#How do I make classic onion soup?

[kcrossvine-art]

Youre telling me a shimp fried this rice soup? No.  But with your help it can, for just pennies a day. Today on the the Redwall Cookbook we're making Shrimp'N'Hotroot Soup. 

(you may find the original recipe at the bottom if you’d like to follow along!)-

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Shrimp'N'Hotroot Soup?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Unsalted butter

1 onion

2 leeks

Vegetable stock (or vegetable bouillon)

Milk

3 potatoes

Curry or chili powder

Salt and pepper

Pre-cooked shrimp or prawns

I also added parsley flakes and smoke paprika for serving. The recipe recommends crusty bread!

Crusty bread. Like garlic or a baguette.

Stale potato chips would prolly taste good if ur into that sorta thing.

AND, “what does Shrimp'N'Hotroot Soup taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Of all the redwall dishes so far this one has the most distinct 'savory' flavor

Smooth, rich flavor

The veggies came out nicer than id thought and i think the simmering and then adding liquid let it seep in.

The seafood smells intense after an hour or so (serve immediately)

The powder and the milk kept separating and i wonder if stirring more or adding the milk earlier wouldve made it emulsify better?

You could strain and serve the contents without the soup part!

Would pair well with a smooth red wine and a 'naked' salad.

Shimp-shimp-shimp-shimp-a-doop

. Used almond milk where milk called for . Used curry powder . Used garlic bread

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Honestly feel free to just fuckin HEAP on the spices, in classic brit fashion, they have the tongues of arctic babies and you can barely taste the spice with the original portions given. The shrimp is understandably pre-cooked but as is they come out barely changed by the soup or spices, and if someone could tell me the reasoning behind not adding them earlier to soak up some of that good good stuff, id love to hear (genuine).

2 major points on this recipe; As its seafood, it does not keep well, you could maybe save it for later the same day. Beyond that youre playing with your life and it wont taste great. It is very fast to prepare (if you have prechopped veggies). Maybe 40 minutes from deciding to make it from having it in my belly, not counting veggie prep time as i did that the morning-of while reading.

So sorry for having this out late! I've been working on some projects like concept work for an upcoming indie TTRPG, commissions for folks DnD parties, and my own personal stuff. If it makes it up to yall, i did eat this on the 3rd of this month haha.

As much as I love seafood, unfortunately i dont make it much as its hard to store and can be finicky to prepare. This soup could be replaced with a few other centerpieces, or made vegetarian, but for how it is in the book- I give this recipe a solid 6/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again. 5 being average)

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 large onion, chopped

2 medium leeks, washed well and chopped

1 1/2 cups vegetable stock (or 1 1/2 cups water and 1/2 cube vegetable bouillon)

3 medium potatoes, peeled and chopped

1 teaspoon curry powder or chili powder, or to taste

Salt and pepper, to taste

8 ounces peeled, cooked shrimp or prawns, sliced if large

1 cup milk

Method:

In a large pot over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the onion and leeks and cook, stirring, until soft, about 5 minutes (do not let the vegetables brown).

Add the vegetable stock, potatoes, curry or chili powder, and salt and pepper. Cover and simmer until the potatoes are very soft, 15 to 20 minutes.

Add the shrimp and milk and gently heat. Serve with crusty bread.

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group H, Round 5

Propaganda under the cut

Medea

Her husband divorced her so to get back at him she burned his new bride alive, murdered her own children and casually escaped justice in a chariot pulled by dragons and *made from the sun.* She is iconic and I love her.

propaganda from @apollosgiftofprophecy

Princess with Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, granddaughter of the Titan of the Sun, Helios, and Priestess of Hecate, the literal Goddess of MagicStarts out a classic fairy tale (with a few murders in the mix for flavor)Jason (the man/husband she sacrificed EVERYTHING for) thought it would be totally alright to cheat on his sorceress wife with some princess and - double whammy - he planned to keep Medea as his mistress after he married this random princess!When she confronts him, he shows his true colors as a world-class bastard and she reminds him that he's only still alive, and only completed his quest for the Golden Fleece, because of her. (WHICH IS TRUE)To get back at him, Medea orchestrates the death of said princess (and indirectly the king's too, whoopsies :) ) by sending a beautiful dress for her that was laced with poison that caused the princess to catch on fire, and also killed whoever touched her (the king)She then murders her and Jason's two kids (after some emotional dilemma because she actually cares about them while Jason Does Not) and exits the kingdom In Style - how? Like this:Rises into the air on a golden chariot pulled by dragons given to her by Helios When Jason says the gods with avenge him, she tells him "lol, good luck with that oathbreaker!" and flies off into the night Like A Bossa little more context here: Jason's godly patron was Hera, the literal goddess of family and marriage. And he was going to abandon his children and break his vows to Medea.Also, she never is punished for any of this stuff, meaning her actions have the (reluctant :) always good to be morally gray) approval of the gods. She's one of the only nuanced female characters in Greek Mythology, and by god is she interestingThis, my friends, is why Medea is the ultimate Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.

Ianthe Tridentarius

She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate

Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.

"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "

She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.

Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top

idk just everything about her

her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.

she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.

Artist: @marceline2174 (instagram)

[thbstvrdthmtlbndndntn]

Sometimes I wonder about the taste of my own cooking and how it’s completely undetectable to me. Especially after cooking for someone else for so long and then cooking for just myself we would notice the culinary ruts we would get stuck in and occasionally rag on each other for it and I was always so defensive about it but then I remember how no matter the dish growing up there was an undefinable but distinct essence to any of my relatives cooking. Like no matter what aunt Sandra or grandma or my mum was making it always tasted like them and I think especially once you become a more confident cook and stop following recipes that becomes the case because you know what you like. Like I know my food will taste similar when I’m cooking for myself because I like things sour and spicy and savoury and i have a limited number of ingredients so I add the same things to get those flavours. I use a lot of rice and apple cider vinegar, lime juice, Cajun seasoning (slap ya mama), cilantro, chili flakes, hot sauce and herbes salees. Even when I’m cooking from a recipe I typically add one or more of those things because that’s what I want out of my food. And I was thinking about this today because I got home from walking all over town and the farmers market and needed an easy dinner — but I also was craving vegetables and had stuff to use up. I was originally going to do canned tomato soup and a grilled cheese but as I look at my fridge it evolves into an abomination I know will be delicious to me and probably brutal to anyone else.

Here’s what I did and why it would up taking 30 minutes instead of 10: sautéed green onions, Chiles, Napa cabbage, and fresh tomato in a pot, added frozen broccoli, a cooked tandoori chicken burger (chopped), a can of tomato soup and two and a half cans of water. Brought to a boil and added a box of the KFC-branded Kraft dinner (Mac and cheese for non-Canadians). Cooked five minutes, then took off the heat and added milk, lots of pepper, some thawed frozen peas, and the flavour pouch. Served with air fried cheese toast on quinoa bread from t&t. It tasted very much like a childhood meal in some ways but also like a classic “me” meal… taking two convent products and making them so complicated it probably would’ve had the same result just to make it from scratch. But I liked it and I was happy with it and I will have the leftovers for lunch tomorrow and those will make me happy as well.

I don’t know why I wanted to write so much tonight but I guess being alone in a new place again just a year after I moved out from my life with the ex that shaped my entire twenties I am having a lot of thoughts about how I build my life and how I become who I am as a person. I was supposed to go see the mountain goats next weekend but my boyfriend’s grandma died and I decided to fly to Newfoundland instead. Sometimes doing the right thing is the easiest thing in the world. Meanwhile I’ll lose my mind over sending a simple non-confrontational email. Things are hard, and they’re good.

[siberat]

“So, what shall I sink my teeth into next? *Scans the table* Ah, how about this juicy coal burger? One can never go wrong with the classics! Just look at that thick patty! *Shows to the camera, then takes a huge bite* MMmm-MMm-MMMM! Tastes delicious! The bun is so fresh, and the pickles give the burger a nice crunchy zest!

*Licks his lips* Well, let’s move on to an ask, sound good? We have another anonymous asking, ‘Have there been others who know about your scrumptious eating escapades?’ *Raises optic ridges* Scrumptious would be an understatement, wouldn’t you agree? Naturally, Rat/chet is aware of my overindulgent tendencies, and to be honest, I have received some double takes. However, I try to limit going overboard. *Licks coal burger juice from fingers* Usually, I won’t consume so much tasty food in one sitting. Oh! *Stuffs another bite of burger in his mouth* Swe/rve tends to bring me mini-cupcakes and treats of the sort, demanding me to tell him which tastes the best. And I give him my honest opinion.

*Shrugs and frowns* Yet, those tasty baked treats never make it on his menu. And you know, I swear one evening, I smelt the loveliest aromas coming from his locked bar. I knew Swe/rve was baking up something good! *Finishes the burger* But the next day, no baked goods were added to the menu. And yes, you can bet that I was first in line when his bar opened! But anyways, I have not maintained a chiseled frame regularly, but the weight gain isn’t overly noticeable all the time. I still want to be able to enjoy my swordsmanship, after all. *Wipes mouth on napkin*

I demolished that coal burger, haven’t I? *Pats belly* Oofff…. My stomach is getting nice and tight already. There’s no decision on what to try next based on this anonymous question: ‘Who is the fastest at finishing a large bottle of Doctor Chunk?’ Supposedly, Rodi/mus claims to be the best chugger of drinks. He said he could drink this whole bottle in under 20 seconds. *Picks up bottle of Soda* I beg to differ. I think I can out-chug him. What do you think? *Winks* Shall I give it a go? Okay… someone time me…*Brings bottle to lips* And go! *Starts chugging*

*Optics open wide, chugging ends* Oh my! *Belches loudly; servo covers mouth in embarrassment* Please excuse me! *Stifles another belch before resuming chugging; however, it doesn’t last long* Oh, my stars, that carbonation burns! I’m almost there! *Shows only one-third of the bottle remaining* I think I can make it! *Continues to chug the drink until finished*

All done! *Belches out a long, noisy burp* Where have my manners gone? *Stomach gurgles* My tummy…*Winces* So much pressure…

*Loud, audible clank is heard* Oh my! *Optics open wide in shock, cheeks flush as his stomach plating busts out and shoots across the room* How embarrassing! I’m busting out all over the place…literally! *Servo’s rub at exposed protomesh belly* However, I feel so much better now. Like, so much more room has become available! *Smirks at camera* So, what was my time? Did I beat Rodi/mus?

*Furrows brows* Thirty-five seconds? Are you sure? I downed that drink quicker than that! *Pouts* Oh well. I guess we’ll have to let our dear captain hold that title. For now, at least. Now, onto our next question and dish. We have two askers, annony and Alcorian, asking the same question, relating to how much I have polished off so far and whether I can finish in one stream. *Clears throat* Being a dedicated individual, I always plan to finish what I start! And how could I resist all this tantalizing food? Take this Cyber-city Onion soup, for example. *Picks up bowl covered in warm, melted cheese and shows camera* Just look at that rich, melted lithium cheese blanketing over a generously sized piece of bread, bathing in a warm broth of caramelized onions. *Stabs spoon into the cheese, scooping broth* Doesn’t this look delightful? One of my favorite types of soups! *Eats spoonful, pulling at the cheese strands to break them off* Hmmm, so good!

Moving on to the next question, and this is a good food question from another Anon: ‘What’s your favorite profile? There are all kinds, of course, like sweet and spicey or savory and salty. Do you have a favorite, or do you like them equally?’ Well, this one is rather hard. The easy answer would be to say I like them all equally. *Grins sheepishly* I suppose it depends on my mood. Sometimes, one craves a salty snack, like some ener-nuts or potassium crisps.

Sweets? *Face scrunches in joy* Who can resist them? I used to chide Rat/chet for his love of those junky, sweet snacks, goading him to eat healthier. Now I’m sure he wishes he never forced me to try one of his favorite little treats-Ka/on dogs. *Smiles, scooping more cheese and soup on spoon* They look like hot dogs, but the bun is chocolate cake, and the ‘hot dog’ is deliciously sweet cream. *Licks lips* By golly, they are so good! What have I been missing out on all my life? *Eats more soup*

And one can never go wrong with those savory foods! I love those dishes that have been slow-cooked for a long time or aged to perfection! *Gives belly a pat* I cannot resist those meals of roasted cyber-chicken, pasta with garlic and olive oil, pies like quiche…*Gives a chef’s kiss* The list goes on!

But my absolute favorite must be spicy. Foods that give a little kick are just amazing! Eating spice triggers heat receptors to activate inside your frame, tricking your sensory net to feel as if you are overheating. In response to that, your processor turns on your cooling systems. So, you don’t taste the heat; you feel the heat. *Slurps some more soup* Get what I am saying? Food that bites back…*Laughs*

There is nothing left of this soup! *Shows empty bowl* That really hit the spot! And do you know what I have been eyeing for the longest time? This loaded potato! Just look at this monster! * Picks up dish* This has been twice baked, making it such a creamy and cheesy masterpiece! * Takes a heaping forkful* Not only that, but the cyber-bacon also gives a nice, salty crunch! Hmmmm So good!

But onto our next question. Anon asks: ‘I know you had a difficult past. Did it take you a while to get comfortable eating such tasty meals, either alone or in front of others? Or were you pretty comfortable from the beginning?’ Well, this is kind of a double-edged sword, if I may say so. Being a street mech, you kind of eat whatever you can get, whenever you can. Sometimes, your meal only consisted of a handful of scraps. *Idly shrugs* Other times, you hit the motherload! And when you can upon a feast, you ate as much as you simply could. Sure, you could try stashing it away for later, but there’s the chance of the food spoiling beyond consumption or others finding it and devouring it on you.

*Sadly, looks down* I mean, I would share with a few mechs; please don’t mistake me for being selfish. But not everyone shared nor cared about taking a starving mech’s food. Kinda had to look out for yourself first. *Stabs more cheesy baked potato* But outside of being homeless…in the beginning, that mentality was still present. Loading up my plate with as food that could fit, finding a seat furthest away from anyone, and scarfing the food down as quickly as possible. *Shakes helm* Wi/ng would hate that. And how I guarded my dish as I ate. Slag, he would yell whenever I’d growl! He claimed I had no reason to behave like that. Looking back, I didn’t. But old habits die hard, yeah? *Stuffs another heaping forkful of food into mouth*

But as far as enjoying eating tasty meals- that was instant. I mean, anything is better than dumpster diving! *Smiles and shrugs* But as far as indulging my joys of being stuffed… generally keep that to the privacy of my own habsuit. *Gives a shy look* I kept this a secret from Rat/chet for a bit, if I may be honest. I feared him seeing this overeating as more of a bad habit, or a new addiction. Or… I know this is going to sound bad… * Bites lower lip* I feared he may not like a, ah…. plusher figured mech. Yeah, I am sure you could imagine his reaction on hearing that! His optics nearly singed holes through my frame as I sat hidden in a corner of my habsuit stuffing my face silly. Rat/chet may join me on occasion, but generally I tend to keep to myself.

*Chuckles* Yeah, a live video feed of this mukbang kinda breaks that secrecy, but being behind a camera is different than in real life. It’s not so much that I am embarrassed, more so that other mechs can simply be rude about things and resort to childish behaviors such as teasing or bullying. *Cheekily grins* Plus, hearing all your encouraging words really helps!

See? *Shows emptied plate* This double-baked goodness has been gobbled up! This meal is quite satisfying so far! *Looks at camera* And what about you guys? Care to share what you have been munching on? What are some of your favorite dishes? Maybe we have similar tastes in some foods, huh?

*Optics scan table* Speaking of tastes…. What should I sample next?

… ……

Still taking on more askes! So, if you have a question for Dr/ift, send it in! You can send multiples. Also, if you wanted to ask as another TF character- just state so! Let’s keep this mukbang going and see if our dear sword/smech can handle all that food infront of him!

[xxsycamore]

𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐝'𝐨𝐞𝐮𝐯𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐍𝐨𝐰?!

↬ 🍽 You and Napoleon stumble upon a funny menu at a random small restaurant.

Napoleon Bonaparte x reader • rating: G • tags: Married Characters; Vacation; Lunch; Dates; Humor • wordcount: 896 • masterlist

a/n: Yeah, this is just another weird dream I had last night, and I was encouraged by some friends to make it into a fic again. It's kind of cute...? Enjoy!

"I guess it's about time we stop for a bite… where do you want to eat, Nunuche?"

Being on a vacation with your lovely husband Napoleon is all you've been wishing for lately, with all the hard work you've been subject to under Sebastian's watchful eye. It's just the first leg of the getaway trip but wandering through the cozy little streets of the island is already making you feel like you've spent a whole month here… and you wouldn't mind that, to be fair! The guys will be fine in the butler's ever diligent care, and besides, you're lessening his workload by hoarding one of the residents to yourself…

"Mm? Oh, right, let's pick a place… There are so many restaurants here, it's hard to choose."

"You've been spacing out. What are you thinking about?"

Warmth caresses the back of your hand, and you recognize the familiar favorite method of your husband to turn your attention back on him. You squeeze his hand in turn, beaming at him.

"Oh you know, about you, and stuff."

"Uh-huh. Nice save. Well I think you might be spacing out because you're hungry, I know how you are. How about here?"

You follow his pointing hand to a coquettish little restaurant at the side of the street. A prolonged humming noise is enough of an indication that it could be better, and Napoleon leads you forward, always settling for nothing short of the best for you. Near the end of the street, there is another restaurant that catches your attention - half the tables are on the sidewalk, but the rest are on a ship-like platform.

"What about here?"

It appears to be just another authentic French restaurant, the ones Napoleon seems to dismiss for the opportunity to try something new instead, now that you're on a vacation.

"Hmm? Here? Are you sure?"

"Yes! I've been thinking, Sebastian always cooks those fancy meals, East-meets-West kinda fusion to make sure there's something familiar for everybody's palate and stuff, but, when was the last time you ate a good old French onion soup? Of course, that's just me and my weird sudden cravings, you can get whatever you want-"

"You're right, Nunuche. Let's go."

The smile is back on your face at the proof of how easy communication is with your husband - there's always this  tang of worry that he might be quick to agree to anything that makes you happy, but in that case you just have to eye him carefully if he's enjoying his meal, scoldings at the ready… though you feel as if there might not be a need for that. He loves a good meal as long as it's a shared meal - having his own history of being served fancy meals and recognizing the need of plain, classic soup sometimes. You can't help but gawk at him, even for something so trivial…

Napoleon exchanges a few words with the server and soon you're shown to your table on the "ship", menus placed in front of you. Despite already knowing what you're going to ask for, you take in a curious look at what they offer - only to find that there's convenient English translation for tourists. A travel agent by profession prior your trip back in time to 19th century Paris, you can't help but throw the translations a curious eye. And well, they appear to be…

"Cocklets to the natural one…?"

Napoleon looks over his own menu, finding you pointing to the meals.

"Pfft… is this how they translate au naturel?"

"Here, look at this one! In vinegar anchovys."

"Hahah! That sounds like a name of an old poem."

You smack him as his laugher grows too loud; he has the worst type of humor and it's always coupled with the knack of laughing uncontrollably."

"Ahaha, no, no, look at this one- ouch, last one, I promise - Olives suffering. Olives suffering! Pfft!!"

Okay, that one WAS funny. You also feel a little bad for the owner who might not be suspecting that he's handing out the humor column of a newspaper to his foreign clients instead of a menu. You ought to give him some friendly advice when you're leaving the place, and hopefully he takes it well…

"Ah, there is the token specialty meal named after a certain famous emperor… huh? Hor sd'oeuvre of Napoleon's brother…? What is that supposed to be?"

"Oh, it's Joseph's famous hors d'oeuvre. What, haven't you heard of it?"

Surprised by Napoleon's reaction, you start to feel a little embarrassed. You've truly never heard of such a thing, and here you thought it's just another funny-sounding finding in the menu. That's awkward.

"Well, I haven't really…"

"Me neither."

???

"Pfft. Ahahaha! Really Nunuche, what did you think-"

You frown and hold up the menu so that it hides your face completely from Napoleon's gaze. That was too much.

"No, I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it, you're cute when you-"

"Do I know you, strange monsieur that laughs like a weirdo?"

Napoleon gasps, a little too theatrical, and pushes your menu down to see your still frowning face. You sigh and smile at him again reassuringly, feeling the whole situation too silly to be mad about any part of it.

"The worst thing is, I didn't see onion soup anywhere."

"Now that's a problem. Come on, Nunuche, let's go somewhere else to eat."

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran    @pumpumnnnp @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @animeworldsposts @randomanimatedhusbandoseeker @galaxyprison @sadshaxk @starshards26 @pro-cat-stination @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @keen19thcenturygoatsstudent @lordsister @ikemen-banshou   @themysticalbeing @canaria-blackwell @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 ​ @ikemenlover24 @violettduchess @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

[robogart]

I'm playing botw again and I have to say that the voice acting really ruined any interest I might have had in the story - to me, the voice acting and memories portion (all those cutscenes) really detracted from the storytelling it could have had and thinking about it is boiling my onions again! More below @ w @;;

I've been going off on this to my friend (bless her patience) and at first I thought "I don't know if I like the story?" but then I realized that I would probably enjoy the story and characters if I got to read it instead of listening to the voice acting.

I know my opinion is largely influenced by playing lots of the older games, and I really enjoyed reading about the story here and there, and having a sort of "less is more" approach where there is So Much room to sort of inject your own thoughts and feelings into the stories and the characters.

It's too bad because objectively, Zelda's story is interesting in this game - a young girl struggling with her duty and responsibility, exasperated by being unable to access her power while the whole world is counting on her (this is great stuff) - but the way it is delivered (through all the cutscenes and the voice acting) makes me absolutely not care at all about it. I am so sad that I am so angry at how much I dislike Zelda in this game, which totally bums me out!! ; w ;

And it really has to do with just how they handled the story telling in this - which was a neat, different way to do it (and a lot of people really loved it, which is great)! But honestly I feel like not having ANY of the memory portions in the game (and no voice acting please) would have made it SO much more compelling and interesting. Letting your audience piece together the narrative of these champions that Link can't remember from the people that were left behind. It's SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING!

I think it's just the classic move where so much media treats their audience like they're idiots and nothing is FURTHER from the truth! The excitement of storytelling comes from leaving space for the audience's imagination! It helps enrich the soup! Stop clogging it with so many potatoes!! 😭👏✨✨✨

[perpetual-lurker]

I'm watching a cooking + related homemaking tips show from 2005. Seeing the classic 2000s aesthetic that turned into the Pinterest aesthetic is nostalgic. But there's something else I've really noticed...

This show is aspirational (see: Pinterest style aesthetic), but the main focus is making it achievable. How to make it easier, little hacks to make stuff look fancy, just generally practical tips. All my beloved comfort cooking shows from the 2000s are like this. EMERIL is like this.

It's pretty well accepted among people I know that the tradwife aesthetic is intentionally out of reach - leisure class and all that. But it's not just the crunchy, I have enough time to make bread every day content that is like this! Every "easy" recipe on the Internet requires SO MUCH prep, and no one is giving tips on how to cut down on that. I searched "pantry recipes" and every single recipe required fresh vegetables - some only needed onions, but many required a whole list with no notes for how to alter the recipe for canned / frozen veggies.

My mom used to look up easy / slow cooker / casserole recipes and actually get those! No excessive cream cheese, no making a whole soup on the stove then just transferring it to a crock pot to simmer, no unrealistic prep time estimates, no assuming you already know shortcuts. Yes frozen veggies, yes canned tomatoes, yes including chopping in the prep time, yes recipe notes on substitutions.

I can't be the only person who is struggling because I can't handle cooking everything from scratch, but I also can barely handle searching for alternatives. Coming up with my own shortcuts is SO MUCH WORK. Why are there no tips for that any more?

How many other things am I struggling with because the "right way" is more complicated than it needs to be? I can't distinguish between someone being sanctimonious and someone being helpful except when it's particularly extreme, and even then it takes me some time. I've been in disability / neurodivergent groups where no one had tips between "do it from scratch" and "get someone else to do it". I just want to contribute and eat a balanced diet and have a clean house.

[saltqueer]

Ask Game Answers

Last song: The Dogs of Rotterdam by The Barons of Tang

Colour: yeah agreed, deep rich greens are great

Media: Yeah fatt is great, go read the manga for dungeon meshi it's so damn good. Go watch Scavenger's Reign. Read The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemison. These are more recs than what I'm currently enjoying ah well.

Flavour: Sweet

I've forgotten the rest so have new questions.

What kind of animal are you picking/stuck with as a familiar if you became a witch?

Do you have a garden? How does it grow?

If you got shrunk down teeny tiny and became a teeny tiny cowboy, what bug are your riding off into the teeny tiny sunset?

Do you have any good hats?

What can you do that most people cant?

witch familiar: i don't have a pet right now, i think i would go for the classic cat. i like big fluffy grey ones

garden: yes! there are two vegetable garden plots here. the growing environment is very different from where i grew up, so there's still a lot of learning to do.

there's a couple peach trees that do well, im excited to make pickled green peaches in a couple months! i think this year they'll all be dill or spicy dill. they went really fast, and the other batch i made still has barely gotten touched. there's also a goji berry bush that's very productive. last year i had to stop picking bc i was getting overwhelmed with processing them. we just used the last of them this week, in a ham and bean soup, so I'll be a little more diligent about picking them next year. there's also a couple apple trees, but they do super poorly. i think they have some kind of blight? but idk. they are really small and never put out many leaves. and like two apples max. there's also a pear tree, last year the pears it made were all tiny? OH and chestnut trees. usually the squirrels get to them all first, but last year might've been a mast year, if chinese chestnuts do that?? we had a ton of extras. unfortunately we didn't eat them fast enough, and they're gross and dry now. if it happens again ill make sure we give more of them away

we usually grow lots of tomatoes and basil that do super well. there's also peas, but the rabbits get to them despite our best efforts, so they don't produce a whole lot. we're trying to figure out onions, but i think the soil needs to be softer before they'll be able to do well. its very clay-y. and my dad keeps planting garlic in the spring, even though you're supposed to plant it in the fall. so it never makes it. and my mom keeps planting lettuce, even though it never gets more than a couple leaves and they're always bitter. i think its a waste of time and spacd, especially since she doesn't ever change anything about how she grows it?? just goes oh well that was disappointing. guess I'll do the same thing next year. and it's not like people can't grow lettuce here for some reason, the community farm that food not bombs works with grown BEAUTIFUL heads of lettuce. im also biased here btwn my mom and my dad and their plants they won't change husbandry for bc i like garlic and think it's worth it to make a simple change, but i don't think it's possible to make lettuce taste good. we also usually grow carrots, last year the first planting got too hot and turned bitter, but the second round of them were totally sweet and delicious!! last year we used the second plot to grow buckwheat and it did really badly, we barely got back as many groats as we planted. but it was so fun to watch it grow. there's also a small herb mound that has sage and thyme growing on it. they do well, but my mom never uses them ????? she says its too much bother to leave the kitchen and go get them. i want her to plant rosemary there too, but i haven't managed to get it to happen. we also have an aloe that we keep indoors. i want it to get really big so the leaves are worth it to process for food, but my mom wants it to stay tiiiny. and that's plants!

tiny cowboy: i had to think really hard about this one. probably some sort of weevil? they look cool as hell

hats: OH BOY DO I. i have three hats that are very cool cause i made them! i also have hats that i made but aren't cool, so im not just being egotistical fbfjsjsnan

first up, this stocking cap!

its made of cheap polyester yarn, but the colors are super fun. its also a little too big bc i didn't bother with a gauge swatch, but its pretty much fine

second up, this balaclava!

its made of wool yarn that i handspun with my drop spindles. i picked the colors after sangfielle. and i knitted it, obviously. i wear it to work every day, since i commute on my bike and work outside. i don't usually lay it out like this, so its cool to see how it's stretched out and shaped itself with age (look up #sangfiyarn if you want to see what it looked like originally!)

and, finally, this hat!!

i wore it last night but i can't find it now :/ it'll reappear soon tho for sure. not only is it totally gorgeous, i had to reverse engineer the pattern from peoples process pics on ravelry!! the designer is totally uncontactable. i spent like two months trying to get in touch with her so i could give her $6 for it but nothing came of it. also, the technique this uses creates a wonderful double thick layer of fabric, so its super warm. the yarn is hand dyed, i got it off etsy from a lady who lives in colorado and dyes yarn inspired by colors in nature around her. the green really does feel like a pine forest

special abilities: math. hand spinning yarn. reverse engineer a complicated crochet pattern from pictures. look out my window and see the woods. embroidery? i can do the back of your throat french R. i ride a bike 16 miles every day (e-bike, im not that good at biking anymore). i can truthfully say i've lived in 6 us states. i know how to make twine out of stinging nettle fiber, but im not very good at it. i can say i rode my bike 100 miles in a day twice as a kid, and 50 miles in a day a few times. ive also gone over 50mph on a bike. i used to own a bike frame that was one of 11 or so in the world, but i lost it when i was homeless. does writing in cursive count as something most people can't do nowadays? i know how to dye yarn with goldenrod. i can weave, a little bit sort of. i understand how to construct a fire for optimal cooking something on a stick. i know that the best fire cooking on a stick happens over coals, not over flames (ive spent so much time carefully building bonfires with flames areas and coals areas and then watching people cook hot dogs and marshmallows over the flames 😭😭😭 and then they're like ugh the outside of my hotdog is burnt and the inside is still cold. bro the coals are RIGHT THERE)

[squadrah]

la squadra's favourite soups >:)

I was asked by a good friend to really give this one my all and then some, so prepare for a lot of flavor text, ehehe.

Risotto: From Sicily he brings his love of traditional Peperonata, brewed rather thick and served with some crusty bread for mopping, as well as the conviction that soup, whether simple or complex, should be a complete meal onto itself. You won't see him serving anything on the clear or thin side because it might as well be a drink then; Ribollita and French Onion Soup are his idea of good vegetarian home cooking, and if he makes soup with meat, he will buy up the cheap cuts, bone in, and load the pot to the brim.

Formaggio: He will always take what he can get of course, but you won't catch him ordering soup anywhere, because the ones he truly cares for are either the sort of home cooking restaurants often scoff at like the humble Stracciatella, or something restaurants often get wrong such as authentic Goulash. The latter especially is his darling and he wants it home cooked with carrots, potatoes and egg noodles, but Risotto's best efforts still do not compare to how he remembers it from his mother's table.

Prosciutto: He will only touch soup if it's strong enough in itself - he would never order any with the idea of fixing it in post by adding chili. From mildest to hottest, he would appreciate a concentrated Beef Bouillon with or without the trimmings, might also like Frutta Di Mare All'acqua Pazza if the water is "crazy" enough, and would love a good Tom Yum, but his prime favorite would be a bone marrow soup like Bulalo, where there's plenty of richness and flavorful meat to go around. He must have all the marrow, of course.

Pesci: He's on the opposite end of the spectrum from Prosciutto due to his acid reflux and prefers his soups on the mild side while also eschewing those with a tomato base or onions if he can help it. You cannot go wrong with a classic Chicken Noodle, but he especially likes smooth vegetable soups like butternut squash with toasted croutons on top, and he would be first in line for anything that uses cream or other dairy, like Seafood Chowder (any type of chowder would be a big hit with him) or Yayla Çorbası.

Ghiaccio: He is at odds with soup because to his mind it's not a proper meal, and there are textures and flavors he finds repulsive, so it's a struggle. When he has any, it's usually small portions he can quickly drink or eat: clear bone broth is as close as he can venture to bouillon because the meaty flavor is negligible, and he appreciates your standard Miso for the tofu and the crunch of green onions and beansprouts, as long as the bean paste is mild. If he had the means or access, he would love the concept of Nabemono in general.

Melone: In his sickly childhood he ate a lot of Acquacotta, which he still craves sometimes despite having developed a gluten allergy, and unfortunately for him, the list of forbidden delights does not stop there. He loves a good Zuppa Imperiale, but again, the semolina in the dough cubes is a menace, and anything made with cream will avenge itself unless he takes his Lactaid. Of the soups he can safely have, he has most taken to Borscht for the excellent taste as well as its vibrant color, and has proclaimed it a health food.

Illuso: This one, in spite of his upbringing, is a soup purist who believes that soup is strictly a first course, and therefore it should be something simple and light that is easy on the stomach and whets your appetite for the rest of the meal. He loves Gazpacho and could drink it like a smoothie, and is fond of Caldo Verde with its single slice of chorizo (it's like finding the prize in your Galette de Rois), but in winter he will branch out and have Minestra di Noci as often as they can get walnuts, perhaps with some chestnuts added in.

Sorbet: Here we have someone who appreciates a wider range, but having grown up on odds-and-ends type soups often poorly made, his standards are now much higher even for something as simple as plain Caraway Soup, and he has been working on improving them all. His favorite by far is any type of lentil soup such as Minestra di Lenticchie or Masoor Dal, for the taste as well as lentils symbolizing abundance, and when he craves something sweet, any Fruit Soup will be welcome before savory main courses, hot or chilled.

Gelato: Cannot live without soup and never met one he did not like; in fact he regularly cooks a variety of them including Fruit Soup, though to him that is in the dessert category. His greatest favorites are made with sausage or entrails: think Fabada for the chorizo or Menudo for the tripe, as well as any type of meatball soup. He's not big on pasta in soup (he prefers egg noodles), but if the ravioli is filled with ground offal (mostly liver or heart, as kidney and lungs are much harder to come by nowadays), he will gladly have it.

[magnificentsapcaddy]

The only April Fool here this year is me, because I made the Soup of March, Carolinian Clam Chowder, on the 27th, and then I didn't make a post for the rest of the month.

I'll get ahead of this - Ohio is not a seabound state. We have Lake Erie and the Ohio River, and majestic though they may be, there is a dearth of fresh seafood in the cornfield regions of the state. So, in classic pig American tradition, this is a "dump a bunch of cans of crap into a pot" recipe. I would maybe go as far as to say that this is Ohioan Carolinian Clam Chowder, as not to get beat with hammers when I go to the Outer Banks. This would undoubtedly be better with fresh ingredients, but as the French say, "sail a V" or something.

For the recipe, click on the readmore below!

First things first, what makes this Carolinian Clam Chowder? Imagine a Punnet square, with the axes being "cream/no cream" and "tomato/no tomato". New England Clam Chowder is cream, no tomato. Manhattan Clam Chowder is cream and tomato. Carolinian Clam Chowder is no cream, tomato. What chowder lies in the no cream, no tomato quadrant? Who nose.......

INGREDIENTS

- 1/3 rib of celery - 1 medium carrot - 1/2 medium onion - 1 tbsp butter - 1 medium can of diced tomatoes (low sodium, if possible) - 1 medium can of diced potatoes - 1 small can of corn - 10 oz can of whole baby clams - 8 oz clam juice - 1 tbsp black pepper - 1 tsp red pepper flakes - 1 cube chicken stock - 1 1/2 cups water

DIRECTIONS

Melt your butter in your pot (most recipes I saw called for bacon fat instead, much like the česnečka recipe from January. I was too tired to go through that work, but seeing how this turned out -maybe consider doing that! It would make for a thicker, richer broth). Coarsely chop your celery. Mince your onion. Cut your carrot in half lengthwise and chop each half into 1/2-inch thick chunks. Put the vegetables in the pot and let cook until the onions begin to clear and the mixture is aromatic.

Add the clam juice, the can of clams (with their juice), the can of tomatoes (with their juice), the can of potatoes (drained) and the can of corn (drained). Add spices, stock, and water. As an aside - if I was making this with more effort, I would have gotten real potatoes and actually diced them and cooked them with the vegetables in step one.

Let cook until the broth has reduced by at least 1/2 cup and the celery is tender and has lost its crunchiness - this should take 35 minutes, with 20 minutes covered and 15 minutes uncovered. Serve hot. IF SO DESRIED: take 4 or 5 Ritz Crackers and coarsely crumble them over the soup for added texture and flavor.

So, at this point, we now engage in the moratorium of the recipe.

This wasn't bad. Well, hold on. I don't know. Like I said, I cut a lot of corners here. I firmly believe this would have been good if I hunkered down and did everything the right way. But, if you can't do it right, do it scared, you know? Don't die wondering!

I don't know. I don't want to make these soup posts double as therapy posts, but March was a really rough month for me, and it got to a point where, genuinely, the main thing keeping me going was the idea of making this soup, because my mom was talking it up for a while. By the time I made it, though, even though it was the main thing I had to look forward to, I just didn't have the wherewithal to fry the bacon, drain part of the fat and reserve the rest, dice the potatoes, cook them beforehand, fry them, deglaze the pot... so, as I said, I engaged in the traditional pig American activity of dumping a bunch of canned stuff in there.

The canned stuff is not bad. I don't know. I don't want to get philosophical, but I feel like this one kind of sums up the month I had. You can't get fresh clams here. You don't have the energy to do it the way the recipes tell you. But, you make do! Wal-Mart sells clam juice! We have a can of diced potatoes! You can substitute butter for lard! Is it what you really wanted, in your heart of hearts? No. But it's a warm meal, and it tastes alright, and that's what keeps you going. This is not the last time you will ever cook. You can do it again, correctly. Later. Now, you do what you can, and you know it's good enough.

All that is to say: soup's fine. The first bowl I had, I hadn't let it reduce properly and didn't add the stock, and I let it get cold and the last few bites just tasted like cold fishwater. It was better after sitting a day and also reducing and seasoning it right. I'd definitely recommend the Ritz Cracker thing, but I know that the clash of textures isn't for everyone

[edgewaterfarmcsa]

CSA WEEK 3

P i c k l i s t

GREEN PEPPERS - JALAPENO PEPPERS - CELERY - LETTUCE - FENNEL - CARROTS - 

ONIONS - PLUM TOMATOES - SAGE - WINTER SQUASH - SWEET POTATOES

BREAD OF THE WEEK:  APPLE CIDER BREAD

THIS WEEK AT EDGEWATER…

Welcome frost!  I am shocked at my exclamation and openness to this event, but jeez we are tired and plants are tired.  Both fields and humans are ready to button up, cover up, and take a long winter nap.  However, pre naptime, there is much to do. Since Friday of last week, we have been busy sweeping the fields of any non frost hardy fruit.  This list includes peppers of every variety, tomatoes, lemongrass, etc… the kol crops and carrots can handle a cold snap and often sweeten up with every below 32 degree night, so thankfully there is no hurry on that harvest.  But the rest is on go-time as our crew is seasonal and our honey-do list is long.  So as soon as frost arrived Tuesday morning, we began to break down the fields: Cut plants, pull drip tape, remove rebar, remove posts, etc… This is absolutely the less glamorous side of farming, but there is a feeling of completion and renewal in this field breakdown and tidying up.  

Another area of completion we hit yesterday was the Halloween carving of the very last of the pumpkin crop.  It feels good to say, what we did not sell, we carved and stuck a candle in.  

As far as other crops go, we have a cooler stacked high with bins full of already harvested beets and carrots, and watermelon radishes.  Soon leeks and cabbage and the rest of the carrots will be picked and join the cooler party.  Outside the cooler are bins of onions, sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, and we remain beyond fortunate to have greenhouse space to grow greens.  All that said, we will not go hungry this winter, and there is always plenty of food for all.  

Ok, I need to step away from this computer, put on 10,000 layers of wool, top it off with some fancy neoprene gloves and go finish the CSA pick.  I see flurries outside.  

FARMY FOODIE PRO-TIPS: 

WINTER SQUASH WITH CRISPY SAGE AND HONEY VIA EDEN GRINSHPAN

Winter squash cut into ½ inch thick slices (i keep seeds in!)

15 fresh sage leaves

2 tablespoons honey

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

2 teaspoons kosher salt

½ teaspoon ground pepper

Pre heat oven to 425

On a baking sheet, toss the squash and sage with the olive oil, honey, salt and pepper.  Roast until the squash is tender and golden, 20 to 25 minutes, flipping once about halfway through.  Serve

Mirepoix Is the Foundation of Stews, Sauces, and More—Here's How to Make It:

The savory combination of celery, onion, and carrots (and sometimes other vegetables) is the silent MVP of so many recipes.

By Victoria Spencer  Updated on October 3, 2023

A big bowl of warm, hearty stew is typically full of flavors that go beyond the focal point (think: Beef Stew, Vegetarian Gumbo). If you've ever wondered what makes up the backbone of these liquid-based meals, then it's time to learn about mirepoix, one of the first things chefs learn in culinary school, and the foundation of flavor in so many dishes.

What Is Mirepoix?

A mirepoix is a combination of finely chopped aromatic vegetables that gives a subtle background flavor to dishes such as soups, stews, sauces, and braises. It's a French term that was reportedly devised in the 18th century by the cook to the Duc de Lévis-Mirepoix, a French field Marshal.

The classic mirepoix is made up of onion, carrot, and celery, but this version is only one of many possible variations. Mushrooms, parsnips, leeks, peppers, tomatoes, and garlic are all considered aromatic vegetables and can be used in endless combinations in a mirepoix. Other cuisines have flavor bases allied to the mirepoix:

Soffrito

The Italian soffritto is similar to a mirepoix. Like a mirepoix, it calls for onions, celery, and carrots, and sometimes pancetta and garlic.

The Holy Trinity

The "holy trinity" is used as the base of most soups and stews—including gumbo—in Cajun and Creole cooking in Louisiana. It includes onions, celery, and—instead of carrot—a bell pepper. Green peppers were substituted because they're easier to grow in southern Louisiana—plus they're delicious. It also differs from a mirepoix because the holy trinity uses equal amounts of each vegetable.

Sofrito

A sofrito is a Spanish flavor base. It is similar to the mirepoix in that it uses finely chopped vegetables but the vegetables used are different: onion, tomatoes, bell peppers, and garlic. This sofrito is the base of many recipes including paella, sancocho, and rice-and-bean dishes. A Puerto Rican version of sofrito is known as recaito, and often includes ajíes dulces (small sweet chile peppers). It is used in dishes such as the island's take on arroz con pollo.

How to Make a Mirepoix

For a classic mirepoix, use 2 parts onion to 1 part carrot and 1 part celery.

Rinse, trim, and peel the vegetables.

Chop them into uniform pieces. The shorter the cooking time of your recipe, the smaller the pieces should be, so that they effectively infuse the foods with flavor.

Using a Mirepoix

You can add the mirepoix uncooked to stocks and broths for a light dose of flavor.

To add richness to heartier stews and braises, "sweat" the vegetables first, cooking them with a little oil or butter over low heat until they start to release their juices into the pan.

Recipes that start with a mirepoix are many, from rich French chicken stews and French-style pork stews to those that start with a sofrito, like Spanish-style shellfish dishes. Almost every vegetable soup starts with a mirepoix. Once you know about this flavor base, you'll see how ubiquitous it is.

PICKLE YOUR JALAPENOS!!

Store-bought jars of pickled jalapeños are perfectly delicious. But if you feel like doing more work than unscrewing a cap—or if you bought a glut of peppers at the farmers market—you can make quick-pickled jalapeños (or anything) at home too. First, slice your peppers into rounds. There’s no law against using whole jalapeños, but smaller pieces will soak up the brine faster. Bring 1 cup distilled white vinegar, 2 Tbsp. kosher salt, 2 tsp. sugar, up to 2 Tbsp. spices (e.g., peppercorns, ­coriander seeds, and/or ­mustard seeds), chopped fresh herbs (like cilantro), and 2 cups water to a boil in a saucepan. You’ll want enough liquid to cover the peppers, so feel free to scale this ratio up or down as needed.

Transfer sliced peppers to clean glass jars and pour over the brine, leaving ½ inch of headspace between the liquid line and the rim. Screw on the lids and let the jars cool before transferring to the fridge. Your pickled jalapeños will be best after 48 hours and last up to two months refrigerated. 

[switchelsweets]

I went to culinary school and was “classically trained” in French cooking. My one instructor liked to say, “simplicity done to perfection is elegance.” Meaning shit does not have to be complex to be fancy. You don’t need it to be expensive, it doesn’t have to take thirty ingredients and two days to make. Make it tasty and presentable, and people will inherently think it’s fancy.

And that’s extremely true for 95 percent of French cooking. The ingredients speak for themselves. The same six cheap-ass ingredients can produce a wealth of very different and very high-quality results if you just know how to handle them. In a roundabout way, it’s about making the most of what you have.

And you know who else has made the most of what they have? Literally any underprivileged person or people throughout history. We might not be of the mindset to whip up soufflés and French onion soup, but shit, we’re absolutely stretching our eggs and cooking with scraps and dirt-cheap ingredients. That’s all those recipes are.

As usual, I blame 19th century white western Europe. They spent that whole century pushing incredibly self-important (and generally racist and classist) ideas that we have to live with today. “Traditional” gender roles, phrenology, the Salvation Army, loads of historical revisionism… and the idea that absolutely nobody cooks better than the French, despite the French cooking philosophy being incredibly universal.

Granted, French food culture did benefit from having a more organized professional kitchen; I’ll give August Escoffier his props. And they probably put out more cookbooks for publication than was globally common at the time. And today, with Michelin being a French company, they are heavily biased to give Michelin stars to restaurants doing French food or using French ingredients or techniques. But French shit is not that special.

Anyone making sausage gravy has made a roux. Anyone making Mac n cheese has made béchamel. Boeuf bourgignon is just a cup of red wine away from a standard pot roast. Baguettes are literally three ingredients - just like so many other breads that people around the world have been doing for ages! What makes it scary and pretentious is solely this inflated fake importance that it’s been given.

Y’all know a whole lot more classical fancy shit than you think. You’re just not doing it in French ;P

A lot of American cooking is really quite French and it has been for centuries and I used to not know that and everyone talked up French cooking so much and then I started actually looking into it and I was like. I. Cook like this. Everyone I know cooks like this. This is just butter. It’s butter, Michael. It’s butter. You were hyping up butter. I can already do this.

[riverthebooknerd]

rating classic american foods (as an american)

brisket mac n cheese. 10/10, had this for dinner and it was fucking delicious. with bbq sauce? dear god, it's better than sex. bonus points if you make it into a sandwich, like a grilled cheese or somethin

cheeseburgers. are you fucking kidding? 10/10. i fucking love cheeseburgers. i'd sell my fucking soul for a cheeseburger. and, by the way, when i say this, i don't mean mcdonalds. mcdonald's can suck my ass. their food is barely even food, shouldn't have the right to call that lump of garbage plastic a burger.

biscuits and gravy. 9/10, delicious. surprisingly easy to make, and a really good brunch meal. reminds me of my grandma.

loaded fries. 12/10. i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE loaded fries. are you joking? fries with cheese, bacon, sour cream, cheese, green onions- UGH SO SO GOOD

grilled cheese & tomato soup. 8/10. comfort food. very nice on a rainy day. easy to make and helps when i'm sad. i like to make my own sandwiches, though, because as a kid my parents would always burn mine

scrambled eggs and toast. 7/10. reliable go-to. perfect for a shitty morning or a late-night snack. requires zero effort. very nice.

chili cheese tots. 15/10. when i tell you that i would take these over coke, i fucking mean it. don't do drugs. get some good fucking chili cheese tots and it'll change your life.

cobb salad. 5/10. i'm looking at lists of "american foods" and this showed up??? um it's alright i guess. not the worst salad? i dunno.

twinkies. 7.5/10. delicious, perfect material for jokes, but also when i eat them i don't feel like i've eaten anything, so then i'll scarf down like five of them and uh oh! now i've had 10 billion calories! still good, but i feel like they're an acquired taste.

fried squash/okra/pickles/onions/etc. 12/10, perfect snacks. dip those fuckers in ranch. they're SO so good i could fucking kill myself. honestly, i hate to perpetuate stereotypes, but as long as i'm eating any fried food, i could die happy. idgaf if it makes me fat, i'm eating that fucking fried squash. (btw, if you haven't had fried oreos, they're actually really good. you should try them)

beef jerky. 8/10, minus points because it's too fucking expensive. also, it's dry as fuck. other than that, though, it's pretty good.

cornbread. 10/10. perfect balance of sweet/savory. eat it with chili or honey, tastes fucking scrumptious. love cornbread.

chicken fried steak. 9/10. very very yummy, also costs an arm and a leg for a decent one. fucking worth it though. especially when it's got gravy and a runny egg on top, yum

meatloaf. 8/10. everyone always shits on the meatloaf, but that's just cuz they haven't had GOOD meatloaf. it's actually very tasty when it's not from a school cafeteria. SPEAKING OF WHICH-

school cafeteria food. -253792/10. you've heard the stories, but they'll never do the food justice. listen to me. i am grabbing you by the shoulders. i once had a friend who drank straight ketchup packets because the lunches were so disgusting that they'd rather get their nutrients from ketchup, and they didn't have enough food at home. the running joke was about how the school just went to the nearest garbage dump and microwaved whatever they shit could find. nothing was safe. the food wasn't even food. it looked and tasted like if plastic was diseased. i feel bad for the plastic that the food gets compared to. students were constantly getting in trouble because they'd make fortunes off of selling chips and candy bars at lunch. there was a permanent line at the vending machine, which was broken half the time. everyone was hungry, but very few were actually desperate enough to eat the food. the only things that were eaten were the fruit (when it wasn't moldy) and the occasional hotdog (that i can confirm tasted like rubber). there was a shop set up by the school that sold sodas and candy, and you had to get there at the very beginning of lunch, because the line was so long and so slow that there would still be 50 people waiting at the end of lunch. food fights were so common because people would rather throw the food than eat it. you had to buy an entire lunch just to get an apple or a bottle of water, so there'd be piles of shitty food that looks like it was vomited up, because people would buy the lunch and just not eat the gross parts (most of the meal). some people have actually been sent home from stomachaches that they got from eating the food. do. not. trust. public. school. cafeterias.

[lyanro]

To add onto these ingredients — You can do literally SO much with eggs fr. Eggs, canned beans, canned tomatoes and rice. Here’s a bunch of ideas under the cut (simplify/adapt/omit ingredients in the provided recipes as needed):

- If you get bullion cubes/broth/stock of some kind and a lemon/bottled lemon juice, you can make avgolemono with egg, rice and the rotisserie chicken (or without the chicken if you’re vegetarian or just prefer it without). So yummy and cozy and FILLING.

- With the canned tomatoes, eggs and rice you can make a simple Chinese tomato egg stir fry.

- Add the beans, sautéed onions and (optionally) a tortilla wrap to that and you can make it into a breakfast burrito/burrito bowl! Plus you can put the sour cream on it too

- Potato frittata with the onions and potatoes. Yum. (You could add some of the shredded cheese too if you like. Dried oregano is great if you have it.)

- Canned tomatoes+canned chickpeas (or other white beans like great northern or navy beans)+onions is one of my favorite filling pasta sauces — Chop the onions however you want and sauté until translucent, then add the tomatoes. Add a tablespoon of butter/butter spread, if you have it. Let simmer until saucy, then add the chickpeas. (I like to smash ‘em slightly with a fork once they’re in the sauce, helps thicken it.) Salt and pepper to taste. let simmer for a little longer, then put on your pasta.

- …Oh also. Canned. Tuna. You can make many pasta sauces (<- you could swap sour cream for the cream cheese in that last one), chickpea or white bean tuna salad, tuna chowder; if you’ve got mayo you can do tuna salad (for sandwiches of crackers), tuna melts, tuna and rice, and so much more

- With the frozen broccoli, eggs, rice and onions, you could make fried rice. If you happen to have soy sauce and/or hot sauce, put that in the rice before you fry it and it’ll be even better.

- Speaking of sauce — Save your extra sauce packets from fast food places!! You can keep them in a jar in the fridge. Y’know how Taco Bell always gives you like a million salsa packets? USE THEM. That’s free ketchup/mustard/salsa/mayo baby! You can put that shit on eggs, baked potatoes, sandwiches, veggies, chips, etc. (Same with salt/pepper packets, red pepper flake or cheese packets from pizza places, etc.)

- Potato steak fries, if you want some variation from the baked potatoes

- You can smash up beans (pretty much any kind) with some salt, pepper and spices and make bean dip/spread, or make refried beans (you can also just buy canned refried beans too if you prefer idk they’re usually not horribly expensive)

- If you’ve got broth of some kind and pasta (small pasta like macaroni is best but honestly any kind works) you can simplify this recipe to make pasta e fagioli/pasta fazool, or bean and pasta soup. (The basic ingredients are just beans+broth+onion+canned tomato+pasta, the carrots/celery/garlic/spices listed in the recipe are great but you don’t really *need* them in a pinch) You could shred some of the rotisserie chicken and add it if you want, or the diced ham!

- Add broccoli to your instant ramen and top it with a fried egg to make it a little healthier, more filling, and more interesting!

- If you have access to a blender or food processor, this broccoli and potato soup is v simple, quick and easy

- Obviously, omelette or scrambled eggs with a mix of almost any of these things. Chopped broccoli+shredded cheese+diced ham+diced potatoes sounds very yummy to me

If you have bread…

- Grilled cheese w/ the shredded cheese from the first post

- French toast is a great way to use up old bread, it’s just eggs, milk, bread, butter and sugar. Great topped with lemon and sugar if you don’t have maple syrup (or you could even make your own simple syrup)

- Fried egg on toast/egg-in-the-hole is a classic easy breakfast

- If you’ve got mayo (or butter!) — egg salad! Great as a sandwich filling or on its own.

And finally…

- Rice pudding for dessert:)

- Or easy egg custard😌

- (Canned peaches/pears or other fruit make nice toppings for either of these things or are a fine dessert on their own!)

- Meringue cookies if you have lemon! (the ones in this recipe use lemon juice instead of cream of tartar, which I figured would be better since cream of tartar is not really a necessity for many things and is typically a bit more expensive)

…So for the other ingredients I mentioned here:

- Rice — You can get like 5 lbs. for $3 depending on the store/brand (5 lbs should last you a LONG time)

- Canned beans — Varies, but usually less than a dollar a can

- Canned tomatoes — 14.5 oz. can of diced tomatoes typically $1-$1.50

- Broth/stock/bullion (A box of broth is typically about $2-3; an 8-pack of bullion cubes can be anywhere from $1-$5)

- Pasta — Again, varies, but typically about $2/lb., so if you’re living on your own that’s anywhere from 2-5 meals depending on how much you eat/what you’re using it for

- Milk — Probably the expensive thing on here if you account for its short shelf-life. On average about $3/gallon

- Sugar - 4 lbs. is typically $2-3. (Should last you a whileeee)

- Bread - Varies wildly depending on the type of bread, store and brand but you can get 20 oz. for $1.10 (that’s 22 slices, so 5¢ a slice)

- Canned fruit — Typically $1-$3 for a 15 oz. can depending on the fruit/store/brand

- Canned tuna — A 5 oz. can go for as little as like 80¢ depending on brand/store and rarely more than $2.

- Mayo — Slightly more expensive but will last a while and great for egg salad, tuna salad, pasta salad, sandwiches, sauces and more. Typically between $4-6 for 30 oz.

- If you don’t like broccoli you could probably substitute (or supplement) most of the things broccoli is mentioned for here with frozen peas, frozen green beans, frozen carrots or frozen spinach (frozen spinach is a teeny bit more expensive, usually about a dollar more but still usually less than $2 a bag)

- Also here’s Great Depression Cooking. If you don’t already know about it, it’s a delightful YouTube channel absolutely chock full of great cheap recipes by a woman who lived through the Great Depression. Highly recommend. Happy cooking<3

y'all baked potatoes are getting me through this broke ass period in my life

10lb bag of potatoes (like 10-15 full meals) - $3, $0.20 to $0.30 per potato depending on size Butter spread - $2 for the whole bag of potatoes, about $0.13 per potato Shredded cheese - $1.50 tops about 10 potatoes (more if you don’t like a lot of cheese) $0.15 a potato Sour cream - less than $1 for about 15 potatoes ($0.13 a potato) For protein, a rotisserie chicken is usually $4 and it tops 10 potatoes, and diced ham is $2 a pack and tops at least 5 potatoes

tl;dr a fully decked baked potato costs less than one dollar and will fill you the fuck up, you might get tired of them after a few days but they’re so much better than ramen noodles and way better for you in terms of sodium and nutritional value

[thedisneychef]

What Recipes Use Heavy Cream? Delicious and Creative Ideas

Hi there! If you're looking for something delicious to make, heavy cream is a great ingredient to include. It adds flavor and richness to so many dishes, from creamy sauces to decadent desserts. In this article, I'll give you some ideas of what recipes use heavy cream that are sure to please your taste buds. Heavy cream has been used in the kitchen for centuries - it's definitely one of the most popular ingredients out there! Whether you want an easy dinner recipe or something special for dessert, chances are good that adding a little bit of heavy cream will do the trick. Read on to learn more about using this versatile dairy product in all kinds of tasty dishes. Soups And Stews I'm a big fan of soups and stews, especially when I want something warm and comforting on a cold day. Slow-cooking is the only way to go if you're looking for an amazing flavor. With some heavy cream thrown in, your soup or stew will be even better! Adding heavy cream gives any dish a rich and creamy texture. It's also great for thickening up all kinds of recipes, like chowders or bisques. You can use it as a topping too - just drizzle over the top before serving and you'll have folks asking what your secret ingredient is! When life gets busy, nothing beats coming home to a cozy dinner with family and friends. Soups and stews are perfect for those occasions because they require minimal prep time (thanks slow cooking!) but still provide that delicious comfort food feeling we all crave from time to time. Adding heavy cream takes them to the next level - enjoy! Dips And Sauces I love making dips and sauces with heavy cream because it adds an amazing richness of flavors to them. The creaminess of the ingredients helps to create a velvety smooth texture that's infused with aromas I can't get enough of. Whether its garlic, basil, or any other herbs or spices, they all come together perfectly when you use heavy cream in your recipes. One dish I make is a roasted red pepper sauce that turns out so delicious every single time. It starts by roasting some bell peppers and adding them to a blender along with onion, garlic cloves, olive oil, vinegar, sugar, salt and pepper. Then I add a few tablespoons of heavy cream before blending until everything comes together into one creamy consistency. As soon as this sauce is ready it's like no other! With such intense flavors from the peppers combined with sweetness from the sugar - this recipe will have you coming back for more over and over again! Baked Goods When it comes to baking, heavy cream can be used in a variety of recipes. Its high fat content makes it perfect for creating light and fluffy cakes, cupcakes, and other desserts. Biscuits and scones are also popular treats that benefit from the addition of heavy cream. While some recipes call for simply adding the cream to the dry ingredients prior to baking, there are plenty of ways you can get creative with cooking methods and flavor combinations. For example, try replacing part or all of the butter in your favorite cookies recipe with heavy cream. The result will likely be an even softer cookie than usual! You could also whip up some homemade ice-cream or frozen yogurt by combining sweetened heavy cream with various fruits or flavors like chocolate or vanilla extract. For something more savory, use it in place of milk when making mashed potatoes; they'll come out extra creamy and flavorful! No matter how you choose to incorporate heavy cream into your kitchen creations, these rich and indulgent recipes are sure to please everyone's taste buds! Puddings And Custards I'm a sucker for puddings and custards. Not only are they delicious, but you can dress them up with all sorts of flavored creams and cheesy fillings. Whether I'm entertaining guests or just looking for a sweet treat to indulge in during the weekend, these recipes have me covered! Take this classic vanilla pudding recipe as an example: it calls for heavy cream combined with eggs, sugar, and cornstarch until thickened. The result is a creamy and smooth dessert that's made even more delightful when topped off with fresh whipped cream or chocolate shavings. It's simple yet oh-so-satisfying! If you're feeling adventurous, why not give my spin on tiramisu a try? This version uses mascarpone cheese mixed with egg whites instead of the traditional heavy cream mixture. A dash of coffee liqueur gives it an extra kick while cocoa powder keeps it light and fluffy - perfect after dinner indulgence! Ice Creams And Frozen Treats I love making frozen treats at home, especially when I can use heavy cream. With a little bit of creativity and some simple ingredients you can make delicious desserts to enjoy all summer long. Fruit smoothies are one of my favorite recipes that require heavy cream. By blending fresh fruit with ice, sugar and the cream, I have an amazing treat in minutes! It's also easy to get creative by adding different flavors like vanilla or even chocolate for something extra special. For those hot days, nothing beats homemade ice popsicles made with heavy cream. All you need is your choice of juice or puree mixed together with the cream – it's so creamy and delicious! You can try experimenting with different flavors as well as mix-ins like coconut flakes or nuts for added texture. And if you want something healthier, why not try yogurt instead? Whatever way you decide to go, these frozen treats will be sure to delight everyone this summer! Frequently Asked Questions What Is The Shelf Life Of Heavy Cream? When it comes to storage solutions, the shelf life of heavy cream depends on its fat content. Full-fat heavy cream typically lasts between two and three weeks when stored in the refrigerator or up to 12 months if frozen. Low-fat options may last a little longer since they have less fat that can go bad. It’s important to note that while these are guidelines, you should always check for signs of spoilage before using any type of dairy product. What Is The Nutritional Content Of Heavy Cream? If you're curious about the nutritional content of heavy cream, you can rest assured that it's packed with fat and calories. A single tablespoon contains 51 calories and 5.3 grams of fat, so if you're watching your calorie intake or trying to maintain a low-fat diet, try to limit how much heavy cream you use! How Can Heavy Cream Be Substituted For Other Dairy Products? When you need a dairy substitute for heavy cream, there are plenty of options! If you're looking to make creamy sauces, yogurt or sour cream can be substituted in equal parts. For baking, evaporated milk is a great choice that'll still provide your dish with the right texture and flavor. Coconut cream is also an option if you want something vegan-friendly. Whichever one you choose, these substitutes should work as well as heavy cream! How Much Heavy Cream Should Be Used In A Recipe? When it comes to using heavy cream in a recipe, the amount you use will depend on what the outcome should be. If you're looking for a creamy texture, then you'll need more than if you were just substituting it for another dairy product. Generally speaking, when substituting heavy cream for other dairy products like milk or yogurt, start with about half as much and adjust from there depending on your desired consistency. Can Heavy Cream Be Used In Savory Dishes? Yes, heavy cream can be used in savory dishes! Heavy cream is a great way to add an indulgent richness and creamy texture to any dish. It's particularly suited for sauces, as it adds a wonderful thickness that makes the sauce extra luxurious. However, if you're looking for dairy free alternatives or just want to lighten up your meal, there are plenty of other options to make creamy sauces. Try using almond milk or cashew cream instead - they provide a similar velvety texture without all the added fat. Conclusion In conclusion, heavy cream is an incredibly versatile dairy product that can be used in a variety of recipes to add richness and flavor. It has a long shelf life when stored correctly, making it the perfect ingredient for any kitchen. Heavy cream packs a nutritional punch with its high fat content, so it should be enjoyed in moderation as part of a well-rounded diet. When substituting it for other dairy products, keep in mind how much heavier it is and adjust accordingly. Finally, don't limit yourself to just desserts – there are plenty of savory dishes that make delicious use of heavy cream too! With all these benefits, why not try adding some heavy cream into your next recipe? Read the full article