#GODDDDD I COULD TALK MORE im insane about her

[tboys]

i want to hear more about your transgirl laios... she is the most beautiful all time,,,

OUGH THANK U ANON. Im so glad you like her I've been thinking abt trans laios so much

okay so when it comes to her gender and identity it's kind of complicated because like. In my mind laois is an She/it/He agender adjacent transfem. But I also don't really think dungeon meshi world would have the same concepts of queerness as we do so I don't think she would describe herself as such.

I feel like her home village would've been very traditional and strict when it came to gender norms and presentation. Growing up I think she'd be ....average(?) when it came to masculinity. She'd be indifferent and not really understand gender roles as a whole but she'd conform to them to avoid any more scrutiny than she already got. And because it was the one "easy" way to be "normal" she just never questioned her adherence to them.

After running away I think she'd react to the new freedom she has in her presentation and just....not give a shit. And not in a good way, I mean like unhealthy levels of not caring because she was finally allowed to not care. It's not until falin says she looks like there dad and she cleans up that she realizes. Oh I can change my appearance in ways that make me feel good about myself and want to continue feeling good about myself.

And then it's not till AFTER she turned into her dream monster that she'd be like. "Being a big huge scary monster didn't fix some of the things I thought it would...maybe something else is going on..."

[oh-shit-a-baby]

BLACK FRIDAY THOUGHTS PART TWO

A complete compilation of my thoughts throughout the musicals second half,,, this bois going to be real long bc I have a lot of thoughts lol

Now without @drawinglinesinarbitraryplaces :(

Yep dumbledore can still sing

Omg his voice

This song is going to make me cry aaaaa

Becky: you don’t look at all the same as I remember

Me: yeah no shit dumbledore grew a beard

Jesus,,,,, theyre just going to go for it right there,,,,,, ookay

Wtaf is this movie they’re watching

HOLY SHIT HER VOICE IS /PRETTY/ HER RANGE IS HUGE!!!

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion bc no one has an opinion yet but Becky and toms song is the cutest one ever and a bop and I love it

Jesus they payed for a balcony and they’re going to fucking use it aren’t they

WELCOME TO PEIP HQ IM SO DOWN FOR THAT

OH THERE ARE MANY DIMENSIONS????? U GONNA EXPLAIN THAT MR GENERAL MACNAMARA????

The black and white isn’t that what lexs sister was on about

Wiggly is the king u wot m8

President kurt knows nothing about anything and that’s a mood

So if the next movie isn’t about ‘13 years ago’ imma freak

U WANNA SEND ME INTO THE FUCKIN TWILIGHT ZONE AND HAVE DINNER WITH THE DEVIL??????!?!!

NO!!! FUCK THAT!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!

^^^president kurt quotes

In short, mr president, we are trying to stop the birth

*dramatic piano*

Of a god.

*dRAMATIC PIANO*

It’s good score tho 10/10

Sherman young

Nuff said

After today’s great battle???

Faith in the one true god!! All hail wiggly!!!

My new religion lol

LET LAKESIDE MALL BE A NEW JERUSALEM!!!!

*cue joey and Robert just screaming wiggly for like 5 mins straight*

NO THEY FOUND LEX

OH YEAH FUCKIN KILL THEM!!!

Who????????

FUCK YEAH LINDA

CULT??? NO! ITS A NEW EXCITING RELIGION THAT I STARTED!!!!

Yeah Gerald

She pronounces Cinnabon as see-nah-bohn what’s up with that lol

I NEED A WIGGLY DOLL...... IDEALLY FOUR OF THEM!!!

IVE MET GOD. HE HAD NOTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT YOU.

*cue people dying and their mics stopping working*

Holy fuck they all wanna kill Hannah now (lexs sister gets a name now apparently)

LAUREN I LOVE YOU AS A VILLAIN

I would kneel before villain Lauren any day

I will deestroy everything, and then I will deestroy everything, and then I will deestroy everything and then I will oh shit it’s Gerald.

While I don’t want you to think for yourselves I do want you to understand what I mean when I say my evil shit

I’m sorry that choreo is a yike

ETHAN DARLING COME BACK I MISS YOU <<<333333

IM CRYING NOW

He’s in the black and white now we’ll that sounds like shit

NOT ETHAN

Hannah is the unsung hero of this musical so far

*said in wiggly voice* well, webby (Hannah’s spider imaginary friend who I think is gonna be the deus ex machina of this thing) is a stupid bitch!

Rotten little banana. I’m going to peel you. I’m going to split you in two. I’m going to eat you Hannah. I’m going to eat you right now. *all said in dramatic wiggly voice*

Aaand their mics broke again

We don’t get tricked! We’re grown ups!

And Becky and Tom are immediately evil the second they see the wiggly bc of course they are

Jesus beckys the villain???????

Welcome to the musical where everyone gets a villain song AND a hero song??????

Her voice is still beautiful

*Prancing around* DO YOU WANT SOME CANDYYYYY??????

She’s still wearing ethans hat my heart is going to go oh my god

And he just,,,,, leaves Becky to die?????

President Kurt in a space suit oh my god

And America is great again is playing in the background

MACNAMARA SAID ‘GODSPEED’ AND IS THAT A CATCHPHRASE I SENSE THERE

Yeah no president kurt can’t do foreign policy

His name is like howie or something but imma call him president kurt just like Tom was dumbledore for like the first half of this mess

Oh fuck joeys character is here and he’s gonna FUCK PREZ KURT UP

He’s eating an apple that means he’s a asshole

Holy fuck joeys character is like the ultimate capitalist

And also terrifying holy shit

NO MACNAMARA DONT GO IN THERE

Joeys character: Do you think that in the Netherlands they’d care about some toy??? Nah!!! They’re too busy with their free vacations and FREE healthcare!!

(When I refer to joeys character I mean the evil one he just doesn’t have a name yet so idk what to call him)

And joey can still sing I love him

His voice is so good and this whole villain is giving me spies are forever flashbacks

I have absolutely no fuckin clue what’s going on rn

Holy fuck joeys voice is so beautiful and his range is killing me

I take back what I said earlier this song is the best one bc joey

Holy fuck someone just hit like a high d and I have no clue who it was bc the video quality is not the greatest

JESUS THATS TERRIFYING

THE FUCK YOU MEAN DONT BE FRIGHTENED THATS MY SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON

LOOK AT THIS FUCKER JESUS CHRIST

Wiggly is so scary because he speaks like a child and those are scary

MACNAMARA EX MACHINA

Mac: BEGONE

Prez kurt: SORRY JOHN I FUCKED IT UP

THATS THE HOOK FROM NOT YOUR SEED ISNT IT HOLY SHIT

Joeys voice and acting is gonna kill me

Yeah made in America is the shit

MAC NO U CANT DIE U DIE IN TGWDLM

Also the black and white is a dumb as shit name for an alternate reality

Prez kurt: MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

*wiggly voice* Uh-oh mr prezzy-wez. It seems you’ve misplaced your bomby-womb.

Well shits about to go down

I’m calling it the bomb bombed the White House

Oop no they’ve only gone and lost Moscow

Well fuck here comes ww3 I guess

And prez kurt is definitely insane in the brain

ITS THE HOOK AGAIN THE ‘ALIENS INVADING MINDS’ BIT OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE A MUSICAL GENIUS

Jesus Sherman is a weird fuck and lex is kinda clever I guess it’s a shame we haven’t seen her for most of the musical

Lex: I THREW EM IN THE FUCKIN TRASH

LEX BABY NO DONT DIE

Lex: Is this what I live for? To be choked in a toy store?

Lexs beautiful song is this musicals version of not your seed but depression

And her voice is /pretty/

MAC?????????????

WHAT??????????????

OH MY GOD HE IS AUTHORISING HER TO USE HIS FIREARM YES QUEEN

I’m sorry lex and Hannah can do what

Jeffs voice kills me him and joey need a duet and that would be the end of me

What did lex just do in so confused

MAC DID THE SALUTE IMMA CRY YALL

And we’re back with Tom

Oh fuck lex is gonna shoot tom

Hold up Tom names his son Tim

Wiggly is playing mind tricks now yikes

Lex: KIDS DONT WANT THAT PEICE OF SHIT!!!

Tom: wat

Lex: THEYRE ALL INTO FORTNITE DUDE!!!!!

So the doll can only fuck with adults not kids???

Jesus Christ this is depressing

U wot lex

Lex: YOURE LIKE 40!!!!! YOU PROBABLY THINK YOURE LIFE IS OVER!!!!

Holy fuck this shit is deep

Wait lex still doesn’t know about Ethan oh my god

And Dylan gets another hero song holy fuck just give Robert a song already everyone else has one

At the same time though this is S a d

I’m not crying you’re crying

YES DUMBLEDORE U HIT THAT HIGH NOTE

Tom: in fact you’re real fuckin ugly

Me: yeah no shit

Lex: FUCK YEAH!!!! Should i move these boxes first?

*cue very clever scene change*

Yeah Gerald no one wants to talk to u

Oh my god Linda leave Hannah and ethans hat alone my heart is breaking for Hannah

Linda: is this some kind of a jooooke?????

They’re gonna set one of their dolls on fire ok ok ok this is fine

More villain songs ookay

If someone could tell me what the fuck is going on in this scene I’d be very impressed

Evil yoga

YES LAUREN U QUEEN

HOLY FUCK IS THAT CHARLOTTE??????

OH MY GOD ITS JAIME IN THE CHARLOTTE COSTUME IT IS CHARLOTTE HOLY SHIT

ITS CHARLOTTE AND THE HOMELESS DUDE HOLY SHIT

The choreo is...... interesting

Cue Robert not-Corey and Lauren being the only good dancers and getting special choreo

FUCK YEAH BECKY WITH THE GUN

LINDA NO

Ookay so everyone’s on fire this is fine

Emma and Paul ex machina

SOMEBODY NUKED MOSCOW!

paul is family third wheeling

YOU KNOW, SHE HAS THIS KOOKY RECLUSIVE BIOLOGY PROFESSOR

*audience fucking looses their shit*

WHO LIVES ON THE EDGE OF TOWN

Paul is having an existential crisi because he sHOULD HAVE WORN A WATCH

Someone’s gonna fall of that staircase by the end of this performance

HOLY FUCK ITS THE HOT CHOCOLATE KID

IT IS THE HOT CHOCOLATE KID OH NY GODDDDD

LOOK AT HIM

It’s the what if tomorrow comes bit!!!!!!!

Okay again this choreo is interesting but the vocals are all S t u n n i n g

They’re literally counting down until the end of the show imma loose my shit that’s the least subtle they’ve been during the entire show

Hang on hang on hang on hang on haaaaang on right there

Did lex just never find out that her boyfriend died we were deprived of a heart wrenching moment when she found out about Ethan

Like jeez I cried and I barely knew him she was dating the guy and just... didn’t ask about him????

ITS THE HOOK AGAIN

That’s it!!!!! Those were my thoughts the first time I watched this through!!!!!!!

Scream at me in the notes with any questions and I’ll try answer them :)

[doctormage]

hi i just need to be really dramatic and long winded bc if i dont get it Out im going to fucking explode

ive actually been trying really hard this semester with my thesis and its REALLY fucking difficult for me. my depression makes me catatonic and unable to complete simple tasks or be motivated to do literally anything; my anxiety paralyzes me at the slightest unexpected change and then obsess over whether everyone in my life hates me because of my anxiety; my sleep schedule is constantly fucked and my doctor is unhelpful; my bdd will sidetrack me from my work and responsibilities for literal hours or days, and sometimes if its feeling spicy send me on a full scale fucking breakdown; and my adhd makes all this shit worse on TOP of all the NORMAL adhd shit. like thats just!!! my life!!!! at all times!!!!! and there have been several times where i have genuinely considered leaving this program or not continuing school after bc i was so fucking overwhelmed and exhausted and scared but i didnt!!! like i make a lot of jokes about procrastinating and wasting my time and doing the least and whatever but in reality its really fucking difficult for me even when im medicated!!! but i dont like admitting that bc of all my exhausting childhood baggage and shit but that is not the point of this rant so anyway

this semester i made a specific effort to try and be a better student even tho all of this stuff has been exacerbated by grad school. i felt i owed it to my director and one of my committee members because theyve been so fucking helpful and put their faith in me and took a lot of their time to help me. i wanted to show them i was worthy of it and capable of being a good student who does all the shit she’s supposed to do, does it well, and does it on time. i overloaded my fall semester and nearly lost my goddamn mind JUST to have a lighter class load this semester so i could focus most of my time on my thesis (like for real that was actually incredibly stupid of me. i lost almost 30 pounds from september to december without conscious effort just because i was so fucking stressed. not a brag and actually kind of concerning bc that has LITERALLY never happened to me). it has been like....significantly taxing, but i wanted to show them how much i appreciate their time and effort and help by being responsible and respectful. my Trying Hard is a lot of people’s Barely Doing Their Best and i know that. turning something in 2 hours early is below average for some but for me, literally anything more than 30 minutes before its due is an actual goddamn miracle. but i wanted to work hard and do things right for my committee members because they deserve it

this christmas my parents asked what i wanted and the ONLY thing i asked for was help with my library dues. last year from like march to october i was significantly depressed and entirely out of my head, and i racked up some pretty bad overdue fees. i didnt even ask them to pay all of it, just some of it. less than $100. im really truly grateful for the gifts they DID get me, but i didnt ask for them for any of it, and my overdue fees were left alone. i was under the impression that they got paid and, like a fucking idiot, i didnt check up on it to confirm. ive been so hell deep in my thesis and teaching and grading and applying to phd programs and looking for apartments and shit that it really just slipped my fucking mind!!! crazy!!!!

today i was in crisis bc i thought i fucked up with scheduling my defense/exam/whatever the fuck. im going to call it defense and i dont give a shit bc everyone calls it some other shit and i dont CARE. anyway i really thought i fucked up but i went and talked it out with my director and it was all sorted out. i’ve gotten like 50% of her feedback on my thesis draft, which i’ve incorporated, and im waiting on comments from another reader (the other helpful person on my committee). we have to run some dumbass software before scheduling, so i ran it today and tried to schedule it but couldnt bc theres a hold on my account. i went on a fucking....ALMIGHTY QUEST to figure it out and i finally discovered that guess what!!!!!!! its my GODDAMN LIBRARY OVERDUE FEES!!!!!! THAT I THOUGHT WERE PAID!!!!!!! i had to pay them myself which is fine idc but it takes several days to process. this fucks up my life on SEVERAL levels

for one, its fucking impossible to get a hold of my third committee member. she is a vapor in the wind. shes like super busy and thats all good and well but the point is theres like zero communication there. i finally got confirmation on a defense date from all 3 members and had been literally planning MY ENTIRE LIFE around this date. after todays first scheduling crisis i was so happy i was still on track, but now this? now i have to wait 3-4 days before i can even SCHEDULE the defense. the super delightful part is that we have to schedule a minimum of 2 weeks in advance. so now i cant schedule my defense until tuesday at the absolute earliest, but that ALSO bumps my defense date several days ahead. i have no fucking clue if my committee is going to agree on another day that works for everyone bc theyre all busy as shit and we’d been working toward the original date for weeks if not months, and im so fucking upset because this is exactly what i DIDNT want to have happen. i havent tried to email them yet because im hoping beyond fucking hope i can call somebody at the university tomorrow and see if the hold is something else besides the fee, but it makes me sick to think of having to be like “oh sorry i know i constantly fuck up everything ever and im a piece of shit but can we change this date we’ve had set since january because i was an extra shitty piece of shit this time??” like OHHH MY GODDDDD

and the thing thats really fucking with me is that like, yes its my fault but this one time its not ENTIRELY 100% my fault. i asked for a favor and had the understanding that it was taken care of. yes the fees were my doing and yes i shouldve checked but oh my fucking god. i feel like all the effort ive put into being a better student this semester has been for fucking nothing because im going to have to email my committee asking for a different date and ruin all their fucking lives and theyll be so disappointed in me. i have like legitimately been crying on and off about it since like 4:30 today

it so shitty in and of itself but i especially dont want to do this to my director bc she is legitimately the reason im finishing this program AND that im going to a phd program. a year ago i’d barely spoken 20 words to her but she still agreed to be a reader on my committee just because she heard me explain my thesis for all of 30 seconds and decided to give it a try. she literally had not read a song of ice and fire at the time and she started reading them for me to help me with my thesis. in the fall when my original director basically threatened to leave my committee if i didnt change all my ideas, my current director stepped in and helped me and talked me through it and then offered to take her place even though my research is BARELY distantly related to hers. through all of this she’s been so insanely patient with me, super encouraging of my ideas both in this project and in others, helped me decide whether it was right for me to get my phd immediately after my masters, proofed and edited and helped me with ALL my phd application materials, and STILL is in the process of reading these goddamn books just to be a better director. i have lost my head so many times and shes always been there to help me figure my shit out, and i wanted to have it figured out for once. how stupid of me

like bumping the date isnt the end of the whole world but its really not just about the fact that i have to reschedule. i was trying real goddamn hard to be a better student this semester and i REALLY fucking owed it to my director and other reader, but especially director, and i still managed to fuck up this bad. i feel like such a DISAPPOINTMENT and it just will not leave my brain bc im so mad at myself. i tried watching shows and youtube compilations about game of thrones and shit but now my bf is asleep and im alone and its all i can think about. im so fucking tired of being the person i am honestly and i dont mean that in an edgy way its just like jesus christ i wish there was less shit wrong with me. i wish i had any kind of willpower or discipline so i couldve learned these skills and been a better student from the start. i wish i wasnt a giant piece of shit!!!!! 

and now im going to be up late being anxious about all this which means that i will, once again, wake up late but also still be really exhausted, which means i’ll do a shitty job teaching and get overwhelmed by everything and who the fuck knows what fun bullshittery will ensue because of it. i am so fucking tired of me and my fuckery and the fact that it fucks with other people even why i try so hard for it not to. tired!!!!!!!! fucking tired

[tumblunni]

Oh god this article is so long and just keeps getting scarier what the fuck They RELEASED THE SECOND ATTEMPTED MURDERER WHO WASNT SCHIZOPHRENIC?? We like.. don’t even have any details on her cos she only got three years and is long gone?? SHE LITERALLY GOT RELEASED ON THE INSANITY DEFENSE DESPITE HAVING NO MENTAL ILLNESS The court painted the schizophrenic girl as the ringleader because of her schizophrenia and gave the neurotypical girl an ‘insane by proxy’ not guilty verdict cos oooo she must have just been manupulated by the scary mentally ill girl who THE COURT DECIDED WAS NOT MENTALLY ILL, WHILE RELEASING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE GROUNDS THAT SHE WAS MANIPULATED BY A MENTALLY ILL GIRL. How does the second verdict not void the first one??? And then she just got.. REPEATEDLY diagnosed with schizophrenia by SO MANY people and just kept getting sent to worse and worse adult prisons and denied parole??? she almost got raped by her roommate and she wasnt even coherant enough to explain what was happening to her parents, like fuck it was SO CLOSE! and the rapist also got off scot free and also got released because this girl who WASNT ABLE TO READ OR WRITE OR RECOGNISE HER PARENTS’S FACES ANYMORE was deemed to be capable of making up a complex story about sexual acts that she wouldnt have been able to understand even if she was a normal kid of that age... oh fucking GOD... and on top of everything else they wouldnt let her have her GLASSES in prison?? this girl who was hallucinating got treatment that limited her vision?? HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO.. GOD.. CHRIST... NO WONDER SHE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF! and oh goddddd it says that she got to see a psychologist once FINALLY after all these years for just ONE WEEKEND before the courts dragged her back out of there and locked her up in the same prison she finally got medication and it says that in her one therapy session they explained to her what she did and she was finally able to understand it and she hated herself and then she was thrown back into her hallucinations with no help ever again fuck fuck fuck FUCK

oh fucking god thank you oh fuck it does end with saying she’s in a hospital now oh fuck oh god i was expecting this to end on just that note and for me to scream eternally at how the artcle has no information on how to donate to this family dear GOD she’s at a hospital oh fucking god but the trauma of all those years has still left her shattered and her progress is slow, apparantly :( god i wish i heard about this earlier and i could have donated to the family oh god imagine if she’d been able to get this treatment earlier oh god oh god and her mother is finally able to see her oh fuck thank god fuck it talks about her mother rushing against the traffic to not even be one minute late, always arriving early and having to sit shakily in the waiting room and then how neither of them even know what to say during these half-hour visits but the kid still freaks out so much seeing the clock tick down and just wants to sit there with her mum and hold hands in silence forever she just wants to get in the car and drive home and sleep in her own bed for the first time in so many years fuckkkkkkkk

“I can’t rescue who I want to rescue,” she acknowledged quietly. “So a kitten will have to do for now.” FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK fuckkkk she saw a starving feral kitten on the drive to visit her daughter and ran around trying to find it again and take it to the vet just so she’d have one happy thing to tell her daughter FUCKKKKING HELLLLL

“ As we spoke that day, Angie spotted the kitten she’d come to save and cornered it. But then an adult cat emerged from the shadows and stepped protectively between them. The relationship between the two felines was clear. So, Angie returned to her car empty-handed. Sick or not, she thought, the kitten belonged with its mother. “ fuck you didnt have to end this article on some cheesy note like that, why the fuck are you doing this to me did that even actually happen or are you just trying to use journalistic metaphors to desperately make people sympathise with this poor child? cos seriously WHAT THE FUCK it is so disgusting that nobody has been giving her the barest shred of human rights, do we really have to resort to fucking kitten stories because nobody actually cares about a severely mentally ill child who has barely seen sunlight for three years due to a FUCKING LAW THAT TREATS TEN YEAR OLDS AS ADULTS

god i think im gonna puke why did i read this why is there no way i can help, oh goddd all the news every day is just more human rights atrocities i cant help with and i’m so scared im gonna either become desensitized or turn it all into wah wah what about me, feel sad for ME, wah wah i fucking feel like killing myself because i watched the news FUCKING. SHUT. UP. HEAD. thats not gonna solve anything thats not gonna make anything better oh goddd im really fucking lightheaded goddd why did i read this but i’d be a monster if i stuck my head in the sand and ignored horrible news cos i care more about myself than other people But GAHHH why cant I HELP?? i cant help either way??? where the fuck is the justice aaaarrgh all i can do is cry about these people so i feel like i have to do it, even if it doesnt help, even if it just makes me want to die god can i like.. rebalance the amount of sympathy in the world. can i somehow make the people who actually can help actually help by weeping all over my keyboard in a terrible fucking january fuck what the fuck goodness do i give back to the world, im just sitting here taking and taking and sponging off mental health government and making the world worse and FUCK how the fuck can i even say that while i’m crying ABOUT mentally ill people deserving treatment?? bunni’s shit brain: no u are the only one who doesnt deserve it in the world, somehow fuck i ‘m gonna go try and calm down fuckkkk so umm yeah warning dont read that article while you’re in a vunerable mental state but its really important to read cos like.. all i can do at least is be aware of the atrocities in the world and keep my eyes open for someday somehow where i can help.. i guess... god i think my life would actually be worth something if i could help someone else god i just want to die fuck fuck fuckkkk...

[volchistamoved-blog]

i just want to thank you all SO MUCH ! i only remade maryas blog around a month ago and already there are over 100 of you here !!! it never ceases to warm my heart how much endless love and devotion i receive here on maryas blog. i have never felt so welcome and loved on a blog before. i love each and every one of you, you are all gifts, thank you, again. 

THESE ARE ALL PEOPLE, i look up to, i admire endlessly and my dash would not be the same without you guys. 

@bloodythirsts / / @mothics / / @godleir / / @deathrisen / / @veracitic / / @variforme / / @saviourse / / @sansavis / / @chaosate / / @chaied / / @nexusbeing / / @wiccks / / @warblossomed / / @astralord / / @tsarsmerti​ / / @vasilyevna / / @wrths / / @quinn​ / / @manwithout​ / / @imperises / /

THE GROSS PART, because im me, and such an emotional person i have to make some special lengthy mentions about those who have earned such a special place inside my heart.

@inheriteds * / / jannah, i tell you this all the time but you are such a gift. you are one of the strongest people i have ever known? and god am i so happy to have met you. i have always, ALWAYS admired you, no matter your blog and i was so amazed you wanted to be friends with me, and write with me. you are so endlessly sweet to me literally every single time we speak. you have a special way of making me laugh and smile like an idiot. your talent is astounding/?? i know im gonna say this about most of my favs but i mean it truly every time i say it. your writing is breath taking and something so unique to you alone. i just love you so very much. you’re an amazing and beautiful person, thank you for existing.

@koschie * / / listen, the love of my life right here? the koschei of my heart? you never ever cease to take my breath away? you are one of m y favorite people to exist in this world. you are so GOOD, you are such an amazing and beautiful soul, you’re such a strong person and you have such a relentlessly good heart. and i am so proud of you?? in every sense of the word. i will never not be proud of you? and GODDDDD, i could go on for years about your writing, your writing is some of the most beautiful and unique i have seen??? im left aghast every time i read something you write and you inspire me ENDLESSLY with everything you do. you are such a perfect koschei and really just perfect no matter who you write. 

@lionswrath * / / listen i know we havent gotten to speak much in recent times but my goD LIGHT OF MY LIFE. you are such a wonderful human being??? i have been beyond impressed with your blog, with your absolute love and perfect representation of cersei??? i love??? just how much you love her and how you will never romanticize the bad things about her, how you just recognize her for all that she is?? bc thats so important okay. not to mention everything you touch turns to gold?? your graphics and themes are so beautiful and your writing is so lovely an d perfect. youre just a perfect person.

@justonekid * / / LISTEN TO ME ANNIE. i know we only very recently met and became friends but i am so glad that we did?? you’re such a gift to this world. you’re such a wonderful person?? you’re so funny, you always make me smile and laugh and your love for aang is literally the greatest? you bring so much life to his character, so so much, you have made me love him in a way that i didnt know i could? you’re such an endlessly creative and beautiful person. i love you okay.

@highnis * / / TWIGGY, my love, you have always been so endlessly kind and supportive of me since we first met? you have the kindest heart and you’re just a beautiful person over all??? you’re an angel, a true goddess. you never cease to amaze me in everything you do and i would lay my life on the line for you??? you always make me feel so great about myself and i just adore you??

@viduamor * / / listen i know we literally just became friends since i re made maryas blog but i ADORE YOU. i have always, ALWAYS, admired your blog from afar and i never thought we could become friends but here we are?? and i am s hook? every time you compliment me a piece of me dies.bUT ANWAYS. i love love your passion for nat?? its so admirable and i love how willing you are to take her character so above and beyond what her canon is>?? to make her something so much more ???? your nat is a piece of art tbh.

@prodigicals & @bleusilk * / / listen, you are one of the kindest people i have ever had the pleasure of meeting??? you have the biggest heart and you have such a warm and inviting presence about you and i think it is so beautiful?? you are so insanely talented in every conceivable way its breath taking. you are a gift to this world and i adore you beyond words. 

@sunbruise * / / aiden, my love, my darling, much like many people on this list that i have gushed about you are someone i admired from afar for as long as i could remember, someone i had always wanted to interact with but neve r got to. and then you followed me back onmaryas blog and we started talking and wow you’re a wonderful person>??? you are so kind and inviting and you’re so creative??? ken is such a beautiful and amazing character and i will literally always love him. you put so much obvious work into creating him and im just??? its so cLEAR. 

@patriotborne * / / dairy, dairy, dairy. you and i may not have been friends for long but i just/?? you deserved a place here. you are such a wonderful and kind soul? you brought the big atla group togeether and ive never felt more accepted somewhere?? you just have the biggest heart and you are such a positive force??? its amazing. you are so beyond talented and i love every single thing you ever touch??? i just love you so very much okay.

@glacialborne * / / sEB. SEBBBB. ur among my newer friends but i love you??? i was so blown away your writing?? like i never thought youd wanna write with me?? but you turned out to be such a sweet little bean ! you are so kind and you’re always so down for plotting and talking with me and you pour your whole heart into every character you write. you’re just such a great person??? i admire you so much, you’re amazing.

@ensavaged * / / i know??? we arent ultra close or anything like that but you deserve a place here? you are one of the most creative people ive had the pleasure of knowing. the amount of work and depth you put into adelyn is amazing, it is so admirable, i literally aspire to make my ocs as wonderful as you made adelyn. you’re just??? such a great presence to have around?? im still amazed that i can call you my friend and my writing partner?? bc i admired you from afar for so long! and i just never thought you would wanna write with me. you’re iconic, a vision of beauty and perfection. never forget that. 

@heavenbuilt * / / HANNAAHHH, my darling dearest. i fucking love you??? you are my heart, my love. you are someone ilove so much??? im so happy we became friends??? you are perfection ! your writing is always getting better every time i read it and you seriously amaze me with your skill literally all the time. you’re such a funny and all around great person?? i live for your messages in our group chat and i just love talking to you??? you are so wonderful im at a loss for words. i love you okay. 

[blackhyena]

I was tagged to answer 18 questions about music by rory @and-so-are-you my sweet otherworldly alien prince whomst i love, he falsely claims that my music taste is better than his and is about to learn the hard way how wrong he is

1. Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by? probably still muse......cringe......i have some of the big vinyls as well including the knights of cydonia one with the horse which gemma got for me and im ngl its pretty fucking rad still

2. What was the last song you listened to? the smiths - panic . listen im from manchester im contractually obliged to listen to morrissey even though i hate him

3. What’s in your CD/Record player right now? i..... do not currently own an actual cd player other than my laptop but uhhh the nearest cd to me physically is chaleur humaine by christine and the queens!

4. What was the last show you attended? goddddd last summer when i saw Florence and the Machine at BST with Kristi and like. transcended

5. What was the greatest show you’ve been to? this is an, evil question to ask ., i mean possibly florence again because we got so close to the front. that said tlsp last year were also fucking amazing

6. What was the worst show you’ve ever been to? it wasn’t a bad show by her, but when i saw lana del rey the venue was so small and the fans so insane that i was just getting smothered and it was kind of horrible. also someone stood on my foot and i lost feeling in it for a few months lmao

7. What is the most musically involved you have ever been? i play the guitar and i sing!!! not to toot me own horn but i have a grade 8 in singing and ive been in lots of choirs etc. i also write my own music and i have a soundcloud which you could be forgiven for not knowing about cause i update like once a year at my current rate lmao

8. What show are you looking forward to? i don’t have any lined up!!! sad times :-( but i really wanna see marina and the diamonds, wolf alice, grimes... a lot tbh

9. What is your favorite band shirt? i only have a load of old muse ones, but i gotta admit i have a limited edition one from their origin of symmetry show at leeds and i still wear it around the house all of the time

10. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day? FLORENCE WELCH TAKE ME SHOPPING AND TAKE ME TO BOOKSTORES AND THEN JUST MARRY ME MAYBE

11. Who is one musician or group you wish would make a comeback? ....gotta steal rory’s idea for the bowie resurrection prayer circle

12. Who is one band/ artist you’ve never seen live but always wanted to? oh shit i kind of already answered this but i guess il throw in some more. susanne sundfor, st vincent, christine and the queens, postmodern jukebox!!

13. Flawless albums? how big how blue how beautiful because it was super important for my mental health at the time, also the bride by bat for lashes for similar reasons. plus BHAR yes even after all this time. i could sit here and talk about albums all day though

14. How many concerts have you been to, total? I can count 15 but it might be more??

15. Who have you seen the most live? M*se

16. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? I find myself listening to the soundtrack of Bram Stoker’s Dracula more than I care to admit

17. What was your last musical ‘phase’ before you wisened up? i have not wisened up i will remain in this state of musical stupidity forever

18. What is your ‘guilty pleasure’ that you hate to admit liking? im not even really that guilty about it but i fucking love ABBA if you want something cheesy

i tag @renfield, @iwillslapyouintheteeth, @haroldwrens, @aethelrad goooooooooooo