#Herpo the Oblivious/Foul

[reviewae]

H2W Reactions (SPOILER ALERT) Chapter 14:Hands On Approach

(Disclaimer: any excerpts taken and posted here do not belong to me, only the reactions do. All the excerpts belong to the great, great Olivieblake.

So I was going to do the reactions last Sunday itself but I saw olivie’s post that she would not be posting a chapter this week so, to help myself from succumbing into dramione withdrawal, I did the reactions a week late.

"But that man is my father," Daisy reminded him bitterly. "And seeing as I've already told you who's responsible - "  I feel really bad for her, actually. They should have torture Emmett or something, not outright kill him. Daisy reminds me a lot of Harry too y’know.

"Miss Carnegie," President MacArthur sighed, "as relieved as I would be for any explanation absolving my own Head Auror from guilt, the story that someone kidnapped you from your home, restrained you in your own office, and then murdered a famously well-respected man for conceivably no reason is not one that anyone's going to believe. Particularly not if the party responsible was, as you claim - " he paused, grimacing, to pick up her report file. "Nicholas Flamel, the alchemist who was born in the fourteenth century," the president muttered, and Hermione winced at the obvious skepticism in his tone as he shook his head, displeased. "Surely even you know this is not a promising alibi, Miss Carnegie." Spoken like -every politician who’s gotten his hands tied- ever. Though now that you think about it, Nicholas Flamel being alive does sound far-fetched. The fact that these people don’t believe them obviously means that these kids definitely are going to stir up some shit on their own.

"Wait a minute," Hermione interrupted, but Harry, who had been standing with his hand curled warily his mouth, promptly yanked her back. Was she always this vocal? I mean, yeah she’s a Gryffindor and all...but she’s like too impulsive. Even Harry knows that he needs to stfu and back off. And honey Harry, I’m still mad at you. So watch it.

"President MacArthur," he attempted, stepping forward, "surely you've considered that these enchantments might have been tampered with. Having worked with Auror Carnegie extensively, I assure you that I can vouch for her character, and - " Honey, you’re no smooth talker either.I think you should let Draco talk. Actually, no. His sarcasm will blow the guy’s head up.

"Let me guess," Draco ventured, his tone effortlessly dry. "The files are missing." Fucking obviously. This, is turning into a fucking nightmare of an investigation. But I really wanna see daisy go rogue. And Draco and Hermione to help her. But that would be too cliché so I am assuming not.

"Auror Potter, you may have rid the world of Voldemort, but that feat alone doesn't elevate your word beyond suspicion," President MacArthur cut in, his voice clipped. Finally a person who doesn’t worship the ground he walks on. No offense, but the guy’s right. Harry may have saved them all, but that doesn’t mean his word’s god. I’m pretty sure Harry’s feeling disgruntled and his brain’s going, “Touché.”

"I still don't know why you're here, Miss Granger, but believe me, this brings me no pleasure," he said flatly. “and that is only the case because Auror Potter has arrived - completely uninvited," he added drily, This guy is  so no-nonsense types, he reminds me of Professor Mcgonagall, but he’s also getting on my nerves.

"Aubrey's already submitted an addendum to his initial reports, saying - "He trailed off, and Daisy clenched a fist."Saying what?" she demanded, and the president grimaced."Expressing doubt," he offered, clearing his throat. "In your - "He stopped again, and Daisy's mouth tightened, furious."In my leadership?" she prompted angrily, and the president shook his head."In your innocence," he admitted, flinching apprehensively, and Daisy's eyes widened, opening and closing her mouth on a disbelieving lack of defense until Harry stepped forward to place his hand on her shoulder, his expression grim. Okay, this fucker Aubrey needs to be put into his place. Does he not know not to bring playground rivalries to the big leagues. Motherfucker. (I have adopted Daisy Carnegie cause she’s got two no good parents who have featured for barely 2 scenes in the entire duration of this fic and my sunshine and flowers needs someone to look over her.)

"Why we were - " She stopped, blinking, as she realized she'd forgotten altogether that their presence had been inexplicably erased. "Oh, my god -Like seriously gurl? You are a fucking war heroine. Pay some damn attention instead of just calling out other people’s bullshit.(I’m sorry, I’m just pms-ing and its horrible and there’s no hot chocolate and Hermione’s just getting on my nerves!!!)

"Anybody from all of time! What if nobody's dead?" she pressed frantically, tearing back and forth across the marble of the chamber floor. "What if literally nobody has ever died, ever, and anyone we know, including my - my granny," she sputtered, "is out there trying to murder us?!" Okay I’m pretty sure this is just the hormones speaking. Dang it, should’ve made Harry wait before he barged in. Now all the sexual frustration is making her brain short-circuit.

"How can you joke?" she demanded, and then let out another harsh cry of frustration, resting her forehead brusquely against his shoulder this time and beginning to wonder if either crying or vomiting would help. "I just - " she stammered. "Everything is - it's just so - "  Okay the only thing I am paying attention to is the fact they have initiated physical contact and Houston we DON’T have a problem so just go go go!!!

"You can't fix everything that's broken, Granger," Draco told her, shaking his head. "Don't you know that by now?"  Ha. I’m pretty sure she’s going to take that as a metaphor for him. Him accepting that, I am not so sure about it.

"Does everything have to be a metaphor?" he demanded. "No, Granger, I'm just saying you can't fix everything. Some things just can't be fixed.""But you mean you," she said. "Right?""No," he growled. "I'm fine, Granger - ""No, actually, you're not," she retorted, scowling at him. "You're doing terribly. You're a mess." Called it. Does this lead to angry sex? Please please please *crosses fingers, sacrifices goats and right hand, joins a cult*

"No. No," he said forcefully, staring down at her. "I told you I was sorry. I meant that. I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry about everything that I was, to you and to the rest of the world. I'm fucking sorry, Granger," he repeated, his voice mechanical and stiff, "but what good does that do me?""Malfoy," she sighed, "let's not do this, okay? I shouldn't have said anything.""No, you shouldn't have," he agreed, "but you did, so we're doing it. We're doing this right now," he half-shouted, "because you started it!" Sigh. My trash babies. Normally I would have been waiting to barge in and break up this fight but this is just gonna build up the sexual tension to a crescendo and then we’ll be having hot, hot, sex. Well, they’ll be.

"No, this isn't about me! STOP MAKING EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!""DON'T YELL AT ME!""STOP TRYING TO FIX ME!" he roared, taking another step towards her. Okay guys I am getting a little worried. Is nobody else gonna stop them? Damn harry where are you when you need to be?

She didn't hit him. No, don’t tell me. Is it happening?!!! I am not ready for this!!! My body’s not ready for this, my brain’s not ready for this, my hormones are not ready for this!!!

She kissed him, yanking him towards her and falling back against the railing as he half-choked on something breathless, stumbling against her and biting down on her lip as he let out a gasp of surprise. He caught himself, holding his breath, and pulled away, dazed.

I literally have no words for this. Just..

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So she yanked the zipper down.  GET SOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not posting the rest ‘cause, hey! ya nasty!?

I am, supposed to be kid-friendly, though i have already cursed like a sailor, so, still, no smut. Though imma read this again. and again.

I hate to go forward, but the show must go on, so scene change.

the man's formerly handsome face now mangled beyond recognition. Yes! you deserve it you fucking bastard. Now enjoy eternity with that rubber bag for a face.

they should really call you Herpo the Oblivious, I remember hearing about this Herpo the oblivious somewhere though i don’t remember exactly where. Just a sec..

Roughly 3 secs later,

Oooohhh... This bitch was the one who hatched a basilisk.

Herpo the oblivious does have a better ring than Herpo the foul don’t you think?

*Snickers*

Okay,okay, moving on...

he replied, as Herpo and Ignotus exchanged an impatient glance. It is soo clear that antioch bitch wears the pants in this club. He’s almost like another Voldemort, maybe with more finesse.

"already knew what the lemniscate was, and - " Okay, back up! What the fuck is lemniscate?

Roughly 50 seconds later (’cause i spelt it wrong)...

It’s the infinity symbol!! That’s his tattoo? Or is it what’s carved into the victim’s bodies? Honestly, I feel so confused.

"Not just that. They were expecting the lemniscate," What does he mean by expecting? Like they knew they would find the tattoo or what? It didn’t seem like that to me actually. Meh, whatever.  

"Yes," Ignotus said. "It's a complex potion, though, and paired with a fairly ruthless incantation. It may take a while."  That’s my trash kid’s handiwork. Honestly, I am so proud of him. I think this is the only fic in which I am invariably on Draco’s side no matter how asshole-y he’s being.

"Couldn't he be responsible for the Warlock poisonings?" Herpo asked, and Antioch shook his head. Wait. So these guys, are seemingly innocent. So now we have ruled out the ministry of magic, the MAUSCA, Draco,Hermione, Daisy, Emmett, Dionisia, and the Infinity Club. Who the fuck is left?

Shit, I forgot about Umbridge. Of course it has to be her. Okay too much foreshadowing. Moving on..

"Yes, definitely. But a matter of days ago it was published in the Daily Prophet that he's now an event planner for the Ministry," Antioch said wryly. "Evidently he and Granger are consultants."Herpo scoffed. "A cover, surely," he asserted. "But for what?" You know, the way they say it, it actually sounds ridiculous. I wonder how everyone’s bought the farce.

"Really, Ignotus?" he asked dubiously, the air between them turning glacially cold. "So now, suddenly, you don't see why we don't just get rid of everyone who presents a problem, do you?"   Oooooh. Bad blood between the ranks. you know it would be such a fuck all if Ignotus (Is he the youngest one. God knows.) teams up with Cadmus and together they screw over the eldest one (I think he’s Antioch? Well, he does look like the bossiest bitch out of the three so he must be. )

trailing off pointedly, and Herpo sighed."Can't you kill her yourself?" Herpo asked. "In case you've forgotten, I'm severely decaffeinated." God, this is so damn relatable. No murders today till I have had my coffee with cream and sugar. #Relatable

This is because while Dolores was not a pretty girl, she was a clever girl, a ruthless girl, and though her mother lamented her only daughter's failures - preferring instead her handsome but powerless son, the squib who was born with her own amber eyes and porcelain skin - Dolores decided her mother was just another pretty girl to be easily bypassed in the end. Ellen Cracknell was only a muggle, after all, and hardly anything was beautiful beneath the surface. Dolores, blessed with magic in her veins, ultimately found that it was her mother who was quite displeasing to her, and not the other way around. Okay, do i qualify as a heartless bitch for sympathising with her? I mean she’s still a complete bitch who i would love to see die slowly and painfull, but dang, does olivie paint her good. Making her this victim to gender discrimination and societal judgement has instantly made her appealing. And umbridge is not a pureblood? Okay, that’s kind of off.

Better to be lethal than lovely, she thought, watching her pretty mother shatter in crystalline shards across the kitchen floor, the pieces glinting in the midday sun. Shit. Oh my god that’s so cold I’m pretty sure even elsa’s bothered by her.(Get it? “The cold doesn’t bother me anyway”? Okay, I apologize, that was bad.)

Better still to be deadly than dead. Okay this is gonna be my new catchphrase. See me sport this on my original blog cause dang those are some smooth lines. Olivie you lethal dose of cyanide.

It was funny, really, that she and the Dark Lord never met. She always suspected they'd be quite good friends, or at least kindred spirits; but then, as they say, one should never meet one's idols. Hers, for example, disappointed her by ending up dead. Hahahahahahah...this is such  fuckall moment. I always assumed that they had met. But this is priceless. Honestly this is proof that umbridge was the real threat. Voldemort is the playground bully, and umbridge is the principal.(Our school’s principal was a fucking tyrant.)

A pity she hadn't seen Harry Potter coming. Seriously? He waved banners screaming,”This guy’s evil!!! this guy’s a death eater!!!!” so on and so forth. He was literally a poster-child and you didn’t eliminate him when you had the chance? I guess they always underestimate the small ones.

Dionisia made a face. "Amazing that you're willing to trust an idiotic man with a gambling addiction," she murmured, "rather than - ""Rather than the woman I've blackmailed into servitude?" Dolores prompted, tutting impatiently. "Strangely, I find I'm inclined to question your motives." She’s so snarky, I love it!!! I hate her still, cause you can never stop hating Dolores Umbridge. It’s like olivie had all this snark inside her but theo nott isn’t enough to release it though, so she’s made all her other characters equally snarky.

"But I've seen enough organized crime in my lifetime to know they will always opt to clean up the little messes until it becomes too large to ignore. I would not expect them to seek you out at this stage, as I've said before - or at any stage, really," she murmured, "unless you manage to hit them where it hurts."  So its umbridge behind all the killings? I don’t get her motive though. Just to get their attention she’s doing all this? Its kinda far-fetched don’t ya think? And where will it hurt for the infinity club? They don’t really have a home do they?

"It must be undeniable that the British Ministry is under siege."  Oh shit. Umbridge is going to strike again. They are so screwed.

"There's someone here," she eventually managed, visibly uneasy, but Dolores only shrugged. Shit, Herpo’s here. she’s really going to die isn’t she? That’s a shame. I actually was starting to like the ignotus and dionisia pairing.

For Dolores had never been a pretty girl, nor a very lucky one, but she was certainly a resilient one, and there had never been any doubt that she was a hard one to break. She had not been born ordinary, and she trusted that her future held a return to freedom, to power, to greatness, and - at long last - to the long-deserved humbling of Harry Potter. *snorts* good luck with that. Anymore humble, and harry would be as humble as he is rich.

Okay scene change. Yaaaayyy its Dramione!!!!!

Internally, he sighed.They had to -Touch. That never occurred to you when you were f***ing each others lights out.

He glanced down at her, instantly regretting it as the memory of her face (the way her eyes had fluttered shut, the way her lips had parted, the way she sounded the way she felt the way she tasted, everything everything everything and the constant echoes of oh god and yes there and holy fucking shit you feel so—) flooded through him in a rush without restraint, his entire body going rigid.  That’s hot and they are definitely going to have regret sex later. call it a gut instinct but they are. *Fanning self*

To say that the aftermath of what had happened between them had been awkward would be tragically unfunny; a laughable understatement. I couldn't put it in better words. my trash kids are really useless. Like seriously, they had sex in an f-ing corridor and then they worry about touching each other? Obviously both of them were thinking with their downstairs brains till now.

He grimaced.She obviously didn't want to touch him.If he had been waiting for a sign, that was clearly it. You idiot boy, don’t jump to conclusions. She wants to touch-oh do much more than just touch you again, you just need to glow a little slower than a bullet train at wanting to attempt their escapade again.

"Yes," she snapped. "A thoughtless mistake.""We should have known better," he said. "After all, we barely get along." escalating..."I wouldn't have done it if I weren't so tired," she told him briskly, giving him a hard, sweeping glance. "You - " she sputtered. "You're - " EsCaLaTiNg..."Yes," he drawled. "And I am thoroughly opposed to you as well."Good!" she half-shouted. "I'm glad we're on the same page. This was a mistake, I regret it completely, let's just both put it behind us and - "  The foot in the mouth syndrome raises its ugly head."Oh, you regret it, Granger?" he echoed, bristling. ‘

How Dramione foreplay:

"Do you think I've just been mooning about, longing for this to happen?"She opened her mouth, furious, and then snapped it shut."God, you're such an arse," she growled, the words slipping through her teeth. "I can't believe I ever let you near me.""Oh, is this you putting it behind you?" he prompted sarcastically. "Thank goodness, and here I was so worried you'd overthink it and be a nuisance - ""Oh, so I'm a nuisance now?" she retorted. "You're the one that's completely - "

Like this ^^^^^.

He paused, facetiously holding his hand to his ear and waiting, and then laughed. This is most definitely Antioch.

"You both look awfully flushed," he commented, smirking, and then discarded the thought, shrugging  Well they first fucked, then they fought...

"Are you alright?" he asked, reaching for her, and she nodded, stumbling forward and gripping his arm Awwwwwwww their first instinct is to reach for each other that’s so cute!!!!

Okay so where I am from its now 3 o'clock in the morning and i haven’t slept all night, so i’m just gonna just go crash now.But before I go...

Here is the noteworthy moment of the week:

“And the rest of the world clearly cares more about Dramione," she added, gagging at the utterly ridiculous diminutive on the newspaper's cover, You’ll take some time honey, but you’ll get there. Shifting from romione to dramione is kinda hard, but worth it.

Okay so that’s it and i don’t have the energy to do anything except for crash. I’ll meet you on the next sunday.

1402wisegirl over and out.

(Links to the fic are: [FF] [AO3])

[araniaexumae]

when the music dies out (you should still take me home) - chapter four

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CHAPTER FOUR

“It’s over, James.”

James’ hands, which had been outstretched towards her, fell back down.

“Over?” He repeated, not quite making sense of the word.

Lily looked at her feet. “Yes.”

Unfortunately, James knew all too well that the red-headed girl rarely changed her mind.

“Why? I thought things were going well.” He felt dumb even saying it. Obviously, things had not been going well if she was breaking up with him. Then again, it had taken him months to realize that she fancied him, so maybe he really was just an oblivious idiot.

“They weren’t.”

“But -“, he responded, stuttering, “but just last week end, we were so happy.”

“You were happy.” Lily answered, and it felt like a slap to the face. “I was bored. I decided I’m done with pretending.”

“Pretending?” The embarrassment turned to anger. “And since when have you been pretending, exactly?”

“Since the beginning. I thought you could be a fun distraction from the mess that is the world right now. But it’s not fair to you.” She explained calmly.

She was too calm. They’d never had a fight like this. Most of Hogwarts had been privy to at least one of their screaming matches over the course of seven years, but this Lily, this controlled and perfectly composed person – James didn’t know this Lily.

“Well thanks for taking months to tell me!”, he roared, “Sorry for being boring! What made you change your mind? Was toying with my emotions just not doing it for you anymore?”

He was pacing in the too small room, his hands making a mess of his dark hair. Lily was still staring at the floor. It felt like even more of an insult. What? She couldn’t even be bothered to look at him anymore? To see what she’d done to him?

“Like I said, I realized it wasn’t fair and I -”

James interrupted her. “Stop saying it’s not fair. None of this is fair! I thought we were friends. I thought- For Merlin’s sake Lily, I’m in love with you!”

The words hung in the air, neither of them knowing what to say after that. James felt tears prickling his eyes and he clenched his fists to stop the tears from falling. This was not the way he had imagined declaring his love for her. He straightened again, raising his chin in defiance.

“I guess I never really knew you.”

She held his stare, her eyes devoid of any emotion. “No, I guess you didn’t.”

And with that, Lily Evans left the room, not looking back at the boy behind her. James waited for the door to close before letting himself cry.

“What are you going to do, then?” Remus asked.

James got up. “Right now, I’m going to get another drink. And tomorrow, I’m going to do my job. I’ll be fine.”

His friends didn’t seem convinced, but James didn’t care. The most important part was convincing himself.

The next morning, James was in Dumbledore’s office again, this time in the company of Sirius, Lily and a mild but persistent headache. More than two glasses were never a good idea on a week night, but the young man thought he had had a good enough reason yesterday. The reason in question was standing a few feet away from him, as beautiful as ever, listening to Dumbledore talk and throwing James glances every once in a while. A five year long crush had taught him to become particularly good at noticing when Lily Evans was looking at him without having to turn towards her. He wished he could just tune her out, but it seemed paying attention to her was second nature to him. It was a habit, nothing more. It would simply go away with time, he was sure.

He focused on Dumbledore’s words again.

“So before taking any action, we need to analyse all the available data. My sources indicate the object is in the possession of the Carrows, who are presumed to be Death Eaters.”

Sirius snorted. “Presumed? Please, these guys are proud blood supremacists, they came for tea at least once a month. I can guarantee they are part of Voldy’s gang.”

Dumbledore continued. “I believe this object is very important to Riddle, or it will be soon. Either way, having it in our possession would give us an advantage.”

“What is this object?” James asked. He did not want to be here any longer than necessary. He hadn’t planned for Lily to keep staring at him with those mournful eyes and wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to look unaffected.

“It’s a golden goblet which belonged to Herpo the Foul.” Dumbledore took a piece of parchment of his desk and gave it to Lily, who looked at it promptly before giving it over to Sirius. The latter took the paper from her hands without so much as a look. At the beginning of the meeting, he’d greeted her with a polite ‘Evans’ and a nod, but his eyes were shooting daggers. He had placed himself between the two as if he was his brother’s personal bodyguard.

James was grateful to have Sirius with him, even if he was perfectly capable of handling it by himself. He looked at the parchment he was given. The globlet in question looked like an ordinary old cup, except there was a serpent going all around the stem.

“This is what it looks like. The Carrows have a safe in their basement, guarded by several layers of wards and enchantments. Luckily, we have a precise description of the type of protection the house possesses. Our agents have designed a exact plan of the manor.”

“So what do we have to do?” Sirius asked, already looking bored. James knew he was only pretending. This was the most exciting mission either of them had heard of in weeks.

“Figure out a way to get inside. If needed, Miss Evans has never been seen by the Carrows and could extract more information.”

James laughed, ignoring the worry that grew in his stomach at the idea of Lily being in such close proximity to known Death Eaters. “Oh, Lily’s an amazing actress, she’ll do great.”

Dumbledore didn’t reply, searching in the files in the shelves behind his desk. He found the documents he had been looking for, and copied them quickly, the tip of his wand against fresh rolls of parchment. He handed over the copies to Lily, who thanked him with a nod and held the documents against her chest.

“I need you to work together on this. Mr Black and Potter, I’m hoping your creative thinking can find a way inside this fortress. Miss Evans, your charm abilities might prove particularly useful for disarming traps and curses. Getting this goblet is of the utmost importance.”

The old wizard hadn’t visibly directed his remark at one of them in particular, but James knew this was for his benefit. Dumbledore was trusting them with this, and old childhood resentment shouldn’t be in the way of succeeding. It was better for everyone’s sake if he forgot about his grudge. He would just pretend that Lily was someone he had gone to school with, nothing more.

Their eyes met, and James felt his throat close up. Easier said then done.