#Fuck I just needed to get this off my chest

[luckthebard]

I am very much of the opinion that many, many problems in fandoms (and therefore also the Critical Role fandom) are, if not directly caused by, at the very least exacerbated by, misinformation, unfounded speculation and short fandom memories. It’s why I spend time on here trying to address it. 

But everyone can do their part to try and combat it! Look for answers to questions before making assumptions. Check out CR socials to see if they’ve commented on anything. Look on their website. Use google.

Misinformation is how we’ve gone through a full 360 degree cycle of twitter outrage, for example, about the closed captioning on CR. This is essentially the trajectory of the complaints:

Due to lack of funding by Legendary Digital Network, Geek and Sundry doesn’t provide closed captioning for any of their shows -> 

Fans create a volunteer captioning system for G&S’s biggest show, Critical Role ->

People both within and outside the fan community start, with varying degrees of anger, demanding that CR take accessibility seriously and pay for profession captions (accusations here of CR exploiting unpaid fan labor) -> 

Almost as soon as CR becomes independent of G&S, they announce hiring a professional captioning service (interesting to note that the concerns about captions on CR were far more often directed at the CR cast, not G&S, the entire time G&S and LDN were in control of that decision about accessibility) ->

professional captions come out on a delay, just like the volunteer captions did, with auto-generated captions filling in until the 4 hour transcript can be created (this delay is now shorter than it used to be under the volunteer system) -> 

people don’t read the announcement explaining the new captioning service, and assume the auto-generated captions which appear with the video as soon as it comes out are the “professional captions” -> 

people start complaining loudly to the cast on twitter that they messed up by hiring a professional captioning service, and that they must not care about accessibility because the volunteer group was “better” -> 

the few people who realize the auto-captions aren’t the professional ones start complaining about the delay (again, shorter than when it was a volunteer project) ->

CR starts pre-recording their content and the captions are available on Thursdays as the stream comes out. People start commenting online thanking “the volunteers who do the captions” for being so prompt -> 

There are issues with the rebroadcast captions being corrupted, and so people start yelling again about CR not caring about accessibility 

Now, asking for and even demanding accessibility is a necessary thing. I rely on captions, so I’m very, very glad CR pays for professional ones now.

The issue here is this entire cycle of fandom understanding of how this works and what the history was. The fandom memory of the way captioning worked/works on this show was entirely lost, and you still have people hashtagging and @ -ing the cast on twitter complaining about something they don’t have a full understanding of. 

And the thing is, information on this is not hard to find! If you google “Critical Role Closed Captions,” the very first link that pops up is a clearly dated 2019 announcement (critrole.com announcement) explaining the shift from volunteer to professional captioning, with a full explanation of the time-table for getting the accurate transcript onto the episodes vs. the auto-generated captions that first appear.

I just really, really want to implore people to look into things and find information before passing judgement about something online. And to not take at face value speculation and assumptions made by people on social media, particularly if they don’t provide any sources for the object of their anger or complaint. We can all be better about this. 

[lightheaded-dullahan]

Ah fuck I’ve got a few words about some revaluations in Kriemhild’s profile…

So in the big bond 5 and I believe her line to Siegfried - she’s basically become bitter and hateful of Siegfried upon finding out from Hagen that the only reason Hagen killed him was for his own sake. And how her entire revenge was for someone who didn’t even love her (her own words).

Except…that’s such an awful interpretation??? Especially from Kriemhild.

Siegfried’s entire thing during the drama of his wife, his brother in law, and Brünnhilde is that HE believes he is to blame. That all the suffering his wife, and everyone else is going through, can be solved with his death. It often reads to me as Siegfried being heavily suicidal- and turns his death into instead of a perceived betrayal to instead an assisted suicide. Hagen even knows himself he’ll go down as an evil villain - but he does it because it is the one thing Siegfried has ever asked for.

Now, sure, we can blame Siegfried for what happens afterwards. But Kriemhild is the one who revealed his weak spot. Surely she has blame? But no, Hagen tricked her into revealing it.

Well we can’t blame Hagen , he already took the blame with his killing of Siegfried. But he’s not to blame.

It always goes back to Gunther. Kriemhild’s brother. HES always the one it goes back to.

The whole reason Brünnhilde thinks Siegfried is a vassel and thus gets into a fight with Kriemhild? Because Gunther refused to let Siegfried be with Kriemhild unless he helped him win the queen.

The whole reason Brünnhilde wants Siegfried dead? Gunther commanded Siegfried to strip her down for him when she easily hung him up because she wasn’t happy being married to him.

Kriemhild and Siegfried are both victims in the story. Siegfried’s death is the catalyst for revenge. But the way they handle her reaction feels

Wrong.

It feels like, in a sort of disgusting way, that it’s supposed to be to allow her to be free for the players to imagine themselves in. Maybe that’s not it, and I’m just overthinking - but considering so much else ? I can believe it.

And I hate it.

All it does is reinforce that Siegfried was the true villain. He was no hero. All he did was cause suffering.

It was *never* Siegfried alone who caused suffering. Siegfried is shown time and time again to give himself such little wants of his own that it doesn’t make sense.

Siegfried has done three things for himself.

1. He asked Hagen to kill him, to spare his wife and Brünnhilde from their suffering

2. He gave up his heart to Sieg so that he could live- not because he was asked to, but because he wanted to

And-

3. He came to court Kriemhild because he had fallen in love with her.

The only thing Siegfried and Kriemhild did to deserve their suffering was fall in love with one another.

And I hate how even that has been taken from them now.

[juskru]

It actually happened. Supergirl is over.

I usually lose my mind while watching the episodes, posting as many stupid and sassy comments as I can come up with 😆

But not this Tuesday.

Couldn't come up with anything. Still can't, to be honest. So this post won't be my finest job 🙈

Ever since the finale it's been a mix of being about to combust at any second and feeling hollow at the same time. What kind of sorcery is this? 🤨

Fucking pissed Disappointed that we didn't get the Supercorp we needed? Of course.

Surprised? No. 😂 As the main targets of the showrunners blatant greed and malice to increase ratings at all costs - including our hearts and sanity - were we ever surprised? 🙄

Doesn't mean it hurts any less.

But we did get our Supercorp 💖

After everything that's happened in these 5 years, especially this last season, we know very well that Supercorp is more than real. It just wasn't as obvious as our girls deserved because fuck you coward homophobic showrunners, I'll despise you for the rest of my life 🖕.

Mirrored/synchronized gestures. Longing glances. Comfort seeking. A way of staring at each other that is reserved only for them.

Instant change in mood and body language when seeing each other. Refusing to allow the other to be in any kind of danger and yet never hesitating to put themselves in harm's way for them.

Literally risking the safety of the entire universe for one another. Defying the laws of physics to create solutions to ensure their protection. Never giving up on each other, even when everybody else did.

Unadmitted confessions.

This scene still makes my heart skip several beats 👆

"I know how much your sister means to you Alex, and yet today you made the most painful sacrifice because it was the right thing to do, and I... I don't think I could do that"

Then we have Alex yeeting all reason to the sun, taking all the totems to Lex to save Esme 😏

"I believe in you"

"It's only because you're on the team that I'm here"

And Kara LEANED IN, bruh! 🤣😭🙌🙌

Alex's reaction was so delicious 😂 And loud!

And countless other moments 😌

And Queller and Rovner have the AUDACITY of trying to pass their feelings as just friendship?? When people that don't even watch the damn thing can see right away that they're in love? 🤦🏻‍♀️

"My office is overflowing with flowers"

"You're the only person in the galaxy I know will do right by it"

"For a friend like you, there are no boundaries"

"You protected me from losing a part of myself. You always do"

They have something that's so uniquely theirs. So easy to see, hard to explain and impossible to deny.

"It's not just what I feel for you. It's what I do not feel for anyone but you" (not sure who the author is)

I know it sucks not having the ending we wanted, even a Korrasami style one. But we still got it.

But the sheer insolence of choosing to develop a faux romantic relationship between the bald psychopath and the imp in the few remaining episodes instead of allowing Kara's 5-year relationship with Lena to take its natural course for no other excuse than the fact that Lena is a woman - as the fandom discussed multiple times, had either Lena or Kara been a man, their actions would've been seen as romantic a looong fucking time ago - is just grotesque.

If the showrunners only intent was to queerbait us to finish the series with strong ratings, then they shot themselves in the foot, because all they did was comfirm what we all knew since the very first time the best Luthor graced the screen with her presence 😂

"Of all the friends I've ever had, you have pushed me the most. Challenged me the most"

"You've made me a better person"

It happened. Supercorp happened. That's a fact. And no you can't change my mind, and no this is not up for debate. Go pester someone else u.ú

There's only so much the actors can do when they're being suffocated by the assholes that call the shots. But it's more than just the script.

Everything that was within Melissa's and Katie's (and the rest of the cast too, specially Chyler, I love you babe) power to give us, they did it with beautiful and brilliantly thoughtful acting choices - easiest way to see this is by muting the sound of supercorp scenes (specially the finale) and focus only on what they're trying to show you. Look at their eyes and where they're going, their faces and bodies, their touches. They're trying to show you what the script won't allow them to say with words.

They fought for us till the very end 💖

Ugh their love is soooo loud! 😭

All in all, the show ended with the characters on their way to happiness, feeling at peace with themselves, full of hope for the future. A happy ending to all of them. In the end that's all we wish for the people we care about ❤

That alone was better than most series out there - again, I'm looking at you cw ಠ ωಠ ( っ'-')╮ =͟͟͞͞💣

As much as I would've loved to see a big wet tongue-sucking kiss, my babies have a whole future ahead of them where that's gonna happen (shout out to all you beautiful magicians out there giving us endless heartwarming content 😘).

All things considered, I'm fine with that ❤

I think the weight in my chest comes from not being able to say "there's always next season", "there's always next episode" anymore. And the cast is so incredibly sweet and genuine that knowing they won't be around their little found family as often, and we won't be a part of that as much, is making me miss them that much more.

Don't even get me started on all the scenes from the finale that weren't shown in every country and the big chunk of dialog that was removed; I'm still livid at that 😤

I really really hope the fandom gives Queller and Rovner absolute HELL from now on 😈

Don't touch the actors nor the writers or anybody else in the crew. They have no say at all in what happens in a show. What we see on the screen is what the showrunners allow.

[stuckinakillingjar]

ok i'm just gonna come out and say it people who are honest to god strictly against anyone shipping giomis and cancelling other people over it just because mista is 18 are clowns lol

first of all before i even start talking: i don't really care for giomis. it just baffles me how SO MANY people are acting like it's the devil incarnate lmaooo

i mentioned this in another post, but mista had turned 18 4 months before golden wind happened and yall call him an adult already. i have literal people in my class who are that old and i'm not even in 12th grade yet

connected to point 1: people i know irl who are just as old as mista have relationships with friends of mine who are/were 15 or 16 years old and no one bats an eye. why would it be a problem in an anime where the characters we are talking about are literal mafiosi

i went out of my way to calculate their age difference and it's 2 years and 4 months. my parents have a larger age gap than that. literally most parents have an age gap like that or even larger 💀

when anyone wants to mention the "power imbalance" and mista having "more power over giorno because he's 18" ...giorno is deadass a mafia boss and mista is his subordinate pls think for just a second lmao

you know, and then there are people who compare giomis to bullshit like fucking josu//han or bru//gio which are NOT OK AT ALL. like giomis is not that fucking deep my friends chill out

(oh and not to get that deep into this whole thing but..shikatema is one of the most popular ships in all of naruto (at least of the straight side) and they have the same age difference as giomis in shippuden. the only time i have ever seen anyone complain about that, was on a blog that is specifically catered at people wanting to argue over naruto ships. i'm pretty involved in the naruto fandom and that's the only time i've ever seen anyone bring up their age difference. make of that what you will.)

[tayegi]

A note on Asian privilege

As some of you know, I live in a small, predominantly white suburban town. Last week, I went to the grocery store and stood in line waiting to check out behind this old white couple. I noticed the nice conversation the cashier was having with the couple, and figured that we might have a similar exchange. So I went up to the cashier when it was my turn with a friendly greeting, but the moment she laid eyes on me, her expression completely changed. She immediately dove for her hand sanitizer and smeared it all over before she would even touch my groceries, and didn’t respond to my greeting. And even as she bagged my groceries, she refused to make eye contact, and kept a healthy distance between us, even with the glass divider already in place. And that’s when I realized that she wasn’t just being rude-- she was terrified of me. That even though I was born and raised in the US and have not stepped foot in Wuhan China, she was scared that I might carry a deadly virus and get her sick. 

I have experienced many condescending and outright racist insults in my life, both subtle (e.g., “But where are you really from?”) and overt (e.g., “Go back to your country” and other racist slurs), but never have I ever experienced anyone reacting to me with fear before. And when I told this story to my family, they were equally as shocked. “Why would she be scared?” “But you’re so small and harmless!” I remember feeling strangely embarrassed by the encounter-- like I was the one to blame for the cashier’s fear of me. That I should apologize for the deadly coronavirus just on account of me being Asian. 

And that’s when I realized that this is exactly what Black Americans have experienced everyday for hundreds of years. 

That feeling of being seen as dangerous. Of others being afraid of you. It is gut-wrenching. And it is mind-blowing that no one in my family has experienced this until 2020 with COVID-19. This fear of Asians will pass, as COVID-19 either passes or becomes integrated into our daily lives. But the association of Blacks as dangerous criminals still continues, and will continue unless we do something about it. 

I am so beyond privileged that I can walk into a store without fear of being followed by a cashier or accused of robbery. That I can call police for help without fear of being shot or arrested instead. 

Asian Americans are called the “model minority” and some even wear this title as a badge of honor. It is not a compliment and should not be viewed as such. It’s a manipulative way to turn minority groups against each other. “Look at how much Asians have achieved. Why can’t black/Latino people be more like them?” Why? Because Asians already come from a place of immense privilege. 

We love to pat ourselves on the back and think of ourselves as hard-working underdogs who overcame the barriers of language and racism to succeed. I won’t deny that there are hardships that immigrants and other Asians face. No one is saying that you didn’t suffer!! But your sufferings are in no way comparable to what Black Americans face on a daily basis. And that’s because most Asians come from highly educated or wealthy backgrounds. Think of all the international students you know-- what’s the stereotype about them? That they’re filthy rich, huh? And why’s that? Because it’s true. Asians currently have the highest SES and are the most educated of all ethnic groups in the United States. The only Asians who are allowed to immigrate to the U.S. are usually the richest or most educated. And there aren’t negative stereotypes about dangerousness or criminal behavior around us. 

My dad was a poor grad student, and I grew up in relative poverty as a kid. I remember watching him struggle to make ends meet. But even then, we were highly privileged. Both my parents already had their bachelor’s degrees before immigrating. Do you know how rare that is? Both of them had decades of education and support that set them up for success in the United States. Sure, there was the language barrier, but they were offered free ESL classes from the university. And if all else failed, they could easily just go back to their homeland and find work there. And once my dad graduated with his graduate degree, he was instantly able to find high paying jobs that instantly launched us up to the middle class. Yes, I was poor growing up. Yes, my parents struggled. But they were highly educated, coming from privileged families, and could teach me and pass down those skills. 

The number one predictor of your future SES and income is your parents’ income. 

Let that sink in. 

It’s not hard work. It’s not intelligence. It’s what privilege you were born with that determines your success. Now imagine if you had to start all the way back with slavery. Where you were just an object and had no rights or money. The “American Dream” is just a lie rich people tell to keep poor people in their place. “If you work hard, you can achieve success.” And then they try to use Bill Gates or Zuckerberg as examples of this “American Dream.” Bullshit. Sure, Gates & Zuckerberg dropped out of Harvard to pursue their dreams, but they were privileged enough to get into Harvard in the first place. And I can guarantee you that I would have never gotten into my PhD program-- wouldn’t have even dreamt of applying, if not for my family of academics. 

Asian Americans need to shake off the title of “model minority” and stand with Black Americans. We might be seen as particularly well-behaved dogs, but we’re still dogs in the system. We’ve seen how fast the American public has turned on us during the COVID pandemic. I doubt there’d be even a fraction of this xenophobia and violent hatred if the virus came from Europe. Don’t forget that Japanese Americans were imprisoned in internment camps during WWII. Not even Germans, who started the war, but the foreign-looking ones. And don’t forget that the Chinese weren’t even considered human and weren’t allowed to be U.S. citizens until less than 80 years ago. The system is no friend of ours. No matter how they try to flatter us with all this “model minority” bullshit. We are not special and we will never be seen as equals by Whites. 

Standing in solidarity with Black Lives Matter is standing for equality. It means that we will not put up with white supremacy and systemic injustices anymore. The system is broken, and I am sick and tired of seeing other Asian Americans do everything in their power to try to be perfect, unoffending citizens and appease white people in power. We have to fight for justice and equality. Not just because the tides can turn at any time and put us at harm, but simply because it is the right thing to do. And we, as a community, are in a unique position of privilege in order to make change. 

Black Lives Matter. And check your goddamn privilege. 

[roxannepolice]

When end of the universe un-happens with no proper explanation, ttc plot doesn't get snuffed properly, iconic villains are splashed together for vague reasons and with no good banter, new villains simmer out pitifully and a good deal of plots turn out to be rather excessive:

When Time warns the Doctor against "Master" and BBC iPlayer goes capital M:

[iamanartichoke]

Some people: I reject this canon bc I don't like it! I'm gonna rewrite whatever I want to! I refuse to accept Ragnarok/the series/ etc as canon bc I hate it and it sucks and is ~problematique~ don't tell me how to fandom

Also some people: Um Loki's eyes are CANONICALLY A Color, y'all can headcanon what you want but I am 1000% serious and unyielding on this so keep your dumbass headcanons away from my pure canon Loki, who doesn't need to be changed anyway bc he's perfect as he is

This is an extremely petty post, and I'm not above admitting it, but I have just unfollowed and blocked some people with whom I've been mutuals for literal years, bc it's not that I care that "canon says this" and "I don't share your headcanon," I literally don't give a shit about Loki's eye color - it's that if I can't even make light-hearted comments on a mutual's posts without it snowballing into What's Correct and What's Not, not to mention getting condescending shade thrown at me in the tags and my clarification that I wasn't trying to Start Shit being completely ignored, then honestly, good riddance. I'm tired of the negativity, I'm tired of everything always being an Issue, I'm tired of walking on eggshells in this stupid fandom bc I keep trying to spare people's feelings and give them the benefit of the doubt even when I no longer agree with them or their takes bc "we're friends." Clearly we are not friends, and my feelings don't matter, so I'm done. I realize they won't care that I'm done, or likely even notice, and maybe I'm making mountains out of molehills here or reacting to "imagined slights" but whatever - it's for my own peace of mind, anyway.

[butterballbuttnakey]

Currently reminding myself that not everything is black & white. Allow space & time for communication and explanations before making final decisions. Relationships are complicated and challenging, especially in the beginning when you're still learning each other. Relationships are mirrors; they bring up all the shadowy parts of yourself that you've buried & ignored and they put them in your face and make you look at them and address them. Relationships are opportunities for growth and change; to consciously choose & do something different than what you've always chosen

[inessencedevided]

.

[onetwothree]

[unluckystreak]

dont understand why for a lot of ppl Milo going “hehehe hey bisco, do you like my sister’s boobs hehehe hohohoho” holds more weight than milo saying “bisco i don’t know how to tell you how i feel ... i love you” but ok!!!!!

[pepprs]

the problem with eating food is that if i eat food then i don’t have more food to eat and i can’t get more food to eat bc i am living paycheck to fucking paycheck rn

[life-of-a-nervous-wreck]

Constantly feeling like I'm in a vicious cycle of losing friends and not making any others atm. University is supposed to be where you make the friends you keep for life, and I've really not managed to meet many people at all. Idk, I just can't help feeling like this is my last chance.

[sparkly-things]

I'll meet a very pretty and cute girl in two days, and I'm so angry at my body for betraying me: to begin with, I got covid last week so I had to postpone the original date of our meeting. Thought I'd be good by this week but I still have the most embarrassing cold-symptoms, aaand to top it off I'll have my period in some days so my skin looks the worst and I'm super emotional too.

I just wanted to make a good impression on her after not seeing her for years, and here I'll be, as a snotty PMS monster, hoping my best that I can pretend to look even remotely as my normal form. 😢💔

[therealvalkyrie]

okay i know it's 2am and nobody cares, but i honestly am really nervous for the new lotr show. a big budget does NOT mean a good piece of media, and to be frank i really don't trust amazon to do a good job with it:/ i'll watch it if people say it's good but like. i don't expect it to be any good lol

[iamanartichoke]

I am posting this mostly to get it off my chest, and I'll probably regret it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think the biggest problem I have with Fandom Wank(tm) in regards to positivity or negativity, is what bothers me has literally nothing to do with whether one's positivity/negativity will turn out to be right.

last night I followed a couple of posts and went down a rabbit hole of "series negativity" bashers' posts, bc apparently I hate myself and do not wish to be in a good mental space right now, and the common thread I noticed is that those who are overwhelmingly positive and take issue with criticism seem to be doing so bc they see their own versions of Loki being portrayed on-screen, either as how they've interpreted him as a character in generral or as how they've written him in fics. And not only are they fiercely protective of those versions but they also get validation from the confirmation that their Loki is The Right Loki(tm). Criticism takes the on-screen portrayal (and, subsequently, their own personal versions of The Right Loki(tm)) and says, uh, I can't actually see Loki doing this? I think this is ooc? I think Loki as portrayed here is not consistent with previous portrayals? -

- and suddenly you've got this rabid backlash on your hands where it becomes 'omg stop being toxic,' 'your headcanon is not canon' (look in the mirror), 'this is tom's loki so it's accurate,' 'i see no difference whatsoever in characterization y'all're just deluded and have invented a loki that never existed' (tf????), etc.

And I can't help but conclude that the backlash against criticism/negativity has nothing to do with the criticism itself; it's more to do with the undermining of someone else's validation in how they view this character.

This is purely speculation. There's some mental gymnastics here, admittedly. I could be way off base and I realize that I risk my post being shared and misconstrued and mocked by even posting it publicly. But the only reason I'm writing this - and thus getting it off my chest after my spiral down the rabbit hole - is bc from my point of view, I didn't feel like my experience in enjoying this tv show was being threatened until the discourse backlash over the negativity started spilling onto my dash. Not the negativity itself; the actual discourse. (And, look, there's a lot of negativity that's been posted that I don't agree with whatsoever, and there's other negativity that I may agree with but don't agree that it's an issue, or - my point is, this isn't bc I don't have conflict with the actual arguments themselves.)

Full disclosure: for the first three weeks, I was more positive than not regarding the show. (I think I still am.) I posted about what I liked but I also posted about what I felt was ooc and about the elements I liked less. A lot of my mutuals are not thrilled (to say the least) with the show, so there was already a ton of negativity on my dash and I personally went through a few minor meltdowns on whether or not I was on the right page with my enjoyment when so many others (whose opinions I trust and whose versions of Loki [that I've read] in fic ring true to me) were not sharing that enjoyment.

I did/have been talking it out with friends who feel similarly and I've more or less come to terms with being in the middle. And in the meantime, when I felt like the negativity was not something I wanted to be cognizant of, I skipped those posts entirely. Doing these things allowed me to come to terms with where I was standing regarding my overall feelings on the series, and overall enjoyment with my fandom experience.

And then, mostly after episode 3 (which seems to be the most divisive so far), discourse started popping up on my dash more and more. I'm defining discourse, in this context, as 'wank regarding whether or not Loki is actually ooc, wank over people who enjoy the show not wanting to see the negativity, wanky posts asking people who are critical to reserve judgement until the show has finished airing (but praise is fine)' -

- and suddenly, I feel much more self-conscious about posting my takes. Suddenly I feel much more anxiety about hitting the "post" button when said post is more critical than not. Suddenly I am worried about who, exactly and actually, is reading my posts? Who is going to decide to paraphrase my takes and include them in a 'guess what they're complaining about NOW' post? Who is going to decide to pass around a post I've made only to mock it, as has happened to some of my friends already?

Over the past three days, I have gotten 30+ new followers, and instead of feeling good about it - hey, some of these may be porn bots but still, people are interested in my blog?! - I feel just increasing anxiety about it bc, I mean, I don't know who anyone is or what they're here for.

I do not feel secure in the current fandom environment, is what I'm saying, and the reason I do not feel secure is not because of the negativity; it's because of the wank coming from the people who post about the negativity and mock the negativity and call other fans deluded stans who have a shitty grasp on characterization, story telling, and Loki in general. It's Ragnarok bullshit all over again, only worse.

And this circles me back to my original point, which is that the anxiety and the wank/discourse and whatever else really has nothing to do with the on-screen portrayal of Loki.

For me, personally? It took me awhile to realize it, admittedly, but I did realize that I do not care if what I perceive as ooc actually isn't. I do not care if the final product of Loki - once the entire series has aired - is a different Loki than what I've written and perceived as "my" Loki all this time. It's not going to make me feel like less of a fan or less valid; it's just going to make me feel like I have a perception of Loki that may differ in some ways with "canon Loki" but is still similar enough that I will continue to enjoy engaging with him and writing meta about him and writing fic about him and sharing those things with people who view Loki similarly. Likewise, I am not going to feel less valid as a writer and a critical thinker; it doesn't make me feel like I have anything to prove.

So if the root of the wank is coming down to the negativity making you feel less valid or less vindicated bc "your" Loki matches the show but is being called ooc by a lot of other fans, like, maybe take a step back and consider not taking it personally? Maybe really think about why the fact that negativity exists bothers you so much? Bc I mean, at the end of the day, it's not like Tom Hiddleston himself is going to descend from the clouds with a choir of angels singing and acknowledge any one of us as The One True Fan Who Has The Best Interpretation Ever of Loki. So what actual difference does it make if (we agree or disagree that) he's ooc or not?

Ultimately I'm just saying, there is definitely wank that is ruining the fandom atmosphere and the show in general, and it's not coming from those who are posting their negativity and criticism of the source material.

*Disclaimer that this is how I am perceiving and interpreting things today and possibly in general, but I'm not necessarily saying that my perception is factual to what is actually happening. I don't know what is happening. This is the guess that I've come up with in order to reconcile the fandom discomfort I feel, discomfort which is ruining the show for me, and where it's all coming from.

** Second disclaimer that I have unfollowed those who were participating in the wank, if I was following them in the first place, to the point that it made me uncomfortable, and obviously this post doesn't apply to everyone bc there is a certain amount of just being tired of it that I understand, so if we're mutuals, this doesn't apply to you regardless of where you stand on the wank.

*** Third disclaimer that said fandom environment is what makes me feel like I have to add disclaimers on every fucking thing I say, partly bc people read what they want to read and partly bc I have very debilitating anxiety regarding being misunderstood.