#HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! SJ is coming back this year let's all do well^^

[dc41896]

Sick Day

Pairing: Chris EvansxBlack Reader

⚠️: None, all fluff💕!

“I can’t come?,” Bodie asks with little pink lips in a heart wrenching pout and doe-like golden brown eyes seemingly peering into his father’s soul.

“No bud, you have to stay in your class.”

“Why?”

“So you can learn new things, and play with your friends,” Chris explains squatting down to be at his eye level as the four-year-old peers down at his sneaker covered feet.

“Why?,” he mumbles clearly not happy with his answer.

“Because....”

Honestly, why did he have to stay in class? Everything they were doing he could do at home really. And with as many books and educational games he had, Chris began to wonder why he even had to go to pre-k at all?

“You know, I don’t have an answer for you Bo.”

His curls lightly bounce as he tilts his head waiting to hear what his father had to say next.

“What do you say we go have some fun?,” he asks picking up a now excited Bodie as he claps his hands with a short squeal.

“Now daddy?!”

“Mhm. First we gotta get your bag, but after we can do anything you want bubs.”

The toddler beamed and mind began to race with all the things he’d want to do. Comfortably lying his head on Chris’ shoulder as they eventually left his school, he thought maybe they could even go to Disney and see his favorite characters after doing everything they could in town.

———

“More please!”

“Shh,” he chuckles momentarily placing his index finger over his own lips before pouring a few more jellybeans in his hand from the bag they were sharing. “Okay no more after this. You still gotta eat dinner.”

Just as he said, the two did everything Bodie wanted. First they went to the zoo and saw all the animals, then they went to the park and played catch as well as swung and climbed on the jungle gym (with Chris’ help). They even had lunch at his favorite restaurant and caught the last bit of the Red Sox game.

Now all that was left was for the two to eat dinner and Bodie get a bath without you knowing about him skipping school. Easy.

“Hey boys,” you smile as they enter the kitchen, an excited “mommy!” leaving your son’s lips as he leans in to kiss your cheek before your husband meets your lips. “How was school?”

“Good!,” Chris quickly answers putting down the little boy so he could go play with Dodger, happy to have his buddy back. “He had a great day.”

“Really?”

“Yea, the teacher said he did really well with his reading. And his uh group time went well too.”

You have to stifle your grin listening to your husband trying his best to lie when both of you knew he couldn’t. From his neck up to his ears and face became tinted a light red as he nervously scratched his beard, making you look at him feigning concern.

“Babe you okay? You keep scratching and you’re red,” you state placing the back of your hand on his forehead.

“Y-Yea, I guess I’m just a little hot is all.”

“You sure? Hopefully you didn’t catch something at the zoo.”

“No I doubt-,” he starts before his blue eyes expand and mouth slightly goes agape as you nonchalantly go back to moving around the contents of the sizzling pan.

“Or maybe it was something you ate at Maddio’s?,” you suggest with a smirk. The only thing he can manage to do is release a shaky chuckle with fingers rapidly tapping the cool marble countertop.

“H-How..”

“Peter’s mom called me saying how she hoped Bo felt better after she heard he left school early because he was sick, and thus wouldn’t need to be picked up for his play date. I told her how that was news to me, but I’d call you to see what happened. As soon as I hung up with her, I got a notification from the bank on how a purchase was just made at the zoo, which was confusing until Maddio’s also popped up and then things came together.”

He really needed to remember to turn off those bank notifications on your phone when he got the chance.

“So sounds like you guys had fun today.”

“Alright you caught us,” he sighs wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. “I didn’t get any time with him last night since I got in so late, or this morning because I was still asleep when you guys left, so I thought I could go and peek in on him in class really quick. Of course he saw me, so we played for a while and when I had to leave he looked so sad babe! I couldn’t just leave him like that.”

“Which then made you persuade our son to play hookie,” you giggle making him softly laugh.

“I’m sorry for being a bad influence,” he pouts as you turn in his arms to face him, lips meeting his soft, jutted bottom one.

“It’s okay, plus you haven’t been the only bad influence. When you first left I might’ve, sorta, let him stay home for a week,” you reveal shyly biting your bottom lip. Now was his turn to smirk before gently nudging your cheek with his nose and a low “well well well,” rolls off his tongue making you laugh.

“He was sad, I was sad, even Dodger wasn’t as upbeat as usual. So, I figured everyone deserved time at home with some much needed cuddles.”

Shaking his head, a lone strand of hair dangles perfectly in front of his forehead and tongue clicks as you playfully roll your eyes lying your head on his chest. “A whole week and I only took him one day.”

“Okay so maybe I was a little more sad and selfishly needed the extra cuddles, sue me. Plus what Bo does in class we can do here.”

“That’s exactly what I said! Even today he read the menu, ordered his own food, and we did math,” he smiles calling out to the giggling boy over his shoulder. “Bodie, how many innings are in a baseball game?”

“9!”

“And how many bases are there?”

“Um..3 daddy. And-and home is 4!,” he answers bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Good job bubs! See? Just call me Mr. Frizzle,” he winks, the both of you laughing as you held onto each other.

Eyes wandering to the living room, a soft smile graces yours and Chris’ faces watching your son show Dodger how the lion he got from the zoo matched his larger one. It was hard to believe that you two already had a four year old when it seemed like you were just walking around the house with both hands at the base of your growing belly.

Although you could do without the morning sickness, back pains, and the struggling to catch your breath parts of pregnancy, you did miss the overall experience of it. So much so that you’d been recently thinking maybe it was time Bodie had a sibling.

“Can we have another one?,” you ask not taking your gaze away from the adorable duo lying on their bellies on the floor. Chris slightly parts from you making sure he not only heard you correctly, but that your expression was truly as serious as your words.

“Really? You want another baby?”

“Well yeah. I mean we’ve talked about it before how we both wanted more than one, and lately with Bo growing up so fast I’ve missed having a baby in the house.”

“Not to mention you were very cute while pregnant,” Chris adds, leaning down to peck just below your jaw. There wasn’t a time while you were carrying Bodie that his eyes weren’t adoringly attached to you. Watching you do the simplest things, like watering the plants around the house, instantly made his heart swell and a bright smile form on his lips at your glowing skin and the fact that you were growing his child’s life within you.

“Then it’s settled..?”

“Mhm, and maybe when this one gets old enough we can have a joint family hookie day?,” he jokingly suggests causing you to giggle.

“As a responsible adult and parent I probably shouldn’t say it, but that’s actually not a bad idea.”

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[stusbunker]

A Gentlemen’s Agreement Epilogue

A Supernatural Denny AU Fan-fiction Series

Featuring: Dean Winchester/ Benny Lafitte

Other characters: Pamela, Jesse, Caesar, Crowley, Balthazar, Meg, Jo, Lee, Lisa, Sam (mentioned), Drea OFC, Robbie and SJ OMCs, Deanna OFC

Word count: 2340

A/N: Enjoy! xoxo Stu

Brunch

    The sun was bright, but the air was crisp. The remnants of the early snowstorm had left soggy lawns and damp sidewalks. Benny pulled up to the restaurant and parked on the curb, smiling over at Dean. He waited patiently. 

    “You sure this is a good idea?” Dean squinted in the midday light.

    “Been dying to meet ya. Figured it’s only fair, I met your folks, you can meet my people too,” Benny said simply. “But I’m not gonna force ya.”

    “I just, I’m not used to being out in public. In numbers,” Dean sputtered.

    Benny raised a single eyebrow at him. “Well, I guess this is your best shot to try it out, dontcha think?”

    “What if they don’t like me? I don’t want you to have to choose between me and your friends,” Dean explained the root of the problem.

    “I like you, they will too. Just relax, be your charming self and if you don’t know what to say, you can just keep eating.” Benny put his hand on Dean’s thigh, squeezing just so.

    Dean growled out a sigh. “Fine. But you’re paying.”

    Like that could make an uncomfortable situation worth it. Benny smirked at Dean’s logic, waiting for his face to soften from grouchy to amiable. Once Dean relaxed, Benny kissed him, just long enough to keep him flustered and climbed out of the truck.

     They approached a large round table midway along the heated patio, where four people were already seated.

A raven haired woman waved them over. “My good Benjamin, did you bring a straight boy to brunch, just for me?!”

“Pammy!” Benny leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Hate to disappoint ya darlin', but ain't nothing straight about this'n."

 “Hey, now! Can’t a guy speak for himself?!” Dean snipped defensively as he sat in the spot beside Benny.

Everyone laughed. Pamela raised her eyebrow in question.

Dean licked his lips and put on the smolder, “Sorry sweetheart, but I’m taken.”

“Wait, this--- THIS is your sassy mechanic?!” Crowley leaned forward, extending his hand, his English brogue gruff and pandering. “Nice to finally meet you, handsome.”

       Dean gave Benny the side eye and all Benny could do was shrug coyly. Dean shook the man’s hand, trying not to show his discomfort from his lingering glances. Benny made the rest of the introductions, Jesse and Cesar were also a couple, but had been married for a few years. They seemed to be waiting on someone before they ordered. The group sipped their cocktails with a fresh pitcher of Bloody Mary in the center of the kitsch tablecloth.

Benny poured Dean a generous portion of the red drink and slipped seamlessly into the conversation. Dean sucked the palmeto out of an olive and listened casually, not too sure where he fit in this part of Benny’s life.

Twenty minutes later a rail of a guy swaggered in, with oversized aviators and a black linen suit. 

“Oh, thank Christ for booze,” he huffed, grabbing Dean’s glass without even acknowledging Dean was there. The blonde chugged the entire drink, before breaking for air. “I just had the worst hook up of my life, no, well, the year at least. He took me to his mother’s house. She tried to make me breakfast. I was simply mortified. I just left. What could I even do at that point, honestly?!”

Now that his audience had his attention back, the man gawked at Dean. He even pulled down his sunglasses for a better look. “Now who the fuck is this? Is it show and tell?! Because I am not prepared in the least.” 

He casually patted at his hair and eyed Dean from top to toe. Benny chuckled, but Pamela was the one to make the introduction.

“Balthazar, our regular hangover diva. Meet Dean, Benny’s boy toy,” she deadpanned, eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Oh you can’t be serious,” Balthazar lamented, looking from Pam to Benny to Crowley and finally at Dean. “Fuck you southerners and your goddamn accents--- always gets the hotter ones,” he muttered defensively as he threw himself against the armrest of the chair, crossing his legs.

“Well, now that we’re all here,” Cesar ended the dramatics concisely. “Maybe somebody should find our waitress?”

Dean looked at Benny confused. “We’re always here for a while, she doesn’t bother us until we’re actually ready to order. Tend to annoy her otherwise.”

Crowley volunteered as he needed to head to the men’s room anyhow. Five minutes later he arrived with an obviously surly waitress.

“Well look what the cat dragged in,” Meg’s smokey voice broke through Balthazar's latest story. She centered herself between Cesar and Crowley’s seat and cocked her hip, tongue firmly in cheek as she waited for Dean to take her bait.

“Heya, Meg,” Dean sighed. The inevitable caught up with him after all, they just had to run into someone he knew.

“Oh, this has got to be good, now, pray tell, how do you two know each other?” Crowley probed.

“Oh me and this schmuck? We go way back.” Meg smiled without teeth.

“Is that so?” Benny tested the waters.

“Not like that,” Dean grumbled. “Meg, here, took my little brother Sammy out for a few spins, back in the day. Didn’t you, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, well, what can I say? It was high school.” Meg let her indifference coat her entire being until curiosity sparked to life in her eyes. “So what are you doing with this crowd, or did they bring you in just to add a new level of torture to my Sunday shifts?”

“Well---.” Dean swallowed, looked at Benny for clarification and got mild amusement instead. “I think you’re stuck with me now.”

“Joy,” Meg bristled before taking their orders, knowing most of the table’s usuals before they even opened their mouths.

News

    Benny rushed into the customer entrance of the shop, the wet October air had kept the service doors closed for the past week. He leaned against the counter, decorated in local business cards and charity fliers, anxiously waiting for someone to talk to. His chest was so tight he worried he’d pass out from excitement. He just needed to see him was all, once he saw Dean it would be easier.

    Lee sauntered in from the service bay, they both had drawn the short straw it seemed.

    “Hey, mind getting Dean for me? It’s important,” Benny asked, unable to keep the burning smile from his face.

    Lee eyed him curiously but nodded and headed back the way he came. He didn’t shout, not really. “Dean-o, your boyfriend’s looking for ya.”

    Dean unfurled himself from the engine he had been tinkering with all morning and glared at Lee.

    “Husband, whatever, seems urgent,” Lee acquiesced. Dean nodded and wiped his hands off on the closest rag. Dean pulled his wedding band out from his undershirt out of habit more than anything. He couldn’t wear it on his hands at work, but he didn’t want to lose it so Benny made him a braided leather necklace once they got back from their honeymoon.

    Dean ignored formality and walked straight into the waiting room. Once he saw the look on Benny’s face he knew what was happening.

    “It’s go time?” He asked, shock and exhilaration sparking his instinct to move.

    “It’s go time, cher. Lisa called me on the way to the hospital. Sam’s driving her from the office. Her water broke about 9:30,” Benny explained, the nervousness slipping into his cadence.

    “Alright, I’m gonna clean up, you want me to drive?” Dean asked, gauging the unsteadiness in his usually stalwart husband.

    “That’s probably best, yeah,” Benny agreed. 

Dean leaned in and kissed him firmly, resting his forehead against Benny’s temple before pulling away.“Hey, we got this, alright? That kid is gonna be so spoiled having you for a daddy, you know that?”

“Look who’s talking, gonna have you wrapped around their finger before they can even crawl,” Benny teased back, inhaling with contentment.

Dean headed back to warn his coworkers that he had a baby on the way and to clean up enough to be allowed into a hospital. Jo followed Dean out into the lobby. Quickly, she hugged Benny before demanding regular updates to the group chat.

“Alright, get out of here, we’ve got you covered for the rest of the week. Let me know and I will put in paternity leave as soon as everyone’s home, okay?” Jo got all professional about things as Dean left.

“Oh, right, shit. Well, I guess I’ll let you know when you can come over and---,” Dean started before Benny pulled him by his elbow.

“We should be goin’” Benny urged. Dean looked at Jo one last time and nodded.

This was it.

   Dean held Benny’s hand the whole way to the hospital, their grip tightening every so often, grounding them both. Because Lisa was a friend and the surrogacy was looser than most circumstances, both Benny and Dean were allowed in the delivery room. They were the best cheerleaders a birth mom could have ever asked for. Seven hours later, one chubby baby girl entered the world screaming to high heaven and splitting her fathers’ hearts open for an entirely new level of love and devotion.

    Mary Andrea Lafitte-Winchester, or Drea for short, was a happy and healthy little girl. And an overprotective big sister to her twin brothers, Samuel Joel and Robert Fergus, who came along four years later.

Sunset

    They’re old men now. Dean is five years retired, while Benny works the register for their sons on the weekends. Both of their hands aren’t what they used to be. But they keep busy. Drea is bringing the kids round tomorrow, it’s the start of summer break and Dean’s been dying to teach her kids to fish.  

    Dean went grey after he turned fifty, but it hasn’t changed since, in color at least. Benny’s beard is as white as Santa Claus and he hides what little hair he has left under a cap. They’re both a little rounder, a little lower to the ground, but they got that way together and neither of them notice it on one another anyhow.

       Every year they visit Jesse and Cesar in Arizona for New Year's. Though they fly more than make the drive these days.

        They still take turns cooking the meals and the movie nights from their early days resurfaced into movie afternoons when their kids moved out. Dean can’t hear for shit anymore and, naturally, Benny makes fun of him for it. But Dean’ll put in his hearing aids if company is over.

 It’s early evening in the beginning of June and the bugs are orchestrating quite the soundtrack to their time on the porch. Dean pours his whiskey. Benny’s already sipping his sweet tea, his medications don’t let him drink much anymore. Jo’ll come by on Sunday, along with SJ and his wife and Robbie. Sam and Jess usually make it to every other dinner or so.

    “Hey there, handsome. Mind if I join you?” Dean teases, once a flirt always a flirt.

    “Not at all, cher. It’s a helluva view,” Benny glances at his husband, watches Dean take in the peaches and pinks kissing the slopes of the fields. They sit like that for an hour, until the dark is too thick to see through. Groaning and creaking they stand in turn. Dean keeps his hand on the small of Benny’s back as they head inside for the night, steadying them both.

    They moved their bedroom to the ground floor after Dean’s heart attack, a lot less worry about making it upstairs that way. After being married forty years, Dean still makes jokes about it being Benny’s place. But it’s always been his home. He kisses Benny goodnight, makes it a little saucy because he can. He’s the first to close his eyes.

    In the morning Benny makes waffles and tofu bacon. Dean pretends he can’t taste the difference, fooling no one. They make out while the sink fills for the dishes, too few to run the machine. Benny gets handsy first and Dean tries to squirm into the upperhand. They’re interrupted by a car pulling in the drive.

    “Busted,” Benny whispers.

    “You’re the one who wanted kids,” Dean grumbles against Benny’s neck, an old, unfounded retort.

    “Yeah, but the grandkids---,” Benny starts.

    “Were made to be spoiled,” Dean finishes and kisses Benny once more. Drea’s yelling at her kids to slow down before her dads even make it outside to greet them. Her eyes, blue as her daddy’s are tired. They don’t envy her the school aged years. Dean bends down as baby Deanna, who’s nearly four, comes crashing into his arms. He pulls her up and holds her tight, reminds him of her mama and he can’t help but get a little weepy over the passing years. 

    “It’s so good to see you, baby girl.” Benny pulls his daughter into a hug before helping with their bags. The older kids don’t come inside until it’s time to eat, climbing through the barn and splashing in the creek until they’re soaked. But Deanna sticks with her Grandpa on a simple stroll, while Pappy and Mama catch up.

    Dean still has the jacket he bought from Benny, though the pants are long gone. He’ll leave it to Robbie when the time comes, when his son finds himself a stud that’s worth settling down for. If that’s what he chooses. 

    For now, Dean lets his granddaughter pick up every rock and stick she finds and examines it to the nth degree. He explains what he can about each one. She’s very curious. He even lets her wipe her chubby little hands on his pants’ leg when she needs to. They get back to the house just in time to start dinner, but before they go inside Dean takes a mental picture of his husband on the porch, their daughter beside him and his granddaughter running past him.

   It is a helluva view after all. 

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[megalony]

Family of six- Part 2

This is the second part of my new Murderer! Ben Hardy series that I hope everyone will enjoy, feedback is always lovely.

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Murderer! Ben masterlist

Series masterlist

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have a son together and are pregnant again but things take a worrisome turn when (Y/n) develops severe morning sickness and they find out they’re having triplets.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"(Y/n) Hardy?"

The moment (Y/n) heard her name called out it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders but another weight had settled down in her stomach. (Y/n) had been very close to cancelling this appointment with the midwife today with how badly she felt when she woke up but Ben wasn't having it. He didn't care if he had to carry her in, he wanted someone to check on his wife and help her because she wasn't well at all.

She felt Ben's arm securing around her waist when they both stood up and he could almost see all the blood draining from her head and going everywhere else in her body.

(Y/n) was happy the moment they made it into the room where she could slump down into a chair.

"Okay, how are you doing (Y/n)... are you feeling alright today?" The midwife they knew as Mandy sat down in the chair opposite to where (Y/n) and Ben were sitting. She had a kind smile on her face but a concerned look in her eyes when she seemed to take in (Y/n)'s appearance. She could see (Y/n) wasn't feeling well by the way she was slumped in her chair and how she kept closing her eyes like she had a headache. (Y/n) also looked like she was trying very hard to control her breathing in a way that implied she was trying to stop herself from being sick.

"I feel sick, I haven't been able to eat much over the past few weeks, I just keep bringing it back up."

"Are you finding it hard to keep fluids down too?" Mandy looked at her notes on the computer to her right before she looked back over at (Y/n).

"I haven't seen her keep anything down over the last week, not even water." Ben spoke up when (Y/n) bowed her head and closed her eyes like she just wanted to curl up and disappear to stop the feeling of being sick. She knew that she couldn't be sick right now because she hadn't eaten in over twelve hours and she had only managed a few sips of juice. Nothing but bile and water would be thrown back up right now.

"Right, I'd like to take your blood pressure and check your weight first if that's okay."

When (Y/n) nodded, Mandy got up and moved over to a drawer to get the band to check (Y/n)'s blood pressure. The black band felt like a shirt sleeve that was far too tight but it didn't get too tight or stay on (Y/n)'s arm long enough to become irritable before Mandy had gotten the results she was looking for.

"Now if you'd come and stand on the scales for me."

(Y/n) did as asked, trying to stop the dizziness from overtaking her mind when she stood up straight on the scales. It was very clear that whatever was going on with this pregnancy wasn't just normal morning sickness because (Y/n) knew many people who suffered morning sickness and they could still eat and drink. They were able to eat when the sickness wore off later in the day or early in the morning, (Y/n) couldn't do that at all.

"Let's sit you down on the bed ready for the scan." The tone of Mandy's voice was soothing and understanding and she took (Y/n)'s elbow to ensure she didn't stumble or fall when walking unevenly over to the bed. "You're blood pressure is lower than I'd like it to be and you've lost weight rather than putting any on. I think it's safe to say you have what we call Hyperemesis Gravidarum which is severe morning sickness."

A look of unease took over (Y/n)'s features and her eyes darted over to look at Ben when he walked over and sat down beside her. (Y/n) knew that with her not eating her health and that of the baby would be worse and at risk but it didn't click that not eating would mean she would lose weight. She just presumed that she would still put the weight on because she was pregnant.

"How long will it last?" (Y/n) could feel the nervousness in her voice as she asked the question she dreaded the answer to. She knew morning sickness varied from woman to woman but if this went on much longer she was going to end up in hospital.

"There's no definite answer but I would presume it will continue until at least the twenty week mark. But we can manage this so please don't look so worried, I'll prescribe you vitamins and some anti-emetics which will stop you from being sick and hopefully let you start to eat and drink and it might be best if I put you on steroids too since you're losing weight. Now, let's see this baby for the first time."

(Y/n) nodded and she knew Ben could almost feel the relief she felt when he took hold of her hand to try and calm her down. It was relieving to know it wasn't something more serious than this and that Mandy seemed sure it was something that could be helped and controlled. But Ben knew (Y/n) was more than relieved because she wouldn't have to go to hospital, at least not right now. She had been desperate to go home from the hospital when they had Billy and it had annoyed and frustrated her when she had to stay in for a week after his birth. (Y/n) never wanted to go to hospital unless it was completely necessary.

"I-is something wrong?" (Y/n) interlocked her fingers with Ben's as they both looked at the midwife who seemed to be either anxious or uneasy about something as she looked at the monitor.

"No, nothing's wrong. I think this is going to come as a shock to you both, but it looks like you're expecting triplets."

The moment those words passed through her lips (Y/n) felt her stomach churning like she was going to be sick and she looked at Ben when his hand clenched around hers like he was trying to cut off her circulation.

Three babies at once.

Three newborns to look after twenty four seven and a five year old. Ben had the kind of job where he was great at escaping the police but it had happened more than once where (Y/n) had had to wait three or four months for him to get out of jail and repeatedly go and give a false statement to the police. Ben worked hard at the club and he was finding it hard to balance work and family life, three more kids all at once was going to make that even harder on all of them.

Looking after Billy when he was a baby had been hard enough, what if one or all of the babies were hard to feed or were fussy? What if they wouldn't get into a sleep routine, what if Ben was working more or couldn't get as much time off so (Y/n) was left home with four children who needed constant care?

How was this pregnancy going to work out? Twins and triplets in pregnancies came with complications, (Y/n) might not get to full term, she might have complications during labour or have to go on bed rest or get ill. She could lose one of them at any point during the pregnancy if something went wrong.

"No..." (Y/n) shook her head but the look on Mandy's face showed that she wasn't joking or making this up. She turned the screen so that both parents could look at the black and grey mess that was supposed to resemble their babies.

"Here's baby one, two, and three is hiding right there."

Mandy slowly pointed out the small grey shapes to them and it hurt (Y/n) that the more she looked at the screen, the quicker she could decipher each blob into a baby. She didn't want three babies all at once, she didn't want the risks or complications or the stress and pressure that came with triplets. But she had always imagined herself with a big family and she didn't want to get rid of them.

"I can see this is a big surprise so I'll leave you alone for a few minutes and get a few copies of this printed for you. You're thirteen weeks along but with triplets you'll need a few extra scans and appointments so we can monitor you closely, especially with your morning sickness and weight loss. But everything else seems to be in order."

Mandy smiled kindly at them both before she left the room to give them a few moments to talk and gather themselves.

"Three babies... how are we going to cope?" (Y/n) turned her head to look at Ben as she slowly sat up straight and cleaned her stomach before pulling her shirt down. If it had already been hard coping when Billy had been born then (Y/n) didn't want to imagine how they were going to cope with four kids, three of whom would be newborns needing a lot of care and attention.

Work and money and their home weren't issues that they had to worry about which was something of a relief at least. (Y/n) worked as a carer which was frankly the opposite of Ben when he was a boxer by trade who wound up killing a lot of people. But she had a feeling that she wouldn't be working for very much longer with how badly she was feeling and now knowing she would have three newborns to care for.

Ben profited from the club alone but all the dodgy dealings he had going on behind closed doors meant he had a lot of money saved even with the money he spent on the club and his workers and his deals. But with how much Ben worked and how badly the club needed to be ruled with an iron fist, it meant four kids wasn't the best idea right now.

"We'll cope just fine, I'm already cutting down my hours at the club to be home with you and Billy-"

"The club doesn't run well without you there and you know it."

"My guys follow my rules, I'm sure I can snap them into shape enough so that they don't burn the place down while I'm not there. I'm not leaving you alone right now when you're not well and I'm not leaving you to look after Billy and three babies on your own."

Ben was in charge of the club and he made all the rules, he knew he could get his workers to follow his rules to the dot so that when he wasn't there nothing bad happened. It may not run as perfectly as it did when Ben was there but as long as the club still functioned and nothing went wrong it would be fine. He had to be home right now to look after (Y/n) and Billy and he certainly had to be there if they were now going to be having three newborns to look after.

He could tell that (Y/n) was on the verge of disagreeing with him so he cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. He loved her and he knew they were more than capable of making this work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Have you two not moved since I left this morning?" The smirk resting on Ben's lips was clear as he entered the living room and looked over at (Y/n) and Billy. The pair of them were laid on the sofa bundled under a cover with a few of Billy's books scattered about the sofa with them.

When Ben left to go to the club this morning he left them both much like they were now, curled up watching tv. For the past two weeks with (Y/n) feeling ill, Billy had been glued to her hip, staying on the sofa or in bed with her to keep her company. It was rather endearing to Ben to see how Billy was being sweet and trying to make (Y/n) feel better. Billy especially loved it this morning when Ben asked him to look after (Y/n) while he was at work, it made Billy feel grown up and important.

"We made dinner." Billy pulled the blanket up higher until it was tucked under his chin and a smile was playing on his lips as he watched Ben's movements.

He watched as Ben shrugged off his dark blue jacket and put his keys down on the coffee table before he sat down next to Billy who was now sat happily between both parents. Billy tugged on the cover wrapped around him and (Y/n) so that he could drape the end over Ben's lap so that he was laid under the covers with them.

"Oh did you, what did you make?"

"We made pasta."

"I'll have to try some then won't I. Why don't you go and get your mum another drink cause she needs her medicine now." Ben kissed Billy's forehead before watching him wriggle out from between both parents and scuttle to the kitchen. "How you feeling, baby?"

Ben moved over until his leg bumped against (Y/n)'s and he was close enough to run his fingers through her hair and brush it out of her eyes. The way he looked at her made (Y/n) feel like he was both admiring and studying her at the same time and it caused a shiver to run down her spine.

"Hungry, I didn't feel like eating earlier. Billy's been reading to me for the past hour to make me feel better." (Y/n) didn't feel amazing but she didn't feel like the world was spinning around her or that she was going to faint or throw up to no end. She had managed to find the energy to get up and go to the kitchen to make dinner with Billy which she hadn't done for the past week with how she had been feeling. And for once (Y/n) now felt a bit hungry instead of sick and she had been serenaded with stories by Billy because it was what both parents did for him when he was ill.

"You look more awake and lively than this morning. Have your meds then you can try and eat something with me."

Ben leaned over and cupped her face before he kissed her, feeling a bit more at ease since (Y/n) looked better than she did this morning. She wasn't laid with no energy to move or gagging or curled up trying to stop herself from being sick. She just had to eat and actually keep something down and she might start to feel and get better.

He could feel (Y/n) smiling into the kiss and the way she bit her lower lip when he kissed the corner and edge of her mouth before pulling back with a sly grin on his face. Ben leaned his head to the right when (Y/n) slowly curled her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead against his cheek. (Y/n) watched with a smile as Ben picked up the black bag on the table that (Y/n) used to use as a make up bag.

She had been given steroids, vitamin tablets, tablets to stop her being sick and supplement powder sachets for her drink if she didn't manage to eat anything. Ben never seemed to forget or miss anything like (Y/n) did, she could remember to take her tablets in the morning and then an hour later she could forget to take them. Ben knew how many anti-emetics she could take a day and what times she should take them and it was so much easier for (Y/n) if Ben helped and reminded her when and what to take.

(Y/n) took the steroids and anti-emetics in the morning, the vitamins around this time with the emetics again which she also had at night and then she could have the sachets whenever she thought she needed them if she hadn't eaten or drank anything.

"Alright baby, take these two." Ben handed (Y/n) the two small circular tablets and what was left of her juice and watched as she tipped her head back to make sure she could swallow them. Tablets never usually came as much of a problem to (Y/n) but with the way she was feeling lately even swallowing tablets was hard.

Ben got the antiemetic medication into the syringe it came with but when he gave it to (Y/n) she knew the look in his eyes. She had to take this three times a day because of how badly she was being sick and not intaking any fluids and it was in liquid form because she couldn't take many tablets without being sick. But for the past three days she had been on the medication, most of the time she had thrown it back up so it wasn't getting into her system.

"Please try and keep this one down."

(Y/n) nodded as she took the syringe from Ben and cringed as she swallowed the medicine that made her throat feel dry and her stomach feel unsettled. She knew he wasn't mad at her and he knew she couldn't help if she threw up but if she couldn't keep the medication down that was meant to stop her from being sick then they would have to go to the hospital.

With a sigh, (Y/n) leaned her head on Ben's shoulder as his arm circled around her waist to hold her to his side. The small moment of peace that the couple found themselves in didn't last long before Billy was carefully walking back over to them with a glass of blackcurrant juice clasped carefully between his small hands.

"Thank you baby." (Y/n) smiled when Billy put the drink down on the coffee table before he turned and looked at both parents for a moment.

"Daddy move, you're in my place!" Billy hopped up onto Ben's lap and then wriggled around until Ben sighed and let Billy burrow his way in between him and (Y/n). He watched with a smile and roll of his eyes as Billy moved his way under (Y/n)'s arm so he could sit tucked up by her side like he had been doing before Ben came home. It made Ben smile more because Billy was just as attached to (Y/n) as Ben was, (Y/n) always commented on how Billy was a double of Ben and now he was starting to act like him too.

"I think it's my place to be next to your mum but I'll let you off this one. I'm gonna go get some of that pasta." 

Ben shook his head jokingly at his boy before he made his way into the kitchen, seeing that (Y/n) had plated up pasta for them both so he just had to heat it up. It was surprising but very good for Ben to se that (Y/n) felt well enough to cook and move about the house. He had taken to coming home at dinner and making them all something to eat or making stuff and putting it in the fridge to make it easier for (Y/n). He didn't want her overdoing anything and making herself feel worse.

He put the plate in the microwave and flicked the kettle on to make a drink before he leaned back against the counter and went on his phone for a few moments. He had left Andrew in charge of the club but everything was set out for the day and the rotas and finances were done so Ben was hopeful nothing would happen or go wrong whilst he was home today.

He was alternating between taking the mornings off and having the afternoons off to vary things at the club and at home. He couldn't even think about doing a full day at the club yet until he knew for certain (Y/n) was well enough to be on her own with Billy.

"Daddy! Daddy mummy's sick!"

Ben barely took two sips of his coffee before he almost dropped his cup back down on the counter at the sound of Billy's panicked voice. He made his way quickly back into the living room but Ben couldn't help the way his lips curled in distaste and his blood started to boil.

(Y/n) didn't have the sick bucket downstairs with her and there was nothing else to use but the blanket over her lap. She huddled it in her hands and threw up into it, curling in on herself as gagged, feeling like she couldn't breathe. She could feel Billy patting her back but he didn't know what else to do but to look over at Ben with rather worried eyes.

"Buddy, go upstairs for me and put the tv on in our room, I'm gonna help your mum then take her up to bed." Ben gently hooked his hands under Billy's arms and picked him up from the sofa to place him down to his feet. He didn't want Billy to have to watch (Y/n) being sick and clearly feeling unwell and he knew she wouldn't want Billy to see her like this either. The five year old looked up at Ben and it was clear he wanted to protest but he didn't when Ben patted his back and gave him a nudge towards the doorway.

The moment Billy was out of sight Ben sat down next to (Y/n), moving his hand to her back as his other hand rubbed up and down her arm.

"Baby, baby just breathe it's okay." Ben rubbed his hand a bit harder between (Y/n)'s shoulderblades to try and help her catch her breath back.

Ben dared to look over (Y/n)'s shoulder and see the blanket between her legs but it only made his jaw tighten when he saw that she had thrown up the antiemetic medication and the vitamins he gave her less than twenty minutes ago. She couldn't carry on like this, she had to go to hospital if she was throwing her medication back up that was supposed to stop her from being sick. The midwife said they could control this but Ben could clearly see that things were getting out of control and he didn't like anything out of his control.

"I d-don't like this Ben, I can't even take the meds they gave me." The way (Y/n) sobbed at the end of her words made Ben shiver and his muscles tense. He wanted nothing more than to control this and make (Y/n) better, he wanted her to have almost no morning sickness like when they had Billy instead of this.

"I know baby, give it an hour and then we'll try again with the meds and if not I'll take you to hospital. I can't have you getting any worse than this baby. Now let me take you up to bed."

Ben wasn't messing about, whenever (Y/n) got ill Ben would get to a certain point before he ended up carrying (Y/n) to the car and taking her to a doctor. It happened more times than either of them cared to admit but this time Ben knew (Y/n) wouldn't be arguing when he decided to take her to hospital because it was clear that was going to happen sooner rather than later.

(Y/n) didn't protest when Ben hooked her arms around his neck before he gently curled her legs around his hips so he could stand and pick her up. She rested her head in the crook of Ben's neck as his hands moved to her bum and he walked out the room. Ben could feel the curve of (Y/n)'s stomach pressing against his own and it sparked something inside of him because he loved the feel of her stomach when she was pregnant. But right now all he could think of was that she was still losing weight which she needed to gain for the three lives they created.

"You playing with my chain baby?" Ben moved his head to look at (Y/n) when he started walking up the stairs. He could feel the small silver chain around his neck moving and tugging against the back of his neck making him shiver.

(Y/n) hummed in his ear as she continued to move the chain around his neck. There was just something about the chain that always captured (Y/n)'s attention and when Billy was a baby he always used to pull and bite the chain. But (Y/n) knew exactly how it got to Ben when she messed with his chain and she liked the chain.

"You're lucky your ill." Ben growled quietly in (Y/n)'s ear and he could feel her smiling against his neck when he hit her bum. They both knew if (Y/n) wasn't sick she wouldn't get away with teasing him.

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control, Chapter Thirteen

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas!

Feysand and Elriel

Warnings: Mentions of terminal cancer, alcohol use

Author’s Note: I DID NOT THINK THIS WOULD HAPPEN TODAY BUT I DID IT. IT WAS WRITTEN IN A FRENZY.

MASTERLIST LINK

Please enjoy:)

THIRTEEN

~~~Feyre~~~

In order to keep things as comfortable as possible, Mor helped me move on the last day of Christmas training before I went home. Rhys had left a day earlier to visit his father in London. Student-athletes who were recruited from outside the country got a few extra days over Christmas break in order to travel the long distance home. The rest of us were forced to wait the full extra six days before we could go home, training for about five hours a day and sleeping the other nineteen. 

Exhausted after an early Christmas training practice on the Tuesday before Christmas, we managed to move me out of my place and into hers in under four hours. A remarkable feat. I hugged Mor goodbye outside the house.

“It’s going to be weird living with Rhys. Is this stupid?”

Mor pulled away. “I’d prefer you here with my cousin and me than with those two assholes. You have a whole floor to yourself! Rhys and I on the top, you’re two whole floors away from him. But don’t think for a second that I won’t be traveling to ground level to visit you, like, all the time.” 

I smiled. “Thanks Mor. For everything.” I meant for more than just letting me move in. Being my friend, looking out for me, being supportive even with all the drama between Rhys and me. 

Her nod told me she understood. 

She pulled me in for one last hug and then flounced into her car without a glance backward. I’d really lucked out with Mor. 

As Mor pulled away, I shifted to face the house. My new house. Two new roommates, one of them my ex. If I wasn’t before, now I had to be verifiably out of my mind.

 I shrugged even though there was no one around. Fuck it. Better than Tamlin, right?

Three and a half hours later, I had run out of music and podcasts to listen to. I couldn’t forget that the last time I’d driven home, he’d been with me. How had my love life gotten so screwed up? While my swimming had improved, and my major change was forthcoming, the romance area of my life was still an utter disaster. 

Unfortunately, one of the classic rock songs Rhys had selected on our past drive chose that moment to click on. As the lyrics filled the car, instead of turning the volume down, I blasted it as loud as it could go. Rolled my windows down. And let myself wallow the rest of the way home. 

It was already seven o’clock by the time I made it to my place. I burst through the front door, weighed down by my suitcase, bags of gifts, and swim bag (I’d be training with my old team while home for the break). 

“Feyre!” Elain’s voice floated to me from the living area to my left. I dumped all my things right inside the door to hug her. What with finals and my Christmas training, I hadn’t seen her in a few weeks. While she hugged me, I glanced over my shoulder and had to force my mouth to remain shut. 

Damn. I’d forgotten Azriel was coming for Christmas. I loved Azriel, and I was so glad Elain had him (I repeated to myself for the thousandth time) but he was just another painful reminder that I was alone, and that both of my past boyfriends had chosen other, hotter, crazier girls over me. 

But I smiled and hugged Azriel tightly. Then Nesta, a little less tightly. And finally my father. Dad and I had spoken on the phone a couple of times since Thanksgiving. I think hearing about how upset I was over Rhys (I was sure Elain had told him a few things) made him worried over me, and he’d made a big effort to call this past month. I was genuinely happy to see him. 

“We just finished eating half an hour ago. We made a plate for you. It’s in the microwave.”

“Thanks, Dad.” 

“I’ll come with you,” Elain said, leaving Azriel behind.

As I sat at the table eating my dinner, Elain chattered away about how glad she was that Azriel was here, about how her finals had all gone really well, about how she was already looking forward to next semester, about how Dad and Azriel got along really well. I’d never heard her speak so much about herself in one go. It brought me so much joy for her that I thought I’d burst. I’d worried she wouldn’t find someone else, wouldn’t find purpose in her passion for nursing, for a much longer time after what Greyson did to her. 

Finally, she paused to draw breath. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been talking all about me for the past twenty minutes. How are you?” She probably didn’t notice, but her voice grew hushed when she asked how I was. Was this how Elain had felt after her breakup with Greyson? Everyone walking on eggshells around her, making sure they didn’t say anything to remind her too painfully of her ex?

I waved my hand, standing up to rinse my plate and place it in the dishwasher. “Oh, I’m fine. Four-point-oh again, and I just finished all my Gen Eds. Next semester I’ll start taking classes for whatever new major I choose.”

Elain frowned. “Okay, but you know I wasn’t asking about how school is going--even though I’m really proud of you for your grades and for having the courage to change your major. How was the move? Did you have to see him?”

I shook my head. “Move was fine. Mor was great. Haven’t spoken to Rhys since I ran into him at the Astrid Oaks leasing office.” I’d texted Elain the night that had occurred, including every detail of our encounter. Like Mor, Elain  insisted there was an explanation for Rhys’s behavior. I maintained that I wouldn’t be the one begging to hear that explanation, if it even existed. 

“Okay. You don’t want to talk about it. That’s fine. You know I just want you to be happy, though, right? Do whatever’s best for you?”

I nodded. “I know. Thanks Elain. And I expect to hear more about you and Azriel later.”

The grin that split her face was so bright it was blinding. “Later. Right now, I think everyone’s waiting for us to watch Star Wars or something with them.” 

------

At eleven o’clock that night, I sat next to my window at the top of the house, watching the snow fall. It was the first snow of the year, just in time for Christmas. I’d been worried it wouldn’t snow at all this year. 

It had been a nice rest of the evening with my family. We’d watched two Star Wars movies, pigging out on junk food the whole time. I’d had to almost crawl my way up all the staircases to my room when the end credits of our second movie had rolled. I’d merely shot Elain a suspicious look as she escorted Azriel very loudly into his separate bedroom. It was so painfully obvious, I was almost sure my father knew and was just letting us girls go to unnecessary great lengths to fruitlessly keep him out of the loop. 

My phone buzzed. A text from Mor. 

Mor: Feyre?

Me: Mor?

Mor: Do you trust me?

Me: Uh… yeah?

Mor: I need you to have an open mind for the next thirty minutes. 

Me: Okay. Why?

Mor: Look out your window. Love ya

It took me a second to process Mor’s text, realize that she really did want me to look out the window I was sitting next to, and then slowly turn my head to gaze into the black, snowy night outside.

Only I couldn’t see the black, snowy night anymore.

What I did see had me scrambling backwards, falling off the window seat and backing up five feet before I realized that the man crouched outside the window was Rhys.

I stood slowly as he jerked his head at the window latch, one of his eyebrows cocked in question. Shaking my head, I inched forward and eased the window open.

“We’re three stories up!” I hissed as Rhys stumbled onto the blue cushion of the window seat, tracking in snow as he did so. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” 

Rhys turned to close the window, then locked his gaze with mine. “I am out of my fucking mind, Feyre. Out of my mind for going this long without explaining why everything happened. Out of my mind for going this long without telling you I’m in love with you.”

Each of his words hit me like a blow. My first instinct was to speak. . . Say something, anything. But I held back. This was his rodeo. He was the one who needed to do the explaining. 

He looked at me as though expecting me to speak.

I placed my hands on my hips, widening my stance as I stared back at him. 

He took a deep breath and plunged on. “I’m out of my mind for not doing everything I could to be able to tell you why I couldn’t tell you why what happened even happened!”

“What?” I said.

He slumped onto the cushion. “Yeah, you’re right that didn’t make any fucking sense. Let me start at the beginning.”

“Okay.”

His head jerked up again, as though surprised I was acquiescing so easily.  But I was nothing if not true to what I’d been telling myself for the past month. I wasn’t gonna come crawling. He could do that. And he had.

I led him over to the fireplace, tossing him a blanket so he could warm up. Settling myself into one of my plush armchairs, I waited. 

“So, uh, the beginning. Right. Guess I’ll take the plunge.” 

And he did.

“I liked you as soon as I met you on that recruiting trip two years ago. You were so confident, sure of yourself, even if you didn’t think you were. You had fun at that party the upperclassmen decided to take the recruits to without falling prey to a bunch of older, ‘cooler’, students. I just… Tamlin himself wanted to hook up with you at that party. And hooking up with recruits is obviously a big no-no. And you stared him down in front of everyone at that party and told him to hit the road. 

“I’d just gotten out of a shitty relationship with… Amarantha… and had lost my sister,” his voice faltered for a moment and I had to restrain myself from reaching for him, “only a few months prior. Seeing how good you were, how strong, in an incredibly daunting situation. . . It blew my mind. My favorite girl in the world had just died, and my least favorite girl in the world was the only one I’d ever really dated. I’d lost all hope and there you were, right in front of me. 

“You didn’t glance at me twice the whole night, but during the few conversations we had I knew you were intelligent, and well-rounded, and not an empty-headed athlete that some are. 

“And so I spent the whole year forgetting about you. I didn’t date anyone my freshman year. Not because I was obsessive or anything--I’m not a creep, I swear--but because I had never met someone like you before. Someone so sure of their values. I couldn’t compare you to anyone… Amarantha especially. I couldn’t get the idea of you, a seventeen-year-old girl having the guts to party with a bunch of college kids and not bow down to peer pressure. You know I disapprove of a lot of the shit that goes on with the team during the season--especially all the sleeping around and not worrying about who it could hurt. I’m just not built to do things like that. 

“And when you arrived a year later, you jumped straight into that relationship with Tamlin. I was so thrown off. I couldn’t understand why you could be with someone like that. I do now,” he added quickly, seeing my expression. “But I was nineteen! I was dumb--couldn’t figure it out. I know he was what you needed at the time. 

“Anyways. Moving past that. 

“It was when I saw you train from across the pool, never backing down, putting up with Tamlin and Ianthe’s shit, day after day… It was then that I started to love you.”

I couldn’t prevent the sharp intake of breath I took when he said that. 

And when I realized I wanted to repeat those same words back to him. To Rhys, who’d loved me for so long without ever pushing himself on me, without trying to force me into anything I wasn’t ready for, who’d encouraged me through one of the darkest times of my life.

“And ever since the beginning of this year, when something shifted between you and your friends, I’ve been worried sick about you. Finally worked up the courage to talk to you at the Halloween party, offer to drive you home, get you the hell away from the cheating bastard. 

“And then Amarantha happened.” His hands twisted in his lap. He was staring straight into the fire now. 

“I’ve never told anyone this… At least, I hadn’t told anyone else this until about two hours ago. Remember how I said everyone thought I dated Amarantha to get through my sister’s cancer?” He glanced at me.

I nodded.

“I dated her because… because she knew something, and insisted I stay with her if I didn’t want anyone to find out.”

I glanced up sharply.

“I went on one date with Amarantha before I knew we weren’t compatible. One date. After that date, I was ready to tell her I wasn’t interested, kind of let it work itself out into nothing, you know? 

“And then. . .” He trailed off. 

“Rhys?”

“Right before I drove here, I told Mor everything I am about to tell you right now. I want you to know she gave me full consent to say all of this to you.”

Ah, so this explained her texts. I nodded. “Okay.”

“Mor’s gay, Feyre.”

I blinked. 

“She’s not out, isn’t ready. She didn’t even know I knew until two hours ago. But back in high school, right before Amarantha and I started going out, Amarantha spied Mor making out with another girl in a car, at a mall twenty miles outside of town. Amarantha told me as much after I told her I didn’t things would work out between us. 

“And I knew that if Mor hadn’t told me, she didn’t want anyone to know. No one at school knew. Her family didn’t know. ”

My vision blurred. I blinked rapidly.

“So when Amarantha insinuated that she’d spill Mor’s secret if I broke things off with her, I realized I had no choice.” 

And now I could see that he was crying, too. His hands twisting faster and faster in his lap. He hadn’t looked at me for at least the past five minutes.

“I couldn’t let that happen to Mor. Mor, who was so happy, all the time, always lifting people up. The girl everyone thought was the height of confidence. That girl didn’t feel comfortable enough to share something that was such a big part of her identity. And that’s always her choice, of course, and I would never want her to come out before she was ready. And that’s why I stayed with Amarantha. 

“I won’t go into detail about everything that happened,” he swiped at the smattering of tears he’d let fall. “Amarantha broke up with me the day after my sister died. And for some reason that didn’t even feel like a weight off my chest. It was supposed to, but coupled with burying my sister a few days after that… I’d never felt so alone. And Amarantha loved that by leaving me at the worst point in my life, she’d be ensuring the fact that I would feel so alone.” 

“So when I arrived home at Thanksgiving, with you, both of us happy to be together, and Amarantha saw it. . . Her personality could not allow her to just let me be happy, let me be with another girl. So while we were at the club--she was sober, by the way, and I was definitely not, if that counts for anything--she brought it all back up. Told me she’d walk in there and tell all Mor’s friends the truth if I didn’t give it one more go with her.”

A few more tears slid down his face and I knelt on the carpet in front of him, placing one hand on his knee. 

“And it’s not an excuse Feyre. But I had no idea what to do. I would never, ever cheat on you for my own sick kind of pleasure or something. And what I did was wrong. I was too intoxicated to think clearly, to find some sort of other solution. I didn’t want to ambush Mor and tell her I knew the truth. I didn’t think it would be fair. And apparently that was stupid of me, too, because when I told her tonight she bawled her eyes out and told me she would’ve come out to the whole high school over the intercom if she’d known what Amarantha was doing to me. So I’m just an idiot, but I’m an idiot who loves you, and if there’s anything I can do to convince you to believe me, to, gods forbid, to forgive me--”

Restraint was impossible now, and I flung myself at him, straddling his hips with my legs. And he went still as death as I kissed every one of his tears away. 

When I finished doing that, I pressed a kiss to his forehead, my hands resting on his shoulders. His thumbs lightly, so lightly, slid just underneath my shirt to rest on the skin above the waistband of my pajama shorts. “I love you too, you idiot,” I whispered.

My words unleashed him. His touch went from light to firm, his hands gripping my waist and pulling me as close to him as possible. His mouth found mine and our tears mingled as his tongue swept across mine. 

“You really--” He broke off as I covered his mouth with mine again, unwilling to be separated from him for a moment longer. He pulled back. “You believe me?”

I brought my hands up to cup his cheeks, slide them down his shoulders to his chest. “Of course I do.” 

He stood up swiftly then, his mouth locking against mine, his hands gripping my ass. I could feel him hard against me as he strode for the bed, laying me softly on top of it. He stood there for a second, looking at me. Smiling. 

“Let’s not waste time,” I hissed, grabbing the neck of his t-shirt and pulling him down on top of me. 

And later, when he paused to ask me, “Are you sure?” as he hovered above me, both sets of our clothing in piles on the floor around the bed, I nodded. “Yes,” I breathed. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

--------------------

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@queen-of-glass​ @aknymph​ @sleeping-and-books​ @fabfire​ 

[rcncgaades]

↪ brief introduction to prudence eaton.

BASICS

full name: prudence camryn eaton.  nickname(s): prue, percy ( vastly preferred ). age: twenty-eight. date of birth: 19 october 1992. zodiac sign: libra. place of birth: blackpool, lancashire, england, united kingdom. ethnicity: white. nationality: british. gender: cis female. sexual orientation: homosexual. romantic orientation: homoromantic. religion: she was raised in a protestant household but her family was never all that tied to actively practicing religion and it was never something percy considered all that important to her day-to-day life. as an adult she’s definitely more agnostic leaning than anything. education: bachelors of science in zoology ( university of derby ), masters in biodiversity, evolution & conservation ( university college london ), dphil in zoology ( university of oxford ). occupation: research zoologist & wildlife photographer.  language(s) spoken: english ( primarily ), french, german, russian, polish ( learned to the point of being able to carry on conversations during research projects across continental europe ). accent: she has a thick and immediately apparent northern english accent. she hasn’t lived in the united states for a significant period of time and it doesn’t take anyone more than a word or two to realize percy isn’t american.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

face claim: amelia eve. hair color: blonde ( she dyes it brown on occasion but for the most part it’s blonde ). eye color: green.  height: 5′3″. weight: 120 lbs. build: slim, athletic. tattoos: an intricate tattoo of a lion on her back ( here ), a half sleeve flower themed tattoo on her left arm ( here ), a small tattoo on the inside of her right bicep of the sun rising/falling over the ocean inspired by a drawing her baby brother gave her when they were children ( here ). piercings: she has traditional ear piercings in her firsts and seconds, she has a nose ring in her left nostril; she had an eyebrow piercing for a long while but took it out when she began guest lecturing and occasionally teaching in earnest– it’s healed up since then. distinguishing characteristics: her accent, how bright and warm she is, her tattoos & piercings, how smart she is ( or so she’s been told by many, many people after speaking to them for all of five minutes ).

PERSONALITY

label: the adventurer. positive traits: adventurous, articulate, brilliant, charismatic, charming, compassionate, considerate, dedicated, earnest, empathetic, forgiving, genuine, hardworking, intuitive, loyal, passionate, sociable, sweet, warm. negative traits: ambitious, competitive, proud, sarcastic, stubborn. assertive, boisterous, excitable, haughty, obsessive, possessive, silly, superstitious. goals/desires: to make a positive impact on her community, to live a better life as an adult than she did as a child, to spend the rest of her life doing things she loves, to fall happily in love. fears: failure, proving to everyone where she grew up that she’s just as useless as they’d always claimed, disappointing her little brother, never seeing either of her brothers again, becoming anything like the worst parts of her parents. hobbies: spending time with her family, smoking ( both weed and tobacco cigarettes ), cooking, baking, gardening when she has the time to do it and the weather’s right for it, hiking, reading, doing research of almost any kind, spending time with her friends, going out– drinking, dancing, anything that lets her be social, watching nature documentaries, listening to podcasts, playing video games, learning new things, knitting, sex.   quirks: she talks with her hands extensively, she self-corrects out loud if she uses british slang for something rather than the american equivalent, she rarely raises her voice for any reason at all, she can rattle off her favorite animals and fun facts about them at any given moment with no preparation whatsoever, she almost always has some pop song or another stuck in her head and can be heard humming it until she remembers the words. likes: animals of all kinds, mystery novels, nature documentaries, david attenborough, expensive liquor, pot brownies, baked goods of almost every kind, horror movies, music, flowers, being around people, sex, flirting, star wars, most marvel movies, rpg based video games, podcasts, true crime documentaries, her little brother, being a chef, learning anything new, talking to people about things they’re passionate about, her adopted parents & family. dislikes: her older brother, her childhood, people who don’t respect her & the hard work that’s gone into getting her to where she is in life, dark chocolate, milk, toxic people, accidentally killing plants, being alone for long periods of time, boredom, people who pick fights just to pick fights, bigots.

FAMILY

father: simon james ‘sj’ garrick ( biological ). mark william eaton ( adopted ). mother: claire ophelia ashby ( biological ). rose katherine eaton née prescott ( adopted ). sibling(s): jack charles garrick ( older ) & thomas rupert eaton ( younger ). michael andrew eaton ( older, adopted ). pet(s): a bernese mountain dog named jason & an australian cattle dog named piper.  financial status: upper middle class.

BIOGRAPHY

( TW: teenage pregnancy, infidelity, drug use, overdose )

By all accounts— by every metric Percy could use to quantify the fact as an adult— Simon Garrick and Claire Ashby had never been ready to be parents. Was anyone ever really ready to be a parent? It was a question Percy had asked herself constantly as she’d gotten older but it had never been her place to judge– her parents hadn’t done her any favors but for at least some time they had tried to be present and helpful and Percy could never fault them for that. Blackpool– a seaside resort town on the English coast– had been home to Simon and Claire as long as they both could remember but they had remained strangers to one another until they met through a mutual friend when they were seventeen years old. The attraction had been immediate– a spark neither of them were prepared to deal with but allowed to catch and ignite the moment they met, an encounter that resulted in an unplanned pregnancy and a great deal of responsibility neither of them wanted staring them both in the face. Simon dropped out of sixth form promptly to begin working in earnest and provide for the family he certainly hadn’t expected to have but was willing to work to support nonetheless; Claire, after informing her parents, remained in school at her parents’ request though their relationship became strained from that moment on.

When Jack was born the couple was delighted— Simon took to being a father rather quickly and seemed to enjoy it while Claire was an absent mother at best in spite of Simon’s many attempts to help her feel more present in their son’s life. It was no secret to anyone at all that Claire was cheating on Simon with what was rumored to be every eligible man in Blackpool and though Simon was heartbroken by the rumors and the confidence he felt in their truthfulness– he never brought the issue up with Claire– choosing instead to look after their son and try to hold their family together as best he could. It was yet another accident that marked Claire’s second pregnancy when Jack was five and though Simon wasn’t even reasonably confident that the child was his he again prepared himself to be a father as best he possibly could. Percy was born on a cool October morning and from the moment she uttered her first cry her father was devoted to her and for the first time her mother dove headfirst into caring for both of her children with a zeal she’d never demonstrated prior.

Though they were on the poorer side they were happy for a great deal of Percy’s initial childhood and seemed to be primed to be that much happier when Claire found out she was pregnant with her third child when Percy was seven. It was yet more of the same in the Garrick-Ashby household until Tommy was around two and Claire eloped with a family friend and informed Simon plainly that she couldn’t handle being stuck in a dead end town with a dead end life and three children she hadn’t wanted in the first place. Simon was devastated but for the first year or two following Claire’s departure he managed to hold both himself and the family together rather well. Percy– already a brilliant girl intellectually and a spot of sunshine in the world as far as her father was concerned– began to help around the house to take some of the worry away from her father even going so far as to look after her baby brother whenever she wasn’t at school. Jack, who was sixteen, more or less stopped coming home and though Percy was aware he was essentially living with a friend’s across town she considered his absence in her life nothing short of abandonment and even as an adult holds a deep resentment towards him for that fact.

Things for the Garrick family began to unravel slowly— Simon began to spend what money he earned from work on cocaine and other drugs– he was still present and still loving but Percy found herself more and more becoming a parent to Tommy rather than a sister. When she was twelve Simon’s habits escalated to a rather expensive heroin addiction that Percy could hardly process, let alone deal with and though she tried her best to raise her brother and herself it was difficult for a child to raise another child. She was nearly thirteen when she came home from school with Tommy in tow to find their father had overdosed in their kitchen— an overdose that would, even after her frantic call to emergency services, eventually lead to his death. Without extended family to look after them and with Jack’s refusal to take on the responsibility of raising siblings he hardly knew both Percy and Tommy became wards of court.

Percy– already with a reputation for being a brilliant student– threw herself into her studies with that much more zeal as she and Tommy adjusted to life with their first foster family; her IQ was tested and she was placed into progressively more advanced courses until she was taking university classes part-time by the time she entered year eleven. Her foster parents supported her fully and there was frequent talk of adoption for both herself and Tommy— who was easily the most important person in her life bar none. She was very nearly eighteen by the time the adoption paperwork was processed and both she and Tommy were officially members of the Eaton family. Though she was reluctant to leave Tommy behind when she’d been his primary caregiver for so many years prior to being placed with their adoptive family it was the encouragement of her adoptive parents Mark and Rose that finally reassured Percy to the point of feeling comfortable applying to universities about as far away from Blackpool as she could get without leaving the country. Higher education was a world of splendor for Percy who had always been so fiercely curious and sharply intelligent– she finished her undergraduate degree six months earlier than most of his graduating class before moving on to study further.

Animals and zoology had been passions of hers from the moment she visited a zoo for the first time on an outing with her parents when she was still very young. She was fascinated by animals of all sorts and wanted to know everything about how to care for them and preserve the environments they called home. It seemed the logical choice for her to follow her chosen course of study as far as she could-- and when she was twenty-six she walked away from Cambridge with a degree in zoology to her name and several research positions made available to her over the whole of continental Europe and beyond if she chose to take them. Traveling across Europe to do the thing she loved more than anything in the world was a gift Percy had never had any inkling of taking advantage of and she eventually began to give guest lectures at universities in major cities near her work sites as well as develop a passion for photography she found delightful to explore when she was researching in far away countries she’d never imagined even seeing as a child. When her research positions drew closer to their deadlines and the projects she’d been working on were finalized she began to search for another place to call home-- eventually settling on Turtle Bay due largely in part to the fact that Tommy had found his way to the area for college and Percy couldn’t think of anything more delightful than doing work she loved with her little brother at her side-- even if the work is a bit more sporadic than she’d like-- she’s always been able to look on the bright side of things and she doesn’t see that changing.

[thedetectivessay]

New Detective on the Block

a.k.a new series regular wishlist

Sadly, it seems like we're really not going to have Detective Ahn come back. With Seunggi not being part of the regular cast either, we're left with just six members.

Six isn't bad given that Kwangsoo won't leave us again. 2 Days 1 Night, for one, functions well with six.

Still, seven is just the special number. It just seems more complete, stronger. Plus, Cho PD and Myuk PD really did wonders with seven cast members when they were in charge of Running Man.

So, below is a list of South Korean stars who I think might do well as the new member and one of K's detectives.

Song Jihyo

age: 37 [August 15, 1981]

variety experience: 12 YEARS

• Family Outing, 2008 (guest)

• Running Man, 2010-present (regular cast member)

• Pajama Friends, 2018-2019 (regular cast member)

why she would make for a good cast member:

• Two of the PDs are familiar with her since they've worked together during their Running Man days. (Also: she seems to be good friends with Myuk PD's family!) It'd be an easy transition for them.

• Jaesuk and Kwangsoo had worked with her for years, and she can bring their dynamics into the show.

• Both Sehun and Sejeong have worked with her before as well. She might be a good mentor for the two of them! I think she would take Sejeong under her wings wholeheartedly, and she would be a good noona to Sehun. She will take good care of them should she join the cast.

• This is a bit selfish, but I really am curious how she and Jongmin will interact. I think that's a legendary brOTP just waiting to happen.

• Because of her experience, not only can she roll with the punches of this new format, she can also be counted on to bring more of the variety flavor that can truly enrich the show.

• Jihyo apparently graduated with an accounting major, which means she might be able to help with the math puzzles!

potential downside:

× The team might become too OP (overpowered). Jihyo's instincts are impeccable; it's very rare that she won't win a game. Add that to the speed, wit, intelligence, and sharp observation skills of the other members, we're looking at a very formidable team of detectives (albeit clumsy and goofy still).

× It's possible that she would overshadow Minyoung a bit - a bit - for a couple of reasons.

Cha Taehyun

age: 44 [March 25, 1976]

variety experience: 21 YEARS (!!)

• Family Camp, 1998 (host)

• Happy Saturday, 1998 (host)

• Campus Song Festival, 2002-2003 (host)

• MNet KM Music Festival, 2000-2001, 2003 (host)

• 2 Days 1 Night, 2012-2019 (regular cast member)

• Dragon Club, 2017 (regular cast member)

• Radio Star, 2018-2019 (host)

• Where on Earth?, 2018 (regular cast member)

• Seoul Bumpkin, ???

why he would make for a good cast member:

• I mean, look at the man's experience in the field of variety shows.

• He and Jongmin are good friends. They've worked with each other for years also in 2 Days 1 Night. They've established a good relationship, which might be nice to see continue again in the show.

• Jaesuk has met him before when he visited RM. The only thing is that they're both the leader position of their shows (Jaesuk for Running Man, Taehyun for 2 Days 1 Night), but it's not likely that they'll clash. Taehyun works well with other people, and he's not one to hog the spotlight.

It actually might be very interesting to see him and Jaesuk work with each other.

• He's friends with Kwangsoo in real life, too.

• Like all of the people in this list, he's an actor. It's the position that Jaewook is leaving behind. Our seven is made up for three variety veterans (JS, JM, and KS), two actors (JW and MY), and two singer-actors (SH and SJ).

Taehyun can fill in the open spot nicely.

potential downside:

× Though he seems to have been forgiven by many, the "gambling" scandal still follows him a bit. I've got a feeling that it won't be such a big deal for the western audience (and maybe even for some of the eastern audience), but you know. At the end of the day, South Korean viewers seem to be more important to k-variety showrunners than the rest of us are.

I really, REALLY want Taehyun to be considered as Jaewook's replacement, but if the SK people say something about it, chances are he'll get passes over.

Joo Sangwook

age: 41 [July 18, 1978]

variety experience: ~2 YEARS

• Qualifications of Men, 2012-2013 (regular cast member)

• Running Man, 2012, 2013/14? (guest)

• Infinite Challenge, 2015 (guest)

• The Fishermen and the Village, 2019, 2020 (guest)

why he would make for a good cast member:

• Though Sangwook is a phenomenal actor, he doesn't seem to be the kind to shy away from doing variety shows. When he's on one, he does the job with passion. He also doesn't neglect having a good time.

• Have you heard him laugh? It's fantastic. It makes you laugh, too. It can be his signature should he become a Project D detective.

• He has a goofy side to him that I think would be fun to see again.

potential downside:

× He might be too bright a star for the show. While he could be fun, he could overshadow everyone else in the team.

× He might not gel well with others. He works pretty okay with Jaesuk and Kwangsoo, but with the rest... It might get very awkward.

× Very busy man.

Park Boyoung

age: 30 [February 12, 1990]

variety experience: 13 YEARS

** there are so many guest appearances throughout the years in both TV and radio, so let's just consider some relevant ones **

• Law of the Jungle, 2013 (cast member)

• 2 Days 1 Night, 2015 (guest)

• Running Man, 2012, '14, '16, '17, '18(?) (guest)

why she would make for a good cast member:

• First off, yes - she's currently on a hiatus right now because she needs rest due to the surgery she had. BUT, Season 4, should we have one, won't really be in the works 'til, what, maybe late 2021? She'll have plenty of time to recover.

• Boyoung is so bubbly! And she's so energetic. She puts her heart into the things she does. I know that we kind of risk having two Sejeongs in the team, but look - Sejeong is absolutely fun, okay? It'd be nice if she can have someone who can share her same enthusiasm for the games and the cases.

• She's worked with Jaesuk, Jongmin, and Kwangsoo before, so it won't be super awkward.

• Okay, full disclosure: I also kind of want her in the team because she's one of Kwangsoo's best friends in real life. Their dynamic would be absolutely fun to watch because they're not very shy about teasing each other.

• Like Kwangsoo, she seems to be one of Netflix's favorites also. It'd be nice if she'd be in their original variety show, too.

potential downside:

× Nothing, really. She seems so sweet, and her fans seem like they're (mostly) understanding and supportive of her endeavors.

Maybe the only thing to watch out for are the opinionated internet trolls who always feel like they should have a say on what these people do with their lives and their careers 🙄

Lee Yuri

age: 40 [January 28, 1980]

variety experience: ~8 YEARS

• Food Essay, 2012 (host)

• Bright Solutionists, 2013 (host)

• Quiz to Change the World, 2014-2015 (host)

• Single Wife, 2017-2018 (cast member)

• Stars' Top Recipe at Fun-staurant, 2020 (cast member)

why she would make for a good cast member:

• Don't let Yuri's pretty face, pretty hair, and pretty clothes fool you. She's not one of your typical South Korean actresses who's very conscious of how she looks even in the sometimes downright dirty and unglamorous arena of k-variety shows. As she's proven through a guest star gig in Running Man, if she needs to wade and jump through the mud to play the game, she will.

To her, what's important is getting the job done and winning the game. Looking good comes second to victory.

• Speaking of, she's pretty competitive. I think she and Sehun can really amp the team up and get them going faster during the different cases. Plus, she might be great to have around when they're going against the Genius Detective Team ('cause let's be honest: errbody know they'll be coming back).

potential downside:

× I can't get a proper gauge on how she would feel with a project like this. The potential con might be that we're not sure she'd stay on as a regular cast member.

• • •

These are the ones on the list for now. Will edit more later if I find more.

For the meantime, do you have specific SK actors you think would be perfect in the team?

[iredreamer]

Thanks for all your GJ commentary! I wonder if you could say something about the scene when Anne tells Ann what Rev. Ainsworth did to her. First, to me it's fairly clear that it wasn't consensual - she says "I told him I didn't want to" twice and "I never encouraged him," but I've seen a couple of recappers say he "seduced" her or that it was ambiguous?

Second, all of the beats of Ann’s response fascinate me - from her wanting to maintain some emotional distance (she starts off angry at Anne, after all) to moving to comfort her, and then becoming more and more angry on Anne’s behalf. But I wanted to point out that when she asks “Were you connected?” (i.e. did penetrative rape occur), Suranne Jones somehow managed to shed her first tear during that question. Both SJ and SR’s performances were amazing, but that one moment got me especially.

anonymous asked: I LOVE your gifs and scene analysis for GJ! No one I know has seen it so I can’t talk about with anyone, but reading your stuff is just as good. I was hoping you could gif and/or give your thoughts on a moment that really touched me and made me think. In episode 4 when Anne was comforting Ann about what Ainesworth had done, when she asked Ann how far he went with her, we see her crying too as if in empathy for Ann. I thought it was beautiful and want to know your thoughts?

First of all thank you you two for your messages

I know your asks focus on the second half of the scene, but I just wanna briefly touch on the first half too (lol at me saying “briefly”… this turned out long af) – by the way, it’s so hard to break down this scene, there are so many things happening and so many layers my brain will combust but I’ll try.

I love, just love, how mad Anne is. We can understand so much about her and her philosophy of life and how one should live it. I love her body language, she can’t keep still, she’d trash the room if she could, she finds a little relief in throwing that little box in a careless manner, she’s disheveled after that walk and she’s tired, she’s mad, and she wants answers, real ones this time. As soon as she hears the door, she’s ready to say all that is on in her mind. She doesn’t even notice that Ann had probably been crying all day.

“I would have known what to do with a yes or a no, but this? What am I supposed to do with this? I mean, do you think, do you really think that I’m someone to have my future happiness decided by fate?”

And, wow, behind this line there is just so much to unpack! Anne Lister, someone who has always lived her life in the truest most honest way, choosing every day to walk the hardest path, of course is pissed when AW leaves to fate a big decision like that. And AL doesn’t want fate to decide Ann Walker’s future either. She wants to hear that “yes” from AW’s lips, from AW’s heart, she wants AW to be sure of wanting her and wanting to be with her. The contrast is just striking, Ann Walker prefers to leave her future to fate, Anne Lister thinks that everyone should determine their own destiny. She would never take AW just because there’s a “yes” written on a stupid piece of paper. And she says it “Well, I’m taking it as a no” - “If you can’t choose, if you don’t have the courage to say yes to me, well then, it’s no, I’d never take someone who isn’t sure.” If it’s not a yes then it’s not a yes, it doesn’t matter to her that “it isn’t a no” – “Well, it isn’t a yes!”

[y’all this turned out long af so…more under the cut]

AW tries to get closer, she takes a few steps forward but it’s impossible to get nearer to AL, she just doesn’t care that it isn’t a “no” [and let me just say that the camera movement on Ann Walker is spot on, you can feel the insecurity, the instability and nervousness of the situation, just look, LOOK!!!].

Look at AW’s panic in that moment. We know by now that Ann Walker has been in love with Anne Lister for 15 years, and in this moment, when AL angrily says “Well, it isn’t a yes”, AW realizes that she could seriously lose Anne – AW can’t say “yes” to her, and not because she doesn’t want to but because she thinks she’s “not fit to say yes”, at the same time she can’t explain to AL why she can’t say yes because if she does, she’ll lose her – this is what Ann Walker is thinking, this is what she has been thinking for the whole episode, she doesn’t want to say the truth and explain to AL what is going on because she’s sure, she’s so sure, that AL will leave her if she tells her what happened. But, is she not losing her now anyway? So what else does she have to lose?

She still keeps quiet tho, and it’s AL who, looking for an explanation, finally asks the right question (even if the answer might hurt her) “Will you accept him?” – “I don’t want to but…” – “But…what?” And… oh god, the way she screams that “What?” gets me every time. She scares me a little. She was mad before but the anger and the frustration in that “What?” are on a whole new level.

The way she closes her eyes, the way she screams, the anger of that “What” that is shaking her body even if she’s staying still (so in contrast with how we’ve seen her act till this point, moving around, opening her arms, talking with her whole body). She’s desperate to know what is going on with Ann, what Ann is not telling her, what is she keeping from her? What?

Ann Walker breaks down, she has to tell the truth. It’s time. And here we are anon, the moment Anne softens (for the first time). I love how in this moment you can seen on Anne Lister’s face how torn she is [Suranne is really expressive I love her], she’s suffering but she understands that she has to push her pain aside, she has to be there for AW, this is not the right moment to be mad – even tho she is – and so she tries to manage her anger and her pain to be there for AW and try to understand what is really going on.

Anne Lister has worked on herself, for years, to finally be the person she is and be able to have such a deep understanding and control of herself and her emotions (something Ann Walker is just now learning to do). She’s an observer, she can read AW’s feelings really well, and she’s mature enough to understand when it’s time to be angry and when it’s time to manage that anger. She will not make Ann feel worse than what she already feels, she will not fight with her just to feel a temporary relief (in the next episode we’ll see how Ann Walker hurts Anne Lister without even realizing it just because she’s saying everything that comes up in her mind without giving it a serious thought, and I love this contrast, I love how different they are from each other).

AL lowers herself, she puts herself on AW’s level, she’s not towering over her anymore – this is so important for what happens later, after Ann Walker says she’s been indiscreet with Ainsworth – so, the power shifts, Anne Lister is ready to listen. Her walls are down. [Just let me rant for a sec inside these square brackets… this is like, one of the things I love the most about them and about this show, the way this fuuucking series plays with levels and physical positioning to show the shift of power between the Ann(e)s is so good I might have an orgasm every time it happens, I’m not even kidding.] AL takes her time before touching AW, she is still mad and after all she had been shouting at her just moments before.

Look how careful she is and how carefully she chooses where and how to touch her to comfort her – “Ann.” – Ann, on the other hand, is totally in her head, already thinking the worst. When AW doesn’t respond to AL’s touch, AL gets closer, takes AW’s face in her hands and makes her look at her. She has to look her in the eyes, she has to be sure that AW knows that she’s there for her and that she’s ready to listen to her and find a solution to whatever is hurting her so bad – “Ann, talk to me. We’re adults. Nothing can be this bad.” – “I’ll never see you again. If I tell you the truth, you won’t want anything to do with me.” – And here it is, Ann Walker’s greatest fear. Losing Anne.

“It’s him. The Reverend Ainsworth. I’ve been Indiscreet with him.“

Oh oh.

See? See how the power shifts between them? AL is getting up because she doesn’t want to be understanding anymore, not after that confession. She stands up, dominating AW in the only way she can, physically. She is shocked and hurt, more hurt than before. Didn’t AW say to her that she “felt a repugnance towards forming any sort of connection with a man”? So what is the truth? Did she lie? Or there’s more to it? And clearly there’s more to it…

The way Ann Walker explains what happened with Ainsworth is messy, yes, because she is upset, and she goes back and forth with what she says. She starts saying she’s been indiscreet with him, that he loved her, that he wanted to marry her and while she’s talking about all this she says: “And I didn’t want to but I didn’t know how to say no”, she continues talking about the letter and then she goes back talking about Ainsworth… so… my point is, her monologue is messy, and it can be confusing (even Anne Lister is confused, look at her face in that moment, trying to make sense of everything AW is saying to truly understand what’s the meaning of it). But, I think, there’s not doubt that it was a rape, I think it’s crystal clear > Ann Walker says: “I didn’t want to” and “I never encouraged him” – “I told him I didn’t want to, but then he just managed situations that he was alone with me, either here when they visited or there at their house.” – So I have no doubts about this.

In real life it seems that she wasn’t raped and apparently she never had sex with Ainsworth, they just kissed, so, to answer your question anon, maybe that’s from where the confusion about this scene starts, but I don’t think the scene itself is ambiguous at all, he never seduced her, that’s not what he did, he manipulated her.

The way Anne Lister stays calm and controls herself from this moment on fucking kills me because she’s dying inside y’all, she’s dying, the fact that AW has been with a man fucking kills her and she’s pushing all her pain aside because she understands that the pain AW is feeling is much greater and she needs to be there for her. She’s been holding back her tears from the moment AW said “I’ve never encouraged him”… I CANT

“Do do you understand? You understand the problem? He’s had Intimate knowledge of me.“

And here, right here, is where Ann Walker is saying to AL that he forced himself on her – that she can’t say “yes” to her because she’s been with someone else – “Do you understand? You understand the problem?” – AW knows she’s not being very explicit, she probably can’t bring herself to be more explicit than that and a part of her probably thinks he had every right to act how he did (let’s not forget we’re in the 19th century), but she wants AL to understand, she wants AL to know that she didn’t have a choice. And AL does understand.

She sits beside Ann. The power shifts again, AL’s putting her walls down again. I love the fact that Ann Walker has her walls down the whole time during their confrontation while AL keeps pulling them down and putting them back up, consciously deciding when to maintain an emotional distance and when to be more open [which is good y’all, learn from Anne Lister, self preservation is a great quality].

So, now, the dialogue that breaks my little lesbian hopeless romantic heart…

The time AL takes before talking is so important, she’s almost studying AW, thinking how to approach the subject. She needs answers to all the questions she has… And this brings me back to the flirty scene in episode 3, where Anne Lister playfully asks Ann Walker if she has ever kissed anyone or if she has ever wanted to. The contrast is devastating. I don’t know if this scene is supposed to mirror that one, but I can’t deny that in my mind the two are linked, whenever I watch this scene I think about that one and whenever I watch that one I think about this one. There’s something in how the whole conversation is written, AL asking questions, AW not answering in an explicit way, or again the way this scene totally changes the meaning of AW’s reticence in answering AL’s questions in episode 3…

“Intimate how?” – “Kissing?” – “Touching?” – AW can’t even bring herself to answer, she can’t even bring herself to look at Anne. And oh god, the way AL looks at AW right before asking if she and Ainsworth have been connected is heartbreaking. She doesn’t want to know, but at the same time she has to know. I love how AL is basically putting everything in order here, AW has already said all of this in her confusing monologue and now AL is asking clear straightforward questions to be sure to understand what really happened with Ainsworth and what didn’t.

And well, I think she’s not only crying in empathy for AW, I think she’s crying for herself too. She hates that AW has been with someone else before, it hurts her. I really think there’s not just one way to explain her tears, I think for sure she feels the pain AW is feeling (and this is clear from the way she acts, and from how quickly she changed her manners when Ann started crying) but I also think it is not just a selfless, completely sympathetic crying. She’s crying for herself, she’s crying because she’s hurt.

and OH mY GOD!! SURANNE WITH HER FUCKING TEARS I CANT SHE’S A MASTER IN CRYING I SWEAR TO GOD THE WAY SHE SHEDS SINGLE TEARS ON THIS SHOW I’M– I DIDN’T EVEN THINK THIS WAS HUMANLY POSSIBLE BUT HEY-OH WOW BITCH HER GAME IS STRONG GIVE HER ALL THE AWARDS EMMY BAFTA OSCAR EVERYTHING

Okay, so, the scene doesn’t end here (as we all know), but this is long af so I think I’m gonna just say a couple more things and then end this analysis or whatever this is…

My absolute favorite bit is this one: 

I love the way AL caresses AW’s face, the contrast of her delicacy and the anger and pain that she’s feeling and that we can clearly see in her expression just breaks my heart. She’s trying to be caring and loving and sweet and supportive with AW even if that’s not what she’s feeling at all. She says “You were under his protection, in his house, and he took advantage of you.” and it’s like she’s seeing what happened at that time, in that house. She’s not calm, she’s angry, hurt, but she tries not to show it because she has to be there for AW, she has to be strong for her (let’s also say that she kinda fails because it’s clear how upset she is about the whole thing, and AW notices it – “You’re shouting. You’re cross”). I love this bit because AL is just so protective but at the same time looks so hurt and I– I don’t know, I just love it. I love how her chin is trembling, I love how her hand is slightly shaking, I love how she’s trying to control her body but she just can’t because what AW just told her upset her too much.

Another thing I really love – and that makes me really sad too – is AW saying that if she had someone like AL in her life things like that would have never happened. It’s amazing how that line brings us back to episode 1 and 2, to Dr Kenny, to Anne Lister being so quick to notice how his presence and manners irritated AW.

So, I hope I answered your questions and that you enjoyed reading my thoughts about this scene and yes, this is it, love u bye :*

[dailyaudiobible]

11/28/2020 DAB Transcript

Daniel 5:1-31, 2 Peter 2:1-22, Psalms 119:113-128, Proverbs 28:19-20

Today is the 28th day of November welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is great to be here with you today as we bring another one of our weeks together to a close and then make the final push through the end of this month and into the next month, which is the last month of the year. But we’re here and we’re here now and our next step forward will lead us back into the book of Daniel. We’re reading from the New International Version this week. Daniel chapter 5.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and once again we find ourselves closing down a week and looking forward. And once again in that practice, looking back, looking forward and being right here where we are, we get a glimpse of this thread of redemption that has always been a part of our story. You have always been here, and You are at work in our lives. Sometimes we want You to be at work in our lives and want some sort of instantaneous thing to happen when Your work in our lives is the work of transformation, of remaking us, of sanctifying us. And this is a process that takes place over time. And, so, we find ourselves at little places that mark time, like the end of a week or the beginning of a week and we take the time to acknowledge this, that things are happening. When we look back to the beginning of the year and we zoom forward until this present moment things are happening, You are at work in our lives. This is how it works. And, so, we open our hearts and say continue the work. Continue the good work that You have begun in us. Transform us so that our will, aligns with Your will, so that our desires are things that You desire. And, so, often when we say things like that it's about big things that we’re fighting, maybe lust, or greed, or envy, or whatever we’re fighting, but to have our desires be aligned with Your desires is that we look through the eyes of love at everyone that we encounter. Come Holy Spirit, help us to be Your image bearers on this earth we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

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And it's…I guess its officially Christmas time around here, the holiday shopping season, all of the stuff that goes into…into the season itself is upon us. And, so, it's the same here. I mentioned yesterday the Daily Audio Bible Shop is definitely full of items for the journey that we are on and there’s wonderful items there to give away and there’s wonderful items there to hold onto for yourself. And normally we have a Christmas box but with Covid and everything this year we decided it's better that we don't try to do that because it wasn't clear we could do it excellently. But we have the Daily Audio Bible ornament, the Christmas ornament that we make each year with the words of the year on in the year that it represents, and we’ve been doing that for a bunch years now and we didn’t want to not have that. So, we do. And it's just, make your own Christmas box this year. If you spend $40 or more in the Daily Audio Bible Shop, we will send you the 2020 Christmas ornament along with your order. So, check that out. That is going on right now while supplies last.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning everyone from Budapest this is John, John in Budapest and the many of the longtime listeners will know me as Paul in Barcelona. I know we all have our fun nick names and mine is rather boring, but Paul in Barcelona has moved to Budapest and taken his middle name of John as his nickname. So, I’m John and Budapest now. Okay? And doing quite well with my Hungarian by the way. So, you know, also if anyone wants to follow me on Facebook look for John Ransom in Budapest. So, John Ransom. So anyway, that’s not the cause of this message, the cause of this message is to just ask for special prayer for both Brian and Jill but also the entire staff during these very frenetic holiday season days. And I also want to kinda do a shout out for someone many of the new listeners will not know – SJ, SarahJane in Colorado in the DAB warehouse. And they’re gonna be going through just craziness starting from now. And, so, I just want us all to lift them up in prayer, you know, that they would have all the resources they need. They’re shipping out all those goodies to all of us and…but they’re…it’s not just what they do, it’s who they are. And they’re just pillars of the DAB from the very beginning. SJ has, you know, was in the UK, formerly organized some of the first European meetings. I could go on and on. So, we just pray for you. I also want to give a shout out to Victoria Soldier. Victoria I was praying for you this morning as I had breakfast with Abba and I just love your sweet spirit and your powerful prayers. Blind Tony and so so many others I send you much love and it’s a pleasure to be on the pod waves again with you. God bless.

Hey this is the Prodigal calling in. Just listened to the pain and the heartbreak of Terry the trucker. He’s back out in his truck again because of this plague and I just beg God to let the devil take his foot off…off Terry’s neck and give him some peace, he and his wife. They’ve been together 32 years, a lot longer than me and mine. And he needs some comfort. And only you Holy Spirit and the Lord Jesus Christ can give him that comfort. So, please God I beg that You…sorry I just worked out…You give him some peace, some release, some grace. Shine Your light on him. Let him rise up and get back in with his wife and with all the losses and everything lead as normal life as possible. We’re all challenged, we’re all plagued. It’s part of the human condition these days and it doesn’t look like it’s gonna get better for a while. So, please just…I beg You’d help everybody who calls in with cancer and MS and divorces and loneliness and depression. Unfortunately, I’ve had all those simultaneously and it sucks. So, Terry I know how you feel brother and it broke my heart dude. So, I’m praying for you. Always love to hear your calls. And you keep on drivin’ keep on truckin’ brother and God’s there with you. He’s riddin’ with you in the truck. He’ll heal ya. He’ll help ya. He’ll lift you up. Praying. And only …

This is I am Blessed from Canada and I don’t call in very often, but God is prompting me so often to call in and I don’t know why I don’t. So, in the midst of doing my dishes right now listening to the prayers I thought, “here it comes again. God’s prompting.” And I’m not gonna ignore this time. I just want to let God’s Yellow Flower know that you are in my heart, my thoughts, my prayers. Praying for Keith. Love you and can only imagine how difficult this is. You bring a smile to my face. The talk about the pounding of the concrete. I wonder whether that’s on Cordon Avenue or Pembina Highway or I don’t know I’ve driven by so much construction lately and I think of my other fellow Winnipeggers like Nave. Where you these days? And I’m just so thankful that there is community out there. And I think so often as I drive down, “I wonder if anyone out here is a DABber?” And it’s just such a big part of my life and I just thank you Brian for that. And I thank You Lord for everything for You have done and that You’ve called Brian to do and his faithfulness and for the faithfulness of others that call in. It’s just so valuable. Thank you, Jesus for these people.

Hey there Daily Audio Bible family this is John from Bethlehem Pennsylvania I hope you are doing awesome. I wanted to say first of all happy Thanksgiving to everybody it is Tuesday the 24th November, hard to believe. But happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving week. There’s so much to be thankful for. Family if you would be so kind as to keep a couple people in mind for me. We’ve got a good friend her name’s Jill and she’s on our worship team for our church in Easton Pennsylvania and she’s having some complications after having surgery…and…with some infection. If you can keep Jill in mind, that God’s amazing power and healing and mighty touch would be on her for healing and wholeness and health and peace and comfort and bring her through that, I…I’d greatly appreciate it. And then, if you could keep Pastor Randy and Maribel Landis in mind as well, they…they tragically lost…they’re the senior pastors for our church, Life Church here in the Lehigh Valley in Pennsylvania…and they tragically lost their son Randall who’s in his 30s last week. Pastor Randy and Randal, his son were doing mission work in the Dominican and his son got a mosquito bite and tragically died two days later of dengue. So, it’s a tragic time as it is for so, so many. I love you guys and covet your prayers over all these folks in Jesus’ name. Thank you.

Hello, my dear Daily Audio Bible family. How are you? I am so thankful for you for the Hardin family, thankful for technology that we can go through the Bible together in community during this pandemic in this crazy year. I am so thankful for all of you who prayed for our coworker Barb. The surgery to remove the tumor that was behind her ear in her skull was a complete success. They didn’t think that they would get all of the tumor, but they did, 100%. Not only that, her nerves in her face all the things that she was concerned about were totally protected and she has complete use, function of her nerves. Thank you, Lord we are so grateful. Today Brian read the passage about spouses with…well…with Christians with unbelieving spouses. I want to pray for some of those people. Lord, I want to lift up Radiant Rachel to You and Joe and all of the people in our Daily Audio  Bible community who love You and seek You, who worship You and whose spouses are not walking with You. Father, I just pray that You would do mighty work through these brothers and sisters of ours, that You would help them to be Jesus to their spouses and that You would be convicting the hearts of their unbelieving spouses so that they would see Your love and their sin and their need to…need to bend the knee before Your Father. Also, for our friends who are in that same boat Lord, please just touch the hearts of the spouses. Happy Thanksgiving Daily Audio Bible. Talk to you later. We love you.

[crowkingwrites]

Battle of the Bands (Ch.20)

Pairing: Robb Stark x Reader, Jon Snow x Reader, Viserys Targaryen x Reader, Ramsay Bolton X Reader

Summary: You just moved into the city for the first tie all by yourself. After you get your dream summer job working for a small magazine, you find yourself in the middle of the city’s rock festival: Battle of the Bands. Local rock bands throughout the city compete to win a record deal that could change their lives. Your job? Get close to them and write about them online.A single girl in the city surrounded by rocker boys during the summertime. What could possibly go wrong?

Words: 1107 // AO3 Link

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four // Chapter Five // Chapter Six // Chapter Seven // Chapter Eight // Chapter Nine // Chapter Ten // Chapter Eleven // Chapter Twelve // Chapter Thirteen // Chapter Fourteen // Chapter Fifteen

Ramsay’s Ending (Chapter 16) Viserys’ Ending (Chapter 17) Jon’s Ending (Chapter Eighteen) Robb’s Ending (Chapter 19)

Your Ending - The Middle

“What?” Viserys reacted. “You’re not with Ramsay? But he said—

“You’re suing the whole magazine and this was all my fault. I—

“Did Robb Stark fire you?”

“No, well—

“Why are you here?” Viserys asked. His voice was different this time. It held no anger or rage, but confusion. “Did you come for me?”

“I…I came for me,” you gave Viserys your biggest shit smile. “I didn’t come here for you.” You watched Viserys’ face turn into something sour. He huffed and shifted his stance. He opened his mouth.

“You know—

“Know what? Were you going to say something sexy and clever? Don’t worry, I’ll assume it was something to do with how slutty I am, right?” You started to walk away from the rockstar until you had something else on your mind. You stopped and turned to see Viserys still standing there, almost dumbfounded.

“Hey Viz!” you called out to him. Viserys looked back to you, meeting your eyes. “Being a slut isn’t a bad thing. Maybe you should try it sometime after all, you’re desperate for someone to fuck you, right?”

You heard him say a comment back, but it was too late. You felt the sun shine down on you like the gods themselves were proud of your embracing your active sexuality. You made your way out of the festival and back to your apartment.

A day later, you found yourself in your car with mostly everything inside. You followed your dad’s van on the highway back to your parent’s house. Your best friend was on speaker phone with you.

“I fucking forgot your hometown is literally the cutest town in the world,” Margaery said. “Are you going to work at your dad’s bookstore?”

“Yeah,” you chuckled and glanced behind you. Margaery’s truck kept most of furniture in place, but seeing Margaery behind the wheel of a vehicle twenty times her size was too funny to ignore. “He introduced me to books. He knows I love books as much as he does.”

“But would you want to stay there?”

“I don’t know,” you smiled to yourself. “I guess we’ll find out once time passes. Maybe I’ll move back into King’s City, maybe I won’t.”

“You’re not gonna quit writing are you? I really liked your articles. You’re really funny to read,” Margaery said.

“No,” you sighed. “But, there’s no newspapers hiring in my town. There’s nothing out there.”

“So make something.”

Margaery’s words stuck with you when you unpacked everything in your old room. Margaery stood with you for a week to see your hometown. You walked along the river and took a day trip to the local boardwalk where your dad’s bookshop was. Margaery particularly loved the princess-themed tea room she visited.

You both shared a sad goodbye. She went back to King’s City and you were back home. Summer turned into Fall and then December slowly crept up to you.

Working at your dad’s bookshop was a nice change. No boys were down your throat or up your ass. You found a new peace as you’re your fingers would touch the spines of the fictional characters that gave you comfort and love over all these years. You returned to your desk where the register was.

“What’s wrong kiddo?” you father asked.

“Am I making a mom face?”

“Yeah, you’re making a mom face. What’s wrong?”

You let out a loud sigh and looked out the window. “I miss writing. I guess. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll write fanfiction or something.” You chuckled to yourself. You would never write fanfiction. Fanfic writers were a special breed of sleepless, late-night suffering, burrito blanket wearing people. You admired them for everything they did, but you wanted something more.

“Do what Margie told you.”

“Make something? What? Do I write a book?”

“No, start a magazine,” your dad smiled. “You worked at one.”

“Yeah, I worked at a small magazine for a couple of months. I don’t think I’m qualified to start one.” You started shaking your head.

“Well, why not?”

“It’s-I’m just—

“I quit being a lawyer to run this shop. I love books. That was my experience. I never once worked at a bookshop before. I just loved books.” Your dad had a point. “You worked for a magazine. West Rivers doesn’t have a trendy magazine, but we could.”

An idea came to mind. It burned and it filled your stomach with joy. You grabbed your laptop and opened it. You hadn’t spoken with the Stark family in months, but, if anything, you knew deep down they were good people. You started an email telling your story and asking for advice on how to start a magazine or just how to start something.

You bit your lip down hard. Maybe they wouldn’t respond. Maybe you left everyone angry and pissed off. Why would they help you? You got the magazine sued. They probably hate you.

You took a deep breath. No, you wouldn’t let your anxiety get the best of you again. The email was sent. The worst thing they could do was never respond.

For the next two days, you decorated your home for the holidays with your mom. Lights and candles were everywhere. You switched on your mom’s Hallmark channel and stepped into the kitchen to make hot chocolate. Your phone buzzed.

Y/N,

I am soooooo happy you reached out to me! Once I heard you left, I was so sad. I really wanted to meet you. [Plus, is it weird that bran told me you were gonna reach out to me?] I’m so so so sorry for how things turned out for you. Jon and Robb can be…true Stark men sometimes. Ugh.

Jon’s in the music studio! He’s working on his first album. Robb and I still have the magazine. We didn’t get sued after all. Viserys didn’t have enough evidence to take us to court. He’s just the whiniest baby. [Sister’s pretty cool though, not gonna lie] And I spoke with Ramsay yesterday and we talked about you. He still thinks of you time to time. And he’s also going to be my personal lawyer to take my brand to the next level.

ANYWAYSSS, I would be so happy to help you start your brand! Robb told me about the cute river town you live in. I’d like to visit so we can talk face to face! Maybe sometime next year? How does that sound?

Love, Sansa Stark

You smiled and started your reply.

“Sansa, I think this is a start of a beautiful friendship. Let’s meet up next month.”

Note to Self: You can be badass all by yourself.

In this order:

Chapter 16 - Ramsay’s Ending Chapter 17 - Viserys’ Ending Chapter 18 - Jon’s Ending Chapter 19 - Robb’s Ending Chapter 20 - Your Ending

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[dc41896]

Oil and Vinegar

https://www.instagram.com/p/B6_HBh5FY5h/?igshid=15quthjehd9dy

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A post shared by Jacob Scipio (@jaycpo) on Jan 6, 2020 at 9:10am PST

Pairing: Armando Armas (Jacob Scipio)xBlack Reader

Warning(s): Ok so I don’t think this imagine would be considered a spoiler, but just to be on the safe side 🚨SPOILER WARNING!!!!🚨 Other than that, slight angst (I know it’s not the usual fluff what is going on?!?!!!😂)

“Alright guys, this is Armando and he’s gonna be working with us for a while,” Rita introduces to you and the team.

“Wait, as in the Armando that’s supposed to be in jail right now?,” Rafe asks, pausing to look at his boss as if she’d gone mad.

“No Armando as in your new teammate so show him the ropes and treat him as such,” she corrects before turning on her heels to return to her desk.

“Hey I’m Kelly, and over there with the guns is Rafe. By the computers is Dorn and next to him is our other rookie, Y/N,” Kelly introduces pointing to each of you respectively.

Giving you all a slight head nod, he follows Kelly as she begins showing him around the facility.

“Who’s Armando? From what Rafe said, sounds like you guys have history,” you ask Dorn, looking around to make sure your new teammate wasn’t around to hear you talking about him.

“And you would be correct,” he begins with a sigh. “Long story short, he was a person of interest for us during an investigation until some turn of events involving Detective Lowry.”

“I see..” Slowly nodding your head, you turn back to the screen in front of you continuing your work. Still on his tour, you notice him glance your way out of the corner of your eye before shifting his attention back to Kelly as if nothing happened, as soon as you look in his direction.

Although you had yet to talk to him, you could tell his personality was quiet yet intense. Like he wouldn’t easily let anyone in and if you were lucky enough to break down one wall, there was probably 10 more you had to get through. More than likely he wasn’t too thrilled about being on a team either, which would definitely make his time here interesting.

Two years later after a handful of missions and assignments, your predictions couldn’t be more right. He was quiet with pretty much everyone at first, that is until Rafe starting puffing his chest out one day.

“Oye, you might want to calmaté with the big boss act before you get knocked down,” he spoke during one of your combat trainings. Smooth yet a bit menacing, you knew he meant business.

“And who’s gonna do that?”

Shrugging, he places his hands in the pockets of his black sweatpants making a noise with his mouth as if he was thinking.

“I don’t know, maybe me? I’d even put my money on her honestly,” he answered tilting his head in your direction.

“East boys, stop showing your feathers. Plus he has a point Rafe, we all know Y/N could definitely take you out,” Rita adds, breaking the tension and making Dorn, Kelly, and even Rafe, softly laugh.

Not to toot your own horn or anything, but she was right. Yea you might’ve spent most of your time helping with tech, but when it was time for action, no one could touch you.

Being an excellent fighter himself, that usually left you and Armando partners for missions, like the one you were currently on. However being partners didn’t really change his quiet nature. The only time he would really talk to you was about an assignment or if someone else needed you for something.

You honestly didn’t think much of it though knowing how he was. Coming back from the current assignment though, he did something no one could have predicted.

“Where were you?!,” he yelled as you both entered the surveillance truck. “We kept calling you and you wouldn’t answer!”

“Sorry, I was a little busy getting hulk smashed into the wall,” you answer holding your back. “Dorn I got the flash drive and broke through the first firewall while I was inside, but there’s another one I didn’t have enough time to get through.”

“On it, thanks!”

“Next time answer when someone calls,” Armando mumbles walking pass you to reload his gun.

“Sure thing dad.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Relax it was just a joke. What’s your problem?!”

“Right now you!”

“Hey! Armando, Y/N enough! I don’t know what’s going on between you two but get it together and fast!,” Rita yells, the rest of the crew looking back and forth between the three of you to see what would happen next.

Shaking his head, he goes back to his gun as you scoff, sitting down next to Dorn to see what he’s come up with.

———

“What is it?!,” your boyfriend, Wes, frustratedly greets.

“And hello to you too. Is everything ok?,” you ask, back at your usual spot in front of the computer screen searching files.

“Yea it’s fine, just busy with work.”

“Oh ok, well do you want me to call bac-?”

“Listen I don’t have time to talk, I’ll just see you later,” he quickly answers, hanging up before giving you a chance to say goodbye.

“Novio still being a di-?,” Armando speaks, your backs towards each other from him being at computer behind you.

“1. Watch your mouth and 2. He had a lot of work to do so he’s just stressed. And way to eavesdrop on my private conversation!”

“Seems like he’s stressed everyday from the way he talks to you. And I wasn’t eavesdropping, you’re the one having a phone call in the middle of the office.”

“Whatever.” Searching for possible locations of a suspect, all that can be heard in the room is the light clicks from you typing on the keyboard.

“You deserve better Mari,” he replies, his rich Mexican accent breaking the moment of silence between the two of you.

“Is he serious right now?!,” you thought turning around in your seat looking at the back of his head.

“So first you get mad at me for not answering when you guys called and now you’re trying to have a say in who I date?! Last time I checked you’re not my dad!”

“I know I’m not and I’m not trying to be! I’m just saying-,”

“And I’M just saying that I’m a grown adult who can handle herself so thanks but I’ll ask for your help when I need it. Oh and you know my name so I don’t understand why you’re calling me Mari.”

Turning around to face you, you’re met with deep brown eyes that instantly had you in a trance. Although he was so tough, and at times intimidating, they looked so soft and inviting making you wish you could stay that way for a while longer.

“Mari is short for Mariposa, or butterfly. On one hand, it’s a graceful, beautiful creature that can bring light and happiness. But according to the butterfly effect, can also come with deadly consequences,” he finishes looking just as deep into your eyes as you were his.

“Hey can one of you print some-,” Kelly starts to ask before seeing both of you quickly return to the way you were sitting, of course causing an eyebrow to rise as she began wondering what could’ve been going on.

“Yea I got it just send it to me,” Armando replied.

“Will do,” she smirks making eye contact with you donning a look that said “you guys did/were about to do something and I want to know everything,” before backing out of the door.

“Like I said Mari you deserve better.”

“Hmm and let me guess, warning me somehow calms your conscience knowing you’ve done the same?”

“I’ve done some messed up things Y/N, but none of them included mistreating my girl,” he answers momentarily looking down at your lips before turning around to collect all of his stuff to leave.

“Night.”

“Goodnight,” you answer as he walks out the door, backpack hanging from one shoulder. Still collecting your thoughts about what just happened, Kelly walks through the door just as he leaves locking it then putting the key in her pocket.

“Alright spill what happened or you’re never leaving this room,” she states sitting next to you and giving you a much needed laugh for the day.

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[bunnimm]

Hypothesis: Jikook/Kookmin Timeline

In this post I am going to try and write down a KM timeline based on the material available to us and guesswork to connect it. I agree with a lot of other supporters in many aspects and therefore this won’t be too different from anything you’ve read before, except for some minor details perhaps. None of this should be taken as truth as it is simply a hypothesis from my perspective and mostly for me to collect my thoughts by writing it down. Basing your own opinion on various sources of information, views of people with different perspectives and also being prepared to let what you believe be challenged is a healthy way of going about this I think. We can guess, discuss and make hypotheses but not claim any truth unless it comes from KM themselves. But let’s celebrate the love we do see.

Here we go! 

2013/2014:

I won’t go into too much detail here as I agree with most other KM supporters and I don’t really feel the need to chip in on the rediculous dislike trope that was created back then and still gets mentioned today. What we can see in material from around this time is a very nervous JK not knowing how to react to JM wanting to spread love and give the maknae love, sometimes in very extra ways. When I use the word extra it’s not with a negative connotation at all but simply a way to describe how JM sometimes showed love to JK in very out-there ways and how he reacted to it. 

If JK had developed a crush on or feelings for JM his reactions, that look like rejection, make a lot of sense to me but was probably confusing for the latter sometimes as we have some reason to believe that the maknae acted a bit differently at the dorm. I don’t know if JM simply saw JK as a younger brother at this point and tried to ease his nervousness with more love or if he too struggled with how to express his feelings and it came out rather enthusiastically. This whole period feels careful, confusing and experimental to me.

2015:

In footage from the beginning of the year we can see a JK that is a bit less nervous as well as a less extra JM. What implemented this change could be numerous things. In an interview (around 19:10) in May JM is asked why he likes the maknae so much. His answer deflects a bit from his previous enthusiastic ones and this time he simply implies that “he is cute because he is the maknae” while JK looks very interested in knowing the answer. What happens after is also interesting. The reason behind the younger showing less nervousness and dropping his guard a bit during this time could be the fact that he was starting to become more relaxed around his hyungs and perhaps more comfortable with his own feelings. JM’s actions however are usually a lot more difficult to read. 

Around the summer of 2015 I, like many others, believe that there was a change in KM’s dynamics. Some speculate that this switch occurred around the time JM had an accident/fainted at a fan meeting in Japan and I can definitely see that being a possibility. The less nervous JK, who sometimes even responded to JM showing him love, that we begin to see this year was perhaps driven to be more straight forward with how he felt because of this event. He may have vocalized it or something else could’ve happened that made it undeniable. I have also explored the thought of JM’s feelings not being parallel with JK’s at first and truly just seeing him as a younger brother to dote on (in his flirty ways) and as I mentioned previously he can be difficult to read. They met six years ago which is a lot of time for feelings to evolve and that evolution doesn’t have to be linear, or parallel I should say. Nothing is simply black or white. 

However, I think it’s safe to say that there is an apparent difference in how KM act with each other if we compare the first half of 2015 to the second half. It’s particularly obvious on JK’s part I would say as he is suddenly initiating a lot more of the moments between them, be it back hugs or what could be considered flirting. This moment (0:30 and onwards) from the end of August happened right after this switch I think. JK’s stare is very deliberate and he doesn’t flinch or avert his gaze as JM looks back at him. JM’s face says even more. At first he has a more serious or surprised look on his face and when he smiles it’s not a goofy smile but an affectionate one before they both snap out of it. 

The rest of the year contains a different type of flirty banter and comfortable skinship compared to what we can find in earlier years. Just to give you a few more examples of often mentioned KM moments from this “year of change” we have the Christmas Live with HopeJiKook, this vlog from MAMA and JK being rather upset when someone thinks he doesn’t like JM in this Live from Thailand (he also seems to want everyone to hear him tell JM how pretty his eyes are). Since these are only a few of the more popular moments please feel free to leave an ask if anything else around this time, or any time on the timeline, caught your eye that you want to discuss. 

So, one of my guesses would be that some type of confessions or expressions of feelings/attraction took place this year. This was three years ago so the question I have, and they might have had, would be: what’s next? 

2016: 

This is where it gets difficult for me to even make guesses. I have a hard time connecting certain things and I’m gonna try and explain why. 

If we imagine that KM confessed to having feelings for each other in 2015 then naturally the next step would be to get into a relationship or start dating, right? Well, maybe for most people it is but I don’t agree with that. I’m not going to use the word “dating” on my blog as that is something that’s not really used where I come from and I’m a bit wary of the definition. But that’s not my main point. 

The thing is, since I am quite new here I am still not too familiar with the idol industry, how management works, economics, scandals, dating culture, enlistment, you name it. And even if I was, what BTS is doing has never been done before. What they are going through together is unimaginable and no matter how much some try to analyze every moment and every second captured on camera we only get to see what they choose to share with us. I am beyond grateful for everything the choose to share with us. They are going through this together but they are also individuals with layers. From my perspective, the communication we have seen between the members and what they have shown us of themselves makes me think of the lyrics in “Sea” but I am going to switch around the words. Where there is despair, there is hope. 

Do I believe that a same-sex relationship in this unimaginable situation is impossible? No, I do not. But we have to consider what this would mean and the problem for me is that it’s hard to imagine what would happen behind the scenes. However, this healthy communication is partially what’s giving me hope just as I mentioned above. Now we have to include BigHit in this. Say and believe what you want about what’s going on right now but I would like to believe that there is care between the company and the members. Especially care about their health but they also care enough to recommend LGBTQ+ MVs to their artists and have NJ going from describing love “between a man and a woman” to “between a person and a person”. Even if that was a personal choice I don’t think it’s a reach to believe that these matters have been and are being discussed within the company. 

So how would KM be approached by the members and the company? I really don’t know, but I am going to try and make a guess. Let’s say that the rest of the members and also the company/Bang PD were made aware of what was happening between KM as it happened. I believe that the care they have for them would result in the wish to protect but also wanting to see them loved and happy. Perhaps 2016 was the year of trying to see how they can do both but also for JM and JK to explore their feelings with each other, what they want, what works for them, what would be healthy/safe for everyone involved in this situation and what makes them happy. Apart from this I would guess that boundaries and agreements were set to make sure that KM could explore safely. 

I can imagine that this is why it’s hard to connect and analyze a lot of the moments from this year. Uncertainty, caution, tension and love all mixed up in a big blender that was this year. I’m going to finish of 2016 by mentioning some popular moments that all have a mix of these. The flirty epilogue Live, the “I’ll be your future boyfriend”, nuances in Bon Voyage season 1, Run episode 12, JM and SJ reacting to JK and this JinJiKook Live. The last two have the common factor of JM complaining about JK acting differently towards him or not coming to him when he asks. These occur in two different halves of the year and could simply be teasing or something more significant. This along with all the other lovely KM moments of 2016 are the reasons I remain confused as reasons far from any guesses I could make are possible.

2017:  

Now last year was a lot in many ways. After the confusion of 2016 I am still confused but there is also this new sense of slight clarity or intention perhaps. If I were to make another guess I could imagine that in the beginning of the year they might have been certain about what they want after some time of trial and error. Imaginably they decided that they do want to be in an established romantic relationship. Or simply say that this is me, this is him and this is us. Around this time we have Bon Voyage season 2, Summer Package and also Burn the Stage which are all filled with moments I would love to discuss. I also want to mention here that the love I see in JM rushing to and staying with JK as he fell ill is so very powerful and beautiful regardless of relationship definitions. 

I found my way here around one month after the release of G.C.F in Tokyo so I missed all of the reactions and discussions that stemmed from the initial release but the talent JK possesses can’t be praised enough. The way he is able to convey how he sees the world, his world, and the people he loves is astounding. I might make a post about G.C.F in the future but I don’t know if I have anything new to add that hasn’t already been said. Some see G.C.F in Tokyo as a definite coming out and others as more of a “letting people in a bit more” which would be my first guess. But since I can’t ask JK directly about the details, and people will interpret art differently, I will for now just enjoy his work and his adoration still seeps through the screen by the way it’s edited with the song.

I tried finding some words similar to domestic to try and explain what I see in KM moments from 2017. I couldn’t find something that resonated with me completely but loving, attentive and inevitable come close. That inevitability has been visible for a while but is quite prominent in Memories of 2017, Burn the Stage and when they travel for example. Some people seem to believe that KM, the members as well as BigHit are all in on slowly exposing the world to KM and that this began last year. That they expected a different reaction from the first G.C.F. I don’t know how I feel about some big elaborate master plan but them deciding to partially share more might not be a complete reach. They haven’t stopped talking about that trip to Tokyo and I believe that could be them emphasizing on and wanting to share how much it truly meant to them. That attentiveness and inevitability feels even more evident as we enter the Love Yourself era towards the end of 2017 and even more so after that wonderful trip. 

2018: 

The first half of this year was quiet but we know now that it was a very hard and bewildering time for the members with both rest and exceedingly hard work behind the scenes. This was my first comeback and my vocabulary really isn’t good enough to describe that experience. KM-wise I was honestly quite taken aback and wanted to know if what was happening felt different to anyone else or if I was simply not used to the content. Most seemed to agree that this was a new level of KM and truthfully there are too many moments to list. Something I want to emphasize on is that it’s not just about what we call “moments” but how that inevitability I mentioned previously is more apparent than ever. The casual intimacy combined with the tension filled moments.

Some like to speculate what the future might hold but I’m going to end this timeline in the present. We have no idea what a same-sex relationship between two idols would be like let alone the personal situation of KM. If they indeed are in a romantic relationship they do not owe us to share anything what so ever and if they would ever want to I don’t believe we can predict the timeline of that event or what would follow after. For now I hope they are healthy, safe, loved and in control of whatever they want to do or share. 

Before I end this I want to make it very clear again that this timeline is simply a hypothesis based on a pattern I see as one possibility. Even though this post is very long I still only included a fraction of what could be discussed and we still only have access to a fraction of their lives which makes respectful guessing all we have. This is me trying to connect the lovely moments we do get to see and filling in the gaps by guessing, which could be very far from the truth or not. No matter how KM’s relationship has evolved into what it is now, what I want to celebrate here is the love, care and respect I see between them in the moments that are shared with us.  

[megalony]

The Evans boys- Part 2

Here is the second part of my new Chris Evans series, thank you to everyone for the lovely response so quickly, I hope you all like it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @peterquillzsblog​

Series taglist: @ihearthockeyy​ @lizzyclifford13-blog​

Series masterlist

Summary: Chris and (Y/n) have four boys together and are finally expecting a girl, but their family is hectic and things get harder when (Y/n) becomes ill.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mum, can Harry still stay over tonight?" Slowly daring to lift his eyes from looking at his plate, Levi looked across the table to (Y/n). There was apprehension in his voice because he was unsure what the answer to his question would be.

The plan had been for Harry to have a sleepover tonight but with (Y/n) only just coming out of the hospital two days ago since being in for her back, Chris didn't think it was a good idea. (Y/n) had a slipped disc in her spine and it was pressing on a nerve which was causing the pain and aggravation, and the baby wasn't much help either. The only thing (Y/n) could do was take painkillers and try not to move around too much but they still had four boys to look after and Chris couldn't do everything no matter how many times he tried to.

"Sure, what time's he coming round?" (Y/n) pushed her plate away from her which she was now finished with, smiling when she noticed the relief on Levi's features. It was always a bit hit and miss when asking for friends over because their house was hectic as it was and friends didn't normally stay over when Chris wasn't around because it was a bit too much for them all. But Levi loved it when he could have a friend stay over, he could stay up late and play video games or watch tv with someone other than his brothers or his parents.

Leaning back in her seat, (Y/n) slouched as much as she could to try and keep the pain in her back to a minimum. She adjusted the pillow behind her before resting her hands on her stomach, letting her eyes fall from Levi to Chris who was sitting on her left with Milo sat on his lap.

"Sure that's a good idea?" Chris didn't want to be mean, he really didn't but he just thought they were all a bit strained as it was. (Y/n) wasn't sleeping well, both Luca and Milo were now having to share a room which Luca was not happy about but they needed to make Milo's room into a nursery for when their girl was born. Luca didn't like sharing a room and Milo woke up a few times during the night, if Levi had Harry over that definitely meant both of them would be up past midnight too.

"He's coming to see Levi, not me, it'll be fine." Chris kept his eyes on (Y/n) for a moment before he relented and nodded causing Levi to smile, almost jumping in excitement.

"Finished." Charlie moved his plate to show Chris that it was empty, earning a nod from his dad which meant he could leave the table. If any of the boys didn't eat very much they weren't allowed to leave the table, it was a rule that was in place mainly because Levi and Luca never wanted to eat all of their food and they didn't eat enough.

"Me too." Luca held his plate up for Chris to see causing Chris to smile, tipping his head to show that he could leave the table as well.

When Milo was finished, Chris set him down to his feet, watching as he hurried off into the lounge to finish the game he had been playing earlier. A smile pulled at Chris' lips when (Y/n) held her hands out towards him, silently asking for him to pull her up. Leaning down, he held her elbows and she grabbed his forearms, letting him pull her to her feet with ease.

The tablets the doctor had given (Y/n) weren't taking all the pain away but they had made the pain much more bearable. She had been told to rest and slowly try to do things over a period of time because it was going to take a few weeks for the disc to heal. They had just less than three months before the baby was due so (Y/n) knew for the next three or four months she was going to be doing very little, especially now that Chris was home and wasn't working on a new project as of yet.

Chris pressed his lips to (Y/n)'s temple before he watched her disappear down the hall, going into the lounge where Milo was. He could already see that she was walking better now she was on painkillers, when he took her to the hospital it was as if she had been paralysed and learning to walk again.

"Alright, are you washing or drying?" Turning himself around, Chris looked at Levi as he pointed to the sink causing the eldest to roll his eyes playfully before he pushed himself up.

"Drying." It was his turn to help with the washing up and cleaning and washing up was something that Levi couldn't stand. He stood next to Chris at the sink, resting his hips forward against the counter as he waited to be handed a plate to dry. Even though Levi was only thirteen he was tall for his age, he was just short of Ben's shoulder by a few inches and even though he was skinny he looked like Chris' double with the matching hair, eyes and nose.

When a few minutes of silence passed between them, Chris looked over at Levi with narrowed eyes. It wasn't like him not to have anything to say or some funny story or joke to tell Chris, or even just a question that had been running through his head. Levi wasn't one for silence.

"What's up?"

There was a moment of silence between them where Levi looked up at Chris with something that resembled worry in his eyes before he looked back down to the plate in his hands that he was cleaning.

"What's wrong with mum, you never said the other day. It... it's not the baby, is it?" The question sort of surprised Chris but at the same time, he was expecting something along those lines from Levi. He was the eldest, they couldn't brush things off with him or avoid the topics like they could with the other boys. If he knew something was wrong he was likely to sit and dwell on it with worry until someone told him what was going on.

Pursing his lips, Chris brushed the soap and bubbles from another plate before handing it over to Levi, turning his head so he was no longer looking down at the sink but now looking at his boy.

"No, no the baby's fine I promise, it's just her back. There's tissue in the spine and some of it's pushing on a few nerves, it's painful but it goes away after a while. Your mum's gonna be fine, we've just got to look after her right now." Chris passed a few forks over to Levi, watching the relief pool in his blue orbs and flood onto his face. Neither parent had told any of the boys why they had gone to hospital a few days ago and neither of them told Levi what the problem was which made him worry that it was something serious or bad.

"Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dad! Dad come here." Failing to stop a groan from passing through his lips, Levi pushed his left elbow behind him to try and push his brother away who was trying to lean over his shoulder and grab the control from him. "Charlie fuck off." Levi batted his hand behind him, successfully pushing his brother off of him just as Chris stood in the doorway to the games room.

The room wasn't very big but it was where they kept all the video games, the Wii and a few board games and cars and such. There were some beanbags in there too, it was where the boys went if they had friends over to be out the way since it was downstairs next to the dining room.

"Don't swear at your brother, now what's wrong?" Chris rose his brows, knowing that Levi could see his reflection in the tv in front of him. It didn't matter if Charlie was annoying him, he couldn't swear at any of his brothers.

"Tell him to go away." There was a pleading tone to Levi's voice and he briefly turned his head to look at Chris who couldn't help but roll his eyes. He leaned his weight back against the door, pushing Milo a little higher on his hip as the four year old was almost asleep in his arms at this point. Charlie knew he wasn't really supposed to come in here unless he was getting a toy but he wanted to hang around Levi and Harry because it made him feel older and included.

"Charlie come on, they're playing a game let them be in here on their own please." Chris held his hand out to Charlie but the nine year old frowned, he wanted to stay here.

"But I want to play too."

"When you have friends round you don't like your brothers hanging around, come on we're watching a movie." Chris' tone changed ever so slightly, becoming more authoritative to show Charlie that this wasn't a debate or a battle that he was going to win. Levi didn't want him hanging around or getting in the way and Chris understood that because all the boys were the same, when they had friends over it was like they had toys they didn't want to share.

A whine passed through Charlie's lips before he huffed and reached over for Chris' hand, swinging their entwined hands back and forth as he stood by his dad's side, waiting for him to finish talking to Levi.

"You boys can stay in here until nine, then you've got to head upstairs to your room, lights out at ten." Chris knew the pair of them would most likely still be awake and chatting through the night and he didn't mind too much because there was always a point where Levi would just shut down and go to sleep whether he wanted to or not.

"Okay." Levi nodded but his attention was clearly more focused on the game than what Chris was saying.

Chris guided Charlie out of the room and shut the door behind them before heading over to the lounge where (Y/n) and Luca were already settled with a movie just about to start playing. It was best to keep all the boys together tonight or they would be either trying to go and join Levi or messing around somewhere in the house. A movie always helped them settle and wind down ready to go to bed.

Heading into the room, Charlie let go of Chris' hand and grabbed one of the blankets and curling up on the end of the long sofa against the arm. Luca was wedged into the corner of the sofa where it formed an L shape against the corner of the room. (Y/n) was laid next to him, both of them stretched out with a bundle of pillows behind them and a blanket over them both. Walking over, Chris sat down next to (Y/n), propping his feet up on the coffee table as he settled Milo on his lap.

It didn't take long for Milo to fall asleep curled up against Chris but he couldn't bothered to move so he left Milo where he was rather than take him up to bed before the movie finished.

"Mind out, I'll take them both up."

(Y/n) looked at Chris with a bit of scepticism in her eyes but she leaned out of the way when Chris stood to his feet, Milo in one arm with his head on Chris' shoulder. Leaning over (Y/n), Chris reached for Luca who was out for the count and (Y/n) helped support his head and move up up until Chris had a secure hold over him. When he straightened up, he had one boy in each arm and Charlie slowly dragging his feet as he staggered out of the room to go to bed.

When Chris headed upstairs, (Y/n) slowly pushed herself up off the sofa, grabbing the arm of the sofa to steady herself when it felt like her lower back was tingling with numbness that was almost as blinding as it had been the first time around. (Y/n) was in two minds, part of her wanted to stay down here with Chris for a bit longer because the sofa was easier on her back than trying to find a comfy position in bed. But the other half of her was too tired and desired to go to bed and fall asleep there.

"Alright boys, time to go up." (Y/n) spoke quietly when she reached the game room, clinging to the doorframe as she looked at the two boys still playing video games.

"Five more minutes mum, please?"

"No, captain's orders. Come on, we're all going up now anyway, and you've got an hour until lights out." With a huff, Levi turned off the tv and he and Harry trudged out of the room but not before Levi wrapped his arms around (Y/n) in a brief hug before she heard both of them running upstairs.

(Y/n) slowly made her way up the stairs, silently thanking God that they had a downstairs bathroom because with the way her back was and the amount of times she had to go to the bathroom, she wouldn't have made it up and down these stairs in this state.

When (Y/n) reached her and Chris' bedroom, her eyes scanned around the few pillows she had scattered on the bed as she wondered how to lay down to try and sleep. Laying on her back was not something (Y/n) wanted to try again after it resulted in the hospital last time and even though she was on painkillers now, (Y/n) still didn't want to risk laying directly on her back. It applied the kind of pressure she didn't want nor need right now.

Getting into bed, (Y/n) slowly laid on her right side so she was facing the bedside table, pulling her pillow down so she could curl up and pull her legs up to stop her back from being straight. Reaching for some of the spare pillows, (Y/n) placed one between her legs and hugged one to her chest before pulling the cover over herself.

"You look comfy." Chris commented with a smile when he entered the room, quietly closing the door behind him before he walked over to the bed. Stripping from his shirt and joggers, he turned the tv on before climbing into bed, leaning over so he could bury his face in the crook of (Y/n)'s neck.

"Hmm, not as comfy as it looks." (Y/n) responded quietly, closing her eyes but tilting her head so her face brushed against his.

"It'll get easier, doll."

There weren't too many ways that (Y/n) could try to lay to relieve the tension in her back. Without being able to lay on her back or her stomach for obvious reasons, it only left laying on her sides and there weren't too many different ways she could do that and if none of them were comfy, she was stuck. Chris tried his best to help but there was only so much that he could do.

Chris didn't know when he finally fell asleep but when he turned over to lay the other way, he reached his arm out but his eyes slowly opened when his arm simply landed on a pile of scattered pillows. Waiting for his vision to adjust to the darkness around him, he moved his hand but found that other than the six pillows in front of him, he was alone in bed. Grabbing one of the pillows, he propped it up behind his head as he tried not to fall straight back to sleep, wanting to wait for (Y/n) so he knew if she was in pain or not. He felt bad being able to sleep when she couldn't.

After about five minutes passed by, Chris sighed before slowly pushing himself to his feet, taking a moment to rid his mind of the dizziness before he slowly trudged out of the room. He glanced into Levi and Charlie's rooms, knowing Charlie was one for staying up late when he shouldn't and Levi might still be awake talking to Harry, but all three of them were asleep much to Chris' pleasure. He knew he didn't have to check on Luca or Milo, they should be well away by now.

A frown took over Chris' features when he noticed the bathroom was empty which was where he thought (Y/n) would be. Bypassing the bathroom, Chris slowly headed downstairs, wondering if (Y/n) had gone for a drink or for some painkillers if her back was playing up badly.

His confusion grew when he noticed the lights were on in the lounge so he let his curiosity take over and he headed through. A sigh passed through his lips when he entered the lounge to see that (Y/n) was laid on the armchair in a weird position, looking caught between sleeping and crying.

"Oh baby," His voice was quiet but his shoulders slumped as he made his way over to the chair and crouched down beside it.

Chris folded his arms on the arm of the chair, propping his chin up on his arm so he could look up at (Y/n), noticing the tears were no longer welling in her eyes and were dried on her features. Reaching a cautious hand out, Chris gently brushed her hair back from her face, his nerves tingling when she leaned into the touch.

"Doll, you can't sleep down here it'll make you feel worse." He continued to brush his fingers through her hair but (Y/n) shook her head at his words.

"It doesn't hurt as much like this, I can't sleep in bed." (Y/n) tried to keep her voice level but she was so close to crying again. The pain had gotten worse no matter how she tried to lay and she just couldn't sleep. Her last resort had been coming down here but she knew laying on the sofa would be much the same as trying to lay in bed. But in the armchair she was propped up at an angle and it had a footrest that came out so she was sat upright, she was laid up like she was sitting up in bed. Her back was already more at ease sitting at an angle like this.

"No, no baby you can't sleep here." Chris had spent nights sleeping on sofas or in plastic chairs at hospitals or on sets or planes or travelling and it did him no favours and he knew this wouldn't be much help to (Y/n). She couldn't sleep the night in the chair sat upright it wasn't going to be good for her.

When Chris pushed himself to his feet and tried to reach for (Y/n) she shook her head again before tears started to fall from her eyes that she couldn't stop.

"I don't want to move." (Y/n) snapped her eyes closed, unable to stop herself from choking on a sob burning in her throat. It had taken her over five minutes to manage to get from their bedroom down into the living room, there was no way she could make it back up those stairs right now, she doubted she could get off the chair and stand up.

Chris bit down on his lower lip as he winced, unsure what he was meant to do now. He couldn't go back upstairs or go to sleep with (Y/n) down here especially when he knew she was in pain. But he couldn't force her to go back to bed either, especially if it was only going to cause her more pain and aggravation.

Leaning over, he brushed his thumb over her neck as he dipped his head down to kiss her, trying his best to calm her down and show her that it was okay.

"Alright, alright, if you feel better then we'll stay here for a while." He whispered the words quietly against her lips before pulling back, seeing the frown on (Y/n)'s lips at his words before she realised what he meant and what he was doing.

Moving over to the sofa, Chris grabbed one of the blankets still their from earlier on in the evening before he moved back over to the armchair. (Y/n) was sat forward at an angle, leaning on the right arm of the chair which gave Chris the space and chance to climb on the chair behind her. He moved (Y/n) as gently as he could manage until she was sat between his legs and he placed the blanket on her lap for her to rest over them both.

"No, Chris go to bed-"

"If you're staying down here then so am I. Try and lean back against me, it might help." Chris rested his firm hands on her shoulders, slowly guiding (Y/n) to lean back, knowing it was hard with how her back was tensing. When (Y/n) slowly leaned her back against Chris' chest, she slumped down just a little so there was a small ounce of space between them to stop any pressure. Laying flat on her back was not a good idea, but leaning against Chris like this at an angle felt a lot less tense and easier already.

(Y/n) laid the cover over them both before she tilted her head back to look up at Chris who was almost asleep already.

"Thank you." She mumbled quietly, turning her head so she could press a gentle kiss to his bare chest before she attempted to close her eyes, hoping this time that she could get some sleep.

"G'night doll."

[heecorner]

hxxnim: ひさしぶり東京!!🙋💙🍲🗻🐱 #MyRamenFulLife #あなたのヒチョルがにこにこにー #Tokyo trans: It's been a long time Tokyo!!🙋💙🍲🗻🐱 #MyRamenFulLife #YourHeechulIsSmilingBrightly #Tokyo

[epochofbelief]

Breath Control: The Epilogue

An A Court of Mist and Fury College Swim Team AU

All characters belong to SJ Maas

Feysand and Elriel

Completed Masterlist Link!!! 

(a very short) EPILOGUE

~~~Elain~~~

“Go Feyre!!” I screamed from the stands. 

On deck, standing in the group of Prythian University swimmers next to the pool, I caught sight of Azriel cheering my sister on, as well. Feyre was actually doing really well tonight--she’d slid into the C Final of the 200 free this morning, and was now on track to move up several spots if she could keep up her pace. 

“Come on Feyre!” Every other spectator in the building was shouting around me. I’d never been to a conference championship before--I’d had a big exam the weekend of the swim meet last year. I’d stayed at Mortal U to study instead of traveling to watch Feyre. 

It was insanely loud inside the building, and I intended on adding my voice to the cacophony of cheers and shouts around me until Feyre touched the wall.

Twenty seconds later, my voice hoarse, I watched Feyre win her heat. That meant she’d gotten seventeenth in the most competitive conference in the country!! She’d scored points for the team! And the point totals looked like the girls’ team was on track to get top three overall, as well.

I shot her a text congratulating her, knowing I wouldn’t hear from her for a while, and settled in to watch the rest of the meet. 

A few hours later, after watching Prythian women be announced for winning second in the meet, and the men achieving third, I headed outside to wait for Feyre and Azriel. Azriel had B-finaled tonight, placing tenth in his event and going a best time. 

Feyre came out, surrounded by her friends, and I bolted for her. “Congratulations!!!” I shouted, throwing my arms around her shoulders. She hugged me back tightly. 

“Thanks Elain! I’m so glad you could come.” She dropped her voice, eyes shifting to glance at the coaches a few yards away, talking to a few swimmers and their parents. “Are you coming out with us?”

“You’re going out?”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course! Last day of the meet, it’s been over two months since any of us have been allowed to drink. Dry season is officially over for those of us not qualified for nationals--it’s time to party.” 

I grinned at my sister’s excitement, overjoyed to see how happy she was, and knowing that part of her happiness was because of her success that night. 

I felt a presence behind me before Azriel’s arms encircled my waist, his muscular body pressing against mine. “Hey,” he said in my ear.

I turned. “Hey there. Congratulations! I’m so proud of you.” I kissed him briefly, fully aware of the large crowd of Prythian swimmers, parents and coaches around us--not to mention the groups from other teams also spilling out of the aquatic complex. 

“Thanks. Glad you could be there.” 

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” 

He lowered his voice. “You coming out?”

“Oh my God, is that all you swimmers can think of at a time like this?”

He gave me a look that said it was, in fact, all the swimmers could think of. Dry season--the time required by the team captains that all team members must refrain from drinking until the end of the season--had been wearing on everyone. Being a college student and unable to let loose from time to time was quite a challenge for most kids on the team. I knew Prythian’s dry season had started on New Year’s Day. So it had been a long while since Azriel had had a drink. 

“I’m coming,” I sighed, but secretly was very excited to go out with my friends again. 

He threw his arm across my shoulders and we started walking across the parking lot, leaving our group behind for the moment. 

“I love you,” he exhaled, grinning up at the starry night before he looked down at me nervously.

I stopped in my tracks, turning to face him. “I love you too.” 

And I didn’t give a damn about all the people surrounding us as I tugged his mouth down to mine and kissed him as though we were the only ones in that parking lot.

-------

~~~Feyre~~~

Rhys held my hand as we traipsed across the parking lot. I squeezed his fingers, trying to get a good look at his face. 

“I know you placed higher last year, but are you happy with how you swam this week?”

He nodded, keeping his eyes forward.

“Rhys. Your injury put you out for essentially two months and you still got ninth at Conference. And you dropped a second. You should be proud of yourself.” 

He let go of my hand as we split up to get into his car, me in the passenger seat, him in the driver’s.  

“You’re right. And I am happy. I’ve got one year left; I’ll have to make that count.”

I frowned. “You’re only saying that cause you know that’s what I want you to say--want you to feel.” 

He started the car, but left it in park as he turned his body to face mine. “No, I’m saying that because I don’t want my stupid disappointment to take away from how much of a badass you were tonight. And all week--you cut time in all three of your events. And you finaled. So, I think we need to forget about me coming up slightly short for reasons that were out of my control and focus on my amazing girlfriend instead.”

“Well when you put it that way,” I joked, even as his words made me smile.

“Yep. We definitely need to focus on my smart, beautiful, frustrating, badass girlfriend who also happens to be one of the most elite athletes I’ve ever known. And not just in the pool--if you know what I mean.” He winked.

I pushed his shoulder, gesturing for him to hurry up and drive away already. “Pig. Take me to a bar, please.” 

“Your wish is my command,” he said solemnly, placing his hand on my thigh as he headed straight for Rita’s.

I set my hand on top of his, staring out the window at the people still streaming out of the complex doors, at the cars fighting to get to Main Street, at the exceptionally bright stars hanging overhead. 

I’d done it. I’d picked myself up and found my passion for my sport again. 

I hadn’t gone a best time in any of my events for several years--not since I was a senior in high school. Being able to PR even though I was older and a little more burnt out made me feel like I was on top of the world.

And that was why I swam. I loved my teammates, and I was so lucky that swimming had brought me Cassian, Azriel, Amren, Mor, and Rhysand. But succeeding at something I’d been passionate about for years made me feel a way that nothing else could. The satisfaction of achieving the goals I’d set for myself years ago filled me with a glow that I had missed for a long while.

“Hey,” I said as Rhys parked a few blocks down from the bar. 

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks for not letting me give up all those months ago.”

“What are teammates for?” He asked, reminding me of the night he’d driven me far away from the horrid toxicity of that Halloween night. 

I leaned across the center console and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not what teammates are for, exactly, but I’d be stupid to argue against it,” he said, making me laugh before he captured my mouth with his again. 

-------------

THE END!!!

Thank you so SO much to everyone who has read this fic, from those of you who have been here for a while to those who are just now catching up to the end:) It was a joy to write and I can’t believe I followed through and finished it. 

Just FYI, I should be starting a new fic next week, called What To Expect When You’re (Not) Expecting. Check it out if you want some more Feysand;) 

THANKS EVERYONE LOVE YOU ALL BYEEEEE

Tags: 

@aknymph​ @queen-of-glass​ @sleeping-and-books​ @fabfire​

[spoliarium98]

"I'm really grateful to my fans. They are as precious as the air to me. We can't live without air, not even for a moment. Without fans, Super Junior can't also exist." - Leeteuk

 "You may say it's such nonsense, but I always liked Super Junior's balloon color. Pearl Sapphire Blue. Until pearl sapphire blue covers the entire planet, Super Junior will continue to perform." - Leeteuk

 "Our ELF, Ever.Lasting.Friends...the friends that walked beside Super Junior since we debuted and even the name of the fanclub, are all made from us. To say the truth, I used to not like blue, but after forming Super Junior && meeting ELF, no matter where I go there are people asking me what color I like, I will say I love sapphire blue. It is not ELF who was poisoned by Super Junior, it is Super Junior who was poisoned by ELF. Everytime the internet has some untruthful news, the fans tell us, 'Oppa, didnt you tell us you would be truthful to us? Why did you lie?' Truthfully, I feel very bad. I really want to go on a live show to tell everyone, 'ELF I AM INNOCENT! Why do you have to believe those words. Believe what I say!' But I was afraid, so I didnt say anything. I wanted to explain to everyone. When the members are sick, they cry together with us. When we are happy, they smile with us. Although there are a lot of high school students in ELF, but once Super Junior's age gets older and older ELF will also follow and get older and older. If Super Junior becomes an old group and come out to sing, ELF will bring their own kids and introduce us as their favorite hyung or oppa in the past. When I think of these times, I feel very happy. ELF && SUPER JUNIOR ARE INSEPARABLE. Life couples or partners. I LOVE YOU ALL!" - Kangin

 "When we feel very tired, and see everyone's happy smile from the stage, waiting for us, it gives us even more courage and become our strength. Although I am very thankful to the people that directly helped me, the people i should really thank is ELF." - Yesung

 "Just like the words ELF, they are everlastingfriends. I always assumed that nothing in this world could be everlasting, but everytime we feel tired, our fans always support us. When we, 13 members, as Super Junior debuted, even though we started as 12, we suffered through many suspicions of the skills of so many members. They asked, "Can they succeed? Can they do it?" A lot of people asked these questions. Changing the question mark into an exclamation mark was our ELF. Truthfully, many people around me also told me to not be stubborn about popularity and the responses of fans, and gave me a quote. "Popularity is only for a moment."I thought about what it really meant. Because I didn't know when popularity will come and go. If you are too stubborn about that. Then your hope is destroyed, you become tired. Or you reach your lowest point. You won't be able to get back up again. But I believe in every one of ELF. To me, I can believe. As long as there are the Super Junior members & ELF, Even though I usually see everyone on TV. It is not only because of Super Junior.If there was no ELF, I would become empty. To me, ELF is like Super Junior...they are my heart and lungs. I love you all <3" - Leeteuk

 "Our fans, ELF is where our strength comes from. Really, if there was no ELF, there would not be us. Without us, there would not be ELF as well. Like the dependence of Super Junior & ELF on eachother, I want everyone to feel like one. ELF and us come together as one, completing more and better stages & performances. I want it to start now. it is already the 2nd album now. We will be more hardworking until the day comes when ELF and us become one. Hope the will continue forever." - Shindong

 "Elf..many celebrities probably think that fanclubs are just fanclubs but there are other who don't. to me, it is not only a fanclub anymore. it has already become a very important existance. no matter if i'm having a hard or happy time, fans really give me alot of strength. i am really thankful to them. because of the fans, i have cried many times and have had many happy times. the same when i see the comments in the fancafe. the best elf fan of lee hyukjae. there are alot of comments like that. like this, i am very happy. very happy that people like me. of course I also sing for others but when i'm old i hope i can still sing and dance for all of the fans. i hope that we are not the same as other singers. hope that we can become even closer. every time we finish our performance, we think of ways to meet our fans more and play with them.ther are times when we let the staff become very tired, but it's because we love our fans so much.hope that we will forever maintain this kind of relationship." - Eunhyuk

 "Our elf is really too cute. in our group, because leeteuk is the leader, he lets me depend on him. but if i am alone without any members, my vigor truthfully comes from elf. if there was no elf, there would be inexpressible space the feeling of not knowing what to do and loneliness. our elf is like our SJ's everlastingfriends, our beloved girlfriends, lovers? this is what I think" - Sungmin

"ELF brings me self-confidence and courage. Because there is ELF, Super Junior can have something to depend upon, build up confidence, and create courage. ELF is a rest station that we can depend upon." - Kibum

 "The existence of ELF is like the heart and air of Super Junior. They are like the air that is most important for people to survive...It is like people who cannot live without air. We are the same. Without fans, we cannot survive. Like this, fans are the most important to me, just like air. " - Siwon

"Like the words say, ELF are like friends, like nunas, like hyungs, or dongsaengs. It seems like it is different from the past. Celebrities from the past have an invisible wall between them and their fans. They have a definite distance. But now, it really is like friends since the internet has developed. They can more or less see our personal lives. Although it is like this, they won't have a heart to satisfy themselves and get close to us. Instead they will worry about us and comfort us. It is also the same between E.L.F. If someone says, "Oh, today I did bad on my school exam," The other fans will encourage them. Looking at this, I am very happy. Even though it is because of Super Junior that ELF can gather together, They can also become good friends. And a very good affinity. We Thank you. Being able to blindly see us. ELF doing what bthey are supposed to; keeping with the rules. To say it again, the freedom of following rules is the most beautiful. Even though if there is no Super Junior, there would not be an ELF fanclub, if we turn to another perspective, the relationship has already become. If there is not ELF fanclub, there will not be SUPER JUNIOR." - Heechul

 "To. ELF, Super Junior's girlfriend that loves just Super Junior;

Since that time when we first met until now, there hasn't been a time when I didn't think of you.

You've always watched over us warmly, held our hand and picked us up when we fell. Told us not to cry and wiped our tears away when they fell.

Always moving us deeply by appearing anywhere like Superman without growing weary.

Telling us it's okay when we show an ugly side of us; thank you for even loving and caring for that side of us.

Because of you I feel like I am always smiling and crying.

Don't say the words "thank you" to us.

Because the people who are eternally thankful are us.

Again, thank you and thank you again.

Starting now as the time goes by, even when I'm 30 years, 40 years, 50 years old, I would like to remember and cherish this current time and smile.

Although there may be lots of dread, and many hard times coming up, I'll think of ELF and try to endure it all and work hard.

I will continue to ask for your favor.

Wherever, I will be the unashamed Donghae and Super Junior.

There's the thing that I always say, right?

This is something that I really ask of you, even if nothing else matters, please just don't be sick.

Let's make more amazing memories in 2008.

Once more I bow in thanks and I love you."

- Donghae

 "At this moment, I feel like I own the whole world.

Whether good or bad times. We've experienced it together.

Sometimes I feel apologetic and sorry to you all.

If we can be like now, crying and laughing together always

When I become older, we will all become older

So at that time, we will have to be together

because we exist for each other, right?

I love you all."

- Kangin

 "To me, it is an existence that cannot be missing. It is the strongest army in the roads upcoming. They give us lots of love. No matter if it's a happy or tough time, they will stand by our side. Even if we made a big mistake, they will stand by our side. It is an existence that we can't not have." - Kyuhyun

 "Can be described as partners? If there was no E.L.F, there wouldn't be me. Without me, there would not be E.L.F. They are friends that continue to have a good relationship with us. Everlasting Friends. All E.L.F. I really thank everyone." - Ryeowook

 "Thank you for making me shine." - Leeteuk

 "Because E.L.F exists, Super Junior is eternal." - Heechul

 "All the more important E.L.F. Thank you so much and I love you." - Hankyung

 "Everlasting, reliable defender, E.L.F...I love you." - Yesung

 "As like we started together, lets put up the end together." - Kangin

 "I hope we can be one forever." - Shindong

 "Super Junior can sing because of E.L.F's support." - Sungmin

 "You guys are so precious to me. Don't change..." - Eunhyuk

 "I will keep in my heart even after I die, the fact I met E.L.F." - Donghae

 "They are like oxygen." - Siwon

 "Everlasting friends that I can be with keeping a mutual relationship." - Ryeowook

 "They encourage me and inspire me." - Kibum

 "They are the existence that has to be there with us." - Kyuhyun

 "ELF: SUPER JUNIOR BELONGS TO ELF

SUJU: ELF BELONGS TO SUPER JUNIOR" Compiled by Allison (soompi)

[temporaryforeversfanfic]

Chapter 30

Queen

This was our second child but this was my first time really experiencing motherhood like this. Shai’s biological mother gave her up to Shad when she was little over a month old and I came back in the picture when she was almost four months so I missed those first few bonding months but the bond was still there of course. “Mommy can I hold the baby? Daddy said after lunch I can hold my baby!”

“Of course you can baby.” I smiled, picking her up to put her on me lap before reaching over to pick up SJ. She was so excited  to be holding him. “Isn’t he the cutest?” Her smile quickly turned into a frown. “What’s wrong baby?”

“I thought you said I was the cutest!” I assured her that they were both the cutest to me but that wasn’t good enough for her. “I don’t wanna hold the stupid ugly baby anymore!” She tried throwing him but luckily I was really the one holding him the entire time.

“Shai, what the hell has gotten into you?!” I yelled, causing SJ to cry and Shad to run in the rooms asking what’s wrong. Shai started crying on cue as soon as she saw her father. He tried to pick her up but I was not having it. “Put her down now, she tried to throw my damn baby!”

“I’m sure it’s all a big misunderstanding babe. Right Shai?” She nodded her head with a smile on her face and that sent me completely through the roof. SJ was now calm, allowing me to put him in his crib and deal with his bratty older sister.

“Come with me Shai. I’m taking away all your toys and limiting your TV time to one hour a day for the next week.” She began weeping again. “No ma’am not this time! You know what you did and I know what you did, so go to your room don’t come out until I say so!” I took her out of Shad’s arms then guided her in the direction of her room, making sure she made it there.

“A little harsh don’t you think” I looked at Shad like he was crazy. “She was so excited to hold him, I doubt she’d try to do anything to her him.”

“Well she did! She called him a stupid ugly baby then tried to throw him on the floor!” I was so mad at Shai right now, I couldn’t even think straight. “And then she decides to lie about it once you come around!”

I don’t know what was Shai’s issue but we needed to get her straighten out.

Leeyah

Tonight was the night of my fashion line’s launch. I’ve been so busy making sure everything was perfect for the fashion show and after party, I barely had any time to spend with my family. “ I can’t wait until tonight is finally over.” I huffed, looking over at my husband whom was making funny faces in the mirror. “I really miss spending time with you and the twins.”

 “I know babe.” He came over to me and started rubbing my belly. “Once tonight is over, we’ll go on that trip we been promising the kids. You know your daughter loves her some Minnie Mouse.” We promised them we’d take them to Disney World months ago but then life got just slightly a little more crazy for the Brown crew. “Plus with the new baby come, we might never get another chance to do this.”

 “You’re right, this is the perfect time to bring them. I’m not too big yet and we did make a promise.” Our conversation was cut short by my assistant coming in to tell us it was showtime. “Okay babe, I’ll see you in a few.” I pecked Chris lips then got up to get this show on a road. 

 ***

 It was after party time and everybody that was anybody came out to celebrate me. The fashion show went off without a hitch and I was over the moon with excitement. “We have to make a toast!” Q declared before waving for a waiter to bring over some champagne. “Did you guys know that this was my first office outing since having SJ?”

 “Me too!” Maya chimed in. “We are so happy for you Lee, seriously. This is a huge deal and we wish you all the success.” All three of us shared a group hung. 

 “Thank you guys so much. I know it was hard leaving your little babies at home but thank you for coming support me. I really do love y’all bitches!” Before we could get another word out, the music cut off.

 “Good evening ladies and gentlemen.” My husband stood on stage in front of our guest. “I just want to say a few words about my wife tonight; whom I am very proud of by the way.” Hearing him call me his wife still gave me a bubbly feeling. “When I first met my wife, many many years ago, she was this quiet girl that refused to talk to me.” The crowd began to laugh. “No seriously, all of our friends can vouch for me on that one!”

 “He ain’t lying!” Shad spoke out. 

 “See? I told y’all!” Chris laughed along with the crowd. “Now here we are today, married. It took us a long time to get here. It took me a lot up fuck ups to get here but I don’t regret it. Those life lessons made us what we are today.” I smiled at the special attention I was receiving from my husband. “I say all this to say that Leeyah Brown, you are my everything. You’re my best friend and I am so incredibly proud of the woman you are today. You supported me when I couldn’t even support myself. You believed in me when I’d lost all faith in myself. So here’s to my beautiful wife, the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.” 

 After that speech, there wasn’t a dry eye in the building, including mine. I mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him while he was still on the stage. Expecting him to meet me half way, I made my way over to the stage. “Before I let you guys go tonight, I would almost like to sing a song for y’all, if that’s okay.” Of course everyone yell for him to sing. “This is a song I wrote about my wife after we had our very first fight. 

 What the hell babe,  Damn I ain't never felt this way  Somebody, somebody, tell me I don't have a clue what to do  When it comes to you  Baby, you're so beautiful  Every time I see you girl, it throw me off It's so unusual  For me to be waiting  But I don't want to blow it girl,  But you should know this girl

 I’ve heard Chris singing this song a hundred times but I never knew it was about me.

 I'm not gonna be the one to mess this up  Cause I done effed up in love before,   I'ma be the one to take a back seat girl  We can take our time and you can run this,  Stay in, go out,  Anything you want girl, we can do  Girl are we going down,  I don't know,  But from here now baby I'm gone leave that up to you,  I'ma leave it up to you

 My husband definitely had a way with words.

Chris

 I’ve been trying my hardest to contain myself all night at the Leelee’s clothing launch party. The way the dress she wore hugged her curves did something to me on a spiritual level, I just can’t explain it. Now we were home; alone, and I could finally do all the things I fantasized about all night. “What are you staring at Christopher?” She asked, snapping me out of my trance. I took that has my cue to get up from the bed and grab her by the waist.

 “I’m looking at you. Is it a problem?” She couldn’t help but smirk at my smart response. “And what if I said there was a problem?” She said with that same devilish grin on her face. 

“You tryna start something Mr. Brown?” Before I could answer, she pushed me on the bed with one swift motion. “You’re always the one in control, it’s my turn.”

 She went over to the lights and dimmed it to set the mood. “You think you can handle that?” I knew taunting her would only make her more determined to see her plans through.

 Making her way back over to me, she crawled over my y’all frame seductively, never breaking eye contact. She started at my neck, planting soft sweet kissing from my ear to my collar bone, making sure to add in a few nibbles here and there. As my hands roamed her body, I thought about how beautiful my wife is. She was almost three months along but you couldn’t really tell. She looked that good. She kissed all down my body until get got to my dick.

 “Woah!” I stopped her. “You don’t have to do that babe.” I’m a man, of course I enjoyed getting my some head every once in a while but Leeyah was my wife now and I’d hate for her to fell like I was trying to disrespect her. “It’s my turn anyhow.”

 Before she could protest, I gently flipped her over. Planting kisses down her body, I didn’t stop until I reached her spot. Soft moans slipped from her lips as I took my time making sure no spot went untouched. Her legs began to shake uncontrollably, that’s how I knew it was ready to cum. Before she could, she pushed me over so that I was on my back. Climbing on top, she positioned her body on top of mine, allowing me to enter. 

 “Shit!” We moaned together. She began bounce up and down, grinding her hips in perfect motion. Moments later we came together. She was knocked out before I could even leave to clean myself off.

 ***

 I woke up around ten the next morning for my eleven o’clock meeting with my team. Leeyah was still sleep so I just let her be.

 “We have a really wonderful offer for you Mr. Brown. I think you and Mrs. Brown will be very excited about this.” That sort of peaked my interest a bit so I nodded for them to continue. “Essence Magazine wants to do a special on the Brown family. 

 “Wow. That’s major!” I was truly in awe. I knew my family something like this would come up eventually but it was still a surprise. “I’ll talk things over with my wife to see how she feels about it. I’m sure she’d be excited, I know I am!” 

 I couldn’t wait to get back home and tell Leeyah about this.