#He got those men in their damn underwear to fight monsters…

[flaskuwu]

I like when people make head canons of Ganondorf just being some guy or like working with Link and Zelda because there’s a bigger threat. I think there was something like the in Smash Bros brawl too

[blueroan-equestrian]

The Girl with the Hippogriff

Smut warning it’s a more a brush over

So I didn’t know how exactly I wanted to end it so I went with something similar to ‘and that’s how I met your mother’ but not quite

I am a sorceress who live up on a mountain with nothing but a hippogriff to keep me company. I have no need for anyone, my hippogriff, Atlas, keeps me safe catches me meat and the ground fertil. All I could want I can get right here even clothes and shoes from traveling trades men. I have lived like this for a long time, humans are often afraid or jealous of what they are not and provoke violence when they come across a being that is different than themselves. So I choose solitude rather than having to watch my back all the time.

I am gathering wild flowers from the the tall grass in front of my house, when I first heard the dristress cry of my Atlas. “Atlas! Atlas come!” I yelled out as I dropped my basket and began to run back further up the mountain towards his cry’s, “Atlas come!” I called again as I continued to run towards his calls. After what felt like an eternity his strong wings brought him to me. He had a bloody rope around his neck and seemed to be bleeding behind his ear. “Oh no! Who’s done this to you? Come let’s go back to the cabin and get you patched up. We’ll be safe there.” I bring him into his room and onto his nest where I carefully take off the the tight rope that was bound around his neck. I took some potions and began to heal his wounds before wrapping some bandaging around him. “Who would have been so stupid to go after you?” I groaned getting up and going into my living room/ kitchen. “Well you stay there and rest I’m going to see what is out there.”

I headed out to climb back up the mountain. Before I could reach halfway there a very muscular, dark haired man, carrying a sword on his back, and one in his hand appeared from the other side. I only snapped my fingers and he was in front of me, “Drop the sword and I will consider not setting you on fire.”

He raised his eyebrows but didn’t argue, he just dropped it, “I didn’t mean to frighten you ma’am, I’m just trying to profill a contract for the town a little ways over for a...”

“Hippogriff...” I finished for him.

“Yes, do you have the same problem?”

“No I have the opposite problem.” I snarked.

He tilted his head, “the opposite?” He questioned.

“Yeah, those fuckin townspeople are going to get theirs. Atlas has never stolen anything from them but you can tell them now they are fair game and if Atlas doesn’t take em I will now! Atlas is my hippogriff and I be damned if you think you can hurt him. I raised him and he would never hurt anyone and you should be ashamed of yourself!” I snarled.

He chuckles and flashes a cheeky smile, “Strong and passionate, I like that in a woman. A woman who has fight is a very attractive woman.” He moved so that we were practically standing chest to chest.

I glared up at the tall handsome man and gave him a quick once over, “Well I wish I could say the same but all I see is a dog with a bark that is worse than it’s bite. Well go on, leave before I decide to turn my fury on you as well.”

He laughed loudly, “You are a feisty little one, but I am willing to bet your bark is also worse than your bite.”

I smirked, “Usually that would be true but this matter involves my Atlas and I am slow to forgive those who harm my beloved Atlas.”

He tilted his head back with a grin, “I understand but I am not disagreeing with you or fighting you with this but perhaps I can convince you to talk about your Atlas with me and why the towns people have such an adversion to him.”

“I presume it’s the same answer to their adversion to you., Witcher.” I contorted crossing my arms.

He laughed heartily, “Girl you’re funny, but I can’t say that you’re wrong.”

His relaxed posture and easy going attitude made it easier to relax and not want to kill him for his crime. I wave for to follow me, “Well come on.”

He followed me but he kept a little bit of distance between us, probably more for my sake than his. I led him to my cabin and stopped at the door and said, “No sudden movements, okay? I mean it, Atlas won’t take kindly to the intrusion. But he won’t hurt you if I’m there but still no sudden movement you got me?” He gives a quick nod before following me into the cabin. Atlas immediately clocked onto the Witcher and looked at me like ‘what the fuck mom!’

“I believe you have something to say to Atlas...unless you’re the rude sort.” I say as I turned to him with an expecting look.

“You’re right,” he says with a little nod, “I am sorry for trying to wrongly persecute you. I am sorry.”

“Thank you... Mr....?” I questioned.

“Eskel, ma’am. And might I ask who might you be?”

“(Y/n), now, you hungry?”

“Yes ma’am.” he hummed as he sat at the kitchen table and I went about making us a meal to share. I am not much of a cook but he ate it up without complaint. We ate together but we didn’t talk we just ate. I cleared the table and go to wash the dishes but Eskel quietly moved in to take over cleaning up. As he washed up I went into Atlas’ room to check on him before returning to the room with the Witcher. “So Witcher, tell me how exactly is my Atlas only maimed and not dead if you got ahold of him? And how exactly is it you got ahold of him?”

Eskel turned to look at me, “Well... your hippogriff is oddly trusting.”

“And yet you continued to try to kill him? Even though he posed no threat?” I questioned as I put a hand on my hip.

He raised his eyebrows, “He’s a monster and I’m a Witcher.”

“Who says so? Who decides who is a monster and who is not? There are plenty who would say you are a monster.”

“Perhaps I should have said beast, instead.”

“Who’s to say it isn’t you who’s the beast!”

“I just can’t win with you can I?” He laughed shaking his head. “But you have to admit your hippogriff is an anomaly.”

“Yes I know. So what happened? Why is he only wounded then, Mr. I am a Witcher.”

“Well once I roped him and he realized his situation... well he is rather strong and even when I striked him, he waisted no time retaliating, he just used all his strength to pull and flew away. I will give you that he is different and I will tell the villagers that I am turning down the contract.” He says as he shifts his weight.

I smile, “Good, then I am glad I didn’t act rashly.”

He smiles back, “I am too, though I suppose when it’s my time, I wouldn’t mind if it was at the hands of a beautiful woman such as yourself.” He takes a step my way and I do the same.

I reached out to touch his chest, “What lies underneath this armor of yours? Why don’t you take it off and let me take care of you?”

He smirks and leans down and plants a deep kiss on my lips, “I have to turn you down, though as tempting as it may be. Perhaps next time we cross paths, but I would have to be foolish to take you up on it now.” He chuckles.

I give him a coy smile, “Maybe, but be careful when you go back to the town empty handed, but I am sure that you can handle yourself in the midst of an angry mob.”

...

A decade goes by before I see him again. I still live on my mountain with Atlas when he came and knocked on the door. “Eskel, what a surprise.” I hummed. “Come in.”

“Still on a mountain with the hippogriff huh?” He chuckles.

“Shut up and get in here.” I remarked back.

He sat at my table and I made us something to eat. He told me about his travels. This time around he said he was in need of lodging and I was more than happy to allow him to stay with me. “You can take my bed, I have no problem sleeping with Atlas in his nest.”

“Oh well I wish you would come warm the bed with me.” He says with a wicked smile.

“Oh? Well I wouldn’t want my guest to be cold.” I purred.

Eskel was surprisingly a snuggly person. He got into bed and laid behind me pulling me close in his arms. Sleeping with me in the most innocent of ways. He stayed with me for a period of time. In that time every night he would wrap me up in his arms. He grew on Atlas. The two now could sit in the sun together at ease as I gather up various herbs and tall grass. Eskel would sometimes go out and hunt. He would let Atlas join him and Atlas just loved tagging along. The sight Eskel with a big ol hippogriff prancing after him like some sort of gigantic dog, holding whatever their kill was in his beak. Atlas no matter what was proud to show off their spoils. Eskel would smile and laugh as Atlas would trot around him and then to me. So when Eskel asked me to come with him to stay the winter at the place he grew up in, I agreed.

Eskel put me up on his horse behind the saddle so that I could hold onto him. Atlas can’t walk great distances so he alternated between walking and flying.

We reached the fortress and I called Atlas to come down and walk with us so that any of Eskels ‘brothers’ would see him alone and try to take him down. But Eskel assured me he would make clear Atlas was not to be harmed. The two he called brothers teased him but it was clear that they cared for one another. At night I slept in an old bed with Eskel. I might live on a mountain but this was by the ocean and it was so much colder. “Are you alright?” Eskel asked as he moved to get a fire started.

Scurrying under the covers of his bed and peaked out, “Freezing, my toes just might fall off.” I giggled.

He stripped down to his underwear and says, “Well let me help you warm up then.”

“Eskel! You’ll freeze, put some clothes on!!!” I giggled girlishly.

Eskel practically jumped on me pressing kisses all over my face and neck. “I don’t know baby girl, I think it might get too hot if you ask me. All we have to do is get a little movement going. What do you say?”

His hands had already started to push up my dress, “Mmm well then what are you waiting for? Keep me warm.”

“Yes ma’am.” He growled as he latched his lips to my neck as began to grind down on me as he pushed my dress far enough up to expose me to him. I reached down to release him. Eskel was the kind of lover that set you on fire with a single touch. He was giving and sweet. He took it slow like he was worshipping my body. It was sensual and meaningful. When we both met our peaks were sweaty messes, we snuggled up and fell asleep.

I woke up to Eskel running a hand through my hair as he softly hummed a melody. “Good morning.” I whispered.

He smiles, “Good morning my sweet.”

“What was that you were humming?”

“Oh.... it’s the lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was little.” He says with what sounded like sadness in his voice.

I smiled and reached out to return the affection, I gently caressing his hair back. “What do you want for breakfast, I can make anything you want.”

He smiles and with out saying a single word Eskel sunk under the covers and moved in between my legs. His warm breath hit my womanhood sending up surge of excitement through me. I moaned at just the idea of what he was about to do. He flicks his tongue out and made contact. I let out a gasp encouraging him to continue his work. The louder I got the more intense he got. He had me screaming his name as I met my end. He crawled back up me with a big grin, his lips and chin covered in my juices. His swiped at his lips cleaning it off. He leans down and kisses at my neck before he rolled over humming, “You’ve out done yourself, best breakfast yet.”

I giggled as I sat up to straighten my dress and then get fully dressed. “Alright, what do you actually want to eat?”

“Eggs.” He says as he stretched out relaxing.

“Alright I’ll be right back.” I promised before portaling home to make us something to eat. Once I had managed collecting what I needed from town I work quickly to cook the meal and get back to Eskel.

Eskels smile is like sunshine. The room was practically lit up by just his smile. “Breakfast, I hope I didn’t take to long.”

“Not at all my sweet.” He adjust himself so that he was leaning on the wall behind the bed, “now get in bed with me gorgeous I’m cold.”

Eskel took our finished plates and set them aside before he rolled over me and initiated another round of gentle and sweet sex.

....

That’s how I met him, my husband, Eskel.

[merci-bitch]

I Can Make You Love Me

Riza’s girl part ll 

Riza Stavropol x Fem!Reader

Genre: Drama, small hint of NSFW, angst

Words: 3k

Warning(s): knife mark, small hint of smut, cursing, manipulation, angst

A/N: well, I’m surprised I even finished this. This doesn’t particularly mean I’m back but I’ve been fighting my own stuff but I’m starting to come back at least haha. I haven’t read through it so sorry if there’s any misspelling or stuff. Anyways, enjoy!

I was soaked in a pool of sweat and the heat blazing down from the sun on us through her widow didn't make the situation any better. I felt like I was in a sauna and I definitely felt tired. I could feel Riza's piercing blue eyes like the clear waters of Greece targeting me. Marking me.

"Well, how was it?" I rolled over on my side to look at her. I had two options, of an answer. One would please her very much and the other one, meh. It would piss her off.

"Terrible." I mussed sarcastically. I watched the cocky smirk on her face fade and I let out a laugh. "You little bitch!" She playfully smacked my ass. "Naughty girl, aren't you?" She bit her bottom lip and watched me carefully.

"When I want to be." I smiled. Riza leant her head down and crashed her own lips onto mine. Her teeth bitting my bottom lip for an entry to my mouth. Hesitantly, I opened my mouth and felt her tongue mix with my own. She was dominating me. When she pulled away we were both panting and she looked satisfied. "I take it back. My good girl." She pulled me close and caressed my face.

I felt content in her arms but I was still on edge. "Darling?" She loosened her grip on me and cubbed my cheek with her hand. "What's wrong?" I looked down before answering. "I-sorry, I'm just...I'm just a little worried about H."

"H?" She looked angry and kinda surprised. "We just had sex and now you're thinking of H?!" She sat up.

"R-Riza, I didn't mean-"

"Oh no, my darling. You did mean it. You most certainly did. I told you he's an asshole, Y/N. I told you he's no good." Her eyes gleamed with malicious intent and I felt scared. Scared she was going to hurt me even worse then she already did.

"You still love him, don't you?" Riza was almost on the border of yelling. "Don't you?!" She got in my face and that's when I pushed her off of me.

"No! But I still care about him and he's trying his best. He's the only person I have left who's like family to me and don't I have the right to feel anyway I want? Or do you own that too." I knew that I was playing with fire but despite the fear I had for Riza, she was so beautiful when she was mad. I couldn't help but love it. How her nose would curl, adorable.

"Yes. You do but not when we're in the middle of something ourselves! For example, finishing sex! You love me, don't you?" She started to sound desperate.

"Riza-"

"You want me. The way you've never wanted anyone befo-"

"You know I do but I told you, I believe in chances and right now? You're about to lose yours. As soon as I said those words, Riza's face dropped. A part of me regretted what I had said. She looked hurt. Betrayed. She lied down again and turned her back towards me. "Riza...Riza, I'm sorry."

"I'm not speaking to you." She said after a few minutes. Her tone was cold and it made me feel uncomfortable. "Riza, I didn't mean to hurt you but I'm worried."

"Worried about him? Worried about that fucking traitor? He's a jerk. I told you that." She spun around and looked at me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you but I care about you, okay? I care about you more then I've cared about anyone in a while and I don't want to lose you. Her eyes turned soft.

"You won't lose me, okay? I care about you too, but I can at least have the right to know that he's alright." Riza let out a sigh. "If I tell you he's alright, will you leave the topic be?" She kissed my nose and help me tight to her. "..Yes." I breathed inwardly.

"Then he's fine. I promise." Despite the anxiety I felt, I trusted her words and slowly began to snuggle into her. "Thank you." She ran her fingers through my hair and gave my forehead a kiss. "Get some rest." I nodded my head and clutched onto her tightly. She was so warm and smelled so sweet despite all the sweat she was caked in. "I love you."

"I love you too, my precious girl."

***

"You bitch! This is the final straw!"

"We'll see about that."

H looked down at the ground, frowning as he'd seen you coming in and out of consciousness. "You hurt her Riza! Why would you do that? I told you that this is between you and me."

"But it's not though." She kicked the ground, showing off her tone legs through her silk dress. "Haven't you missed me, H?"

"Missed you? The thought of you repulses me. Especially now. You're lucky I haven't killed you after what you did." H said as he slowly started backing down the hallway and Riza chuckled. "Oh pretty boy, you forget that I can read you like the back of my hand." Riza pressed her body close to him and pinned him to the wall.

"Not anymore. I'm a changed person." She held his face in her hands and smiled. "Sure you are." Riza slipped one of her hands underneath his shirt, scratching the bare skin of his chest. His eyes rolled back and Riza couldn't help but smile. "And you say I don't know you."

"Riza-" He meet her eyes almost as if he was in a trace. "H." She mumbled. Their lips nearly grazed each other when H noticed her extra arm moving around him. "What are you-"

BAM!

The smashed barrel of her gun hit the top of his head. H looked puzzled for a moment and Riza smiled, pushing him away from her. "How did you-" He slurred his words before dropping to the ground.

***

"Oh come on, H! One more dance, please!" H winced at the high pitched voice of the woman that had her arm wrapped around his waist but tolerated it. He was hammered from all the alcohol he had been drinking but who could blame him?

It was a long dat at the agency and he needed a break from it all. "Amanda, I would say yes but I'm afraid I'm spent for the night an I must get going."

"But H-"

"No Amanda. Now if you'll excuse me-" H turned around and walked straight into the chest of two alien men. "You're the agency scum that got your hands on our girl?"

The question took him off guard. Their girl? "What, I-I! Know? Come on guys that would be ridiculous." He chuckled nervously. "Wouldn't it?"

The two men in front of him didn't seem amused. The one bulkier grabbed him by his throat and pressed him against the wall. "You calling me liar?"

"No! I-I..." H felt the blood circulating through him becoming less and less. "Let him be, Dorian. He's with me. Aren't you, darling?"

H choked on his own breath and looked up at the face of savior. It was a woman, and she was beautiful. "My apologies, Riza." She let out a humming noise and pulled a blaster out of her silk dress. H got a quick glimpse of her sheer underwear and felt himself swell up with lust.

"Sure." Riza shot him and screams of panic were erupted inside the bar. H just sat there on the ground looking at her confusedly until he noticed she had extended her hand out towards him. "Shall we?"

Despite how wrong he knew it was, he took her hand and walked out the bar with her hand in hand. "What's your name handsome?"

"H. Agent H."

"Oh, an agent. Well, I'm Riza. Riza Stavros."

"Riza, it's nice to meet you."

"Likewise." She hummed. They come across a tan, Moroccan style building and Riza smiled. "I would take you back to my place, but sadly. I'm on business."

"Of course." Riza grabbed the keys out of her bra and unlocked the door, kicking off her heels right as she stepped in the door. H was baffled by her. He was sure she had to be one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. "Sit, darling." Riza gestured to the couch as she rummaged through one of the cabinets of her hotel room. Pulling out a glass tumbler.

"You drink whiskey?" She looked over at H while holding up the bottle. "Yes, thank you." She poured him a glass and poured one for herself and sat down next to him on the couch and handed him his glass. H took a taste, it burned his throat at first but left a smooth aftertaste.

“So what’s an agent like yourself doing here?”

The alcohol burned in his throat but left a sweet aftertaste. He thought carefully before responding. Though he didn’t know what good it would do. It was like Riza was staring into his soul. “Looking for a good time, I suppose.”

“Good time with the wrong woman, my dear.” She caressed his cheek with the back of her thumb and smiled. “You’re such a beautiful man, aren’t you? Pretty boy.” Riza said while crawling onto his lap. H didn’t know what to do or what to say. He was shell shocked and drunk.

Riza peppered kisses on his face and down his throat and H moaned. “Lustful for me already, aren’t you?” H didn’t respond. Part of him wanted to shove the woman on top of him aside but he just, couldn’t. She was just too, goddess like. “Y-Yes.”

***

H woke up, rubbing the back of his head. Shaking his head. That’s when he realised, he was stuck to a bloody chair. After minutes of fighting with the ties, he got lose and stood up. H’s iconic smile back on his sweet baby face. “Never do know how to tie me up, now do you Riza.”

H slowly walked out the room, moving around slowly. Begging for that big blue teddy monster not to walk around the corner. Coast is clear. H walked down the long hallway and despite the years since he’d been here. He almost no trouble finding his way around. All those drunk nights with Riza. Her hands scratching up his chest, back. Her sweet lips on his-no. Not this time. Get Y/N and get out of here.

H was too deep in thought, missing a step. “Shit!” Covering his mouth quickly. Looking around. Surprise, no one was around. H shakes his head again and continued down the hallway and took a sharp left turn. There was a door, cracked open. Hesitantly H opened it.

“Oh god.” H said as he turned back around. There she was, Y/N. But naked. He’d never seen her naked before. H felt his cheeks grown hot, like some middle  aged school boy. Damn Riza, for getting them into this. H knew that Y/N was going to be embarrassed when she saw him. If, she ever got to see him of course,

H didn’t trust Riza as far as he’d known her. How the hell did he know that she wasn’t fake sleeping?

Hesitantly he walked over to Y/N and shook her, softly. H didn’t wanna wake her almost. So looked so peaceful when she was asleep. Y/N let out a small groan and opened her eyes. “H..? Oh my god! H!” Her arms flew around his neck. H tensed his shoulders. He didn’t know if he should hug her back or not, afraid of upsetting her. “Riza told me you were alright but I thought I’d never see you again!” Ever so carefully, H ran his hand through Y/N’s soft hair. Glancing over at Riza. “Well, she definitely isn’t awake. That’s for sure. Or I’d be dead by now.”

H couldn’t help the thoughts about Y/N. Damn Riza for making him think this way about her! “Look Y/N, we don’t have much time. We need to get out of here. Your clothes?” Y/N pointed to the end of the bed. H tossed Y/N her clothes and let her get changed. H helped Y/N our of the bed, that’s when Riza stirred. Both H and Y/N panicked. The balcony! They both walked out on it and Y/N pushed H to the side.

“Now why on earth would you do that?” Riza’s deep and raspy voice sent shivers down both H and Y/N’s spines. “Do what?” Y/N asked. Riza walked up to Y/N. “This.” She gestured to her clothed body. The moon was shining on her skin, highlighting the most seductive parts.

“It felt weird to run around naked.” Riza ran her hand up Y/N’s sides. Placing one of her hands on her breast. Kneading it softly. Starting to fumble with her jeans. “I can make it more comfortable for you if you like.” Y/N let out a soft moan and leaned her head back against Riza’s collarbones. H wanted to throw up at the sight of it. The smell of sex permeating off of Riza. This scene was getting almost too nostalgic for him. H tried his very best not to let his eyes wander with how Riza’s hand touched Y/N’s body. How her mouth would launch for her throat and leave small marks.

“Why don’t you come back inside, sweetheart. Hm? What do you say.” Riza’s voice was like honey running. “Riza, we just did it. There’s no need to do it again.” H could hear Riza scoff. “You can’t be serious. It’s sex darling. Something you could do a whole day. And I’ve got a very busy day in a few hours. I need something to calm me down.” H felt himself gag. He took a few steps back and accidentally made a plant fall. Riza snapped her head around. “Oh you’re fucking kidding me. LUCA!” Riza tied her rope around herself and grabbed Y/N’s arm and dragged her inside and once again, H found himself fighting with an old friend.

—

“Am I some sort of joke to you?!” Riza screamed at my face. I shaked my head. Tears burning in the back of my eyes. Riza’s cheeks burning up with anger. Riza took steps back and threw her hands on her sides and scoffed and grabbed the wine bottle on her office table. “R-Riza..?” She threw the cork across the room. “Shut up. Just fucking shut up. You humans, fucking useless.” She scoffed again and started drinking directly from the wine bottle. I sat down, pulling my knees to my chest. This could only go bad.

After 3 wine bottles, she was finally starting to get tipsy. Tipsy Riza was alright, but if it was drunk angry Riza. Run for your fucking life. Where was H when you needed him?!

“Oh drop it, H won’t come this time for you. He’d be dead before he can even spell your fucking name.” Riza held the bottle to her chest and laughed out loud. This wasn’t fun anymore. “Awh, is the little human scared? You want your mommy?” She started taking small steps towards me. Making me back away slowly, towards the stone wall. The floor cold, dirty. Filled with smashed glass. She got down on her knees and crawled towards me. Giving me a good view of her cleavage. My back was against the wall, her nose touching mine. Her eyes dark and cloudy.

“Scared little puppet? Huh? Yeah? Yes!” Her voice, getting higher and higher, and she was getting more insane. “You humans don’t understand anything. Fucking pathetic!” She got even closer. She was a living nightmare. “R-Riza...” With a shaking hand, I reached up and cupped her cheek, only for her to grab my wrist and pull me up and drag me to her desk where she grabbed a knife.

“Riza, no. Let go of it!” She held out my arm and looked at me with blinded eyes and started carving the letter ‘R’ into my skin. Screaming out in pain, pushing her away. Holding my wrist, covering it up in the paper I could find. Riza turned back around and looked at me. Seeing the tears spilling down my cheeks, the blood moving down my arm. She dropped the knife. Her own hands starting to shake. “Y-Y/N, o-oh my god.”

She reached out for me, only for me to move away. Her eyes filling with panic. “I-I don’t know what came over me. Y/N, please let me help.” I shook my head and got up. “No. I’m not letting you help me. I loved you Riza, but this, this is not the Riza I loved.” Her breath shaky. “Wait, no. Please. I can make it up to you. I can love you just as good as he can!” I shook my head. “Riza no. You can see yourself. This is never gonna work.” She shook her head and walked up to me and cubbed my cheeks.

“I can make it work. I can make you love me.”

[91whiskeygirl]

Hell Hound and Baby

An inspired chapter out of Season 12, enjoy!

**Clearly this has been fit to where reader can be inserted, don’t look too deep into it fam.**

Your y/e/c eyes shot open, the silence in the bunker deafened a ringing in your ears. Yawning and stretching out on your bed you tried to refocus your vision. Reaching for your phone to see it was 10am you see a text notification from Sam.

“Made it to the last pit stop, should be there in a few hours -Yeti”a grin swept across your face.

It was delivered three hours ago, making you jump off of your bed. You had cleaned the bunker top to bottom due to your anxiety taking you over. You were always restless whenever you couldn’t go with them on a hunt, but the boys assured you it was just a normal milk run.

They could be driving into the garage any minute, so you freshen up quickly in the bathroom then make your way to the kitchen. Popping waffles into the toaster and heating up the stove to make a huge omelet for the three of you. Digging into the fridge for the last of the bacon, you reached for your favorite creamer as well so you could start your coffee. Whenever you needed to calm your nerves you could be found in the kitchen making a meal for everyone. Thanks to your muscle memory of working at a restaurant when you were just a normal girl barely surviving on minimum wage. After the horsemen came through your town, you miraculously survived thanks to the Winchester’s. They’d taken you under their wing since you were the only survivor in the whole town, your friends all dead. You had no family, so naturally you had nowhere to go.

Now, in the Men of Letters bunker years later, you never thought your life would be this complete 180. Fighting the supernatural and saving lives. Lately there wasn’t a lot of saving, but if you were honest with yourself as long as the boys came home with you in one piece you counted it as a win.

Finishing off the bacon sizzling in the pan you placed everything on the dining table, adjusting the placemats and silverware to make sure everything was in order. Content with the appearance of your food you grabbed your coffee mug and took a swig, then you heard muffled voices coming into the bunker.

“No don’t don’t don’t-!” Sam exclaimed.

You heard Dean reply “What?”

You made your way to their voices and saw him sitting in the library layered in blood and chunks of meat.

“Dude! You’re covered in ghoul, and wraith- I think that’s some siren in your hair?” Sam pointed to his own head while Dean fished out a piece of skin flap, and flicked it.

“Haha, gross”

“Hey! I just cleaned yesterday” you pouted, holding your mug close to your chest.

The boys looked your way. Sam clearly annoyed at his brother but grinning at you.

“Hey, we’re back” he said.

“Yeah, with a dirty Dean. Let me guess, you didn’t even pack enough underwear did you?” You sipped on your coffee and gave Dean a judgemental glare.

Sam let out a heavy sigh “He’s been wearing the same pair of underwear for FOUR DAYS”, your eyes widened with disgust. Dean looked to Sam and pointed at you then his brother. “Ok, weird how you know how much underwear I pack and B, it’s two and two”

“Two and two?” You asked.

“Doesn’t count if you flip’em inside out” clicking his tongue and giving you a smirk and a wink. As dirty as he was right now he’d only given you that flash of a smile and you felt like jello. You rolled your eyes, grimacing at the rotting scent he was giving off into the air.

An alert from Sam’s phone went off,

“ Got another case”

“That fast? How’d you do that” Dean’s quizzical brow furrowed.

Sam replied ,“ Simple algorithm I made that scrapes the data from police scanners, emergency calls and local news sites and then it puts everything into a -“

Dean stared blankly at his brother.

“The computer told him .” You giggled softly.

“Computers. Monsters, porn, is there anything they can’t do?” He chuckled. “Ok let’s get to it then”, he slaps the table and starts to stand up.

“Ah uh, not until you’ve had a nice, long hot shower and a change of fresh clothes”you pointed out to him, your eyes looking at him from bottom to top.

He shrugged “I’ve got baby wipes in the car”

“Dean, no.” You declared.

“DUDE, I’m serious man, you smell like roadkill.” Sam told him.

“Monster roadkill” you added. You turned to make your way back to the kitchen. “Catch up with me and Sam for some grub after your shower”.

You swayed your hips a little before disappearing. Sam glances at Dean who enjoyed the view of you walking away and they exchanged a silent look. Sam knew how his brother checked you out whenever you weren’t looking. “Shower ; Dean.” Sam told him, following your path to a hearty meal.

“Alright, I’m using that fancy shampoo that you keep hidden from me” Dean says as he walks out of the library.

Not a lot of conversation between any of you at the dining table, they clearly missed a home cooked meal. You gave them a small smile while working on your second cup of coffee. “So where’s the case?” You asked finally. Sam looked up swallowing his last bite. “Nebraska.”, “K, I’ll go get packed.” Dean looked up, mouth still full, shaking his head at you.

“I think you should still sit out sweetheart, it might not be a regular milk run”.

“Like hell I should sit it out Dean, I haven’t seen y’all in four days!” You gave him puppy eyes and placed your hand under your chin. He always gave in to that. A loud sigh came out of him “FINE, but you need to lay low because I don’t need to be worrying about you like I already do.”

You giggled excitedly and went towards your room to pack.

Within 20 minutes you met them at the impala with your FBI suit. You wouldn’t personally call it a suit, since you always had difficulty with it, mostly because the only size they had at the last store was a pencil skirt and it always rode up your ass, so you had to either use skimpy underwear or none at all. You saw Dean shaven and in his own monkey suit, you made your way to the back seat but before you climbed in you remarked to him “You clean up nice.” Biting your bottom lip.

“You too, love the uh, “ he leaned to the side and gave your backside a glance, catching himself he straightened up quickly hoping you hadn’t noticed. “The skirt.” You blushed a little and made your way into the car. “Yeah, we’ll if it didn’t ride my ass all day maybe I’d love it too” giving him a wink at his astonished face. He knew you weren’t quick with words, and in a flirty situation you were always awkward, so he was surprised with your comeback.

Finally reaching the scene the two Winchester’s made their way to the sheriff, you stayed behind catching up with Mary on what she was up to.

“We just finished a haunting in Akron, pretty cut and dry, nothing for you all to worry about over me.” Mary’s voice was one of your many favorite comforts. After meeting her and helping her get used to today’s society you both grew close like mother and daughter pretty quickly. “That’s great to hear Mary, I’m glad your safe and well. We’re working a case up in Nebraska, it’s wet and cold and the boys as usual wanted me to stay back at the bunker. I hadn’t seen them in days and I was bored out of my mind”. You looked out the window towards where you saw they were talking to the sheriff, walking into some bushes where the murder took place.

“It’s good that you’re with them you know. They need a woman to straighten them up. Listen I’ve got to go, but tell my sons I love them. You take care too alright?”

“Of course, stay safe.” You hung up and adjusted your seating placement. “Damn leather seats and short skirts!” You hissed.

The car doors opened with a loud creak , Sam and Dean jump in you cling to the front seat to hear the information they gathered. “We got a lead?”

“Gwen Hernandez, she said it was an ‘invisible wolf’, and that it’s out to get her next” Sam replied. You looked over to Dean to try to read him, but his stern face was all you got back at you. “Hell hound “ you said softly, just saying those words had your skin covered in goosebumps. “Most likely,” Sam replied, “I’m gonna get the address of Gwen’s home” Sinking back into his phone.

Reaching the neighborhood Dean stopped across the street from Gwen’s house. Sam started across the road, when you started to climb out you were stopped by Dean’s callous hand on yours on the door.You gave him a hard stare, “I can help Dean. “

“Just enjoy the ride y/n, we got this”

“What are you two gonna say? Hi I’m Sam and this is my much more handsome brother Dean and we hunt monsters, we’re here to save you from an invisible dog??” You blabbered out.

His brows shot up and a smiled curled on to his lips while you two locked eyes. “You think I’m more handsome.”

You gulped and climbed out, your bodies close enough to where you could smell Sam’s shampoo and Deans cologne.

“The whole two and two underwear thing, really gave me the hots for you.” You said sarcastically. You didn’t see Dean’s face since you were quick to neutralize the tension you’d felt but he was trying his best not to react to your involuntary compliment, while checking out your thick thighs hugging your skirt as you walked across the street.

You knocked firmly on the door and Gwen answered, the inside lock still latched.

You smiled softly and showed your badge.

“Miss Hernandez? I’m agent Martinez, this is agent Baker and Clapton. May we come in to ask just a few quick questions about Marcus?”

She looked to the three of you reluctantly but closed the door sliding the dead bolt, and let you in.

“Thank you. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

She motioned to have you sit in the living room.

“Uh, you can have a seat.”

Sam and Dean chose the seats opposite of the couch, making your choice to sit by Gwen.

Sam began to explain to her that it was a bear that attacked her boyfriend, and that they had found it and put it down. Her eyes glazed over.

“I know what I saw”.

Sam continued, “Gwen, when you have a traumatic experience your mind can make things up.”

Gwen looked away and crossed her arms. “Get out.”

You situated yourself facing her.

“We’re only here to help.”

“I don’t need your help, I KNOW what I saw, get out of my house!”

You looked over to the boys, and took a deep breath in. “Ok, we’re sorry, again, if you have anything you want to get off your chest, when you’re ready, give me a call.” You placed your card on the coffee table.

Leaving her home with the door slammed shut behind you took a breath. “That went just swell” you said. Dean nodded, “Ohyeah, she’s gonna sleep like a baby”.

A blood curdling scream came from the house making you turn and run back in, the boys following right behind. You had your Browning pistol ready, checking the living room and making your way to the back, you heard another scream and saw Gwen lying on the floor, paw prints embedded on to the carpet from the pressure of the hell hound right on top of her. You aimed and shot the hound only grazing it, then hearing another recoil from Dean shooting it, the hound jumping out of the window. Dean gave you the all clear and you helped Gwen up to her feet and made your way to the dining room.

“So you guys aren’t cops” she stated.

Sam Sat down in front of her while you and Dean hung back.

“No, uh, I’m Sam, that’s my brother Dean, and this is y/n. We’re... hunters”

She looked at the three of you trying to make sense of it all.

Reading her expression that she needed more of an explanation;

“That thing that just attacked you, it’s a hell hound. Goofer dust will keep them away but not long, a demon or angel blade is handy though to end them.”you informed her.

“Then why did you tell me it was a bear?” Looking to you.

“To make you feel better.” Dean said pointing at Sam.

“His idea.”

Sam gave Dean his usual annoyed look.

You leaned your palms onto the table looking at Gwen, her hair disheveled and wide eyed from the fear of what just happened in her home.

“Listen, it does sound insane, but I need to ask. Did you make a deal with a demon, or did Marcus, 10 years ago?”

“No, I didn’t even know these things existed!” she replied tears welling up.

“Ok, so what the hell” Dean says

“I don’t know, but I know who we can ask” Sam says.

Dean walks out of the room and makes a call to Crowley.

A couple minutes and;

“Here.” A short man with a black coat and suit appears in the room. Crowley looks over to Sam and Dean then to you.

“Miss me?”

A few moments of “God making the first creatures” to “Bitch only heels to Lucifer.” You were starting to get a headache.

“Well, why would it be going for Gwen?”

Crowley shrugged “Why don’t you ask her?”

All eyes on her, she let it out, “Well, I did hit it; With an ax.” You accepted that badass answer.

“Yes, bitch does tend to hold a grudge. Well! looks like we’ve got a job to do.”

Driving back to the woods with Crowley and Gwen in the backseat with you, you’ve never been so uncomfortable, and that goes for saying being captured so many times by shapeshifters, ghosts, demons and having you crammed into the tiniest nooks until the boys got you out.

Arriving back at Sica Hollow You had changed into your usual clothes, combat boots, black jeans and a sleeve shirt under a black and grey flannel Dean loaned to you before he left for the last hunt. Dean looked more relaxed in his usual flannel and denim wardrobe, Sam layered with his heavy tan jacket.

Dean grabs things out of the trunk while you stay aside Gwen.

“Ok, Crowley, Sam and I will look for Cujo while you both take a drive, keep moving until we call.”, he hands you the holy fire glasses and you put them on. Great, if you had any ego you definitely didn’t have any now. You looked into the back window and you look like a hipster going to the nearest vegan bakery. “Heh, your like a cute hipster chick.” Dean smiles at you. Starting to blush rose red you headed to the driver seat.

“Hey, take care of her” Dean tells you firmly.

You were taken aback, looking up at him you gently told him, “of course.”

A small silence fell until you realized.

“You mean Baby.”Pointing your thumb at the impala.Sam chuckled.

“You and Sammy always ride the brakes.” You rolled your eyes and sat in the seat.

“Just, imagine that she’s a beautiful, beautiful woman.” You inhaled sharply and started the ignition, revving the engine.

“Sorry honey, I tend to ride my women hard.” With a wink you drove off, laughing as you looked back in the mirror at Dean’s open mouthed goober of a face. That should keep his dirty mind occupied until the hunt was over. You looked over at Gwen who was clearly nervous, and you patted her hand then returned it to the wheel. “They got this. We need to just drive for a few, focus on the task at hand ok?” You tried your best to reassure her to get her mind out of the dark hole that you knew. Fear in a hunter’s life is unnecessary. It makes your mind second guess and stop trusting your instinct. You didn’t need to be killed just because she couldn’t keep her head straight for a couple hours.

An hour in and a small whisper came out of Gwen”I’m sorry”

You glanced her way. “For what?”

“All of this. What happened to Marcus....”

you saw her start to panic.

“Gwen, this isn’t your fault.”

You see her starting to tense up.

“Pull over, please!” She begged.

Without thought you pulled to the side of the highway.She stepped out of the car and you could hear her sobs. After a moment she got back into her seat, wiping her face.

“It was my idea to go camping. Marcus was sweet and kind, but I lied to make things easier. He loved me more than I loved him.” You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. You didn’t have time for this, you thought you’d be empathetic for her, being she was just a young girl and you knew how she felt with love troubles at that age, but the mission at hand was to keep her safe, and stopping near the woods was not the best idea.

Clearing your throat “We should go.”

She whispered an apology and you gasped seeing the hound up ahead only 10 feet away from the car.

“Oh shit, she’s here.” You said, starting to tremble from the adrenaline. Red glowing eyes peered into the windshield and you jumped up as you saw the hellhound’s huge body run and jump on to the hood and on to the windshield, glass cracking and giving Gwen a scream out of her.

“Ok, you have to stay calm. Ok?!” You told her, taking off your seat belt. You both were sitting ducks, you had to do something. The hound made its way up to the roof, and you anticipated what would come next. Following the growls and grunts you fished out the angel blade in a duffel bag behind your seat.

“No! We should leave!” Gwen squealed.

“She won’t stop till you or her are dead, I have to take care of this! Stay in the damn car” she only nodded as you opened your door. You made your way to the front of the car when it jumped you, shoving you back and on to the ground, the glasses flying off. You felt a few hundred pounds of pressure on you, punching the air out of you. You could feel it’s hot breath on you. You still held tight to the blade but a claw gripped you from any movement. You suddenly saw Gwen run over to you with the cooler and she smacked the bitch, a yelp out of it. You stood up trying to get your balance back, looking in front of you. The only thing giving away where the hound was the fog of breath coming closer to you. You heard a low growl and gravel sifted down, the hound lunging straight for you. Taking a chance you stabbed into the air and heard a wail of pain from it, it’s dark blood flooding on to your arm, and you heard it drop.

Trying to catch a breath you looked to Gwen to make sure she was ok. Picking up the glasses you saw it’s body twitching but not breathing. Letting out an exhale of relief you both got back in the car to get the three stooges.

Dean looked to his baby’s damage, stopping next to you as you held your head down a bit. “This is why you don’t drive” he said to you sternly. You took off the glasses and fixed your jacket. “She still runs. We can fix her up. Always do.” You tell him.

He walks away towards Sam and Crowley. “So it’s over” asks Gwen.

“It’s over.” Crowley replies. You see her hug Crowley and you laugh silently.

“Alright. Dog dead, must leave now.”

Sam holds a hand up “Wait a second “, Crowley stands there with a blank look. Always hard to read demons.

“Thank you” Sam says. Just like that Crowley is gone.

Dean gets into his seat. You next to him while Sam sits in the back with Gwen.

He looks to you as he puts the key in the ignition. “Let’s hope it still runs” you start to sink a little into the seat until you hear the impala purr to life.

“Yeah baby! Always there when your girl needs you.” You pat the dashboard and reach to get your seat belt. Sam cleared his throat and you looked to him then Dean, his face still hard at you. You gave a tight grin and settled in for a long awkward ride back to the bunker after you drop Gwen off .

Walking down the metal staircase jacket in hand you filled up a glass of rum before heading to your room. Hearing Dean talk to Cas on the phone you only heard bits and pieces. Cas found a trail to Kelly and her baby. Good news but also bad. The boys might not want you to follow, AGAIN.

You sighed heavily walking to your room and sipped on your rum and coke. Luckily the boys preferred whiskey, so your stash of Coke cans and cheap rum were always stocked. You took off your clothes except your bra and underwear, wrapped your towel around you and headed to the shower. Turning a corner you bumped into Dean. You stopped breathing for a few seconds until he said “Sorry about being a hard ass about Baby, but”

“I know dean, it’s Baby, your beautiful, beautiful woman.” You gave him a side smile and pattered off to your shower.

You heard his distance “Y/n,” and turned around.

“You know, you did good today. Not a scratch on you. I’m glad it was her banged up instead of you.” He raised his glass to you and gulped down what was left of it. You turned around clutching your towel smiling brightly.

The hot shower did you a lot of good. The dry blood from the hell hound washed away along with your negative thoughts of Dean disowning you because you messed his car up. You had offered to give him a test drive of your Black 2010 Dodge Challenger until baby was fixed up, but he refused. His loyalty and admiration to that impala almost made you jealous. If his car became a woman you wouldn’t have a chance.

A knock at the door startled you as you toweled off. “Hey, I need to brush my teeth real quick” Sam talked into the closed door.

“Yeah gimme a second” you quickly towel dried your hair and then wrapped yourself. Opening the door you were met with the tall yeti towering over you in his grey v neck sleeve shirt and pajama pants. “Go ahead Yeti.” You smiled up at him. He returned the smile pushing his hair back. “ Gwen told me how you gutted that hound. I’m proud of you” you nodded, making your way out of the doorway.

“For a newbie, that was pretty badass right?” You added

He laughed and nodded, making his way to the toiletry cabinet.

You were about to leave til you gave a random thought a second chance.

“Hey, if it’s not too late can you hang out with me? In the kitchen?”

Sam gave you a small nod, his toothbrush already in his mouth.

Changing into your pajamas, a black shirt loaned by Dean since you first got to stay in the bunker, and your lace shorts that accentuated your curvy hips and thighs.

You took to the kitchen and started to prep tomorrow’s breakfast burritos. You carefully selected each thing to add for Sam and Dean, compete opposites when it came to food.

Sausage and jalapeños with extra onions for Dean, while you went light for Sam, spicy cashew sauce and gluten free salsa with tofu.

You washed the rice to add as a filling and chopped up the potatoes to make hash browns, soaking them in water.

Nearly finishing Sam arrived and took out a fruit bowl and bottle of water, bringing his laptop up to the counter.

“What’s up?” He says, glancing at you then starting up his computer.

“I know I’m going to sound like such a girl, but... “ you started to twiddle your thumbs in your hands. Sam looked up to you from the computer screen waiting for more.

“Why does Dean not want me to help you guys during a hunt? I mean I know I’m kind of new to this still but I am useful. I can fight. I research like you do. I can charm my way into the autopsy room if I have to.”

Sam softly chuckled and rubbed his forehead.

“It’s not about what you can do y/n. He doesn’t see you as useless. We know, HE knows you’re capable of being a skilled hunter. But he worries you’ll get hurt. He knows you don’t need saving but he doesn’t want to have to save you.” Your eyes widen at him, your mouth partially open but not knowing what to say.

“I’m going to give it to you straight, ok? He likes you, like, likes you likes you even though he hasn’t admitted it to me yet. He flirts differently with you, I’ve never seen him care for someone so much and want to jump their pants at the same time. It’d break him if you got hurt or worse” then went back to typing. You stood there dumbfounded at what he just said. “Dean Winchester, like likes me?”

You turn towards your potatoes to place them in the fridge, threw the dishes into the sink without washing them, you didn’t even see Sam observing your shocked expression, walking slowly into the hallway. “Dean Winchester like likes me, “ you repeat multiple times to yourself. Your heart wanted to jump out of your chest, you felt like a teenager. Opening your door your heart just about leapt right out when you saw Dean lying on your bed with his headphones on. You were stuck at the doorway looking around to make sure you opened the right door. Nope, it was your room. As he saw you come in he smiled and patted the bed to sit on the side of him. You grinned and tried your best to compose yourself, breathing a bit heavily. Climbing on to your bed and covering your legs under the covers you sat up next to him. The silence between you two were deafening.you didn’t know what this was, Dean has only been in your room twice, and both of them platonic enough to make you sick to your stomach. You looked to him and his jade eyes locked on yours. You were about to tell him what Sam said until he blurted out through his earphones;

“Since Baby’s out of commission for a bit, you can take me up on that offer to test drive your baby.”Your shoulders relaxed a bit and you fell back into the pillows.

“Or you could take me for a test drive.” You whispered.

“What?” He said

“What?” You replied. Oh god, he took off his headphones while he was talking to you. You started to feel your heart flutter.

“You want a test drive sweetheart?” He got up from sitting up to his knees and arms, making his way to your side of the bed.

“Um I-“ you didn’t have time to finish whatever you wanted to say.

His soft lips touched yours and you closed your eyes. A few nips to your bottom lips and a moan escaped from you, feeling Deans lips curl into a smile.

“Y/n? Y/n!”

You blinked a few times trying to focus on who was calling your name.

“Y/n, I said do you want to go on a ride tomorrow? Sam says we should take a break since Cas has a lead on where Kelly is.”

Your face showed you were dumbfounded. Had you imagined it all? Dean kissing you? Oh god you need to stop drinking before bed.

“Umm, yeah, tomorrow’s fine. “

Dean gives you a pat on the back and jumps off you bed. “Ok, after breakfast I’ll check out under her hood, night.” He throws a smile your way and heads out. You slump into your pillows and rub your face. “Get a grip. He doesn’t feel that way, why would he? “. You cover yourself and roll to where he was, the spot still warm with the smell of his body wash.

You sigh heavily and close your eyes to try to chase the sleep you knew you wouldn’t be able to get unless he was next to you.

**I might make this a series of episodes I liked and have it into a reader insert thing. Have a Happy New Year!**Im planning more original series and one shots, plus, I might have a shot to go to the SPN convention in August 2020! Anyone else planning to go too? I need friends 😂

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 040

Last time, Bulma got captured by aliens.  The good news is that it’s not that kind of anime, but the bad news is that it’s still anime, so she spends the whole episode stealth cosplaying Ellen Ripley in Alien.

Also, the aliens holding guns on the gang are all frightened children, so that makes things a little awkward.

They narrowly escaped a bunch of space invaders, and they think Krllin, Gohan, and Bulma are part of that group.   This assumption gets dumber the more we find out about the bad guys.   For openers, I’m pretty sure alien marauders wouldn’t wear a knit shirt that looks like it came out of my little brother’s closet back when he was five.   Bulma’s not dressed at all, which seems pretty un-menacing, and Gohan’s even younger than all of these refugees.

Krillin tells Gohan to power up, since it looks like they’ll have to fight their way out of this, but then a little girl runs up and kicks him in the shin.  Who’s the real alien monster here, I ask you?   Not Krillin, that’s for sure.

The boys in charge decide they have to kill their prisoners, since they must be working for some guy named “Frieza.”    Typical filler episode, introducing characters and concepts that’ll never get mentioned again.

Despite all the guns, the kids are reluctant to actually kill anyone, and then an alarm goes off.   Turns out the ship flew into a field of meteors.    Okay, I don’t want to sound like a killjoy, but stuff like this bugs me in outer space stories.   Space is huge, and so are asteroid fields, meteor showers, whatever.   Typically, every fictional spaceship has a seemingly all-seeing sensor array, which can detect anything that happens outside and throw an alarm.   But the damn thing never actually alarms until they’re already in danger.  If you think about the guy designing the ship, wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to alert the crew before they got close enough to hit something?    Because, again, space is huge.   However they ran into this obstacle, they’ve been heading towards it for a long time.

On the other hand, the bridge is being staffed by more frightened children, so that probably explains a lot about their crappy protocols.   Someone probably put the red alert klaxon in silent mode because it interrupted their screening of “Frozen”.    Kids, am I right?    Well, this isn’t one of your video games.   This is real life, and you only get one life in this “stage”.   So I suggest you unlock a new achievement by putting away your smartphones and doing some hard work for a change.

Sorry, I was trying to mock grumpy old people on Facebook, but I ended up disgusting myself.   What frightens me is that there’s probably people younger than I am who will eventually talk like that.    Hell, some of them probably already do.  Some idiot at my job put a printout on the bulletin board that had some quote about working hard, and it was attributed to Thomas Jefferson, and it took all my willpower not to write on it “Jefferson owned slaves.     He literally forced other people to do his work for him.”   But chances are he never even said the quote.  

Anyway, these kids are clearly out of their depth, is my point.

Back on Earth, Goku’s in the hospital, and he’s freaking out because the doctor’s going to stick him with a needle.  The doctor gives him that horseshit about how Goku’s being a baby because he hasn’t even stuck him yet.  Yeah, he knows that, stupid.   He’s upset because you’re going to stick him with a needle, because he doesn’t like needles.   If you had already done it, he wouldn’t care, because it would be over. 

I mean, seriously, fuck this guy.  Goku got crushed half-to-death by a giant ape.   The pain isn’t the issue here.   He doesn’t like the idea of having a thin piece of metal jabbed into his veins.   It’s the idea of it, that’s the problem.    Honestly, for me, the worst part about giving blood is when they prep my arm, and then later when I can feel the tube laying on my arm, and it’s warm.   Would it kill them to put a towel or something under it so it wouldn’t feel as weird?    Has that been an option all along and I just didn’t know to ask?    Maybe I could move it over myself, but no way in hell do I want to look in the general direction of that arm while the business is happening.  Would I pass out at the sight of the tube?   Maybe not, but I refuse to find out the hard way.   I’ll ask God when I die.    Is that weird?    A lot of things in life just don’t have answers available, and I console myself by thinking I can just do a Q&A with God in the afterlife.   The Almighty might refuse to tell me, but at least then I’d know that it’s just impossible for me to find out, and that’s sort of comforting in a way. 

Chi-Chi shames Goku in public, but that’s totally different.   The doctor’s supposed to show some compassion and make Goku feel better.   Chi-Chi, on the other hand, is clearly doing some sort of kink thing that only she and Goku know about.    Look at that face.    That is a thirsty man, right there.

Back in space, Bulma wants to bug out while they still can, but Krillin and Gohan want to help the kids.  

Of course, there’s not a whole lot martial artists can do in a situation like this, but the boys can lift stuff, so they do.

Bulma then gets frustrated with the ship’s pilot and takes over for him.  

Kid, if looks could kill...

She mostly works out the controls on her own, and snaps at a kid whenever she gets stuck.

For some reason the helm control looks like a keyboard, which seems a bit complicated.   It looks more like Bulma is coding a program instead of directly controlling the ship.    Anyway, her fingers are just flying on that keyboard.   Definitely a rare hero moment for Bulma 

Meanwhile, Gohan shoots something with a Masenko.   Not sure how that’s a good idea on a spaceship, but good hustle, Gohan.

Then, after Bulma flies them to safety, the kids still draw their guns on her, and accuse her of working for Frieza.   Look, the thing is, Frieza doesn’t even have any women on his team.     Unless this is some fandom AU where he’s surrounded by OC consorts, in which case I guess a blue-haired lady in her undies would fit right in.  “Yes, you certainly did an.... adequate job piloting this vessel, my dear.    However, I have other duties for you now... of the bedroom variety.”   “As you command, my lord.”   You still don’t need to hold a gun on her, though.

Can I just say that Bulma looks ri-friggin’-diculous in this episode?    Who was this for, exactly?   I mean, she looks normal for the style of this show, but that doesn’t lend itself to fanservice at all.   Like, her left arm looks okay, and the rest of her is all boxy and weird.  It’s like a self-hating hentai dude commissioned this.    He wanted to see Bulma in her underwear, but he didn’t want to enjoy it.   Oh, and I just noticed her weird baby hand.  Yeesh.

One of the kids is convinced that Krillin and Gohan are bad guys because they have super powers, but the ones who saw them help out know better.    I guess Bulma looks a little closer to the “sexy cartoon woman” style here, but I don’t think the fanservice crowd would settle for a shot like this.  

So now that everyone’s friends, the kids explain how their planet was invaded by guys working for some dork named “Frieza”, and their leader was apparently Cui, who we’ll meet a few episodes later.    Krillin finds the story similar to how the Saiyans operated, but the kids say their attackers didn’t have tails.    To be fair, Vegeta has no tail either, at the moment, but whatever.

The adults on the planet were slaughtered to clear the land for Frieza’s use, but they managed to evacuate the children onto spaceships.

But Frieza’s men chased them all down, except for this one, which was chrome-plated.    Apparently this was all they had to do for camouflage?   Seems a little fishy to me.

I don’t understand why the parents sent their kids off in spaceshps without sending at least some adults along to take care of them.   They just tossed them on a ship full of guns and booby traps and no one knows how to fly it, and that was their plan?    Maybe there was an adult pilot, and he got killed at some point.   The Earthlings ask them where they’re headed, and they explain that there’s another planet where they think they’ll be taken in.    You’d think Bulma would offer to double-check their heading, or at least teach them how to fly their own ship so they don’t run into any more trouble, but nah.

When he finds out they’re going to Namek, the refugee leader gives them coordinates for a shortcut, and Bulma rushes off to make use of it.   You know these are just children, right?   Their own shortcut took them through an asteroid field, so maybe you shouldn’t be following their advice too closely.

Then we cut to Planet Frieza No. 79.    Is this the same planet the kids came from?   It’d tie things together nicely, I suppose.  

Frieza’s men detect Vegeta’s ship coming in for a landing, so they send out guys to meet him.   One of them is a dog, and the other looks suspiciously like Sam Guthrie from the New Mutants.

But he doesn’t get out of the pod, and this raises some questions.   First, where’s Nappa?   Second, who wrecked Vegeta’s shit?

So they slap him in a regeneration tank.   It’ll heal him faster than the treatment Goku is currently getting, but let’s remember that it took Vegeta 18 days to get here, so he’s probably in even worse shape than he was in when he left Earth. Also, the healing tank isn’t exactly a quick process.

Get used to this shot, is what I’m saying.

In space, Bulma takes the ship on the shortcut to Namek, and this leads them into the opening of a Looney Toons short.  I hope it’s not a Foghorn Leghorn one.   Those aren’t as good.

There’s some space turbulence, and Bulma ends up landing in Krillin’s lap, so she slaps him for copping a feel.   Why is she still undressed?   

Doesn’t matter, because they’ve finally reached Namek!   And it looks... a little paler than usual...

Bulma finally puts some clothes on and it looks like we can finally get this thing started.

But in her haste to check out the planet, she never notices the ship’s computer, which has a flashing red warning.    Aw, probably the check-engine light.    She can take it to an Auto Zone on the way back.

[marril96]

Mommy Issues

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: Mary disapproves of Rowena’s relationship with reader.

Editor: @oswinthestrange

A/N: This story is inspired by the lovely stories written by @oswinthestrange: Caught in a Compromising Position, Conflict Rises, and Hollow Apologies.

Read on AO3.

Mary Winchester was livid.

Not only was her only daughter leaving only a day after Mary had returned from an alternate world — a world she'd spent nearly a year in — but she was also in a relationship with a witch. And not just any witch — out of all people, you had the audacity to fall for one of the most powerful witches alive, mother of former King of Hell himself.

You could have spat on her as well while you were at it. In Mary's mind, there was nothing worse for a hunter than to get involved with a monster they were supposed to kill. The fact that Rowena, in her current state, was the furthest thing from a monster meant very little to her. She was a witch, a wicked one at that, with enough blood on her hands to drown a city the size of New York. She was a thing, an it, an animal who needed to be put down.

Right.

Let someone try. You dared them. Let them try to lay a hand on Rowena. Let them even look at her wrong. You'd killed for her before. Doing so again wouldn't faze you. In fact, you'd sleep better knowing a threat had been eliminated.

Much to your mother's annoyance, you didn't give a damn what she thought. You were an adult, a grown woman who'd lived her whole life without her. You could make your own decisions.

Hell, even if you were a teenager, the woman before you would have had no right to order you around.

"You can't just leave!" Mary argued, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

"Watch me," you said. A few more shirts and pieces of underwear, and you were done; done with the stale air of this bunker, suffocating you with every breath you took, done with Dean criticizing your relationship every single day and Sam playing the mediator to keep the peace, done with hunting and death and disappointment. Done with your mother.

All you wanted was some peace. You weren't a bad hunter, but the life was never something you'd have chosen for yourself. Sam was okay with John practically disowning him. You weren't. Solitude would have killed you; with your less than stellar social skills, you never would have found friends to replace your family. So you stayed. Year after year, you kept telling yourself you'd quit, but you were never brave enough to actually do it. Where would you go? Who would you turn to? Having graduated high school with barely passing grades and so many absences you had to bullshit your way into justifying, and with no working experience (hunting monsters didn't count in the eyes of the law) or friends to help you with employment, you didn't have that many prospects. You never would have made it alone.

You had Rowena now. You had someone you loved, someone you trusted at your side; someone you knew would never turn her back on you no matter what obstacle you stumbled across. The first person you weren't blood-related to that you considered family.

You'd always had a love for magic. Witchcraft, though, was frowned upon in hunting communities, in hunting families. Witches were evil, everyone had said. Right. Of course. There was never any point in arguing, lest you wanted to be accused of being a traitor. Meeting Rowena had changed that. You'd finally gotten a chance to do something you loved, to be something you loved. Witch Y/N Winchester had quite a nice ring to it.

"What about your brothers?" Mary asked.

"Sam and Dean are big boys. They're more than capable to hunt without me." As they'd done a hundred times. You frowned at the empty drawer. "Rowena, did you see my scarf?"

"It's in my bag," Rowena answered from the other corner of the room, packing her own bag. Another thing mother dearest hadn't been the happiest about; her daughter, sharing a room a with a witch? Unacceptable! "You lent it to me last week, remember?"

"Right," you said.

Mary ignored the interaction. "And what about me?"

Four simple words, and they were enough to ignite a spark deep inside you. A wildfire of anger burned through you, spreading through your body like poison in your veins. Fingers balling into tight fists and teeth clenching, you whirled around to face your mother.

"What about you?" Some nerve she had to even ask that. "Are you serious?"

She had been the one to leave last year. She had been the one to join the British Men of Letters behind your and your brothers' backs. Had Sam and Dean not talked her into returning, she would have remained in the alternate world with her new family, sealed away from you for good.

"You almost stayed in that shithole world, and you're giving me grief for going on a road trip?!"

Mary had the decency to look ashamed. Just a tad, barely noticeable, but shame was shame. 'That's different."

Of course. Favorite line of parents all over the world. It was always different when they did it. "Why? Because I'm dating a witch?"

Rowena, having kept her head down throughout the argument to give the two of you some space, looked up at the mention of her. Her eyes traveled from you to Mary back and forth, curious, a tiny bit worried. You'd warned her about your mother not approving of the relationship; if Dean still had a hard time accepting it, Mary would be a hundred times worse.

Your mother sighed. "She's not good for you, Y/N."

"You don't know her," you argued. People always seemed ready to judge Rowena without bothering to get to know her. It was easier to hate her than to give her a chance to prove herself.

"I've heard about the things she's done."

"But you don't know her!"

"I know she's a witch, and she's got blood on her hands," Mary said.

"And I don't? You, Sam, Dean; none of you have any blood on yours?" If she wanted to judge Rowena, she had to judge herself and her children just as harshly. There wasn't a thing Rowena had done that one of you hadn't. All of you were killers. All of you had spilled innocent blood. Let he or she who was without sin cast the first stone.

"None of us have done half the things she has," Mary argued.

"Bullshit!"

At the very least, Rowena had never attempted to participate in genocide. Something that couldn't be said for your brothers and mother.

"She's leading you down a dangerous path!" Mary said.

"She's changed!" you said. Rowena had redeemed herself, and you would never tire of saying it out loud. Not until people got it in their thick heads. Your girl wasn't a wicked witch anymore.

Mary gave you a dirty look. "If that was true, she wouldn't have tried to drag you into her… practices." She spat the word 'practices' as if it was dirty, as if the mere thought of witchcraft made her stomach churn with disgust.

Rowena shot her a glare as deadly and sharp as a knife, the kind that had to have killed before. "If you knew your daughter at all, you would know she's always had a fondness for magic." She'd promised to be on her best behavior, but enough was enough. You'd asked her to be nice, to not start anything, and she'd done a splendid job. Whatever followed, Mary had brought on herself.

Keeping the peace was important, but you'd never ask your girlfriend to bow her head like a dog in the face of insults — even if those insults were thrown by the members of your family. She deserved respect, as a person, as a woman, as your girlfriend. Dean had learned that, sort of, and so would Mary. And if she refused… Well, it wouldn't be the first time that you'd cut a toxic person out of your life.

"This doesn't involve you!" Mary said.

"It does when you bash me and my craft!" Rowena shot back.

"Your craft?" Mary scoffed. "You make it sound like an art."

"It is an art. A beautiful, fine one not many have natural talent for." She gave you a look of pride, of admiration. No one had ever given you that look before. "Y/N was born for it."

Marty's features twisted into a look one made when they smelled something disgusting. "My daughter was born human!" she insisted, and looked ready to fight to prove her words.

"What are witches, if not human?" Rowena asked, though she knew what the answer would be. Nothing else could be expected from a bigot.

"Monsters! You're monsters!" Mary said. "I'm not letting you turn my daughter into one!"

"Don't talk to her like that!" you barked. Rowena was a lot of things, but she wasn't a monster. Not anymore.

Your mother turned to you. "Can't you see she's manipulating you, Y/N? Maybe she even cast a spell on you!"

You shook her head. "She didn't do anything." You took a deep breath. "I want this. I've always wanted it."

"You didn't!"

How would she know? She'd been dead for over thirty years, and when she'd come back to life, the first thing she did was run away. She didn't know you. Rowena did. Rowena knew you to your core, to the bottom of your soul. She never judged you, never looked at you wrong. Even when you were enemies, not once had she said a bad thing about you. She respected your decisions. She loved you as you were, and didn't try — or want, for that matter — to change a thing about you.

Something that couldn't be said for your mother.

She may have given birth to you, but she wasn't your family. Not really. Rowena, on the other hand, was.

The realization made your stomach twist with unease. Your own mother, and she knew you — wanted to know you — less than the woman who used to be your enemy.

"How would you know? You were dead!" you said. The reminder hurt; your entire life all you wished for was your mother. If only you'd known what she was really like. Your father had made her out to be a saint. Maybe she was, once upon a time. Or maybe John had fed you lies. It wouldn't have been the worst thing he'd done as a parent. You took a deep breath. "And when you came back, you ran away! Not once did you try to get to know me!"

Mary sighed, a look of hurt passing over her face. From a certain angle it might have looked like guilt. Might have.

Tears pickled at your eyes, but you held them back. You wouldn't break in front of her. You wouldn't let her see you at your weakest, at your most vulnerable. You could be strong for just a little more, until you and Rowena were safe and, most important of all, alone in your tiny car, ready to start the next chapter of your lives.

"I want this, mom," you said after a few moments of silence, giving her time for your words to sink in. "I want to be a witch."

"How can you want that?" Mary asked, tone as anguished as the look that settled on her face. She didn't understand. She didn't want to understand.

You shrugged. "I just do. It's my decision. Respect it."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

The words stung. "If you really loved me, you would." A real mother would.

"I love you and your brothers more than anything in the world."

"As long as we're obedient little soldiers, right?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it," she said, stare pointed, expression firm.

"Right." A slight chuckle escaped you, memories of your childhood flooding your mind. "You're just like dad. I thought you were different, but turns out, you're just like him."

He, too, put his wishes above yours. His love, just like Mary's, it seemed, was conditional. You either lived by his rules, or not at all. His word was law. He knew best. He knew you better than you knew yourself. He knew what you wanted, what you needed and dreamed and aspired to. He knew it all.

Right.

Sam had made the right decision when he'd decided to get out.

And so had you.

"John made mistakes—" Mary tried, but you cut her off.

"I don't give a damn about him and his 'mistakes!'" you exclaimed, forming quotation marks with your fingers to emphasize the last word. "And…" You took a large, deep breath for courage. Your eyes trailed downwards, then met hers once more, strong, determined. "If you can't accept this, then I don't give a damn about you, either."

Mary gulped. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love Rowena, and I want to be a witch." Rowena gave you a proud, encouraging smile. You responded with a small smile of your own. "I love you, mom, but… I love her more. I love me more. I'm done letting other people make decisions for me. This is my life."

"You can't be serious," Mary said, startled by your words.

"Deadly," you said. It was honesty hour. You were done playing good, obedient little girl.

"I'm your family!"

"Rowena is my family, as well." A more loving, supporting family than your blood one.

"She'll stab you in the back the first chance she gets!"

That wasn't her anymore. Rowena had changed. She still had a long way to go, but she was working on her redemption.

"She won't," you said. "She's changed."

"You're willing to bet your life on that?"

"I am." Because you knew there was no threat. Your life was safe in Rowena's hands. Safer than it would have been in Mary's.

"Despite everything she's done?"

"Despite everything." Checking to make sure you packed everything, you zipped up your bag, then took hold of Rowena's hand and squeezed tightly.

"You're a fool," Mary said.

You shrugged. "Says you."

"You're throwing your life away."

"Quite the contrary; my life is only just beginning."

"And what about our lives? Are we just supposed to accept losing one of our own?"

"You're not losing me, mom. We can talk on the phone every day, if you want."

"But it won't be you." A tear slid down Mary's cheek. "It-it will be a witch."

"Witch or not, I'll still be me," you pointed out. It wasn't like your soul would disappear and a demon would take its place in your body. You would be you; with a few magical abilities and an allergy to iron added to the mix, but still you. You would still be that baby your mother held when you were little, still that little girl she used to dance with in the kitchen while preparing dinner.

Mary shook her head, adamant, defiant. "You won't. Once you dabble in magic, there's no going back."

"Maybe I don't want to go back," you told her.

"You have to make a choice, then." She looked at you, eyes wounded, hurt, as if the entire world's grief and sorrow settled in them. She looked to be on the verge of falling apart. "Us or her."

Your eyes widened, shock spreading over your face like a splash of paint. "What?"

Mary swallowed, then cleared her throat. "Your family or the witch. You can't have it both ways, Y/N."

Your family or the witch.

Your family or the witch.

Your family or the witch.

She wanted you to choose.

Your own mother, who supposedly loved you more than life itself, had given you an ultimatum.

You knew it was a possibility, but never, in your wildest dreams, have you thought she would actually do it.

Rowena loved you as you were.

Mary loved the idea of you.

Rowena accepted your flaws.

Mary made up flaws where there weren't any.

Rowena encouraged you to follow your dreams.

Mary wanted you to suppress your dreams if they happened to not align with hers.

Rowena knew your favorite songs, books, movies, and TV shows by heart, even though your interests greatly differed from hers.

Mary could list two cartoons and one song you liked when you were a child.

Rowena answered when you called in need, and held you when you cried, and did everything in her power to get you back on your feet.

Mary had been too busy planning genocide with the British Men of Letters to even answer a text message.

Rowena, despite centuries of building walls and hiding her emotions, had opened up and allowed you to see her as she was. She was terrified; terrified of betrayal, of being taken advantage of, for that was all she'd ever known. And still, she let you in, let you get to know her, let herself love you even though it went against all the principles she'd held for centuries.

Mary had wanted to stay in a war-torn world with a bunch of strangers, principles over family.

With Rowena you had a future.

Mary, on the other hand, brought nothing but pain and disappointment into your life.

Mary may have brought you into this world, but she didn't understand you. Rowena did. And when she didn't understand, she did her best to try. Because she loved you. She wanted to know everything about you, about your life, about you most beautiful dreams and worst fears. She wanted to know it all.

Mary didn't even pretend to try. She was convinced she knew better, convinced she knew you despite never even bothering to get to know you.

Your grip on Rowena's hand tightened, half instinct and half intent. Ignoring the hammer-like pounding of your heart and steadying your breathing to get the words out without stumbling, you said. "That's an easy choice to make."

You and Rowena grabbed your bags and, looking around the room one last time to make sure you packed everything of importance, you left.

You left the bunker.

You left the memories, good and bad, behind, hoping to never revisit them again.

You left your life.

You left your family.

You left your mother.

As soon as you were in your car, far away from nosy eyes and ears, you collapsed into Rowena's arms and cried. You cried and wailed and sobbed, let everything aching and bad out, emptied your heart of all the pain that had gathered inside it. Rowena held you to her, hands gently tapping your back, words of comfort slipping from her lips in tender, soothing whispers.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked when you calmed down.

Pulling away from the embrace, you straightened up in your seat. Tears had finally stopped flowing, their remnants drying on your puffed up cheeks. You looked at Rowena, and the truth of the words you were about to say pooled in your eyes before you managed to utter a single one. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

Rowena beamed. You smiled, bright as a sunshine. Starting the car, you drove out of the garage, onto the open road, on your way to a brand new life. The life you'd always wanted, with the woman you loved the most in the whole wide world.

Tags: Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @darktweet @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @royalrowena @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @victoriasagittariablack @rowenaswife @dropsofpetrichor @fromflametofire @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @elaspn @cas-loves-dean-and-i-love-him @faeyla @hotdiggitydammit @1-800multifandom @darkhumorsblog

[homogrimoire-archive]

The Remnant Branches

CH. 2 - Vile Toxic Intent

Part 3: Tyrian "Helping Children" Callows

Tyrian sees that he has been transported into another world, and makes the best of the situation.

“Hey Z, who’s this nutcase?” Dito asked.

“Don’t know. He doesn’t seem so bad though.” she shrugged as an arm flew into the air. Dito stared at it in amazement as rusted wires and rancid fluids spurted out of it.

“Yeah, fun fact! People don’t have tails. I say we get your sword and go. He’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.” Cent shuddered.

“Hold on, I think he could be useful. I’m getting tired of having to do all the killing around here, and he seems like he likes killing.”

“I agree with Lady Zero. The more people we have, the less energy she wastes by killing soldiers and monsters, and the more energy she can use to kill her sisters.”

“It’s settled then. Hey, scorpion tail! You good now?” Zero shouted as she walked towards him. He let out a huff as he drove in the sword one last time.

“I’m, good now.” he huffed. “I’m very good now!” He let out a loud cackle into the sky.

“You done? I don’t have all day.” She was starting to get annoyed.

“Yes. I’m much better now.” He said as he handed the sword back to her.

“Good. Let’s cut to the chase. I’m on my way to kill my sisters. They call themselves goddesses, so why don't you join me and help me kill them in the name of your goddess?” she offered. She saw him jump at the opportunity, then hesitate for a moment.

“Suuure,” he began, “but on one condition! You tell me about magic! One of my objectives is to learn about magic, so help me with that, and I’ll help you out. Deal?”

“Ugh. Deal.” Zero replied. “Now hurry up. I’m not going to sit around and baby you. We’ve got Intoners to kill.”

-

“Zero, why are we going after One first? Wouldn’t it be better to start with a weaker Intoner?” the young dragon asked.

“Never thought I’d agree with the big baby, but are you sure it’s best to go after One first?” Dito asked.

“Yeah. I’m sure. Once she’s out of the way, taking down the rest of them will be a piece of cake.” She explained. “Would you rather things get easier, or harder as we go?”

“I usually prefer it when its hard, but I suppose tha t this isn’t one of those times. But if you’d like, we could have a hard time right now.” Octa winked at Zero as she decapitated a man.

“I don’t know, does it seem like a good time Octa?” she said as a man fell to his knees to beg for mercy. His pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Hmm, that’s not a no.” he beamed.

“Ugh, why can’t you guys just focus on killing, like him?” she berated as she referred to Tyrian tearing through a group of soldiers in the distance. His laughter was somewhat annoying after a while, but at least he killed, killed, and killed some more.

“Cause he’s literally insane, Z. The guy voluntarily follows a self-proclaimed goddess.” Dito said, exasperated.

“That, and frankly I just don’t trust him. Heh, I mean, I have impeccable judgement, so if I don’t trust him, he just shouldn’t be trusted.” Cent reasoned.

“I don’t know. I think he’s alright. He has a tail, like me! Hey Zero, watch this!” Mikhail shouted, and proceeded to slice a horde of monsters with the tip of his tail. “Did you see Zero? Did you see? I learned that from watching him.”

“He’s not that annoying, he’s a good influence on Mikhail, and he’s good at killing. Can't say all that that about the rest of you, can I? Hey, dummy, go and get some more pointers from him.” she barked at him.

“Yes Zero!” the dragon said happily as he flew to study the tailed murderer.

“But you can say we have an amazing time fucking.” Octa stated.

“... Fine. You guys are good for sex, I guess.” Zero admitted. “Goddamnit, now I’m horny.We’re fucking right now. I don’t give a damn where we are.”

“I guess we can help with that.” Dito sneered.

“Oh ho ho! you know you can count me in anytime, my lady!” Octa exclaimed excitedly.

“I guess I’ll have to join in then. Someone with my unparalleled skills simply needs to be there. But uh, shouldn't we take care of the soldiers first?” Cent asked.

“Mmm, I think they’ll be busy.” She said as they paused to look at the reinforcements heading towards Tyrian. “Hey, hold on, where’s Decadus?”

“Hell if I know.” Cent shrugged.

“I say we start without him.” Octa urged.

“Knowing that freak, he’s probably trying to get stabbed by the new freak in town.” Dito joked, looking at the bloodbath behind them as he began to take off his shirt. “Wait, holy shit. He actually is.” Among the soldiers, Dito could just make out the huge freak.

“You better be fucking joking.” She sighed. She went to look in the distance to see that Decadus was indeed among the soldiers. “Fuck it. If he dies, he dies. That’s on him.” At least the dragon was getting better at killing.

“I knew he was a freak, but damn, he really is on a whole other level of freak.” Dito remarked.

“Fun fact, did you know that a scorpion’s poison can kill a grown man in mere hours, even a big guy like Decadus? Food for thought.” Cent commented.

“Can you two shut up so we can start fucking already?” she demanded to know. While Octa was already undressed and having fun, the other two were barely removing their underwear. Despite missing a man, it was a good time, perhaps even better than usual. All they knew was they they would have to try fucking in the middle of battle more often.

-

“Hey! Hey mister! I’m here! I’m here so I can learn to get better at fighting!” Mikhail exclaimed as he flew closer.

“Oh how wonderful, a pupil!” he yelled joyously as he slashed the chest of one man, the stomach of another, and poisoned a third. However, that fact that he was stabbed in his throat meant he would die from the wound before the poison. “Give me a ride, would you?” he said as he jumped onto Mikhail’s back. “Thank you.”

“Are you gonna give me some pointers? I don’t really like killing, but I’ll do it if it makes Zero’s life easier.” Mikhail explained.

“Well that won’t do. If you don’t like killing, then you shouldn’t be killing. I guess I’ll be taking my leave then.” Tyrian said, readying to jump back into the fray.

“No, wait, wait! I like killing! I like killing if Zero they’re Zero’s enemies! I love killing them! Grr! Kill!” he growled.

“Alright. Good enough. The trick to being a good killer is to love killing. You have to love all the pain and death and suffering you’re creating!” Tyrian explained to the youngling. “Torch those fools below us, would you?” The dragon followed the order, incinerating the many soldiers and monsters.

“Aah, hear that? Smell that? See that? If you wanna help your friend, wanna be a good killer, love that.”

“But couldn’t we have just talked to them instead? I’m sure we could have solved things peacefully.” Mikhail said somewhat sadly. Tyrian laughed at the suggestion.

“Talk? To your enemy? How are you even still alive? Listen kid, why don’t you land down there real quick and talk to them.”

“Really? You’ll let me try to talk to them? Zero never lets me try that.”

“Sure. Gooo right ahead. See what happens.” Tyrian cackled sinisterly as the naive dragon descended.

“Umm, hello. I― ow, stop that!” he said as soldiers stabbed at his thick scales with their puny weaponry. “Hey, I just want to talk with you. Ow, stop that! That kinda hurts!” Mikhail whined.

“Why isn’t it even slowing down?!” One soldier demanded to know.

“Stab it enough and it’ll die eventually!” another responded.

“Kill the traitor intoner’s dragon! Filthy beast!” insulted a man stabbing at the dragon’s feet.

“Hey, that’s not nice! Ow. Listen, I just wanna talk to you! We can solve this peacefully! Ow!”

“Kill, kill, kill!”

“Die, die, die!”

“Perish, perish, perish!”

“Shut up and listen to me!” Mikhail roared, flapping his wings angrily. The powerful gust sent the men flying back.

“Attack!” screamed the soldiers as they rushed back towards the dragon.

“They’re not going to listen, are they?” Mikhail asked himself, though he knew the answer. Tyrian laughed in response.

“See? See why I like killing? You get to rid the world of people who don’t listen to reason! You get to make them suffer! Now, if you want some real pointers, treat your whole body as a weapon, because it is! Crush them! Burn them! Poison them! Bite their throats out! Kill them!” Tyrian giggled maniacally as he jumped back down to spill even more blood. “Killl, alll yourr enemies! And loooove it!”

Soldier upon soldier, monster upon monster. The bodies piled high. Blood was freed from its prison and flowed as it pleased. Smoke bellowed out from the newborn pyre. A song without the power of a flower could be heard. And yet the enemies still ran towards the visage of death. Soon, the last wave arrived. It was composed of humans enhanced by magic, and monsters made of magic. It was a sight that would bring hope to the followers of the Intoner sisters. It would soon become a sight that would inspire despair in them. Only a single man lay alive amongst the order of slaughter.

“Ooh, looks like someone’s still hanging on.” Tyrian cooed.

“Nngh, so, much, pain.” he moaned.

“Huh? Wait! That’s Decadus! Waahhh! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Mikhail profusely apologized as he headed towards the suffering disciple.

“So much, delectable pain, uhmmn…” he groaned.

“You know, you’re not supposed to like it.” Tyrian told him.

“Hurry, put him on my back! We’ll take him back to Zero!” Mikhail told Tyrian.

“I say we just put him out of his misery.”

“Nghnn, to deny me the suffering of life… so cruel.” he moaned again.

Tyrian was taken aback by the disciple’s desire to suffer. It was so illogical to him. It went against everything he knew. People hated to suffer, and feared death, which is why he loved to make them suffer and die. But this guy, it didn’t matter. Whether or not he was suffering, he was getting what he wanted. There wasn’t a way he could truly hurt. It was plain wrong to Tyrian, disgusting even, and he didn’t know how to react to it. So he just did what the dragon asked of him and they made their way towards Zero.

“Don’t worry Decadus! Zero will fix you up!”

“Must she?” he complained.

“Is he alright?” Tyrian asked.

“What? Is he alright? Look at him! Poisoned, burned, broken bones probably, and cuts everywhere! Of course he isn’t alright!” Mikahil stated.

“No, is he alright, like, in the head? Cause, uhh...” Tyrian looked back at the suffering man who enjoyed suffering, and therefore wasn’t really suffering in his eyes.

“Well, probably not. I mean, it was preeeetty crazy back there, so I’m sure he hit his head a few times. Just hang in there Dacadus, we’ll be there soon!”

“Please, nngh, take your time.” he lewdly groaned again. To the joy of Mikhail, they found Zero and the other disciples soon. They were resting peacefully.

“Zeroooooo! Zeroooooooooo!” he yelled as he neared them. Being in the frantic state he was in, he loudly crashed into a nearby rock face. Tyrian managed to jump off in time. Decadus, however… “Waaahhhhh! I’m sorry! I’m sorry again!”

“Can’t ever have a goddam peaceful fucking moment can I?” she sighed. “What!?” she turned to look at a very beat up Decadus, moaning in pleasurable pain. “Oh fucking fuck! Just fucking die next time, god!”

“Guuhhh. So cruel...”

“Eew look! The bone is sticking out!” Dito exclaimed as he giddily ran towards the body. “Ohh, gross!! You can see the bone marrow! And look at this vein! God that’s disgusting! Man this cut goes deeeep! Holy shit, this burn!” he gasped with excitement, like a kid getting free candy.

“The big guy, is there something wrong with him, or…” Tyrian wasn’t sure how else to describe it, so he just motioned vaguely with his hands.

“I ask myself that everyday. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. Alright, out of the way shorty.” She pushed Dito out of the way as he was poking at a wound with a stick.

“Hey!” Dito shouted. Zero ignored his cry.

“Pay attention scorpion. You wanted magic, here it is.”

She began to vocalize ever so softly, and began a dance. Her lower body remained stationary as her upper body danced odd movements. A glow began to envelop his body as the flower in her eye began to glow. Soon, her movements quickened and her voice became louder. The glow became so intense it was blinding. When the glow faded, and the song and dance stopped, and a healed Decadus was what they saw.

“Thank you, Lady Zero...” he said rather sadly. She lifted a leg, and kicked him in the dick, sending him flying into the wall of rock. The rest of the guys looked in horror, clutching their own dick through their clothing in fear.

“Fucking do that again! I fucking dare you! Goddamn disciple...” she grumbled.

“Understood, ghhhnn, Lady Zero.” he cried. He looked like a kicked puppy that liked being kicked.

“I didn’t get to look at the poison wound on his back...” Dito lamented.

“At least we still have our dicks in one piece.” Tyrian said as he looked at Decadus in horror.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Lean, Mean, Killing Machine- P.1

Characters: Sam x Colt!Reader, Dean, Rowena

Word Count: 2,569

Warnings: some angst? maybe, not a ton. Some fluff? Probably more than angst. Nothing too bad in here.

Request by @gabbie7-11: Can you do a Sam X reader where Rowena says you boys keep breaking this gun so I'm going to make it harder for you to break it or demons to break it. And she turns the gun into a woman. And she can kill any monster. she and the boys go off killing demons and monsters and she falls in love with Sam. It's a crazy idea I know but I figured if anyone can write cool story out of a crazy idea it's you.

Author’s Note: This is part one of a mini series. I will post the other parts when I have them done and will work on them shortly. If you want to be a Queen or apart of the Sam Fam, let me know and I’ll add you to the lists! So sorry this is out so late, I hope whoever requested it, that you like it!

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“Rowena! Come on! I know you’re in there!” Dean said as he pounded on the door. Rowena was spending time in a city the boys have never been to. She was at a motel which was the safest place for her to do her magic without anyone being suspicious.

“Dean, how do you know it’ll work?” Sam said, holding the broken gun in his hand.

“I just do. If she can get the Mark off me, then she can fix this,” Dean said, pounding on the door once more. “Rowena!!”

“Alright! You guys are like termites. You never go away.” Rowena said once she opened the door. She rolled her eyes and let the Winchester’s in, already knowing why they were hear.

“We need your help.” Dean said, not liking that he admitted defeat.

“Oh, right, you broke your little toy… again.” Rowena said, taking the Colt out of Sam’s hand and examined it, seeing how much damage the Winchesters managed to do to it this time.

“Hey, it’s not our fault. Maybe you just suck at fixing the gun.” Dean sassed, crossing his arms.

“Well, if you’re going to be like that, then there is the door. Good luck trying to find someone else who can fix it.” Rowena said, looking at the brothers.

“No, Rowena, Dean didn’t mean it. Look, can you fix it or not?” Sam said, sighing.

“Of course, I can fix it. You boys keep breaking this damn gun so now, I’m going to make it just a little bit harder for you or anyone else to break it.” She said, placing the gun on the floor of the room, stepping back.

“What are you going to do to it?” Dean asked looking at Sam who shrugged.

“Be quiet, I need to concentrate.” Rowena said, closing her eyes and sticking her hands out. She started to mutter words in another language. Sam and Dean looked at one another and they had no idea what was going on, what she was saying, or what was going to happen when she was done.

The building started to shake a bit before the lights started to flicker.

“What is going on?” Dean said, taking out his gun he always carried on him.

“Rowena! What is going on?” Sam said but Rowena was far too gone to answer him. She kept muttering words, things falling off the shelf due to the shaking of the building. As suddenly as it started, the shaking and the flickering lights stopped, everything going silent and still.

Rowena smiled and stopped muttering, turning to the boys who had no idea what was going on.

“There, it’s done. If you break this version, I’m not fixing it anymore.” She said, blowing out the candles that were burning when the brothers walked in.

“What did you do? Nothing happened.” Dean said, but he was cut off by the broken Colt rising in midair. Sam and Dean watched as the gun started to melt in the shape of a person, solidifying when it was complete. What was left was a woman, you, naked with no emotion.

“Boys, here is your gun.” Rowena said, looking at you. You stared at the men who scrambled to take off their jackets. Sam was faster and he draped the jacket over your shoulders, you not moving at all. You knew Sam and Dean by heart, since you were always the one fighting with them, killing monsters with your bullets. It was nice to finally meet them in person.

You knew all your owners and Sam and Dean were the most special people you’ve ever came to know.

“Why did you turn it into a woman? What are we supposed to do with her?” Dean asked, looking at you. The jacket was covering your most intimate parts but you knew he was still visualizing what he just saw before it was covered.

“Y/N is her name and she can kill any monster with a touch of her hand. If you break her, which I made it hard to, I am not fixing her. Once she is broken, she goes back to gun form. Be warned, she can bleed and break bones like a normal human. She may be able to kill anything but she, herself, isn’t invincible. Now, leave because as you can see, I am very busy.” Rowena said, pushing you into Sam’s side in an effort to get you three to leave.

“What just happened?” Dean said as he walked out of the room.

“Thank you, Rowena.” Sam said right before Rowena slammed the door in Sam’s face.

“Alright, then, what do we do now?” Dean said, looking at you. You stared back at Dean and he looked confused, reaching out to touch your shoulder to make sure you were real.

“I’m glad to see your leg is doing better.” You finally said, making Dean jump back from surprise.

“Wait, how did you know I hurt my leg?” Dean said, looking at his brother who shrugged.

“I was there when you hurt it. You used me to kill that monster but not right before he sunk his claws into your leg.” You said, remembering exactly what happened like it were happening right now.

“Wow, okay, what else do you remember?” Dean said.

“Everything starting from the very beginning when Samuel Colt was building me. I know all of my owners and everything they’ve ever said and done in my presence.”

“Great, we were just on our way to a case so you can test out your new powers for us.” Dean said, walking to his side of the car.

“Agreed.” You said, reaching up to take off your jacket.

“Whoa, why are you taking off the jacket?” Sam said, stopping you by putting the jacket back on.

“I don’t feel comfortable with clothes. I am usually naked and you didn’t complain before when I was the gun.” You said, frowning.

“Yeah, but you’re a woman now. It’s not normal to walk around naked. Come on, we can get you some real clothes.” Sam said, ushering you to the back of the car. You got in and looked around. After Sam got in, Dean took off. It was weird, being in human form. You didn’t know much about humans except how to speak like them and how to fight like them.

Your eyes drifted over to Dean, to see the same tense expression he always held, but you didn’t know why he was like that. Then your eyes moved to Sam and you gave a tiny smile. Sam was your favorite out of the two. He was strong, caring, always cleaning you but you also liked how Dean called you sweetheart.

You were more of Dean’s gun than Sam’s but you felt the need to protect them both. You were always an expert at protecting the ones who needed it and now that the Winchesters had you, you would do everything in your power to protect them. If they died because of you, then you didn’t know what you would do.

Dean stopped the car and you noticed you were outside of some stores, one of them being for clothing.

“Okay, wait here, I’ll get you some clothes.” Dean said, turning off the car.

“How do you know what will fit if I am not with you?” You asked, making him look at you.

“Sweetheart, I’ve been with women that look like you, I know what will fit.” Dean said, getting out of the car, leaving you and Sam inside.

“Sorry about Dean, you know how he can get.” Sam said, turning his body to face you.

“Yes, I understand.” You said, looking at Sam with a smile.

“So, you think you can do this? Do you know how to use your power?” Sam asked.

“Sam, you underestimate me. I am fully capable of killing things. However, there are 5 things in creation that I cannot kill and that would be Archangels, God, Death and his Horsemen, Eve and Leviathans. However, considering four out of the five I listed are gone or dead, I think your chances are pretty high when it comes to protecting you.” You said, sitting perfectly still.

“Look, you don’t have to worry about Dean and I, we can take care of ourselves.” Sam tried to say.

“No, Sam, Samuel Colt made me to protect those who own me. You two own me and it is my purpose to protect you.” You said, looking over at the shops to see Dean emerge with clothes in his hands. When Dean entered the car, he passed the clothes onto you.

“Here, these should fit.” Dean said but by the time he was finished speaking, you were already out of the jacket, slipping on the underwear he gave you. Sam and Dean coughed, seeing as how you were still naked from the waist up and tried to shield you to whoever was passing by.

You didn’t think anything of the stares you were receiving, parents covering their children’s eyes from you. You handed Sam back his jacket with a smile, when you were done.

“Here you go. Thank you for keeping me warm.” Dean sighed and he started the car, peeling away from the stores to get back to the case.

“Of course.” Sam said, shrugging the jacket back on himself.

“So, what is the case you two are taking me on?” You asked.

“Vampires. There is a nasty nest in Colorado that we need to take care of. A few people have died but you’re going to take care of them all.” Dean said, looking at you through the rearview mirror.

“Dean, don’t boss her around. She isn’t an object anymore.” Sam said quietly but you heard.

“No, Sam, Dean is right. Of course, I will kill them all and protect you and Sam.” You said, leaning your head back.

“Good.” Dean said, looking at his brother before he turned on the radio and sped up. He was itching to kill some vampires.

You got to the run-down mansion in Colorado. It was a big farm house and it was the perfect place for vampires to reside in. You got out of the car and didn’t wait for Sam or Dean before you started walking to the entrance of the place. You would have gotten further but a hand on your shoulder stopped you.

“Wait, we need a plan. We can’t just walk into the front door.” Sam said. You looked at him and Dean who was getting machetes from the trunk of the car.

“Don’t worry about it. One touch from me and they’ll die. You guys can stay here and wait for me.” You said, shrugging out of Sam’s grip. You turned back around and walked to the front door, walking inside.

“Did she just tell us to wait?” Dean said, not believing what he just heard. With one look from each other, they grabbed their machetes and walked into the front door, seeing what was going on in there.

Upon walking in, you made enough noise to wake the sleeping vampires. It was the middle of the day and they needed their sleep but they can sleep all they want when they’re dead. One vampire hissed at you but you didn’t flinch, not once. You walked to him and reached your hand out, touching him in the arm.

He gasped and your eyes glowed a bright orange as did the skeleton of the vampire. When you retracted your hand, the vampire fell to the ground, dead. The other vampires looked at you, some of them not knowing how to deal with you and some of them not caring as they charged at you.

You dodged an attack of one, putting your hand on his leg. Your eyes glowed a bright orange once more, killing the vampire once you let go. You looked up and growled, seeing some of the vampires back up at your presence.

But, you weren’t here to make peace with them. Vampires were bad creatures and it was your job to kill them. You took off in a sprint to them, some of them fleeing but Sam and Dean took care of them easily. You ran at the ones who ran at you, eager to take you down but that would be hard to do when one touch from you is all it took for them to die.

They tried to dodge you while trying to hurt you but it wouldn’t work. Your eyes never changed from their orange, a sign that your power was in full effect. You grabbed onto the arms of two vampires, sending them to their deaths a moment later.

While you were busy with both of them, a vampire snuck up behind you and wrapped a metal bar around your neck, forcing you to a post, pushing the bar against your throat. He was trying his best to not touch you and so far, it was working.

You gasped and reached out for the vampire but the need for oxygen was too great to ignore.

“Y/N!” You heard Sam yell for you but there was no way in hell you were dying today. You growled lowly with what little oxygen was in your lungs as your eyes became a fiery orange, compared to the orange they were before. You grabbed the bar that was holding you hostage, sending your electrical currents through the bar and to the vampire who was holding it.

He gasped, receiving those signals. It wasn’t enough to kill him but it hurt like hell. He staggered back, dropping the metal rod from you. You reached your hand out and grabbed him by the throat, lifting him from the ground. His skeleton glowed a bright orange before he slumped in your hand, dead.

You dropped the vampire to the floor, your eyes going back to their normal color. You looked around the place and smiled to yourself, knowing all the vampires were dead. You looked at Sam and Dean and you walked right past them, out the front door to the car.

“Wait, Y/N, are you okay?” Sam said, following you. Dean looked at the vampires who still had their heads attached. They were dead but not in the traditional sense. He threw his arms up, confused. He walked out of the house, looking at you.

“What the hell was that?” Dean said.

“I’m fine, Sam, thanks for worrying about me. It takes a lot to kill me,” You said to Sam, dusting off your clothes. Sam and Dean had blotches of blood on them but you were clean. You turned to Dean and straightened your stance. “I killed those vampires. You’re welcome.”

You didn’t wait for them to respond to you because you got into the car and let them talk out their problems.

“What the hell?” Dean muttered.

“Dean, I think we found the ultimate weapon. If people know about her, she’s going to be a wanted woman. We need to protect her because we need her.” Sam said to Dean.

“Yeah, but come on, she killed most of them in there! That’s our job.” Dean muttered, pouting that you took all the kills from him.

“You’ll get over it.” Sam said, getting into the car.

“So, where to now?” You asked with a smile. You were always ready to kill.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967  @essie1876  @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place @dreaminofdean @posiemax @donnaintx @mikey1822 @alexandriajanae4 @li-ssu @just-another-winchester @obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom @mizzezm @goldenolaf25

The Sam Fam

@elma-shay @xxno-wayxx @saxxxology

@thing-you-do-with-that-thing

[ladyjenise]

Breath of the Wild non-spoiler gameplay update:

I’ve logged about 30 hours into the game so far, and I’m nowhere near done. And believe me I haven’t just been running around looking at stuff. A lot of that has been actual activity towards progressing through both skills/stats and the storyline. There’s just THAT much to do.

Onto actual spoilery stuff:

Ok, gameplay spoilery stuff:

-Who the fuck are the Yiga clan and why do they want to kill Link? If there’s one thing that’s driving me in this game, it’s finding out who these a-holes are and why they started Hyrule ISIS just to assassinate Link, because they don’t seem affiliated with Ganon. Seriously, fuck these guys. Also: they fight with sickles. Who fights with a sickle? Honestly. Commie bastards.

-I got a house! I found it by accident. There is a house in Hateno village behind those cubey IKEA homes, just across a small bridge. The guys there are tearing it down, explaining that it was abandoned and the village had thus voted to tear it down. But then you can jokingly offer to buy it. Well, fuck that. I was dead serious. I wanted to see how far I could go. Even the 30,000 initial rupee price didn’t deter me (I’ve played Animal Crossing, motherfucker! No mortgage scares me now!) You talk them down to only 3k rupees, which is easy to do if you’re finding gems (blow up black shiny rocks) and doing shrines (find the extra hidden chests in them. There’s always usually one extra one besides the one easy-to-find one, and sometimes you can find silver rupees in them that are worth 100). Diamonds are not super rare (I’ve found like 3 so far) and are worth 500 rupees.

-I LOVE that rupees can actually buy you dope shit finally. Not buy you some shit potion you can get for free, or a heart. Like, Nintendo FINALLY listened and got down to developing a proper small scale economy.

-The blood moon is cool af and a great way to repopulate the world so there’s no end of weapons and stuff. This is especially important because I’ve heard there is a quest to get some super hype armor sets that you can only get through collecting monster shit, so respawning for farming was going to be a requirement for that alone.

-Amiibos:

1) If you tap the Ganondorf amiibo, you get a version of his really cool ass big sword from that Spaceworld 2000 demo. I love cleaving enemies to death with that thing. Best part is, if it breaks, I know I can get another one eventually.

2) Sheik drops sheikah stuff

3) Zelda (original smash bros) gives fruit and gems

4) Link (original smash bros) dropped EPONA. And her stats are amazing. Fast as hell, always obeys commands, etc. Dopest horse in the game so far.

5) 30th anniversary Link dropped a bunch of items that I can’t remember now.

And I haven’t scanned my Ocarina of Time Link because he’s at my desk at my office. I’ll have to bring him home and try him. It’s totally worth doing the Amiibo shit. I really want to get that Wolf Link one now just to get that. DAMN YOU EXPLOITING CAPITALISM, NINTENDO

Storyline spoilery stuff:

-I feel like I have made the least progression on the story. Of the 18 memories, I got 3 so far. I’m pretty sure after 30 hours I was done Ocarina of Time and all the other games after it and had the whole story by now. This fucking game? NOPE.

-I have memories 1, 3, and... whatever the one is with Mipha where she’s healing Link (aww). I thought Zelda’s voice actress was not a good choice at first, but she has grown on me. Mostly through the two memories I have seen so far. I thought it cute when she’s telling Link she’s “trying to be more empathetic”. The idea that Zelda isn’t some perfect being intrigues me, and from what I’ve seen so far they’ve built her as a very imperfect girl who tries to project the opposite.

-HE WAS DEAD ALL ALONG. So I was wrong. The old man wasn’t Ganondorf. He was actually the king. OH WELL. I like his Japanese voice better than his English one (in before WEEABOO)

-Everyone wants to get into Link’s pants, as is tradition.

-I like talking to Impa’s granddaughter in my underwear. Her reaction is great.

-I love that the gerudo have their own words for stuff. Though they are hella big. I keep waiting for them to demand snoo snoo from Link. So many crushed pelvises...

-I saw a review that said there were too many borderline creepy dude characters in the game. Their argument seemed to imply it was demeaning to women. I met all the ones they were talking about and, to be fair I think the stereotype is demeaning to men, but it’s also a staple trope in anime. I don’t really want to make excuses to anyone for Nintendo, though. They’re a big company. People should be free to criticize. I just don’t see it as much of a problem as other trends I’ve seen in gaming. Basically, there are bigger fish to fry.

-Did I mention that the gerudo are cool as hell?

-Probably more of a gameplay spoiler but the race-created weapons are also everything I ever wanted.