but the space was certainly large enough for it. It was my second class with yoga instructor Dr. Vijaya Patil and sadly she was officially retiring after tonight’s class. It was really good to experience yoga from a more traditional perspective. https://www.fitnessfirst.com.au/fin...

We covered many different areas including Joint Therapy, Sun Salutations (Standing forward bend, plank, cobra, child’s pose, downward facing dog), Standing Postures (Side stretches), Balancing, Seated Postures (Side leg raises, camel pose, fish pose) and Meditation (Chanting, Full body scan). Vijaya is very informative, explaining the health benefits for each of the different poses we were doing. After such a tough and emotional day, I felt so much better after finishing this class. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/...

On Saturday night, I attended the Rope Climbs to Everest charity event at UFT PLAYgrounds in Berwick. Unfortunately, I had to work all day and so by the time I got there, I missed out on all the rope climbing action. Still I have no regrets about making an appearance to show my support for the vent. It was good catching up with all the other trainers despite being dog tired and socially awkward. It’s always been difficult for me to insert myself into conversations. I also get bored easily and know where my limits are when it comes to social interaction.

The cause itself is to raise $20,000 and climb 20,000 meters. The money raised goes toward providing support and treatment towards people suffering from anxiety, depression and suicide. It really is such an important cause seeing as I suffer from mental illness myself and so I wanted to get myself involved. Hopefully next year I’ll be strong and fit enough to participate as an actual climber and spend more time at the event. If you’d like to donate, you can do so here: https://www.gofundme.com/ropeclimbs...

“Recognize. Synchronize. Harmonize. What’s inside. Become the one, become the one, you know you are. We’ve got life. We’ve got love.” Goldfrapp - Become The One (2017)

“Just a little light flickering, out on the horizon. Just a little light there, what do I. Should I know. I should’ve known that. They’ll be coming right back, through the ripples of black” Goldfrapp - Zodiac Black (2017)