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#fuck im sorry im talking too much im sorry
highvern · 2 days
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Talk
Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader
Genre: angst, fluff, smut
warnings:  oral sex/face sitting/69, prone bone, dom/sub dynamics (dom!reader/sub!hoshi),  protected sex, impact play (spanking), mentions of butt stuff but nothing explicit
Length: ~ 4.3k
Note: this ended up way longer than i originally planned... by like 2k but im weak for sub hoshi. realized i accidentally made them schmidt and cece from new girl.... oh well. as always thank u @gyuswhore for suffering my horrible punctuation and EVERYONE HAS TO READ HER UP COMING HOSHI FIC FOR PIRATE HOSHI I DEMAND IT
series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f]
m.list
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
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Soonyoung talks. A lot. 
Sometimes it makes no sense. Like the occasions he calls you after a night out and slurs his words through the speaker as you hum agreement to who knows what until he passes out while still on the line, letting you hear every snore and smack of his lips until you hang up; or when he’s inside you and it's all a bit too much that he has to tell you how good it feels in excruciating detail; or when you both wake up in the morning, you late for work and him trying to talk you into keeping the sheets warm for just a few more minutes, and Soonyoung thinks he’s convinced you but fifteen more minutes really won’t hurt because his apartment is closer to your office anyway.
He talks so much that not hearing his voice the second he opens the door is like a slap in the face.
There's no invitation inside, or lukewarm greeting. The door hangs ajar, Soonyoung already back down the hall in the direction of his room with the expectation you’ll follow. 
You do, but with the same hesitancy you’d approach a wild animal: curious and on edge.
Despite the hour, his roommates aren’t anywhere to be seen. No bodies sprawled across the couch or light under their doors. Their presence never stopped you before but it’s unsettling that there's no buffer of anything to break the storm cloud choking the atmosphere. Just stark exposure to whatever is clearly bothering Soonyoung that he won’t tell you about because, technically, you two don’t do that. Or, he does and you vehemently refuse all of it with less and less authenticity each time.
Soonyoung doesn’t prattle on about his day or ask about yours as you trail behind him. He throws off his shirt without a word, collapses on the edge of the mattress, and roughly pulls you into his lap. It’s cold and unfeeling and exactly the kind of sex you’d enthusiastically participate in a year ago. But nothing like the Soonyoung you’ve grown familiar with over the past few months.
He doesn’t comment on the low cut of your top, falling into the motions without the usual banter. 
You wiggle free from his grasp, trying to meet his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He doesn’t look at you before taking back up where he left off.
“Stop.” You push him back, trying to get a look at his face but he stays in the crook of your neck. “Stop.”
The silence that follows is loud. He collapses back into the bed, arms curling up to hide away from whatever is chasing him.
“I said I’m fine,” he mumbles.
“Could've fooled me,” you huff.
“Doesn’t matter. Not what you come here for anyway, right?”
A half truth that stings more than you’d like. It sinks in your gut in the quiet dark of his room.
“You know what? Forget I asked, I’m leaving.”
“Wait,” he says, arms attempting to snake around your waist but you’re already up.
“No. You don’t need to be an asshole when I’m just trying to be nice.”
“Because you’re sunshine and rainbows all the time?”
“Did I fucking say I was? If you’ve got a problem with it you’ve had long enough to lose my number.”
“I’m sorry, I just…” he sighs heavily. “Bad day.”
You soften at the break in his voice. Stepping back over, you stand between his legs. He looks small, hunched over with his head in his hands and the weight of the world on his shoulders. The light you’ve come to associate with having him within reach is gone and all that's left is a man you don’t really recognize. He buries his face in the warmth of your stomach, and goes limp as you run a hand across his shoulders.
“Do—” you clear your throat. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Because if Soonyoung is talking there's less chances for you to open your mouth and screw it all up. You don’t know how to be doughy and tender with the same level of ease he possesses. You’ll probably fail trying but it's the least you can do.
It’s uncharted territory; for you, for this, whatever this is because it doesn’t really resemble anything you’ve done before even though the foundation is the same. Because you care about Soonyoung, and he obviously cares about you. But you’re not sure how to let him and even less sure how to return it.
“No.” 
“Okay,” you say, at a loss for what comes next.
Inactivity breeds restlessness. Without any idea how to do this on your own, you default to the steps he took when you were half cooked on your bathroom floor.
Soonyoung eyes you with questions but doesn’t speak as you drag him into the en suite. Bites his tongue as you work off your clothes under the sterile overhead light and then move to work on his; raising his arms when you poke him and managing his pants on his own. He even smiles, or his mouth twitches in a vague allusion to a grin, when you flick water at him after guaranteeing the temperature won’t give you both pneumonia.
Finally tucked behind the shower curtain, he stands dumbly. Not another move to help, content to watch you wash his hair, nails raking over his scalp until he shivers. 
You ignore the prod at your thigh. Focused on letting the warmth of the water do the heavy lifting, you soak a washcloth in soap and lather his skin until it tinges pink. A shampoo mohawk earns a kiss dusted along your shoulders and you might even blush a bit if you weren’t so focused on perfecting the spikes so he looks like one of those 90s alternative poster boys.
Out of the shower, his vow of silence continues. Everything he isn’t saying is clear in his eyes, especially when you slather his face in one of those mud masks, painting him bright green. He’s less intimidating with chunks of clay in his eyebrows.
He isn’t accommodating but he also doesn’t outright refuse which seems to be the best you’re going to get. 
“You look like Shrek,” you snort, satisfied and turning towards the mirror to cover your own face in a matching shade.  
“Well then you're Fiona.” His head comes over your shoulder, chin digging into bare skin to watch you in the mirror. His chest is sticky against your back from steam but you don’t mind if it means he’ll talk to you.
“Actually,” you think, wiggling to face him. “I think you’re more like Donkey.” 
“The dragon fits you better anyway.”
“Are you calling me scary?” you gasp.
“Yes.”
“Good. Remember that next time you want me to suck on your balls.”
He winces. “I can feel them retreating into my body already.”
“Don’t make me laugh, it’ll mess up the mask.”
Without a care for the still drying mess of his face, he takes refuge back in his favorite place. Tucked under your chin, he sighs.
“I’m sorry I was a dick earlier. Work sucked today. I didn’t get a contract I wanted, they picked some other kid at the studio for it. I’ve taught him for years and they picked him over me.”
“I’m sorry.” You placate him with a gentle hand up his back, nails tracing loose patterns as the fan hums over head.
“Not your fault.”
“No, but it still sucks.”
“Yeah.” He nuzzles closer, arms heavy around your waist like you’d even think to move away. “It’ll be fine though. He’s a good kid and I couldn’t be mad at him. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
Fifteen minutes later, you both wash away the flakes of clay, cracked around the corners of your eyes and mouths, and retreat back under the covers in one set of pajamas split between: you in one of his shirts with nothing underneath, and him in sweatpants with nothing on top. 
Soonyoung insists that Pirates of the Caribbean is his comfort movie, something about Kiera Knightly with a gun being his sexual awakening (which explains a lot), and you let him put it on the tiny screen of his laptop with plans to fall asleep in the first five minutes.
His lips are at your temple, a dull pressure that makes your blood hum. “I always wanted to be a pirate growing up.”
“Really?” you ask, edging towards unconsciousness from the lazy drag of his fingers on your hip.
“Yeah,” he agrees, eyes glued to the screen. “Have my own ship, no rules, a bunch of sexy wenches.”
“Half naked women with scurvy were a part of your career plan?”
“Okay, maybe I added those just now but my point stands.”
The picture of Soonyoung with a scar on his chest and one of those ruffled linen shirts straight off the cover of a dime novel some grandma would read on the train with no shame isn’t that bad. Actually, it’s pretty sexy. But you won’t feed his delusions.
“What point?”
He rolls on top of you, face open with grave seriousness. “We should role play. Me as the hot pirate captain, you as the beautiful princess. Forbidden love, enemies type stuff. You run away from being royal and end up joining my crew. Oh no, Captain Hoshi, I had no idea this was your room! What an impressive sword!” he squeals in a breathy mock of you.
“And then,” you gasp. “you come in five minutes and I convince everyone to throw you overboard?”
“Hurtful. But I’m willing to forgive you if you call me captain. Just once.”
He’s close enough to kiss, lips pouted as he waits for you to give into his demand. A gentle peck bordering on domestic makes him sigh, the taste of toothpaste lingering on his breath. Just as you think you’ve distracted him away from such an ridiculous idea, he leans back with a gleam in his eye that says he’ll wait all night if you make him.
“How about we roleplay falling asleep?” you sigh, eyes closed against his expectant gaze.
“Nope, too late. I’m thinking about you wearing nothing but a pirate hat and now I’m hard.”
He curls right into the meat of your thigh, hot and ready to go if you give the word. Sleep is tempting but the thought of a quick tumble wakes you up enough to entertain him. 
“Alright, but you’re doing all the work,” you sigh. “Take off my clothes, captain.”
Pausing to let the idea settle, he shakes his head. “That’s actually not as hot as I thought it would be.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you fuff. “I’m watching the movie.”
You try to shove him away with zero intent to actually let him go anywhere and end up pinned, fingers in a tight grip around your wrists that you pretend to fight against. Soonyoung knows you like to be reminded of his strength on occasion; whether thats fucking your mouth until your throat burns or bending you over. This potentially being one since he’s had a hard day and you’re hungover from making him feel better about it. 
He tongues across your pulse until you go pliant against the pillows, legs spread to cradle his hips. A shuffle of clothes and a lift of your hips and he’d be inside you. There's more steps; a condom, a little fingering because his dick was made to stretch your limits. Your legs shake already, desperate for quick fuck so you can passout while Soonyoung cleans you up. 
But his new mood means he’s making up for lost time. Presently, that's bunching your shirt up to your chin and tracing each inch of newly uncovered skin with his tongue.
“Hellooooo ladies,” he sighs, nose buried between your breasts.
“God, you’re lame.”
“Be nice to me, I had a hard day,” he pouts, releasing your hands in favor of plucking at your chest until you sigh in delight.
“I’m literally letting you—hmmm— see my boobs after you said that corny shit. How much nicer can I be?”
He doesn’t answer, choosing to coax a low groan out of your chest with passes of his mouth until you're kicking the sheets. The good kind of sting that ruts your hips against his thigh and makes you dizzy. There will be a permanent wet patch if he doesn’t give you relief soon.
“I have a few ideas.”
“Like what?” You twitch at the thoughts running rampant. Short of donning that pirate hat mentioned earlier, anything he suggests is guaranteed to make you feel better too. 
“Can show you better than I can tell you,” he bites into your nipple, sucking it to a stiff peak for his fingers to pinch before shifting focus to the other. 
“If you try and put your dick in my ass I’ll rip it off.” The words are breathy off your lips. No real threat because he might be able to talk you into the idea if you let him. If he keeps pulling your strings the way he’s learned how. 
But Soonyoung has different ideas, pulling off your nipple with a rough suck, curling your shoulders in. “That was one time and it was an accident!”
“Let me slip a finger in next time I blow you and tell me how you like it.”
“You have and I do. Keep talking about it and I’m gonna need another shower.”
“God, you’re a freak.” 
“Yeah, yeah.” He takes the initiative to roll you on top, palms massaging your ass while enjoying the view of you naked in his lap. 
A sudden moment of vulnerability roots in your chest, warmed by the set of brown eyes peering up at you. “You know I don’t just come here for this, right?” 
Soonyoung’s eyebrows twist for a moment and then soften. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“It’s fine,” you cut him off, not ready for anything deeper. The air is already thicker with the weight of that confession, suffocating. In an effort not to drown in it, you drop your chest flat to his, latching onto the jut of his collarbone. “Is this your big idea? Me on top? Not very original.”
A hand at your ass drags you along his covered cock, already begging for attention. It’s not original but you’ll dry hump him into the mattress until your bones are jelly if he wants. 
“Sit on my face.”
It’s your turn to pull back. “What?”
“Sit. On. My. Face.” His hand is already firm against your thighs, forcing you halfway up his chest before you can argue.
“I heard you the first time, just confused how that's supposed to make you feel better.”
“You underestimate the power of your pussy. Now get up here.” 
The shuffle up is less than sexy. Soonyoung is eager from your permission, rushing you up to his mouth until you nearly knee him in the head.
“Wait,” you say. 
Soonyoung locks his arms as you move off him, reflexive because he lets go a second later. Turning, you eye the tent in his pants as you kneel back down. Perfect position to touch him while he touches you.
“Oh, fuck,” he grunts, fingers tracing through your wetness despite the horrible angle.
You don’t get a chance to orient yourself. He’s already quick to work with teasing passes of his tongue that turn bolder every second. 
“Jesus Christ, give me a second to get your dick out.”
But he doesn’t; too consumed with tasting all you have to offer, wringing you out to dry the second he gets a chance. The flat of his tongue laps up your arousal like it’s more vital than oxygen. There's a wet mess smeared between your thighs from the vigor. 
It takes all your focus to force down his pants, mouth watering at the shiny head of his cock straining from some heavy petting. You keep steady with one hand, jerking him off into your mouth with the other. Soonyoung malfunctions between your thighs as you swallow his cock, a moan right to your clit makes you fumble that last inch into your mouth.
He chokes you with a buck up but you take it in stride. Sucking harder, lashing against the slit until he whimpers. Normally, you’d exaggerate the wet noises at the back of your throat but with the crude dig of his tongue in your entrance there's no need. 
“God,” you warble into his crotch. You arch back into his face, Soonyoung’s fingers digging into the meat of your ass, spreading you out like a full course meal.
In theory it’s hot. Your cunt on his face and his cock in your throat, rutting against each other until you're numb and twitching and covered in each other's mess. In practicality, there is nothing Soonyoung is more relentlessly dedicated to than eating you out until your vision turns white and you have to force him away or risk passing out. It only takes a few minutes before you’re forced to tap out, panting into his thigh and weakly fisting his length with no regard for the mess sticking between your knuckles, as he fucks you along his tongue.
“Gonna come, oh–fuck,” you choke. You want him to come too, in your mouth, on your face if that's what he wants. But by some glitch in the universe, Soonyoung is able to hold back and you’re the one racing to the finish first. “Oh my god, Soonyoung, fuck.”
You jerk him off, grip tight despite the slick mess of spit and pre-cum. It doesn’t help that ever squeeze at the swollen head sends a moan straight into your clit, forcing you hips to rut desperately. 
“Don’t stop. Just, shit – need a little more—”
You pull one his hands away to take over your short strokes, spitting into his palm and squeezing until he figures out what you want; to watch him touch himself while eating you out. The contrast of his fingers tangled between your own, both glistening because Soonyoung is just as close as you are, gets you there.
“Close.” Thighs locked, you suffocate him but Soonyoung doesn’t complain. A palm at the base of your spine forces you down when you shy away from the edge. “Oh, oh, oh!”
A sting of your nails into his thigh is all the warning either of you get. Back arched tight, eyes clenched, you shudder through it. Soonyoung doesn’t stop, sucking away the fresh wave of arousal, tongue verging on punishing against your clit as you sink.
“Okay, that's enough—god,” your voice breaks. “Enough.”
You fall to the side, face first into the covers without effort to soften the blow. The lower half of your body is numb but you can feel his hand skating up the back of your calf.
“Good?” he asks, all too aware of the issue; the smirk is clear in his tone, happy to see you strung out from a few minutes on his mouth.
“Shut up,” you warn but the bite isn’t in it. The urge to kick him in the head is there but none of the energy. 
“Are you tapping out on me or…?” 
The sound of the drawer pauses in case you say no but the idea of not feeling him inside you sounds like the worst thing you’ve ever heard.
“You’re not that good,” you mumble into the blanket. “Fuck me like this, you promised you’d do all the work. Remember?”
“Like this?” he hums, rubbing the head of his cock back through the mess with admiration. 
He obeys with a wet kiss to your shoulder, parting your legs and sliding between without a word. You soak in the stretch, ass arched into his hips to take it all. The cold bites down your back when Soonyoung leans back to watch.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he whines. “Shit.” 
He drives into you with a bruising pace, betrayed by his own need to come after having you on his mouth without a tease of relief. You arch into it, the head of his cock dragging deep inside pushing disgusting noises from your lips you pray his roommates aren’t around to hear.
“Spank me.”
He loses it for a second. A rough thrust pushing you down the bed and he scrambles to follow. “Seriously?” 
“Do it,” you bark. 
The first strike is weak. More of a firm caress than the sting you crave; hesitant to push for too much too fast lest you take away any privilege he has.
“Harder.”
The next impact comes hard enough to burn an outline of his hand. And another one that makes your tongue feel too big for your own mouth.
“Oh, fuck, yeah,” you whine. “More.”
Arms pinned beneath your torso, all you can do is lay there and take it. Nerves gone, he spanks you like it’s second nature. Like he’s thought about it before.
“Good?” he asks. Sounds more like a beg for validation. That he’s the one driving you crazy, molding your insides to his cock until it’s all you can think about.
“So good, f–fuck me so good.”
“Yeah?” he breathes against your neck, a hand wedging beneath your hips to drag against your clit in messy strokes. “You’re so hot, fuck.”
There will be a bruise to hide come morning but you can’t care. The slap of his hips against your ass, the flame of his hand still lingering on your ass, his cock drilling your insides; there's no room for anything but Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung.
You arch your back to feel him deeper only to have him pull out completely on the next stroke.
“No!” you protest, racing to keep him inside. 
It’s no use, Soonyoung flips you on your back before you can convince him otherwise. He hooks your knees over his elbows, spreading you wide and driving home in one smooth push with his teeth at your neck.
“Gonna come,” he begs, voice weak. You know his game, what makes him tick and come so hard he goes blind.
“Not yet,” you warn. A rough twist in his hair only works against his thinning resolve and that's exactly why you pull harder until his hips kick into a jilted rhythm.
“I can’t – please – I can’t—”
“Not yet,” you gasp. He’s deep, right in the back of your throat making you foggy. “Be a g–good boy and wait until I tell you.”
Hips frantic, voice cracking, he tries to hold off; knows it's better when you tell him exactly what to do. Makes him choke into your chest.“Fuck, fuck!” 
“Tell me how bad you want it. How much you love this pussy.”
“Love it, love your pussy.” He folds in half on top of you, desperate. Every drive of his cock into your center forcing your own desperate noises out. “Please let me come for you.”
“Look at me,” you demand. The command in your voice is paper thin but you're both too lost. His eyes are glassy, frantic to do whatever you ask if it means he can come. “Beg for it.”
“P–please,” he whimpers through gritted teeth. “Please let me come. Need it, wanna come. Please. Please!”
He’s too good to edge. Perfectly pliant to any demand and it makes you want to give him whatever he wants. “Give it to me. Fuck me through it. Let me feel you come for me.”
He latches onto your breast, sucking your nipple as his hips turn sloppy. The squeak of mattress springs are a sound track to his end. You won’t come again but you don’t need to. Satiated with the choked whimpers of your name as he swells against your walls, forcing himself as deep as possible like he’s fucking you raw and full of his cum.
Maybe someday you’ll let him.
Your hips are sore from being forced in half so long but you won’t move away until Soonyoung comes back down. Less from your own will power, more because you’re running on fumes and might fall asleep with him still inside you. He gives a few more pathetic twitches and then goes slack.
“Oh my god,” he groans. “I can’t feel my legs.”
“Welcome to the club,” 
With the grand finale complete, your aching muscles give out completely. You can’t even laugh when one of his hands moves to check your pulse.
“Oh my god,” Soonyoung gasps. “I killed you with my dick.”
“You didn’t kill me.” You slap away his hand weakly. Without distraction, the stickiness of your skin from sweat in the worst places settles in but it’s a problem for later.
“A man can dream,” he says wistfully.
“Of homicide by cock?”
“Of dick game strong enough to murder someone.”
He rubs his nose along yours, breathes mingling in a lazy kiss as exhaustion creeps over your both. 
“Your face smells like pussy.” You slouch into the mattress, deadweight while taking all of his like the perfect blanket.
He kisses you again, tongue teasing at your lips until you give the very real threat of teeth against it and he backs away. “Your mouth tastes like cock so I guess we’re even. C'mon we need to shower again.”
“Nooooooo,” you grumble, clinging to him in an effort to delay the chill waiting to invade between you.
“At least let me get a rag.”
Your legs tighten around his waist, locked at the ankle for dramatic effect. “If you pull out I’ll cry.”
“Words every man wants to hear,” he hums into your cheek with a kiss. “But my dick is sore and we both need to sleep.”
“Fine.”
When he pulls away you feel empty; devastatingly so. But you don’t ask him to comeback. Just pout at the loss and revel in placating pampering you receive in return.
He goes through the steps with familiarity. Wiping away the mess between your legs, tossing your shirt back up from the floor but you forgo it, choosing to sleep naked much to Soonyoung’s delight.
You use his chest as a pillow, curled into his side and tucked under his chin. The steady beat of his heart lulls you off. The last thing you register, on the hazy perimeter at the edge of sleep, is his fingers at your cheek and the ghost of a kiss on your forehead.
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Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie
@gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire
@missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @sliceofwoozi @writingbarnes
@dokyeomkyeom @christinewithluv @minwonfairy @idkjustlovingbts @wobblewobble822 @futuristicenemychaos
@seungkw1 @horanghaezone @jespecially @gyuwoosbabie @dinossaurz
@wonustars
© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.
254 notes · View notes
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but daddy i love him
pairing: charles leclerc x australian! reader
summary: where people have things to say about your relationship, or in which it all gets to much for y/n
warning: age gap relationship, slutshaming, angst, death threats
a/n: i have a pt 3 planned don't worry guys
pt 1 is here!!! pt 3 is here!!!
f1 masterlist
main masterlist
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arthurleclerc has posted one story
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caption: best future sister in law
liked by charlesleclerc, yourusername and 24, 386 others
charlesleclerc how is she
arthurleclerc shes fine
charlesleclerc take care of her please
arthurleclerc ofc i will
yourusername HELP whyd you post this one
arthurleclerc cause you low key look weird asf 🤷🏼
arthurleclerc also im legit standing next to you whyd you have to text me
user1 so she got to you
arthurleclerc leave her alone man shes legit done nothing
user2 ew
arthurleclerc how bout you fuck off
yourusername has posted one story
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caption: revenge
liked by charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc and 345, 795 others
charlesleclerc hes gonna kill you
yourusername oh well
charlesleclerc how are you
yourusername fine
arthurleclerc im gonna kill you
arthurleclerc take this down
yourusername no you wont
yourusername you like me to much too
arthurleclerc true
user1 slut
user2 going for the more age appropriate one now
user3 cant just have one can you
yourusername has posted
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liked by charlesleclerc, olivia rodrigo and 3, 278, 217 others
yourusername happy international womens day. celebrating the women closest to me
tagged: lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, carla.brocker, yourmothersusername, pascaleleclerc
francisca.cgomes my fav omg
→ yourusername your literally the bestest friend in the whole world
lilymhe hate that photo tbh
→ yourusername wdym you literally look STUNNING
→ user1 shes so not a girls girl
sabrinacarpenter not stop i miss you
→ yourusername i miss you more girl
oliviarodrigo well hangout when your tour finished trust
→ yourusername ofc i wouldn't have it any other way
carla.brocker thank you for dealing with arthur today omg
→ yourusername lol sure anytime
→ arthurleclerc HEYYY
→ user2 ew shes such a slut
→ arthurleclerc pipe down user2
yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter
→ yourusername love you mummy
yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter
→ yourusername love you mummy
pascaleleclerc couldn't be happier to have you in our family
liked by creator
pascaleleclerc thank you for taking charles off our plates
→ yourusername ofc but you have to take him on saturday hes getting clingy
→ charlesleclerc heyy
→ yourusername sorry mon amor but its true
user3 she saw twitter and had to shut it down real quick
→ user4 no fr tryna act like they acc like her
yourusername has posted
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liked by francisca.cgomes, charlesleclerc and 4, 786, 374 others
yourusername life before i have to go back on tour
tagged: fransisca.cgomes, gomezzzlife
charlesleclerc 🤍
fransisca.cgomes STUNNING
→ yourusername SAYS YOU
user1 acting as if its a chore to be on tour
user2 imagine not liking your fiances comment
→ user3 no fr fr
user4 go die slut
yourusername has posted
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caption: race day
liked by charlesleclerc, francsica.cgomes and 128, 879 others
charlesleclerc you look gorgeous today
yourusername charlie 🤍
francisca.cgomes HOT
user1 ABSOLUETLY NOT
user2 byeee
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yourusername has posted
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liked by sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo and 11, 237, 456 others
yourusername but daddy i love him out now
COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN DISABLED
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INCOMING PHONECALL
charles
my love
whats going on
you
charlie
im sorry
you
i just can't do this anymore
its all too much
charles
what
what are you talking about
you
i can't do us anymore
i love you so much
but everythings to much
their all to much
charles
fuck them
they don't know our relationship
they don't know how much i'm in love with you
please we can figure something out
you
i can't charlie
i'm sorry
i just need space
CALL ENDED
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charlesleclerc has posted one story
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liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and 567, 892 others
COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN LIMITED
__________________________
a/n: part two guys!!! lmk if you want a pt3 becuase i have one planned.
207 notes · View notes
angellurgy · 2 days
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im sorry
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dwaekkicidal · 2 days
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Worship.
˚ʚChangbin x Gn!Readerɞ˚
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: Making love with and worshiping Seo Changbin. No real plot, just reader spoiling Binnie (like he deserves 🔫).
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 2.1k
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: want to say gender neutral but fem!reader just in case, reader is referred to as “Bunny,” a teeny bit angsty; mentions of binnie feeling nervous about his ‘ab’ reveal, oral (m receiving), binnie cries like 1(½) times (im sorry), love making and slow sex (tho the sex itself is super short), creampie (try to pee after sex pls), tiny breeding mention
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ notes: I cant even lie i actually cried multiple times while writing this LMFAOO. 😐 I’m sleep deprived and I get suuuper moody when I am so here we are. anyways.. this was largely inspired by the tummy part i wrote in this, but i got super sappy and was listening to mind numbing, slow love songs while I wrote this so i made it worshiping him in general (i'm not sorry. he deserves all of this and more)
NOT PROOFREAD(ill do it tmrw >.<)
MDNI!! smut below the cut
DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!
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Your knees were so sore, the soft carpet under you was no longer doing its job in cushioning them from your spot on the floor. But, you’re not sure you would complain even if you were able to. The sight above you was one that you would happily fight every god and goddess for just the chance of seeing again. Changbin was leaned against your bedroom door, shirt bunched up tightly in his hand as he held it to his chest. His jaw is slacked and his eyebrows were knitted together harshly. Your jaw ached at this point, but you were here to prove a point.
You had overheard your boyfriend talking to his members about the recent “Ab reveal” comment he made in a recent SKZCode episode. The members had told him many times that he didn’t actually have to go through with it, that nobody would be mad at him if he decided to not do it. You took it upon yourself to talk to him about this, and when you realized that he was very shy about his tummy compared to his confidence about his biceps, you realized you had some work to do.
So, being the good girlfriend you were, you dropped to your knees and promised to prove to him just how sexy all of him was. And that’s how you got here. Now, focusing back on your goal you simply sunk farther onto his dick, humming against his sensitive tip as it hit the back of your throat.
“H-Holy shit… Bunnyy-”
His eyes rolled to the back of his head and the hand in your hair tightened. He hand held you there for a few seconds until you gagged against him, then he finally pulled you off slightly. You could feel his legs start to shake under your palms as you repeated your previous pace, the pleasure was getting too much and you could easily tell how close he was when he whined so prettily. You hastily get back to work and use your hands on his thighs as leverage, bobbing your head forward and backwards with a strong desire to please him.
“Fuck! God, you’re so good to me, Bunny. What did I do to deserve you.” Your eyebrows furrow in a glare up at him before you lightly graze your teeth against his length as punishment, not enough to actually hurt him badly but just enough to remind him what this was all about in the first place. “A-AH! S-Sorry!”
You felt his hips stutter and you take that as the only warning besides his pitching moans, so you pull off so only his tip rests against your tongue and suck. Your hands move to quickly pump the rest of his length, paying extra attention to the sensitive underside, as he rides out his high. The hand in your hair moves to hold a deafening grip on his hip, he’s trying his hardest to not let out a pornographic moan as his hips buck uncontrollably into your mouth. His eyes stayed on the scene in front of him for as long as they could before they slammed shut from how overwhelming it all was.
Once his hips cease their movements, and are instead replaced with little convulses from sensitivity, you pull away and leave a soft kiss to his tip. A shaky laugh is pulled from him in pure disbelief of the intensity of the orgasm you just gave him. He goes to pull you up but you smack his hand away, opting to stay on the floor and litter kisses along his thighs. They trail unbearably slowly; up his thighs to his pelvis before trailing up to his stomach. You stay there for a while, appreciating the area with soft pecks of adoration and nibbles just to tease a little.
It was uncomfortable to crouch at this angle, but you needed your point to be proven. You needed this man to understand just how sexy he was to you. Just how fucking insane he drove you by merely breathing the same air as you. You were obsessed with your Seo Changbin, and honestly who could blame you? He was the hottest man in the universe. Very silly but serious when needed, he treated you like royalty even in front of his friends and family, and he communicated his feelings like you’d never seen before. He was everything a woman could ask of a man, and you felt it was your only goal in life to make sure he knew it.
After getting lost in your thoughts, you return to your endeavor and rise up to his chest. It was still rising up and down from his frantic breaths, but you ignored the chance to tease him over it and instead placed soft kisses to his pecs. You’re moving up again and linger at his neck, nibbling it softly and leaving hickies that you know would unfortunately fade by morning. When you finally reach his face, you hover mere millimeters away and take in his expression. He’s an absolute mess.
His breath still hasn’t returned to him, but this time it was prevented by the overwhelming tenderness being physically given to him. Something he’s never experienced on this level before. You almost feel guilty that you didn’t show him sooner, but before you can think too much into it you pull yourself together. He lets out strangled noises as place kisses on his cheeks, then forehead, and finally his nose. You can only assume the noises are from the lack of your lips on his, but when you pull away to do so you realize you were wrong. You’re met with a heart-rending scene.
His pretty dark eyes are watery, and some tears have already fallen along the cheeks you just pressed your lips to. Your expression must show obvious surprise cause he frowns and more tears fall. His lips part as if he was going to speak up but you hush him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you finally place your lips to his. His hands plant themselves on your hips, he squeezes them a little roughly but you know it's to mentally ground himself so complaining doesn’t even cross your mind.
You two stay like this for some time, lips locked in a slow and passionate make out session, hands holding each other as close as physically possible. You finally pull away after some minutes, resting your forehead against his as you both stare lovingly into each other's eyes. The tears finally stopped falling but his eyes are still very glossy.
Your soft voice finally breaks the silence, as much as you want to continue your efforts, his well being is a million times more important. “You ok Binnie?” He takes a deep breath and chooses to nod instead of speaking up. You giggle and place kisses along his cheek again, giving him time to collect himself and finish catching his breath.
When he finally returns to his normal self he nuzzles himself into your neck and places his own kisses there. “Doing that to me during post nut clarity was so mean, Bunny. I’m gonna get you back for that tomorrow.” You laugh and pull away, bombarding his lips with soft kisses as a silent apology.
When you pull away, he speedingly kicks his pants away and tugs desperately at your shirt, “Why am I the only one naked, Bunny..” You smile and mumble an apology, tearing your clothes off before letting him lead you to the bed. You straddle him the second he lays down and his hands grab at the bottom of your ass cheeks, wanting to lift you so he can swap positions, but before he can do it you push his hands away. He gives you a confused pout as you push him down to lay on the bed, hovering yourself over his dick and leaning forward to press more kisses to his collarbone.
“Mmm.. ‘already told you I wanna spoil you tonight, Binnie. If you let me, I just wanna worship you for a bit..” He bites his lip and nods. “I promise if we do a round two I’ll let you take control. But, for now, let me spoil my God-like boyfriend to make up for all the other chances I missed.” He groans and throws his arms over his head, freeing his hold on you to let you take the reins.
He feels you smile into his skin and it manages to give him butterflies. He quickly gets lost in thought when you bury him in another pile of kisses. At this moment in time he’s finally realizing just how tightly he’s wrapped around your finger. The boys have teased him over it for months but he never fully saw it until now. He fears that if you would ask him to set the world on fire, he wouldn’t hesitate. It’s normally scary to love somebody that much. But as your kisses move between his neck, his pecs, his biceps, and his tummy… All he feels is pride. The man before you realizes in this very moment that he is in so much deeper than he thought he was.
It’s when you’re finally sinking down on him that he distances from thoughts surrounding his newfound awareness. He lets out a quiet moan at the feeling of you wrapped around him, and another at the sight of his beautiful lover sitting so prettily on his dick, biting their lip and looking down at him with such warmth in their eyes.
And you? You’re met with the sight of your beautiful boyfriend, the man you would drop everything in the world to marry and run away with, if he so asked. The man who does everything in his power to make you happy. The man who would, and has, done everything physically possible to keep you safe from the dangers outside of your shared apartment. As you grind down on him, you start to slip into your own thoughts. But the shine of his eyes starting to water again has you immediately stop your movements in worry.
But when the moans from him were replaced with whines and a distressed pout, you couldn’t dare to bring yourself to deny him of what he wants. Your hips start to lift and drop you onto him slowly. The two of you would normally be fucking like rabbits, but after everything that just happened there’s a silent agreement to take it slower tonight.
His hands grip tightly to your hips, helping you in the up and down movements as you lean down to be chest to chest with him. Your eyes lock and stare into one another’s for a few seconds before you fold first, leaning further into him for a kiss. Your movements would have stopped completely if it wasn’t for his hands doing the work now, grinding you against him slowly. The tears in his eyes finally go away just in time for him to watch you pull away, leaning back up to continue towards your goal. Then, just like earlier, you lose yourself in these efforts to please him and love on him. Your hips slap against each other in a slower rhythm that still gets the job done.
When he feels you clenching harder and notices your hips moving more messily, he moves his hands to grab your wrists and starts to thrust his hips up to meet yours. The fingers on both of your hands interlace with both of his, and this is how the two of you finish. Eyes, hands, and bodies locked together. When you don’t move to pull off him, he feels his chest swell with even more pride. However, this time caused by the split second idea of starting a family with you. The thought of settling down has crossed his mind before, but when you’re cumming like that above him after worshiping every inch of his skin you could get your hands on, the idea very quickly imprints itself into his brain.
You ride him for a little longer to make the highs last as long as possible, and when it's finally over, the two of you sit there in silence to catch your breaths. His hands grab your forearms to hold you in place as he sits up, then pulls you into another desperate but passionate kiss.
The two of you lay together; bodies tangled and lips locking together.
When he doesn’t lean back in for another kiss, and instead just stares at you with a smile on his face, you can tell he’s lost in thought. But based on the smile, you leave it be and just smile back. On his side of things, he decided to poke at you tomorrow to ask where this all came from all of the sudden. In the meantime though, he just lies and enjoys your warmth, reveling in the new objective he has for his life. The once comforting silence is broken when he mindlessly speaks about this new goal in his mind.
“Bunny?”
“Yes baby?”
“I’m gonna marry you one day.”
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Nobody perceive me. I'm in shambles.
Taglist:
@jiminssluttyminx @changisworld @juskz
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charlottan · 3 days
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actually i will talk about my favorite stephen king books for a ittle bit. i think blaze is underrated. i remember nothing about it because, again, i read it when i was 17, but i never heard anybody talk about it, in stark contrast to how i remember feeling all excited reading it. i should reread it. its only 70k words thats like barely longer thaj a novella. anyway i also really loved insomnia a lot. i think it gets a little bit of hate for being too long but ive never minded a long book, especially one with a world like that. its really cool how much dark tower is in it with a lot of crimson king stuff and i think the first non-dt mention of the dark tower itself.
salems lot is good but thats a classic so i dont need to tell you about it
actually speaking of dark tower, waste lands is by far the best book dont @ me. i think my ranking of the books ive finished so far would go like. 3 2 5 1 6 4. in order from favorite to least favorite. i never got into wizard and glass it just wasnt my thing. and song of susannah is kindof a nothing book sorry susannah.
also DUMA. KEY. MASSIVELY UNDERRATED. its such a nice slice of life type of book with really interesting supernatural elements and a lot of mystery that pays off really well. i think king is at his best when hes doing slice of life stuff that just sorta marinates in the juices of a story. or something
also the dark half..... wonderful book. terrific book. i dont actually remember that much of it but i know i loved it. easy the most 5 evil birds out of 5 evil birds book ever written.
now im gonna be a little bit of a hater if youll allow me. misery is very well written but i hated how graphic it was. i recommend it for anyone whos fucked up and weird and not right in the head. the main thing for me is when she cuts off his thumb and serves it to him on a cake on his birthday. just a fucked up book. not my thing!
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elliesspacewalker · 3 days
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would you write something more on the cuter fluffy side? like baby ellie and reader being friends, maybe reader being supportive of ellie trying to help her somewhat? just them being cuties.
Yess!!
Warnings: pure fluff, mentions of suicide, transgender!Ellie and mentions of gender dysphoria
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I feel like Ellie would be super emotional about coming out as trans, I think she would think people would think of her differently. Obviously this isn't true, you, Dina, Jesse, cat, and everyone around her loves her so much!
I definitely think she'd cry a lot about it too, you'd definitely catch her crying for "no reason"
"Ellie hey? Why are you crying?" You'd comfort her and hold her as she sobs into your shoulder, moving a comforting hand to rub her shoulder as she sniffles "I don't know" she attempted to calm herself down "Ellie- breathe, please" you put your hand on your chest and breathed in and out, and she starts copying what you're doing "good job, it's okay" she calms down and brushes it off, obviously you weren't happy about it but she did calm down, she was OKAY and that was the point-
I also think she'd spend hours looking up gender dysphoria and thinking there was something wrong with her- that she wasn't normal and there was something severely wrong with her. After months of thinking she calls you over to talk to her, obviously you prepared for the worst because she never usually asked for you to come over and just talk to her because she wanted to kill herself- you could tell by her voice that shes been crying a lot.
It takes you not even 10 minutes to get to hers to see her tear stained cheeks.
"Els? What's wrong baby" you asked her, and she pulls you in for a hug "I think there's something wrong with me" her voice cracks as she holds you tight.
"talk to me Els, what happened?" Your voice is soft, so she knows you're not mad or angry, you're just concerned for her.
"i-i think I'm trans" she mumbles out, now standing in front of you. "Is this all you had to tell me?" You cup her face and wipe away her tears, you almost start crying after seeing her in so much pain "it's okay, I promise" you comfort her
"I thought you'd hate me or something" she sniffles.
"now, why the fuck would you think that?" You chuckle, "I love you for you Ellie and if you want to be a girl then that's who you are babe. no one can tell you different"
After that she came out to everybody except Joel, she's always gone to him for her problems but this felt personal and maybe he would reject her even though she knows he never would.
Until one night Joel misgendered her and she became really insecure about herself.. she barely touched her food and barely talked until Joel asked her what was up and she mumbled 'im trans' and Joel just looked at her, obviously shocked by this but he wasn't mad- Ellie saw this and thought he was mad and immediately broke down crying and Joel comforted her to tell her it was okay, and that he wasn't mad.
"I'm just mad you didn't tell me, I would've called you she if that's what you really wanted... You could've just told me Ellie" he says to her and she wipes away her tears "I'm sorry" she mumbled out "it's okay, I promise" he hugged her tightly..
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After that, everybody started calling her a she instead of misgendering her and she definitely gained a lot more self confidence from this.
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A/n: pretty short but I am thinking of making a series about this.... And about my own experiences
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cherrynflowergarden · 2 hours
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⋆𐙚𖦹 bf matt headcanons
an hiiii sorry for disappearing again😓 let me know if you want a pt 2 or nsfw version
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bf!matt who becomes your designated driver. doesn't matter if you can drive and have a car; he will drive you around anywhere and everywhere.
bf!matt who keeps your lip products in his car, almost as if it's your car.
bf!matt who keeps your favourite hello kitty toy on his car dashboard.
bf!matt you lets you tie bows everywhere in his car.
bf!matt who carries you around when you're tired.
bf!matt who grumbles a bit while doing silly tik tok trends but loves it either ways.
bf!matt who loved the kiss trend. (it gave him an opportunity to get unlimited kisses from his favourite person.)
bf!matt who loves to call you his girl.
bf!matt who is not a fan of pda but constantly has a arm around you.
bf!matt who wants you after any minor inconvenience.
"baby please i need you im dying"
"matt my love you just tripped over a rock"
bf!matt who swears he hates to be teased by his brothers and friends about but secretly loves it.
bf!matt who is socially awkward and lets you do the talking.
"excuse me, you got his order wrong!"
"can you let me how much this costs?"
"sorry to say, but matt is quite busy on the 25th. if you want we can reschedule the event. thank you!"
bf!matt who is listener. he listens to all of your endless talks. he can never get bored of your yapping.
bf!matt who has a girls night with you every weekend. he'll spend the entire night talking and bitching about people in the city with you.
bf!matt who loves gossiping. he knows all the tea. he also remembers who did what, who's dating who, who has beef with who, who fucked their bestfriend's ex and when. basically he is very much interested in the drama.
bf!matt who loves to cuddle you. anytime you're lying in his bed, he needs you in his arms. or needs to snuggle in your neck or chest.
bf!matt who gets his best sleep only when he's sleeping on your chest.
"but baby i love my personal pillow, so soft and all mine"
bf!matt who gets your favourite flowers everytime you two go on a date.
bf!matt who's not an aggressive person but will pick up a fight with anyone who makes his girl uncomfortable.
"that guy keeps weirdly staring at you, be right back gonna pluck his eyes out"
"mattew please!"
bf!matt who hates the word 'mattitude' but doesn't mind that coming from you.
"matt please your mattitude is showing"
bf!matt who continuously eats his brothers' ears off talking about you.
bf!matt that brings you up in every possible conversation.
"ohoo yn would like this"
"my girl loves this restaurant, let me get something packed for her"
"yn does that too!"
"dude can you not talk about her?"
"no tf?"
bf!matt who's genuinely surprised and happy everytime you get him something, be it flowers, his favourite drink, handmade cards or gift. he's absolutely starstruck.
bf!matt who's mesmerized seeing you in his clothes. he loves the way his shirt looks on you.
bf!matt who'll sometimes pick your nails or design or nails.
bf!matt who gets matching nails with you.
bf!matt who will make sure to pay for your nails.
bf!matt who lets you colour his tattoos when you're bored.
bf!matt who got a tattoo for you just three months into the relationship.
bf!matt with whom you have a matching tattoo.
bf!matt who knows he'll marry you.
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wanna tell us more about what happend with your ex-husband? if you want to...im sorry if the question is too personal
Achilles: It’s alright, I’m much better at talking about the whole thing now but it’s kind of a long story…
Achilles: Our relationship became very strained after we got married, he was so controlling and we were constantly arguing with each other over everything. He cheated on me a lot during that time, but he would always say something like, ‘Well, it’s your fault, you’re always busy with your band what am I supposed to do?’. Now I see how fucked up it was but at the time, I still loved him and I always made excuses for him. When I was 19, I found out that I was pregnant and it made everything so much more complicated but I was happy— he was happy, until the miscarriage. The whole experience was… traumatic, and he made me feel even worse for it, blaming me for what happened and for a long time I believed him.
Achilles: The last straw came about a year later, he brought up the miscarriage as a jab at me while we were bickering and that turned into a huge argument. I couldn’t take it anymore so I packed a bag and left. Our divorce went through a few months later, and even though it was difficult for me, I’m glad it ended because otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to experience a genuine relationship like the one I have with Patroclus.
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sugarcoatednightshade · 6 months
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thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.
And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.
And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.
And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?
Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.
Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.
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miutonium · 21 days
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🏃‍♀️Hi hi I'm reopening my commission again since I am in the middle of my final year project and I needed funds to support my art project _(:'3」∠)_
*also if you see my previous commission post minutes ago, please disregard that I put the wrong info there ;w; Also appreciate if you guys delete my previous post too if you reblogged it 🥲
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Please take note that since I am in the middle of my final year and I also have 3 pending commissions to go right now, I only be able to fully commit to this slot around the end of July!
SLOTS TAKEN: 2/5
*Taken slots will be updated from time to time!
‼️PLEASE READ MY TOS AND RULES BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO COMMISSION ME!!‼️
🔷️My TOS, art samples and additional rules/info can be read on my carrd here.
🔷️No rush orders will be accepted as I am currently in the middle of my final. If you need an estimate for commission turnarounds please refer to my Trello! I date stamp all of my progress from start to finish! Please commission me only if you don't mind waiting for me!!
I'm also posting my art samples (personal art) undercut!
And as always, reblogs are highly appreciated 🥰💕💕
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🔷️Please DM me if you're interested or have any inquiries regarding my commission!
🔷️There’s no pressure at all if you don’t want to reblog/share but I greatly appreciate it very much if you do
🥺👉👈Reblogs are definitely very much appreciated 🥰💕💕
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cringefail-clown · 10 months
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you werent supposted to be here
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thesmpisonfire · 5 months
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Sometimes I think about Ricardão and how he often talks about his health issues and how the QSMP Info stream also helped him have company during Christmas bc he couldn't leave to go anywhere and so he spent the day with Pomme's admin playing together and so neither was alone :(((
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angellurgy · 18 hours
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its my fault its all my fault and its too late to go back on it everyone hates me or ignores me now even more than the casual exclusion from before. i dont even have the irl friends i came here for i dont have az i dont have anyone and the more im forced to rot away the more i rot the more it festers the more you all forget me but you already forgot me anyway bc i scared ppl too much and one attempt is bad enuff so you cant be worried about more or care after ur just burnt out and i get it but fucking. nothing. i used to be at least like, smth a little. like ppl talked to me sometimes. now im just nothing, isolated little freak who tried to kill itself so gets the ultimate punishment of everything that was the problem before times 1000. mental illness so bad talking is like a battle against myself because ive doing it so little, i cant do anything and i have no help and im too hopeless to even die im trying to work up the effort and energy but it doesnt come so i just rot and dissociate and ramble incessantlt on here hoping someone who i would kill to hear from will msg me or something to tell me that im noy hated or that ppl will start liking me again but it never comes because im rotting so it never changes and i know people hate me for not responding to them while i post shit like this which just makes ppl dislike me or be dissuaded from msging me even more but im just fucking in a pit and every single thing pushes me back in it. im trying to write poetry of the places i go in my dreams but i cant even muster the brajnpower must of the time. even when i retreat into myself and try to think about a future i know from what i see that nothing is possible because of what i am - and i am so fucking sorry for being what i am. i want so much, but i need too much help in order to do it. im too contradictory. too stupid. too 'kicked dog'. ill never escape this at this point. never. all i do is lose more and more, even if the passport application goes thru at this rate idk if ill have anyone to stay with/visit. i just needed fucking help. need help. but im too. helpless. so im just ranting here to no one, annoying my mutuals even more, the ones that have forgotten any memory of me except bad things, and losing even more when i come back. but i cant stop myself from posting bc i have nowhere else to put any thoughts n its the only chance of anything. ive been fucking trying. but. i cant do everything. i cant do most things right now in this state. i need help. but all i do is lose. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sorry. sorry for not dying. i feel so so so fucking bad. all the time. for not dying and for wasting everyones thoughts and energy. for wasting their hope and their anger. even if im cracked open mentally now i dont think ill ever make up for it until i die. im sorry. no ones gonna fucking read this lol. im still sorry. god i wish anyone still thought abt me. i sont get msgs from anyone anymore except for a couple family. i feel so detached. even tho i want back in. i cant. i forgot how it works. sorry
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mamawasatesttube · 4 months
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tired: the bats are so weird and creepy and everyone else is always so normal compared to them!
wired: impulse started fidgeting so hard he just started vibrating and clipped halfway through the floor and part of helen's foot before he realized what he was doing. this is just a normal tuesday
inspired: superman, superboy, and supergirl are sitting together in midair having a mild-mannered midwestern discussion as to which of their nonpowered combatant friends has the most fucked-up looking bones. several of said friends are in the room and really wish they wouldn't do this
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gatogotica · 5 months
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psych is actually so fucked up for the mommy issues they gave shawn. like idolizing her for so so long simply based on the fact she’s not henry (which is a whole other can of worms). she’s never in a single childhood flashback. she’s never mentioned even off-handedly. nobody calls her when shawn got shot, or really any of the other countless times shawn was hurt or in danger. like she sincerely in every sense of the word was a deadbeat and shawn refused to allow himself to see it because he had to hold on to the belief he had his mom to cling to because, again, she wasn’t his dad
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soldier-poet-king · 10 months
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Thinking abt body horror as romantic. Body horror as intimate recognition of the self and the other and the other as the self. Body horror as an encounter with the divine.
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