#Help I’m being sucked into Kung Fu Panda

[escarlatafox]

Okay now from the POV of STANNING CHARACTERS… (kfp4 spoilers)

-

So first off. My condolences to Tigress fans + people who are big fans of the Furious Five. And I mean – the Furious Five are were (?! 😭) core cast members, they’re great and fun characters, so I can absolutely understand the outrage of them just not being there AT ALL. In fact… idk their absence is weird in that it does feel less like kung fu panda without them. I take the view that what Matters is the movie being good, so if you have a movie that’s good, you can get away with certain characters* not being there if they wouldn’t serve an otherwise good plot. You can’t really say that’s the case with this movie though, because its pacing etc had much to be desired. So… yeah. You kicked them out but then the movie still wasn’t even good?? 😭And they didn’t even get a little scene they got nothing!! 😭No speaking scene I mean!

*Certain characters when I’m not completely obsessed with them (LOL). Because I, like anyone, am BIASED, my point here is that’s the “objective” take, but subjectively it absolutely sucks when your personal fave isn’t there so I really do sympathise. If shifu wasn’t in the fourth movie at all, I, too, would be extremely upset and furious. So fans of the Five have every right to be personally unhappy with their absence. For example if Shifu was absent from a Good kfp movie because he wouldn’t contribute to the Good plot, “objectively” that makes sense from a writing pov. Subjectively, I would still be personally unhappy with it.

ANYWAY. So now for analysis/discussion from a more character-focused pov/being biased in terms of my focus!

I mean, Shifu’s my fave, put him onscreen and don’t completely mess it up and there’s a good chance I’m just happy to see him again. And I was pleased to see him again. Ahah… What can I say? I’m a shifu fan… XD

Anyway. He’s SO not having a fun time dhsdjhsdsd I’m. god. Still getting my thoughts together about this. I have sorrrrt of mixed feelings/am of two worlds.

I did really enjoy his scenes. He’s actually kind of a mess honestly omggg. It kinda took me by surprise and I was actually very amused. I can’t help it he’s why I’m here LOL.

So like yes on the one hand I absolutely did accept and enjoy his scenes. On the other hand I was a bit surprised because… Well. Movies 1-3 did seem to have him on a clear trajectory of getting better and becoming more chill. He’s very Not Chill in this. You could make an argument that the whole “Oogway choosing Po as his spiritual successor” is a/the major issue that’s set back his progress in this movie, is why he’s clearly Not Fine (however much he might claim otherwise ckjdjkdsjk), etc. Because he only gets hit with that knowledge/information at the end of movie 3. The whole fact that he’s been kind of “overlooked” by Oogway (or at least, kind of skipped over technically…) and is now technically “surpassed” by Po, etc etc.

However, the above is all Watsonian analysis. From a Doylist point of view, I doooo think he has been Flanderised a bit. Feels like he’s just kind of been stuck/shoved into the box/role of grumpy “least-zen zen master” without much room to move about. It does feel like he had a lot more room/leeway before with his character/characterisation than he seems to have now…? And idk how to feel about it. Because like… I still really enjoyed his scenes in this movie, I loved it. So I don’t actually have any personal issues/complaints with it, I guess I do just feel like it can be “overdone”, if he really is thoroughly boxed-in like this. If his character has been simplified down/exaggerated… There are potential concerns with that but like, again. I loved him in this movie.

I mean I guess it just comes down to some mixed feelings on my end. Because I was getting this sense of “okay this kind of seems like… a bit overdone on the characterisation. But at the same time… I still love this characterisation” dhsdhjas? Hmmm. Still mulling over it. But I had fun! On an analytical level, I recognised that this movie had flaws, and that Shifu’s characterisation can be symptomatic of an overall downgrading of writing quality/handling of the characters in general. On the level of Being A Fan, I am a little baby being mesmerised by car keys being jangled in front of me.

It's also just kind of Funny to learn just how badly he’s doing. I thought he was Fine I really overestimated how well-adjusted he was at this point sdhsajksdakjsad god I. Mixed thoughts but I truly did love his scenes for the most part. Oughhh.

The fact that he’s now officially confirmed/clarified In Canon that he’s a red panda is hilarious. It took them four movies to do it. It’s been MANY years. But people having no clue what kind of animal he is over and over again, piggybacking off that… Man I loved it.

Hhhhhh yeah. Gonna keep mulling it over.

& I did feel catered to as a Shifu fan, by virtue of the fact that He Was There (I am the baby looking at the jangling car keys). So like, that would have affected my overall experience of the movie As A Whole in ways too! Because you can’t completely separate subjective from "objective". The movie itself could be lackluster but I could still be like “yesss Shifu” if I enjoy his individual scenes, etc. So tbh I had a great time, if only for that. I wanted to see him again and I did, LOL.

And like idk, if I fine-tooth-comb comparison his characterisation in previous installments vs this one, maybe I will come up with discrepancies or whatnot, and I guess one of my concerns is like, even if I was totally fine with how he was written in this movie, it raises concerns about how he might be portrayed in any future media, etc, so I’m just kinda wary? Idk. But tbh I had fun. That’s what matters.

[talkfastromance4]

sparks and surprises// Luke&Lily oneshot

just some family fun :)

word count: 3.2k

Luke&Lily Masterlist

Masterlist

enjoy!

***

Lily and Posy were ecstatic about the upcoming holiday and the fact that it would be at your house. With Oliver being just shy of three months old, you didn’t want to take him out again after the weekend away. You spent the week before the 4th cleaning the house and picking up food from the store. 

On Saturday, Ashton and KayKay came over to pick Posy up for her karate lessons. She’s been on a kick watching Kung Fu Panda and would walk around the house ‘karate chopping’ the couch and kicking pillows while shouting ‘HIYAA!’ Ashton suggested taking her, there’s a studio next to his yoga class, and Posy was more than thrilled to be doing karate with her uncle. KayKay went along when she could and cheered Posy on.

You and Luke would alternate every Saturday to go watch her as well so one of you was still at home with Oliver. Sometimes Lily would go but she was always at Cory and Ella’s on the weekends.

“Go have fun and listen to your teacher, okay?” you told her kissing her cheek. You made sure her pigtails were tightened enough.

“‘Kay mama.”

“Is it alright if I take her for lunch afterwards?” Ashton asks, lifting her in his arms.

“Yeah that’d be great, thank you,” Luke says with Oliver in his arms. Ashton’s face lights up at his nephew. 

“There’s the little man,” Ashton smiles, reaching forward to stroke his cheek. Oliver stretches his arms up, his little face twisting from the touch. “He’s really getting bigger.”

“Yeah, he eats like his daddy,” you chuckle and poke Luke’s dimpled cheek. 

“All right, we should get going, huh little one?” Ashton asks Posy. “See you guys later.”

“Bye daddy!” Posy waves over Ashton’s shoulder. 

“Bye Pose!” he waves with a smile and then they’re out the door. He sighs. “Big cleanup day today, lovie.”

“I know. I’ll feed Olly and change him, then we’ll be out to help in the backyard,” you say, taking your son from Luke’s arms. “Hi sweet boy, did you sleep well?”

It was pretty warm out so you made sure Oliver had on a short sleeved onesie. You covered him in a blanket with a hat on and turned the small fan clipped to his carrier as you helped Luke with the pool. You vacuumed while he got  the leaves out from the top. You checked on Oliver multiple times but he seemed pretty content in his carrier. 

“I’ll get the tiki torches and line them around the pool,” Luke huffs, tying his hair in a bun. He tugged off his white tank top that had a sweat mark on the chest and tossed it to the grass. 

Your eyebrows raise in appreciation as he turns into the shed, his butt looks really nice in his black athletic shorts. Oliver makes some noise so you go to him immediately to see if he’s all right. When you reach in to check his temperature, his little hand grasps onto your finger tightly.

“I’m right here, baby. You’re doing so good out here, yes you are,” you coo at him and kiss his forehead. You sit down in one of the patio chairs when Luke emerges with about a dozen tiki torches. 

Watching him twist the torches into the ground, his back muscles flexing and glistening with sweat in the sun and his arms tightening leaves you hot and bothered. You’re transfixed by the power he wields in each one he places around the perimeter of the pool, your eyes moving over the slope of his back and you’re left with a wanting ache for him. 

“Are you all right over there?” he asks, strutting his way to you with his tank top in his hand. He just put in the last tiki torch and you shook your head from being frazzled. 

“Yeah, you just...you look so sexy right now, that’s all,” you shrug then look down at Olly who’s fast asleep. 

“I do?” he snorts resting his tank top around his neck, he uses it like a towel to wipe at his forehead. 

“Mhm,” you sigh, eyeing him up without remorse. 

His eyebrows raise and he glances at Oliver then back at you. “Care to show me how sexy I am?”

You lay Oliver in his crib so he can continue his midmorning nap and Luke is quick to drag you into your bedroom, his lips on yours. It’s been well over six weeks since your C-Section and you were given the okay to have sex again. 

“What time is it?” Luke mumbles, kissing your neck and pushing you to the bed.

“You have somewhere else to be?” you laugh then sigh when he starts to suck in your sweet spot. 

“I’m exactly where I need to be,” he groans when you dip your hand in his shorts and start to stroke him. “Ash and Po will be coming back soon.”

“That’s right,” you sigh and plop on the bed. You gaze up at him, his blond hair slipping out from his bun and he’s breathing heavily. You wiggle your fingers between his own and pull him down on top of you. “We’ll have to be quick then.”

He smiles before kissing you, his hand tugs your shorts down and he pulls himself out of his shorts. Your kisses are frantic and just as he pulls your underwear to the side, Oliver lets out a loud wail and Petunia barks at the front door. 

You groan at the horrible timing and Luke sighs on top of you. 

“We weren’t fast enough,” you sigh, letting him situate yourself and shoves himself back in his pants. 

“We’ll have some alone time soon, lovie,” he promises with a smile. He takes your hands pulling you in a sitting position.

“Mama! Daddy!” Posy calls.

You fix your hair and make sure your pants are buttoned and zipped before exiting the room to get back to your responsibilities.

***

It’s the morning of the 4th and you’ve just changed Oliver and put his blue overalls on with a red shirt underneath. Posy is wearing a blue dress with red sandals and you and Luke are matching in a red dress and a red tank top for him. Before your party, you’re all going to the parade in town where Cory and Ella will meet you with Lily and Violetta. 

“How hot is it outside?” you ask Luke, settling Oliver in his car seat. Posy is in his arms wearing white sunglasses. 

“Not too bad right now. I’ve got extra sunscreen in the bag and water.”

“All right, let’s go!”

Cory, Ella, Violetta, and Lily are already sitting down along the curb in their chairs. Lily springs up in her own blue and white dress to give you a big hug. Her hair is pulled back in a red headband. 

“Hi honey!” You hug her the best you can with Oliver in your arms, Luke and Posy are behind you with the stroller. “You did such a good job saving our seats for us!”

“Look at my necklaces!” Lily shows you the red, white, and blue beads around her neck. 

“Wow, you have so many! Hi guys,” you smile to Cory and Ella. Cory has Violetta in her arms and she’s in a white dress with a red bow on her head. 

“Po, I have some necklaces for you!” Lily runs to her sister and takes off two of her necklaces. “Aren’t they pretty?”

“Pwetty!” Posy gasps, touching the beads lightly with her fingers. 

You sit in the chair next to Ella smiling at Violetta, she’s chewing on her teething beads. Luke immediately requests a photo of all of you with Lily and Posy standing in front, their smiles wide and beautiful. 

“You need a family photo,” Cory says and takes Luke’s phone. 

You stand next to Luke pointing Oliver to the camera and Posy wants to be in Luke’s arms. Lily stands in front and you put your hand on her shoulder, all of you smiling. 

“Beautiful,” Cory smiles. 

The parade starts and the girls are excited watching the floats and bands go by. They’re especially excited when candy is tossed to them. Oliver does a decent job being content with the loud noise until the firetrucks and ambulances come by. 

Lily scrambles into Luke’s lap and he puts on her sound cancelling headphones she’s used since she was a toddler at his shows. Her small hands still hold onto the ear pieces and she watches the trucks drive by. Posy on the other hand is watching in awe and waving to the people inside. 

“Lily and I made cupcakes yesterday that we’re going to bring over,” Ella tells you.

“Oh, that’s great. When will you be coming by?”

“After Vi’s nap, she’s been having a hard time sleeping lately. How’s our little man doing? I love his overalls, he looks like a cute old man.”

“I know right?” you laugh stroking over his nose. “He’s doing good, eating a lot and he’s at the weight he should be.”

“Mama look at all my candy!” Posy runs up to you with her candy tucked in her dress like a sack. 

“Wow! It’s just like halloween!” you smile. 

When the parade is over, Posy is starting to get fussy too because you won’t let her eat her candy because she hasn’t had lunch yet. 

“We’ll see you guys later,” Cory laughs watching you all leave. Posy is wriggling in Luke’s arms nearing meltdown mode. 

Ever since her birthday she’s been having more meltdowns and you couldn’t agree more that it’s the terrible three’s and not the two’s. She’s learning how to test her limits with you and Luke and when it doesn’t go her way, she screams and does all the dramatics. 

Posy is still whining in the car and Oliver starts to whine now too because he’s hungry. Lily is holding her ears because Oliver’s cries increase.

“We’re almost home, sweets,” Luke says and turns into the subdivision. 

You’re trying to console Oliver by letting him suck on your knuckle but he just spits it out. You hate hearing your kids be upset. Luke parks in the driveway and you both scramble to get the kids out and your belongings. Luke takes Oliver and you carry a wiggling Posy inside the house. 

“I’ll feed him and then we’ll have a quick lunch I made for them this morning,” Luke says, opening the fridge and taking out Oliver’s bottle. 

Lily runs to her room to get away from the noise and you set Posy down on the floor. She literally collapses onto the floor, her face red and wet with her tears. You settle next to her letting her get her anger out. In a moment, she’s sniffling and coughs wiping at her cheeks. 

“Are you finished?” you ask gently and she nods. “C’mere by mama.”

You help her stand up and wipe at her wet face, brushing her hair away from her forehead. 

“Deep breath,” you say inhaling and she follows, then you let it out and Posy does as well. You repeat that three more times until her breathing is back to normal. “After lunch you can have one piece of candy, okay? We can’t eat candy for lunch. How about you go pick one out and I’ll get lunch started.”

“Okay mama.”

You’re gathering the lunches Luke prepared, ham and cheese sandwiches with grapes and applesauce. Lily comes running out and asks if she can help you, she’s always such a big help to you. Posy is playing with her toys in the living room when Luke comes back downstairs. 

“Daddy look!” Posy jumps up from her spot holding up the red lollipop she chose to eat after lunch. “I picked this for after lunch!”

“You did! I think that’s a very good choice, do you want me to hold onto it until you’re done?”

“Yeah!” she hands him the lollipop and he pockets it, giving you a wink. 

Posy climbs into her chair just as you set her plate of food down. Lily takes her place and the girls start eating. 

“Is he down?” you ask Luke moving to pick up the toys Posy was playing with. 

“Yup, hopefully he’ll sleep until people start coming.”

***

Your friends arrive right on time and are more than helpful with setting the food up outside and Michael has set up his music stuff in the corner. Lily and Posy are occupied by Calum and Ashton. Posy is showing off all her candy and practicing her karate moves with Ashton while Lily is telling Calum all about the parade. 

“You had your headphones on right?” Calum asks and she nods. 

“Yeah, they are too loud.”

“Do you have them for the fireworks?”

“In my room!”

Luke and Cory are manning the grill again, you decided on having chicken for dinner. Halfway through the party you go get Oliver and Michael comes over to say hi. You ask him how he and Crystal are doing with trying for a baby and he said they’re taking a break right now. They don’t want to stress about it too much. 

When it becomes dusk, Luke lights the tiki torches and the yard is in a fantastical glow. Posy keeps asking when the fireworks will be and you tell her it will be when it’s much darker outside. 

“Hey mama,” Luke murmurs in your ear, his hands wrap around your stomach. Ashton and Michael brought out the sparklers and were helping Lily and Posy with them. He kisses your cheek. 

“Hey,” you smile leaning into him. 

“Want to try and finish what we started yesterday?” his lips move to your shoulder and his kiss makes the strap fall down. 

“Right now?” 

“I meant later when the kids are asleep but if you want to try when the fireworks are going off...they’d mask how loud you are,” he teases. 

“You don’t want to watch the fireworks?”

“You’re the only firework I need,” he squeezes you.

“If Lily and Posy are okay during the show, we can try and sneak away,” you promise and turn around in his arms. His nose and cheeks are a little red and you touch his face lightly. “You got sunburned today.”

“So did you,” he glances at your cleavage where you see a very noticeable line. “I’ll have to rub aloe on you later.”

“Mm, that sounds nice,” you mumble and lean up on your toes to give him a kiss, your fingers tangled in his hair. He tastes like perspiration, a shot of tequila and Luke, your favorite taste. You get lost in his kiss and his arms wrapped around you. “Wanna slip away now?” you whisper, pulling away before you get too carried away. 

“I hope we aren’t too late,” a familiar voice says behind Luke. 

You both look at each other before turning around to see his parents and brothers standing there. Your mouth opens in a gasp and then Lily and Posy are running to Liz shouting ‘nana!’

“Oh hello my loves!” Liz exclaims hugging them both. 

“Mum? What are you doing here?” Luke asks tugging you along.

You’re all giving hugs and kisses and there’s questions about Oliver and why they didn’t tell you they’d be coming.

“Who cares, what a great surprise!” You laugh hugging Liz again. “I’m so glad you’re here, how long are you staying? Where are you staying?” 

“We rented a house not too far from here and we’re staying for the whole Summer.”

“The whole Summer?!” Luke’s eyes widen and he hugs his parents again. 

Lily and Posy try to get their attention but Jack quickly intercedes and asks them to show him how the sparklers work. The rest of the group come and say high and you gather Oliver in your arms so Liz can get a look at him.

“This is Oliver,” you smile and there’s tears in her eyes.

“Can I?” she asks, holding her arms out. 

“Of course!” you hand him over.

“He’s just darling, and he’s so strong! You just couldn’t wait to come into the world, huh handsome boy?” Liz coos rocking him. “He looks just like Luke.”

“I think so, too,” you smile, looping your arm around Luke’s waist. There’s a firework that goes off behind you, a sign from the neighbors that their show will be starting in about ten minutes. Lily clutches to your legs, covering her ears. “It’s okay, honey, we’ll go get your headphones.”

“Already got them,” Calum grins coming out from the house with the headphones in his hands. “Do you want to watch them with me, Lils?”

“Mama can I?” she asks looking up at you.

“Of course you can, go get your blanket to lay in the grass,” you tell her. 

“Help me pick a blanket, Cal!” She takes his hand and he follows her inside. 

You’re more than happy for Liz to hold onto Oliver while the fireworks go off, Posy is close to her sitting in Ashton’s lap. She’s chattering about her karate class and what happened at Disney World and that nana should come with next time. 

“I think that’s a great idea, bug,” Luke pinches at her cheek when he returns with a beer. He points at you. “Stand up.”

“What?”

“Up, lovie,” he smiles, pulling you up himself so he can sit in your chair. You place your hands on your hips. “Okay, sit down.” he pats his thigh and you sit down on his lap happily. “This is your seat for every firework show.”

You press your lips to his balmy forehead, it smells like sunscreen and the hot summer day that was today. 

“Guess we can’t sneak away now with your family here,” you mumble.

“It’s okay. If they’re here the whole summer, I’m sure we can go away for a night just the two of us,” he pinches your hip. 

“Maybe we could do a whole weekend?” you raise your eyebrows.

“You’ll be okay leaving Olly for a weekend?”

“Apart from me and you, I trust your mom. She had three kids of her own, you know.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” he laughs and gives you a kiss. “It’s a date, we’ll set something up.”

“Your birthday’s coming up,” you trace your finger along his bearded jaw. 

“Mm, that’s the best birthday present I could ask for,” he smiles. 

The fireworks start to go off and you look in the grass where Calum and Lily are, she’s sitting in his lap gazing up at the sky. He points to the ones way up and her mouth opens at the big ones. Posy is in Ashton’s lap and her commentary makes everyone laugh. 

“That’s my favorite! I love that one! Look Unca Ash!”

“I see! These are all my favorites, too,” he comments back. 

Then you look over at Oliver in Liz’s lap, she’s kissing his head and rubbing his back talking softly to him. You turn to Luke last who is already looking at you, his face lit up from the colors bursting in the sky. 

“I’m so glad I married you,” you tell him, pecking his lips gently.

“I’m glad you married me, too,” he grins. 

You relax against him and enjoy the rest of the display. Life is good and full of love.  

Taglist: @calumance  @in-superbloom @calpalirwin @karajaynetoday @wiiildflowerrr @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @Fobodob @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower @mymindwide @itjustkindahappenedreally @seanna313 @fivesecondsofonedirection @princesslrh @prentisswrites​ @mulletcal​

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I just don’t know how to feel like I’m not broken, or how to be happy. I don’t know what I actually want and it sucks because I don’t know how to figure it out. Life would’ve been so much easier had I been normal.

Yeah, it’s definitely hard sometimes. And it’s OK for it to be hard. I think sometimes I give out advice and people it should be simple, but you’re unlearning so much cultural conditioning, that takes time and work.

Definitely I recommend following a-spec people, finding communities if you can (discord can be a good spot for that, if you’re lucky enough to live near any ace/aro meetups, if safe to do so, even better). But you’d be amazed at what a big difference it can make to be exposed to other a-spec people regularly. There are some really great allo people out there, it’s definitely not all of them, but there’s definitely a really stifling culture and some people are really rigid. And it’s really easy to just internalize it. Other a-spec people are the best counter though, and the more you get that perspective the easier it will make things for you.

Media is also great, finding characters you can relate to is huge. There’s more media all the time with a-spec characters. Personally I love the Jughead 2015 run from Archie comics.

I’d also say if you’re getting the message anywhere that you’re broken try and cut that out. This may mean putting away the romcoms where the protag can never truly be happy until they start dating someone, and pulling out something that’s more focused on found family, or family oriented in general. Movies like Pacific Rim or Kung Fu Panda for example. If people you know are really romance/sex focused, I’ve had luck finding other interests of theirs and once I have steering the conversation more there. If someone’s being really toxic, it’s OK to spend less time with them.

For what you want? There’s no easy way to find that unfortunately. It’s mostly a matter of trying things out and looking into things and see what appeals to you and what you think you’d find fulfilling. So maybe you do find connecting to people and building relationships important, and there’s a lot of different ways to do that. But also maybe you don’t. Maybe you have an interest you’d like to build on, or a skill or hobby you really love doing or want to get better at. Maybe there’s a cause out there you care about. Maybe a job. Maybe you’d enjoy volunteering for something that interests you or lets you feel helpful. Maybe you just want to a simple life where you don’t have too much stress and have time for the things you find fun. Maybe you want to travel, or watch more movies, or read more books. There’s no wrong answers here. But don’t be afraid to try things out and find a way of living your life that sounds appealing to you.

But also try and remember if the cookie cutter romantic and/or sexual relationship isn’t what appeals to you, no amount of forcing yourself is going to make it suddenly make you happy. Frankly there’s a lot of allo people who don’t find their joy there either and still force themselves into it, it’s just not what’s right for everyone and that’s OK.

Sometimes if you’re really feeling down and broken, journaling can be a good tool for working through these feelings and processing these emotions. If you have someone you’re close enough to talk about it, or a therapist who’s good with a-spec identities, that can help a lot too. Remember it’s OK to have feelings, but try and keep in mind logically that you’re not broken. That humans are just very diverse, and we live in a culture that privileges one way of being, but it doesn’t make them right.

And try and take it one day at a time. These feelings don’t go away over a night. We don’t hear something smart and inspirational and have them disappear like a switch being flipped. They tend to ease gradually, but it’s the habits you put in and making sure the input you’re getting is good that helps the most. And slowly things should get better.

All the best and good luck!

[ja-khajay]

2020-2021 Animation Watch(ed)list

I haven’t posted about animation in a while that I remember, and I know a lot of my followers are into it as much as me so I decided to make a list of the animated movies and series I watched on the past year or so, coupled with my short, spoilerless take on them. Enjoy!

Organized by

Things I saw for the first time

Things I rewatched

Under a cut for the sake of your dashboards! PS: I have not added any images yet. If you are interested in knowing more about the visuals of these movies, I might make an old fashion ask-prompted imageset list.

Part One: Things I saw for the first time

The Bear’s Famous Invasion of Sicily

Movie, 2019, Italian/French

9/10, a delightful little movie with amazing visuals. It feels like an animated picture book.

One of those “plot is in the title” media! I had never heard of this before but was heavily recommended it by my family members, who all loved it! It’s a sweet story, nothing groundbreaking but the unique colorful visual style alone makes it worth it.

The Castle of Cagliostro

Movie, 1979, Japanese

10/10. Reminded me of all the books i loved reading as a child

I assume its because it’s so old and the art style and themes are so different that it gets little to no love compared to other Ghibli movies, which is a shame! It’s fun with an endearing cast and as always, great animation and music

Mushishi

Series, 2006, Japanese

10/10 three episodes in I knew it was going to be my favorite series ever

One of the few things I’ve seen I’ll describe as life-changing. It’s absolutely lovely but never toots its own horn about it. Humble, calming, emotional and surprisingly mature. It’s pretty impossible to binge due to how intense the experience is. I just want to walk in the forest now...

FMA: Brotherhood

Series, 2009, Japanese

6/10 Dissapointing adaptation of a classic story

I read the manga for this when I was in middle school and remembered loving it. The animated version does an ok job of presenting the characters and worldbuilding and has some nice action scenes but overall looks really damn cheap and just. Not very good. Seeing I already knew most of the plot I did not have the element of discovery that made me marvel so much reading the original. It’s still a nice series but I really recommend reading it instead.

Code Lyoko (s1+2)

Series, 2003, french

3/10. 1.5 being for the opening song alone

This show sucks ass if I hadn’t been watching this with my bestie I would have dropped it two episodes in. The art style is ugly the stories are always the same and the first season has a (later removed thank fucking god) LITERAL “erase any consequences” button as a plot device in every episode. If you watch it for one thing let it be the nostalgia factor of early 00s Vidya Game Plot

The Legend of Hei

Movie, 2019, Chinese

7/10. Impressive visuals and a poor story

I finally watched this, peer pressured by the load of gifsets on my dashboard! It’s a sweet movie with really impressive animation, sometimes a bit too flashy for my taste (the action sequences go so ham they become not very readable...) but the story was just ok? The setting is barely explained and you are instead bombarded with vague epicspeech about powers and stuff that made me fondly remember Kingdom Hearts lol but that asides it’s a really good time! I need to watch more Chinese movies the few I know are just delightfully off the shits in how they approach action and I love that

Hunter x Hunter

Series, 1999, Japanese

9/10. Superior to the recent one!

I first got introduced to the series via the 2011 one. Comparatively, the 99 series focuses way less on action and way more on the characters, which I love because that fits my personal preferences! Despite mediocre filler episodes and some weird slight pointless plot changes, what it changes from the original manga doesn’t have much of an impact on the characters. The animation quality isn’t always consistent including a huge art style change for an arc (???) but it’s overall pretty nice. The series really shines in the last arc it adapts.

Oban Star-racers

Series, 2006, Japanese/french

9/10 a lovely surprise

This series is completly obscure despite having been created by people famous for their other series (Cowboy Bebop, Code Lyoko that i can name) and it’s a crime! It’s a kids show but without being stupid about it who tells the story of an inter-planetary race. If you liked that one scene in the star wars prequels you know what I mean. It’s got surprisingly nice animation for a TV series, and some truly great character design. The art style is a bit unique in a not for everyone sense, but I didn’t mind it much. It’s also THE most offensively 2000s series i’ve seen in terms of visuals. y2k kids assemble

The Little Prince and the Eight-Headed Dragon

Movie, 1963, japanese

8/10. Classic fairytale format with incredible visuals

Watched this for the art style because I know it inspired Samurai Jack, and it delievered! I dont’ have much to say about this one, it’s a very simply film but it’s sweet. For my pirates out there if you want to find it in good quality with english subtitles it’s VERY hard to find. If you just want to see the looks of it, it’s on Youtube with portugese subs.

We now enter the Gobelins Shorts Zone....!

My Friend Who Glows In The Dark

10/10 makes me cry each time

Pure delight...great animation writing everything. A little short about death and friendship but not in the way you imagine!

Colza

9/10

Visual treat...homely and nice :) not far from a 10 but a 9 because nothing about it is that groundbreaking

Sundown

9/10

If you’ve ever been ten minutes from failing a group project because of a single dude you will REALLY enjoy this. Loved the colors and personality

T’as vendu mes rollers?

10/10

It’s SUCH a sweet little short I loved that one so much

Dix-huit kilomètres trois

10/10

Surprisingly well written dialog. Visuals are great but the humanity of the characters carries this to another level

Un diable dans la poche

9/10

Amazing visuals and the most tense/creepy of Gobelin shorts i’ve ever seen. Chilling

La bestia

8/10

I had some issues with the pacing. Interesting story and visuals choices but I was not fond of the art style

Goodbye Robin

5/10

Confusing but predictable. Both at once??? Yes!

Le retour des vagues

6/10

Cool animation stuff but felt pretty pointless

                                                                ***

Part Two: Things I rewatched

Ruben Brandt: Collector

Movie, 2018, Hungarian

10/10. Underrated as hell

Watched this fully blind for the first time in an animated festival and rewatched it with friends. It’s a crime I never see anyone talking about it given the amount of whining I see about the lack of both adult animation and 2D movies? This film is a unique love letter to art in the form of a weird mix of charming crime story and psychological horror with amazing visuals. I recommend watching it blind and also buying it to show appreciation for how nice it is!!! WATCH THIS MOVIE...

Mononoke

Series, 2007, Japanese

10/10 Visual/storytelling masterpiece in the weird shit departement

If you can stomach intense stuff watch this. The visuals are incredibly unique and beautiful and under the jewel tones and art direction high takes it’s a really cool horror series. My only obstacle to enjoying it the first time I saw it was how dense it is - simply put, it’s so...culturally Japanese it’s not very accessible to me who doesn’t know anything about the culture? Watching it for the second time helped understanding the stories more! 

Corto Maltese in Siberia

Movie, 2002, french

9/10 but really close to ten. A great adaptation!

I’m a huge fan of the original comic so I entered this a biiiittttt suspicious it would suck but it was a really pleasant surprise! It has all the wonder and charm of the original and the animation was surprisingly good for the little budget. If you’re not familiar with the series, it’s a sort of geopolitical action/adventure movie but with it’s own really poetic vibe to it. It’s almost impossible to find online but happens to be fully on YouTube so go ham I guess?

Redline

Movie, 2009, Japanese

10/10 cinema was invented for this, actually

Every review of this movie i’ve seen gives it five stars and starts by talking about how immensly stupid it is. I’m no different. It’s a masterpiece of escalating energy with the depth of a puddle and it fucking rules. It’s free on YouTube too so there really is no excuse to not watch it. Watched it for the first time on a huge cinema screen and despite this my second rewatch on my small laptop was as/even more enjoyable. If you watch this stoned with friends you might travel to another dimension

Spirited Away

Movie, 2001, Japan

10/10 deserves the love it gets

I watched this a single time as a kid and had little memory of it! I mean it’s Ghibli you know it’s going to be good as hell but this one rly shines in how colorful and detailed it is and in it’s world! It made me remember I had a huge crush on the dragonboy as a kid. I’m gay now

Kung-fu Panda (1&2)

Movie, Usa

10/10. KFP fucking rules

Honestly my favorite franchise of the whole disney/dreamworks/pixar hydra. It’s fun as hell, doesn’t skip a single beat and has amazing animation and character designs. If something is a good time I will not care if it’s deep or not and boy I fucking love these movies

Sinbad, Legend of the Seven Seas

Movie, 2003, Usa

5/10 Some great some really bad and overall generic

I tend to hate american cinema and this includes that era of animation I have no nostalgia for. Sinbad is in a weird place because I love adventure stories and the visuals of the movie absolutely deliver but it’s very predictable and TANKED by the addition of the female character, pushed in your face as “look we have woman!!!” despite her writing being misogynistic as hell lol. The evil goddess rules tho. This movie would have been a solid 9 if instead of the girl the two dudes had kissed

[heungtanbts]

Quarter Life Crisis

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre/warning: slow burn friends to lovers!au, friend zoning, being dense AF, swearing & sarcastic bantering, a smidge of angst, explicit implications of smut

word count: 25k 

A/N: guys. i’ve never written something this long and in depth before and i honestly don’t know how to feel about it. but i do know i have a newfound respect for fic writers. i poured so much time and effort into this, and can only imagine what other writers go through so please remember to show your fave writers love for all their hard work! 

In the movies, the recently graduated, mid-twenties protagonist sets off on the journey of life and seems to immediately land a fantastic job, find a stellar unit in an even more luxurious apartment complex, gets a fancy car with a name that’s impossible to pronounce, is in a long term relationship from college and is going to receive a proposal within the next few months (but doesn’t know it yet), and basically, has life all figured out. If movies are going to portray young adult life like that, then that’s ideally what your twenties should be like, right? Being young, educated, ready to take on the world, further discovering yourself and finding true love.

This, however, is not what you imagined your mid-twenties to be like.

Sitting in a comfy pair of capri leggings and an oversized college t-shirt, you sink into your sofa and suck in a labored breath. You really shouldn’t have finished that last bit of Shanghai fried noodles. T’was a mistake, a horrible mistake. Rolling down the waistband of your leggings, your belly pops out, set free, and you finally feel like you can breathe again.

“Wow, you’re really packin’ heat there, huh Pillsbury?” A low voice calls mockingly from across the room.

“Shut up, I’m proud of my life achievements okay.” You immediately retaliate, not even bothering to look at the other potato potato-ing at the opposite end of the sofa.

You hear him snort incredulously. “Ah yes, because ‘he who achieves the pudge, achieves in life.’ Definitely heard Yoda say that one somewhere.”

Letting your head lull to the side, you can’t stop yourself from snickering at the sight of Jungkook sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce, hands held up in OK signs, eyes shut and head bobbing from side to side ridiculously in what you deem to be an extremely inaccurate impersonation of Yoda. Why you continue to hang out with this dweeb and allow him to put his nasty feet up on your coffee table right after hitting the gym for two hours is beyond you. Must be because it’s Friday night, affectionately known as Fat Friday, and he’s always the one who brings take out, like it’s a peace offering of some sort. That’s why.

At this age you would’ve never imagined that life would consist of a weekly Fat Friday “take out and a movie” routine with your best friend from college. As a young adult, you know you’re fortunate to have a stable 8-5 job that you don’t hate, a clean and cozy apartment unit in the city (with in unit laundry machines, bless up) and a small group of friends that stand by you through thick and thin. But after spending so many days and years like this, you can’t help but question it all.

According to those damn rom-coms, you should be out going on adventures, mingling with new people, sipping on over-priced drinks, showing up to the club with your posse and, maybe if you’re lucky, waltzing out with a newly acquired friend for the night. But here you are instead, having a chopsticks war with Jungkook over the last crab rangoon Kung-fu Panda style, even though you’re so full, the delicious fried appetizer might just have to sit in your throat for a while until your digestive system can make room for it. Living in your twenties is wild, just absolutely wild.

“God, please don’t tell me you do this when you go on dates.” Jungkook looks at you in both disgust and awe as you pop the last crab rangoon in your mouth, chewing noisily on purpose to rub it in his face while simultaneously enjoying the crunch.

“What, eat?” A speck of crab escapes and lands on your chin. Now Jungkook definitely looks more grossed out than amazed as he reaches out to thumb at your chin, removing the bit of artificial seafood and making a face as he wipes it on a nearby napkin.

“No, this isn’t eating. This is straight up a clip from the Discovery Channel about predators swallowing their prey.” He deadpans. “It’s like you’re training to be a food fighter, or something.”

You suddenly look up, eyes beaming with enlightenment, “That’s it, a food fighter, of course! That’s what I should be pursuing in life! Jeon, for once, you and your one brain cell have managed to come up with a brilliant idea.”

Jungkook doesn’t even seem phased by your insult and just moves to make himself comfortable, kicking his feet up on the coffee table as per usual. “You know, I actually think you could do it. With the way you eat- no, inhale food, you could show the world your one and only talent – gluttony.” He grins victoriously only to have to whip his neck from side to side in order to avoid the used chopsticks you spear at him, the wooden sticks clattering onto the linoleum floor. You scowl openly from having missed, settling back onto the sofa with your arms crossed over your chest.

“I could start my own muk-bang stream.” You think aloud, seriously considering the occupation for a moment. “Look cute, eat ten packets of ramen, answer questions about my life from the millions of die-hard fans watching – I could totally live that life.”

Jungkook chuckles at the mental imagery he gets, “Yeah, and then majestically throw up for your two whole precious fans to witness. Real cute.” His lip quirks upwards, “Those two poor fans, scarred for life, never able to heal from the trauma.”

You glare at him. “Just wait until my boyfriend hears of this, he won’t stand for this kind of abuse you give me. Is this even friendship? Where’s the love? The support?” You clutch at your chest dramatically, “Where’s the camaraderie, best friend? Where’s the-” You’re so rudely cut off by a pillow to the face, thrown by none other than your so-called best friend.

“Puh-lease, Park SeoJoon is way out of your league. I said it. Sniff sniff, cry cry, get over it, babe.”

You frown, shaking a closed fist at him. “One day, Jeon, you’ll see. One day.” With a defeated sigh, you flop onto your back and throw your feet up onto Jungkook’s lap, ignoring the “ugh your feet smell” comment he makes and instead, focusing on the dreary white ceiling of your unit.

The both of you know it’s just harmless joking when you refer to Park SeoJoon as your boyfriend and whenever Jungkook makes fun of your eating habits and pudgy food babies. To strangers, the way you two interact may seem a bit harsh and pretty immature, but for the two of you, the playful insults and level of savagery are just right. It’s a relief that you can bicker and banter with him and know there are no hard feelings, that you two know each other well enough to know where the lines that should not be crossed are. But it hasn’t always been this way.

When you first met Jungkook freshman year of college, he was ridiculously shy, probably one of the most soft spoken and just plain awkward people you’d ever met. So much so that, being the decent, civilized human being you were, you felt completely obligated to be nice back, mostly because you were afraid he might cry if you accidentally looked him in the eye or something. He seemed so delicate, perpetually wide eyed and fearful, and for that reason, you felt a little more distant from him and closer with the other guys. You were able to freely throw around insults and make all the snarky jabs you wanted around them. Jungkook was just too quiet, and thus you were too nice to him. That is, until one day, your mutual friend Taehyung proposed the idea of having a Mario Kart tournament out of boredom, and somehow it ended up being just you and Jungkook in the final race. Spoiler alert – you beat Jungkook. Blue shelled him right at the finish line and cackled like a disney villain as you cut right in front and took first place. You’ll never forget that moment – it was the first time he ever swore at you. Actually, that was the first time you ever heard Jungkook swear period – ears red at the tips, cheating accusations and demands for a rematch flying around chaotically. But ever since then, that weird wall between you two came crashing down, and that is how your beautiful meme of a friendship came to be.

In the comfortable silence, some random Marvel movie on in the background, you glance over at your best friend, lips involuntarily curling up into a smile. You’re more than glad that those walls came down that day, that you were able to spend majority of your college days attached at the hip, that now, as annoying as he may be, Jungkook is still by your side to this day, eating greasy take-out with you and spending what should be a lively night out, at home instead, vegging out and pigging out. A very nice Friday evening in, with a blubbery food baby. And Park SeoJoon as your imaginary boyfriend. You suddenly groan at the thought and shove your face into the pillow Jungkook just threw at you. It’s been approximately three years since your last relationship, but for some reason it feels like it’s been so much longer than that. That relationship with your then college boyfriend ended shortly after graduation and you can’t believe that was truly the last time you dated someone. You remember spending two weeks ruining Jungkook’s shirts one by one with your snot and tears while hugging tubs of melting ice cream to your chest. Three. Whole. Years. Ago.

You let out another groan and it’s louder this time, even with the pillow muffling your mouth. You’re unable to control your train of thought as it travels to a more stressful place, ruining your once zen state of mind on this lovely Fat Friday evening. What are you even doing with your life? Or to put more accurately, what are you doing wrong with your life? Are you doing something wrong? It just feels like at this point, you should you be doing something more, chasing after your goals and dreams, or at least have some more adult characteristics to your life. While it’s very true that you already have so much to be thankful for, for some reason it just feels like you’re doing something wrong – or something’s just missing. Everyone else seems to have it all together, so why do you still feel like you’re ten steps behind?

You must’ve groaned a couple times more without even realizing it because moments later, the pillow is abruptly snatched away from your face, revealing a very puzzled Jungkook.

“What are you moaning and groaning about?” He asks, raising a brow before giving you a look of utter disbelief. “Is it because of what I said about Park SeoJoon? Woman, for the last time, you just gotta accept the fact that it’s not gonna happen and move on with your li-”

“Jungkook,” You interject, voice quieter than normal. “Am- am I just doing this all wrong?”  

Jungkook abruptly comes to a halt, his mouth still hanging open silently from when you cut him off. A slew of jokes and insults remains lodged in his throat as his chocolate eyes closely study your face. You can tell he’s internally debating on how seriously he should be taking your words. Like is this a “reply with another joke” kind of situation, or a “sit down, tell me what’s wrong” kind of conversation that’s about to happen? It feels like this is always how conversations are between the two of you, they can switch from childish insults to pondering the meaning of life in the blink of an eye. Luckily, Jungkook’s used to it by now – having sudden and unexpectedly deep conversations with you doesn’t terrify him anymore like it used to in the past.  

“What do you mean by that?” Jungkook inquires, deciding it’d be best to tread carefully. He uncrosses his legs and places his feet on the floor, elbows resting on his knees in a much more serious posture.

Over time, he’s gotten so good at feeling you out and directing the conversation as needed, even though he used to have internal melt downs every time you would open up to him. He’s gotten so much better at having conversations period – he handles them like champ now.

“What are we doing Jeon?” The words come out as a deflated sigh, an accurate description of how you feel at the moment. “It’s Friday night and while people our age are spending way too much money getting drunk and having fun taking over the city, we’re upholding a Friday tradition that consists of eating pure oil and poking at our food babies.” Jungkook immediately glances down at his own stomach before meeting your eyes again.

“Uh, I don’t have a food baby so you’re kind of alone on that one.” Jungkook corrects you, rubbing his hand up and down against his flat stomach. You shoot him the deadliest glare you can conjure up. It’s not your fault your body was made to cling to blubber in order to have babies and produce life in this world.

“What, you wanna just go out then?” Jungkook suggests, ignoring the daggers you send his way. “We always have the option to go out and get drunk, you know. If that’s what you wanna do, let’s just call some people up and go then.” Giving the glare a rest, you shake your head, arms and legs splayed out like a starfish as you stare up at nothing, another sigh heavy on your chest.

“That’s not it, Jeon. I just- ugh, I don’t know.” You twist around and smack your fists and feet against the sofa cushion, like a child throwing a mini tantrum. “All I know is that I’m young, I’m single, with all the time in the world and yet here I am, living life like a retired grandma.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with being a retired grandma? That’s like the ultimate goal in life.” Jungkook tuts, leaning forward to grab his bazillionth fried egg roll of the night. That boy is an intergalactic blackhole when it comes to food, yet he never has a food baby, damn damn damn.

“When I was 18, I remember wanting to hurry up and grow up and be in my twenties already.” You reminisce, still focusing on the popcorn pattern decorating the ceiling, “I figured by the time I was 26, I’d have discovered my true passions while exploring my twenties, that I’d be married, settled down after having fully lived out my younger years, maybe on the way with a little one or two, I don’t know.” You bemoan. “I guess adulthood just isn’t what I expected it to be.”

“So what you’re saying is you want to get pregnant.” Jungkook’s smiles mischievously as he leans towards you, flashing you a wink, “That can be easily arranged.”

“Pervert,” You jokingly shove him away, and he just chuckles. “You know that’s not what I meant. Plus I’m not ready to have kids, could you even imagine it?” Your eyes widen comically in horror, “I can barely take care of myself – God knows if I’d be able to keep a tiny, fragile human being alive.” 

“True, those succulents you got for your birthday last year barely lasted two weeks,” Jungkook raises his cup to his lips, coughing under his breath before taking a sip, “even though they’re like the easiest plants to raise.”

“Please, rub more salt on my wound Jeon, I insist!”

Jungkook gives you a satisfied smirk before his demeanor morphs into something more serious, fingers rubbing at his chin thoughtfully. “I mean, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong,” He muses, eyes flicking upwards to meet yours as he gives you one of his gentle, heartwarming smiles – the rare kind that comes out when he’s done joking and ready to comfort you.

“Think about it, you’ve pretty much met majority of the societal standards there are for being a young adult in this day and age. You’re educated, you have a job with a steady pay, got your own place, and you lead a pretty stable lifestyle.” He absentmindedly plays with the cup in his hands. “But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with still not knowing exactly what it is you want to do, or what next steps you want to take. Like so what if you’re single, lots of people are.” Jungkook shrugs. “Who even says that has to be the next step you take? I think it’s still okay that you are,” he looks down at his hands, expression soft, “that we are, still trying to figure things out, one day at a time, you know?”

You hum in agreement, Jungkook’s words bringing immediate comfort to your restless mind. He’s right. It’s not like you’ve made any grave mistakes or have some monumental life-or death issue to face. It’s not a sin to just do your own thing and not follow the “standard” steps of life people usually take. It’s just that the concept of it all, the topic itself, makes you feel like a baby – a very lost, disappointed, overgrown cry-baby because you don’t really feel put together or like you know what you’re doing. But like Jungkook said, that’s okay. It’s alright that you’re still trying to figure it all out, at your own pace – you’re slowly creating your own path.

“Since when did you get so wise, huh Jeon?” You smile, spirits lifted and already feeling a lot better than just a few minutes ago. Jungkook just always seems to know what to say to make you feel better.

He just shrugs with a jokingly cocky pout of his lips, “I’m the quarter life crisis guru, come to me with all your first world problems and you shall find enlightenment.” His words automatically make you punch him in the arm lightly and all you can afford is a weak insult muttered under your breath with a small smile on your lips.

If you were to have this conversation with anyone else besides Jungkook, you would probably die before admitting such embarrassingly trivial, quarter-life-crisis complaints. It hurts your pride, being an adult and having to admit you don’t really know what you’re doing with life. But because this is Jungkook, the insecurities of your heart come out so easily. No matter how much you joke around or annoy each other, he’s your closest and most trusted confidant. He’s actually a great listener – so honest yet gentle with his words (when he’s being serious, of course), and with him, figuring out life’s problems isn’t as daunting of a task. With him, conversations flow, anxiety is immediately blanketed over with a comforting peace, solutions are developed more smoothly, plans get put into action more proactively. He may still be salty every time he sees a blue shell and still gives you hell for it to this day, but if he was really that annoyed by you, he wouldn’t be sitting on your couch, listening to you complain and trying to help you figure out your life. That’s Jungkook for you – good old reliable Jungkook.

“Did someone say quarter life crisis?” You both whip your heads toward the door at the familiar voice that suddenly calls out of nowhere. “If it’s ___ we’re talking about, then she just needs to get laid. Problem solved.” That same voice lets out a yelp when a bunny slipper comes flying at his head.

“We have intruders.” You mutter as you look down at your one bare foot, the moment completely ruined. “I knew I shouldn’t have given you guys a spare key.”

“But you did, and it comes in handy in times like these.” Another voice, lighter and higher pitched than the first, pipes up. You allow your eyes to close, as if trying to take in the last bits of comfort from your conversation with Jungkook as jackets and bags are rustled around, the sound of footsteps growing louder and closer to you.

“How long have you guys been standing there?” Jungkook questions the newly arrived guests.

“Long enough to know that ___ needs to get some.” The first voice replies teasingly. Eyes still closed, the couch quickly sinks down next you, and an arm is thrown around your shoulders, “So, the well’s a bit dry this season, huh?”

“Oh my god shut up, Tae.”

“It’s drought season and the crops are in need of a good ol’ watering, ayy?”

“I’m seriously going to punch your face in.”

“Moses parted the Red Sea and then just left it parted, huh? Tsk tsk, the cruel man.”

Back in college, once those barriers between you and Jungkook came down, they seemed to come down with everyone else as well. As you and the others really started to get to know Jungkook, you quickly learned that he was the complete opposite of how he initially presented himself. He wasn’t shy at all, or timid in the least – the boy loved to joke around and once he was comfortable, would shoot playful insults left and right and make all the sassy comments just as much as you did, if not more. Because of that, he could be a real pain, since he seemed to thrive off of messing with you and seeing your reactions. But if you thought Jungkook was a pain in the ass, then Taehyung proved himself to be a real thirty-six-foot flagpole up your ass. No one ever guessed that timid little Jungkook would click so well with Taehyung and that together as a team of evil, they would cause you so much misery. It was to the point that everyone knew better than to leave the three of you alone together for longer than five minutes – for the sake of world peace. Though after growing up a little and leaving college, Taehyung stopped mucking around as much, and he seemed to calm down even more once he and Hari got together. But the little shit-head spirit still lives on inside of him to this day – it’s a light that no one can snuff out. Bless Hari’s heart for continuing to keep tight reins on him and love his sorry ass.

Before you can show him the fullness of your wrath, Taehyung gives you a shit-eating grin and quickly bounces over to the other section of the couch where his girlfriend, aka your closest gal pal and college roommate Hari has taken a seat, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

“She’s being awfully scary today, what’d you do Kook?”

Jungkook lets out an offended huff, and he’s right back to his normal, sarcastic self. “The hell did I do, I brought her highness take out on my way back from the gym and we’re watching her favorite Iron Man again for the umpteenth time.” He crosses his arms over his chest, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” 

“You love Iron Man as much as I do, bitch. Don’t even try me with that shit.”

“See? Major case of the grumps.”

Hari peels Taehyung’s arms off and gives him a scolding look when he whines before making her way to your side. She places a comforting hand on your back, peering down at your distraught face. “You alright, ­___? What’s up?”

“Ugh, it’s nothing, really.” You hide your face in your hands, “It’s literally not a big deal, I’m just a little irked, I guess.” Though it hurts your pride, you decide to be a little more honest, since they’ve already heard bits of your conversation with Jungkook. “Just debating whether I’m living my 26-year-old life right or not, that’s all.”

Hari raises her eyebrows, as if she can’t believe what her ears are hearing. “You’ve got a grown ass man who brings you take out all the time and willingly gives you free reign over his Netflix account. Looks to me you’re living the life, bub.”

“I think that was supposed to make me feel appreciated, but it just made me sound whipped as hell.”

Hari waves a hand dismissively at Jungkook, who scowls and starts reconsidering his life choices. “So what, you wanna go out and do something then? Something to make you feel better? Or in general, how can we,” She gestures to the three of them in a circular motion, “help convince you that you’re doing life just fine?”

“I’m telling ya, she just needs to get boned.” Taehyung mumbles while happily chewing on a fortune cookie. “See, even my fortune cookie agrees with me – thou must get the D in order to succeed.” You abruptly stand to your feet, turning to him with poisonous daggers shooting from your eyes.

“That’s it, get your punk ass over here, you little-“

“A boyfriend!” Hari suddenly clasps her hands together, an imaginary light bulb flickering over her head, “___ needs more than just a one-night stand, babe – we need to get her a mans.” You halt in your forward lunge towards Taehyung, who’s curled up in fetal position with his hands covering his head, and turn to her, your eyebrows knitting together in disbelief.

“You really think getting a boyfriend’s going to make me feel better?”

She nods eagerly, looking utterly convinced. “Let’s consider the facts for a moment, shall we? You’ve been out of school and working for a couple of years now, you’ve got this pad in the city all to yourself and nothing to do but eat junk and re-watch old superhero movies,” Your mouth falls open to protest, but Hari puts a finger to your lips, shushing you effectively. “And you’re having all these quarter-life-crisis symptoms. Maybe the issue is that it’s time for you to move on to the next chapter of your life, which in this case could be—”

“—finding a bae.” Taehyung finishes for her, his eyes wide as saucers as he uncurls from his fetal position to sit up on the couch. “Makes sense to me! HyukJae was what, three years ago? And you’ve been single ever since. Now that you’re an established, independent woman, there’s nothing holding you back from finding someone to do life with.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.  

There’s a beat of silence, but you wonder if the others can hear the gears turning in your head as you contemplate this proposal. It literally goes against everything Jungkook just said, finding a boyfriend just because it’s the proper “next step” you should be taking. Plus it’s not like you need a man to make your life complete – you’re already happily successful in sustaining yourself and your relationships with what you’ve got right now. But, you have to admit, a special someone could help spice things up a little, make life a little more fun and a little less drab. Maybe this person could help push you out of your comfort zone to go explore the city, find some new hobbies, get out of the apartment and try something new period. Maybe this significant other could help pave this new path for you and your life, because if lazy people were an army, then you would be the head chief in command, so God knows you need the help. So maybe, maybe you just need a little outside push to get you going.

The more you think about it, the more convinced you are that it’s at least worth a shot, and the determination slowly begins to grow inside of you. You know what Jungkook said but you figure taking this step is better than doing nothing at all. You suddenly stand up and pump your fist in the air like it’s a declaration of war, and you end up startling the others with your abrupt actions.

“Okay, let’s do it.” You announce, finding a new sense of motivation within you. “Let’s go and find me a mans! HUZZAH!”

Hari jumps up and squeals, immediately grabbing your phone off the coffee table and gushing about helping you make a dating profile and about which apps would be best for you to use. In the midst of all the commotion, Jungkook remains silent, his eyes trained on the floor, expression hard to read. But the excitement is too dizzying for you to notice. You just can’t help but have a good feeling about this next step in your life.

- - - - - 

“Okay, bread, check. Rice… check. Veggies, strawberries, bananas, check check check.”

“Don’t forget my Lucky Charms.”

Looking up from your phone, you cock your head at the man with the messy wavy hair casually leaning on the shopping cart rail, a look of disbelief painted on your face. “I still don’t get why I have to include your favorite cereal on my grocery list, Jeon.” Jungkook makes a funny face at you, one that makes him look dramatically offended, the cart coming to an abrupt stop.

“Um, first of all, Lucky Charms should be everyone’s favorite cereal, including yours. And second, I need to keep a box at your place for when we do delivery ‘cause I need something to eat right after working out or else I feel like I’m gonna die – literally.”

You roll your eyes and ignore the way Jungkook shoots a grin your way as he continues to push the cart. “You’re a grown ass man who makes his own money, get your own sugary cereal.”

“Do you want your best friend to starve to death? Is that the kind of love we’ve got here?”

“And you call me dramatic.”

Pausing at the cereal section, you internally groan after seeing that some jerk just had to put all the boxes of Lucky Charms up on the top shelf. You need to have a word with the grocery store manager about discriminating so openly against short people like this.

“So speaking of bananas, how’s the dating app thing going?” Jungkook asks casually, whistling along to the song they’re playing at the store. This time you groan externally, lowering your head down to rest it on the other available half of the shopping cart handle.

“You did not just use bananas as a segway into this conversation.”

Jungkook hums in indifference, pushing the cart along and smiling to himself when you continue to walk with him, still face down and leaning on the shopping cart. He suddenly comes to a stop which results in you hitting your head against the metal bars where infants are supposed to sit, and you mutter a curse at him, rubbing the sore spot as you meet his eyes with a glare. He just arches a brow innocently and points up at the shelf, looking all too smug for your liking. “Found the Lucky Charms.”

You let out a huff before nudging Jungkook out of the way. “I mean, it’s only been three days, but it’s going alright, I guess.” You inform him, making your way towards the shelves. “I’ve only talked to like two guys so far, but honestly it’s just, kinda weird? I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel natural at all, so that’s been rough.”

It’s only been a few days since your little eureka moment about seizing the day and giving your adult life a re-vamping. It’s been strange, having small talk conversation with potential dates with only having a few pictures and some witty captions and quotes on their “About Me” pages to go off of. Technology has certainly reinvented the way people date nowadays, but you can’t help but miss meeting people naturally through mutual friends or at a social event or something. Nevertheless, Hari’s been harping on you every day about any new matches you’ve made and keeping close tabs on your conversations with your matches, but it surprises you that Jungkook’s suddenly taking interest in this whole spiel. He’s seemed so uninterested in this from the start, which was a bit disappointing if you’re being honest. You had hoped you’d be able to talk to him more about it and get his opinions on your matches and who seemed good and who seemed like a left-swipe, only to get less than enthusiastic input from him. So for him to suddenly bring it up on his own volition is certainly an unexpected surprise.

“Mmm, I see.” You don’t even notice the way Jungkook’s voice dumbs down a notch from behind, too busy staring up at the colorful rainbow box above your head as determination settles in your stomach. If you just believe in yourself, you can do it – you will reach that goddamn box of cereal for your goddamned best friend and his childish taste palate, even if it kills you. This isn’t for Jungkook – this is for all the other shorties in the world.

You make your first attempt to reach the cereal. You’re up on your toes and then come straight back down, your fingers not even coming close to reaching the stupid box when Jungkook finally speaks up again. “What- what do you even look for in a guy, anyways?”

You pause for a moment, stopping yourself from jumping up for your second attempt to turn and face Jungkook. Even though the two of you are best friends, you realize you don’t really talk about this kind of stuff with him. Hari is always your go-to friend for these types of conversations, and it dawns on you that not only does Jungkook not know what your ideal type is, but you also have no idea what his is either. You’re surprised to discover something you don’t know about your best friend.

“Well, for starters, I’d appreciate it if he wasn’t a serial killer.” You muse, tapping your index finger on your chin thoughtfully. “I also feel like I like guys who are tall, have nice hair, who keep themselves fit and know how to dress well. You know, a guy who knows how to be a basic human being.”

“Oh, so basically me.” Jungkook quips, “I’m flattered, babe, really. Didn’t know you were so into this.” He sticks his tongue out when you smack his arm in response.

“Someone who wears anything besides hoodies and basketball shorts.” You emphasize jokingly, sticking your tongue out right back at him.

Jungkook raises his brows. “So wearing nothing? I could dig the nudist life, sounds chill.”

You snort, “Please, Jeon, spare us all.” Turning back to the shelves, you continue to think aloud. “I don’t know, I just want someone who’s easy to talk to, like a friend, someone who likes to joke around, but can be serious when needed. Someone who’s passionate about his ambitions in life and is a real go-getter, unlike myself. Someone who will be romantic and loyal – not like all the cheese you see in the movies, but in his own special way. You know,” you shrug, coming up onto your toes as you take another unsuccessful swipe at the box of cereal, your fingertips grazing the edge of it, “someone who will just love me right, I guess.” With a little hop, you accidentally push the cereal box an inch backwards and it pulls a frustrated noise out of you. But you are determined to stay here all night if it means you’ll be able to get this cereal box down yourself. Fucking Jungkook and his cereal needs. 

“What about you, Jeon?” You grunt out, this time reaching up with your other arm, as if it’ll make a difference. “What’s your type?” A rush of excitement comes over you when you manage to sneak the box back to its original spot, and now you can almost get two fingers around it.

“I…don’t really know.” You hear Jungkook say softly behind you, but you’re too zoned in on those damn Lucky Charms to notice the change in his demeanor. “I agree with a lot of the traits you named off, I guess.”

“What, you want someone tall, athletic, and well-dressed too?” You can most definitely hear Jungkook roll his eyes at that comment, and it makes you smile, even as you continue to struggle to make contact with the flimsy cardboard box, muttering incoherent complaints under your breath.

“I mean if he isn’t Park SeoJoon, then I’m not interested.”

Still facing the shelves, you can’t help but laugh at his mocking tone, even though you know he’s mimicking you. “Okay seriously though, I just realized I don’t know really this stuff about you. And come to think of it, I haven’t seen you date someone in like years.”

There’s a short pause in the conversation when suddenly you feel something warm press up against your back, and it startles you. You crane your neck upwards at a diagonal to see what it is and nearly let out a yelp. Jungkook’s face is merely inches away from yours, his eyes fixed on the box of Lucky Charms above. The scent of light soap and clean laundry detergent mixed with something slightly musky overwhelms your senses as he leans forward and presses himself against your back even more, the sensation causing a breath to become lodged in your throat. Without even having to rise onto his toes, he easily grabs the dumb box of Lucky Charms, finally ending your misery in more ways than just one, and before your body can even experience a full-on proper reaction, he’s already moving, a sudden chill replacing the warmth on your back as he moves to toss the cereal into the cart.

“Yeah, last time I dated was Ji Soo my sophomore year. Damn, that was a long time ago.” Jungkook recalls, leaning on the cart and continuing to push it down the aisle, not having any clue what he just did. He has no clue that your heart is suddenly thumping wildly in your chest, and that a heat is starting to spread across your cheeks, and you have to physically pinch yourself to snap out of it before Jungkook can notice something’s off.

Whenever Jungkook is physical with you, it’s almost always tied in with a joke or is just a part of the platonic comfort you two share with one another. Ruffling your hair, having his head or feet in your lap, pinching his cheeks – none of that is out of the ordinary. But feeling his back against you, his body so close and radiating heat onto your skin, breath puffing over your cheeks – this is all uncharted territory for you. And as his best friend, you’re not quite sure how to process the physiological effects you’re experiencing from it. You’re still in a bit of a daze, and you end up trailing a few steps behind him, close enough to keep up with the conversation but far enough to allow your body calm down. It’s sad how worked up you got just from your male best friend pressing himself up against you so suddenly. Maybe Taehyung is right and you’re just in desperate need for some physical intimacy or something.

“Ground ginger’s next on the list.” You mumble timidly, following Jungkook as he rounds the corner and into the next aisle. “B-but yeah, Ji Soo – feels like that whole month-long shebang happened eons ago.” You almost curse out loud when you see rows on rows of all kinds of spices littering the bottom shelves, and the one spice you need up on the damn top shelf once again. Starting next week, you will wear heels to the grocery store. Or stilts – whatever it takes.

“Yeah,” Jungkook chuckles to himself, “I still can’t believe she liked me so much that I just decided to go with it. Young dumb Jungkook definitely learned early on that that’s not how relationships work.”

“Cocky bastard.” You scoff, shaking your head. But he just shrugs, as if to say “it is what it is.”

“So how come you haven’t dated anyone since then?” You inquire, hoping Jungkook hasn’t noticed where the ground ginger is located because this time, you are hell bent on just snatching it up and calling it good already. You’ve had enough strange, foreign bodily reactions for the day.

“I…I don’t know.” Jungkook admits as you sneakily side step towards the shelf, standing up on your tiptoes while he’s busy staring off into the distance. His expression is reflective, and almost a little solemn as well. He really seems to be contemplating and taking this whole conversation quite seriously, even though it wasn’t intended to be that way. Maybe he still misses Ji Soo or something, the poor boy.

“I guess… I’ve just been waiting for the right person to come along.” Jungkook finally states after another few moments of silence, which you unceremoniously break after landing on your feet too loudly in a sad attempt to quietly jump and grab the bottle of ginger, which obviously didn’t happen quietly or at all, period.

A long list of all the expletives you know in multiple languages runs through your mind as you feel the warm plane of Jungkook’s chest press against your shoulder blades again. This time his fingers brush against yours along the way, and it almost feels like he lingers there for a second, but it’s probably just your imagination because before you know it, he’s already backing away and tossing the ground ginger into the cart, just like before. You really must be on something today – your raging hormones and galloping heart need to get their shit together and calm down already.

“I-I’m sure you’ll find her soon, one day.” You manage to stutter out, an awkward smile on your lips, “Someone who will accept you, even though you have the taste buds of a five-year-old.” You joke in hopes of lightening the mood that has somehow changed drastically in the last few minutes. Whether it’s because of how pensive Jungkook’s suddenly become or because of your inability to control your bodily functions at the moment, the air definitely feels different compared to five minutes ago, and it’s not very comfortable – at all. Fortunately, the joke seems to do the trick because a smile slowly spreads across Jungkook’s face, and all the seriousness and weird angst seems to vanish almost immediately.  

“Least I don’t still dip my oreos in my milk when I eat them. Heck, I don’t even eat oreos anymore.” Jungkook scoffs teasingly, eyeing the blue package of cookies in the cart, “Seriously what are you, a child?”

“See? You’ve got such shit taste buds, Jeon.” You shake your head pitifully at him. “Just watch, you’re gonna end up dating a huge foodie or a professional food blogger who will properly roast you for having such awful taste, and I’d pay just to watch it all go down.” The imagery itself makes you laugh, and you take advantage of the newly livened mood to snag the cart from Jungkook and head towards the cash registers. “Let me know if you’re ever interested and I’ll help you hunt one down, yeah?”

You pause to flash a cheeky grin towards Jungkook, and the way he chuckles in disbelief is satisfying enough of a reaction for you to turn back around and make your way towards the self-check out area. But you miss the way Jungkook’s laughter quickly dwindles, transitioning into a soft sigh as he watches your figure walk farther and farther away.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely let you know, someday.”

- - - - - 

“Welp, that’s number six in the books. Check. Done-zo. Fin. Es todo. Hip hop’s dead, y’all – it’s dead!”

“Uh, I take it the date went well?” Jungkook peeks his head out from the kitchen, a spoon hanging from his mouth and a jar of peanut butter in his hand (the super smooth, liquidy kind, like the weirdo he is. Who eats anything but chunky?) as you trudge your way inside his shared apartment with Yoongi and Namjoon, your old college friends who are also part of the same producer team as Jungkook, and throw yourself onto the sofa face first. You grumble something inaudibly into the cushion, but Jungkook doesn’t need to ask to know you’re probably saying some not so positive words under your breath. He holds his snack to his chest and walks over to lift your feet up, placing them on his lap and making himself comfortable.

“So, what went wrong this time?”

“He wath jmmf brrrurng.”

“Sorry, I don’t speak cave man.”

You lift your head up from the sofa and crane your neck back to glare at Jungkook, long messy curls covering half of your face and killing your intimidating factor. “I said, he was just boring.”

Jungkook makes a noise of understanding, unscrewing the lid and digging his spoon into the jar. He brings the rich cream to his mouth, smacking his lips with an obnoxious pop. “I mean, at least he wasn’t a creepy 58-year-old who lied about everything in his dating profile. Compared to that, ‘boring’ doesn’t sound half as bad.”

Giving up, you re-smush your face back into the couch cushion, mumbling some more incoherent words and phrases your parents would be shocked to hear you say.

It’s been about a month since you embarked on this journey of exploring the world of dating apps. Hari said so herself that she personally knew of four happy couples that met through dating apps and insisted that it’d be a breeze for you to find someone. So maybe it’s just you, maybe you have rotten luck, or maybe you’re just not a dating app kind of person, because Date #1 could not stop talking about himself – the only question he asked was if you were going to finish the rest of your dinner or not. Date #2 ended up being a sugar daddy type of deal, and although the figures were tempting, it just wasn’t what you were looking for. You nearly filed a restraining order against Date #3 for being way too inappropriately touchy and creepy throughout the entire date. You even had to text Jungkook to come rescue you from that whole mess and he nearly knocked that creep’s lights out for being such a sleaze bag. Date #4 was the 58-year-old who lied about his dating profile and said he was 28 when in reality, he had a daughter your age. YOUR. AGE. Date #5 was such a turn off with how rudely he treated the waiters and pretty much all the other restaurant staff – an automatic swipe left. And now Date #6.

You roll over onto your back, curls fanning out around your head. You probably look like Medusa’s ugly sister right now. “He just didn’t... talk. He was the total opposite of Date #1 who couldn’t shut up long enough to let me excuse myself to the restroom. This guy barely said anything and honestly, I don’t know what’s worse.” You mutter a quick apology to Jungkook who squeaks after you accidentally dig your heel into his thigh while ranting, hitting a spot that’s a wee bit too close to a very sensitive area for him. “I kept asking questions to try to get to know the guy, only to get one-word answers from him every time.” You indignantly point at the clock on the wall. “That’s why I’m back so early, it took like forty-five minutes tops for me to run out of patience and questions to ask.”

“Mmm, sucks.” Jungkook mumbles half-heartedly, seemingly more interested in licking the spoon completely clean. “So you basically ate tacos and talked to a wall for forty-five minutes.”

“Exactly! And the tacos weren’t even that good!” You sit up, waving around exaggerated gestures before falling back onto the couch, draping an arm over your face. “You know what, that’s it. It’s obvious these are all signs that I’m supposed to be a nun. This must be my fate, my inevitable future, and I see now that I can no longer avoid the path that has been so clearly paved for me.”

“My god woman, you are dramatic. Has anyone ever told you that?” Jungkook pokes you in the stomach with the heel of his spoon, and you to flinch from the ticklish sensation.

You peek out from under your arm, “Should’ve gone into acting, huh? Seriously, damn all my life choices, damn them all!”

Jungkook chuckles, clearly amused by your theatrics. “Maybe you should take a break from the dating apps, give the potential dating pool some time to refresh and replenish a bit or something. Or, you could actually take my advice for once and stop putting so much pressure on yourself to find a boyfriend and just roll with the punches as they come.” The look he gives you is jokingly stern, though there’s some seriousness in his tone, and it makes you sigh. Maybe Jungkook’s actually onto something, as proven by your current not-so-hot track record. The past month has been more draining than fun, and so far it’s all been for nothing. Maybe you just need to give it all a break, and give yourself a break, really. Or seriously start considering entering the convent – either one, really.

As you continue to contemplate your life choices, you watch as Jungkook brings another spoonful of PB to his lips, only to dribble a straight line of it down his precious white t-shirt. He mutters an expletive under his breath and sets the jar and spoon down on the coffee table, rubbing away at the stain with his fingers. His efforts prove to be futile when the ugly brown smudge remains and without warning, he stands up and pulls the shirt off over his head, revealing the perfectly chiseled muscles of his back and shoulders. You involuntarily gulp at the sight of his sunkissed skin and the way his muscles ripple as he moves to throw the shirt into the laundry bin.

“Yeah, maybe...you’re right…” Your breath comes out in a quiet whoosh.

It’s not like you haven’t seen Jungkook shirtless before. There was that one time you went hot tubbing on the ski trip you and your friends took in college, or the few times you had to barge into his dorm room and drag his half-naked ass out of bed so he wouldn’t be late to lecture. But Jungkook’s always been a lot more conservative than not, and he didn’t exactly have the greatest confidence back then either. He used to be absolutely mortified in those moments and would hurriedly grab at anything nearby to cover up his body. Even though so many people agreed he was one of the most handsome and sought after guys on campus, he was still so self-conscious of himself. But as he went through college, he started to become interested in exercising and eventually made the commitment to hit the gym to change not only his body, but his confidence and perception of himself as well. The Jungkook now, with his sculpted physique, lean muscles, and much larger, more dominating stature, is totally different from the skinny, insecure boy you knew back in college. With the way he built himself up over the last few years physically, mentally, and emotionally, he just oozes confidence with now, which is great, but also not so great – for you, at least.

You chastise yourself every single time, but you can’t help but ogle openly during these rare moments his sweet glory is revealed to you. It’s so wrong to look at your best friend like this, you know it is – he’s just very comfortable around you and knows it’s no big deal to walk around like the half-naked god he is because it’s just you. But it’s kind of impossible to not gawk, not when his body is practically screaming to be worshipped (and is 100% worthy of it). It’s times like these that you’re reminded he is not just the jokester and bunny boy you call your best friend – he’s a fully grown man, and just so happens to be a very physically attractive one. And with the way the sight of his mouth-watering build makes your lower stomach feel, you realize once again that you’re a grown ass woman as well – a woman who has needs.

“Hey, eyes up here, perv.” He says with his back still turned to you as he grabs a hoodie hanging on one of the kitchen chairs. “And you might wanna wipe off the drool while you’re at it.” That snaps you out of your reverie as you quickly avert your eyes and sit up clumsily on the couch, making sure to scoff loud enough for him to hear.

“For your information, the world doesn’t revolve around you and your penchant for indecency, you cocky bastard. And jokes on you, there isn’t anything worth looking at, son!” Out of the corner of your eye you see him pull on the hoodie and turn back towards you, a knowing smirk tugging on his lips.

“That’s pretty much what you say every time I catch you staring. But hey, I don’t mind having an audience.” He squeezes himself next to you, draping an arm over the back of the couch and his eyes are twinkling. “But you should either fess up that you think I’m hot or come up with some new excuses, ‘cause yours are starting to get real old, babe.”

You wrinkle your nose, ignoring the way the pet name weirdly makes your heart stutter for a second. “Don’t call me babe, you baby.”

“Baby?” He leans in, his nose just a couple of dangerous inches away from yours. “I’m only like eight months younger than you, babe.”

“Whatever, you’re still a baby to me.” You grunt, folding your arms in an attempt to maintain the very little space left between your bodies. His gaze is dark and challenging, and it alone makes the heat pooling in your lower abdomen grow. “Don’t make me bring out pictures from college, Jeon. Sit down, be humble.”

“But I’m already sitting, babe.” Jungkook remarks, his tone sarcastic.

“You know, I bet Soobin wouldn’t be happy to hear her boyfriend calls other women a name that should be reserved solely for her.” You click your tongue in disapproval, secretly relieved with being able to change the subject as you quickly brush away the lustful thoughts in your head. “How are you guys even doing, by the way? Will I ever get to meet this mystery woman? Like, she’s really not just some imaginary girlfriend you made up?”

Something flashes across Jungkook’s eyes, but it’s gone before you can determine what is, and you forget all about it when he makes a face and pushes your forehead back with his index finger, “No, I’m not you, Miss ‘I’m Park SeoJoon’s wife.’ And it’s only been like less than a month, okay, chill. I just want to make sure she fully prepared to meet the freak-shows I call my friends.”

Jungkook must’ve been inspired by your new mission to find a boyfriend or something because once you started going on dates, the man apparently decided to make his own dating profile as well, surprising pretty much everyone by his sudden jump into the game. No one even knew he was interested, and he didn’t tell anyone, not even you, that he was on the apps. But that’s how he found Soobin, this mystery girl he’s apparently been seeing for the past few weeks. She’s actually a total mystery though because he hasn’t said a peep about her and how it’s been going. He’s oddly secretive about it all, which is strange because normally he tells you everything. But not this time, even though you pry and pry and pry. For some reason he just won’t budge.

“Jeon, if she can’t handle us right now, she won’t be able to handle us period, so you might as well introduce her already.” You shrug nonchalantly. “We gotta deem her worthy or weed her out.” As his best friend, you feel the need to meet this girl and see what she’s like for yourself to make sure she’s good enough for Jungkook. It’s not your fault that you want to meet her so bad – you’re just looking out for your best friend’s well-being.  

There’s a brief moment of silence as you catch Jungkook chewing on his lower lip – a habit of his when he’s feeling nervous or unsure about something – and you immediately begin to feel concerned. Maybe you pushed too much. Seeing him like that makes you feel a little guilty for prying so much without even considering that maybe something is up.

“Hang on, is something the matter?” Worry laces your voice, a hand coming to rest on his knee, “Is there a reason why you’re not saying anything?” You search his eyes for answers, but he just shakes his head vigorously, lips tightly pursed together. “Then why won’t you tell me?”

“Yeah seriously, none of us even know what this chick looks like. Why’re you keeping her such a secret from all of us?”

You hang your head backwards over the back of the couch and see Namjoon padding into the living, carrying what you assume to be an empty coffee mug in his hand. Namjoon’s always been someone Jungkook has greatly admired. He was the one who really encouraged the younger to pursue music and follow his dreams, rather than go into business like his parents wanted him to. If there’s anyone he’ll listen to, it’s Namjoon, though you continuously pray Jungkook won’t ever adopt the older man’s horrible sleeping habits. The dark shadows under his eyes and hoarseness of his voice indicate just how tired and in need of caffeine he is from most likely another all-nighter in the studio. But then again, the big producer man always looks like he runs on nothing but caffeine and no sleep. What a life.

Still hanging upside down, you give him a small wave and a “hi-yo” to which he copies your greeting adorably, his droopy eyes lighting up slightly.

“Hyung, not you too.” Jungkook whines defeatedly, running a hand down his face, “Look, she’s no secret, okay. I just, I don’t know, I just—”

“—don’t want to scare her off, yeah I get it.” Namjoon calls over his shoulder as he scuffs his slipper-clad heels towards the coffee machine in the kitchen. “It’s a new relationship, you’re still testing the waters, and we can be a lot to handle, so I get it. And by we, I really mean ___.”

“Hey!” You protest as Namjoon starts the machine before he comes out of the kitchen and strolls towards you, affectionately ruffling your already mussed hair.

“I say that with all the love in my heart, you Tasmanian devil.”

You scowl at him. “I hope your coffee is just as bitter as I am right now.”

“Anyways,” He turns to Jungkook, ignoring your griping. “Yoongi and I just got word that Slow Rabbit’s throwing some sort of PR event this weekend. He told us to invite the whole gang and any other friends, help boost our publicity a little.” Namjoon gives the younger man a pointed look. “Basically, it’s the perfect opportunity to introduce bae, if you want to, that is.”

“Oh, this is perfect!” You jump up and clasp your hands together excitedly. “We’ll finally expose Jeon for making up some fake ass imaginary girlfriend, and maybe I’ll finally be able to mingle with some normal guys for once.” You pause, turning to Namjoon, “Your producer friends are decent guys, right?”

Namjoon gives you a wary look and a half-hearted shrug, “Uhh, sure, I guess?”

“Awesome!” You chirp, “I trust you Joonie, it’s always been you and only y-” You let out a yelp when a pair of arms grabs your waist and spins you around so that you’re falling face first onto the sofa. The hands holding you hostage begin to mercilessly poke into your sides, forcing what sounds like a combination of choked laughter and cries for help out of you.

“Fake ass imaginary girlfriend, huh?” Jungkook growls, digging his fingers deeper into your love-handles, and you immediately howl in surrender. “I’m gonna make you throw up your tacos, you wench.”

From the sideline, Namjoon just sighs at the noisy commotion playing out in front of him, shaking his head as he watches Jungkook flip you onto your back and dive for your stomach, lips curling upwards mischievously. The wide grin on your face and ringing laughter in between yelps for mercy prevent Namjoon from feeling like he actually needs to intervene and save you. He does, however, feel disappointed (but not surprised) that you both can’t even see what’s happening here. He decides to just leave you two to duke it out, quietly sighing and shuffling into the kitchen to grab his coffee.

Maybe one day.

- - - - -   

It’s the following Friday night and guess where you are?

Not at home in your pajamas watching Black Panther while eating Thai take-out that Jungkook brought, that’s for sure. The thought alone makes you so incredibly sad. Because instead, in cruel reality, you’re sitting at a table inside a very dimly lit club called the Sound Bar, which is surprisingly clean and roomy, waiting for this PR event to start already. You know this is how all the hip young adults live out their lives in the movies, but now you’re seriously beginning to regret all that complaining about wanting to go out.

A few people have arrived, and you recognize them as some of Yoongi’s friends that you don’t know too well yourself. They linger around the bar in a huddled group, sipping on beers and chatting away with the man himself, who also looks like he doesn’t particularly want to be here either. That’s because you and Yoongi know what’s up – comfort is king and living under a rock is the only way to go. The thought pulls a sigh from your lungs as you turn to scan the venue. Besides them, it looks like you and your closer group of friends make up majority of the crowd currently, but people are really starting to file in now, steadily filling up the spacious area with body heat, boisterous conversation, and a lot of different smells. It makes your nose twitch.

Strangely enough, you don’t see Jungkook and Soobin yet, and you keep craning your neck to watch the door like a hawk for their entrance. While you were getting ready with Hari hours prior, you made Jungkook double pinky swear to not bail and to actually bring Soobin so you could meet her and confirm that she’s real. (“If you don’t come, I’m actually going to spread the rumor that you have an imaginary girlfriend.” “You’re the actual spawn of Satan, I swear.”) You know he’ll come regardless – he wouldn’t just leave you hanging like this. It’s finally time to figure out why he’s keeping this girl on the hush hush, and what exactly is going on with him.

“Whoa.” A baritone voice brings you out of your thoughts. Swiveling around, you see Taehyung gaping openly at you, a hand covering his mouth. “Seriously, like whoaaa.”

You scrunch your nose. “Tae, don’t even start – you’re literally so embarrassing.”

“Hey, if Hari is your number one hype woman, then I’m your number one hype man, okay, just let me be!” He stretches his arms out towards you as if he’s showing off an award, holding up jazz hands and everything. “Just look at you, queen! My baby Hari did such a great job, you look like a total hoochie mama!”

Your cheeks burn a scarlet red. “Oh good, because it was totally my goal to look like a hoochie mama. Thanks Tae.” Now you also regret letting Hari squeeze you into this skimpy black two-piece set. It was a bad idea from the start, but Taehyung’s reaction just confirms it. The short noodle strap crop top tightly hugs your bust and shows off more of your midriff than you would ever prefer. You keep wanting to cover it up with your arms out of reflex. But luckily the shorts are comfortable, though a bit short for your liking. Your hair flows down in beachy waves and a deep burgundy tints your lips, and the silver dollar-coin sized hoops hanging off your ear lobes are over the top in your opinion, but Hari threatened you to wear them out, insisting the outfit wouldn’t be complete without them. If anything, it’s Hari’s fault you apparently look like a hoochie mama.

“No problem!” Taehyung grins, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He catches whiff of your unhappy demeanor and nudges you playfully, his expression softening. “Aw, c’mon ­­­__, lighten up a little! You look hot, seriously.” He pulls away to examine the state you’re in. “Do you need a drink? Actually yeah, you definitely do. I’m going to get you one.” Taehyung spins around on the stool to head to the bar, only for a hand to clamp down on his shoulder, stopping him mid-spin. Your eyes drift to the side and you’re surprised to see Jungkook giving his friend a silent but very clear warning, tilting his head intimidatingly. “No, I’ll go get ­it. God knows how many types of alcohol you’ll ask Hoseok hyung to mix into her drink. Then you’ll be responsible for dealing with the mess afterwards.”

Glaring at Taehyung’s sheepish smile, Jungkook’s slate eyes land on you and immediately widen, his jaw going slack when he sees the little (emphasis on little) black number you’re wearing. It’s probably because he’s so used to you wearing only leggings and oversized shirts and hoodies all the time that seeing you like this is a shock. That’s certainly how you felt looking at your reflection in the mirror at home. But you can’t help but shift uncomfortably in your seat, suddenly feeling the need to cross a leg over the other and place your purse strategically over your midriff from his gaze alone. Seconds, minutes, hours could be passing by but his glare doesn’t falter one bit. It’s almost seems like he’s angry or something but it’s also not quite that – you can’t seem to put your finger on it. Fortunately, the lights are dimmed low, and you just hope it’s dark enough to hide the blush that’s suddenly crawling up your neck from the way Jungkook keeps staring. At this rate he’s going to end up burning a hole straight through you.

“Doesn’t she look smoking?” Taehyung whistles low, giving his friend a nudge to the ribs. He barely moves and just continues keep his eyes glued on you.

“Hari did this?” Jungkook ignores him, finally speaking up after a few tense moments. His voice sounds much deeper than normal.

“Yeah,” You squeak awkwardly, looking away from his heavy gaze. What’s his deal? “So uh, where’s Soobin?” You try to change the subject, clearing your throat slightly and pretending to look around for this girl you don’t even know. You think it works, but then Jungkook catches you off guard by suddenly shrugging off his jean jacket and reaching around to drape it over your shoulders, the denim fabric engulfing your figure. It automatically feels a lot stuffier and ten degrees warmer, but you’re not sure if it’s because of the jacket or because of Jungkook’s unrelenting glower. You suddenly feel jittery.

“Dude, I could use this later when I’m drunk and cold and waiting for an Uber, not when it’s like a bajillion degrees inside.” You joke as you jump down from the stool and move to take the jacket off, only for his hands to keep it firmly in place on your shoulders. You look up at the man towering over you and have to consciously keep yourself from physically cowering away. Jungkook looks pissed. But for what reason, you have no clue. He just looks annoyed beyond reason, and not like when you normally mess with him and call him a fatty or something. It’s different, and it’s intimidating enough to make you swallow your pride and obey his next words.

“Keep it on.”

He lingers for a moment longer before dropping his arms and stalking off, disappearing among the crowd that has grown significantly in the last ten minutes, probably to go find Soobin. What’s disturbing is how your chest rises and falls rapidly, your heart hammering against your rib cage like a trapped bird that wants to be let out. You have no idea what the hell just happened here. It’s not like Jungkook to ever despise your outfits, let alone even care about what you wear in general. Maybe he fought with Soobin on the way here and is in a bad mood? Or worse, maybe you did something to upset him without realizing it. You shake your head as if to brush aside all the conflicting thoughts, and pinch the bridge of your nose. Yeah, you do need a drink, pronto.

At the bar you order a vodka-cran and send a weak smile to the bartender Hoseok, who’s a friend of Namjoon’s and an acquaintance of yours, requesting for him to make the drink a bit stronger than normal. He smiles back and doesn’t question your request, immediately whisking away to make your order. You would hug the man if you could, God knows how much you need a nice strong drink right now.

“___!” You hear Hari giggle and she plops down on the stool next to yours, looking very giddy and flushed in the face – a tell-tale sign that she’s had a few drinks already. At least someone’s having a good time. “Where’d you get the jacket? I kind of like the addition, it’s a bit grungy but in like a sexy, hipster way, you know?”

Remembering what happened with Jungkook, the jacket suddenly feels twenty pounds heavier as you shift it around awkwardly on your shoulders. “Uhh yeah, Jungkook gave it to me ‘cause, uh, I was cold.” Yeah, that’s why he acted the way he did. He was just angry because you might be cold…because that totally makes sense. You sigh inwardly.

“I don’t know about cold, it feels like a hundred degrees in here.” A voice chimes in, making you and Hari turn your heads simultaneously to the right. Dressed casually in a white button-down shirt that’s rolled up loosely at the elbows, a man sits on the bar stool to your right, sporting short jet-black hair, thick but neatly groomed eyebrows, a small, polite smile, and these beautiful obsidian eyes that are currently locked in on yours. Even though he’s sitting, you can tell he’s literally the definition of tall, dark and handsome, enough so to make you wonder why the hell he’s talking to you.

“Oh yeah, it’s like a god-awful sauna in here. In fact, let me go tell Joon, maybe he can get someone to crank up the AC or something.” Hari hurriedly blurts out, jumping from her stool with a knowing twinkle in her eye. She gives your arm a quick squeeze, a silent “good luck!” before taking off, making sure to look back at you every other step of the way. Very subtle.

Just before an awkward silence can ensue, Hoseok comes by to deliver your drink, which you immediately grab and begin to chug hastily, all the while silently praying this guy won’t end up being dud #7. Even if he does, you’re still going to need all the alcohol you can get to survive the rest of the night, what with Jungkook acting all weird, not having even met Soobin yet, or not having mingled with other people yet. The glass still at your lips, the thought causes you to wave your hand in a haphazard signal to Hoseok for another vodka-cran.

“Bit thirsty, aren’t we now?” Damn. Tipping back the last bits, you set the glass down and take in a deep breath, alcohol steadily dissolving in your blood as you ready yourself for whatever is to come. “Ha-ha, yeah,” You croak awkwardly, fidgeting with the glass, “just needed to cool down, ‘cause you know, it’s so hot.”

“Didn’t you just say you were cold?”

You glance down at the light acid wash jacket and momentarily shut your eyes in regret. If it was humanly possibly, you’d kick yourself in the shin for sounding so stupid right off the bat.

“This,” You open your eyes after re-composing yourself and put on a one-hundred-watt smile, “is merely a fashion statement. I was going for the grungy, sexy, hipster look, that’s all.”

“Ah, right, like your friend just said.”

You bite your lip. Okay, it’s official – you fucked up. You should just get up and walk away right now. Save some face and talk to someone else before this gets any more humiliating than it already is. You decide that this can’t go for much longer or else you’ll literally die and wither away from embarrassment. A goodbye is already on your lips and your legs itch to make a run for it when the guy suddenly starts to laugh, his shoulders shaking, while wearing a grin that undoubtedly looks really good on him.

“Wow, alright then.” Looking positively amused, he stretches a hand out to you. “Hi, I’m YoungHo.”

“And you think I’m totally bizarre.” You mumble back, wanting nothing more than to crawl under a rock and die. But YoungHo shakes his head, letting go of his drink to wave his hands at you as well.

“No I don’t, really.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, causing him to cock his head to the side, a lopsided smile on his face.

“I just think you’re kinda… quirky?”

“Oh God, you might as well tell me to go join the Ripley’s Believe It or Not crew.” You groan, propping your elbows on the bar and burying your face into your hands. He’s just being nice and trying to make light conversation and here you are looking like a total buffoon with half a brain cell left. There’s just no way he doesn’t think you’re at least a little insane. Your cheeks feel like burning pieces of coal, the heat effectively setting the rest of your face ablaze along with them.

He laughs again, the sound so deep and rich and honestly quite pleasant to listen to. But sensing your mortification, he quickly begins to cough, clearing his throat to rid of the laughter.

“You know,” He continues, seemingly more composed now, but a smile still twinkles in his eyes, “I used to not be able to understand why people would go see shows like that. They just didn’t seem all that appealing to me. But then I watched The Greatest Showman and man, it totally changed my views. Now I’m dying to go see a show.”

Your ears perk up after hearing the name of one of your favorite movies and you lift your head from your hands, the embarrassment slowly starting to fade away. “Isn’t that movie just amazing? And I totally get what you mean, I wasn’t a huge fan of stuff like that before but now I’m just waiting for something like Ripley’s to come to town so I can snag tickets and reminisce.”

He hums in agreement, “It also hands down has the best soundtrack out there. I think it’s definitely up there with the Lion King and Hamilton.”

You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, your muscles starting to relax a little bit now. “Hamilton tickets are seriously impossible to get. You’ll never guess how many email accounts I made just to try and win lottery tickets.”

“How many?”

“Eleven.”

“Get out of here.”

“No, seriously!”

Before you know it, more drinks are being poured and the conversation is taking off with its new set of wings, all embarrassment now left in the dust of the past. You two continue to chat about movies, which leads to talking about hobbies, favorite places in the city, the best pizza parlor in town (it might just be the alcohol or you’re just really that passionate about your pizza opinions because you two even end up getting into a very heated debate about thin crust versus deep dish). You’re honestly surprised by how natural it feels. Time flies through bouts of laughter and light conversation, and it all ends up being so much easier than you originally thought it’d be. And, this guy has yet to prove himself to be a dud yet. He’s actually very nice – attentive, funny, finds you funny. No joke, the man seems to really enjoy laughing at you. But he assures you that he’s not laughing at you – he’s just laughing at your antics, the peculiar things you say, the never-ending sass tank you’ve got fully loaded and on hand at all times.

At one point when you slam your fist down and insist that deep dish pizza is the only way to go, he tells you to prove it, smoothly asking you out on a pizza date so you two can compare thin crust and deep dish. You almost can’t believe it when he hands your phone back to you, “YoungHo :)” and a phone number illuminating on the bright screen. Things actually seem to be working out for once – you might’ve actually found a normal match!

Two hours of drinks and conversation breezes by before YoungHo tells you he needs to run to the restroom. “Watch my drink?” He smiles, a hand gently resting on the small of your upper back. You nod more furiously than you anticipated, but he doesn’t seem to notice and thanks you, turning to squeeze his way through the crowd.

It feels great to know that things seem to finally be looking up, you would cry if it wasn’t for the fear of ruining Hari’s wonderfully done make up. You do figuratively pat yourself on the back, though. You really did your drunk, 26-year-old self some good by putting yourself out there like this.

YoungHo seems like a decent guy, really. But in the short time you spent getting to know him, you still made sure Hoseok just kept the drinks coming, because no matter how nice of a conversation it was, you were still a little nervous the entire time. With your luck and current track record, things could go wrong at any time, so you needed the help of your good friend alcohol to get you to loosen you up a bit. But it’s only now that you’ve let your guard down a little that the effects of the drinks seem to really be kicking in full force. Only now is the room is starting to spin, your head feeling a lot fuller and fuzzier than before. You swirl Youngho’s whisky glass absentmindedly, sleepily observing the ice spin round and round at the bottom, the motion soothing, almost hypnotizing. If you keep doing this you might actually be able to put yourself to slee-

“You hanging in there alright?”

You startle from your drowsy haze, eyes uncoordinatedly searching for a bit before finally landing on a familiar figure to your right. It’s not YoungHo – this time, it’s a much more familiar person.

“Jeon-bun!” You excitedly coo, cupping your chin with your hands and leaning forward on your elbows to get closer to your best friend, who plops down on the seat next to you. You blink lethargically several times, a dopey grin hanging on your lips. “Why isn’t it my favorite boy, my baby, my love child, my little tulip.”

Jungkook whips his head toward you, the once stoic look on his face now morphed into one of bewilderment. “Tulip? Love child? What the actual- how many drinks have you had?”

“Psh,” You wave a hand carelessly at him, “Like, Monday.”

“Shit, this is bad.” Jungkook groans, carding a hand through his hair. “Monday’s not a number, stupid.”

“Oh, I meant seven, seeeevvveeeen, hehehehehe.”

You’d argue you can handle your alcohol pretty well, with six or seven drinks being your limit. But then again, it’s not like you remember much after having that many drinks, so you can’t really say for sure. According to Jungkook who’s witnessed and endured majority of your drunk episodes with you, that is definitely not the case, but what does he know?

You watch as he squeezes his eyes shut, as if pained about something, and the sight makes you frown. You don’t like seeing your Jungkookie sad, mad, upset or frustrated about anything. Not on your watch.

“HEY!” You shout, startling some people nearby as you press your index fingers onto the corners of his lips, pushing them up until they form a constipated looking smile. “No frowning allowed, nuh uh. My love child is not allowed to be sad. You’re ugly when you’re sad.”

“Oh gee thanks, real confidence booster.”

You let go and pinch his cheeks before letting your arms drop, swaying your head as you hum along to the music that’s playing. You recognize it to be one of Namjoon’s original songs from one of his mixtapes, and it also happens to be one of your favorites, the tune upbeat and catchy. It just serves to lift your drunk spirits even higher. 

“YoungHo’s great, did I tell you that?” You suddenly announce. Eyes closed, you continue to hum as you wait for Jungkook to respond. It feels like it takes longer than usual for him to respond to you, but that could just be you and your impaired sense of time. But he eventually answers, his voice low and even.

“The guy you’ve been talking to all night, his name’s YoungHo, huh.” 

You bob your head up and down, “Yeah, he likes pizza. And I think he likes me. Actually I don’t know yet, we’re gonna go get pizza next week so I’ll find out then.” You giggle, turning from side to side on the bar stool. Sighing happily, you suddenly swivel around to face Jungkook, knees bumping up against his. He flinches at the sudden contact.

“Jungkook-ah.”

“What.”

“I’m so happy.” You sigh again, staring off into space with a dreamy look on your face, not noticing the way Jungkook tenses up, gripping the beer bottle in his hand.

“That so? How come?” He says calmly, though his body reacts in the complete opposite manner. He nervously taps his fingers along the glass of the bottle and bites down on his lower lip, worrying the flesh between his teeth. But you don’t pay attention to it, his actions cloaked by the drunken spell that’s been casted over you.

“Because,” You tilt your head to the side, giving him an even more wistful smile, “pizza exists, Fat Fridays are the best, I finally met a guy who isn’t 58 or a total creep, I have the most amazing friends, and an even more incredible best friend and I love you, Jungkook.” A hiccup mixed with a chuckle escapes you. “I love you, best friend. You know I wouldn’t be able to do life with you, right?”

On a regular night out, drunk you includes the following: increases in smiling frequency, steadily rising volume of laughter, increasing amounts of shouting and passionate declarations, ensuing of blabbering nonsense, and finally, sleepy sappiness to end the night. Basically alcohol brings out your normal personality and amplifies it a few thousand times. Normally, Jungkook’s used to experiencing all your drunk symptoms and isn’t even phased by all the cheesy sap or ridiculousness that tends to spew from your lips. But this time your words hit differently – they strike his bones from an angle he wasn’t prepared to take a blow from. It causes him to swallow past a lump in his throat, and he quickly takes a swig of his beer to help force it down.

“Thought you said you were tired of Fat Fridays, said they made you feel like a retired grandma.” He manages to get out, eyes flitting around nervously.

You place a hand to your chest in feigned offense, “Who, me? I would never say such a thing, Fat Fridays are a blessing from above.” Reaching over, you give Jungkook’s hand a friendly squeeze, his eyes focused on where your hand lies. “I’m just saying that things are perfect the way they are right now, okay. YoungHo and I are getting married, you and I will keep the Fat Friday tradition alive, and everything will be happy and wonderful for the rest of our lives.”

“Married?!” Jungkook nearly spits out the sip of beer he had just taken and chokes back on a cough. “I think you need to take like eighty-six steps back and stop jumping to conclusions for a second, ___.” He scoffs in disbelief, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You barely even know the guy.”

“I know enough about him, trust me.” You drunkenly wave his judgment away. “Anyways, where’s Soobin? You did bring her, right? I want to meet her already, you asshole!”

Jungkook sighs and fights the urge to roll his eyes, even as you give his arm a spiteful pinch. “Calm down, she’s using the restroom. I’ll introduce her once she gets ba-”

“I’m here, babe.”

At the sound of the unfamiliar voice, your eyes shoot open. You immediately spin around and hop off the bar stool, steadying yourself on the seat cushion once your feet hit the ground because apparently alcohol has the power to turn your legs into jelly. You squint a little in an attempt to get your vision to focus. Through the drunken fog, you’re able to make out a set of cat-like eyes, pink thinly pursed lips, a cascade of perfect ringlets of caramel curls, and a tight blue body-con dress hugging a slim, petite figure. This must be her, this must be-

“Soobin!” You squeal elatedly, taking the girl’s hands into yours, proceeding to shake them up and down furiously. “It’s soooo nice to finally meet you.” You let go of one hand to jerk a thumb at Jungkook. “This asshat’s been keeping us in the dark for so long when it comes to you, so I’m so happy to finally be able to meet you!”

You look back and forth between Jungkook and Soobin like an overly excited puppy that needs to pee. But you can’t help it, you’re finally meeting the girl that Jungkook has deemed worthy of his affections, so of course it’s a huge moment for you, for all of you. Best friend meets girlfriend, girlfriend meets best friend. It does makes you feel a little weird though, seeing the person who is apparently his girlfriend stand by his side. Whatever this feeling is, it’s definitely…foreign. But you’re too caught up in the excitement to really care – you just hope it’s a moment you won’t forget because of your frenemy Mr. Vodka-Cran. Screw him.

“Um, hi, it’s nice to meet you too.” The girl says uneasily, leaning a bit closer to Jungkook. “You must be ___.”

Your jaw drops open unattractively as you jab a finger at your own chest. “You know who I am?!”

“Jungkook talks about you a lot.” Soobin states matter-of-factly, her demeanor cool and calm – almost too cool and calm. You feel the need to introduce her to Mr. Vodka-Cran.

“Aw, does he really now?” You affectionately pat Jungkook on the cheek, who rolls his eyes when you coo at him. “I’m his best friend – actually, the best friend he could ever ask for – so I’m not surprised. But still happy to hear it.” You focus your attention back on Soobin, your eyes sparkling. “So, tell me about yourself! How did you and Jungkook meet? Oh wait, silly me, I already know you met on Tinder, duh! What I meant to say is, how’s it going? Are you guys happy together?” You suddenly gasp, “Are you guys going to get married?! Oh my gosh, congratulations! I can’t wait to tell the others-”

The rest of your words come out as a muffled, unintelligible mess from behind Jungkook’s hand. He knows better than to let the “blabbing nonsense” stage get any worse. It takes you an extra long second to register what’s happening but when you finally do, you give him a repulsed look before licking his palm in revenge, causing him to draw his hand back reflexively.

“O-kay, I think that’s enough ‘getting to know each other’ time.” He cringes, wiping the spit off on his dark denim jeans. “Uh, so yeah, ___ this is Soobin, Soobin this is ___.” He turns to Soobin, looking apologetic, “Sorry you have to meet ___ when she’s butt-drunk like this. Normally she’s a little off her rocker but I swear she’s not this crazy all the time.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Well that’s kind of a bummer to hear.”

Cheeks flushed, you whirl around and are greeted by another one of YoungHo’s amused smiles and he leisurely strides over to where you guys are standing. It feels like he’s been gone for forever; you nearly forgot about him for a second there. You wonder if he was really in the bathroom for that long or if alcohol just slows time down that much.

“YoungHo,” You beam, raising a hand up in salutation, before directing it towards the couple beside you, “this is my best friend and pet bunny, Jungkook. And this,” you gesture towards Soobin, “is his girlfriend Soobin! Aren’t they just precious?”

YoungHo bites his lips to hold back a bout of laughter, obviously having not expected your level of inebriety to increase this much in the few minutes he was gone. But he lets his manners go ahead of him, extending a hand out to Jungkook. “Pleasure’s mine, I’m YoungHo, a… new friend of ___’s.”

Jungkook stares at the man’s hand like it’s his first time seeing a hand and he doesn’t quite know what to do with it. He stills, the booming music and surrounding chattering conversations blurring together messily in the background. You may be far from sober, but even you can feel the palpable awkwardness, and you frantically wonder why he’s just letting this stretch of silence pass on by without saying anything. It’s so awkward, YoungHo’s expression starts to shift into an uncomfortable one, his outstretched hand wavering slightly. Your eyes quickly flicker to Soobin, who looks just as puzzled as you feel, and out of anxious discomfort you inwardly start to chant you shake it, you dimwit, shake it!

After a few more excruciating moments of tension, the man seems to finally figure out how to operate his own hand and takes YoungHo’s into his, the handshake looking really firm – almost painfully firm. But at least he finally shook his damn hand and put all of you out of your collective awkward misery.

From beneath slightly narrowed eyes, Jungkook makes silent eye contact with YoungHo before he mutters a greeting and briskly lets go, shoving his hand into his pocket. You remind yourself to give Jungkook a lesson on basic manners after this night is finally over with.

“Allllllrighty then!” You chirp, clapping your hands together to break up the strange atmosphere. “Friends, girlfriends, tulips – everyone’s been introduced. This calls for celebration! And more alcohol!” In your trek back towards the bar, you somehow manage to trip over your own foot, gravity pulling your body forward in a sudden jerk that has you falling towards the gleaming wood surface. But luckily a hand, no, two hands grab your arms and quickly hoist you up, your eyes rolling around dizzily in your head from all the movement. Blinking in a daze, you turn to your left and right and see Jungkook and YoungHo holding onto you, wearing similarly concerned expressions on their faces.

“Well thank god I have the two of you to save me from banging up my face, haha!” A hiccup leaves your lips, but soon turns into a giddy giggle, followed by more hiccups. At this point, you don’t have enough sober left in you to even think about feeling embarrassed. You just grin stupidly, happy as can be.  

“Okay, no more drinks for you. I think it’s time to go home.” Jungkook enforces sternly, pulling you away from the bar and consequently out of YoungHo’s grip as well. The event must really be taking off now because it’s much more difficult to hear his voice over the pulsating bass and rowdy cheering than before. In the distance you see a circle of people cheering on a group of break dancers who are spinning around on the floor and showing off their fancy, intricate dance moves. More and more people are squeezed onto the dance floor now, swaying their bodies to the music in one massive clump of body heat and sweat, the beat and blanket of intoxication fully taking control of the atmosphere. There’s just no way you’re can leave now, not when the party’s just getting started.

“No.” Jungkook says scoldingly, reading your mind before you can even think of protesting. “I already know what you’re thinking. Trust me, you’re gonna thank me tomorrow when you get a full night’s sleep and your hangover is ten times better than it would’ve been.”

“But Jeonnie,” You whine unapologetically, giving him an annoyed pout. “Just because you want to go home doesn’t mean I want to go home yet. Some of us just want to live our lives, you party pooper!” You swing your hand at his chest but completely miss, stumbling forward when you hit nothing but air. This time YoungHo is quicker to react and his hands are on your waist before you even realize you’re falling, his grip steadying you on your feet.

“Actually, I think that might be a good idea, ___.” YoungHo agrees gently, trying hard not to smile at your sulky frown that just grows larger and cuter by the second. “Might be a good time to call it a night, gotta keep you from breaking an arm or something. Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.” In your drunk stupor, you still get startled when Jungkook suddenly steps forward, wearing an expression you don’t think you’ve ever seen on him before.

“No it’s all good, I’ll take her home.” Though he stands tall, his words come out in a nervous rush. The nervousness in his voice sounds so unlike him, so uncharacteristic of him. He must realize how hasty he sounded because he’s suddenly scratching the back of his neck, eyes flitting around awkwardly. “I mean, I’ve taken care of her drunk self plenty of times in the past, so I’m used to it. She can just be a real beast to deal with once the alcohol fully hits.”

Your face twists in offense, “Uh, excuse you Mr. Jeon-balaya-”

“No really, it’s fine,” YoungHo cuts in, stepping forward as well to match Jungkook’s stance. “I don’t mind at all. I’m completely sobered up and my car’s parked right up front. Besides,” he eyes Soobin who’s been standing there all along, quiet as a mouse, before shifting back to Jungkook, “you should take care of your girlfriend, no?”

Maybe it’s just your eyes playing tricks on you, but you swear you see Jungkook’s hands ball up into fists at his side. He looks ticked, again, just like earlier when he first saw your outfit. But at the same time, your best friend, whom you can usually read like a book, faces the other man completely stone-faced, blank of any real emotion, and truthfully it comes across as a bit scary. This night just gets stranger and stranger by the minute. 

You think the unbearable awkward tension is back, but this time you can’t really tell for sure. They continue to stare at each other like there’s some sort of show down to be had, and it soon becomes too much for your inebriated brain to comprehend. All you know for sure is that just as Jungkook predicted, the alcohol is really starting to hit you now. You know you’re standing still but it feels like the world is tipping sideways on its axis just to throw you off balance. The strong bass hammers in your ear and shakes you from the inside out in a way that makes your stomach churn uneasily, like Mr. Vodka-Cran is about to take his revenge on you. For the first time that night, you agree with the both of them – maybe it is time to go home.

“Jungkook,” Soobin suddenly speaks up after not having said a single word in the last ten minutes, “just let the man take her home. You were planning on staying at my place tonight anyway, no?” You bring a hand to your head as if it’ll help alleviate the headache that’s starting to pound away at your skull. Why does Soobin sound upset too? Did you do something wrong? What the hell is going on? Where are your goddamn pajamas ‘cause you really need to pass the fuck out ASAP.

Sensing your growing discomfort, YoungHo reaches for your purse on the bar stool and slings it over your shoulder, looking down at you worriedly. “_­__­ really doesn’t look too good, I think we should head out. I’ll let her friend know we’re leaving, and I’ll be sure to get her home safe. It was nice meeting you both.” With a hand on the small of your back, he leads you away from a shell-shocked Jungkook and an equally upset-looking Soobin, moving forward through the hordes of people, not letting you turn back to look even once. You just hope all of this, whatever this was, will be cleared up by morning.  

- - - - -   

Things aren’t the same after that night at the Sound Bar.

Thankfully, you wake up the next day alone and in your own bed, the other half of it empty and fortunately unoccupied. You end up nursing a nasty hangover for the next two days after that night, your recovery weekend filled with lots of pedialyte, tylenol, and soup to keep your poor stomach at bay. It’s frustrating because no matter how hard you try to remember, that night is just one big drunken blur in your memory. Luckily Hari, who had been nearby at the time and witnessed it all go down, helps fill you in on everything that happened. You immediately spam Jungkook’s phone afterwards with apology texts, asking him to deliver your sincerest apologies to Soobin as well for being so rude and insane that night (you swear to never talk to Mr. Vodka-Cran ever again, that bastard). But strangely, there’s no reply. You vaguely remember him saying he was going to spend the night at Soobin’s place, so you figure he’s just busy spending his weekend with her. It’s no big deal, he’ll get back to you in a few days and things will soon be all settled and forgiven.

He eventually texts back to tell you it’s fine, but that he’s got a busy week ahead of him. The deadline for his demos are coming up, and apparently he’s super far behind and has a ton of shit to catch up on. You were hoping he’d be free so you’d be able to at least apologize to him one more time, in person. But you don’t get to see him, and Fat Friday doesn’t happen that week. Again, not the end of the world. He’s an adult, he’s got adult responsibilities to take care of, and it’s totally normal to not see your friend’s face for a week. Well, not normal for you, but you figure it’s normal in general.

The following week, Jungkook says he’s still swamped with work. You tell him you’ll go to his place to keep him some company in his misery, promising not to distract him too much and even offering to bring take-out, which happens maybe once in a blue moon. But he declines your offer (he says no to take-out!) and insists he really needs to be alone and concentrate. Though his rejection leaves a slight sting, his reasons are understandable – the producer life isn’t an easy one and knowing how much of a perfectionist Jungkook is, that life is probably just that much more difficult for him. It’s a very reasonable excuse.

Before you know it, two weeks go by, and it’s onto week three. His text replies are becoming sparse and each successive one sounds less and less like him. His apologies are half-hearted at best and he repeatedly blames it on the stress he was dealing with. But he says the demos are finally in, and that he’s free for the next few weeks before he starts up on another project. You ignore the fact that he’s been acting off, your desire to see your best friend trumping his unusual behavior, and text him to get his “fat ass ready for wings and some Thor action, cuz it’s Fat Friday baby!” hoping deep down inside that he won’t turn you down again this week. But to your utter shock, he does, this time with the excuse of needing to tend to his very neglected girlfriend. Another slap of rejection. But it makes sense that if he didn’t have any time for his own girlfriend, then he definitely didn’t have time for you. Of course he’d want to spend quality time with her to make up for the time he was gone. Of course.

So in those three rather empty weeks, you fill your time in other ways. The day after meeting at the Sound Bar, YoungHo texts you to set up your pizza date. Instead of lounging around at home like you normally do with some superhero movie on Netflix and Jungkook hogging up majority of the sofa with his body, you spend the evening going to two different pizza places with YoungHo. It ends up being a nice first date, one which concludes with you reluctantly admitting that thin crust is actually pretty bomb too (but you still pledge your loyalty to deep dish forever). The conversation still flows nicely with him as you both continue to get to know more about one another. Turns out, YoungHo’s a friend of a friend of Namjoon’s and works as some fancy business manager for some even fancier big-shot business company in the city. Strangely enough, this new tidbit of information makes you instantly think of Jungkook, who in his college days, once passionately declared he’d rather die than be stuck at a boring office job for the rest of his life. He sure is a man of his word, seeing how he kept to it and now is doing what he truly loves to do – producing and making music.

The second week, YoungHo surprises you by taking you to see Hamilton, the musical. Apparently, his company offers discount prices on certain events like musicals, and he managed to get seats in the orchestra pit for dirt cheap. He was worried it’d be too fancy and serious for the third date, but you’re just thrilled that you finally get to see the musical in real life, rather than just listening to the soundtrack on Spotify on repeat and creating an imaginary musical inside your head. The show ends up being even more amazing than you could ever describe with words. The songs, the dialogue, the characters – it’s a night that will be forever embedded in your memories. You know you just have to take Jungkook to see it the next time the Hamilton crew is back in town – you know he would love it just as much as you did.

The third week you offer to make YoungHo dinner at your apartment for date five, to change things up a little. He’s been so generous and proactive with planning all the previous dates, you feel like it’s the least you can do to show some effort on your part. So you invite him over and prepare a fancy steak and roasted vegetable dinner that you copped off a Tasty recipe. After dinner, you turn on the Hamilton soundtrack as YoungHo pours out two glasses of wine and continues the conversation about favorite childhood memories. He sits up properly on the sofa, one leg crossed over the other as he animatedly reminisces about the time he accidentally called the fire department thinking he was calling his mom. You smile and nod at his story and make sure to laugh at the right times, but for some reason, you can’t help but think about how he’s sitting. It’s an odd thought to have, but it bothers you throughout the night – it just looks too proper, too upright. If Jungkook were here, you think, he’d be sprawled out all over your couch, legs and arms hanging over the edges and you’d have to shove him off or prop his feet up on your lap just so you could sit. Then you’d make a comment about his feet smelling like a dead animal and he’d pounce on you and tickle you until you’re breathless and admitting surrender. But that’s if Jungkook were here. He hasn’t been here in weeks.

The days, hours, and minutes, crawl by at a snail pace until it’s finally week four since you’ve seen Jungkook. Now, there’s just – nothing. No legit or even half-assed excuses to explain for his prolonged absence. It seems like he’s even given up replying to your texts, seeing as though you were left on read three days ago.

You start to think that maybe this is just what it feels like to grow up. That adult friendships are just starkly different from younger ones, where you have all the care-free time in the world to hang out and talk and do nothing together. Maybe this is how adult friends end up becoming more distant from each other. Life starts to demand too much, significant others are put at the higher end of the priority list, and something has to suffer for the new change in the hierarchy. If that’s the case and that’s what this is, then you conclude that being an adult sucks, and you want no part of it anymore.

You don’t even realize you’re lost in your own thoughts until YoungHo says your name, snapping you out of it and back to reality. He was in the middle of explaining what was going on in the baseball game you two were watching at his place when you started to space out, traveling down the sad, dark rabbit hole you hate to admit you’ve kind of been living in for the past month. Now that your head is out of the clouds, you wince at the sight of the baseball game on the TV. Jungkook loves baseball. You wonder if he’s out there somewhere watching this game too.

The TV suddenly goes black. Youngho’s hand lowers the remote control onto the coffee table before he turns to you, one leg crossed over the only, polite and proper as usual. You can already tell by the look on his face that he has a question on his lips, ready to fire away.

“What’s been going on with you lately, ___?”

You blink a couple of times, not liking where this conversation is going. “What do you mean? Nothing’s up.” Even you don’t think your words sound convincing to your own ears.

YoungHo sighs. “These past few dates, I’ve caught you staring off into space multiple times, looking so sad and out of it.” He furrows his brows in concern. “Do you not even realize it yourself?”

You bite your lower lip. You know you’ve been feeling a bit gloomy and really out of it these last few weeks, you just didn’t realize you were blanking out that often – especially in front of YoungHo. And even if you were, you thought you were at least hiding it well. Guess not.

“Alright,” He shifts to sit closer to you, folding his hands in his lap, “Tell me what’s really going on.”

You almost laugh at that because frankly, you don’t know what’s going on yourself. Work’s been the same, you’ve been sleeping alright – not as soundly as normal but getting enough to function – and maybe your diet has been a little cleaner now that you haven’t had any greasy take-out food for the last month, but honestly that’s the biggest recent change you can think of – Jungkook’s absence. Just the thought of him makes your heart twinge. You miss Jungkook’s stupid face so much, the thought of him and his stupid voice and his stupid comments and his stupid presence have had you tossing and turning at night for the past few weeks. Every time your phone rings, every time you crave take-out or come home from work and just want to pass out on the sofa with a movie, you automatically think of him and wonder how he’s doing, if he’s doing okay, if he got enough sleep while pulling his hair out over deadlines – you wonder if he even remembers you exist anymore.

You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut momentarily to block out the pain. “I- I really don’t know, honest.” You admit the half of the truth, because you really aren’ts sure what to make of these thoughts and feelings you have for your best friend yourself. But it’s like YoungHo can read your mind, or maybe, you’re just that easy to read.

“It’s Jungkook, isn’t it?”

Shocked, you look up at him, lips parted to match your expression. “W-what?”

“___, you can’t fool me.” YoungHo sighs again, looking obviously frustrated, but he somehow manages to maintain a level tone, and his eyes look gentle as ever. “Ever since our first date, you haven’t been able to stop talking about him. Jungkook this, Jungkook that – it was never ending. I know you two are best friends and all, but honestly I was shocked when all you would do is talk about your male best friend ninety-five percent of the time even while on a date with another man.” He pauses for a moment, his gaze softening. “Not to mention you just look so down nowadays, I figured it must have something to do with him.”

Your eyes are still saucer-wide as YoungHo searches them carefully, his expression sullen. The way he does it is scarily similar to how Jungkook does it. Maybe this whole time you were wrong and Jungkook was actually the one who could always read you like a book, and not the other way around. But like your best friend, YoungHo seems to find whatever answer he needs as he inhales, the sound a bit shaky, as if to compose himself for what he’s about to say next.

“You love him, don’t you?”

It’s more of a statement than it is a question. In fact, the way he says it makes it sound like it’s so obvious, like hey the sky is blue, dogs are cute, you love Jungkook. It rolls off the tip of his tongue like a cold, hard fact rather than just a mere hypothesis that needs further testing. It shakes you at your core and makes your head spin, and the confusion is simply overwhelming.

It is an obvious fact that you love Jungkook – he’s your best friend, the one who’s been by your side for so many years now and knows you better than anyone else, even more than Hari or your own parents. He knows what makes you tick, and then he knows what really makes you tick and goes the extra length to make sure no one ever gets to that point with you, including himself. He always knows just the words to say to comfort you, or just the joke to crack to lighten up the mood and make you smile. Without fail he’s like your giant Care Bear, just maybe less fuzzy wuzzy up front. He’s dealt with drunk you, post-break-up-crying-over-ice-cream-you, low self confidence you, lost in life you, all the parts of you that you didn’t even want to bother with – Jungkook embraced them all. He’s been the most stable constant in your life. Yet in the past, you never really considered him in a romantic way, mostly due to the awkward start you two had and how long it took to get over that hill. And even after you did, then you started dating your college boyfriend. There was no time to even think about looking at him in that way – so you never did.

But YoungHo’s words ring unmistakably loud and clear in your ears, and suddenly there’s so much pulling and pushing of your emotions happening all at once. It’s like the boulder of sorrow weighing on your heart lightens up only to hang down even heavier now after hearing his words, like a fog has lifted to unveil your true feelings while your heart still runs around in circles, frantically lost, so confused and caught off guard. His words are a real sucker punch to the gut that you didn’t see coming, one that leaves you breathless, because never did you imagine that this would be the issue you would have with Jungkook. Arguing over what to get for take-out? Of course. Bickering over who the better looking person is? All the time. Cussing one another out in Mario Kart? A regular occurrence. But falling in love with your best friend? Never in your dreams.

You clench your hands into fists on top of your thighs. It almost feels like you’re going to cry for some reason, maybe from just feeling overwhelmed by it all. But whether they’d be tears of joy or frustration, you have no clue. It just doesn’t make sense. You can’t just wake up one morning and suddenly love your best friend in a completely different way, it doesn’t work like that. But the more you think about it, the more you realize it didn’t happen overnight – none of this did. No, all those times he let you cry on his shoulder, whether it was because of your college boyfriend or because of a bad grade, all those moments he paused his video games just to talk with you about life, about nothing, til the wee hours of the morning, all those times he fought with you for the last crab rangoon like his life depended on it, only to give in and let you have it in the end – it’s in all these little moments that you didn’t realize you were slowly falling for the boy with the doe eyes, the smart mouth, and a heart of pure gold.

YoungHo is right – you are completely and undeniably in love with Jungkook.

These last four weeks have been hell, missing Jungkook so much more than you ever thought you would. The feeling is ten times worse than that one time junior year, when he went to a music camp for two weeks in the mountains with no phone service or wifi signal. You koala-ed him for nearly a week after he came back and demanded he never lose contact with you for that long ever again. This time is definitely much worse. This time, his absence had been constantly gnawing at you – a bitter, lonely, slow spreading infection eating away at your insides bit by bit, eventually leaving a gaping hole that wouldn’t be easy to patch up. It’s strange because the more time passed without his presence and the more you saw YoungHo’s face instead, the more often Jungkook’s would pop up in your head, as if to torture you even more in your misery. But now it all makes sense why that was happening.

Even in this very moment, you still miss those big, brown, doe eyes of his with all your heart, and the way his nose wrinkles adorably when he laughs or smiles, along with that brilliant smile itself– seriously, when was the last time you even saw the light? You miss the sight of his big hoodie clad figure splayed out on your couch and being able to banter with him and make him snort with the ridiculousness that spews from your mouth, you miss calling him names and immediately getting insulted back. You miss having his head or even his feet on your lap with Hulk playing in the background. You miss him so much, it hurts.

So much that you finally decide that enough is enough.  

“YoungHo,” You begin after who knows how long, your voice sounding more stable now. “I think I- I need to go.” Too busy filtering through the complicated web of thoughts and emotions, you didn’t even notice the way YoungHo’s expression completely changed since the start of the night until now. His expression is soft but there’s a sense of solemn acknowledgment in his eyes, and you can just feel his disappointment, the weight of reality sinking down on his shoulders. But his lips pull up into a somber smile as he stands up from the sofa and watches you follow his motion, your head hung low in shame.

“I’m so sorry, I’m a horrible person,” You blubber, feeling genuinely guilty, “I’m sorry I’ve wasted so much of your time and efforts and that I’m dumb as fuck and didn’t realize this sooner to avoid all this unnecessary misery. But I just want you to know that I had an amazing time hanging out with you. You’re an awesome guy, YoungHo, and I mean no bullshit when I say that I hope we can stay friends.” You find the courage to look up and directly into his eyes, eyes glistening with remorse. “I really mean that with all of my heart.”

He offers you a smile and it’s small, but to your relief, it’s genuine, and that helps to ease the guilt a little. “Whenever you’re craving thin crust, I’m always just a call away.” He cocks his head towards the door, “Now get out of here and stop being miserable already. Go, before I change my mind.”

You stand on your tiptoes to leave a light peck to his cheek, giving his arm a squeeze before you’re out the door, rushing towards the elevators while fumbling around with your phone to call an uber.

Jungkook may be busy and have more important people and things to tend to, but that doesn’t change the fact that that bastard neglected you and your friendship for an entire month now, that just the thought of him still makes your stomach churn with something miserable and painfully empty, though it feels different in the light of these new feelings you’ve discovered. But at this point, your feelings don’t even matter. And screw all of this “normal progression of adult friendships” crap. All you know is that no matter how you feel, no matter how he feels about you, in the end, you just want your best friend back – you need Jungkook back in your life.

- - - - -   

[7:34PM] You: joon

[7:34PM] You: where the hell has jeon been lately?

[7:35PM] You: bugger won’t reply to my texts and i rly need to talk to him

[7:36PM] Joonie: uhh, lately?

[7:36PM] Joonie: at home

[7:37PM] Joonie: playing overwatch

[7:39PM] You: ……

[7:40PM] You: what

[7:40PM] You: the actual

[7:40PM] You: fuck

[7:42PM] Joonie: what?

[7:44PM] You: for the last 4 weeks

[7:44PM] You: i thought he was busy dying over his demos and hanging out w/ soobin

[7:44PM] You: but he’s been ditching me for OVERWATCH?

[7:46PM] Joonie: well he was dying

[7:47PM] Joonie: he just turned in his demos not too long ago

[7:48PM] You: i’m gonna kick his sorry ass

[7:50PM] Joonie: wait

[7:52PM] You: what

[7:53PM] Joonie: you mean you don’t know?

[7:54PM] Joonie: jungkook didn’t tell you?

[7:55PM] You: ugh what now

[7:56PM] Joonie: dude

[7:58PM] Joonie: jungkook and soobin broke up like a month ago

- - - - -   

“Jungkook!” A breathless shout leaves your lips as you barge through your best friend’s bedroom door, flailing it open and simultaneously scaring the living daylights out of the owner of said bedroom. His hunched figure at the desk jumps up and whirls around at the sound of your voice as his headphones slide off one ear haphazardly.

“Holy Widowmaker, yes hi, hello, shit you scared me.” He exhales all in one breath, eyes still enlarged and mouth hanging slightly ajar. Judging by the look of surprise bordering sheer terror on his face, he definitely wasn’t expecting you. But then again, he doesn’t look like he was expecting anyone, really. He’s wearing a black hoodie that’s one size too big for him and matching colored basketball shorts, the oversized hood pulled up over mussed chestnut hair, and it honestly looks like he hasn’t moved to shower, change, or just move at all. But he still somehow looks so good like that, bits of his wavy hair falling into those warm hazelnut eyes, plump lips parted slightly – so unfairly and effortlessly handsome. It’s a mystery how you faced this man for so many years and somehow remained immune to his gorgeous looks alone (well, as long as he was fully clothed).  

“Wow,” You manage to get out between rapid breaths from quite literally running straight to Jungkook’s apartment from YoungHo’s place. You glance at his computer monitor before focusing back on him. “You really are playing Overwatch.”

He tilts his head in confusion. “Uh, why yes, I am?”

The urge to smack him for giving such a lame and frustratingly obvious answer is strong, but since he doesn’t understand the context from which you state this, you decide to spare him from your wrath for the time being, putting away the fists of fury for now as you march over to where he’s sitting in his fancy black and red, almost half cocoon-shaped gaming chair.

“How are you Jungkook? How’ve you been lately?” The questions roll off your tongue icily, eyes narrowing into slits that are meant to be intimidating, but it doesn’t look like it does all that much to Jungkook. From the way his eyes are still bulging out comically, it seems he still hasn’t fully gotten over the shock from your grand entrance as he mumbles a dazed “uh alright, how ‘bout you?” under his breath.

“Oh good, I’m glad, just so glad.” Sarcasm drips from your voice, and it’s hard to keep it from shaking. “And me? Oh well I’m just peachy – feeling fan-fucking-tastic.”

“You sure ‘bout that?” He queries, crinkling his nose in disagreement and looking too cute for his own good, “‘cause you sure as hell don’t sound or look like it.”

“Oh no, really, I’m just dandy!” Hands on your hips, you raise a brow at him and click your tongue once, “I’m just thrilled to see my best friend again after he avoided me for four weeks straight without any solid explanation as to why. It’s nice to see you’re still alive and kicking virtual ass, that’s all.” Slowly slipping his headphones off and setting them besides his mouse on the desk, Jungkook hesitantly rises to his feet, looking guilty, apologetic, but also slightly frustrated as he approaches you. He chooses to stand a few feet away, hands slipping into his pockets as he shifts his gaze to the floor. You can just feel this new barrier separating the two of you, and that realization hurts, especially since you still have no idea why he’s been acting so damn weird around you lately.

His lower lip is caught between his teeth, his eyes flitting around nervously as he contemplates what to say, how to explain the mess that was the last four weeks in order for it to make sense to you. But you’ll wait as long as it takes to hear him out and to resolve this issue. You’ve already waited four weeks, what’s another couple of seconds, minutes, or hours more? What else do you have left to lose?

You decide to help him out, though. You’re not sure it’s the best move to make, but you know it’ll get the job done and get the ball rolling for sure. So you bite the bullet and go for it, your voice much quieter and timid than before.

“How- how have you and Soobin been doing?”

It goes completely silent in the room safe for the almost inaudible sound of breathing and your heart beat pounding against your ear drums; besides that, it’s so quiet you would probably be able to hear a pin drop if one did. A thick tension begins to cloud the air that lies between you two as you wait for him to answer, for him to finally admit that he’s been lying, for him to stop with the bullshit and tell you what’s really going on with him. And after a few more excruciating moments, you begin to see him come around. It starts with how he squeezes his eyes shut and bites down on his lower lip even harder, staying like that for a few moments, the regret so evident in his expression. He knows he’s been caught red handed – that there’s no more escaping this conversation.

“Who told you?” Jungkook finally grits out, a low murmur under his breath as he trains his sights on the floor boards.

“Well, not you, that’s for sure.” You answer, the soft tone of your voice contrasting the sting that accompanies that comment. “Since you weren’t replying to my texts, I asked Namjoon about where the hell you’ve been lately, and he just suddenly dropped the bomb on me.” When all he does is continue to stare at the floor some more, you sigh, trying to cover up the way your lip quivers. You hate this weird awkwardness between you, and you want nothing more than for things to be okay again between you two – it’s driving you absolutely insane.

“What’s been going on these past few weeks, Jungkook?” You push on, silently begging for him to just give in already.

“___, I,” Jungkook stutters, raking a hand through his hair, the movement pushing his hoodie off his head to fully reveal his face. When the dim light from the lamp hits his face, only then do you realize just how haggard he looks. It’s almost like he hasn’t been getting very good sleep, much like yourself this past month. “I’ve just been… really busy.”

“Wrong answer, try again.” You refuse to lose to his stubbornness, not when you’ve come this far, not when things have escalated this much, not when your friendship feels like its dangling on its last fraying thread. He’s stubborn, but you’re a Taurus, and you are hell-bent on getting answers out of him, even if it means just standing there staring at him all night. You need to break down this new all he’s built up against you – it’s all you can think to do to get your best friend back.

Jungkook must sense your unwillingness to back down because he suddenly runs a hand down his face, a heavy sigh resonating from his chest. He knows this is all unavoidable – that now’s the time to lay it all out on the table. So he does, and nothing can prepare you for what he’s about to say.

“I was scared.”

Not expecting that answer at all, your brows furrow together in concern, and you feel your hands itching to just reach out and hold Jungkook, who can’t seem to lift his head and for once just looks so small. “Scared? Of what?”

“I, I thought I had more time,” He peeks out from under his eyelashes, lips forming a grim line, “more time left with you.”

Confusion fills your expression. “You make it sound like I’m dying and only have a few days left to live or something. What do you mean you thought you had more time?”

Jungkook clenches his jaw. It’s obvious that bringing all of his thoughts and feelings to the surface is proving to be a lot harder than it may seem. His hands keep curling into fists and unfurling over and over, the movement full of anxiety and tension. But then to your relief he finally speaks, breaking the silence with his quiet confession.

“For so many years, it’s just been me and you, and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He starts off, voice soft and hesitant. “Even after college, we still somehow made it a routine to see each other at least what, twice a week? And then somehow Fat Fridays became a thing, our thing, and just having you by my side became enough for me. That’s all I ever needed.” His expression twists into one of distress, his brows knitting together, “Then all of a sudden, Hari and Tae convince you to start searching for a boyfriend to help with your quarter life crisis, and before I can even blink, you’re off on your first blind date who ends up being some dude that doesn’t know how to shut up to save his life.” You cringe inwardly at the thought of Date #1, doing your best to not let it show on your face for fear of interrupting Jungkook’s flow. Luckily he doesn’t seem to notice it and continues on, taking a cautious step towards you 

“So what choice did I have left? I didn’t know what to do with myself, so I somehow ended up downloading a couple of those dating apps you were using and made my own profile. And as you know, that’s how I met Soobin.” Jungkook smiles sadly, scoffing quietly to himself. “I – I had to fill the void somehow. And she seemed cool, liked anime, and she was pretty so I figured, why not give it a shot? If you were out there giving all those losers a chance, I might as well do the same.”

“Wait,” You interrupt him, pinching the bridge of your nose in confusion, “so you only dated Soobin because I was dating other guys?” He nods solemnly, shame filling his expression. “But why? Just because you thought I wouldn’t have time for you anymore?” Heart clenching inside your chest, you reach out to take a hold of his hand, “Jeon, you should’ve talked to me about this instead of avoiding me like the plague. You need to know that no matter what, I will always have time for you. You’re my best friend, and there’s no one else I can do Fat Fridays with – there is always time for you in my life.”

“No, that’s not it.” Jungkook interjects quietly, shoulders sagging like the energy is being sapped out of him. The sadness etched in his eyes make your heart sink even further – it makes you afraid to hear the rest of what he has to say.

He inhales deeply, involuntarily tightening his grip on your hand. “I was always afraid it’d happen one day, losing you to another guy. But honestly, I thought I still had time. When your first few online dates flopped, I was so relieved because it still meant I had time left with you. But then,” He exhales, his expression hardening slightly, “this YoungHo guy comes out of nowhere and sweeps you off your feet, makes you laugh and looks at you like he’s hit the jackpot and it just made me feel sick to the stomach. Then he offers to take you home,” Jungkook lets out a short laugh, the sound incredulous and wounded at the edges, “and that was the cherry on top. In that moment, I didn’t care if Soobin was there, I didn’t even care that she was my girlfriend at the time, as horrible as that may sound – all I knew was that some other guy was taking you home, and I just couldn’t take it anymore.”

“It felt like all of my worst nightmares were coming true. You looked like you were so into him, and he looked just as smitten with you, and when he left with you that night, I thought ‘wow, this is it.’” Jungkook closes his eyes briefly in anguish, as if just saying the words themselves is painful for him. “I thought ‘this is how I lose her – this is how I officially run out of time with the one girl I need in my life. I’m such a coward for not saying something sooner, for not taking the risk and just going for it. This – this is it.’”

Jungkook slowly looks up to meet your eyes, watching as tears gather at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over at any second. All this time, your best friend was fighting in a silent battle against his fears and insecurities, and the worst part is that those fears and insecurities involved you. You were so dumb and blind and really had no idea this is what was happening to him this whole time. But it’s all starting to make sense now. Why he was so upset that night at the Sound Bar. Why he was making up excuses to avoid you. Why he’s been hiding for the last month – it was to avoid having this very conversation. He thinks this is the last night he’ll ever have with you.

“That night, I went back to Soobin’s place and man, she let me have it.” Jungkook chuckles, the sound not happy in the least bit. “She was pissed, and rightly so. She told me she didn’t get why I was even dating her in the first place when it was obvious that all I cared about was you.” Giving your hand a gentle squeeze, Jungkook steps closer so that now, finally, his toes line up with yours, his body towering over you and dark eyes searching yours intently, as you take in his scent that smells like home, and it helps to ease the sharp sting in your heart a little. His other hand finds yours so that he’s holding them both, so gently within his palms, thumbs tracing your knuckles gently, affectionately.

“If you don’t get it by now, even after all I’ve said, then you’re a real idiot.” Jungkook jokes lightly, but his muscles are tense and shoulders hang heavily in stark contrast to his words. “But you’re also a moron for not realizing that I’ve been in love with you ever since you kicked my ass in Mario Kart freshman year of college.”

It took you all these years, a quarter-life-crisis, several horrible blind dates, and even a potential boyfriend to get your eyes to finally open and truly see what Jungkook has just confirmed for you. It’s just that when someone is by your side that often, that regularly, it becomes natural to have them there, to have their presence nearby almost at all times and it’s so nice not having to question it. It’s so easy to get comfortable and not consider any other ideas or feelings because why do that when what you’ve got is already so good? Why venture into dangerous territory when life is great in the safe zone? But that’s exactly what Jungkook did. He embraced those very ideas and feelings and kept them bottled up and neatly tucked away all these years, knowing what you two had was so good, knowing it wasn’t worth risking the friendship you two had built up and nurtured over time. He never pushed his feelings onto you, or held you back from anything just because he felt a certain way about you. All he did was stay by your side the entire time, protecting you, silently loving you and figuring out life with you every step of the way. It’s always been Jungkook – it’s always been him.

“You know, you’re gonna need to thank YoungHo after this.” You mutter after a brief and tense silence, a tear escaping to trickle down your cheek.

Jungkook, who still has worry and stress scribbled all over his face, visibly recoils at the sound of the name of the man who was once after your heart as well. “And why would I ever need to do that?”

Not letting another moment go to waste, you suddenly perch up onto the tips of your toes, letting go of Jungkook’s hands to cup his cheeks and press your lips against his. Hands snaking through soft, wavy locks, you press yourself further into his plush petal lips, moving your mouth gently against his as he remains frozen in place. It takes him a few seconds to react, and in those few moments you can imagine what he must look like – shell-shocked doe eyes, eyebrows raised in astonishment because is his best friend really kissing him right now? But then slowly he begins to melt into your touch, brushing against your flesh hesitantly, as if he can’t believe this is all happening, his hands finding the small of your back to pull you flush against his chest. You capture his top lip between the two of yours and gently suckle on it for a moment as if to reassure him that this is real and that it’s all okay now. He seems to take the hint because then he’s suddenly sliding a hand up your sides to cradle your head, lips fervently chasing after yours, tongue swiping at your bottom lip, begging to be let in. With a small moan, you allow him to lick into your mouth, the wet muscle hurriedly fighting for dominance with yours in a way that makes heat pool in your lower abdomen.

You never knew it would feel so right to kiss Jungkook like this, to feel him moan against your skin and graze his warm hands all along the curves of your body. The more accustomed you become to his touch, the more you want him – the more you crave him. But before it can get any more heated, he slows his movements before pulling away, slightly breathless, more strands of hair scattered messily on his forehead to frame his gorgeous face, the stupid stupid face you’ve missed with your entire being.

“Please say it.” Jungkook breathes out, chest rising and falling as he tries to catch his breath, his eyes dark and dripping with want. “Before we move on, before anything else happens I just- I need to hear you say it.” Feeling his hot breaths fan against your skin, onyx eyes fixated on yours, it’s in this moment that you realize you would do anything for this man. That even though he gazes at you like you’ve got galaxies in your eyes, he’s the one who owns every inch of your stubborn and stupidly blind heart. You don’t blame him for wanting, no, needing, solid affirmation after everything he’s been through, after everything the both of you have endured. And you yourself don’t want to hold back any longer either. But despite how overwhelmed you are with emotion, a playful grin twitches at the corners of your lips. Because this is still Jungkook you’re dealing with here – and you plan on dealing with him the way you would any other day.

“I…” You stutter, watching Jungkook’s eyes widen with anticipation as you utter the words he’s been waiting for years to hear.

“I love Park SeoJoon.”

You make the declaration playfully, unable to contain the wide smile that fully spreads across your face. There’s just no other way you could ever imagine this moment playing out. And to your delight, Jungkook growls at this and presses your body tightly against him, causing a laugh to slip past your lips. It feels so euphoric to finally be able to actually laugh and joke like this after spending these past few dismal weeks without your best friend – without the love of your life.

“Don’t make me make you say it.” His threat is empty, and it shows in the way he leans his forehead against yours, eyes crinkled at the corners and twinkling brightly even in the dimly lit room. And the way he looks at you has the words falling from your lips before you can even think to say them.

“I love you, Jeon Jungkook, more than just a friend. I love you so much more than just that.” Your cheeks feel like they’re going to split from how much you’re smiling. “And I’m sorry it took me a whole ninety-eight light years to realize it. I’m the village idiot.”

Jungkook turns his head to snort and you expect him to say something sassy back like he usually does, but instead he just beams with a radiant glow you don’t think you’ve ever seen on him before, or on anyone else, for that matter. He gazes at you like a man who, after endlessly searching far and wide for miles and years on end, has finally met the end of his sufferings and is being rewarded for his hardship – like a man who has finally returned to his home.

Completely satisfied with your answer, Jungkook pulls you back into his embrace, the shape of his lips immediately molding to fit yours. He tastes sweet with a hint of bitter saltiness from the one or two tears that escape as you close your eyes to meet his kiss with your own, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. These are tears of relief and joy – a sign that everything is going to be okay from now on.

Suddenly you jump up and hook your legs around his waist, and he lets out a small grunt from your unexpected attack, but he reacts quickly and catches you with no effort required, his hands immediately finding and supporting your bottom as he leans back in to kiss you, caressing your lips with his own like he just can’t get enough of you.

“Are- are you okay with this?” Jungkook murmurs between kisses, giving your ass a tentative squeeze, to which you just sigh into his lips, giving him a small nod before you reclaim his mouth. With a kiss to match every step he takes, Jungkook carries you to his bed before gingerly laying you back, his lips still attached to yours, only parting to trail kisses along your jaw and up the column of your neck until he finds a sweet spot right behind your ear. The feeling of his lips gently nipping at the sensitive area there has you arching up into his chest, your fingers finding their way under his shirt to stroke up and down the skin of his back in a light, feathery motion.

“You really, really have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” Jungkook whispers against your skin, catching your earlobe between his teeth, “How long I’ve wanted you.”

“Jungkook,” His name comes out in an airy breath, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his hands exploring your body, gently skimming down your sides and eventually lifting the hem of your shirt.

“Mmm, babe.” His hands slip beneath the fabric to caress the skin of your torso just beneath the swell of your breasts, head lifting from the crook of your neck to meet your eyes, a teasing lilt in his voice. “I am allowed to call you that now without getting beaten up, right?”

“Jeon, if you don’t hurry up and strip and get the show on the road already, I’m gonna do more than just beat you up, baby.” You snap jokingly, but it’s impossible to ignore the need and impatience clearly embedded in your voice, your dark pupils blown out and full of lust. You hold back a giggle at how Jungkook’s eyes go saucer wide, a visible confirmation for how he interpreted your words as a flush quickly creeps up his cheeks as well, making him look so cute, it’s almost unbearable. But he immediately shuts down all those thoughts as he rises up to his knees to pull off his hoodie, tight abdominal and pectoral muscles greeting you as he stares down at you, his gaze potent and heavy.

“Holy cheezits.” You exhale, eyes hungrily raking over the honey-glazed skin and the intricate lines that make up the map of his toned body. This time, you have no shame in openly gawking at all the hard work and dedication that has obviously paid off for him as you admire the lean muscles of his shoulders and arms and the way two particular crevices at his hip bones create a sharply defined “V” shape, the lines narrowing and then disappearing beneath the waistband of his shorts. He seems to notice your lack of shame too and chuckles darkly at the sight of your wide eyes drinking him in.

“What, are you hungry or something?” He laughs, and the sound is like music to your ears after not having heard the beautiful sound for so long. “Like, do you really have to bring up food right before I’m about to make you forget everything but my name?”

You suck in a breath and just hold it there at his bold words, words you never thought you’d ever hear him say, especially to you. “Is that a threat or a promise?”

He smiles before bending forward to leave a gentle kiss on your lips. “It’s whatever you want it to be, baby.”

That night, it felt like all hell broke loose, and the truth was finally brought to light. That life changing, very over-delayed night, Jungkook made sure to take his time with you. After several weeks apart and countless years of stuffing his emotions down his own throat, instead of rushing and letting it all end up as one big blur in his memory, he made sure to etch every kiss, every fluttering touch against your warm skin, every breathy moan and call of his name deep into his memory, to fully indulge in your warmth and the weight of your body against his. He teased you slowly with his touch, his mouth, the press of his body, while embedding the feeling of your smooth skin into his finger tips to remember forever, even though he knew he’d have many more opportunities to do so. He let himself come unraveled in front of you as you teased him right back, drawing your name from his lips in sweet low moans as you pleasured him and made his deepest, darkest fantasies come to life. You brought each other to your highs over and over again, kissing, caressing and exploring every single inch of skin available. Countless I love yous were pulled from your lips as he rocked into you, slowing down and then speeding up his pace, bringing you to the edge of your high only to bring you back down,  whispering even sweeter confessions and promises against your skin as you came for him, satiated him, and loved him with your entire existence.

At the wee hours of the morning, the two of you finally spent and tangled up in one another’s arms, breaths and heart beats matching and slowing to a sleepier pace, you pressed light kisses to his bare chest as he tucked your head under his chin, pulling you even closer against him, the feeling so indescribably perfect, like that’s where you have belonged the entire time. And in the few moments of consciousness before sleep took you captive for the night, Jungkook lightly stroking his fingers against your naked back, it dawned on you in that moment that what you’ve been missing the entire time was never an exciting, wild nightlife or having new hobbies to try out all the time. It wasn’t even going on dates or just having any old boyfriend and living life as the other young adults do. You realized that Jungkook’s always been the so called “missing piece” you felt you needed, even though he was always right there in front of your eyes all this time. He was just a piece of your puzzle of life that’s been sitting in the wrong spot – until now. It was him that you needed, and not just his friendship, not just his company, but his everything, Jungkook’s entire being – you just needed Jungkook.

With this in mind, sleep finally claimed you prisoner as you felt one more I love you whispered against your skin, a smile left on your lips as you slowly faded away into unconsciousness.

Being an adult wasn’t turning out to be so bad, not when you have everything you could ever need in your arms – not when you have Jungkook, your everything.

- - - - - 

[Loser’s club group chat]

Hari: ___ where are you?

Hari: why you won’t pick up

Hari: your apartments empty

Hari: AND WE’RE LATE FOR BRUNCHHH

Hari: srsly anyone know where she at?

Tae: let her be bruh, maybe she just got laid or something

Hari: why are you texting me i’m standing right next to you

Hari: and omg wait, could it be?

Yoongs: i can’t believe i had to sleep in the studio last night because of them

Joon: yall know i normally sleep like the dead but not last night holy shit

Tae: omg IT FINALLY HAPPENED

Tae: THE RED SEAAA

Hari: um excuse me

Hari: WHOS THEM???

Joon: PSA – jeon’s a very verbal lover

Joon: and a moaner

Joon: like a LOUD moaner

Hari: JEON??

Hari: LIKE ___ AND JEON??!!?

Hari: OR IS THAT JUST YOUNGHO’S NEW NICKNAME OR SOMETHING??

Hari: IT FINALLY HAPPENED??? WHAT THE FUCK????

Yoongs: seriously took em long enough

Yoongs: been eye fuckin each other for years now

Tae: HALLELUJAH FELIZ NAVIDAD YALL

Joon: so all it took was ___ going on a couple of blind dates huh

Joon: should’ve done this ages ago then

You: uhh

You: good morning everyone

You: i honestly

You: don’t even know what to say

JK: what can i say folks

JK: i tend to leave em speechless ;)

Hari: JOON

Hari: YOONGS

Hari: TAE AND I ARE COMING OVER LEAVE THE DOOR UNLOCKED

Hari: YOU HAVE A SHITTON OF EXPLAINING TO DO MISSY

Tae: don’t worry guys ill stall her

Tae: so you can get dressed and shit

Tae: or don’t. your choice ;)

JK: its all good

JK: ___ still has a lot of explaining to do for me as well

JK: we’re all waiting babe

Hari: BABE?!?!?!

Hari: omg i could cry i never thought i’d live to see this day come

You: ………

You: it’s gonna be a long day

[chaeryybomb]

JUNE COMEBACKS REVIEW

BLACKPINK: HOW YOU LIKE THAT

ngl I’m kinda sad bc a lot of y’all don’t like the song ;-; but I can’t do anything about it since it’s your opinion so

but I hope that people know the difference between hating and giving criticism saying the song sucks and that it’s trash music is straight up music

I can get why people are disappointed with the song since everyone wanted almost the same thing, “jennie getting a rap part”, “jisoo saying blackpink in your area” and a high note from rosé

personally I really like the song, to me it’s not the same as dddd and ktl tbh I think it’s different

plus I kinda expected it to be like that bc their songs usually follow that yg style ya know the only songs I say that don’t follow that stereotypical yg style is “love scenario”, “stay” and AKMU’s songs

i mean if you compare the song with other yg artists song, they all have the same vibe to it because of the “yg style” we always say

the song also gives me nct and skz vibes too, like specifically “punch” and “side effects” bc of the heavy edm and also bc their songs has been called noise before dhshd

but enough of that

I really like how the song starts calmly in the beginning and then it starts to be more aggressive

also I like the fact that each of the girls get a chance to say “how you like that”

lisa’s rap????? y e s

personally I feel like this time it had more of a fairer distribution, including lines and center parts

like jisoo actually gets some center parts in the dance break and chorus

i also really like the outfits this era, especially the modernized hanboks! though I have mix feelings about the pink wig dhshdh

speaking of hair, jennie!! she fucking dyed her hair!!!

and rosé is no longer blonde dhsjdj

the parts I found weird is when rosé says “look up in the sky it’s a bird it’s a plane” i have no idea how that fits in the song so

and the “dumdudurum” part at the end, it sounds out of place, like especially after it the song ends

i also think that this is their best choreography! right next to don’t know what to do

overall, I really like the song, if you don’t it’s fine! hylt has the most aesthetic mv’s I’ve seen and the outfits are so much better and it has been said that BLACKPINK’s old stylist left the company in January no not maeng

lisa’s fur coat outfit reminds me of yeji’s outfit in wannabe

would I say that hylt is their best song? no, I think playing with fire was their best song but it’s not a terrible song either

another I like is jisoo owning this era, say what you want, hylt is Jisoo’s era period.

STRAY KIDS: GOD’S MENU

what even is a concept anymore

we all thought it was going to be some street racer concept

buT NO

it’s a kung fu panda concept dhshdh

felix!!! my baby has lines !!!!

his demonic voice is bACK

hyunjin’s blond hair 😭😭

what the fUCK

the way he tied it up in a ponytail, like sir that is diSRESPECTFUL he really is jaebum’s son huh

okay okay on to the song

it honestly shocked me so much, like the rap parts were so aggressive like and the vocals are kinda angelic???

i really really like the pre-chorus, seungmin’s voice is just so !!!!! i also like seungmin+i.n’s little duet after felix’s part

spEAKING OF FELIX’S PART

“looking like a chef I’m a five star Michelin” bro that part is lowkey demonic looking in the dance

like mans pulled his knees up and put his hands through them while looking directly at you

does that not look demonic to you??? my friend said it reminded her of a spider dhshdhr

also the “dududu” part instantly reminded me of bp’s dddd dhshd like can someone edit a part of bp going “oh wait till I do when I hit you with that” and cuts to skz “DUDUDU”

the fact that no one has done it yet astounishes me

also what the fuck is that chain thing on Chan’s face, who put it there and why dhshd

bless whoever gave changbin dual contacts lens

AND WHO GAVE JEONGIN SLEEVELESS SHIRTS WHO ALLOWED THAT DHSHD

at first I found the choreography a bit funny bc they added like cooking gestures to it dhshd, like stirring the pot in the chorus but my favorite part of the dance is changbin’s part

the entire album was a bop okay, the fact that “god’s menu” wasn’t even the title track and they decided to change it, the fact that jyp has so much TRUST in bang chan also we get to see chan and sana being best friends uwu

“pacemaker” is literally “my pace” 2020 ver dhshd it even has the “nananana” part!

my favorites from the album is “TA”, “blueprint” and “haven”!!

also “easy”,,,, chan what did u do that it can’t be performed in shows

TWICE: MORE & MORE

wow girl groups are really being criticized this month huh

if y’all don’t know what happened with twice, a lot of people are criticizing twice for not singing live during their encore stages

a lot of them are especially going after momo

I’ve watched their encore stages and I don’t know why people are saying they sound bad???? maybe they need a better vocal coach but the fact that people are taking advantages of the situation just to hate on them smh

a n y w a y s

the song definitely gives a whole lot of “dtna” vibes bc of the tropical concept, its like “dtna” but the mature version

if “dance the night away” had an older sister, it would be “more & more”

also I really like the eve & adam concept, “more & more” is also another “creepy”ish song that is hidden behind a catchy tune, like “yes or yes” where ppl think it’s a cute song but the lyrics says otherwise

okay actually writing this out, it’s mv has “dtna” vibe but the song is so much like “yes or yes”

if you read the lyrics, the girls are basically saying that “no matter how hard you try to hide, you’re going to be mine again”

even in dahyun’s rap she says “I’m naturally selfish, I’m sorry if you didn’t know” and “you will fall for me, you can’t say no no”

it’s almost the same as her part in “yes or yes” where she says “there is no letters n and o” dhshdh sorry this becam a whole theory

back the real song review, I’m so glad that momo got a dance break! I think that this is their fairest line distribution yet. jeongyeon got her lines, dubchaeng got their rap parts and momo has a lot of center parts!!

and the girls look so much happier during their promotions especially tzuyu! she was smiling so much, maybe it’s because mina is with them and I’m so happy they get to perform as nine again

i really like their choreography and the part where they do the chest bounce is really satisfying idk why dhsdh

plus jeongyeon got better outfits this era cough feel special era cough

overall, I really like this comeback and it’s nice that nayeon got the high notes this time instead of jihyo

IZ*ONE: SECRET STORY OF THE SWAN

oh boy this is definitely my favorite song of this month

it’s so much different than their other songs!!!

and there’s so much to go on about!

wonyoung, minju, sakura and hyewon literally improved so much. im so proud of them !!!

hyewon, nako and sakua getting to sing the chorus??? y e s

chaeyena rap parts????? y e s

chaeyeon getting a dance break AND a high note???? Y E S

my favorite parts is eunbi+chaewon pre chorus wow I have a thing for pre choruses don’t I dhsh

i will say that this song vies the girls the chance to show how much they’ve improved throughout the eras, especially the j-line and visual line since a lot of people said they didn’t belong in izone

wonyoung and yujin's expressions are really on point as well

and yena's hip move dhshdhs

it's also rlly cute how eunbi throws confetti at her part dhshd

it’s refreshing to see how the girls improved

unfortunately, izone will be disbanding this year ;-; this is why I never liked the produce series

but we do have some ideas what will happen to the members though, we all know yena will be added into everglow, i having a feeling that eunbi and chaeyeon will be debuting as a soloist, they have so much potential plus the radiate chungha energy

nako, hitomi and sakura would most likely return to Japan, although I see sakura staying in korea to pursue an acting career and hitomi as a producer since she wrote some of izone’s songs

yuri might debut as a solo or debut in a new girl group as main vocalists, the same goes for chaewon

i see minju and hyewon going into acting careers and CF contracts, the same as kang mina, especially since minju is now an mc for music core

whereas for wonyoung and yujin, their both still young so I think they’ll finish school before re-debuting in groups plus yujin will be attending sopa

especially wonyoung, we all know that she’s actually really smart and is good at academics, i also think she might do modeling work, she fits the criteria

i also kinda see yujin pursuing an acting career because she will be in the theatre and film department in sopa. unless starship is going to debut a new girl group, I hope that yujin can debut as a soloist instead

WEKI MEKI: OOPSY

*inhales*

LUCY AND LUA FINALLY GETTING THE LINES THEY D E S E R V E D

I’m so happy dhshdhhs

also lua fits the short hairstyle so much, I’ve literally fallen for her help I can’t get up

as much as I love yoojung, it’s nice to see lucy rapping

the song is very catchy, I especially like rina’s part in the second verse of the song

i also love the “wolf & hunter” concept for the album

like the pictures were very beautiful, I also like how they use white for the wolves and black for the hunters, it’s like painting the hunters at the bad guys and the wolves as the good guys

I am in love with Lucy, Lua and Sei’s “nonono” part in the chorus

and the choreography for the chorus too

as much as I love elly’s blue hair, she slays in black hair dhshd I

I really love their outftis this era, i like how it’s all pants for the girls too

my favorite outfits are the black outfits from the gif

overall, this is definitely their fairest line distribution cough tika taka and dazzle dazzle cough

NATURE: GIRLS

this is my second favorite song of the month

I love the whole horror concept and I also like the fact that they released the uncensored version of the mv

it’s give the song much more of the horror vibe

I’m new to Nature and as far as I know, a member is stuck in China and another member sat out due to an injury. please correct me if I’m wrong

the outfits might be simple, but it fits so right with the song, I prefer the white dresses over the black ones

it kinda gives out the feeling that the girls are like asylum patients ya know, whereas the black dresses gives out that the girls are rich daughters that were sent away

I really like LU and Haru’s parts

the dance is also kinda a simple but it looks great!

overall, I hope that Nature will do this concept again, actually I hope to see more groups do this kind of concepts more

WAYV: TURN BACK TIME

did this comeback scare me? yes yes it did

bro the teasers were so scARY

yangyang was literally laughing like a mANIAC

MANS WAS IN AN ASYLUM OKAY

their teasers gave me so much suicide squad vibes

also, why the fuck were 4/7 members not wearing shiRTS

sm do you have a shirt shortage??? I’m sure nctzens are more than happy to donate some shirts to you

okay anyways, I’ve always liked wayv’s sci-fi concept, I don’t know if the mv’s are connected or not but I think they are

“take off” is them basically flying away from earth and they landed in space in “moonwalk” and it seems they have been captured in “turn back time”

very inch resting dhshd

listen, I may be chinese but I can’t understand 70% of the song because of how fast it goES

so with that saying, yANGYANG DID NOT COME TO PLAY

his rap was amazing !!!! he is definitely one of sm’s best rappers along with taeyong and mark

my favorite part is lucas and hendery’s rap parts and then it switches to xiaojun and yangyang + kun, ten and xiaojun getting highnotes

the dance break is so satisfying to watch too

“stop, rewind, turn back time” and “5432” part is so satisfying

also I’m really impressed with how fast LabelV responded when fans pointed out that some of the outfits had offensive phrases in them, they took the time to edit it out of the teasers and the mv, cheers to them

also! i find it funny that wayv released the Korean version of “turn back time” but all of us were much more shocked at the fact that Ten got another cat dhshd

SEVENTEEN: LEFT & RIGHT

first of all, dokyeom looks so gOOD IN THE MV

second of all, vernon and wonwoo’s “hana dul set” will forever be iconic

third, seungcheol is back 😭😭

just like twice, they get to perform as 13 again dhsjdsn

AND THEY LOOK SO HAPPY DURING THIS ERA TOO

LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN WONWOO?? HE’S SUCH A SMILEY BABY with his orange mic dhshd

also if y’all don’t have tiktok, svt has been doing the “left & right” with so many other idols including chungha and apink’s naeun!

haha joshua hong and wen junhui being real disrespectful with those sleeveless shirts

bonus point we got svt x nct china line + mark and joshua interaction at music bank

their choreography looks so fun too dhshd

the entire comeback is so cute and colorful

my favorite parts are vernon and seungcheol’s rap parts

also vernon be rocking that greaser style

their new album is so versatile, like, “fearless”, “left & right”, “kidult” and “my my”?? who’s doing it like seventeen

i love their new songs so much especially “kidult”

overall, I really really love this comeback

WJSN: BUTTERFLY

I couldn’t find a group scene gif pls forgive me

let me say, I am absolutely in love with the concept, the outfit concept for this is so creative, I don’t know if any other groups have done it before but !!

their outfits evovle like a butterfly!!

at first, the outfits were plain pastel colours but they slowly become more detailed and colourful throughout the stages, like a caterpillar to a butterfly!

center yeoreum!!!

and dayoung looks so pretty in short hair 🥺

and again, as far as I know, the Chinese members are in China, two of them are apart of the Chinese group Rocket Girl and I think Chengxiao recently returned to Korea

I really like their ending pose where their hands are in the butterfly gesture and the “wings” are slowly flapping

and how their arms represent their wings during the chorus

by far one of the moor creative comebacks in my opinion

also, it’s nice to hear soobin doing the high note instead of yeonjung, let yeonjung rest her voice once in a while ya know

SUNMI: PPORAPPIPAM

THE QUEEN IS BACKKK

also wonder girls reunion uwu

the teaser gave me so much "barbie: island princess" vibes so the entire mv was not what I expected

at all

the mv literally describes sunmi a lot, she basically does whatever the fuck she wants like when she posted that pic of jyp on instagram dhshdhs

it’s so funny especially the scene where sunmi is wearing the teletubbies head

and at the end when she wakes up and goes back to sleep is just a mood lmao

something about the song really gives me a lot of “siren” vibes but happier???

i really like the way she pronounces “pporappipam” it took me one week to finally pronounced it dhshd

idk why but I really like the instrumental, especially the intro, it’s very melancholic

also she wears converse while performing the song bc she has to step on the dancers at one part !!

speaking of that part, it’s so cool!!! the way she climbs up the dancers like stairs and then she just trust-falls into their arms

[dreamboundedstar]

My Opinion On “Kung Fu Panda: Paws of Destiny”

I decided to make this because I don’t a lot of people really talk about this series and I personally would like more people to know about it so more people can express their opinions on it

I’m going to list my pros and cons and then I’m going to state my overall opinion. There is no specific order for these lists. I’m adding them as soon as they pop into my head

Pros.

1. Po is not the entitled, lazy brat he was in “Legends of Awesomeness”. That alone is something I can gladly say about the show.

2. Sassy grandma panda is a delight.

3. I adore the use of songs with Chinese lyrics when doing montage sequences and one beautiful love song. It’s those little details that make me appreciate a series. Now if only I spoke Mandarin Chinese.

4. I only find 1 out of four of the Panda kids grating (more on that in cons). Nu Hai is my favorite.

5. I think the show has great antagonists, both the comedic and serious ones.

6. Mei Mei is a fabulous drama queen. Even though, I’m a Tipo shipper I’m not as bother with her conversing with Po. I find their interactions hilarious with how uncomfortable she makes him feel.

7. I personally like the use of the Four Constellations because I love Chinese mythology and I don’t mind the show having fantasy elements to it. After all, the first movie’s conflict ended with a magical equivalent of “pull my finger”.

8. The character models are leagues above the previous spinoff show on Nick.

9. I enjoyed binge-watching the whole season. However, I recommend you don’t do it all in one day. I feel it is best to space out the time you watch the episodes. I kind of got tired of the show after watching it all in one day. Then again, I was watching it during a time when I had booked schedule, so I didn’t allow myself breathing time for the show when I should of.

Cons:

No Furious Five and Shifu. I accepted the fact before watching the show that the Furious Five were probably not going to appear. That still doesn’t change the fact that it sucks that the Furious 5 didn’t interact with the Panda kids. I get that Po has to be the main teacher. I’m not asking them to be in all the episodes. I just feel that it would have been nice if the Furious 5 dropped by in one episode, tell the panda kids about their experiences in kung fu lessons, and drop by in the grand finale to help in the final battle. Heck, it would have been so easy to pick which Furious to help which student. Each would have had at least two of the Furious Five that would help them with one thing or another.

Nu Hai: Tigress (by default because she has an action figure of her) and Viper (she would help Nu Hai with flexibility and she is the closest thing to a dragon out of all the Furious Five).

Jing: Tigress (because she’s a tiger, I also feel this could cause a conflict with Nu Hai if Tigress started requiring to spend a little more time with Jing than her. Just something to challenge Nu Hai and Jing’s friendship. I just personally don’t like that in the show they’re best friends, but they don’t really show reasons why besides they’re both girls. Plus, the dragon and tiger are supposed to be rivals. so that would have been great for symbolism), Crane (He could have helped with her issues in confidence in her own abilities) and Mantis (Mantis is sort of the defacto healer of the group and could have helped her with patience about her powers).

Fan Tong: Crane (the closest thing to a phoenix in the group. Crane also could have help Fan Tong with his confidence issues), Viper (she could have helped him with his own bravery problems by talking about her own when she was younger), Tigress (She could have had a moment with Fan Tong that even the most hardcore of creatures can still be scared), and Monkey (I could see them practicing with staffs together to help him hone his skills with a sword).

Bao: Mantis (Given that he got the turtle, Mantis would be perfect in helping him with being patient and more precise. You know, because turtles are slow.), Monkey (He could talk to Bao about being more compassionate to other people and help Bao let go of his entitlement issues.)

Po would obviously still be their main teacher for all of the kids. It just would have been nice for them to drop by and give their own words of wisdom to the kids. Oh well, it didn’t happen so all we can do is just accept it and move on. Who knows, maybe we’ll be able to see them in season two (I won’t hold my breath on that though).

Lastly, Shifu was just as much of an influence on Po as Oogway was and I feel he deserves to be there to help the panda just as much as the dead tortoise. I would also love to see him banter with Mr. Ping and Li Shan as a sort of father ragtag group of friends or something. XD

2. I really could do without the use of modern quotes like “cuteness overload” or “I can’t even” in Ancient China. A character even mentioned pizza in one episode.

3. Bao is leaning towards to being basically LOA Po in child form and I hate it.

4. I can’t stand those cutesy rodents and their high pitched voices. How old are they supposed to be anyway?

5. Giant Spider, Nuff said. I can only suspend my disbelief so much for this show, but I can’t fathom this thing could ever exist in the official canon. At least this is just a noncanon spinoff like LOA.

6. Bunnidharma. I just found him really annoying and oddly designed because we already have a cuter design for rabbits. It doesn’t help that he is voiced by James Sie, Monkey’s VA in LOA.

7. A character mentioned a character called in Ke-Pa in the show. Please leave LOA out this, thank you. I don’t care if it turns out to be a different Ke-Pa, they knew what they were doing!

8. Some episode plots or arcs can be sort of predictable, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad it’s just something that could be improved upon.

Overall, “Kung Fu Panda: Paws of Destiny” is not perfect by any means. I found some things in this show grating when I binged the first season. I think it’s worth watching at least once to get a feel of the series. I personally liked the show and found some moments funny or interesting. My personal favorite scene is a scene with Mr. Ping, a cart, and a pink background.

Although, I won’t lie there will be moments in this show when you’ll probably be thinking how this is definitely something the Furious 5 and Shifu should have witnessed, especially the finale. I still like the show and the characters that already exist in it (except for Bao, Bunnidharma, and those annoying panda cub sized rodents). I only hope that more people will watch the series so we can get a season two. If anything, I just really want season two to happen in hope that maybe Shifu and the Furious 5 will finally make an appearance. If not, I will still in enjoy it for Po.

I hope this post made a difference for you in some way. Stay awesome!

[ratiorae]

On My Own

There is this trend going on Twitter called "My 2012 Moments". So instead of tweeting about it (so mainstream), I'm gonna blog about my 2012 "moments". Actually, they're not so much of "moments" than my memorable experiences/memories. 1. Having to drop everything I loved for PMR and the violin exam. Too painful to talk about. 2. Falling in love with the world of animation. So many animated films and TV shows I can blame this for. Starting with Avatar: The Last Airbender (not the movie) and its new series - The Legend Of Korra (new obsession). Studio Ghibli (the greatest in animation), Disney/Pixar (I'm rewatching the old ones, the new ones suck pretty bad), Dreamworks (How To Train Your Dragon, Kung Fu Panda 2, and RISE OF THE GUARDIANS), 20th Century Fox's Anastasia, Fairy Tail, and Naruto (though I follow the manga more). 3. Continuing my love for Broadway musicals. Spilling over from the last few years, CATS, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat, The Phantom Of The Opera, Hairspray, WICKED, and now, Les Mis. The TV show "SMASH" helped a lot, I can't wait for Bombshell to be an actual musical. 4. Getting obsessed with the Lord of the Rings. Not The Hobbit but the original epic trilogy. The movies, that is. Not the books, I still haven't gotten the 2nd one yet. 5. Running out of Harry Potter related things. Which is why my Harry Potter Tumblrs are either dead or dying. And my fandom base for my fangirl Twitter has changed. 6. Blogging a lot. I now have 13 Tumblrs and 2 blogs, plus 4 active Twitters. 7. Crying in a cinema twice. First time, because I was happy, Rise Of The Guardians. Second time, because Anne Hathaway's performance really touched me, Les Miserables. 8. Church camp. I already have a blog post about this, so I won't say a word. 9. Writing more. Wrote a few more poems, wrote my storylines, wrote a song too! 10. Getting interested in clothes. But still not being able to do much about it, haha. 11. Various disappointments. Lots of setbacks, lots of dreams crushed, the usual. 12. The short-lived Hunger Games obsession. It was fun while it lasted. 13. Growing up. Happy New Year's Eve!

[blog-aydine]

5 Critical Life Lessons You Can Learn From Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda is an animated movie that teaches several interesting life lessons, embedded during a predictable storyline. it's highly entertaining, wiped out a Dream works storybook fashion.

Even though we first watched the movie every week ago, my kids can't stop talking about it.

In the show, the panda, whose name is Po, was chosen by a wise old turtle, Ooguay, because the dragon warrior to defeat the enemy. Unfortunately, Po was an unlikely character for he was fat and clumsy. He was viewed with much scepticism and doubt by his martial-arts teacher, Shifu, and therefore the Furious Five: Tigress, Monkey, Mantis, Viper, and Crane.

The highlight of the show, a minimum of in my opinion, clearly belonged to the varied spouts of wisdom and quotes cleverly delivered by the various characters. Animated or not, wisdom is often found anywhere. All you've got to try to do is look and listen with an open mind.

Here are 5 of the wise sayings that I picked up within the movie:

Living within the Now Uruguay: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow may be a mystery, but today may be a gift. that's why it's called this .”

beat self-doubt

We don’t get to read Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” to find out the importance of this moment. we will simply watch this movie to find out from Ooguay about how necessary it's to abandoning of our past, doubts, and fears if we would like to be happy.

Thoughts of the longer term or baggage of the past deduct your joy within the most vital moment which is now. What matters isn't what went on or what's getting to happen.

Hence, be faithful to what you're doing. Treat each moment as a present and you'll live life fully!

You Can’t Run faraway from Your Destiny

Uruguay: “One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.”

Ever had that tingling sensation that you simply are meant to try to do something else? Perhaps it's a dream that you have had since you were young. Or it's going to just be a recent awakening, like in my case.

I have always thought I might pursue my grand idea of being an accountant or banker. Yes, I know. It seems like an uneventful profession, but the thought of getting an iron rice bowl appealed to me then.

Even once I first started exploring opportunities on the online, making plenty of cash was my first concern. Along the way, someone directed me to observe the key movie on Youtube. Well, the remainder is history.

I never quite thought that I might be writing articles on self-help and private development. I didn’t imagine that I might have an interest during a coaching or healing profession. I’m convinced now that I'm threading on the proper path since I really like what I do passionately. every day of living this purpose feels so right to me intuitively.

Hence, if you discover yourself experiencing that sense of discomfort, that inner knowing that you simply are within the wrong job or a purpose that you got to fulfill, perhaps it's time to ask yourself what your destiny is. curiously enough, regardless of which way you switch, this destiny calls bent you.

Things Happen For A Reason Uruguay: “There are not any accidents.”

If events don't go consistent with your expectations, then learn to prevent fretting over your suffering and misery. Things often happen for a reason. it's going to just be a life lesson that you simply got to take.

As we all know, life isn't a bed of roses. If you are doing not recognize the lesson for what it's, you'll end up continually stuck or attracting more of an equivalent. you're during a vicious circle, unable to interrupt out. Step aside, take notes, and learn from there. Then, you'll end up moving on, becoming a more evolved and better Self.

Your Passion Keeps You Going Tigress: “It is claimed that the Dragon Warrior can choose months without eating, surviving on the dew of one gingko leaf and therefore the energy of the universe.”

Po: “Then I assume my body doesn’t know I’m the Dragon Warrior yet. It’s gonna take tons quite dew, and, uh, universe juice.”

Admittedly, it sounds a touch far fetched – to be ready to survive without eating. But haven’t you experienced several times once you were so absorbed in what you were doing that you simply forgot to eat?

It is true that our passions can keep us alive. Even within the most challenging of times, they need us going.

A friend I came to understand lately shared that her volunteer adds an Aids Organization helped sustained her during a time when she went into depression herself. If not for the patients who needed her and if not for the eagerness to assist others, she wouldn't have survived that period.

You Can Be the foremost Unlikely Hero Po: “There is not any charge for awesomeness – or attractiveness.”

At the guts of the story was a personality with no apparent gifts or talents. He had to fight feelings of low self-esteem and confidence. He had to endure snide remarks by the Furious Five. Plus, he had to undergo rounds of brutal martial arts training, that kept him from eating.

Towards the top, Po unraveled the key of the Dragon scroll from a gathering together with his father. His father had tried to cheer him by telling him the key ingredient of the family’s noodle soup: nothing. Things become special, he explained, because people believe them to be special.

As you almost certainly guessed by now, Po saved the day. He realized that he might be awesome if he chose to believe so. And he was indeed the Dragon Warrior, after all!

What you'll take from the movie, Kung Fu Panda is this:

Take action to satisfy your destiny, albeit initially, you think that you suck.

You just got to believe that you simply are special. And in pursuing your path, you'll just discover that awesomeness or attractiveness is being who you actually are. there's no charge for that!

[strangcrdoctor]

A comprehensive episode-by-episode list of miscellaneous sentence starters based on the single season of the Kolchak: The Night Stalker tv series (1974). 

All starters are verbatim, but pronouns have been adapted for gender neutrality. 

[LONG POST BENEATH THE CUT]

     ➩ E.01 - The Ripper “They wanted to be successful. They should have settled for being alive.” “For reasons I have never been able to understand, they always confused my clever ingenuity with what they called "high-handed lunacy.” “They were interfering! I placed them under citizen’s arrest - that’s my right!” "Okay… What’s the bottom line?” “I’m overwhelmed by the accumulated dumb-ness.” ”Since I last wrote you the person across the street from me has come back. They’re back to their old tricks, prowling around nights in that foolish costume looking right through me with their X-Ray eyes. Can they kill me with their eyes, or will they only make me sterile?” ”They had the perpetrator trapped, treed, and cornered, and they got away. And later, no one could agree on what they saw.” “I don’t trust you, [X]. You’d double-cross your own fairy godmother.” ”I can give you a sack of material, sodden with the tears of humanity - great reference material, four novels in it at the very least.” “You know the sort of junk we do - lurid, sensational. Got any ideas?” “This will stop a love-crazed moose in its tracks.” ”Oh the murderer promised not to kill anyone? That’s great. That’s just great.” “I better tell the psychiatrist to stand by. I think we’ve got a nut that needs certifying.” “For once be a cop instead of an ostrich!” ”Okay, okay, let’s just take this time for example. Now, they have killed three people, they have jumped off of a four story building and survived, they have been hit by an automobile going thirty miles an hour, and they have taken on your crack tact squad in a tooth-and-nail confrontation. Now, do you mean to tell me you’re just going to sit there and tell me that this is just an ordinary person you can go out and arrest?” “You’re sitting on your brains!” ”If you think you were sickened by the murder of that person, just imagine, just think how sickened you’re going to be at your own murder!” ”Is this all I do? Check on weirdos? Well...” “How could you explain it? Who could explain it? Who would believe it?”      ➩ E.02 - The Zombie “What’s the catch?” “No. Absolutely, infinitely, definitely no!” “We had a relationship that was long and bloody, like The Crusades, only without the chivalry.” “You stop a bullet with that cabbage blossom you call a head, don’t expect to ride in one of our ambulances.” “As dead as six ‘44 magnum slugs can make you.” “What did you do to them - pester them to death?” ”Say something sensible? They’ll put me in jail if I open my mouth!” “Well then I envy the dead - at least they’re getting some sleep!” “Yeah they’re foreign alright. [X]’s from hell itself!” “They are dead… but not very.” “Nope, no sicknesses. Though sometimes my back hurts when I hear certain stories…” “Don’t be afraid of this blowhard!” “What’s that crack supposed to mean?” ”Why is my name on their hit list? Oh I ask a lot of questions. Seems like nobody likes that, cops, voodooists, or politicians. Wouldn’t you agree?” “Be my guest… if you’ve got the nerve.”      ➩ E.03 - They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... “I felt people should know about it so they could be prepared when it happened again. If it’s possible to be prepared for something like this.” ”You do not reason with 207 pounds of outraged jammer!” ”Oh, that explains why I don’t remember: I was delirious.” “It’s looks to me like I’m going to take some of that overdue vacation time I’ve got coming.” “If you know what’s good for you you’ll disappear too.” ”Why you look absolutely radiant! Now there’s only one thing that puts that kind of sparkle in someone’s eye. Bologna? Yeah, well. Some call it that. Did you have a nice lunch, a few drinks ahead of time?” ”Don’t hassle technicians! This takes scientific precision, a few seconds off and you get nothing. Which is just what you got - nothing.” ”Are you beginning to make the connection? No? Then I’ll have to start at the beginning with the autopsy of the dead panda.” ”You’re going to suck the marrow out of my bones? That is no inducement for me to come out.” “'Have another seltzer and go home and go to bed,’ they said. I don’t want another seltzer…” ”Have you ever tried to report a UFO sighting?” ”What are you guys firing at? You can’t see anything anyway!” ”Somebody throw a net over them, will you? I think they’re about ready for the rubber room.” “Just don’t be stupid, please!” “What happened? It’s all a point of view really.” “As for me? Well, I haven’t heard from the boys in the sedan… yet.”      ➩ E.04 - The Vampire “That’s the way they’re handling it. All the careful words that aren’t really words and the blank stares…” ”No, no. Not me. I’m in it up to my eyeballs right here.” “Late I am, but a termite inspector I’m not. Though I’ve been known to bug a few people…” “They should meet my boss. They’d turn Buddha into a chain smoker.” “What’s wrong with “nary?” Well, it went out with “methinks.” ”When I brushed my teeth this morning, you were still alive. But then I started shaving, and the whole world ended for you.” ”You need me to lend you my lipstick? Is there something you’d like to talk about?” ”You’re not exactly Marcello Mastroianni, but you don’t hear me crying about it.” "What I saw wasn’t Kung Fu, and it wasn’t chow mein!” ”I’ve got an in-law who’s got a fourteen year old kid they’re always bailing out of juvenile hall, but I’ve go you and you are worse.” “And if they don’t want to go, close their tie in the car door and drag them.” “If you hate to see me go, you’re in the minority.” “Who would go near it? Only a monster, or some fool looking for one.” “It was a local landmark so I had to pay for another one, and I didn’t mind at all. I just couldn’t think of a way to get it on the expense account.” ”They booked me for murder, just like I thought they would.”      ➩ E.05 - The Werewolf “Look, couldn’t I have the flu? Couldn’t you tell them I’m sick?” ”Go! Only don’t let them put you in a wheelchair - you’ll probably start bleeding from the ears!” “They’re coming. They’re coming? Who? The British? The Accountants?” ”Hi, how are you? Hey, put’er there. Good to see you. Hey, let me ask you something. What are you doing here?” ”It’s the usual break-down: 40% divorced, 40% deceased, 10% delightful. Now that’s the difference that we’re interested in, right?” ”Do you do this every time you hear a whistle blow?” ”Hey, I shell out a buck-eighty for a mai tai and I don’t even get half a dance?” ”Next time don’t try to con me - just lay it on me.” “I was down here last night and I saw something absolutely incredible! …Before I blacked out.” ”I’m sure I could jury rig a suitable substitute with some chains and a couple of marlin spikes. Take about fifteen minutes.” ”Getting spliced is not the object, here. Getting your chimes rung is.” “Wait. Let me absorb this. Slowly.” ”Now if you ever need any more blessings we’ll talk about it. You just come on down to my room and we’ll have a little tinky-winky or something. But leave hi-ho silver here.” “If I were you I’d go back to my room, lock the door, stay sober, and remember some more prayers!” “So here the story sits, for good I guess. No one but you or I know the real truth, the real story.”      ➩ E.06 - Firefall “Well they certainly take a dim view of you. It’s okay - they’re rather dimwitted anyway.” ”Be puzzled on your own time!” ”You’ll worry when there’s reason? Well start worrying - there’s reason.” ”A god? Well I didn’t think about that! Maybe they’re starting those fires by hurling thunder bolts.” ”Can we please hold this hysteria down to a fever pitch?” ”They’ve ruled something out. Why don’t they rule something in, that’s all I’m asking! That’s all I want.” ”As I was to be taught once again, there are nicer ways to make a living. Far nicer.” “Books are fine, if you want to know the sociological reasons or a lot of other intellectual double-talk. But there’s nothing like someone with instincts.” “It’s just terrible to be broke and superstitious at the same time.” “There’s a ghost trying to take over my body? Oh great, how charming.” ”I’d be more than happy to loan you some money - no questions asked.” “I need the money today. Today! Otherwise some gentlefolk are going to use my kidneys as kettle drums!” “I’m in your desk because I need your caffeine pills. I’ve been up for fifty-two hours straight and if I nod off, I’m dead.” “You want to help me? Oh that’s terrific! You can come out tonight and help me dig up a body.” ”Grave robbing and body snatching are still punishable crimes, so I had to do them by myself.” “So I think I’ll just spend a nice, good night’s sleep in the slammer.”      ➩ E.07 - The Devil’s Platform “Fearless, independent, and energetic. Why can’t they be like the rest of us? Timid, insecure, and lazy.” “I was young when I started waiting for that elevator, but there’s two things that just can’t be rushed - anyone who’s paid by the hour, and an office building elevator.” ”Have I ever taken advantage of our friendship? Not yet? Well, I’m about to.” “That’s what I love about you - you’re really into the important heart of things.” “Where’s our White Knight? Getting their Charger re-shod?” “You know they’d once planned on entering the priesthood? And then The Inquisition ended and all the fun went out of it for them.” “They looked as calm as a Buddha, a plastic Buddha.” ”Are you trying to tell me you’re concerned about the way you look? Really?” ”You can remember when I always had time for you? I don’t remember ever having time for aimless chatter.” “It’s not technical nonsense you’re worried about - it’s legal technicalities, flack from upstairs. That I understand very well.” “You know how the song goes - different strokes for different folks. Had a check-up recently?” “Satanism. Power Through Witchcraft. You’re not going to be reading these things on into the night, are you? Well, whatever turns you up…” “What’s wrong with this country? Nobody cares. Try to warn them, do they listen? No. Nobody listens. Nobody cares.” ”It’s okay - God will understand... I hope.” “Sometimes if you want a job done right, you just have to foul it up yourself.” “I noticed they were conversing in a downstairs den, so not wanting to disturb them, I looked for the back entrance. There was none. But, where there’s a window, there’s a way.” “Yes, it’s costly. But there’s the old American adage - you get what you pay for.” “A human sacrifice, huh? Uh, well, let me talk it over with my attorney first.”      ➩ E.08 - Bad Medicine “F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote, "The rich are different than you and me.” Sure are. They’ve got more money. But there wasn’t enough money in the world to save some of them.“ "Suicide is a very ugly word, but so is murder!” “Well frankly you don’t have any tact. You don’t have any rapport with society. Just look at yourself!” “I saw it, but I didn’t believe it. And I was sure the police didn’t either.” “I want to tell you and warn you - I only have one throat.” “Why don’t you stay a bit longer in the dark room and develop a personality?” “This is not your usual run-of-the-mill caper.” “I don’t care if they’ve got a trained seal that plays La Paloma on a bicycle horn!” ”I don’t know the difference between a Chippewa and a Chippendale.” “Well then they must be a 24 karat chump!” “Alright, let’s try it from the top. How do you want it this time - in italics, or in Press Book Roman, with expletives deleted?” “Don’t you "aha” me!“ "Yes I’m staying here. I’m camping here because I thought, sometime during a twenty-four hour period, like a moth returns to the flame, that you would return to this office. And the waiting was worth it for what I’m going to tell you.”      ➩ E.09 - The Spanish Moss Murders ”Maybe you have to brush with death before you can really reflect on life, on the people and times that really meant something to you.” “There’s nothing under the sun that I fear as much as I fear dentist appointments.” ”The total value of their wine cellar exceeded the gross national product of Paraguay.” “Everyone must make a living, right?” ”Are you going to give a statement? Or is it going to be the usual down: “No comment?” “What’s happened to you? We used to call you "mad dog.” Where’d all the sweetness and light come from?“ "They looked like they’d been massaged by a bulldozer…” “Holding out? Me? Not a thing.” “You try to be a nice person? How’s that working out?” ”Don’t restrict yourself to talking. Why don’t you bang some pots and pans around? Why don’t you play a trombone solo?” “I’d love to pick you up and drop you right down an elevator shaft!” “The people in group therapy didn’t tell me I was ever going to meet anybody as un-okay as you are!” “Has the heat melted your brain pan?” “You can take your feature series and rotate on it.” “Isn’t this debasing enough without this ass running around here?” ”I don’t have to listen to this poppycock.” “You been buggin’ me, buggin’ me good! You’ve been grating on my nerves!” “Well, all of their dreams, and their nightmares, are over… I hope.” ”Getting any? Huh. As if.” ”But why call it a theory when it’s really a fact?”      ➩ E.10 - The Energy Eater “Now it was dedication time and everything was roses. It was all I could do to stay awake.” ”The bar just closed? That figures.” ”A well-performed autopsy is a joy forever.” “What the hell is that? That’s something that warrants a lot more investigation.” ”I’m going to have to hang up because I’m just not used to that sort of language.” ”Before I say goodbye, could I step in and forget my hat?” ”Are you scared enough to go along with me on an idea?” ”My head is a high visibility asset.” ”I’m a shaman, but I don’t practice it much anymore. Not since we got on Blue Cross.” ”You know what your problem is? You have no time for the amenities.” “You put that thing away or you get a close-up of my foot.” ”I guess it would be too much to hope that you’re finished?” “Any schmo can invent a rabies vaccine, but when will we find a cure for stupidity?” “Oh don’t give me that, friend. You’ve sliced bologna much thicker in your day.” “Have you ever heard such patent blather in your life?” ”Yeah, remind me of that sometime will ya?” “Just rest, and you’ll be out of here before I know it.”      ➩ E.11 - Horror In The Heights ”Whichever way you dress it up, old age is never glamorous nor exciting.” “Son, I’ve seen more dead bodies than you’ve had TV dinners.” “We all have rats, [sir/madam]. You should see the one I work for.” “Well old doesn’t have to be synonymous with senile. Just look at how old you are.” “Bleeding hearts? Me? Where?” “You’re going to throw a few brick bats, are ya? Or is that too rough? Maybe we can just pelt them with a few wet biscuits.” “You’re Richard the Lion-Hearted, Patrick Henry, and Saint Teresa all stuffed into one big pinstripe suit.” “Well, they just died - they were entitled!” “Yeah, you’re no quiz-show host. They make better money than you do. Make better jokes than you do too.” “I think you need to have your marbles examined.” “They tried to come at me with a crossbow.” “You know, in your own quiet way, you’re… Well. Yeah.” “Non-sequiturs are going to drive me into a state institution.” “I value my time. If it is your intention merely to be a music hall wag, please state so.” “Why would they take a shot at you? Well, their actions seem understandable to me, somehow.” “Now just a minute! You may be my superior, but you’re walking on eggs when you talk that way, buster!” “I only got one problem pal - I don’t trust anybody.”      ➩ E.12 - Mr. R.I.N.G. “I don’t know when exactly I was here last. In some ways it seems like I never left, but no, that’s not right. For at least a few days I was away. Far away, at the hands of people with no faces and no names. They broke me down, at least I think that’s what they did... between injections. Memories fade fast enough without chemical help, and if I don’t tell this story now I don’t think I ever will.” “Why are they happy? Well, you’re in trouble.” “Well, here I go, right into the valley of death.” “What do you want me to do, embalm them?” “Do you know in the old days they used to give this task to the lowest forms of animal life in the office? Some things never change. You should take some comfort in that.” “All that you can be sure of is if that lot were working on it, it was a colossal bore.” “But then I heard an opportunity to return to my normal, comfortable pursuit of crime, mayhem, and destruction.” “Hey, why the cream-puff treatment, eh?” “No thank you. I better go take a few lessons in double-talk.” “That’s all great stuff for the professional route, but we’re not there right now, so why don’t we just talk to each other like two grown-up human beings. What do you say?” “I’m leaving now? Ah. Yes, I am.” “You won’t believe what’s been popping today. Now I’m not sure what’s going on, but I have the feeling that it will make Watergate look like a pie-fight.” “They’re putting heat on you, right? It’s bigger than I thought. Terrific.” “Am I satisfied? Of course not.” “This might be a blockbuster, but’s the Federal Government, and it’s my block they’re going to bust!” “If they get harsh with loudmouths then I’ll whisper.” “I don’t know where to begin either. Why don’t we start with nomenclature?” “Let me talk to them. I’ve always had a knack for the folks in uniform.” “Perhaps, when I’m completely back in this world, I won’t believe any of this. But I doubt it.”      ➩ E.13 - Primal Scream “Someone said it was kind of a messy death. Ever seen one that wasn’t?” “Ever try to deal with a giant corporation? They transfer your call here, they transfer it there, they put you on hold, and you’re out in the cold.” “Sure, sure. Their hearts are as big as their profits this year!” “The scientific community is hardly the court of the Borgias.” “Yeah well I called to make an appointment and you put me on hold and by the time you came back and told me to call back my hair had grown down over the receiver. So I came anyway.” “Someday there will be a waiter’s strike and all the large corporations in America will just topple.” “What in the name of all that is good and holy is going on here?” “You see, I’ve got the seniority. I’ve got a lot of experience with baboons…” “Accident? You threw my equipment down and danced the funky chicken all over it. You owe me!” “I mean, that wasn’t J Fred Muggs out there dressed in a tutu and drooling for the public, and playing on a unicycle.” “Put in your voucher and shut up.” ”There’s no precedent for anything that’s happening, so don’t tell me there’s no precedent! Tell me something useful!” ”You might not really want to believe. But you go ahead - you believe.”      ➩ E.14 - The Trevi Collection “They were a dealer, a snitch. A peddler of information. Their clothes were as cheap as their reputation.” “What started out as a mild surprise culminated in stark-raving terror.” ”Why do I want to go up there? Because it’s there.” “You mean there’s a market for that kind of crud?” “You might be able to tie me into a story about the person’s death? Oh terrific!” “Look, some of the people like to date kind of rough types. I don’t know, it’s chic. It’s also kinda kinky.” “You can run but you can’t hide… where have I heard that line before?” “You want the police to come and rough them up? On what charge? Reading slowly in public?” “They act like I’ve got leprosy. Heaven knows I’d be safer at a leper colony.” “Oh no, no. I’ve seen that look before. You get that slack jaw, and your mind drifts off, and you don’t even really hear me.” “Dying and maiming were coming into vogue.” “There’s a couple of people with bent noses that are looking for me.” “Good? It will probably be a best-seller. Most trash is.” “Big business and free speech is what this country is all about, right?” “There is no charge. A nominal contribution will be appreciated… Not that nominal.” “Oh they called you a very filthy word. And I tend to agree with them.” “But in this particular case I would agree with what my mother used to say about chicken soup - it couldn’t hurt.” “You could make me important? How? By killing off all my enemies?” “Just what any person wants - fame, fortune, a Maserati…”      ➩ E.15 - Chopper “Well fortunately for all of us, you’re your own worst enemy.” “You’re going to be the best, eh? I believe it. If you don’t die of hypertension first. Learn to relax, will you?” “You know for something so routine, they have this thing sealed up like a Japanese Imperial Code.” “Yes, they were beheaded. And you could use a trim yourself.” “It’s for my own good? Oh that’s very original.” “I am sane, I am lucid, I am as clear-headed as Walter Cronkite!” “Save the wear and tear on my ears - I’m not releasing any information. Period.” “It was very poorly cut? So are you. We could make some alterations - take in your ears a little.” ”Well they’re all on drugs. I’m not! Who knows what they’re talking about. And I don’t know what’s wrong with you either.” ”Wax! Wax, you idiot! And some good old fashioned elbow grease!” ”It’s inane. Inane, but original!” ”Those were the days? Those were some days, alright.” “Is that what I think they do? I’ve given up trying to figure out what they do! All I know is what has to be done!” “You’re not even fit to be captain of The Rockettes!” “There’s an old simple axiom about the dead - don’t disturb them for any reason at all. I had decided to overlook that.”      ➩ E.16 - Demon In Lace “There’s no law against dropping dead.” ”Do I have a comment? Yeah, but you couldn’t print it.” “Some people dream about retiring. I dream about breaking your face.” ”Ever been in a war? Yeah. A couple of them.” ”One more step and I put a staple right through that neck tie to your backbone.” ”Where have I been all day? Well at the county morgue, for one place.” “You haven’t got a syncopated bone in your body! You walk off-rhythm!” “I’ll sue those seersucker pants right off your can!” ”Another vanishing corpse, and you get excited! Another vanishing corpse!” ”Do you know any Latin? Habeas corpus? Ipso facto? That’s it? Great, so you know Perry Mason Latin!” ”Big contacts, big mouths, big deal!” ”No, no, no, forget it. They’ve got to be exceptionally built, at least an 8. Well, say on a scale of 1 to 10, Mick Jagger in his prime is the only 9 and Quasimodo is a 2.” ”You put a scratch on this and I’ll see to it that you’re ruined.” “If should you ever meet someone that’s just too lovely to be really of this world, just remember, there’s a very good chance they aren’t.”      ➩ E.17 - Legacy Of Terror “Among the philosophers, the great thinkers, and the common joes of this world, no question is more controversial than the truth.” ”Remarkable as it may seem, I can attest that the following events did occur. Whether you believe them to be true, or not.” “They wanted me to help with the buttering-up. I promised I’d show up with a haircut, a new hat, and pressed suit… but I lie a lot.” ”As usual - a day late, and a dollar short.” ”Listen, I’ll call you later. I’ve gotta check out this homicide.” ”I’m full of good questions today? Well. Do you know that you’re full of?” “No, no. No X-Rays, no pictures. Nope. I got things in there I don’t want seen. Dark thoughts, evil plans.” ”I’m fine, you just send the EMTs back to their meat wagon there.” ”Why did I arrive first? Well I wanted to be first in line for a skull fracture.” ”Such a shame. The out-of-towners are going to get the impression that the city is filled with nuts...” ”We met? I don’t remember.” ”Well, see, that’s where you come in. You see, credibility wise, you are a rock. Where my credibility is zilch.” ”As far as having dummies in key staff positions, well. I’m as guilty as the next.” ”Over my dead body. And you, get your body out of my chair.”      ➩ E. 18 - The Knightly Murders “They were good - allegedly great. So what do you say to a living legend? Hi there…” ”Homicide is a very democratic institution.” “You’ve got a quick wit. I like that. It shows a proclivity to cope.” ”There is however one disconcerting wrinkle to that premise.” ”Alright, I can buy that. I can buy a direct question. And I respect you for it.” “Extricating myself from them cost me two hours of precious time, wherein I learned the only thing more maddening than people was certain educated people.” ”I’m an old society friend of theirs. You know, old, uh, Alpha-Beta... over and out.” ”Yes, we’re thinking about brightening up the office. They are going to be replaced by a Boston fern, and you a snapdragon!” “When you’re hot, you’re hot. And as I saw massively un-seemingly related facts coming together, I knew I was at least getting warm.” ”That person? With persistence they might make village idiot.” “I’ve been watching you! For the past few years you’ve been sitting on your laurels, not to mention your brains. You’re lazy!” ”You mean you actually did some work in between yoga classes and book reviews?” “You’re someone who has resorted to lies and chicanery to the point of being pathological.” “In short, I believe your brain has turned to onion dip.” “I wouldn’t give you another piece of information if you held me down and let a pack of rats run through my clothes willy-nilly. Not if you made me drink the oil slick off Lake Michigan would you get anything out of me!” “Just because it sounds strange isn’t any reason for me to go to the lolly-pop factory.”      ➩ E.19 - The Youth Killer ”It all boils down to a simple need.” “What happens then? Magic! Love! …Maybe even friendship.” ”I don’t want a match made, I want an angle!” “Charm, steady work, sincerity. These things don’t count for anything!” ”Oh good, business does come first.” “Well! Where have you been all my life?” ”If Monty Hall can’t liven up a morgue, no one can.” ”That’s the idea! I’m trying to get my identity crisis together. I want to change my image.”  “I got this for you. A pin-wheel for a pin-head.” “It isn’t a shrine - it’s just a morgue.” “I’ve been single for a few years, but I’ve never been that single.” ”You don’t need us. You are very independent. You have the confidence to dress as you like, and I suspect do as you like with everything.” “No rush - I’ve got a hangover that could kill a buffalo.” ”Look, when I said I’m in no hurry, I didn’t mean we should spend the day here.” ”Mayonnaise? An old cure? For what?” ”You don’t need my services? Robert Redford you are all of a sudden?” ”Destroy the temple? Destroy what temple? Come back here!” ”You’ve ruined some very expensive statues. Museum quality. And what did it get you?” “Oh. As a post-script, I’ll offer this bit of advice: should you ever find a ring, no matter how pretty or valuable, consider well before you slip it on your finger. You may never get it off again.”       ➩ E.20 - The Sentry ”Their detractors said their success was owed only their looks and their allure. Their supporters were usually too moon-struck to say anything.” “Everything is routine around here! You’re getting into a rut!” ”You schnook! You idiot!” ”I like you. I really do. I mean I like your style, I like your savoir faire, I like your directness, the way you take over a situation. I even like the way you dress.”  “Preservation through perspicuity was the company motto.” “This recession has got me in a bad mood.” “They’ve got no business connection with nickel - they’re the proverbial bad penny.” ”Only the insane man feels secure!” ”The only things that happen fast around here are accidents.” “How do you know how much my while is worth?” ”Will you just come quietly?” ”Have you ever been maced?” ”Don’t you tell me what to do with my mouth!” ”Aren’t they in prison? No, of course not. They’re on parole. And I have a small job for them.” ”You sucker. You had better learn the tune to that tone dial on the telephone, ‘cause they ain’t never gonna call!” “You know I think all that bicarbonate you’ve been drinking has put bubbles in your brain!” ”Kindness! That sweet young thing is about as kind as an SS Sturmbahnführer!” ”Look, that last problem would have never happened if somebody would have remembered to soundproof the hearse properly. And to put on lipstick! Their wig was crooked, too.” “Congratulations - for shipping purposes, you are now a precision instrument.” ”You know if all the film that I shot that’s been confiscated by the cops were laid end to end I’d have enough film to shoot War & Peace, including a travelogue and a cartoon.” “You do great things for my masculine ego, you know?” “I think [X] has the sense of a tree stump.” “Now are you willing to listen to my insane ideas?”

[custompotato]

(My first one! Ahhh! Im So excited!) Thank you, @lovelylangst, for tagging me!

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people (I dont have 25 people But imma try anyway!!!)

Long ass post.

LAST… [1] drink: Coffee [2] phone call:My mom [3] text message: Sent? My mom. Received?  One of my WoW friends (whom i love) [4] song you listened to: She Keeps Me Up, by Nickleback. [5] time you cried: Last night.

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: I dont think so.  [7] been cheated on: Probably tbh [8] kissed someone and regretted it: Nope. [9] lost someone special: Do... Do pets count?  [10] been depressed: Yes, but I’m getting a lot of help from the fambam  [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope!! Dont drink too much, and I cant remember the last time I threw up involuntarily.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: [12] Dark Blue [13] Orange  [14] Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: Yup! And I’m so, so happy! I love them! [16] fallen out of love: I can’t say I’ve ever romantically *loved* someone, just kinda liked them, and that’s still going strong so. [17] laughed until you cried: ...We do not mention that night. [18] found out someone was talking about you: In what way? Like. meanly? Nicely? I dont think anyone would tbh I kinda suck [19] met someone who changed you: Read: The Fambam.  [20] found out who your true friends are: Uhhhh. Nothing like... Super cataclysmic clued me in?  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: ... I dont think so? My memory of time is pretty shit tbh.

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All but like. 4. [23] do you have any pets: 54: 3 dogs, 8 cats, 3 goats(babies incoming), 12 ducks, 24 chickens, 2 pigs, 1 snake, 1 goose [24] do you want to change your name: Not to anything specific?? I just like using alias [25] what did you do for your last birthday: Do people celebrate those? ;;;; haha... ha. Im a lonely, old gremlin. [26] what time did you wake up: 6:53 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping. [28] name something you cannot wait for: S3 of Voltron, more wonderful angst of any of my favorite characters, happiness without worry, being 18 so i can do shit, retirement, bedtime. [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: 3 seconds ago when I looked over to make sure she didnt know I was on Tumblr. [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My insecurites and general disgust and hatred for life. [31] what are you listening to right now: One of the freaking chickens laying eggs outside. And the pig playing with her food toy.  [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: ... Prob, tbh, but I dont know their names. Only their groceries. [33] something that is getting on your nerves: My family [34] most visited website: Tumblr/Ao3 [35] elementary: Coal Creek [36] high school: (i dont understand the context.) What year im in? last. One i go to? Connections Academy. Favorite year? Junior [37] college: I do intend on going? To Aims [38] hair color: Natural? Brown. Current? Brown with the underside a dark red(really pretty red) [39] long or short hair: Long <3  [40] do you have a crush on someone: No comment... *sweatdrops* [41] what do you like about yourself: Uh... Um... I am the reincarnation of Happy Bunny, as said by my coworker. [42] piercings: A helix. I want my tongue done though [43]blood type: Hell if i know. Red. Prob... kinda salty-sweet, for you vamps out there. I dont taste good but youre welcome to try.  [44] nickname: Carrie/Path [45] relationship status: Single. [46] zodiac sign: Virgo.  [47] pronouns:She/her [48] fav tv show: Too many to list, but current is Voltron [49] tattoos: I wanna get one. Several, really. [50] right or left hand: Right

FIRST… [51] surgery: Idk, maybe? Prob not though.  [52] piercing: Ears [53] best friend: Irl? Ruby/Bo. Online? the Fambam in its entirety. [54] sport: To do? Ick. To watch? Basketball, i guess Favorites to watch/read about: tennis, basketball [55] vacation: Vegas, 7th Grade [56] pair of trainers: Those are shoes right?

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: Nothing! [58] drinking: Nothing! [59] i’m about to: Finish this up, read some langst, and go to work! [60] listening to: Nothing, rn  [61] waiting for: Happiness. And my later doom. Screw work. [62] want: Happiness. And a nap.  [63] get married: Only for tax benefits [64] career: Divorce Lawyer! (dreams of little girls, right?)

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: both. Fight me.  [66] lips or eyes: Eyes, because they dont mock me verbally. Also i can actually draw them so. [67] shorter or taller: I like tall people. I wish I were short.  [68] older or younger: Should I care??? As long as I’m not breaking laws, well. [70] nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach. And arms. Crush me against your nice stomach with your nice arms. [71] sensitive or loud: I am loud to cover up my sensitivity [72] hook up or relationship: ... depends tbh. If i were more confident in my body i would totally lean to hook up though. But also, cuddles are nice? I want cuddles. [73] troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant. I am the most timid potato.

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? Nope! [75] drank hard liquor? Yup! [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? Dont remind me. [77] turned someone down: Yup! [78] sex on first date? Haha. Me? Sex? (im not confident enough for sex. also. No dates) [79] broken someone’s heart? ....If i think really hard and ignore the part of me saying noone could love me like that, I actually... Have? Several times? FML IM SORRY SIT!  [80] had your own heart broken? You cant break what I have already crushed! Haha! [81] been arrested? Almost, but not really.  [82] cried when someone died? Do pets/videogame characters count?? [83] fallen for a friend? ... No comment. (looks away shiftily)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? I thought we established the extreme no-ness of this? [85] miracles? Why should I? They’ll never benefit me. [86] love at first sight? Lust, yes. Love? Doesnt exist. [87] Santa Claus? No. [88] kiss on the first date? Who is the date with?  [89] angels? Nope!

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: Ruby/Bo/Ro/Entirety of Fambam [91] eye color: Brown [92] favorite movie: uhh... Kung Fu Panda 2 I guess.

Tagged peoples:

@moriatake @hubbletuff @redmullets @strifingkind @ghost-toaster @vivelavoltron @rubatosisopossum @kaxpha (you dont know me but I love you) @appsa @baked-mashed-potato @daddyshiro @aquabutterfly @demiquaver @lance-lance-revolution hnnnn how many more to go idont want to just tag random people ahh plz dont hate me, @bext-k because. youre like a queen. we need to know things. @lolygothica bc youre pretty much the reason i have tumblr thank you for all your fake fb posts and texts ilysm, @moroseconcept @prince-lance-of-altea cant wait for the Secret Circle au, ily for that, @sniperlance bc im running out of people and ily too even if we never talked before, @the-blue-artemis at this point half the people here i know from their langst. pretty sure im doing this wrong is it supposed to be just mutuals?!?! okay im done its not 25 people but i cant.. figure out... who else. (Please dont hate me T-T)

[analyticaldragons]

Some Aimless Rambling about HTTYD 2, Featuring a 2-Year-Old First Impressions Review of it, and the Unqualified Thoughts of an Undergrad in Science

Alright, keep in mind that I haven’t seen the TV series, and that this is 2 years old and my first impressions of HTTYD 2 after I walked out of the movie…and that I haven’t seen it at all since then. Still, I’d like to think that it still has some value to it =/

——————–

One thing I noticed was that Astrid, Ruff/Tuff, Snotlout, etc. didn’t have much of a role in the plot. Everything that they did just seems like a sideshow with no conclusion or even aim. Astrid even seemed like she got an intelligence downgrade, with her haring off to find and confront Drago. I get that she has a gung-ho attitude, but she always struck me as a more practical and down-to-earth person than Hiccup - and since it’s been 5 years since the original, I felt that she should have had more of a grasp on that aspect of herself. Venturing into the lair of and then essentially giving away information that Berk was filled with dragons to Drago, who had an armada and was a verified and experienced dragon tamer/hunter was …. not a good idea. I expected better from her. I expected her to be intelligent, capable, and knowing that running unprepared to a leader whose forces are experience dragon capturers was not a very good idea. Eret seemed to be thrown in to be the obligatory “not everyone is as horrible and dedicated as Drago” person in Drago’s armada, but I liked his character arc. The romance gags were, in my opinion, unnecessary. And then there’s the fact that Hiccup basically did everything while the rest of the cast stood by and yelled “Go Hiccup!” or was less than helpful in the case of Astrid and co. The pacing was also off. There was enough information in HTTYD 2 that it could have been a 2 hour, maybe 2hr. 15 minute movie. Instead they pared it down to 1:45, and the pacing suffered as a result. The movie’s plot sped up a lot from the relatively slow beginning and middle. We go from Stoick and Val’s reunion straight to the battle, 10 minutes at most for Stoick’s death and funeral, then rushing to Berk, Berk being destroyed, then Drago’s alpha gets Macross Missile Massacred in the face. There were so many WHAM moments at the ending it took away from the individual impacts of all of them. Stoick’s funeral and death in particular I felt should have been given more time. Hiccup had just lost his father, one of the constants in his life, a person that no matter what kind of disagreements they had, they still had their familial love. It’s a major moment for Hiccup, dealing with the fact that his father died, his best friend was the one to do it, and his dragon-taming abilities were seemingly not all they cracked up to be. Seeing Hiccup just shrug it off and not display any other thought about Stoick’s death for the rest of the movie left me wanting, especially since they took the time to do it in the original. If the scriptwriters had Hiccup’s reaction to Stoick’s death and dealing with his grief and working through the realization that even if his world was shattered, everyone else’s was and he needed to be there to prop them up (maybe catalyzed with Val reminding about “an alpha/chief protects his own”) in between Drago’s assaults on the nest and Berk, it would have given the audience a breather from the action, time to process what the fuck just happened (mind control) and some emotional weight to the story. It’s like Dreamworks didn’t want to be sucked into GRIMDARKDERP ANGST that “darker” sequels often fall prey to that they just passed over it. And the constant preaching about peace with dragons got on my nerves a bit. We all know that Hiccup wants peace and companionship, Dreamworks. Stop trying to shove it down our throats. It’s like DW7 Shu with its BENEVOLENCE.  That’s about all the complaints I have, actually. So onto the compliments. I really liked how the movie made the HTTYD world darker, still had that spot of hope at the same time. Dragon trapping, Drago’s entire “dragon slave army” thing, Stoick fucking dying. But it still had Hiccup and Toothless prevail with the power of their friendship, with the very nice caveat at the end of “The vikings of Berk are peaceful industrious folk, but if you fuck with us and our dragons, we will end you,” which just goes to show that Hiccup and Toothless learned from their lesson and knows that while peace is all well and good, sometimes you have to carry a big, big stick. The contrast between Drago and Hiccup was really nice as well. Drago represented the older generation, with hatred against dragons because of the loss of his arm and what was basically a scourge on the Vikings. He pounded and intimidated them into submission because, to him, they were animals that needed to be destroyed, and when faced with evidence to the contrary, he refused to readjust because he was that buried in his hatred. Hiccup, on the other hand, even though he lost his leg and his mom to dragons and his entire life was dedicated to earning recognition through killing dragons, has the capability and flexibility to forgive and build a new world. It’s kind of like Gundam Unicorn - the old guard is not willing to forget the sins of the past, and was just stuck in the mindset of “Zeon/Feds are EEEVIIILLL,” while the kids are willing to set aside those same sins and having the possibility of making the world a better and more peaceful place. Just replace “Zeon/Feds” with “Dragons/humans” and you’re set. Stoick’s death was the big whammy for me. I was surprised that Dreamworks had the balls to do it, especially in the manner that Stoick died. I knew that at the end, to fulfill Hiccup’s character arc in this movie he would have to realize that he has the potential/has to become the chief, but I expected that Stoick would act as a mentor. Worst case, he gets crippled and Hiccup has to take the reins. But becoming chief like that? Ouch. The only complaint that I have about that, again, is that the director should have paid more attention to it. It also reminds us just why dragons were feared, after pretty much a movie and a half of cuddly pet dragons. Mind-controlled Toothless bent on killing you was scary, in more than one way. The scenery and visuals were great - the island archipelago in the first 20 minutes of the movie was absolutely breathtaking and reminded me a lot of some of the stuff in Kung Fu Panda. The flight scenes were miles better than in the original. Even though I was watching it in 2D (Age of Extinction took up the 3D theater >=T

), every single aerial scene was, simply put, amazing. I just wish I saw it in 3D, personally.

The worldbuilding was spectacular as well. All the new dragon species, the giant map that Hiccup and Toothless was making (how does Hiccup know how far the particular islands are from Berk? Does he have a scale? A sextant?), dragon society (alphas), and the way that Berk had adapted to life among dragons - the races, stables, a complex hangar-like system for doors, etc. It made the entire movie seem like it really was branching out into different and new places that the original one didn’t explore.

Overall I thought this was a worthy sequel of the original. It kept the “fight smarter, not harder” and the “make peace, not war” theme of HTTYD, but hoo boy it got a lot darker than the original. Toothless was still the adorable ball of scaly awesome that he was in the original, and Hiccup and the others all grew up nicely. The movie was dark, but not in a GRIMDERP way. However, there were some things that were off about it, like the pacing and the occasional “it’s a kids movie” thing, but overall it was a good movie. Not on the level of its predecessor or Toy Story ½/3, but I would definitely rewatch it.

9/10

Headcanon is being more and more cemented that Tony Stark is Hiccup’s reincarnation.

Also, Toothless confirmed for the unholy cross between the Avatar and Godzilla. 

——————

Looking back on what I wrote, I’d have to elaborate and add onto some things:

On the subject of Hiccup’s insistence for a peaceful resolution, I’m much more approving of it now. It’s part of his character development over the course of the movie. In the beginning, he’s shirking his responsibilities as the chief’s heir: all he does is wander and explore the Archipelago with Toothless, doing what he wants to do instead of what he has to do. Thing is, his blind idealism is part of that shirking of responsibility. Viking society isn’t soft. There are people who take advantage of their power and cannot be taken away from it, and those who has just as much conviction to their beliefs that Hiccup does towards peace…just that they and Hiccup have mutually exclusive views.

Thing is, Hiccup has encountered enemies like this in the past, and he’s managed to convince them to his side. By the time of HTTYD 2, he’s had nothing but proof that enemies can be turned into friends. For Hiccup, it’s just a matter of talking. It may take a long while, but it’ll do the trick. And without bloodshed, too.

Enter Drago.

Drago is a megalomaniac. Drago believes with all his heart that dragons are an existential threat to Vikings, and if the other chiefs don’t listen to him, well, they’ll be made to. He’s gathered his forces for more than a decade, and hasn’t had a whit of his conviction drained from him.

What does Hiccup do with an enemy who has as much conviction and force of will as he does, just with “dragons are evil and should be exterminated,” and “I want power at all costs”? You can’t reason with an enemy like that. By this point, it’s become a basic ideological conflict, and reason won’t work. Hiccup will have to fight them.

Drago represents the challenge, the realization, the responsibility that sometimes, there is no redemption. There is no second chance. When someone is threatening those you take care of, be it Viking clan or dragon nest, you fight him. Because it is your responsibility to do so. 

This was why Stoick had to die. Hiccup needed to be shocked out of his idealistic mindset of “everyone can kumbaya.” He needed to accept the responsibilities of a leader. Most of all, he needed to acknowledge that he would sometimes need to fight to protect.

Hiccup goes from insisting that every situation has a peaceful resolution, an impossible situation for a leader, to accepting his responsibility, an acknowledging that some people can’t be reasoned with if you don’t want undue harm coming to those you lead.

Also, I’d like to point out that Drago serves as a rather nice dark mirror to Hiccup. He’s literally Dark Hiccup:

The cunning, strategic planning, and exploits weaknesses in his enemies… much like Hiccup exploited the fact that the Red Death wasn’t fireproof on the inside to defeat it.

Drago’s a very successful dragon tamer - by force. Contrast to Hiccup, who gets dragons to follow him by befriending them.

Drago is a very charismatic leader. We’re shown that Hiccup is as well.

They both are connected to Night Furies. Hiccup has one as his partner. Drago killed his and wears its skin as a cape.

They both lost a limb to dragons. Hiccup his left leg, and Drago his right arm. Coincidentally, they’re on opposite sides of the body.

Drago is Hiccup if he was born 20 years earlier and didn’t have his open-mindedness. 

(submitted by bingsu)

[trainerv]

Tagged by @androssety

I love being tagged for stuff!

1: Are you named after someone? 

Yea, my mom. There are currently 3 of us in one house including my niece. Yes, getting the mail sucks.

2: When was the last time you cried?

Sunday when my sister brought over her new pups. I’m tough! Shut up!

3: Do you like your handwriting? 

Absolutely not. It’s awful. I have an entire tag dedicated to it.

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? 

Salsalito Turkey

5: Do you have kids? 

All of my pets, OCs, followers (younger or older) and the entire cast of transformers count, right?

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? 

Nah, I suck at being friends with people. I mean, I could probably chill with me, but not for long. I get tired of socializing real quick.

7: Do you use sarcasm? 

I really try not to, but some people make it so hard. I can’t help it. The sass is embedded in my blood.

8: Do you still have your tonsils? 

Pretty sure I do.

9: Would you bungee jump? 

I would if I had the chance. Believe it or not, I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie.

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Tough choice. Cinnamon/French toast crunch, maybe.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? 

Nah. I tie my shoes once and only once unless they get stuck.

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? 

Physically or emotionally; because it’s yes for one and ‘I try’ for the other.

13: What is your favorite ice cream? Ever, ever? 

Jolly Rancher Push Pops. I don’t know why, but I love them so much.

14: What is the first thing you notice about people?

How they greet me. Working in retail for as long as I have and you learn to pick up a lot of things about a person in how they say ‘hello’.

15: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? 

Probably my back, if anything. It’s messed up pretty bad and makes it hard to work for too long.

16: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? 

I’m wearing plaid boxers and no shoes. It’s like 10pm right now.

17: What are you listening to right now? 

This rain and thunder simulator thing while I try not to listen to the Hamilton soundtrack again. There are a bunch of other sounds on this site if you just need to background ambiance. 

18: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? 

I looked up funny color names and I want to be Mango Tango.

19: Favorite smell? 

Lavender and Vanila

20: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? 

My boss to tell him I was gonna be out last Monday.

21: Favorite sport to watch? 

Not a sports fan. Baseball if anything, but…

22: Hair color?

Dark brown (though barely there)

23: Eye color? 

Medium brown.

24: Do you wear contacts? 

No. I ain’t sticking things in my eyes.

25: Favorite food to eat? 

Pizza.

26: Scary movies or comedy? 

Depends on my mood, though comedy movies tend to be better than scary movies.

27: Last movie you watched? 

Kung Fu Panda 2. Love that movie so much.

28: What color of shirt are you wearing? 

White with some blue.

29: Summer or winter?

I hate both. I can’t stand being cold and if I get too hot, I have to deal with sleep paralysis.

30: Hugs or kisses? 

Hugs. I don’t like physical contact.

31: What book are you currently reading? 

None, sadly. Can’t afford any.

33: What is on your mouse pad? 

Don’t have a mouse pad.

34: What is the last TV program you watched? 

My little pony with my niece. I don’t care for the show, but I can tolerate it.

35: What is the best sound? 

Heavy rain and thunder.

36: Rolling stones or The Beatles?

Confession time: I don’t listen to music a whole lot, so I don’t care all that much for either.

37: What is the furthest you have ever traveled?

From New York to Florida. I did it all the time as a kid to visit my great grandparents. I got attacked by ants and saw an alligator from a bridge last I remember.

38: Do you have a special talent?

I can pull my left arm all the way behind my head. It freaks my brother out.

39: Where were you born?

Bronx, New York

I tag... anyone with a fictional characters as their icon. 

[thebluesideofthemoon]

The Wall #49: SHEEP AND WOLVES

Welcome everybody to another entry of The Wall. On this week... your mom! Heh. Oh, I wish- I'm sure she's a wonderful lady. I said I was going to review Batman v. Superman but... eh, I then kind of lost interest and heat after a while- besides, the movie still sucks balls, so it's not like anything's changed. No, this week's review takes us on another stop of our international animated tour- Russia! The big mother of all cold herself, Mother Russia blessed us with this animated outing that was so good that it didn't get imported to the States. "Why might that be?" you're probably asking yourself, well I'll answer that right now: ... I HAVE NO IDEA! Maybe it was some sort of communication error (which wouldn't make sense as this movie has a fully dubbed English version, so... I 'unno), maybe they changed their minds at the last minute, or maybe because it's so mind-meltingly awful that they pulled the plug on its release before the studio would embarrass itself. Considering my last review it may be easy to assume that anything I would review afterwards would automatically be less positive. That may be true, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have good things to say about it- hell, last week I saw one of my favorite movies this year (which I'll review later), and I've been itching to gush about it here. But no, I'm going to talk about Sheep and Wolves instead because, what better way to transition into my Worst Movies of 2016 by going from one of the best animated movies of the year to one of the absolute worst? Let's dive in, why don't we~?

(Music: Undertale- CORE)

I don't mean to be disrespectful, I like to think I'm a nice person and I will give anyone a chance, unless you’re Zack Snyder, or David S. Goyer, or Warner Bros., in which case you can piss off any day now. So when I write the things I’m going to write, I don’t mean this as just me trying to be mean, but as a way to try and help a small studio like the one that made this movie understand why your product doesn’t work, so I will try to be as cold and clinical as I can to explain just what is wrong with this movie. But first the plot, and you might want to sit down for this one.

In this movie we have a wolf named Grey (voiced by Tom Felton. Yes, THAT Tom Felton) who is a goofy but kind wolf who wants to live life as a carefree spirit, that is until he crosses the path of a big bad wolf named Ragear (voiced by Rich Orlow, whom I’ve never heard of) who is adamant to become the new leader of their wolf pack since their current leader Magra (voiced by Jim Cummings. Yes, THAT one, too.). However, Ragear gets shut down by Magra by telling him that he will not be ascended to be leader of the pack unless he faces off in a duel with another wolf, who just so happens to be Grey. Grey steps up to the challenge and they’re due to fight in three days to see who is more fit to run the wolf pack. Meanwhile, Grey faces a bit of problem when a surprise he had planned turns out to dash the dreams of his girlfriend, Bianca (voiced by Ruby Rose. Yes, THAT- I’m not going to keep this gag going or we’ll be here all day), who thought Grey was going to ask for her hand (paw?) in marriage. She accuses him of being very immature and in desperate need of change. Trying to find a way to change, Grey stumbles into this caravan full of gypsies and he talks to their leader(?) named Mami (I don’t know who she’s voiced by) who gives Grey this potion to help him change, but things go south when Grey gets turned into a sheep and is not only unwelcome, but hunted down by the wolves due to sheep being their prey. So he runs away and ends up getting knocked out, only to wake up in the sheep village. He’s being taken care of by an ewe named Lyra (China Anne McClain), while being suspected of by this skeptic sheep named Zico (Ross Maraquand) who questions his whereabouts and goes on to find clues about this new mysterious sheep that just showed up in their home. Grey believes that he’s in a bad dream but then decides to blend in once he starts meeting the sheep folk. Meanwhile, Ragear becomes impatient by Magra and his ban to keep them from hunting prey like wolves (which for this universe doesn’t really make much sense), so instead of waiting for his duel like Magra ordered, he just kills Magra and ends up taking the position as the wolves’ leader and wants to lead the wolves to hunt for the sheep so they can eat… well, like wolves. Grey discovers this and now wants to protect the sheep from this possible massacre, while it becomes hard for him to keep his true identity intact with his new kin. How will all of this be resolved?

I don’t take this long trying to give a simple plot synopsis, but I wanted to break down this entire setup to give you a hint as to what’s wrong with this movie. If you want me to sum this movie up really quickly it’s just yet another “fish out of water” story, and with a twist that isn’t even that unique to this kind of movie. The movie is a bizarre combination of both Shrek 2 and Brother Bear in terms of plot, but it’s nowhere near as funny as the former, nor (while flawed) as engaging as the latter, and while I have serious problems with Brother Bear I can tell you it pulled this story off a LOT better than Sheep and Wolves.

Since I’m going to dip into my issues with this movie (which is a LOT of them) I may as well get my positives with the movie out of the way, because they’re very minimal- it’s actually just one: the movie is really pretty. While it’s pretty obvious that this is a low-budget movie thanks to the very small amount of environments featured in the movie, not to mention that just like Sing it shamelessly copy-and-pastes characters and shots everywhere, the scenery of the movie actually manages to be pretty stunning. I like how the environments look, they’re vividly-detailed, very colorful, and the lighting also manages to look really good, especially when they stand out against things like grass or the fur on the wolves. The animation itself is also not bad. It’s far more lively than something like, say, Ratchet and Clank, and it has an art style that suits the animation better than a movie like The Wild Life. Even though I have HUGE issues with the character design, they managed to make a really appealing-looking movie and I do think that’s something that deserves some serious credit. It’s obvious to me that the people working on this movie have some good talent in their hands, and I’m saying this because I stop being nice right here. Because the problems with this movie are far too many for me to recommend this as something anyone reading this should watch.

Let’s start with the character designs. While the general look of the movie is really appealing and colorful, the actual designs of the characters leave a lot to be desired. There’s no real better way for me to say this, but the characters all look like how a middle-school furry artist would draw his furry wolf OCs (original characters, for those of you that don’t know) when first starting on DeviantART. They’re far more humanoid than anthropomorphic, which really stands out with characters that have more stylized and cartoony designs. It’s almost as if the characters were all designed by completely different artists, however this is an approach that worked in its favor in a movie like Secret Life of Pets, but here they stick out like a sore thumb. All the wolves are top-heavy and just look ridiculous when they run on all fours. I also had this same problem with Alpha and Omega six years ago (funny how they’re both movies about wolves), but the hair is really off-putting. Most of the wolves have pretty much anime hairstyles which just look distracting and out of place. This is really noticeable on a character like Bianca who basically looks like a human chick that just so happens to be cosplaying as a wolf. With the sheep this gets even more bizarre, as there are sheep who clearly look like anthropomorphized sheep, standing right next to sheep that have more human-like features that are kind of distracting, NEXT to other sheep who just look like they’re a human and sheep that probably fused together like in The Fly. Again, it’s highly distracting because they’re not anthropomorphic like the characters from Sing or Zootopia, and yet they’re also not animal enough to be like the animals from The Secret Life of Pets or even The Wild Life. It’s like they’re stuck in this strange uncanny valley of anthropomorphism and it’s kind of off-putting to watch. Mami is the only one who manages to make this work, though it probably helps that she’s hardly in the movie. Grey looks alright by all standards, except for his dumb Emo Peter Parker haircut.

From what I’m sure you can gather I’ve said about the story, it’s pretty much also copied and pasted from… anywhere else. It combines traits of Shrek 2, Brother Bear, The Lion King, too many romantic comedies to count, Kung Fu Panda 3, Shark Tale (another disaster full of clichés and off-putting character design)- it borrows so liberally from other movies that it even borrows their flaws as well. Shark Tale needs no explanation, it has the dopey character who is in love but cannot spit it out because God help him “he’s just awkward” (oh please), it also borrows a problem unique to a movie I reviewed not too long ago, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie, in which it is full of really annoying cartoony sound effects that get really, really fast. By the way, I said this movie ripped off The Lion King (why on Earth do we have TWO animated movies that came out in 2016 that thought this was a good idea?) and it does so in the Magra’s death scene. Ragear shoves him off the cliff in a way that’s not too dissimilar to Scar throwing Mufasa into the wildebeests. It doesn’t help that both just so happen to have a character voiced by Jim Cummings, which makes the resemblance even more obvious.

Though speaking of terrible sounds, the voice acting isn’t that great. I mean sure, you have people like Jim Cummings who would sound awesome if they even just read the phonebook, but much like Morgan Freeman in Ben-Hur, he’s not doing anything new. Tom Felton… I have NO idea what the hell he’s doing, it’s like he’s trying to sound American and fail horribly at it, but he’s at least trying. Ruby Rose just straight up did not care about this movie at all, she could not sound any more disinterested if she tried, which isn’t only a serious problem because it just sounds bad it also makes her character come across as really uncaring and self-centered, which becomes a MAJOR problem thanks to one particular scene from the movie that I’ll get to. Believe me, I will. Still, this is pretty bad- it’s almost as if the voice actors weren’t allowed to be given a second take or something like that.

But what’s even worse than the voice acting is the score. I’ve complimented good scores before and lambasted bad ones like Accidental Love, for example. It had a score that was highly annoying, bouncy, and would never shut up. It was trying to be a “whacky, silly” score that instead of trying to get you to laugh it only made you cringe. So yes, an overly-goofy score is one issue but thanks to this movie the opposite is also true. This movie has a score that is far more surprisingly dramatic and intense than you would think which gives me the impression that this movie is really trying to get me to take it seriously… and this is the same movie that has a Rocky-style montage of a character trying to give themselves a concussion. AND FAILING AT IT. Sure, that’s meant to be the joke, but this is much less justifiable in countless scenes of something dramatic happening only for it to get cut-off by some awkwardly-inserted comic relief. Oh God, it’s like Epic all over again.

The absolute worst part about this movie is the characters. I’m not going to spend much time on them because I could write an entire essay on just what’s wrong with this cast, and this review is getting really long as it is. So I’ll say this, they vary from being really stupid, to being really annoying, to all-around unpleasant. Grey is kind of a goofball, but other than that he’s just your generic main character and he’s one of the better characters. His best friend sheep who is lovestruck cannot say a word to her about his feelings to save his life, which is not just an awful cliché in and of itself, but his voice is really annoying and her never shuts up. The big bad Ragear is clumsy and gets beaten up a lot, so it’s pretty much impossible to take him seriously as a credible threat and the only time he succeeds at anything it’s simply because the plot just felt like it needed to keep going. Lyra is your generic “nice girl” type who pretty much has no personality aside from, well, being nice, except for one particular scene where she chews out Grey for giving her little brother, Shia, the influence to have him run off from the sheep village to fight off wolves himself, and this happened AFTER Grey saves his life as well as a scene in the movie where she scolds her little brother for being an irresponsible little shit who doesn’t listen to anybody. And Shia, oh I despise him. Not only does he have a really annoying voice and attitude, he’s one of those characters that should have died far sooner than he does (which is never- spoiler alert) because he does anything BUT listen to someone who’s trying to do nothing but HELP HIM. He’s by far one of the most irritating characters I’ve seen in any movie this year- he’s up there with Steel from Max Steel, The Enchantress from Suicide Squad, the Colleens from Yoga Hosers, and pretty much EVERYONE in Collateral Beauty- and it doesn’t help that he gives a really awful message at the end of the movie which pretty much amounts to him saying that you shouldn’t kill someone because it will make you just as bad as they are, which is normally a message that has a lot of weight to it, but when the person who is trying to kill you is DOING EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO TRY AND EAT YOU, and you fight back in self-defense!

I also mentioned Bianca, and out of all of the bad animated movies with forced-in love interests she’s by far the worst. Now, she’s at least thankfully not forced into a relationship with Grey (they already have one at the start of the movie) and the way his little problem is resolved isn’t by true love (but it’s not less dumb). The reason why I hate Bianca the most is because of one particular scene where she pretty much ACCUSES GREY OF CAUSING RAGEAR FROM KILLING MAGRA AND MAKING HIM THE NEW LEADER, and all because he was trying to change himself to prove to her that he’s not an immature clown. It’s somehow all HIS fault, and at no point does she ever get called out on being a colossal bitch. Though Grey DOES call out the sheep for being whiny, pathetic, and annoying, it doesn’t really leave a very satisfying impact when it’s ruined by the scenes that precede and follow it. I HATE EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE. This movie was just like Collateral Beauty all over again- I really thought I was going to be in for something bland, but not THIS annoying and unpleasant. I really hate this movie, thanks to its combination of terrible tonal shifts, bland story, irredeemable cast of characters, and ho-hum voice acting. It’s easy to see why this movie never made it to the States. (2,541 words. Can't believe this one took me almost a week to write, but I needed to get my thoughts collected so I could express just what the hell was wrong with this movie.)

This is a really foul movie. I don't really get this kind of enjoyment out of something that fills me with dread and hatred- I would much rather be talking about things I really love, like Zootopia, but this is the kind of movie that is not only so bad that it's wasted your time, but it'll ruin your day!

Yes, I give this movie a 2. And how appropriate because now I can make more room for my best big project. That's right guys, The Wall #50 is going to be... THE TOP 10 WORST MOVIES OF 2016 I'll see you all there.

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Fanfc Writer Game

Tagged by: @wiz-witch

How Would You Describe Your Fanfic Style?

An odd combo of fix-it fics, AUs, and a hint of “You see Media A? I’m gonna combine it with Media B and how it doesn’t suck.”

What Tropes Would You Never Use?

I try and keep most of the gross out stuff out of my writing. Excessive vomiting, gross descriptions of something bodily, that kind of thing. Mainly because that kind of stuff bugs me. I also refuse to write, how do I censor this... certain relationships between family memebers or people of a certain age groups that would not be accepted in society for absolutely valid reasons.

I also have this weird thing to where I can either allude to character death but I’m uncomfortable writing the act of it. Unless they’re no blood involved. Basically I follow CN censor rules--if there’s no blood or it’s offscreen, I’m ok with it!

Also I will never write smut. I just don’t really like it. I’ll allude to it. BUt never write it.

What Tropes Do You Always Use?

“Kids knowing more than adults and saving the day by being amazing badasses but the adults aren’t useless and help the kids too, it’s just their distraced by adult problems like relationships, bills, trauma, and provind for themselves and possibly the kids.”

“Pure of heart, dumb of ass”

And as of recently, a healthy dose of  G A Y N E S S

Where Do You Write?

Mostly in my living room. Occassionally in my kitchen, but mostly my living room.

How Many Names Do You Write Under? Why?

It’s just this one name across two major platforms (ff.net and Ao3). It was originally Smiles1998, but I felt the name was a bit too childish for who I was now and what I was writing, so I changed it to this.

As for why? I’ve never had a reason to go by any other name.

What’s Your Usual Rating Level?

T for Teen. I haven’t really worked my way up to writing anything M rated yet. Occassionally the PG rating will slip in. But mostly T.

First Fandom You Wrote For?

Total Drama and Kung Fu Panda... I feel like my age is showing here... and my cringe...

How Long Did You Read Fics Before Writing Them?

I read fanfiction before I really knew what it was... but I guess maybe a year or two before really started writing them? Idk, it’s been a long time.

Do you usually write chapter fics or one shots?

Mostly chapter fics. Maybe the occasinal one-shot but it’s usually set within a bigger universe.

Fandoms:

Too many to really list, but I’ll mention the ones I have writings for:

Milo Murphy’s Law, Ducktales, Epithet Erased, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Infinity Train, Bendy and the Ink Machine, MCU, and a larger Musical based one that’s still a work in progress. 

Tagging: @thenonehater @sockpansy and @entitiy-4