#He honestly adores the Celestial horses and they still all remember him to this day; plus they listen to him

[siixkiing]

Wukong has and is 110% able to do this [x]; he will let horses buck as hard as they like and get as wild as they like since he considers it playful and fun — not just for him but for the horses. Though, he will make sure he keeps himself light when he does it and won’t put any sort of weight while he does as he does not wish to hurt them or cause any discomfort.

[anon-ohmus]

Salutations,

And a happy fine helllo

My Name is Anon from the land of Ohm,

Welcome to my home away from home

Before someone tells you i stole it, it’s honestly just a loan.

And the place I serve my sentence for casting the wrong stones

in a land far away and a time so long ago

Anywho, I offer a service From the depths of my mind

It’s Fundamentally simple, yet beautifully sublime.

I need nothing to produce this timeless art.

I Make it with nothing from the end to the start.

Where it comes from who really knows?

I’ve pondered that for years and know that I don’t.

if you want to explain it, I hope that you won’t

Just enjoy the river no matter the flow

It’s a fun ride regardless of where it goes

📖Yes, the schemes of my rhymes are wild and chaotic.

Some call me an amateur, I’m not, I’m just neurotic.

The truth is I’m an alien, and it’s actually quite exotic.

But please Bear with me if this starts to get robotic.

I really hoped to trim and skim the topics

,Not convey myself as a nerdy alcoholic,

And stick to things that folks might find anecdotic

But now I feel it’s turning quite psychotic

At least it hasn’t taken a turn for the erotic

Or something grim like outbreaks of bubonic

Or anything racist or naively Patriotic

Thankfully I’m out of rhymes that I find melodic

Hopefully that might be just enough to stop it

But, it seems this poem is quite kaleidoscopic

And will recite a near rhyme to not seem idiotic.

Everyone just remain calm, or it might become despotic

I’ll use my gift of.linguistics to do my best to try calm it

I’ll craft a call for it to give response, follow, and frolic

perhaps to a series a sixty six of episodic biopics

Written by acne riddled junkies still hooked on phonics?

What a terrible annoying idea, I’m sure it will work!

Now, have at thee, you vile Flibbertigibbet jerk!

Now to tie of this stanza with some pointless fancy jargon

And A secret technique I learned from Marvin the Martian

At least I think it was him, but I suppose I could be wrong

That Martian moonshine they brew is actually quite strong

It must have been spiked with Plutonian cocaine

Or even Jupiter Juice because I went a tad insane.

I ejected my uncle from the airlock and didn’t sleep for a week

But I distinctly remember meeting that croaky, centurion freak

Because he’s the one that pointed out that Uncle Sam could still breathe.

Wait, was that the day we met or was that a Martian weed dream?

Come to think of it , it wasn’t my Uncle Sam, it was my Aunt Billy.

dreams are really are strange when IRL is just as weird and silly.

is it racist to suspect that Martians are a sect of black-faced Ku klux gladiators?

No matter , it’s time for the leafy super dank 420 psyche Modulator.

Perhaps enough of this chronic smoke

will be enough to make me wheeze and choke

And guffaw, and chuckle to disjoint my body and free my mind

To Temporarily pass right the hell out of space and fall out of time

To finally sober up and end this silly, flamboyant display of mine

I’ll huff and I’ll puff like a classic fairy tale canine

And if we can call this a poem it will conclude just fine.📖

Eureka! It worked! Suck my ink you linguistic Jerk!

Go find some other mediocre poet’s verse in which to lurk!....in.

*ahem*

As I was saying,

Perhaps it’s a talent I’ve honed over time.

I’m just thankful my talent was this and not mime.

No offense to my duochrome homies, I respect the anti-arts just fine.

But for me some things are just too much set up with no real punchline.

bravo if you’ve made it this far.

still entertained? Then, you’re an absolute star! 🤩

With me you’ll find no dark agendas or endeavors.

Just a mysterious bird that might be of your feathers

But also just a sad and lonely, alien Nerd

Whose only friend in this prison is the written word.

prison? Why, How utterly absurd!

Why would i label my home with such a word??

Never would I dare utter such terminology!

Such cockamamie slander warrants me an apology!

Among the word crafting nobles of highest celestial regard

I am a heralded saint and you a mere crusty begging bard!

My tounge might be forked and silver and my nose- long and brown.

But I will always be an honest lying minstrel and not a sad heartbroken clown.

Hm? What was that my dear? I’m sorry for that outburst you had to overhear

It’s just that The neighbors I have locked in my head

They bully my speech and critique every syllable said.

But now I suspect they’ll go away and finally drop dead

or maybe they’ll at least just make fun of you instead.

So just Relax and trade me your wonderful stories.

Go on, i won’t even find the mundane one’s boring .

Stick around, in my home you’re always most welcome.

Visitors are rare; smiling ones even more seldom.

But I think this poem can mutate one more time while i fetch

Ir seems to fancy the rhyme scheme flip from a-a to a-b

Before you say it please don’t get me wrong, comrade.

I am happy, just lonely, lost, and misunderstood...

Whether l seem overjoyed, miserable , hurt, or mad.

I feel how I feel not how i want or am taught I should....I

Most days I am thankful for whatever realm of whimsy births my art

But often These beautiful words can make things so much worse

Breaking Hearts made of glass, when mine won’t even start

I think my gift of petty prose may be just a vile Trojan horse.

If the pen I wield is mightier than their sharpest swords

And My weapons are not just verse and sloppy rhyme

Why do those I adore seem, at times, annoyed or bored

With these fleeting , flighty, flowing thoughts of mine?

So let us relax and trade our dreams and stories

Even those the other might find dreadful or boring

Anon is my name. I’m of the Land of Ohm

Giving lonely strings of words a place to call home

I have nothing to sell , I preach no religion or Champion a philosophy

All i have to offer are unsent love notes And a few cathartic apologies.

- Anon Ohmus

Mar 10, 2021

8:46 PM

[universal-kitty]

   I see nice tags from @blackquills-wife, I want to keep writing ideas. So have a bunch of headcanons/fun facts about my SI-OCs for LoZ!!! Cause I’m thinking a LOT about this series rn. Obviously.

The very first incarnation of Ethel in the timeline- during the wars of Demise and Hylia- was a sickly young woman. Separated from humanity when Skyloft was formed (she didn’t get on the land in time to ascend with the rest of them), that is what made her within reach for Orona to obtain her soul.

This implies that she died just as young as the First Hero.

Originally, Ethel was supposed to be the “failed” heroine for Orona, where Aquaria was supposed to succeed. Over the years, they’ve both grown to have their darker moments and their brighter, happier moments.

Ethel is the name for most of the incarnations of Orona’s heroine. However, there’s also Evadne (Majora’s Mask and A Link Between Worlds), Aquaria (toon series), and Saorise (Link to the Past + The Legend of Zelda & Adventure of Link).

Ethel (and her incarnations) typically are paired with one: Link. However, this romance is typically unrequited...

Aquaria- when in a Four Swords deal- typically falls for Purple/Violet Link, addressing her connections to Orona. The only time this changes is in Tri-Force Heroes, where she ends up dating Blue. (Due to her name connection and the fact Vio isn’t canon to the game...for some reason...)

She’s also had a crush on Vaati. Again, with the purples.

In Skyward Sword, Ethel moves on from her crush on Link thanks to Groose, who also had moved on from his feelings for Zelda during the course of the story. They end up married and with kids...who would one day become the Gerudo race.

(Fi is just a major AU bc I think that sword spirit is really dang cute.)

There’s also Princess Ruto of the Zora from OoT... In one timeline, that sure happened.

Ganondorf is a minor crush throughout the main storyline, but Ethel’s incarnation in Hyrule Warriors has it for the King quite badly. (As well as a small crush on the hero, as usual.)

BotW sees Ethel fall for Link and Sidon...because really, who wouldn’t? (As well as a Gerudo OC I’m still trying to make, whoops.)

It’s said that- some 10,000 years ago- she also was deeply in love with a certain king from the desert..... Hmm! (BotW 2, help me.)

Over the years, various weapons and steeds have been bequeathed to these cursed heroines. Here are some notable ones:

Arion: A black and white pinto stallion from Ocarina of Time and BotW. A horse with attitude, he’s known to be rather troublesome and sassy, but does his best to make room for that and assisting his rider, Ethel.

Ghost Reaver: Ethel’s destined sword (the Master Sword to her Link) and originally introduced in Skyward Sword, with a sword spirit by the name of Castalia. Though now dormant for centuries- much like Fi- her being still echoes through the blade with a comforting, assuring warmth... Legends like to say the Ghost Reaver can cut down any foe- alive or dead- with ease. Thus, the blade’s name.

Raim: Aquaria’s bird companion in Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass. Large enough to ride, Aquaria can ride him instead of using a boat, which makes her seasick. He isn’t one for strangers, but adores Aquaria and is very protective of her.

Shadow Bow: Detailed in Hyrule Warriors, this bow allows Aquaria to shot arrows coated in black-purple malice at her enemies. The bow glows in the same energy. Tales say this bow and it’s supply of arrows feed off of anger and darkness to power it...

Celestial Cleaver: Named in HW, this is Evadne’s secondary weapon. It’s a blade that shines like an opal, with a decorated hit and guard. There seems to be a language on the blade, but none but Evadne, Fierce Deity, and the Giants can read it.

Trident of the Giants: A rare, four-pronged trident built in reverence to the Giants of Termina, wielded by Evadne, named in HW. This is her primary weapon. It’s a rust-red color (matching the giant’s skin color) except for the tips, which fade into a light green color.

Unnamed Loftwing: Ethel’s Loftwing in Skyward Sword. Though given no name (or perhaps, one that is lost to history), they made themselves remembered through time with his coloration: black with purple sheen in the light. Tailed, with red eyes, too; worried as a bad omen, but was simply Ethel’s temperamental partner. Over time, that became that. A calm creature, nurturing and sweet... Though nervous around strangers.

Honestly, pretty close to Impa, through the timelines. Sort of like a distant relative, where they’re awkward around each other, but do care, when it comes down to it. Impa is an inspiration for Ethel, and she has a motherly sort of view on Ethel, wishing her the best for the journey ahead.

Ethel once had a crush on Sheik. Never lived it down when the truth was revealed... (Though was one of her own incarnations earliest realizations of, “Oh, I am...not straight, actually.” Especially considering- in one timeline- she’d later fall for Princess Ruto.)

In Twilight Princess, Ethel takes on the form of a panther in the twilight. (It’s because I’m cat obsessed. We know this.) Alina is her companion of the twilight. (A Twili banished from her homeland many years ago. She’s survived by staying out of the sun, hiding in caves and tunnels.)

In OoT, Ethel has a fairy named Thera. Like how Navi is short for “Navigation”, Thera is short for “Therapist.” Because damn she be needing one...

Modern AU Ethel is a Mess. Orona gives her no peace.

Speaking of the Fourth, Exiled Goddess-!! She had a lover, once. Not Demise, but a being named Ryleh. Her powers influenced his creation- much in a similar way of Demise and the other three with Hylia- and the two ended up falling in love.

Orona- in my view- is a representative of Darkness and Shadow. And though there is some evil tied in there, it is not ALL of who she is. A misunderstanding that’s only gotten worse over the years, to the point where her existence has been denied in later years. (For an idea of this, by OoT, it’s but a little known myth. By the first of each three timelines post-OoT, it’s essentially gone from all records.)

Orona is sweet, just misled. Thinking she’s doing good when she is creating chaos and cruelty. Instead of being corrected, she was shunned and banished for her wrongdoing.

...Despite this, she took the soul of who would eventually become Ethel and waited. Because it didn’t take long for Orona to miss her sisters, and long to be with them again.

[believerindaydreams]

GBU rewatch followup

...cleaned up, readable version, now with fewer typos and after-the-fact commentary in parentheticals. 

things I am looking out for in particular:

- how to write trios 

- everything that Angel Eyes does (less than I thought, it turns out; I was bang on the money with “Animal Magnetism” having him only exist for Meaningful Moments)

- the state of Eastwood’s hair (with the hat you don’t really notice it except in the desert scenes, when it is Absurd)

- some of that sweet, sweet Morricone music because it’s the one part of the film that no amount of clever writing will adequately evoke and I love it to pieces (still true)

let’s do this thing then

like, the opening credits are pure stylish flair. That can’t be a book. It’s gorgeous. It’s perfect for what it is. has nothing to do with translation to a 70s au but that is entirely, utterly besides the point

Tuco’s “I have a gun in one hand and a dead chicken in the other” will never not make me laugh

SPAIN: specifically the Spanish landscape and how gorgeous it looks. it all sort of runs together, appropriation and reappropriation and Spain standing in for Mexico…oh hello Angel Eyes,  you look a lot more impressive than Tuco does. Nice entrance.

Also we don’t actually know at first that he’s The Bad? He’s just wandering into frame like he could be the Good cowboy or something, it’s not the music that tells you. It’s the way that the guy’s family respond to his presence and just Go without saying anything. Something about Angel def. invokes silence. No wonder he and Blondie get on.

…like, this whole scene where he’s like “I am going to enjoy your delicious soup but stare at you“ is actually hilarious? Like he’s def. got a sense of humour- it’s just that everybody looks subdued with Tuco in the picture.

There’s a very thin divide between the tension of comedy and the tension of “is he gonna kill me” and Angel Eyes just straddles all over that line.

I like you, Man Eating Soup. Too bad you gotta die now.

…yeah, I think my characterisation of “bounty hunter who keeps his given word but has no qualms” is bang on the money.

last time I didn’t notice how Lee’s voice shifts to being more amused when he’s about to do something incredibly violent. Or how great his voice was at all. Like that was clearly a mistake, he’s great.

Tuco! *hearts* With a trio of men surrounding him in a triangle. ‘m sure that’s thematic.

Clint sounds like Rowdy but more terse.

Oh hell I love the way that we get closeups on Tuco staring at things. I love characters who stare at things in general (cf. Stargate and a team who communicate by looks), and Leone delivers there.

“how much you worth now” and Tuco’s just lol I dunno.

oh Tuco you theatrical hooligan nobody believes your absurd accusations. also geez I couldn’t write that many swears if I spent all day over it.

That is a DAMN sexy wanted poster.

Forgot about Blondie calling Tuco “known at the rat” part. Hmm. I wonder what that’s about?

I always forget how choreographed the duo’s escapes are, like it’s not just shooting a rope, there’s a lot of effort that go into those.

you smug thing Clint. you smug thing. (I assume this was just one of his wry looks past the camera, as he does a lot).

does trans! Angel Eyes in the 70s smoke a pipe. Yes. Yes he does.

“even a filthy beggar like that has got a protecting angel” oh Angel Eyes you has a crush. also a pretty good sense for a scam- are we meant to infer that Angel and Tuco used to play this game? (Also he has correctly assessed Blondie’s Divine Status or whatever it is that keeps him clear of disasters.) 

the way that Tuco jumps on the horse is just. pure sex appeal.

“sawed off runt” Blondie gets in 1 insult but it actually means something, as opposed to Tuco doing 10,000 for the sake of the audience

I see what you did there with putting “the good” on screen just after Blondie abandons Tuco to die horribly in  a desert. I see it.

yeah, I thought I remembered Tuco saving up all the really good insults for Spanish.

(now that I know that Eli’s from Brooklyn, I can’t *not* watch a performance of a deeply pissed off New Yorker who’s in this godsforsaken desert for the dosh but refuses to budge an inch on being a fast talking SOB. The rapid fire line deliveries for sure.)

had forgotten this bit about Angel slapping around a girl….

Aw, Tuco as soon as he finds water is A. drink some and B. play with it. awww you’re adorable Tuco

must go figure out what that thing Tuco wears on his hand is. also contemplate whether the 70s one wears braces.

yeah, like, “I got dumped so I’ll pull myself together and also drink this man’s crazy red liquor and take a hat cos I need a hat” that is peak Tuco right there.

no wait that wasn’t. What is is the exquisitely judged moment where he decides that the guy will probably want the liquor to drown his sorrows afterwards and leaves it.

I am very fond of the way that the war is presented as a disaster that is Happening but which none of the three leads give a __ about. The much maligned poster got that bang on the money.

everything looks so lived in, always, even though I assume they were building sets? Why can’t American westerns of the period look This Real, did they actually build houses or what

Blondie has vividly green eyes. Right then. Tuco’s are brown.

Tuco hires some backup to help him with Blondie. that’s…smart.

I think, actually, that Blodnie’s blue circle calico shirt is something he oughta wear in the 70s. It suits.

“your spurs” like a knight, ha. That’s a terrible gag, Blondie.

why is there so much blood on Tuco’s face. what was he doing to get banged up like that.

so he’s on a stool with a noose, with a gun pointed at him, and Blondie is still not acting like this is anything serious.

ohmigod I LOVE this bit with the cannon and the house collapsing. Hah. It seriously is like Blondie’s a force of nature though

Tuco tracks Blondie by favourite cigar stubs. Also smokes them after. Tempting to borrow that. (like they’re in bed together, Tuco steals his cigar, that kinda thing)

…is he. Is Tuco wearing flares in the 1860s. Yeah I think he is.

“I brought TWO guns” lol sure you did Tuco.

And Tuco winces when Shorty dies and is it like, two against one would make things too complex for him, or he’s mad that Blondie replaced him that fast, or what’s going on here that he let another man hang like that. Blondie doesn’t seem to mind much.

black horse = black car for Tuco.

Tuco mocking Blondie’s fair skin, like yeah there’s definitely a bit of a racial thing here.

“You’ll die. Very slowly, old friend.” also I have an umbrella ain’t it pretty

I think one of the reasons I glom on this film is because for all its length there is literally something happening every single minute. Like most films have dead time when I could, you know, breathe or something, but I haven’t stopped typing since I turned this on.

(the comedy sensibility there as well. You can’t have dead air when you’re writing comedy, things have to be leading somewhere. )

course at the moment the point is “look at this very big desert with two very small people in it”...here comes the whump. Clint sure knows how to lean into it.

sweet jesus Tuco with the sun behind you there you look like some kinda avenging 70s disco angel yourself. also the headband.

here comes the celestial music. here comes the cavalry. see, when Tuco gets into a mess he has to get out of it himself, but this is the second time that Divine Intervention has saved Blondie.

…gosh it’d be funny if that watch in the stagecoach was the Few Dollars More watch. I’m sure it ain’t.

Tuco’s not very good at interrogation. I’m sort of comforted by this, because it suggests he doesn’t do it very often.

when did Blondie get to the stagecoach. seriously when. (oh right it’s Leone. movement is a free action as long as it’s off camera)

that’s twice that Blondie’s called Tuco a rat though. what is about rats for Blondie.

maximum Clint hair fluff here. why do I have a thing for heroes with daft hair. tis daft.

I don’t think that New Mexico has goat skin waterbottles? Whereas they are all over the place in Spain. Hmm.

…okay, I have missed something. Why is Tuco wearing an eye patch now? Like, did he just look at Bill and say “that’s great I’m having that”. Anyway the way he forgets and shoves it up his face to look at the wall hanging is a hoot. (he keeps doing this like a kid playing pirates)

battle between “keeping on hat” and “oh I’m praying”- hat wins. Figures. 

Tuco still has a nasty cut on his face from before. Either this is very good continuity or Eli got hit by a brick during filming and it’s still healing. I honestly cannot tell.

Tuco genuinely doesn’t know nothing about Blondie’s past. Figures.

oh you *bastard* Tuco trying to exhort a deathbed confession. that’s probably his lowest moment in the whole movie actually- cos Blondie started it with the whole “let’s play who dumps who in the desert”

of course Blondie doesn’t fall for it. course he doesn’t. (I do wonder how much of this is Tuco wondering what Blondie will let him get away with.)

also there’s an implied passage of time during which Blondie thinks it’s hilarious to have Tuco fetch and carry for him. That tracks.

ohhhh and the Pablo scene like I have a lot of feels about this. mostly about the way that Tuco is genuinely happy to see Pablo and it all goes wrong, and I already write bits of this relationship into fics but aww…Pablo is genuinely disappointed. Tuco genuinely loves him.

(cannot tell whether Tuco shags a lot of girls or is angry with Pablo and wants him to think he shags a lot of girls. could go either way.)

BLONDIE WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS you creep

in which Tuco just straight-up makes up junk about his brother cos he has an audience. and Blondie goes along with it to the extent of giving him a cigar, and it’s- aw. actual partnership moment. for reals.

“god’s not on our side” yup, and maybe Blondie would have done something if he hadn’t been asleep? But I get the idea he’s happy to take cues from Tuco for improv. 

 Tuco’s “oh fuck” moment inf. relatable.

hello Angel. And our duo knows him, too.

…I, uh, honestly can’t figure out why Blondie thinks it’s a good move for Tuco to pretend to be Bill Carson. Like I honestly can’t see how they’d even think that was a thing to do unless they’d seen the movie up to this part. Like, Tuco and Blondie basically have to be plugged into the narrative to know to do anything here except keep their mouths shut and hope to get to Sad Hill at some point?

Angel Eyes is a practical bastard. Also a sergeant. heigh-ho.

these three definitely know each other and I can’t figure out how. What’s this friendship thing about? It is a mystery. (def Tuco and Angel have a past though. What kind?)

Also Tuco figures that Angel is gonna straight up poison him at first, so that couldn’t have been a wholly easy relationship.

…okay, I’ll have to have a scene where Tuco finally says “yes I think your being called Angel is a hoot”- it is, after all, Here.

Is it that Angel doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, or that it’s easier to fob off the trouble on somebody who does like it, or that he genuinely thinks that anyone less hefty than Wallace might not be able to shove around Tuco like this? mysteries.

I wonder what Blondie is thinking. The prison choir is the goddamn creepiest thing.

yeah, Blondie, you think you’re tough but I think you’d spill your guts out also if the alternative was gouging. That’s not Tuco being a coward, that’s just Angel Eyes treating the object of his crush/a stoic/the white guy better than Tuco. It’s not like there’s a Great Moral Principle at stake for Tuco not to talk or anything.

“We’re going for a ride” is like custom-built to be an Epic Catchphrase though.

…blood doesn’t puddle like that. Someone on production screwed up. (blood is always theatrical in this film. too red and technicolour.)

…where was I? Oh yes. Tuco’s now worth 3000 dollars and is proud of it.

And Wallace is enjoying hurting him. Wallace is exactly the type that Tuco doesn’t grok; hurt somebody because they hurt you, or because you’re mad at them, or they have something you want, but just for the sake of hurting, that I don’t think tracks for him.

(Tuco and Blondie’s scam sure has got around if Wallace knows it. I guess that could have been Angel who told him, but it’s…it’s more like this thing where everyone in the film knows things that were said on screen before? I’d have to do another watch to contemplate this, but the notion fascinates me.)

That “I can’t do it while you’re watching me” is almost cute. Like, obviously it’s a ploy to kill Wallace, but also, it’s cute.

Oh yes, the “we nearly killed Eli” scene”. Thank christ the man had a natural sense of self preservation.

Lots of people in this film wear sexy short cloaks. I love those. I want one of the trio to have on in the 70s, anachronistic or no- maybe Blondie? Dunno.

all three leads have a bit where they’re just spying on the other two. v. sexy.

I’d just like to note that as somebody who has infinite patience for wandering around deserted lonely locales, I love this desolation hotel scene.  

YES BATH SCENE, LOVE THE BATH SCENE

…dumping in all the nice bath salts cos he can. Completely undeterred by being a naked man in a bath facing a gun. continuing with the bath afterwards…

And also Blondie knows Tuco just by the gun. That’s not tracker smarts, that’s, um, divine inspiration.

kitten. Aw, you little kitten.

the way Blondie says “old friend” Angel Eyes actually suggests that it was Tuco who met Angel first.

“So that’s why you came to Tuco”. Yeah, I love mutually necessary relationships, and this one sure counts.

“I want that blond alive” yes we know Angel. We know.

“Were you gonna die alone” oh that IS shippy. 

sometimes Tuco crosses himself after a death, sometimes he doesn’t. there’s no apparent logic there.

the way that Blondie whistles and shoots a guy is max. cowboy aesthetic. also messed up.

Blondie seems cool with Tuco killing Angel. Okies.

(I guess he figures at this point that Angel will have to be waiting...)

I’d remembered the “it’s for you”. Had not remembered Tuco tearing up the paper after, but whatevers.

where does Tuco get all these hats. How? Does he just steal hats whenever he sees a new one?

Leone’s favourite trick of ‘things off camera don’t exist” is amazing. really it is. A whole army camp…

and really, this is all extra, they could just go ahead and have the cemetery duel now, but that’s not really the point.

Actually, Blondie does seem perfectly content to let Tuco do most of the talking when it needs to be done.

That whole bit with the liquor swigging- goes along with my notions of Blondie not actually being a very heavy drinker, Tuco being more enthusiastic. also I do like Tuco’s genuine “really?!” upon being told he could make colonel, like this is the first time somebody’s told him he could be something other than a priest or a bandit, and maybe he would have gone for it if he wasn’t hip deep into the 200,000 thing.

And the mutual Blondie/Tuco “this guy’s insane” looks they swap when the captain’s not looking at them, tis fab.

it’s so weird that nobody in this camp is talking…until they start yelling.

Tuco’s notion of avoiding getting killed by cannon fire is to hide as far out of frame as he can. Given how Leone framing works, this is maybe not so dumb.

it takes the entire civil war for Blondie to render a moral judgement, i. e. war is bad. I feel like he’s obscurely irritated that circumstances have forced him to profess an opinion about something.

Hang on, didn’t Blondie learn the name of the cemetery from Angel Eyes earlier? Does he actually need Tuco at this point?

Blondie next to a big case that says “explosives” is…uh, very Bugs Bunny.

…oh, yeah, it does help having a partner to blow up the bridge. Right.

it is genuinely fun, though, watching these two work as partners. They’re very practical when they want to be.

Tuco taking several minutes to gulp his way into telling Blondie his half of the secret is…interesting. Trusting. And I suspect probably saves his life later. Cos Tuco’s right and blowing up this bridge is dangerous and one of them could easily die…and he is, for once, actually doing his best to do right by his partner in a completely stupid and insane world.

lighting your cigar on the explosives is also very Bugs Bunny.

Blondie, just cos Tuco went to sleep with his arse in easy kicking position doesn’t mean you have to kick it. Also I wonder what Tuco’s whimpering there.

and the young soldier scene. I have notions about the utility of Useless But Kind Gestures that I’ve been ranting about in various 1984 postings for a while, and Blondie gets one here. Oughta contemplate that at length later.

oh look it’s the cemetery. Tuco throws away his map.

…and three minutes go clean out of my head, as they do, because the simple fact is that even with the grave name this is a ridiculous task - how do you find one grave in all five thousand? and Leone is covering for it with a mystical quasi-religious invocation to get Tuco to where we need him to be. Thing is, it works on me. Can’t talk sensibly about the Ecstasy, there is is.

The framing of Angel Eyes coming in is epic, I gotta say. First person. Have we had any first person all film?

…but Blondie, why were you having Tuco dig up Arch Stanton’s grave when it’s the wrong grave, unless you knew Angel was coming? He knows Angel’s coming is all I can think of.

also I think we’re being asked to assume that Blondie took Tuco’s gun while Tuco was asleep with his arse in the air, unloaded it, then put it back, and then kicked him awake. dang if that isn’t a sequence I would have enjoyed Leone committing to celluloid.

okay, so. Three-way.

Tuco’s thinking “if one of these people is gonna shoot me, it’s probably gonna be Angel. So I’ll shoot Angel, and Blondie probably shoots Angel too, and then we see where we are. if they both shoot me I’m dead anyway.”.

Angel Eyes, I bet, is just figuring he should get off a shot at the better shooter first, and he figures that’s Blondie.

Blondie knows who has a weapon, so he just has to spin this out and make it look good for Angel Eyes. Easy. I wonder what he would have done if it wasn’t, though?

(we aren’t ever gonna know are we)

I can’t tell who Angel Eyes is trying to shoot with his last shot. I assume it’s Blondie, but the framing makes it hard to tell?

Tuco, you hafta bring all that money back to civilisation, wrecking the bags doesn’t help there.

Ah yes. The noose. Where did Blondie even get a noose? Is it worthwhile asking the question?

I spent a long time the first time I watched this, genuinely wondering if Tuco was gonna get killed. (I didn’t want Blondie to kill him.) And I was genuinely unsure…until I realised that we were setting it up just like old times, and Blondie was gonna have to shoot him free because he always *had* shot him free, and was always going to, and it was a oroubous of a movie. Which is all the more so in the day of easy DVD rewatching.

which is not to say I didn’t quiver when Blondie levels the gun.

anyway after all he’s been through, I think Tuco’s entitled to shout that last line.

whew!

and some followups for the notes 

...yeah, it definitely makes more sense for Angel Eyes to be an old acquaintance of Tuco’s (unless you’re writing a fic where Blondie is a Weird Force of Nature and trying to reconcile two different people’s connection to him is a driving force of the plot, but I’ll remember this for the Animal Magnetism sequel).

I guess that Tuco is definitely pretending to be Bill Carson, but why? How does that help them? (I assume Blondie doesn’t see the whole torture-by-Angel Eyes coming...)

Yeah, I can see Angel Eyes as someone who’s perfected his gunslinger because his hand-to-hand isn’t so hot. Tuco’s the one who’d probably win in a straight bar brawl, but unfortunately for him that’s not the movie he’s in.