#He just got a little booboo hes ok...

[theragethatisdesire]

aot men as dads - headcanon!! some 18+!!

includes: eren, jean, reiner, & levi

i'm still working on some full-fledged one-shots and parts of my series', but i'm nannying for the summer and have BABY FEVER. please enjoy my little headcanons of my fav aot men as dads <3

DISCLAIMER: some of this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

Eren

ok but eren is such a cringe dad lol

buys himself all of the #1 Dad! merch. he’s got mugs, tshirts, hats, all of it, and all of it went on his credit card.

10000% a girl dad. loves all the little dresses and bows; he puts your daughter’s hair in its first bun, nearly tears up when she points at his matching hairstyle and babbles “like da-da!”

you have to parent eren as much as the children. when you turn the corner into the living room where he’s supposed to be having “quiet time” with your toddler only to find that they’re buried in a pillow fort and eren’s signed his own name in crayon on the wall next to your daughter’s scribblings. “babe, we can just repaint it! she’s being creative.”

loves when you’re pregnant. after your first, eren keeps a calendar on the wall marking off the days until it’s safe for him to fuck you again, fuck a baby right back into you. already has a breeding kink before your first. develops a lactation kink after.

TERRIFIED (and i mean terrified) of hurting your little angel. has absolutely zero concept of “cry it out”; if he hears his baby crying, he’s sprinting into the next room, kissing a nonexistent boo-boo.

refuses to admit it but he has no backbone when it comes to your daughter wanting literally anything. she wants it, she gets it.

favorite thing in the world is matching outfits. favorite. “babe, where’s her green hoodie? i’m wearing mine today for the park!” “of course it matters, we have to match! on that note, where’s yours?”

lets your daughter use his hair to learn how to braid. usually has a few pink hair ties or glittery clips sticking out of it when you come home from a mom’s night out.

really big on your baby getting to see the world. drags you on vacation to any place he can think of, even as you try to explain to him that she can’t form any long term memories yet. “but baby, she’ll have pictures. how many kids in her class can bring a picture of them at the eiffel tower to their first show-and-tell?”

accidentally ruins santa and the tooth fairy for your daughter. cries harder than she does over it.

aggressively vets babysitters. ends up settling for a nursing student in the labor & delivery school who’s the oldest of seven children and probably more knowledgeable about child development than both of you combined, but he’s still suspicious.

wants to watch while you push, watch his baby come into the world. you’ve never seen a sweeter sight than eren in his scrubs, crying while holding your baby girl.

Jean

most people picture eren as being the roughhousing dad, but it’s jean, and i will die on this hill.

freaks out every time he drops your first boy while throwing him around like a ragdoll, but he’ll never stop because “listen!! he’s laughing!”. when it comes to the rest of them, he’s experienced enough now to tell the difference between a real booboo and an imagined one, and he simply brushes their little pants off caringly before shouting “now you tackle me!”

jean’s got no gender preference for your first, or the rest of your little brood for that matter. he raises them exactly the same, regardless: tough.

it takes him awhile to get used to the concept of babies’ minds. you’ve walked in on him having full-blown arguments with your shrieking toddlers several times. “what’s not making sense? if you let your goldfish ‘swim’ in the toilet, it dies, simple as that.”

plays “bad cop” for you because you’re terrible at it, but he’s always having to turn around and snicker into his elbow in the middle of scolding because your babies get the same little throbbing forehead vein as you when they’re mad

wants a big family, and gets it. you practically have to drag him to get his balls snipped after your fourth, him reminding you that “it’s reversible!” the entire way there.

the newborn phase is his favorite. he’s rarely home for any longer than ten minutes without scooping your most recent addition into his arms, squishing their little cheeks and marveling at their gurgling noises.

the kids never give him anxiety, but when you’re pregnant??? jean’s a wreck.

“do your feet still hurt, love?” “what do you mean you have indigestion? that could be the baby coming!” “of course we can’t have sex, what if we poke its little head?”

definitely the dad that’s got a delivery bag and a backup bag and an emergency third backup of the backup bag in his car at all times. the first week of your third trimester, he starts watching you suspiciously for any signs of labor, even though this is your fourth together. you think you’ve got it down by now, you tell him, but he won’t listen.

always gets the kids to work together on little surprises for you. every mother’s day they wake you up with breakfast, every valentines day your dining room table is covered in handmade cards, every birthday your kitchen is coated in flour from jean and four little ones attempting to bake

SO HARD to drag him out for a date night. he wants to bring them everywhere: the fancy restaurant, the couples' get away trip

jean's that dad standing in the bar, watching the game, beer in hand, with an occupied baby carrier strapped to his chest

wants to watch during delivery, but he passed out the first go-round, so now he’s content standing up by your head, trying not to turn white as you squeeze his hand hard enough to break.

talks you into just one more on your fourth’s second birthday. “they’re all so big now. don’t you miss it, babe? my baby in your belly? c’mon…” turns out he reversed that vasectomy without telling you

Reiner

another girl dad. hardcore girl dad.

buys his little princess all number of dresses and barbies, is confused when she’s more interested in the baseballs her classmates have.

accidentally raises the most tomboyish, toughest little girl. still babies her, and she hates it.

cries more than you do on your first date night out when you leave her with your mom. forgets to order his entree at the restaurant because he’s watching the baby monitor app on his phone.

definitely the best at splitting baby duties with you. reiner’s up before you most nights when she wakes, grabbing a bottle and cooing at her lovingly even as she screams. you always try to stay awake to watch him on the baby monitor, though, heart melting as his massive arms rock the tiny bundle back to sleep.

all the neighborhood kids love him because of his size. at every cookout, reiner can’t help on the grill because he’s buried in the grass in a little army of toddlers, led by your daughter, shrieking with joy.

always taking pictures. literally always. unflattering ones when you fall asleep breastfeeding, candids at the zoo, eighteen identical pictures of the lock of hair from her first haircut clogging up his camera roll.

can’t be the bad cop. literally ever. he just can’t say no to his little princess, can’t break her precious little heart by telling her that throwing her food onto the floor is bad.

takes your daughter to mommy & me classes with him

DILF DILF DILF. all the moms in the classes swoon over him and gossip about him when he’s not there; much to your annoyance, reiner never notices, insisting that they’re his “mommy friends”.

always sporting a little bit of glitter on his face or a sticker on his back from your daughter

coming from a fatherless background, reiner nearly kills himself trying to be a constant presence in your daughter’s life (you have to remind him that he has to rest too)

never misses an open house night at school, even if it nearly gets him fired. coaches all of her sports teams. literally almost cries when she makes her first soccer goal. actually does cry when she tells you the boy sitting beside her in class called her his girlfriend. full-blown breakdown on her first day of school, so bad he has to stay home from work.

the absolute BEST through your pregnancy and delivery. always cooking your craving of the week, constant foot and back rubs, stays up all night with you for the three days before the birth when you’re just too swollen and miserable to sleep.

holds your hand through the entire delivery, gets in the doctors’ way when they’re performing checkups because “i’m her father, i need to know what’s going on”

Levi

levi never pictured himself as having children, but when your little surprise arrives, blinking up at levi with his own grey, owlish eyes, levi can’t believe he hadn’t thought of it sooner.

very easily irritated with anyone asking questions about your home life.

when his coworkers ask for your newborn’s name, levi simply says “child.” are you two trying again? “why the fuck do you need to know?”

super overprotective. your baby waves at someone in the supermarket, and levi’s leaning down to explain (in words your eight-month-old can’t yet understand) stranger danger.

totally one of those parents that goes half-crazy trying to get their child into the top-notch, snobby preschool in town.

“we’re not wasting his intelligence on the public school”

levi grew up with basically nothing, so he goes all out buying the best baby products on the market. $2,500 strollers, researching “best baby toys for development”, the whole nine yards.

100% spends months trying to get your child to make a game out of picking up his own toys after playtime, but it never works.

has a meal plan for your child to “optimize nutrition” that you have to sneak around to give your baby little chocolates and junk snacks.

“why are there pringles in his playtime bag? they have no nutritional value.”

vets anyone that comes around your child, even other children. “no more playtime with that evan kid. he’s always got a cold or something.”

he’s always been a light sleeper, but once you have your child, levi snores beside them watching kids’ cartoons on the tv like you’ve never seen him, even drooling as his head lolls, arm tucked tight around your little one.

learned everything he could about labor and delivery beforehand

you almost killed him in the delivery room as he explained each medical detail of your labor symptoms to “reassure” you. he finally got the hint when you threatened to decapitate him.

he thinks it’s shameful, but watching you be a mother turns. him. on. 

wants to take you right there when he catches you breastfeeding, watches you read a bedtime story, spin your child around laughing. you’re just so naturally good at it and it makes him love you all the more, all that love going straight between his legs.

[bubacorn]

I AM SOBBING AGAIN

What if. What if a few months after that day with iii, after he & the others kept on working with Vessel to help him let his feelings & cryings out. & Vessel has made alot of progress, but he still can't really let go, but they are honestly just so glad he is even a little bit better, so they don't think too in depth into it. Then one day Vessel is lurking upstairs bc he has been having a bad brain day & they suddenly, out of nowhere they hear a thump & start to sob loudly. It frightens the life out of all of them, so they race upstairs & find Vessel sat on the ground unrestrainedly hysterical, like they've never seen. Turns out he bumped his elbow on a door frame & it was THE final straw of his day. Iv honestly finds it so endearing (in a funny sort of way that sticks in his chest & makes him want to scoop Vessel up into his arms to protect from the world) that a little bump, of all things, was what finally broke Vessels floodgates. ii having to stifle a kind hearted giggle about the situation & all of them just so glad all the work they put into helping him know that sort of big reaction (even to something so small) was more than OK. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

I'm not sure whether the little fella was supposed to be a threat or not, but I put them in my pocket, I hope that's okay. 🥺 I wiped their tears and gave them snacks (I put slices of apple onto their knife)

Oh, I can totally see that. And Vessel feels like it's the *worst* pain and he just keeps muttering "It hurts" and it's an 'oh' moment, where they realize that it isn't the booboo on his elbow (which hurts like a bitch because it's that nerve ending), but *everything*. And III kisses his elbow regardless, just as IV pulls Vessel towards him into an awkward hug, still on the floor. And they stay there, even though Vessel's got snot everywhere and he cringes as he feels it run down his chin and onto IV's shirt, but IV doesn't let go and Vessel wouldn't be able to get up anyway cause he's shaking like a leaf.

Also, maybe I could add that there wasn't anyone who kissed Vessel's bumps when he was little, so he absolutely melts when his partners do that. One of them does it as a joke first, and Vessel gets suddenly emotional, then embarrassed, because he's a grown man tearing up from a silly gesture. But he feels so secure and he needs to be held and taken care of sometimes, more often than he would like to admit. And crying about that is a whole other journey, and going to the others when he just wants to deflate a little is again another one.

[yakumtsaki]

Tragically, I have returned. I’d like to begin this update by thanking @lurking-lilibeth​ for solving the mystery of how tf Sugar died: apparently the ‘struck by lighting’ memory is glitched and sometimes won’t show up, so the conclusion is Sugar got hit by lighting, his needs went to shit, and he crawled to the bathroom to die. A death most befitting Sugar, if I say so myself! How cute are the zombs??

-They sure are, I wanna be struck by lighting, become a zombie, and go on a date with Sandy too! 

Sophito istg, first you roll Jojo’s werewolf bs, now this, GET YOUR OWN THING

-Forget about my faildad and look at me being all pretty and wholesome and non-conspiracy-to-murderous!

YOU. Seriously, it’s been like 2 months since the last update and I still haven’t recovered from the reveal of Felina’s ‘real self’. Admiring herself in the mirror while her uncle died, there hasn’t been such a stone cold bitch around here since VICTORIA.

-I’m a stone cold bitch! Aren’t I, Servilia, you lil’ cutiepie baby booboo?

I mean you’re definitely formidable, Soph, especially when babytalking to the dogs, but you must admit you have mellowed out a lot in your old age.

-WHAT?! ME??? I’M SOPHIE THE TERROR FUCKING MIGUEL, I FEEL NOTHING. NOTHING-

-SERVILIA NO!!!! TAKE ME INSTEAD, I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR, NOTHING

-Gee thanks, grandma.

-GET OUT OF HERE YOU NON-DEATH-REACTIVE FREAKSHOW

Ya team Sophie on this one. Rest in piece Servilia, you were sweet, cuddly, batshit insane and gave us a dog heir that looks like a deer. I’ll miss you baby❤️

Felina can you have one shred of dignity and wait till Bartholomew’s birthday so this can be an even fight? 

-Did HE have a shred of dignity when he RUINED MY PARTY???

Well no but I reprimanded him for it too!

-NO YOU DIDN’T

I didn’t? Probably too busy laughing, either way knock it off!

-I can take care of myself, GET REKT, FAILINA

-HE BIT MY FINGER OFF, YOU LITTLE SHIT, ONCE YOU’RE A TEEN I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU

-I’LL MURDER YOU FIRST. I’LL MURDER YOU TONIGHT IN YOUR SLEEP

SOPHITO FATHER OF THE YEAR DO YOU MIND INTERVENING AT SOME POINT

-Is Klaus getting a little fat, Remington? 

-I think so, you should put him on a diet.

FFS, MOVING ON

I’m happy to see Cyneswith come out of mourning, and I’ll continue to hide my shock that she was in mourning in the first place.

-Does you metal back feel a little less tense now, iVan, huhu?🌸 -𝙸𝚃 𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙴 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂. 𝙸𝙽 𝙲𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃 𝚃𝙴𝙻𝙻, 𝙸 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙳𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙰𝙱𝙸𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚈 𝚃𝙾 𝙻𝙸𝙴.

That’s great, iVan, are you ever gonna develop the ability to do something around here that isn’t fighting zombies and banging the elderly?

-𝚈𝙴𝚂😉

How did you even wink??

Cyn is such a good ‘grandma’, bro I cannot. WHERE WAS THIS SHIT WHEN SUGAR WAS A KID

-I was young and hot back then!💗

You know what, enough is enough, I’m breaking this cycle of bad parenting!

Liz stop vibing with Shajar and get your ass downstairs.

-But I love Shaj! -And I love you, Liz, you’re the child I never had! 

Ok is it me or is it really becoming clear that both Shaj and Cyn wanted daughters?? Whatever, LIZ GO DOWNSTAIRS AND TALK TO YOUR DUMB EVIL KIDS

-FINE

-Little detour hehehe!  -Oh Soph, let’s get a pool table in here and relive our youth!

GO TALK TO YOUR KIDS I WILL KILL YOU BOTH

-We totally totally will, just give us 2 hours- -3 hours- -Yes, 3 hours, to ‘get ready’- -Hehe! -Huhu!

I HATE YOU

-Alright kids, we are here for you.  -We absolutely are. For 10 minutes, then we have to go upstairs again. -Exactly. So let me just start the clock here, aaand we have 10 minutes, alright, GO.  -So kids, fighting is bad.  -Yes. And we are family and we love each other.  -Right. So no more fighting, ok? -Yes, good talk! Let’s go, darling.

-If I might address the elephant in the room- -Oh he’s gonna talk too? Ok. -9 minutes 28 seconds.  -I have done my best to hide it as to not disrupt the family BUT FELINA IS BULLYING ME. -WHAT?! THAT’S IT, I WILL DROWN YOU IN THE TOILET -Felina!

-HE’S LYING, HE’S BULLYING ME, HE’S THE WORST BROTHER IN THE UNIVERSE AND HE RUINED MY PARTY, YOU WERE THERE YOU REMEMBER -We were?! -I have no fucking idea.  -WILL YOU STOP WHISPERING, WE CAN HEAR YOU -Ya you’re not even trying to whisper, you’re just talking in normal volume italics. -STOP AGREEING WITH ME -EAT SHIT

-ALRIGHT. This has gotten out of hand and we need to leave in 7 minutes and 17 seconds, so here it is. Bartholomew, you are the worst brother in the universe. -HA.

-Felina, you are a psychopathic robot. You are both terrible, terrible kids. But.. that’s just how Union kids are! -Exactly, by our standards you are normal and that’s why everyone hates our family! -So when you go out in the world, you’ll have to rely on each other because everyone else will despise you!  -They will?? -Honey, everyone hated me and your father, and we had way more going for us than you two.

-So.. no more fighting?? -No more fighting. -And being a Union is a bad thing?? -It’s not bad, it’s just that there is a preconceived notion around town that we are.. umm.. -Trash! -Trash, thank you, babe. 

-So, now that we’ve cleared this up, we’re gonna go!  -You kids get along from now on, cause you only have each other! -And don’t bother us anymore!

Well, that’s all better now. What’s up, Vic?

-THE FUCK WAS THIS SHIT~

A heartfelt family discussion, clearly!

-THE KIDS ARE FIGHTING AND THAT WAS THE BEST THESE LOSERS COULD DO?!~

Um, do I need to remind you of your parenting?

-I RAISED JOJO!~

Is that supposed to be a flex?

-I’LL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS LIKE I DO EVERYTHING ELSE!~

Oh, goodie!

-FELINA UNION~ -AAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE HELL  -I AM YOU GREAT-GREAT-GRANDMOTHER!~ -Ya I KNOW, I worship you!  -GOOD. THEN YOU MUST HEED THE ADVICE YOUR DUMBASS PARENTS GAVE YOU AND MAKE UP WITH YOUR BROTHER! UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL!~ -But I hate him and I wanna win the heirship so I can damnatio memoriae him! -FELINA, I SENSE A DARKNESS IN YOU~ -Well you better, I didn’t rebrand for nothing! -REMEMBER, THE HEIRSHIP ISN’T A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!~ -FINE, I’ll remember it! Will you go away now? -I WILL.. BUT IF SOMETHING THREATENED THE FAMILY I’D HAVE TO COME BACK.. SO DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK!~ -Crazy dead bitch! -I’M STILL HERE!~

It’s a new day and this lot is FUCKED, we’re def gonna have to gtfo. The fire that started the night Sugar died IS STILL GOING but is not acknowledged by anyone, we just have a permanent glitched fire burning in the background. SYMBOLIC

-Mmmm.. Now I know what I want for my birthday.. Failina barbecue!

Try again!

-How about a kitty? 

‘Grew up badly’ memory avoided at the last second! Ugh I’m such a pro gamer. 

Welcome to the fam, Wendy! Wendy is really cute and mean and is gonna have kittens with Shinok! Alright Barth, time to blow the candles..

-Can I blow my parents’ brains out instead? 

Ya can’t blame you on this one, WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FOR 2 MINS 

Alright, here we go, I’m not even gonna ask what you’re wishing for because we all know. 

Glitched yard background fire: 🔥🔥🔥

-WOOOO IM HOT

Not so fast, the Ti-Ning nose takes no prisoners! 

-Failina has it too!!! >:(

Well it looks better on girls, what can I tell ya! Whatever, let’s roll for your aspiration, don’t even THINK of rolling family too..

-Oh don’t worry, I sure won’t!

UGH. At least we have a normal chem panel for once as Barth likes fancy bespectacled non-blondes. Boy do I have someone in mind for you! 

NOP NEVERMIND IT’S CYN ROUND 2. FML

Ok Barth, here is your interim makeover until I download some stuff for you, how do you like it?

-I don’t know, I feel there’s something missing!

That’s just your soul, don’t worry about it!

-No no, it’s something else..

Alright I see where this is going..

-Now that’s better!

Oh ya, you look.. there are no words.

-HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY CROWN IDEA YOU FUCKING UNMOPPED VOMIT CHUNK -AT LAST THE CROWN RESTS ON THE HEAD OF SOMEONE WHO DESERVES IT -IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE WITH YOUR OUTFIT

She’s got us there, Barth, you look ridic. 

-YOU, SHUT UP, AND YOU, FAILINA, BRING YOUR HAND CLOSER SO I CAN BITE THE ENTIRE THING OFF

-YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, BARFOLOMEW. STYLING IS OFF LIMITS, IT’S THE HOLY RULE OF THE FAMILY, YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH IT!!!! -I DON’T CARE AND I WILL GET AWAY WITH IT!!!!

AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE ETERNAL BACKGROUND FALL-OF-THE-HOUSE-OF-USHER FIRE. GO TO SCHOOL, BRATS

-HEHE, here I go, first day of high school wearing a crown! Now everyone will know who’s boss!

Wow yea, that will def make people think you’re awesome and cool! 

-WOAH NICE CROWN -WHO IS THE NEW KID

WTF

-I’M BACK, LOSERS, AND I GOT AN A+ ON MY FIRST DAY THANKS TO MY BEAUTIFUL CROWN

-A̸N̵D̴ I G̸O̵T D̶E̸M̷O̴T̵E̵D A̶N̷D B̴R̷O̴U̶G̴H̶T M̴Y E̷X W̸I̷F̸E H̸O̸M̴E W̶I̴T̶H M̶E🧟

Seems like an amazing day for everyone! Where’s Felina?

OH THERE SHE IS. FELINA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-I CURSE THIS BLOODLINE

HOE DON’T DO IT

-I CURSE IT TO DAMNATION

OH MY GOD

[biancadjarin]

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince

Chapter 3 : In the Romance Aisle

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

previous part here

EM x Popular Cheerleader

self insert (Y/N) - 18+ !!! Slow burn, leading to smut but I’m kinda enjoying writing them getting to know each other🤭

The next morning, Eddie’s late to his first period, having overslept. The only thing that even got him out of bed was the promise of seeing you and the fact that it was Friday, Hellfire day. When he gets to school, everyone is already in class, the halls an empty wasteland. He uses this opportunity to slip the note he wrote you into the slat in your locker. He starts to walk towards his class but then thinks fuck it. I’m already late. Might as well skip and go smoke in the woods. So he spent the next 45 minutes at his usual picnic table surrounded by trees, the smoke from his joint floating up as he rehearses the campaign he has planned for this afternoon.

You on the other hand woke up extra early today, hardly able to sleep after yesterday. You spent a little extra time getting ready this morning, shaving your legs and making sure every inch of your body was smooth and smelling sweet. Just in case you think. Today was game day so you had to wear your uniform. You’d went to sleep with your hair in a few big rollers to give it some loose flowy curls. You carefully apply your mascara and lipgloss, making sure everything was just right. The rising sunlight through your window catches something metallic out of the corner of your eye. Eddie’s rings. You’d laid them in your tiny white porcelain tray on your nightstand that you keep your earrings in last night before you went to sleep, having washed the blood off them. You’d tried them on your own fingers but they were all too big, even for your thumb. You find a small iridescent tulle bag to drop them in, pulling the ribbon tight to close it, you slip it into the pocket of your monogrammed sweater that matches your uniform and grab your bag as you run out the door, heading for the bus stop.

Sitting on the bus, you remember most clubs meet on Fridays after school. Including Eddie’s club. You weren’t too sure what they do in Hellfire but some of the teachers seemed to think it had something to do with worshipping the devil. That’s silly. you think. Eddie wouldn’t hurt a fly. Unless that fly was a basketball player with a big mouth. So you weren’t sure when you’d see him today but you hoped you’d get an opportunity to talk.

The morning went by as it usually did. First period was full of nervous chatter about tonight’s game, the Tiger’s undefeated record hanging by a thread now that they were about to play the other best school in town. You don’t really care if the team won or lost, you just like cheering next to all your friends. The bell rang and you’re released into the hall with everyone, spilling out of the doors like a dam burst. You scan the crowd inconspicuously for the tall, long haired metal head but there’s no sign of him. You stop at your locker, letting out a disappointed sigh. Your pink manicured fingers spin your combination in, setting down the book from your first class. A folded piece of paper topples out. You catch it before it falls to the floor and unfold it:

meet me in the east library after first period.

my booboo needs another kiss.

-Eddie

You smile at the note as you reread the words. A wave of warmth washes over you, feeling a sudden burst of adrenaline and excitement. But something else too. You’re nervous. You hadn’t been sure yesterday if Eddie had been feeling anything during your hour together but now this proves that he did. The thought made those pesky butterflies reappear in your tummy, along with a tingly feeling in your palms. The bell rings and shakes you out of your trance. You look up from the note, peeking around your locker and see a near empty hallway, everyone racing to class. You’ll probably be late to second period but it should be ok, talking to teachers is a specialty of yours. Refolding the note and stuffing it into the pocket of your sweater, you walk toward the far side of the school, to the library that’s least visited.

Opening the heavy door to the library, you step in and feel the cold air prick at your bare legs. The East library is farther than the one in the main building so it’s usually empty. The tall wooden bookshelves line the walls of the large room, arranged in a U shape around a few rows of tables and chairs for studying. You scan the tables in the middle of the room and don’t see anyone. Just the elderly librarian at her desk in the corner, her nose glued to a thick book. You begin walking past the end of the aisles, eyes scanning down them for Eddie. You pass fiction, non-fiction, political, self-help. You don’t see him. You’re almost to the back of the room, nerves being replaced by worry that you had somehow misinterpreted the note.

You stop at the end of the last row of books, turning to face the open section of the room once again, eyebrows knit with confusion. You feel a hand wrap around your wrist and pull you back into the shadows. Your heart jumps to your throat when you see Eddie smiling at you. “You came.” He says, sounding genuinely surprised. You nod “I got your note.” He’s wearing his Hellfire shirt, black jeans and white reeboks, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket. He can’t be any cuter. He laughs “sorry I made you walk all the way over here”, his eyes rolling and smile growing bigger as he emphasized the words. “I just wanted to talk somewhere…” his eyes darted up trying to find the word. “Quiet.” He smiles, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

“S’okay Eddie” you say sweetly. He hums happily as he takes a step closer to you, the smell of his body wash and something skunky filling your nostrils. “You look extra pretty today princess” he says, looking down at your skirt and pinching the hem of it between two fingers. Your entire body feels like it’s filled with warm honey as your legs get covered in goosebumps. “Extra?” You ask hoping for clarification. He chuckles. “Well you’re gorgeous everyday.” His voice lowering to a whisper before he says “But especially today.” You’re sure your face is burning red so you change the subject to the first thing that pops in your head. “I hope you didn’t get in too much trouble yesterday.” You say with a worried look. His eyes soften, touched by your concern. He sucks his teeth, taking in a deep breath of air, his hellfire shirt stretching deliciously over his chest. “Nah, Higgins is a total butthead.” He says with an exhale.

You laugh, his puppy dog eyes watching your face until a distant “shhhh” causes him to whip his head to look toward the open end of your aisle, his hair uncovering the side of his eye revealing a bruise from yesterday. “Oh you poor baby” your hand reaching up to gently trace your fingers along the dark purple skin. “Ah I’m fine.” He says softly, leaning into your touch. He reaches up to your hand and brings it down, running his thumb over your knuckles and looking down, his hair falling into his eyes. His gaze travels down your entire frame and then back up, pausing to look at your lips. He smiles with a little exhale and softly takes both your wrists and pulls you closer to him, setting your hands on his leather covered chest.

He’s studying your face, eyes whispering a silent “is this ok?” and you begin to run your hands up and twirl some strands of his hair around your fingers. The butterflies in your stomach are on overdrive, your mind goes blank looking into his big chocolate eyes. He smiles “are you nervous princess?” he asks in a teasing tone. Such a bastard. He knows you are. You huff out an exhale and shake your head, determined to remain in control even though it feels like you’re standing in quicksand. Sinking further and further until you feel yourself falling. He brings a finger up to rest under your chin, every so lightly tilting it up, his thumb ghosting over your bottom lip. His eyes don’t leave your mouth as he leans close to you, seemingly in slow motion, to press his plush lips to yours.

You melt into his kiss, finally getting what you’ve been thinking about for so long, not realizing it would be this good. You never knew what you were missing and God had you been missing a lot. He brings his hands up to rest on either side of your jaw, his skilled tongue dipping into your mouth and massaging yours. He tastes like the herby weed you’ve heard he sells (not that you’ve ever smoked any) and juicy fruit gum. He begins to walk you backward into where the bookshelves become a corner. He places a hand behind your head as he pushes you into the wood and then trails it down your soft hair and lets his fingers run through and get lost in it. His other hand resting on your hip, fingers playing with the ruffles on your skirt, your arms outstretched over his shoulders, fingers lost in his frizzy curls. He lets out a breath that’s hiding a soft moan as he looks down at his hand dropping to the hem of your skirt. Your eyes flutter close as you pull him closer, wrists locking behind his neck, kissing him deeper. Both his hands slowly travel up the back of your thighs, stopping at the crease underneath your ass, letting his forefingers nuzzle there. His fingers begin to massage the bottom of your cheeks that are sticking out under your soffe shorts.

He moans louder this time, squeezing your ass as he leans into you, your back pressing against the old wooden shelves. His lips leave yours as they dip down to kiss behind your ear, you lift your neck to give him more room. He chuckles lowly against your skin, “you like when I kiss you there angel?” the breath from his whisper making a chill on the wet spot his kiss left behind. You nod once with a pout, staring into his eyes. His tongue darts out the side of his mouth as he leans back a bit, eyebrows raising as he leans his head the other way, picking a different spot to kiss next. “How about when I kiss here?” He asks as he gives a feather soft kiss on your neck. “Mhmm” you moan weakly as he begins to suck on that spot. If your brain wasn’t a bowl of marshmallow fluff you might stop him and tell him you can’t have a hickie especially before a big game but the signals from your brain to your mouth left the room a long time ago. His hands are fully exploring your ass now, your skirt flipped up and laying over the back of his hands. “Eddie” you whispered, not quite sure if it was the beginning of a statement or a question.

The sound of the half period bell vibrates above you and your eyes shoot open, wrist leaning back over Eddie’s shoulder to look at your watch. “Oh god, we’re so so late. If we leave now we might not get detention.” He snort laughs, “you’re not going anywhere y/n.” He says pulling you closer to nuzzle into where your neck meets your shoulder. The feeling of your name inside his voice making your head spin. “And hey maybe we can get detention together. Wouldn’t that be cool?” He says pulling away to look at you. Your eyes widen. You? Detention?? But looking at his puppy dog eyes growing sad at the possibility of you leaving made your heart ache. You shake your head and smile softly. “You’re going to be a bad influence on me aren’t you Eddie Munson?”

“Terrible.”

Hope you enjoyed! Please leave feedback 💕

eddie note image credit : @eddienbird

[cxhleel108]

S7 Thots for this week: Ok girl…

• Not too much lil bitch cuz I let you off last week don’t make me start up again.

• Why are we jumping into the pool fully clothed??? In FORMALWEAR no less like why is that a thing people do?????

• Uh uh. I am not finna be dealing with this Uma vs. Alex bullshit for the entire volume. I refuse.

• Girl when I say y’all are DRAGGING this little surprise Bryson got for us. Bitch, we already know what he’s finna do what is the point of building up anticipation😒😒😒

• So his “outfit change” to match with us is just the same goddamn suit but silver? Y’all pissing me off…

• So we don’t even get to change meaning that we are wearing a soaked ass dress for the remainder of this party? Y’all still pissing me off…

• Now contrary to popular opinion, I like the necklace. Well…I like the idea. The design though…girl. It looks like he got that shit from a flea market no shade.

• Bae #2 is back YASSSSS ugh he so fine😍😍😍

• Oh Joyo’s here too I guess. Nah I’m just playing cuz he lowkey look good too like hold on homeboy😏

• CLOCK IT!

• CLOCK IT!

• Evan, I love you but no…no booboo.

• CLOCK IT!

• Oh lord Evan flirting with me again. STOP IT! I’m gonna fuck you!

• Daphne trust me babe it’s not just y’all. This entire last half of the season been sending me to sleep.

• Well well well…look who tf it is.

• No y’all tbh Summer used to make me laugh a lil bit. Even though I shaded her and she kinda got on my nerves sometimes, I don’t hate her fr.

• Oh girl…😭😭😭

• Mind you, she doing this over Hamish of all men. You know what, ride for yo man sis.

• More of Alex and Uma fighting blah blah blah can we move the fuck on????? Damn!

• We are so cute ugh.

• Bryson…please.

• Y’all been saying this all season and I have yet to see neither one of these muthafuckas. How are they not here??? Bitch it’s literally the reunion party.

• I’m so glad we corrected him cuz don’t make it seem like I chose to get with her.

• Once again, I like the treasure hunt idea, but I really wish we weren't being gifted jewelry from Goodwill. I hope at least the engagement ring is cute and classy (yes bitch let's not play dumb that's exactly where this is going).

• These jokes chile. Bruno stop possessing Bryson’s body please!

• OMG QUEENIE’S BACK YAYYYY! AND HER DRESS IS CUNT!

• OH BITCH-

• Uma…you on yo own niece I can’t help you anymore😭😭😭

[write-o-rama]

captain headcannons :3 ;

1 ) he has SUPER bad sensory issues , thats why he hates wearing clothes . though , hes found he likes cottony or soft things if he has to wear them . he especially hates long sleeves or pants . they rub against his arms and legs wrong when hes trying to get bad guys . DUHHH ! also , when he cannot wear his cape and he ' s supposed to be masking ( and does it horribly ) , he wears this one large red t - shirt . its soft , almost velvety . his ultra favorite . good texture ^_^

2 ) he has bandaids EVVERYYWHERE . hes super duper clumbsy and doesnt pay attention to his body much !! gets booboos easy :( poor goober !

3 ) back when krupp originally became captain & they began sharing a body , captain got upset with the mullet . the moment krupps partner edith passed , captain cut it all short and does it every time it gets too long for his liking . he threatens to cut it all off if krupp doesnt go to the barber and get it short again . if it werent for him , krupps hair would have been DRAGGING on the GROUND . rapunzel era !

4 ) krupp has always had extra canines that poke out when he smiles , which is why theyre never seen as much . captain is a smiley little goob so theyre almost always showing . why bro so :3

5 ) he LOVES the pool . hes not allowed in the water for obvious reasons but he loves sitting in his floaty with a reason to be in only underwear . krupp does not appreciate this . he almost always gets soaked because captain forgets and tries to jump in the water . poor critter , he just try have fun :[

ok ummm you can request any if youd like :3 im just spitballing GAHH i love you caprain underpant3s . .

[stunkers]

Ok more info about the freehoun borrowers au because I’m so normal about it and all the cute boys are always sending me love letters asking me to tell them about my sick and diseased brain ANYWAYS

yeah so like basically Gordon is a borrower who lives in the blackmesa topside dorms specifically Barney’s apartment/dorm. Gordon has never been down in the facility but he knows damn well if he gets caught his ass is gonna get sent down there to run through a rat maze and worse shit!! Gordon ended up in the dorms completely by accident his dumb ass got stuck in someone’s luggage and that’s how he ended up in New Mexico.

And Barney has always kinda known about borrowers, his Mum told him about them when he was a kid and ever since then he’s always just been. Very aware of his living space. Like he notices the things go missing and he starts leaving little chips and stuff out on the counter just so he can see them disappear the next morning and he knows it’s not roaches because the facility and everyone else’s dorms got bugs but no his is so clean and tidy. (It’s because Gordon keeps every single bug he sees as a pet. Or he eated them.) so Gordon won’t get anywhere close to him or let him see him on the off chance that since Barney’s a security guard he might catch him and bring him into black mesa. Ahh!! Also gordon has seen the silly books barney reads he would definitely try and catch a silly weird little critter.

Anyhoo just like real halflife Gordon he is always breaking and smashing shit. Totally not on purpose here it’s just how he is but he smashes a glass while he is fighting off an especially large cock a roach that somehow fucking got in. All those damn chips barney keeps leaving out Gordon can’t eat them all. Roach got hungy. Gordon manages to kill that damn thing but owie he got a big hurtie cut on him! And that roach fucked him up bad! And fuck Barney definitely heard glass ball shatter!! Shit!! So he tries and hides while Barney is cleaning up the glass and a roach that has a sharpened tooth Pick imbedded into it and he sees a trail of blood leaving the scene leading under the couch and there’s a mouse man who is 1 apple tall who is hurt bad and very very scared.

Gordon freaks out and tries to run but he’s got a booboo and can’t get very far before barney corners him and Gordon’s like “oh this is the end I’m gonna get trapped under a cup and dissected” but Barney just gets down to his level and he’s like “hey you got a booboo. I know aid let me help u I’m not gonna hurt you I prommy” Gordon is. VERY reluctant at first but he also can’t take care of these wounds himself and he’s mostly just scared shitless so he agrees and wow barney is so nice and gets him patched up. And Gordon’s like well shit now I can’t stay here I got seen and Barney’s like. Hey you know damn well I ain’t gonna do anything to hurt you. Let’s be roomies it’ll be fun. Gordon agrees and wow they are so close now. Love wins also Gordon rides around in Barney’s shirt pockets btw. Barney started wearing shirts and jackets with breast pockets more specifically for Gordon it’s so awesome. Also the rescas still happen. I have stuff for like plot of HL2 but it’s a lot and this post is already long sory

Sorry I have a terrible brain disease if you read all of this god have mercy your wretched soul I hope you didn’t catch the illness

[thorin-baby-bear]

pssspss can i request any IT character agere headcanons? Its ok if u dont wanna do this rn because ik people are requesting a lot of DPS i just have brainrot

Also- Hearts for you 💗💕💕🖤💖❤️‍🩹💛💗💕🖤🧡💕💗💛❤️‍🩹💛💗🤍🤍 - 📔 anon

Yes I love IT so much, I am always happy to write for it :D

I decided for the character I would pick the character I stole my name from, so here it is:

Eddie Kaspbrak Agere Headcannons!!

He 🤌 is 🤌 a 🤌 BRAT

My guy needs all of the attention ALL THE TIME

He "forgets" that he has to play nice with others

Especially when it comes to sharing

But he can also be very caring when he wants to be

He's always there to help if a friend has a booboo, emotional or physical

He has lots of bandaids, all different themes based off of things his friends enjoy

He has specific ones for each Loser

Ben has Scooby-Doo themed

Beverly has butterflies

Richie has Sesame Street

Stan has birds (of course)

Mike has farm animals

And Bill chooses whichever one he wants

He's not as afraid of sickness and getting dirty as when he's big, but he still dislikes mud and muck

Which is a shame because Richie is one of the messiest littles ever and when they play of course Eddie gets dragged into it

Stan usually has to stop Eddie from jumping on Richie after one of Richie's messier pranks

Eddie loves playing with all the Losers, but his favorite playmates are Richie, Bev, and Ben

Playdates would be more often, but Eddie usually needs a few days to recharge before more playing

Stan and Mike usually end up watching the little ones

Eddie and Richie are also both flips

But Eddie usually leans more towards little than caregiver

He loves to watch the Muppets and cuddle with Richie

He's an absolute cuddle bug when regressed

He also babbles a lot to get attention

Depending on how little he feels, he'll cry to relieve stress

Long day at work? Has a good long cry

Playing too rough and got hurt? Nothing a good cry can't fix

Not enough attention? Hey, maybe crying will make Richie pick him up!

He felt really shy and uncomfortable having other people around while regressing for a long time

Then the others came forward with their regression and he felt more comfortable

Group cuddle sessions are a must

Great stress reliever

Bath time is best time for Eddie

Bath toys galore

Fun smelling shampoos

Richie likes to surprise him with new epsom salts and bath bombs a lot

He also will not go to bed unless he is read a story

Richie always does the best voices

Even if Eddie is put to bed in his own special bed (which he rarely ever is), he always ends up in the master bed cuddling with Richie and the other never complaines

It's a perfect way to end their day :33

📔 anon thank you you are throwing me back into my fixations and I'm loving every second of it 🤌🧡

[hotpinkboots]

I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER WITH THE MANDALORIAN SEASON 3 FINALE

I was just a *tiny* bit disappointed that nothing came out of Mando getting tied up and looking pretty on his knees (I WANTED TO SEE HIM INJURED >:))) ), but it was so cute how Grogu came to save his daddy LOL. The bacta spray part was adorable I love the call back to past episodes like that it's adorable.

ALSO I LOVED HOW BO WAS FLYING LIKE A BADASS AND TURNED ON THE DARKSABER LIKE THAT IT WAS SO UNNECESSARY AND DRAMATIC I LOVED IT LMFAO

Armorer Bonking People Supremacy

oh also when Mr. Mando said something about "this could get messy" or whatever he said it was something along the lines of that I had to stop myself from oohing and awing and moaning because of the way he said "messy". thank you

ALSO HOW THE HELL DID EARMUFF GIDEON BREAK THE DARKSABER THINGY????

AIDJDKDJJD

When I see Din getting thrown around I automatically scream and cry and wave my hands around and yell. I always need to be prepared like "ok Mando may get thrown" because I need to like jump through the screen and save him or some crap idk

GROGUUUU USING HIS BABY GOOGOO GAGA POWER TO SAVE DIN AND BO FROM THAT BIG ASS SHIP CRASH?? AMAZING. THAT MOMENT WAS BEAUTIFUL LOOK AT THIS YOU GUYS

LIKE WHAT 😭

Also his little sit at the end omg holds gently baby baby baby booboo tired from using his googoo gaga powers

It's always so bizzare to see Grogu like jumping around and stuff though 💀 like OKKK WELL I THINK WE OVERDID THAT JUST A BIT LMFAO I forgot baby can do parkour. Everytime I see Grogu doing parkour all I can think of is that parkour scene from The Office LOL

I do think Earmuff Gideon "died" too easily there's no way he's dead. Also what if that wasn't him and it was just one of his clones or something. And even if it wasn't a clone that's way too easy of a death. His scream at that part tho man that was insane I LOVED IT

ALSO MANDO FINALLY ADOPTED BABY YODA. LIKE. IT'S OFFICIAL AT LAST I kind of thought it already was a thing but like now it's a THING like they are ACTUALLY family now

Also also also I have been thinking for a good like six months now where are Grogu's parents. Like I know they're probably dead or won't come into the show or plot or anything but it's worth thinking about. And Order 66 was a while ago man so like how long was Grogu just chilling around in his lil space pod perambulator. whO ARE YOUR PARENTS KID

ALSO MY BOY IG-11 COMING BACK I FREAKING EXPLODED MAN 😭 like DUDE AT LAST I MISSED YOU

It was *so* satisfying to see Din now having a home base. Not a ship, a *home.* We haven't TRULY seen him relax EVER in this show. I thought it was so sweet that he had a place where he could put his feet up for once and just watch his kid/apprentice play. That really was the thing that got me, finally seeing such a strong, stoic character finally able to relax, sit back, and enjoy himself for a while. What better way to do so than by putting your feet up and watching your kid play? It's such a good feeling to see one of my favorite characters at last having a moment of true peace.

And that leaves it open for more adventures, no crazy cliff hanger that makes us wait impatiently for like a year or two, just relaxation and peace for once, just thinking that Din and Grogu are somewhere out there chilling :')

So they get to chill out until the next season which is a good feeling I cried my face off seeing the two of them relaxing I KNOW I KEEP SAYING "oh they're relaxing they're relaxing finally peace omg relaxation" BUT IT'S TRUE. DIN'S ALWAYS FIGHTING HIS ASS OFF BRO HE DESERVES A BREAK

So yeah I could NOT be happier with the ending of this season. The season OVERALL was pretty boring, so I'm disapponted about that, but the last two episodes were *chef's kiss*

also mythosaur or however you spell it. WAKE YO ASS UP BROOOOOO

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

It’s time for this week’s Horrible-Scopes! So for those of you that know your Astrological Signs, cool! If not, just pick one, roll a D12, or just make it up as you go along. It really doesn’t matter. Better yet! Check out “Heart of the Game, Fredonia” and see if they can sell you those D12’s with the symbols on them. Tell them “Shujin Tribble” sentcha. And “Hail, Hail, Fredonia!” Home of the Blue Devil!

No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn, oh, and something else we don't have: anything to lose! So, if you are sitting up there in your silly little spaceships with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! And then… AND THEN… do the smart thing: Let Someone Else Try First.

Aries 

We keep telling some of you to go out there on a car day-trip, maybe rent a super car, or hop a train and do it that way. Well this time we’re going a different way - Get Out On The Water! Book a berth on a fishing boat, wake up at WAY too early in the morning, and go out fishing. Just remember that whatever you catch is going home with you as food. So This Week… Buy a good sized cooler that’ll hold about 10 pounds of ice without leaking. 

Taurus 

If you’re going on vacation choose where to go carefully. Yes you could go to Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming… but if you REALLY want to see Yogi and Booboo Bear, plan your visit to Yogi Bear's Jellystone Park Camp-Resorts! There’s plenty of places to choose to visit; from Annapolis Valley, Nova Scotia to Lodi, California. So This Week… You are not permitted to tempt the bear with pick-i-nick baskets. You WILL be spotted and “excused from the park”. Do NOT try it.

Gemini  

Are you a SuperHero? You’ll probably say, “No”, but that’s not the correct answer. The answer isn’t, “Yes” either. The only correct answer is, “You need to ask someone else.” Because YOU might not think you’re that special, but we’re pretty sure someone else out there knows you are to them. So This Week… Batman didn’t have any superpowers, but he was able to pickpocket a power ring off Green Lantern Hal Jordan. Let’s also acknowledge that this WAS Hal Jordan we’re talking about, so not THAT big a task. But Still!

Cancer Moon-Child 

We were going to ask you if you knew the lyrics to the song, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” - those first mambo-jumbo words that don’t seem to mean anything. Well, turns out THAT song is a cover! The original song title was "Mbube" (the Zulu word for "lion") and was written and first recorded in 1939 by Solomon Linda, a South African Zulu singer. "Wimoweh" is a mishearing of the original song's chorus of "Uyimbube"… Zulu for, 'You are a lion'. So This Week… Follow EVERY rabbit hole of information you can! You will learn so much!

Leo 

OH! We’re not even CLOSE to done discussing songs where we never understood the meaning! Let’s go to the 1976 hit, “December, 1963 (Oh What a Night!)” by The Four Seasons. You need to listen to those lyrics again because we KNOW you won’t just take our word for it. Hear, take a listen. “Oh, I… I got a funny feelin' when she walked in the room. And my… as I recall it ended much too soon.” So This Week… Don’t go overthinking this one. It’s about a First Time One Night Stand! Stop thinking that pop music was never about sex!

Virgo 

Ok. One more song and its lyrics. But this time it’s a cartoon series theme! It goes like this… “Amp it up! Amp it up Action Man! Action Man, Amp It Up! Amp It Up Action Man, Greatest Hero Of Them All!” So This Week… He may have been the “Greatest” hero, but he wasn’t the FIRST Superhero the world has ever known. THAT honour goes to Captain Caveman! Go look him up. 

Libra

We get that you don’t like some food because of the texture. Don’t like raw tomatoes in Caprese Salad but you like pizza sauce? Perfectly understandable. You’ll happily eat apples but loath applesauce? Ok, we get you. But we draw the line at Peanut Butter with you. So This Week.. those of you that like Chunky, Crunchy Peanut Butter are dead to us now. Hope it was worth it. 

Scorpio 

You know how big Canada is? It has two major, recognized languages, dozens of localized dialects, who-only-knows how many native languages, and more waterways than you could count! And Canada is, arguably, the SINGULAR Most-Important country in the world, and you never realized it. And now you get to learn why. So This Week… The North Pole is in Canada. And WHO LIVES AT THE NORTH POLE?! That’s right! And it’s only FOUR MONTHS until Christmas! Get Your Holiday Purchases done NOW!

Sagittarius 

What the hell have you been smokin’ last week? Don’t you even TRY to lie to us, we know what you’ve been doing and you need to cut it the hell out! And no, we’re not going to drop cold water on you to put it out! So This Week… You need to watch how hot your deep frying oil gets! 400F is too damned close to the Flashpoint of pretty much EVERY oil you might be making poutine fries with. CUT IT OUT! 

Capricorn 

You’re really in need of a hobby, but always thinking you’re not good enough at something quickly enough. It’s. A. Hobby! It’s not a job. You don’t need to make money off it and you don’t have to be perfect at it. It’s supposed to be something you enjoy; It’s supposed to be “whimsey”, not stress. So This Week… You either need “eBay For Canadians For Dummies” or “Anger Management For Dummies”. Either way there’s a War Crime’s a’commin’! 

Aquarius 

Nothing’s going wrong for you this week, and we’re proud for this one! Things will be arranged in such a way to be “close, but no collision” and it’s a double-edged sword. Problem is it’ll be a little stressful watching things happen near you, but you’ll be safe. So This Week… Buy and wear a full-body chainmail suit. If Zeus wants to smite you, make sure he has to WORK at it for a change. 

Pisces  

The Flying Spaghetti Monster has caressed your karma with His Noodly Appendage and bestowed upon you his blessings. Your reaction times will be improved, your die rolls superior, your sense of smell improved, and your voice will rival that of a cardinal. So This Week… Honestly, things are a little tight for us on money. We’re having a hard time bribing The Stars to give you special dispensation. So it’s time for you to cough up some dough, ‘cause… You know, that’s a nice Fortune you’ve got there. Be a SHAME for something to happen to it next week. 

And THOSE are your Horrible-Scopes for this week! Remember if you liked what you got, we’re obviously not working hard enough at these. BUT! If you want a better or nastier one for your own sign or someone else’s, all you need to do to bribe me is just Let Me Know - or check out the Ko-Fi page ( https://ko-fi.com/icarusthelunarguard )! These will be posted online at the end of each week via Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Discord, and BLUESKY.

[slavabogu]

i love the dining room setup where the side near the window is a bench or couch (we did couch once when i was a kid when they bought new furniture for the living room) and the rest chairs. how absolutely cozy

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Omg the wolfram continuation was EVERYTHING!! And since requests are open I’d like to do one more ;) could you do some domestic style fluff with him and reader after the fact? Like— I LOVED that whole “I’m ready for a baby sister” with Sieglinde sm 😭 maybe you could do something like that? Or maybe when they dooooo tell her (and wolfram) that reader is pregnant? I’m such a hoe for this freight train of a man ah ma gad 🐺 please and thank you soooo much 💜

BOOBOO YOU’RE SO SWEET!!

literally send me all the requests ever ok I LOVE THEM so much

here’s something for this, I think it’s cute!!

Wolfram is so damn excited aaaaaaah SWEET BOY

For the longest time after SIEGLINDE asked you and WOLFRAM when you were going to have a baby, you didn’t know what to say.

Now, following a visit to the doctor, you finally do.

Although you can’t be perfectly sure when you conceived, the physician thinks you’re far along enough that your biggest guess is that it was when you and Wolfram made love for the first time. When Sieglinde asked, the two of you had a talk about it, deciding that you’d both be glad if it happened. So you’ve had sex a few more times since then, but… you think it was that first time that did it.

You’ve not quite known how to tell either of them the news yet. The last few days everyone, including you, has just thought you haven’t been feeling well, just tired. Even through dinner, with both of them asking how you’re doing, you don’t know exactly how to phrase it.

Then, after dinner while you work on mending some of everyone’s clothes, Wolfram comes over to set Sieglinde next to you, almost certainly at her request. She presses into you and smiles, putting her arms around your middle. “Mutti, Wolfram says I have to go to bed soon, but I’m not tired. You will tell me a story so I get sleepy, please?”

“Oh, that would make you sleepy?” you giggle as you pull her into your lap. “Of course, sweetheart. I’ll make one up just for you, let’s see…”

You think for a moment, then an idea pops into your head. “Ah, alright, well. Once upon a time, there was a young princess who lived in a forest, and her name was Sieglinde.”

Your little girl gives you a noise somewhere between a giggle and a scoff. “Is this story about us?”

“Hmm, maybe,” you tease. “It’s a good one, though, I promise. Now, Princess Sieglinde was a very smart, beautiful girl. But, she was unable to walk, so she was trapped in the forest, because there were… a lot of wolves out there among the trees who would attack other living things. And the woods were too thick… even if she could walk, it would have been a long and dangerous journey. So she stayed in her castle, away from the outside world, making inventions and reading. However, she did have one loyal companion by her side ― her loving, attentive father, Wolfram.”

From the corner of your eye, you see Wolfram straighten up in pride; the sight makes you smile. “He took good care of her, and even though they were stuck in the forest, they found some happiness day by day.”

A hand combs gingerly through her hair as she nestles in against you. “But one day… a group of travelers from another land were coming through the forest, and they stumbled upon the castle, where they were given a place to stay. Several of the travelers were inhumanly strong, so after learning that Princess Sieglinde and her father were trapped, they offered to help the two out of the woods.”

Wolfram decides to sit down on your other side, setting a candle in its holder on the table beside him. “Some of the travelers was know-it-alls.”

You snort and lean to give him a kiss. “… Yes, but Wolfram got over it.”

“Pfui! If you say so.”

“Well, I’m the one telling the story, aren’t I?” Things have to be shifted a bit, with you leaning toward him… it’s nice, though. Almost like one big cuddle. “Where was I? Ah… so, they all set out. True to their word, the travelers brought Princess Sieglinde and her father to safety on the other side of the forest. With perhaps a few scrapes here and there, they made it in one piece. Grateful to the travelers and unsure of where to go now that they’d found freedom, Princess Sieglinde and Wolfram followed the travelers back to their homeland.”

Sieglinde blinks a few times, looking as if she’s starting to get tired. “What happened after that? Surely it’s not end there?”

You nod. “You’re right, it doesn’t end there. After settling down, Wolfram fell in love with a woman.”

“(Name), right?” Sieglinde brings her legs up onto the sofa, tucking them under her. “And she married Wolfram and decided to be Princess Sieglinde’s mum?”

You can’t help a laugh from escaping as you give her a squeeze. “You haven’t heard this story before, have you? I thought I made it up just now! Haha… that’s right, though. (Name) married Wolfram and decided to be Princess Sieglinde’s mum. And one day, Princess Sieglinde asked for a little sister. So, (Name) made a wish on a star…”

Your eyes flicker up to Wolfram. Although he’s listening to the story just like Sieglinde is, his eyebrow is raised at you. “A wish on a star?”

Your next words come out in a whisper. “… And it came true.”

Almost immediately, Wolfram’s eyes widen. You can see every single thing he’s feeling reflected in them; joy, fear, relief, he doesn’t seem to know how to feel. For so much of his life he’s lived only feeling one thing or another, with things being simple, and now he’s feeling so many different things at once. When he speaks, his voice trembles like its feet are on the edge of a crumbling precipice. “It came true?”

“It did,” you smile, and you’re… almost prepared for his reaction, but not fully.

Of course, given that his reaction is to hug you tightly and whoop, “Hurra! Hurra! Hurrahurrahurrahurra―!”, it’s a bit hard to anticipate. He buries his face in your neck, laughing, suddenly elated in a way you’ve never seen him express before.

Even when he pulls his face back up, he’s beaming. Though he looks a bit embarrassed about the outburst, he comes in to kiss you, with both of his hands moving to cup your face. “This is… wonderful. So ― so you’re… schwanger?” Oh, dear, that’s so precious… he can’t bring himself to say the word in English. You think he might burst if he did. “Ah, Gott…”

“Schwanger!” Sieglinde chirps, instantly awake. “So, you approved my request! I’m going to have a little sister!! Hurraaaaaaaa!!!”

With that, she practically launches herself into your lap, pressing her head and hand against your stomach. “My little sister is in here! Can she hear me yet? I don’t care if she can’t… I want her to know she’s the best little sister in the whole big world!”

“Sieglinde…!” Wolfram’s still laughing, albeit a bit quieter. “You need to go to bed―”

She shakes her head, staring up at him with big eyes. “Vati!! You can’t expect me to sleep now!”

“You can’t argue with that,” you hum as you nestle in against him. “It’s exciting news.”

Well, at least she grins at you for being on her side. “Mutti, can I give my little sister her name? Pleaaaaase?”

“If you go to bed right now,” is the dry answer she gets, before you even have a chance to open your mouth.

Even though Sieglinde probably isn’t going to be heading to sleep anytime soon, you’re glad about the fact that you told both of them at last. Even though your baby isn’t very big yet, you still put your hand over Sieglinde’s on your stomach.

Everything is going to change. It’s going to be overwhelming. And you can only speak for yourself, but…

You feel like things are, finally, exactly where they’re supposed to be. For all of you.

[cutual]

Ok fucking finally anyway i am so so tired of this going on for so long not talked about if you follow that raggedy anne white croatian fujo bitch Mika @himikotoga prev @pwer prev @ochaka @krbk whatever else either get off my page or rot or block him if you have a brain i cant stand it any more omfg !

That little shithead does not get to go around acting like everythings all fine when he was a freakishly obsessive dickhead over his brown ex boyfriend last year, not only continuing to be creepy & too comfortable with affections towards his ex but also directly showing the cringiest jealousy & even telling his ex's bf that he Hated him when his ex had gotten into a new relationship later. & literally would ship his friends without asking as if thats some shit that anyone likes or thinks is normal. & disappeared from the group without any apology nor means to dissolve the situation rather than blocking us and hoping nobody would talk abt it lol.

Plus he got his own agefaking white 14 year old tweedle-dick & tweedle-dumbass friends to buddy along in harassment and dming us with whatever slurs that little white gays could grasp for straws to say after telling his own booboo poor white person side of the story & painting us in a bad light when that bitch was literally just another weird fetishistic "uwu my meow meows hehe uwaa so cute" fucker who joked about being a fujoshi & wanted to make his ex of color "the bakugo to his kirishima <3" for some weird racist weeb reasons i cannot explain. The one who has a soft yandere uwu white boy OC to date his Tall Intimidating Nice Brown Boy OC for other reasons i dont even wanna know . Since this fake ass cat piss scented looking lying ass no-mask-wearing CUNT wants to act like hes normal for some reason im sure he wouldnt mind me talking about the shit hes pulled & covered up in secrecy while acting all googoo gaga on his page 🤨

throwback btw

[rexscanonwife]

OK but I'd definitely be kind of the designated 'mother' to the 501st to march Rex's 'father' energy 😂😂 I was talking to my bff about Kepler maybe getting a little scrape or cut on a mission and saying he "has an owie" so I reply with "aww, you got a booboo? :(" half jokingly, but still with care and take out a bandage or smth for him

And one of the 501st men turns to Rex and goes "Hey, I've got a booboo too" and Rex is like "you're a grown man, just walk it off!" To which I say he's being too hard on them just to tease him in that way he can't help but love so he just smirks and rolls his eyes while I dote on that 'poor, wounded soldier' and its just a fun little moment 😂😂

[rikalovesrice]

ALL RIGHT NERDS.

RoTT trailer’s dropped so it’s time to scream.

deep breath

AASL;DKFJADHLJAFHD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MY CHILDREN LOOK AT ALL MY PRECIOUS CHILDREN TOGETHER AND BEING FRIENDS AND A FOUND FAMILY ASDJKLAJDLFAK;JDFADKAFJDLF

AND DOUXIE 

DOUXIE MY SWEET PRECIOUS AMAZING BOY LOOKIT HIM BEING A MASTER WIZARD AND A COOL BIG BROOOOOO

JIM. JIM MY PRECIOUS SON GOT EXCALIBER HIM SO WORTHY YESSSS

WARRIOR QUEEN AJA MY GIRL BACK WITH HER TECHY LITTLE BRO KREL MY SON

ELIIIIIIIII YOU ARE SO TALL NOW MY BOY

VARVATOS, NOMURA, WALTER AND BARBARA, STEWART, STEVE A;LKDFALKDJFADFADKFJADAJDHGADFDHFA --

Ahem.

Okay now that that’s done, time for a wee bit of analysis and theorizing. 

So. The Titans have indeed risen (okay guys what were we expecting it’s literally the title of the movie lol). A titan of Fire, one of Ice, and one of Earth. When exactly Nari will be captured by the Order is of course unknown. It seems like Bellroc is sort of piloting the Fire Titan somehow....I’m assuming Skrael will be doing the same with the Ice Titan.

Nari....Bellroc and Skrael have to have done something to her. Some sort of mind control spell? I can’t say. However this image is quite curious to me :

It looks to me like Douxie’s trying to talk something down, with Jim and Claire looking very hesitant behind him. Maybe he’s trying to reason with and speak to a mind controlled Nari??? Perhaps, perhaps. But either way, it does look like he’s taking the lead in handling something.....Or it could just be Jlaire being like, “Um no, Douxie, bro do something.” lol (also why is he so pretty omg he’s so beautiful douxie my husband uwu)

ALRIGHT. Jimbo wielding the swordy sword.

Also Douxie riding on Aaaargh gives me so much joy hehehehee

Hmmmm wonder why Excaliber’s crystal is detached and what significance that holds. A piece of the Heart of Avalon? And there’s also that green glowy orb Douxie’s holding. They could possibly be connected. (Also Jim bebe what happened to your hand??? ;___; I wanna kiss all his booboos and tell him is gonna be ok poor bebe)

I BETTER GET MY RECKLESS CLUB SEGMENT AND FOUND FAMILY FLUFF, MOVIE.

Ahem. 

Blinky....Yeah. I don’t think Blinky’s gonna make it, guys. 

“We have magic, aliens, trolls....and Blinky.”

*SHOWS BLINKY LOOKING SOFTLY AT JIM LIKE THE SURROGATE FATHER HE IS*

That’s a odd amount of emphasis being put on our favorite troll dad and it only smells like sadness T__T 

Or maybe they’re just.....trolling us. (aaaaaaye) LORD I HOPE SO THIS MOVIE’S ALREADY GOING TO DESTROY MY EMOTIONS DON’T DO THIS TO ME--

Cough

Obviously there’s still heaps of information we won’t get until the movie finally comes out because I kinda doubt they’ll have a second trailer (but boi that’d be crispy and lively in equal measure).

I’m fairly certain that Charlie was confirmed for the movie but we haven’t seen him yet, and Del Toro hinted at Jim’s biological father being in the movie somehow. Archie’s in the poster for the movie but we didn’t see him in the trailer.....My guess is that he was probably captured (because losing your Familiar has to be devastating and Douxie seemed alright for the most part.....but who knows.) OR HE KEEPS FLYING AROUND OFF SCREEN LIKE ARCHIE GET IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA AND STOP WORRYING PEOPLE.

Still hoping for the massive Endgame war with an army of trolls, Akiridions, and hedge wizards/witches (Zoe...? Still hoping for Zoe >_<) CAUSE HOW EPIC WOULD THAT BE Y’ALL LET’S GOOOOOO. 

Okay long post is kinda long. I’m SO excited for this movie. The animation looks gorgeous, my children are all together saving the world, more Douxie more Douxie more Douxie and feels are going to be felt and we’re all about to hurt so good hohoho...... :’)

Also

MY POOR BABY LOOK HOW EXHAUSTED AND HURT HE IS PLEASE GIVE HIM HUGS AND NAPS T__T

okie i’m done .___.

[willexxmercer]

17 for willex?? your writing is AMAZING

You’re too sweet and I am definitely still taking requests!  I bumped yours to the front of my list, though, because of the new Booboo pictures today inspiring me ;)

I am apparently incapable of writing short things.

From this - “Ok, well... fuck”

Taglist: @screamin-amuseum @thedepthsofhell @iridescentkippen @owenmercers @oldsmobile-hotdogs @phanhowell @williexmercer @lyxchen @chickwiththepurpleguitar @sk8rwillie @mynameisntluke @julieandthequeers @fairylightsandrainydays

Alex was convinced the universe was conspiring to end him right then and there.

Because otherwise, why would the stars align perfectly at that exact moment and have him walk in on Willie, standing shirtless in the middle of the studio, their hair done up in two neat french braids.  Their attention was on something on the floor, a canvas splattered with paint, and they were holding a cup and a paintbrush covered in red paint.

He kept going back to the braids, though.  And the lack of a shirt.  Willie was gorgeous, no matter what, but this?  Alex’s mouth felt like it was filled with cotton balls as he stared, no doubt gaping.  With their hair up like that and no shirt, he could appreciate the way Willie’s muscles rippled as they whipped the paintbrush, sending a splatter of paint across the canvas.  Alex gulped, unable to drag his eyes away.

Willie turned, then, their face lighting up.  There was a splatter of paint across their upper chest, and Alex’s brain shut down.  There was only Willie, standing there, tucking the paintbrush behind their ear, looking at Alex as though he was the center of the universe.

(But really, that was impossible, since Willie was the centre of Alex’s universe)

“Hey, Hot Dog,” Willie said, their voice light and airy.

He swallowed, trying to remove the lump in his throat.  “H-hey,” he said, stumbling over the word.  “You’re, uh, painting?”

“Yeah,” Willie replied, shrugging a bare shoulder, drawing Alex’s eyes down to their bare chest once again.  “It’s been a while, and I was feeling artistic.  I’ll clean up when I’m done, though.”  Their eyebrows knit together on the last part, and Alex quickly shook his head.

“It’s fine!” he blurted, trying desperately not to stare at Willie’s chest.

“You good?” Willie asked, putting the cup of paint down and stepping closer.  “You look a little nervous, there.”  As they got closer, Alex felt the entire world slip away until it was just the two of them, Willie reaching out and putting their hands on his shoulders.

“I, er…” Alex started, finding it increasingly difficult to form words.  There was a small curl that had pulled loose from the braid near Willie’s hairline, and all he wanted to do was reach out and smooth it down, but that would involve touching Willie, and he couldn’t do that, not when Willie was smiling at him, looking like that, their thumbs gently caressing his shoulders.

“You’re adorable when you’re bluescreening,” Willie quipped, starting to run their fingers up and down Alex’s arms, dipping up under the sleeves of his t-shirt, making him shiver.  He didn’t even blink at the unfamiliar word, taking it as some modern concept he hadn’t yet been introduced to, instead focusing on the fact that Willie’s bare chest was inches from him.  “Alex, talk to me.”

“Okay, well… fuck,” Alex managed to say, his hands finally finding their place on Willie’s hips.  “You’re here, looking like that, and I… you…”

Willie giggled, his expression fond.  “You like it?  I always do my hair up like this when I’m painting.  Keeps it out of the way.”  Their fingers settled on Alex’s biceps after dislodging the paintbrush from behind their ear and dropping it to the floor.

“Oh,” Alex replied simply, his hands sliding around Willie’s hips and finding the back pockets of their pants.  “And you’re not wearing a shirt because…?”

“I feel more free this way while I’m painting,” Willie replied, nudging their nose against his.  “You should try it some time.”

“N-not wearing a shirt?” Alex asked, the temptation to close the gap and kiss them growing stronger by the second.

“Mm, that too.”  There was a cheeky note to their voice.  “I’d like that.  But I was talking about painting.”

“I, er…” Alex started, feeling Willie’s fingers on his skin.  “Yeah.  Okay.”

Willie’s lips curled.  “Awesome.  Now… when do I get to see you without a shirt?”

Alex’s brain shut down again, and Willie took that exact moment to lean in, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss, their fingers in his hair.  In turn, Alex’s hands moved of their own accord, roaming up Willie’s back, exploring the expanse of bare skin available to him.

The kiss deepened, Willie pressing closer to him.  There was something different about it; they had been mostly fleeting kisses until now.  Now, it was as though Alex couldn’t get enough of them, of their lips, of everything Willie.

“Dude, get a room!”

He pulled away abruptly, his skin flushed, his heart pounding.  Willie’s eyes were averted as they held their hand to their lips, turning away from the door to the studio.  Alex turned, shooting Reggie a look.

“Don’t look at me like that!” his friend quipped, his eyes darting between the two of them, a knowing smirk on his face.

“Get out,” Alex replied, wrapping his arms around himself.

Reggie chuckled, turning and, mercifully, leaving.

There was a period of silence during which Alex kept running through thoughts in his head, mortified at having been caught, wondering if the moment had passed and he wouldn’t get the opportunity to kiss Willie like that again.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Willie murmured, reaching out and taking his hand, leaning in and pressing their lips against his, a brief, fleeting kiss that made the world fall away and left Alex convinced that Willie was the only person in the universe.

“That was--”

“Amazing,” Willie finished, raising a hand and cupping his cheek.  “And something I definitely want to do again.”

Alex nodded.  “Yeah.  Me too.”