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#I COMBED THROUGH EVERYTHING BRO. E V E R Y THING
indigopoptart · 11 months
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OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.
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RFA + Minor Trio react to MC being kidnapped? And how would they go about saying them?
âśż im sorry if you wanted a serious answer to this because this got goofy.
Yoosung
Everyone expects him to cry, but no - no, this little chick of a man has hatched into a full-fletched chicken, and if the Legend of Zelda has taught anyone anything, it’s that our favorite egg-producing feathered friends ought to be respected and feared.
He gets cold. Quiet. And though he doesn’t look much like an action hero, he has learned how to be an unstoppable, unrelenting force of destruction via his mother. When you’re taken, Yoosung will not be denied in his quest to get you back.
Yoosung hires a private investigator and pours over documents, photos, and red-string connected diagrams in the interests of finding out who took you, where you’re being held, and how to get you back.
When storming the warehouse where you’re being kept, he doesn’t go in through the front door, but uses his LOLOL raid-planning skills to engineer a rescue operation. His co-conspirators are said private investigator and his gaming buddies, who Aren’t Going To Leave a Bro Hanging, Dangit.
For once, Yoosung gets to be the shining paladin of his dreams as he rushes in to rescue you with a bunch of other nerds.
Zen
Zen gets sulky, angsty, and in typical Zen fashion, he lone wolfs it.
He really looks the part of a brooding boyfriend set on getting the love of his life back. He puts on his leather jacket! He gets on his motorcycle! And he starts pursuing your captors with a dogged vengeance.
He uses his army of fans to track down details about where you are, because even though his armada of pining, lovestruck teenagers doesn’t entirely appreciate your existence, the thought of Zen being a loyal badass who goes to the ends of the earth for his loved one is so D~R~E~A~M~Y that they help out. With thousands of eyes combing the entirety of Korea, he gets some leads about your location within short order.
Once he knows where you are, he gets on his motorcycle and CRASHES THAT PARTY.
LITERALLY.
CRASHES THROUGH THE WINDOW.
then throws a chair at someone because Zen’s planning abilities are poor, but his heart is in the right place, ok?
Jaehee
jaehee karate chops a motherfucker.
Like - there’s no stopping her. There’s no halting her for a fraction of a second. Once she hears the news, she stands up, adjusts her glasses, walks out of work… and goes on the warpath.
like, Turn Down for What is blaring in the background as she walks into the camera, explosions firing behind her while she’s dressed in her pencil skirt and fashionable suitjacket.
she buries one of her heels into a man’s stomach.
IT’S PRETTY SCARY.
She rescues you and carries you off into the sunset, while on a yacht, without having sustained a scratch. Everything is sparkling. There’s a dolphin jumping superimposed over a rainbow.
…i will admit this might be wish fulfillment here
please jaehee. come for me.
please.
i’ll do anything.
[The others are under the Read-more!]
Jumin
Solves his problems with money, and not by “paying the ransom” like his staff is suggesting. No. Jumin can’t be that complacent. Jumin can’t reward the person who would dare touch his angel.
Jumin basically hires a small army to get you back.
It’s like one of those action movies, except Jumin is the president who is managing everything from the command room while the Cool Guys are running around dodging explosions or whatever.
Honestly, he’s pretty scary. Like, James-bond “petting a cat while plotting” scary.
When you’re rescued, he wants to be the first to talk to you. Like, none of his agents are allowed to speak to you and explain anything, it has to come from him directly.
he also doesn’t slip, because lmao, there’s no way he’s going to rest while you’re in danger. what the hell does anyone take him for???
Seven
basically has an emotional breakdown where he shoves everyone out of his life, which is honestly business as usual for Seven.
He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t do anything except work his hacking magic and go to the bathroom, which he only does because he knows he can use his cell-phone to continue searching while he’s on the toilet. 
it’s. kinda gross. seven gets pretty smelly. at some point, Vanderwood forces their way in and begins aiding him, but that’s only after three days of stale air is allowed to accumulate in Seven’s awful Hacking Den.
Once he locates you, he just wants to drive out IMMEDIATELY, because WHO CARES ABOUT PREPARATION AND SAFETY MEASURES, YOU’RE IN TROUBLE AND EVERY SECOND HE DELAYS COULD MEAN YOU GET HURT EVEN MORE!!
vanderwood is the only voice of sanity in this miserable endeavor, and is the one that hauls a duffel-bag full of weapons and Seven’s weird robo-dog along for the ride.
The resulting debacle is kind of like an episode of Charlie’s Angels, if Charlie’s Angels were actually just two loser secret-agents with weird fashion senses and who are really hyped up on caffeine.
As soon as Seven gets you back, he passes out, and Vanderwood has to grab the wheel because Seven is a moron who won’t let anyone else drive his car even when he’s ODing on energy drinks and needs to go to the hospital.
vanderwood tells you not to pity him, but you do, because he’s your Hero.
V
please tell me honestly, do you think this man is going to save you?
no.
he’s not
he just bursts into tears and has a panic attack, sobbing about how if he was a better boyfriend this wouldn’t have happened and it’s ALL HIS FAULT.
(jumin takes pity on his stupid best friend and throws money at the problem for him.)
Look, V tries to be cool. Really. He wants to save you, but he’s blind as a bat and probably was shoved into lockers when he was in high-school. seriously, he’s a photographer. nothing in his skillset prepared him for this!
His only real contribution is giving photo-editing advice to help improve the resolution on some security camera footage, which Jumin later hypes up to you as having been a key contribution to Operation: Save MC.
it wasn’t.
jumin is just the ultimate wingman and doesn’t want you to know that V had to drink some hot cocoa to calm down.
Unknown (Saeran)
Saeran seems to take the news pretty well, in that he doesn’t punch any walls or yell at anyone. no, he just grabs a baseball bat out of the closet, procures a length of rope, and calmly walks out the door.
this is Bad.
I cannot emphasize how Bad this is.
Saeran doesn’t want help. Not only does he not trust anyone with the job, but it would also damage his pride. He won’t even let Seven help him, though it’s fair to say that Seven isn’t about people letting him do things and he helps out anyway.
So, Seven is running around trying to low-key keep Saeran from getting killed while Saeran just launches himself into danger with a comet-like velocity.
seriously, once he finds the location where you’re being kept, he DROPS IN THROUGH THE SKYLIGHT WITH ONLY SOME ROPE AND A BASEBALL BAT TO HELP HIM.
saeran and vanderwood are there in the shadows, shooting guys and trying to keep him from dying.
When you’re freed, you hug him and tell him he was SO COOL. You do not see Vanderwood and Seven high-tailing it out of there, exhausted and miserable.
They don’t mind that they don’t get any credit, but they wish Saeran would stop BRAGGING about it.
Vanderwood
ok this loser is an ex-secret agent, do you REALLY think they weren’t prepared for this eventuality?
do you really think that they didn’t expect that this might happen?
do you really think they didn’t already have a pre-planned response strategy to handle you getting kidnapped?
Well, they do.
And they follow it to the letter.
They are so organized about this. They even had VACATION TIME built up which they’d saved for precisely this purpose.
Seven Owes Them, so Vandy makes him help, and they’re totally calm as they tell him what they need him to do, where they need him to go, and what they need him to bring.
They’re criticizing the kidnapper’s technique, for christ’s sake (though tbh that might also be a coping mechanism.)
This is such a boring, mechanical rescue that Seven feels he has to spice it up by incorporating robots.
This goes badly, and in the end, Vanderwood has to jump with you out of a warehouse window into the bay and pray that neither of you are implicated in arson charges.
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